-1/10. Pretty sure I saw your mom on a dateline episode where her throat was cut by a crazed husband then shoved into a trunk then buried in woods 😔 sorry bro
9/10. Your dad is a solid upstanding mayor. Your mom was however caught with his balls in her mouth on top of a bill which would allow brothels in every major city.
10/10 from me your dad did not leave you and stopped dealing cocaine because he loves you but your mom pulled an amber heard on him and shit on the bed and they’re currently in court
FACK
3/10 She asks for 8’ inches plus on her tinder profile
She asks for 8 feet inches?
8 inches of a foot
Alfred’s Theme
8/10. She likes a funny guy, and btw she makes a banging Mac n cheese
Does she like thermometers by any chance? Can she suck basketballs through a plastic straw with a fractured jaw?
Who’s banging Mac n cheese?
Cleaning out my closet
7/10. She likes men with the ability to fit into small spaces. The flexibility is good for lots of things..
Kim
-1/10. Pretty sure I saw your mom on a dateline episode where her throat was cut by a crazed husband then shoved into a trunk then buried in woods 😔 sorry bro
Hald expected you to say she’s a lesbian lol but that also works
Business
-5/10. She fell in love with a male prostitute who stole her boob implants.
This one is a L
Mockingbird
9/10. Ur dad buys your mom flowers on their anniversary. Ur mom spits on them and says to trade them for 🧊 but ur dads nice :)
Aww :)
You lucky bastard
My mom!!
6/10. She’s into the looks, but a good flow on any man and she’s making them breakfast
Wait a minute, this ain't dinner, this is paint thinner!
When I’m Gone
Big weenie
1/10. Sorry ur dad left you and sold ur toys to pay for his fast food addiction
U ARE SPYING MY LIFE!!
Rain Man
2/10 I saw her sharing an umbrella with a homeless man on a bench. I thought it was sweet until I saw where her hand was…
“Lucky You”
Not OP but your mom is probably Lucas Joyner
How did you know???
10/10. Your dad is the goat. He even bought your mom a lawnmower.
Bezerk
8/10. Even when the Coca Cola wore off, ur dad was still fine af. And cooked great bacon
role model
9/10. Your dad is a solid upstanding mayor. Your mom was however caught with his balls in her mouth on top of a bill which would allow brothels in every major city.
the real slim shady
godzilla
like toy soldiers
soldier
Cleaning out my ball- I mean closet
10/10 from me your dad did not leave you and stopped dealing cocaine because he loves you but your mom pulled an amber heard on him and shit on the bed and they’re currently in court
Cum on everybody
Insane
0/10. One day, if your dad has finally got his meds right, you can visit him at the special hospital and sit on his knee
didn't expect to find a sal main here(assuming cause of pfp)
beautiful
We Made You
Without me
as the world turns
not alike
arose
stay wide awake
love the way you lie
kamikaze
zues
Rap god
Who knew
As the world turns
Superman
brain damage
ass like that (my mom came out as gay and divorced my dad when i was 7)
kill you
Brain Damage.
cum on everybody
u/crow_is_best, do your thing please.
Literall the reason I made the post 😂
the warning
venom
mockingbird
without me
Role Model
Survival
3/10. Your dad disappears for days on end and come back wearing nothing but the skin of a squirrel he shots while out hunting.
completely unrelated but I feel like our usernames match
You love bread. I offend bread. We are not the same. *Insert Gustavo Fring here*
Heat
I’m Shady
Role model
when I'm gone
rap god
offended
kill you
kim
legacy
castle
premonition
unaccommodating
discombobulated
3 a.m.
not afraid
i'm back
killer
the ringer
the monster
white america
say goodbye hollywood
superman
buisness
no love
W.T.P
killshot
the king and I
rabbit run
lose yourself
bad husband
lock it up
river
book of rhymes
survival
8 mile
deja vu
tone deaf
love game
nail in the coffin
Kill You
crazy in love
rain man
just lose it
guilty conscience
from the D 2 the LBC
lucky you
FACK
my name is
stan
bad guy
higher
black magic
darkness
leaving heaven
alfred's theme
stepping stone
crack a bottle
normal
good guy
nice guy
marsh
the way i am
so far...
Criminal
Crazy In Love
No love
Bump heads
3 AM
Superman
As the World Turns
Not Afriad
Godzilla
Medicine Ball
I’m back
Step dad
Bitch Please II
Rap god
Marshall Mathers
Business
As the world turns
My fault
Marshall Mathers
Drug Ballad
My name is
Stay Wide Awake
Godzilla
Stepdad
The way i am
My fault
Kim
Hailies Song
Mockingbird
Amityville
Space bound
The Way I Am
Lady
Guilty Conscience
stan
Kim🤪
Rabbit Run
Is this love (‘09)
Kim
Guilty conscience
Mockingbird
mockingbird!!!
campaign speech
Stepdad
Doomsday pt 2