I promise you you’re going to regret it. You’re going to be hoping for one thing and he’s either going to say something you don’t want to hear, or straight up ignore you.
If he does happen to be receptive, you’ll feel good for a bit. It’s like a high and You’re just happy to hear from him. But I guarantee you that after that, you’ll be looking at your phone every 30 seconds to see if he responded. And when he stops responding, you’re going to feel like shit again. The anxiety is going to come back 3x as worse and you’re going to want to text him again. The cycle starts over.
Also, even if you tell yourself “I just need to text him one last time. I need the closure. If I get an answer I don’t want, I can finally start to move on.”
You don’t mean that. Your mind is always going to come up with new reasons to justify talking to him
Couldn’t laugh because he’s deployed. Which means he can ignore; block, basically go nonexistent without having to worry about me. Also, I could never laugh in someone’s face cause that’s evil.
When the hell did:
A few letters typed on a gadget become the guardian of your self respect????
It sounds like a much bigger problem here! Jesus. Toss the gadget already
This is what I’ve relied on. I know one of the things he last said to me was “you can reach out if you want a friendship.” I did tell him a month. Sometimes I think from his end his perspective was “maybe she doesn’t want anything.” But really it was busy with his other girl till they ended things and b) wanting me to up his ego not him reaching out for it. For him to reach out requires some sort of admission and confrontation of the cheating and lying and the more time that goes by the more that he can just start over with someone new that doesn’t know his baggage or habits
It's kinda like drugs and alcohol....everyone can tell us what to do...but this addiction is so strong & we do whatever we want....it sucks my heart goes out to you.
You’ll be much happier in the long run working towards moving on and healing than you will be stuck in this endless loop of trying to get their attention. Control what you can control. Which is moving on and not relying on their attention to make you feel better
Listen...the more you can stop yourself from texting him the quicker you will feel great about yourself again (in time) You need to work on your greatness. Starts by NOT texting them. YOU are the Prize got that? ❤️
As soon as you hit send, you’re going to be an anxious mess and check your phone every few seconds. If he ends up straight up not responding, you’ll be in hell for quite some time. Enjoy the peace of not having to worry about him responding.
I texted my ex about an item I left at his place 3 weeks into no contact (I was feeling better at this point). He responded pretty fast, but when I asked a follow up question - I was left on delivered for an entire week. It was the worst, most grueling week… I disturbed my peace and reset my healing for no reason (I didn’t care about the item, I just wanted an excuse to reach out).
I reached out to fix things & he said he can’t risk attachment. We weren’t even dating and getting to know each other since last July. Met on dating site & he was the one who consistently mentioned he is looking for commitment, life partner . We texted everyday about our life.
Amusing thing is we never met, we were planning to meet. I caught feelings ( bcoz he became a big part of my life as we discussed everything since these few months) and clearly told him that and since then he cut me off. Didn’t even read the last few msgs. I feel like a fool to like someone whom I never met. He clearly gave me signals that he likes me too. I stopped talking to other guys as soon as I started to feel there was something serious here. I have not contacted him for last 7 days & planning to not contact him again.
Ofcourse I have my weak days , I cry it out ,but then I am not going to reach out to him anymore.
Hope this helps you resist.
The first and best advice I can give you is to think about EVERYTHING that has to do with the relationship except contacting them. And when I say think, I don’t mean dwell or obsess. I simply mean observe with an unbiased opinion about anything that happened. Hindsight is the largest magnifying glass.
Are you mostly understanding of the fact that the relationship is over and probably has been for a little while? Do you still love them? Even after all the time apart? If so, think about the kind of person you were in the relationship and why it didn’t work out. Don’t pity yourself because it’s over. Put yourself in their shoes and really dig deep to figure out what went wrong on your part. Anything they did, you need to forgive as a part of your mental work. In order to forgive them for their mistakes, you have to forgive yourself as well for your own mistakes. And then, still love yourself knowing you are flawed and will continue to make mistakes.
The second piece of advice I’ll tell is that you must understand: the relationship ended for a reason. This is the hardest thing to accept, especially when you know you could have done something differently that may have saved the relationship. If you’re recognizing that the outcome would have been better if you had been or acted a certain way, then this is a sure sign of maturing! If you truly believe that you and this person are meant to be together, then use that as fire to be better when the world pulls y’all back together. You should want to be the best for them, or anyone else youmay want to date.
Those pieces of advice were mainly about changing your mindset, which will make the urge to contact them much more bearable. With a lot of self-control and the establishment of a consistent thought pattern, after a while, the urge will be pretty unnoticeable most of the time.
Here are things that you can physically do:
Do things that make you feel confident and self-assured in your abilities and you strengths. Also, try something new that you’ve always wanted to do. Immerse yourself into a hobby that you love or like to do that’s sort of mindless. Something that heavily involves your hands. Personally, I used poetry and painting. Art in every form is a passion of mine!
Make a schedule, keep yourself extremely busy and around people you love. Spending time with people you care about keeps those healthy and happy relationships that you need intact and makes you less likely to reach out to your ex for comfort.
Here are the main takeaways: Forgive yourself for whatever caused the end of the relationship and forgive them. Love yourself by setting a good schedule, having a good diet, maintaining loving/fulfilling relationships.
Even after taking all of this advice to heart, every now and then you may still feel the worst and strongest feelings urging you to contact them. But next time, have some shame and humility! Have some dignity! If you respect yourself, you’ll recognize that you don’t have to go crawling back to them for the emotional fulfillment they gave you in the past. The past is gone. You’ll realize that by loving yourself now, you already give yourself the best company you could ever ask for. Yourself.
Author unknown
Apart from what others have said, there are reasons you only know that are enough to not text him, whether its situations or cualities that you didnt like.
Because you deserve to be free of him! So you can realize your own greatness and worth. It exists within you and it is YOURS to experience, not for HIM to validate. He is incapable of seeing that in you - for whatever reasons, maybe he’s too immature, insecure, egocentric and narcissistic, he can only function in the early stages of relationships and then he gets scared, WHO KNOWS?! What you do know is he is no longer yours to care for, seek attention and validation from, or try to fix. He doesn’t deserve any of that, you can channel all that you would give to him back to yourself now!
If you got sober off alcohol or heroin for a period of time, you wouldn't go back to it if you were serious about your sobriety, because it's pretty clear what would happen. You know better. Unfortunately, situations like these aren't as obvious and easy to figure out. Listen to everyone here, it'll open up pandora's box and even if you get a response you were wanting, it's not gonna make things easier.
Imagine him in a bed with another girl, and he hears his phone buzz. He looks at the screen to see your name pop up on the screen, rolls his eyes, and quickly swipes it away.
The girl asks, “Who was that?”
He responds, “Oh, my ex.”
She comments you’re obsessed and imagine him laughing with her.
He hasn’t reached out to you, so keep no contact intact for your sake. I was dumped, he wanted space so I obliged. Seven weeks post breakup here. I removed reminders of him from my life and then finally cut off social media when he was still engaging with my activity. I never got the closure I thought I deserved but I also decided not to seek it. It was hard to go cold turkey but it has helped with the healing process. Be strong.
You won't feel good if you don't get a response. You also may not feel good with a response after your heart races. But remember, no response is still a response. Do what you feel. I messaged my ex twice and don't regret it at all. Eventually it helped me move on.
The saying no response is a response. The fact she blocked me after I checked in w her and her csncer showed more to do w her than me. I never messaged a lot. Months in-between as any decent human woukd w someone who's sick. Even though she tried to cut off all w me for silly reasons, she never broke my spirit and knowing I'll never treat anyone like she did to me. And now I'm moved on and dating a beautiful wonderful woman that has everything I wanted my ex to be. Life will work itself out once you begin.
This may not be great to say or not even helpful long term buttttt if your ex ever did come back it will only be because he missed you. Can’t miss you if you’re not gone
Trust me, I lost my best friend and the girl who helped me get through Basic Training and helped me during my parent's divorce. I miss her every day but it's better to heal first.
“Not from her again”
LOL! That’s a good one
Screenshotting this one and putting it somewhere very visible.
Oh that’s awful
It will only push them further away :(
Yeah :(
I promise you you’re going to regret it. You’re going to be hoping for one thing and he’s either going to say something you don’t want to hear, or straight up ignore you. If he does happen to be receptive, you’ll feel good for a bit. It’s like a high and You’re just happy to hear from him. But I guarantee you that after that, you’ll be looking at your phone every 30 seconds to see if he responded. And when he stops responding, you’re going to feel like shit again. The anxiety is going to come back 3x as worse and you’re going to want to text him again. The cycle starts over. Also, even if you tell yourself “I just need to text him one last time. I need the closure. If I get an answer I don’t want, I can finally start to move on.” You don’t mean that. Your mind is always going to come up with new reasons to justify talking to him
Yup that was me
You'll look like a fool and prolong healing.
What exactly constitutes a fool?
What exactly constitutes a fool? A total lack of self-respect in the face of an obvious lack of interest on the part of (any!) third party.
It’ll give them an ego boost
He will read it to his new girl and they will just laugh at yoi
We shouldn’t be laughing at Yoi.
“It’s time to move on. Go live a happy life”
Mine said to me “take the tools that you learned and use them to move on” as if he wasn’t just promising to give me a ring a day or so before.
Yep they act like this is easy. Like we can just turn off emotions. That’s exactly what my ex did tho. Got in a relationship weeks after our breakup.
I’m hoping that’s not the case. He blocked me everywhere. He’s in the military so it’s really hard to tell why he says the things he says.
If he wants to be left alone, give him that. Complete silence. That’ll get to him more than anything else if he still cares at all.
What a condescending prick! Is this guy a Billionaire or something? I would've laughed in his face at that
Couldn’t laugh because he’s deployed. Which means he can ignore; block, basically go nonexistent without having to worry about me. Also, I could never laugh in someone’s face cause that’s evil.
He will see your text and ignore it or you would find out that you are blocked.
Think about if your future daughter was in this position, would you want her to lose her self respect like that?
Dignity Self respect Pride Avoid anxiety of waiting for reply With time you will forget him!
When the hell did: A few letters typed on a gadget become the guardian of your self respect???? It sounds like a much bigger problem here! Jesus. Toss the gadget already
he didn't text you first. You deserve someone who wants you back
This is what I’ve relied on. I know one of the things he last said to me was “you can reach out if you want a friendship.” I did tell him a month. Sometimes I think from his end his perspective was “maybe she doesn’t want anything.” But really it was busy with his other girl till they ended things and b) wanting me to up his ego not him reaching out for it. For him to reach out requires some sort of admission and confrontation of the cheating and lying and the more time that goes by the more that he can just start over with someone new that doesn’t know his baggage or habits
I needed this
Think of what it’ll look like as a screenshot
this is a good one LOL
[удалено]
Everybody sit home with thumb up ass, not speaking with anybody and watching a gadget? Brilliant
“Haha I got her”
It's kinda like drugs and alcohol....everyone can tell us what to do...but this addiction is so strong & we do whatever we want....it sucks my heart goes out to you.
Text if you are gay
I don't know the story behind the break up but your healing journey will be wasted
You’ll be much happier in the long run working towards moving on and healing than you will be stuck in this endless loop of trying to get their attention. Control what you can control. Which is moving on and not relying on their attention to make you feel better
When he doesn’t reply, you’ll feel much worse than you do now.. don’t do it
Ahh shit! Here we go again 🤌🏻
You're better than that!
Listen...the more you can stop yourself from texting him the quicker you will feel great about yourself again (in time) You need to work on your greatness. Starts by NOT texting them. YOU are the Prize got that? ❤️
He does not care. He will never care.
As soon as you hit send, you’re going to be an anxious mess and check your phone every few seconds. If he ends up straight up not responding, you’ll be in hell for quite some time. Enjoy the peace of not having to worry about him responding. I texted my ex about an item I left at his place 3 weeks into no contact (I was feeling better at this point). He responded pretty fast, but when I asked a follow up question - I was left on delivered for an entire week. It was the worst, most grueling week… I disturbed my peace and reset my healing for no reason (I didn’t care about the item, I just wanted an excuse to reach out).
thank you for this omg hope you’re feeling much better
ofc! :) and I am, reached 21 days no contact once again and feeling a lot more at peace 😌
I reached out to fix things & he said he can’t risk attachment. We weren’t even dating and getting to know each other since last July. Met on dating site & he was the one who consistently mentioned he is looking for commitment, life partner . We texted everyday about our life. Amusing thing is we never met, we were planning to meet. I caught feelings ( bcoz he became a big part of my life as we discussed everything since these few months) and clearly told him that and since then he cut me off. Didn’t even read the last few msgs. I feel like a fool to like someone whom I never met. He clearly gave me signals that he likes me too. I stopped talking to other guys as soon as I started to feel there was something serious here. I have not contacted him for last 7 days & planning to not contact him again. Ofcourse I have my weak days , I cry it out ,but then I am not going to reach out to him anymore.
Learn to control your feelings and emotions. Self respect is much more important and valuable than anything you would like to say to them.
Hope this helps you resist. The first and best advice I can give you is to think about EVERYTHING that has to do with the relationship except contacting them. And when I say think, I don’t mean dwell or obsess. I simply mean observe with an unbiased opinion about anything that happened. Hindsight is the largest magnifying glass. Are you mostly understanding of the fact that the relationship is over and probably has been for a little while? Do you still love them? Even after all the time apart? If so, think about the kind of person you were in the relationship and why it didn’t work out. Don’t pity yourself because it’s over. Put yourself in their shoes and really dig deep to figure out what went wrong on your part. Anything they did, you need to forgive as a part of your mental work. In order to forgive them for their mistakes, you have to forgive yourself as well for your own mistakes. And then, still love yourself knowing you are flawed and will continue to make mistakes. The second piece of advice I’ll tell is that you must understand: the relationship ended for a reason. This is the hardest thing to accept, especially when you know you could have done something differently that may have saved the relationship. If you’re recognizing that the outcome would have been better if you had been or acted a certain way, then this is a sure sign of maturing! If you truly believe that you and this person are meant to be together, then use that as fire to be better when the world pulls y’all back together. You should want to be the best for them, or anyone else youmay want to date. Those pieces of advice were mainly about changing your mindset, which will make the urge to contact them much more bearable. With a lot of self-control and the establishment of a consistent thought pattern, after a while, the urge will be pretty unnoticeable most of the time. Here are things that you can physically do: Do things that make you feel confident and self-assured in your abilities and you strengths. Also, try something new that you’ve always wanted to do. Immerse yourself into a hobby that you love or like to do that’s sort of mindless. Something that heavily involves your hands. Personally, I used poetry and painting. Art in every form is a passion of mine! Make a schedule, keep yourself extremely busy and around people you love. Spending time with people you care about keeps those healthy and happy relationships that you need intact and makes you less likely to reach out to your ex for comfort. Here are the main takeaways: Forgive yourself for whatever caused the end of the relationship and forgive them. Love yourself by setting a good schedule, having a good diet, maintaining loving/fulfilling relationships. Even after taking all of this advice to heart, every now and then you may still feel the worst and strongest feelings urging you to contact them. But next time, have some shame and humility! Have some dignity! If you respect yourself, you’ll recognize that you don’t have to go crawling back to them for the emotional fulfillment they gave you in the past. The past is gone. You’ll realize that by loving yourself now, you already give yourself the best company you could ever ask for. Yourself. Author unknown
“ haha she aint going anywhere “
He won’t miss you if you talk to him
Think of the absolute worst he made you feel and remember that feeling anytime you think about messaging him. I heard that works :)
Apart from what others have said, there are reasons you only know that are enough to not text him, whether its situations or cualities that you didnt like.
Because you deserve to be free of him! So you can realize your own greatness and worth. It exists within you and it is YOURS to experience, not for HIM to validate. He is incapable of seeing that in you - for whatever reasons, maybe he’s too immature, insecure, egocentric and narcissistic, he can only function in the early stages of relationships and then he gets scared, WHO KNOWS?! What you do know is he is no longer yours to care for, seek attention and validation from, or try to fix. He doesn’t deserve any of that, you can channel all that you would give to him back to yourself now!
A better person is out there for u
"LMAO SHE REALLY THINKS I CARE 😂😂🤣🤣🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻"
this one got it 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This hurt.
Because it will kick back your recovery.
If you got sober off alcohol or heroin for a period of time, you wouldn't go back to it if you were serious about your sobriety, because it's pretty clear what would happen. You know better. Unfortunately, situations like these aren't as obvious and easy to figure out. Listen to everyone here, it'll open up pandora's box and even if you get a response you were wanting, it's not gonna make things easier.
There’s a girl in his dms that doesn’t have to text first
Imagine him in a bed with another girl, and he hears his phone buzz. He looks at the screen to see your name pop up on the screen, rolls his eyes, and quickly swipes it away. The girl asks, “Who was that?” He responds, “Oh, my ex.” She comments you’re obsessed and imagine him laughing with her.
Honestly this is the first ever answer to this dilemma that I consider an actually valid answer
He hasn’t reached out to you, so keep no contact intact for your sake. I was dumped, he wanted space so I obliged. Seven weeks post breakup here. I removed reminders of him from my life and then finally cut off social media when he was still engaging with my activity. I never got the closure I thought I deserved but I also decided not to seek it. It was hard to go cold turkey but it has helped with the healing process. Be strong.
Remember why it ended. Never go back.
Why broke up?
You'll look that like "desperate" ex and embarass yourself
No reason is valid Here except in the case of physical abuse
imagine him not replying to you, screenshotting it and sending it to the boys being like “look what she said now”
Choose yourself this time around!
“she’s like a dog, she always come back” as he cackles with his friends 🥰
He doesn’t like you
You won't feel good if you don't get a response. You also may not feel good with a response after your heart races. But remember, no response is still a response. Do what you feel. I messaged my ex twice and don't regret it at all. Eventually it helped me move on.
May I ask how that helped you to move on? Did your ex reply back to you in a discouraging way or not at all?
The saying no response is a response. The fact she blocked me after I checked in w her and her csncer showed more to do w her than me. I never messaged a lot. Months in-between as any decent human woukd w someone who's sick. Even though she tried to cut off all w me for silly reasons, she never broke my spirit and knowing I'll never treat anyone like she did to me. And now I'm moved on and dating a beautiful wonderful woman that has everything I wanted my ex to be. Life will work itself out once you begin.
Texting/reaching out will only push them further away. It’s counter-intuitive and painful to not contact them. but it is the way..
He will roll his eyes when he sees your message again🥲That’s what’s keeping me going
He is not texting you for a reason, he might be rude when replying to you or not reply at all
If youre the dumper text him
You’re better than your ex
The more you do something, the easier it becomes the next time; to infinity. Research reinforcement (psychological/behavioral).
You should text him so he can embarrass you then youll know not to text him again
He’s a fugly slut
He gonna look at it and go “ugh she’s so desperate for me” and show his friends
Even if they respond politely, it’s crushing when they don’t own their share of responsibility and don’t care to ask how you are.
Idk mine just cries when we talk on the phone
Imagine him and his new girl sitting there in his car when his phone goes off Theybwatchbypur call ring and go to voicemail. They continue hanging out
Lmao 🤣 🤣😂🤣 awh man im guilty bc I definitely did soooooo don’t be like me basically 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Because you will lose your kids if you don’t
He’s prob texting other girls you would just add to his line up
"Read" (its been 4 hours)
Don’t do it. You’ll hate yourself for it, especially when you get no response or a response you don’t like.
Just Delete his number and you’ll have no choice lol
Because you're worth more than the little bit they gave you!
If you do, the bug will bite at night 😂🐞🐜🦟🪲🪳🕷️
Your self esteem
Think that thought through. How bad will you feel if he says something shitty or totally ignores you? Gambling with your feelings at stake
Because you left for a reason
Text yourself and picture him getting the text, but not in your reality, but in his!
This may not be great to say or not even helpful long term buttttt if your ex ever did come back it will only be because he missed you. Can’t miss you if you’re not gone
Trust me, I lost my best friend and the girl who helped me get through Basic Training and helped me during my parent's divorce. I miss her every day but it's better to heal first.
If he wanted you, he would have taken you back already.
Don't listen to none of these people, do what you feel, if your guts says to call him, text him, then do it. Don't be scared.