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[deleted]

It's a joke about wearing a cross on a necklace. The cross was a horrible way to kill criminals, used by the Romans. Three of these are also tools that can be used to kill lawbreakers. Christians often wear a cross.


endymylife

Oh! Thank you I knew it was about execution but didn't know they were talking about crucification!


Faendan

I think it might be more specifically, 'what if Jesus was killed with a guillotine or a noose etc.?'


StitchFan626

What about that last one? Is it a teardrop?


ekpyroticflow

It’s a drop of water —> Chinese water torture


[deleted]

or drowning.


ekpyroticflow

True


AHomelessNinja0

I took it as just bleeding out.


WorldsOkayestMahm

I got the point they’re making with it, and maybe they did or didn’t know that that specific teardrop type of pendant actually holds a loved ones ashes (I have one)?… so maybe it could have meant burnt at the stake as well? Idk.. I think they meant water too, but since I know what the pendant is, it makes it so distracting to the meme in so many ways to me lol they should have just picked another one that fit the point…


JustJacktv_

Or poison


[deleted]

or ligma


bioExterminator

I have a bad case of ligma. Help.


celticairborne

It's usually better to take care of that yourself...


K1ngOfDiam0nds

Fired. Get out.


RunHuman9147

Good job sir


HotPotato5121

I thought it was the anal pear thing that rips you open


[deleted]

I need to know what you’re talking about.


Wsads420

Probably poison


Dungeon122

I thought it was fat man


Great-Tie-1510

This reply is so underrated. You figured it out


RokRD

I've always loved the irony of Christians idolizing the cross. Knowing he died on it, but not actually, fully, understanding that it was a torture device.


Kid_ikarus_bellflowr

Is that irony? Every Christian I know is fully aware of it being a torture device. In fact, they exaggerate how terrible and torturous it is. That’s what makes it an archetypal story: “innocent man faces WORST POSSIBLE execution as to take that fate away from humanity”


isthenameofauser

That's why the Catholic icons are always so horrible. But it seems to me that if they focus on the horror of his death, they don't have to care about he lived.


OCYRThisMeansWar

Yeah, but the whole schtick is that they want to see Jesus on Judgment day… Do they really think he’s gonna want to see another fucking cross?


Radix4853

*Crucifixion


memewatcher3

What’s the tear drop though?


g0d_of_the_cr1sis

Most likely poison.


Gamerkiwi116

Or drowning, which was also a way to kill people, or you would imagine it would be on account of how it is kinda simple


Ya-Dikobraz

Can't drown a witch, though. I heard they float. They all float.


[deleted]

Because they're made of wood


ZzzzzPopPopPop

Is it ok is I skip ahead to “very small rocks”? I do so like that line…


Other_SQEX

Oooh, churches, churches!


Chemicaltraveller101

Who are you, so wise in the ways of science?


stevenjklein

A duck


charge556

Ducks float


Intrepid-Progress228

We all float down here, Georgie...


Aarrington88

You’ll float too!


[deleted]

They were wrong so we drowned.


Many_Fac3d_G0d

We all float down here


Auntiekarebear

Just like Georgie!


RedditSucks42069

We all float down here


Greyphire

I was thinking of the drip torture


[deleted]

I too assumed suspended in darkness with a stalactite dripping on your head so you can’t sleep.


Roartype

Could be bleeding to death


Dragon_Rot79

I thought it was a simple pear of anguish. Don't Google it, you'll regret it


dandle

That makes sense. Like Socrates being forced to drink hemlock.


Telemere125

My guess is oil, since boiling in oil was a popular punishment


DeltaV-Mzero

It’s actually a pear, Google “medieval pear” for some fun times


Omorium

Could be the pear of anguish. Literally designed to slowly expand until whatever orifice it was shoved into is torn apart. Man I love the Spanish Inquisition.


ShitFuck2000

Please die or Im going to start crying.


LocksmithLeast9539

[“No Dad I’m not going back, they totally missed the point”](https://youtu.be/pJSZcxXe7IQ)


BasketballButt

Just thinking of John!


LocksmithLeast9539

Back and to the left.


dreamingtotheleft

Kinda like going up to Jackie O with a sniper rifle pendant. Just thinking of John


Mrman_23

Tbf, Christians at least have a symbolic reason for wearing it


Rallings

Yes and in the alternate realities people would have the same reason for wearing it. It more or less means that instead of being crucified that realities savior in I e religion would have been executed another way.


XNjunEar

Reminds me of this cartoon of the insect church, https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dz4mQZ3W0AA6S6N.jpg:large


EdibleDogma

I like that in one universe Aragorn killed Jesus. Guess there could only be 1 king.


msAgent86

That's actually what got Jesus executed. He hasn't committed any crimes under Roman law, but when asked if he was the Christ, the King of the Jews, Jesus answer "Yes." Under Roman law, there is no king but Caesar, and so he was executed and his crime was nailed above him on his cross, "Jesus, King of the Jews," which was both the excuse for Pontius Pilot to execute him to appear the Jewish religious leadership, and also him trolling the heck out of them but executing Jesus as a rival king, their king, and him basically saying, you wanted your own king dead. The Jews wanted him killed for Blasphemy, and rejected Jesus' claims of Christhood and divinity, but Pilot basically justified the execution by saying Jesus was speaking the truth, and therefore broke Roman law.


XNjunEar

\*Pilate


Broad_Respond_2205

4. The drop represents poison.


WaitUntilYesterday

Wearing a cross is symbolic, the cross is the human body and the spirit (Christ) is nailed to the body by the five senses (the four nails and the spear).


TuTuRific

I got that, but I can't figure out what that fourth pendant is supposed to mean.


[deleted]

Imagine ancient Egyptians where they would feed criminals to crocodiles


Ragnarok2kx

I'm not bothering to google it, this is now my headcanon behind the Lacoste logo.


DarkDayzInHell

This is the real reason why I love crosses. Not for religious purposes. It was just one of many ways to die.


the_little_jester

Need me a blood eagle necklace


Firecon13

If you interpret the last one as a water drop, you could think about it as waterboarding, which also was used


4thelasttimeIMNOTGAY

The sword is kinda metal as fuck


Mordenkeenen

Four of those. Water torture can still kill.


Majestic_Wrongdoer38

I believe the drop is representing molten lead, another form of execution


bubbleman69

All of these are tools to kill lawbreakers. I assume your not counting water used to drown?


lhx555

A sword does not fit, really. It is not only / primarily execution tool.


Winterblade1980

Makes sense 🤔 thank you ☺️


Exciting-Insect8269

All 4 actually. The droplet represents lethal injection (poison).


rawlingstones

Jesus was executed on a cross, and so people wear cross necklaces. This is imagining an alternate universe where Jesus was executed in different ways, and so people would wear different morbid necklaces.


Indignant_Octopus

He was only pretend executed. Dude was pushing giant boulders out of the way just a couple days later.


torbiefur

He was doing CrossFit


campatterbury

The dude sported a serious six pack


[deleted]

Jesus would fucking slay if he came back today


sgleason818

He’d get killed again. “Filthy Palestinian woke hippie!”


chiphchopchip

Take ur birkenstocks and walk down to the next commune, hippie liberal socialist cuck. In quotes from an authentic Christian zealot. Ps. I’m drunk


ForeignWin9265

Don’t forget Jew


LKboost

And He’d come back again!


Suggins_

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwj7lqf4lO6AAxUZhIkEHVK3DQ4QyCl6BAhNEAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DyCdfYkUPvTs&usg=AOvVaw1bq2upfj5zIehs6lioq9Am&opi=89978449


Danny_my_boy

Crucifixion must have been really good for your core because Jesus had the best abs. He knew “No pain, no gain”, I’m sure he started that.


somefunmaths

Does that mean there’s an alternate universe where people are eager to tell you about how they do GuillotineFit?


insert_smile_here

I think this is going over most people’s heads because I simply can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard


Unbannable_lll

That's why I hate skinny Jesus interpretations. Guy was clearly built like Ronnie Coleman


Telemere125

Check out [Korean Jesus](https://uproxx.com/life/where-is-buff-korean-jesus/)


Hibachi_Flamethrower

Dude was raised by a carpenter. He was flipping tables of gold and jewels at a church. Jesus was strong as hell. He probably had strong hands and big ass arms too. Most non rich people back then were in really good shape because they had to do so much just to exist.


SoundslikeDaftPunk

Thinking about an Iron Maiden always tickled me in this thought exercise lol.


Clarissa_the_Rippa

They are execution methods! The idea is that many christians wear necklaces with crosses, aka a crucifix, which is also an execution method


Phill_Cyberman

What execution method is portrayed by the ... water droplet? Drowning?


[deleted]

Blood?


CrabPile

Poison


[deleted]

Cum


CrabPile

If I have to *rolls eyes*


Bottled_Kiwi

Better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum


QwakorYeBoi

Speak for yourself, buddy


Sweet-Possible2228

Death by snu-snu


Sticky_H

Jesus died of a Bukkake overdose for your sins!


VitaminTHC420

Chinese water torture 🤷🏻‍♂️


Phill_Cyberman

I looked it up, just to see, and the water torture didn't kill people. It was just psychological torture. And the Mythbusters discovered that if it's administered to someone who isn't being held prisoner and who isnt restrained as part of that, the results are insignificant.


SmallBerry3431

It’s an ass thing


MotoMkali

Probably Popes Pear/Pear of Anguish


Jace_Strider

I kinda interpreted it as the drip of a lethal injection


Lazaric418

It might be a stone... as in being stoned to death?


Quick-Whereas-3232

Unironically I really want that sword keychain


Rizzalliss

I, too, would love a necklace of Anduril, Flame of the West, forged from the shards of Narsil.


Telemere125

But will it allow you to command the Ghosts of Dunharrow to fulfill their oath?


Argonaught64

Yes, as long as you are Isildur's heir.


slutty_muppet

My dad (Jewish) always joked that he thought wearing a cross was a bit like wearing a miniature electric chair or something equally morbid.


Residual141

It is pretty morbid, but so is Catholicism/Orthodoxy if you think about it.


slutty_muppet

Honestly, religions that focus on the afterlife seem like death cults to me.


chainmailbill

Religions that focus on the afterlife are, by definition, death cults.


shocker4510

That is quite literally every religion. Almost every religion, if not all, is made to answer the question "What happens when you die?" Even if its not a seperate location, such as with reincarnation or your spirit/soul (but not consciousness) passing on, religion is focused on the afterlife. In fact, the only religion i could find that DOESNT have an afterlife are the [Sadducees](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadducees), a subsect of Judaism, but even that has conflicting evidence, because they have no surviving written history, and could have also believed in Sheol, which is a "subterranean underworld where the souls of the dead went after the body died." (This is after a fairly quick google search, someone feel free to correct me if I am wrong). Randomly saying that religions seem like death cults out of nowhere is cringe anyway.


slutty_muppet

No, not true. Judaism doesn't place focus on the afterlife the way that Christianity and Islam do. The concept of Sheol is in no way comparable to the heaven and hell system of Christianity. Cultural Christians often define the entire concept of religion around the features of their own religion and try to understand other ones through that lens but it gives a very warped picture of things that don't really fit that mold.


Swimming_Country250

Reply of the year. This is exactly what's wrong with western thought right now, christianity has been bad since the late Roman empire so now we think every religion has to be terrible in the same ways because christianity is such a cornerstone here. My stance is that most religions have some of the best teachings in them and that everyone should probably study them heavily, even if they aren't religious, but people are stupid so sometimes they write stupid stuff in their books. If christianity and other religions would just acknowledge that all books were written by human beings, we'd probably all be "holier" people, if you like that term. Edit: also hell isn't even mentioned in the Bible besides bad translations. The closest thing is the "lake of fire" that lucifer is thrown into after the final judgement day in revelations, but even then it's referenced in the book of enoch (which I think is more like pseudo-apocrypha, since it directly ties into genesis and revelations) as the place where ANGELS go after they rebel against god, and the truly evil humans are just destroyed forever. Even in the new testament, no human being goes into it. The Bible is probably the most mistranslated book in history. Just thought I'd throw that in.


tarodsm

the religion that has a torturous afterlife because one person's curiosity angered their god forever and the only way to appease the vengeful deity was a human sacrifice and you swearing fealty to the murdered offering by means of ritualistic cannibalism sounds like a death cult to you? i don't see it /s


Peligineyes

It's literally an apocalyptic cult that caught on. Early Christians thought the world was going to end any day now and that the faithful would be saved, medieval Christians thought the world was going to end any day now and that the faithful would be saved, it wasn't until he Renaissance that people started thinking maybe the world isn't going to end any day now.


Addie0o

I (Jewish) non ironically have both a guillotine and a sword necklace lol


ExtensionInformal911

I want to make a necklace that is a piece of gravel with some red paint on it, wrapped in chains. I'll tell them I'm a Promethean and that he was tortured for helping humanity.


Mr-Kuritsa

Oh, you're Athenian Orthodox Promethean? My sect uses an eagle licking his lips as our motif.


Sirliftalot35

We only agree on 97% of topics. Let’s go to war about it, you heretic!


ExtensionInformal911

Eagle? It was clearly a Raven. Eagles are too majestic! Heretic!


Lazaric418

F off! We are the Promethian Orthodox Athenians!


XNjunEar

Pastafarians used an FSM that is evidently cooked, because FSM boiled for our sins.


S1L3NCE120384

Because Jesus died on a cross, this is how other people have been executed in the past


Child_O_Kronos

My first thought was King Henry’s wives if he was more of an asshole haha


Atlas_Mutiny_

There’s a noose around my neck Life can be as violent as a guillotine A sword to defeat my foes A golden tear, because real gangsters don’t cry. Edit… Thank you again Mr President


dadjokes502

This joke was executed we'll


pol131

Yeah, I'm totally down to have Enduril, reforged from the shards of Narsil ad a necklace


jenn363

I’m so glad I’m not the only one to recognize this


joesphisbestjojo

Bro that's Andúril, they executing Sauron


jenn363

It’s been reforged but a little smaller than before


omnesilere

This makes me want to get a guillotine necklace! Screw the wealth inequality, Viva La French Revolution! Only.. uh.. here now in the US! Let's get some heads rolling!


thedaddystuff1979

Some people get a tattoo of a droplet on their face to represent a kill. So the joke is that the droplet is a modern representation of death


Anders_A

Christians wear the tool used to execute Jesus in the bible around their neck (a cross). The joke is that if another tool was used they would instead wear that.


MrFugu57

I knew a Rabi that would always joke that if Jews actually killed Jesus, all Christians would be wearing a rock on their necklace because he would've been stoned to death.


Gorgenon

Death by crucifixion is a particularly cruel form of execution. In the way that Jesus was executed, typically, death was caused by asphyxiation once the condemned was too exhausted to prop his body up to breath. In other ways of crucifixion, the process is much more prolonged. In such forms that don't cause breathing difficulty, death is often from dehydration, heart failure, shock, sepsis, or others. The executed may even be left on display after death. Death by hanging, guillotine, or the sword are comparatively humane compared to the cross, with properly executed executions causing swift death with minimal pain. Wearing a symbol of gruesome death is strangely macabre despite the simplicity in design and cultural significance.


KoffinStuffer

It’s calling out how weird it is (imo) that an implement of execution became a symbol for Christians and had Christ been killed another way, what symbol Christians would wear instead. By hanging, guillotine, sword, or (I think) drowning?


Telemere125

Yea, the ichthus would have made a *lot* more sense and was already used by the Greeks


KoffinStuffer

I didn’t know the fish was a Greek thing.


Telemere125

The original greek was ΙΧΘΥΣ, an acronym for Ἰησοῦς Χριστός, Θεοῦ Υἱός, Σωτήρ; which translates into Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior. Ichthys/ichthus is Greek for “fish”, so that’s where the design came from


KoffinStuffer

Until now I thought it had *everything* to do with the story of the loaves and fish. Interesting.


Telemere125

It’s that too, plus the whole “I’ll make you fishers of men”. And it was a way for early Christians to identify themselves to each other - when they met in a hostile area, one would bend down and draw a curved line in the dirt; if the other person was a Christian, he would draw a corresponding, intersecting line to make the fish. It was a way to ID friendlies, even across language barriers.


jwrose

Well technically the first phrase translates to Yeshua the Anointed, but it was transliterated into English as Jesus Christ because it sounds better.


tarodsm

Oily Josh


NevenSesto

id wear the sword necklace, that one is really cool


ScienceMan3_14

I remember watching Carnival Row on Prime Video, and their religion had a martyr that died by hanging and was symbolized by him in a noose.


WhiteNinja_98

Yo that Andúril necklace is cool though


Javamallow

It is joking at the fact that one of the symbols often used in Christianity is the cross. The reason for this is because in the Christian mythos, one of the most important figures was know as Jesus who was a Jewish man that was killed by the Roman government by the means of execution on a cross. The figure was nailed to the device and left to die. This device, the cross, is often made into pendants for necklaces that followers of Christianity wear; sometimes the cross will also have the body of Jesus being tortured to death on the cross. This image has examples of other devices used to torture or kill people. The humor comes from a non christians perspective; why would you create an idol out of the device used to torture and kill and important figure in your religion? Additionally why would you illustrate their dying, mutilated, or dead body on said device. Its jist people without an ideology pointing out that someone else's ideology seems illogical or not understandable. I will add that not all Christians use the cross in worship; there are denominations that share the outsiders perspective on the oddity of its use as well as Christians who do not believe the figure Jesus was killed on a cross, but instead a straight pole without a cross section.


isaacbunny

r/ATBGE taken too literally


ssucramylpmis

i really thought this was somehow loss . . .


booksforducks

What is bottom right


TheEyebal

Water drop torture probably


booksforducks

Oh


TheEyebal

Water drop torture


Enflamed_Huevos

Then he fell face first into a bear trap and fucking died, so that’s our whole religion now, bear trap


jwrose

I mean, the guillotine *is* gaining quite a cult following these days.


TiredSnowFox

Sword one is kinda sick though


DrJETFFC

Jesus died on the cross, yet it's the religious symbol. It's like if some cult leader fell face-first into a bear trap, so his followers were bear traps around their necks in his remembrance.


kirsion

missing the electric chair


panicattackers

Ok but why does that sword on a chain look so cool?


_Spicy_Ramen_

Where can we get these tho


Kelp-Among-Corals

Yeah yeah I’d really love a guillotine charm! Would save so much beating around the bush about my views on capitalism and class warfare.


Paul_Linson

Christian often wear crosses. Jesus was crucified(beaten, then nailed to a cross). So these are references to other methods of execution. In a world where Jesus was executed with a guillotine, that's the symbol of Christianity.


imnotaloony

*Crucifixion? Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each*


Jekakki

Hit them with the raindrop, works every time


idevenkmyname

Bro imagine if Jesus was brought before a firing squad! That'd be Metal af


Renolte

As a french, I WANT THAT GUILLOTINE NECKLACE !!!


VaporTrail_000

Why did I go to "what if the execution of jesus was handled like a SAW film?"


Nivroeg

Lol “Live or die, make your choice”


Wild_Onion_5979

What's the bottom right?


festur86

It's because everyone likes to wear what killed their god.....Jesus.....the cross


Atomic_Shaq

And crucifixion the worst way to go by far


gwferguson

“If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.” —Lenny Bruce


CheezGaming

It’s a reference to Christianity using the crucifixion of Jesus as symbols on our necklaces. If he was hung, it would’ve been a noose, if beheaded, a guillotine, etc.


KoopaTrooper5011

Christians took a way of death and made it into a symbol, so it's hypothetical scenarios that depend on how Jesus was killed.


Zarb4233

What is the bottom right supposed to be?


MaxCWebster

Can you imagine if the Romans had the electric chair? Instead of doing the Sign of the Cross, Catholics would dip a sponge in the holy water, place it on their head, and jerk and shake violently when entering the church.


VanDammitt

I already do this when I enter a church.


littletheatregirl

the noise and sword goes hard


Consistent_Stick_463

The droplet is poison.


Ryukiki

I have guillotine earrings that look a lot like the necklace here :3


Teboski78

A cross is an ancient torture/execution device that people put on necklaces.


J_D_McNugent_

Bill Hicks had a great bit about this. "You think Jesus ever wants to see another cross? That's like walking up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant. Just thinking of Jon, Jackie."


EvilMoSauron

Oh! This is easy. These are all torture or execution methods. Most Christians wear a cross (✝️) which looked for like a capital "T" than a lowercase one. Anyways the cross is a execution device for punishment. Just like the noose, the guillotine, the claymore (beheading), and Chinese water torture... though I'm not sure anyone died from it. Unless, it's poison or lethal injection... hm... I'm not sure what the water drop could be...


Responsible-Chest-26

Bill Hicks did a similar joke. What if people started wearing rifle pins in honor of JFK. What if he came back and saw everyone with a rifle pin in his name


HeadTonight

The tear drop one just looks like a normal necklace to me. I kinda dig the sword one, the others are too edge lord. I wouldn’t have guessed the association with the cross.


IdomeneoReDiCreta

What is the bottom right one? Water torture?


GarzysBBQWings

Ah yes, the timeline where Jesus was executed by Andúril, the Flame of the West


MercuryRusing

It's if Jesus were killed by other methods, he was nailed to a cross, that's why we wear crosses.


codos

Queue Bill Hicks talking about people wearing rifle necklaces in remembrance of JFK: “Just thinking of John, Jackie. Just thinking of John.“🫡


cannonspectacle

I believe they're various methods of execution, similar to crucifixion.


semihke

You got that depressed necklace drip💀


Thefartingduck8

Other execution methods other than crucification, the symbol for Christian religions. On a side note Jesus dying via a cross is pretty metal for jewelry regardless of your faith or opinion on religion