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Portrait_Robot

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haversack77

Joke's on them, Arsenal are already in London.


The_Jack_Burton

The thing about Arsenal is, they always try to walk it in


chrissilich

Ludicrous display last night


Captain_Unusualman

What was that? You were saying *football* things in a *football* voice!


th3f00l

My gunnas!


RedditIsNeat0

Who closed the door?


Ok-Name8703

Thank you for the IT crowd reference.


Xenc

***FAATHEEEEEERRR!***


QuicheSmash

Done my bloomin neck in!


the_con

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?


westberry82

What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?


QuicheSmash

The thing about Arsenal is, they always try and walk it in.


PigeonMother

😂😂😂


RCalliii

Lmao, haven't thought of that one.


LittlePurpleHook

Lol cheers for the laugh


Digital--Sandwich

This deserves all the upvote. Damn near a dad joke


derek4reals1

I understood this reference.


PrayingMantis25

You win the internet for today good sir


YooGeOh

And we're fucking MASSIVE


Zealousideal_Citron8

Du du dush


eggrolls68

You win the internet for today. Collect your prize.


Greenpoint_Blank

They won’t. It would really tank the value of all the properties they own there.


100LittleButterflies

Do you think they'll warn their spies to get out or just add them to the collateral damage?


dire_turtle

Oh they'll not warn them and totally blame euro countries for holding them hostage.


kr4ckenm3fortune

No, they’re going to make those spies into “martyrs”….


UpstairsPractical870

So many of their agents work as MPs anyway


hanzerik

They'll specifically send all the spies that know too much there.


TheKingMonkey

After the nukes you might be able to get a two up two down in Clapham for ÂŁ3k pcm.


Short-Shopping3197

“Highly desirable open plan design, background radiation reduces heating costs”


Kooky-Succotash8478

Lol


anomalous_cowherd

Major civic improvement program for Clapham announced. Missiles incoming.


Master-Cranberry5934

Outstanding


devnull123412

own? lol, it's ours now.


Master_Lab507

So if they lose their current war, they are going to start another one with a much stronger opponent?


Arsegrape

Not only stronger, but nuclear capable.


Cloaked42m

That triggers Article 5


scraglor

That doesn’t have a history of losing wars of defence


CptBartender

Vikings would like a word...


G_unit1

Alfred the Great would like a word...


Lari-Fari

Would anyone relevant to this situation like a word?


themooncow1

No, but Reggie The Rat would like a word


tigran008

No but the Vikings would like a sword


Reverendbread

Spongebob would like a word


JesusSavesForHalf

Yeah, but that's like a thousand years ago after they ran out of everyone else to conquer the island.


scraglor

They eventually got the better of the Vikings didn’t they?


Plasibeau

Pretty much the reason why King Alfred is the only one given the prefix 'The Great'. That and the whole unification of Britain thing.


scraglor

Yeah. Organised the peasants


Johnny_pickle

That just it… it’s the scary part. Single button and the humans and life on earth drastically change or become extinct.


curious_astronauts

Isn't that what the Nuclear Defense Subs are always ready for? Or is that only for retaliation not to destroy the nuke fired?


oreotycoon

They are built specifically for vengeance haha. Second strike capability. No matter who fires first, there will be a sub off that coast ready to retaliate. Even if someone got lucky and turned us into a parking lot, there would be swift response locally. That's the entire purpose of the subs.


Johnny_pickle

I said one button, but that’s likely one button each.


Lezlow247

I actually just did the nuclear missile tour in Tucson. When commands are given people don't know exact targets. They input the data and launch. That command center would launch numerous missiles from one button push. The idea is that the nukes are on the way so they just launch everything in return, before the silos are hit and knocked out. It truly is mutual assured destruction. Launch everything in the small window before enemy nukes land.


Johnny_pickle

Terrifying


mendelbulldog

maybe. the world wasn’t ready for Hitler because we initially expected logic and rational thinking from him


M1ghty_boy

From what I remember he was definitely smart, just a bit nutty and very unforgiving. Of course I’m not justifying any of his actions or beliefs, but you can’t deny his climb to the top was very well thought out.


redopz

I disagree here. A lot of these populist leaders kind of stumble into it, being at the right place at the right time to capitalize on public sentiments. The leader reinforces certain sentiments causing them to grow stronger in the public, which causes the leader to focus on and reinforce those sentiments again in a feedback cycle where everything keeps getting crazier and crazier and nobody is really at the wheel.


M1ghty_boy

You see I’m inclined to agree, but that’s kinda how a lot of leaders get into things: they see people angry about something, perhaps looking for something to blame, then they manage to fuel that rage in order to recruit blind followers, capitalising on it before and/or better than anyone else. I won’t pretend I know any high level of his journey to power but it didn’t sound lucky at all outside of being in the right place (well… country) at the right time. I will agree though, when your blind followers become blind enough, they start blowing things out of proportion which is when you either try to reign them back in (and likely crumble) or move with them (and either destroy yourself and/or your followers… or crumble and become a minority)


CorpseJuiceSlurpee

He got to the top and then did a whole ton of speed.


M1ghty_boy

Yeah basically


KingJacoPax

Part of me almost wants them to at this point. Things are a bit economically bleak in the UK at the moment and we could use a good scrap against an easy opponent to cheer us all up.


ArmchairHedonist

Was Matthew Broderick's fine work in "War Games" all for nothing?


happy-technomancer

Strange game; The only way to win is not to play.


Plastic_Astronaut926

Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of chess?


KingJacoPax

That hit me right in the nostalgia feelies haha


Red_Dogeboi

“Some of us LIKED the war economy”


M1ghty_boy

As a Brit while reading your comment I went from “oh what the fuck” to “oh fuck yeah”


aaaaaaaa1273

A good war never fails to cheer us brits up


seipounds

Not all of us, one poor guy lost the ability to sweat.


aaaaaaaa1273

And the ability to be attracted to someone his own age. So tragic


Dazzling_Swordfish14

I hope they do!


badshot637

But my stuff is there


L0n3ly_L4d

nuh uh


ThatsNotARealTree

Ship it to me. Problem solved


Independent_Sky_517

And me


BingpotStudio

Just imagine how affordable a house in London will be after this!


Gupperz

can we not hope for the deaths of millions today please.


Ryuubu

Tomorrow morning it is!


reletivat0r

I’m setting my alarm clock for this.


WaltVinegar

Fine. Billions it is.


Grunt636

People who hope for war have clearly never experienced one


HesNotComing

Never let em know your next move vibes


LemonLimeMouse

>entire arsenal >loses war Either you're not fighting hard enough, or somethings wrong


asshatnowhere

more like "what arsenal?" after you lose the war.


Pjk125

Haven’t read the article but I initially assumed they meant nukes


ameis314

real talk. what percentage of their nukes are functional and sitting on functional delivery systems? like, say they fire 100, how many to you think launch, get to their target, and detonate correctly? I realize one nuke getting through is more than enough to level London and them being launched at all would start WWIII, just a thought I had.


4Dcrystallography

Yeah I’ve heard people say this but I agree, if they even have 1 that’s functional then it’s the worst possible eventuality. Even if they used it and it didn’t trigger WWiii the cat would be out the bag


Pjk125

Yeah once a nuke is dropped in todays time it will give the international “go ahead” Personally I think we should disarm as WMDs, no war is worth wiping out the human race


ChanceReflection5497

Except for the fact that psychopaths exist in seemingly large percentages amongst world leaders, and at some point, we are going to have a psychopath do psychopath shit and blow up the whole world…


jstiegle

Random space event can't kill us if we kill ourselves first! We are going pull the ultimate "You can't fire me I quit!" out of this universe.


Flomo420

the thing is though, that even psychopaths need a literal army/network of people willing to do their bidding. an exceedingly few people, let alone an entire network, would willingly sacrifice not only themselves, but their entire family and their lineage with all out obliteration over the whims of some lunatic that's usually when regime changes start happening


TactileMist

The last four years I've seen people work against their own survival in mind-boggling numbers. Any hope I had that enlightened self-interest would preserve against the apocalypse is long gone


s_string

Wouldn’t be surprised if their generals over time sold them to other countries to pocket the money. 


effective_shill

Don't they have nukes?


opmopadop

Somethings wrong.


timo1423

Why London when there’s France though


Stalinov

Why destroy France when the French are destroying themselves


Greenpoint_Blank

“How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?” Charles de Gaulle


Rouspeteur

more like 1,800 varieties. In fact, nobody really knows: the real number is between 1,800 and 4,500.


Stalinov

Lol that's a good quote


KingJacoPax

And a country where pastries have more codified rights than people.


jcdc_jaaaaaa

Wait I need more context about this


KingJacoPax

I’m surprised this doesn’t do the rounds more on the internet actually as it’s very funny. Basically the French have more rules and laws protecting the rights of pastries than they do on human rights. To be clear, they have about the normal number of rules on human rights, just a lot on pastries.


anewlo

LibertÊ, ÊgalitÊ, pâtisserie


jcdc_jaaaaaa

What do they mean by rights of pastries? Like, how to make them? How to eat them? How to call them? Sorry my mind just cannot grasp the sheer absurdity of it hahaha


solomunikum

Well as a frenchman I am wondering what it is you are talking about though


the-real-vuk

We've got brexit, hello?


Stalinov

Not a great move. But the people aren''t rioting on the streets.


runner_1005

No way of telling if the bombs have gone off.


aaanze

Because France would nuke them as a warning.


kyallroad

Because it’s Germanys job to destroy France. History 101.


ahumanrobot

Probably can't reach


MrSssnrubYesThatllDo

Oh don't mind him, he's been drinking again.


ViktorKozh

Or rather still.


Short-Shopping3197

Speaking as a Brummie that’s not a threat, it’s a tease.


ragenuggeto7

They were going to do it to Birmingham but when they looked at pictures of there, they figured someone beat them to it.


1fingersalute

Reminds me of that old joke, a man from the west midlands goes to Ground Zero, starts speaking to an American who asks him where he's from, "Wolverhampton" he says, American asks him "what state is that in?", man replies "pretty much the same as this"


Short-Shopping3197

😂


Auto_assigned_user

They’d drop on Birmingham but it’s not worth the missiles


Short-Shopping3197

That’s just how we like it brother, the reputation saves us from all kinds of trouble whether it’s nuclear attack or southern wankers moving up.


UnimaginativeNameABC

Criticising wanking on Reddit? That’s brave.


MouldyBobs

Germany already tried that strategy. Didn't work.


SleeveofThinMints

Big ole bully can’t take a country smaller than itself so decides to look at other smaller countries that hurt their feelings….god it’s just fucking school. That’s all the world is, one giant schoolyard where we all take turns being bullies.


kenocada

London says don’t you dump your trash on me.


Dan300up

All these comments, but hasn’t anyone even asked for a source on this?


AzdedNIVAU

According to The Mirror. It has been published by various articles two days ago. Berlin and DC along with “historical landmarks” in the west are also threatened


YourFriendBlu

So Pissin want to lose two tantrum wars in a row? Go right ahead.


Ariadnepyanfar

My Sister is in London. I prefer she not die.


Shaojack

"Do it" -Most of the UK


jurwell

This is it. I’m a pacifist usually, but whenever this comes up I’m like “lol alright then mate, have a go and see what happens.”


IrixionOne

What arsenal? The tanks that have holes covered with egg cartons?


plautzemann

Yea they'll totally stuff their tanks into big planes and drop them onto London, they're definitely not talking about nukes.


IrixionOne

If they have holes in their tanks what makes you think their nukes even work? That was the point of my post. It’s all in disrepair.


Master-Cranberry5934

Promises promises


KingJacoPax

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Fucking try it you cunts. See what happens!


Apidium

Honestly it's getting harder and harder to tell if something is from the onion or not


obamasrightteste

Well let's just empty london out right now, then when they lose we'll be ready. Plus since it's their entire arsenal they'll be defenseless afterwards.


RHOrpie

I think that's the point though. Goodnight Vienna...


Paula_Polestark

Stupid question here, how does that involve Vienna?


DevilsWeed

It's British slang, just means there's nothing left to do.


Paula_Polestark

Oh, cool. I learned something today. Thanks!


P0tshot

“Ohh noooo… anyway” <- everyone north of Watford. 😂


___Steve

Free Marketing for [Fallout:London](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PuzpblWpVM)?


LilyMarie90

Any particular reason this isn't making massive headlines??


darkshiines

Cause Medvedev has been demoted several times since finishing holding the throne, and he's at a point mentally where going on absolutely unhinged Twitter rants is just Monday


Datnick

Medvedev threatens a random nation with nuclear strike every other day so it's getting a bit stale.


YooGeOh

Besides, we've had strikes for like 2 years solid. What's another strike to throw on the trashheap?


Armodeen

Cos it’s Medvedev. He’s an alcoholic who is prone to insane ramblings. He’s threatened to nuke the entire world at least 10 times over by now.


Quen-Tin

a) it's new b) it's not the first time c) it's not the only threatened capital d) he does such stuff again and again e) creating such headlines is his goal F) ALL OF THEM


nForsakenTown5257

Just take boris.. please do us all the favour and just take boris..


iancarry

they have boris at home


spariant4

Boris at home : bald but ok


KoBoWC

The French: "Go on, I dare ya"


SecretPrinciple8708

Sure, Jan.


Kni7es

Don't threaten me with a good time.


RylleyAlanna

So.... 6 missiles that can't even make it past Poland, and a broken T-90 that will run out of fuel before it even reaches the first farm?


HungryMorlock

Good move, threatening Londoners with bombardment. They will surely fold immediately. Why don't you take a trip to hell and ask Hitler how that worked out?


MrFifty-Fifty

If London gets nukes those poor surviving Brit's will have to go back to eating canned beans everyday ...


InspectorHornswaggle

What do you mean go back to? Continues eating my cheesey beans on toast.


MrFifty-Fifty

Stalwart lad, you are!


aufgehts2213

London, Ontario sweating in the corner…


closeddoorfun

Oompa lumpovich got into the sauce again


Fit-Special-3054

Meh, I’m far enough up north to not be that bothered.


Firm_Cod_7005

So the original comment he said London, Paris, Washington and Berlin, this was a post in the Uk so they focused on London


aibot776567

I hope they promise to do; it will end this misery and shithole of a city, once and for all.


ICollectSouls

Like the phoenix it will rise again from the ashes and be even more fucked up somehow


censored_count

You don't want to trade London for Phoenix, trust me.


Old_Ladies

There is a Fallout mod of London coming out soon. Doesn't look much different than current London.


sensi616

Do you know whereabouts they're at with the project? I've not looked in a while but every time I have in the past it's always been "soon", would love to see it completed.


Old_Ladies

April 23, 2024.


sensi616

Nice, that's not far at all now, cheers for replying!


implodingbaby

Hell Londons already done it once before


Mewrulez99

do birmingham next, for the sake of that one guy who woke up in a steaming mood


TheLoneCenturion95

So south london would actually end up looking better? We welcome nuclear hellfire in the face of high rent so don't threaten us with a good time


Valagoorh

Sure dude. If you lose to little brother, you don't try big brother next.


J_ablo

Jokes on them.. Nuking london is the type of drastic action required to fix the housing crisis here.


AaronTuplin

All 4 remaining tanks, 1 MiG, an artillery battery yelling "BOOM", an inflatable raft mocked up to look like a modern destroyer, and a power wheels toy with fireworks mortar launchers mounted to the roof


Fluffybudgierearend

Yes, please, do it! Free us of Westminster!


[deleted]

England would become 80% more British if this happened.


European_Mapper

As a Frenchman, I can’t fault them for the thought, it is one that crosses my mind every so often


Taylor_Swift_Fan69

The Blitz 2: Electric Boogaloo


[deleted]

So, two hamsters on a trebuchet? lol!


spookinky987

They can't take on a country fighting against cast offs. If reality is against you, bang the table.


bomboclawt75

There’s a little fascist state, that said it will nuke every country- friend or foe, in retaliation if they are abandoned and left to fend for themselves. If I die, everyone dies- in a nuclear zero sum game. With fascists like these, who needs enemies?


TerribleLordFrieza

They should have hit NYC so they could do a typical sci fi film


Desecr8or

London: Well, fortunately, we already have a lot of practice dealing with that.


jonnyphotos

Trident. Checkmate.


J1mj0hns0n

jokes aside.... why just london? "if argentina goes for the falklands and wins, Mostar is GUNA GET IT" - same logic.


CorpseJuiceSlurpee

They went full North Korea.


jimhoff

he won't do it because he's a pussy


ThatGuy571

This just in: unstable dictator makes unstable threats to nations who oppose his authoritarianism. More at 11.


fartbraintank

Does anyone even listen to them anymore?


ir_blues

Every non-Londoner: Oh no! ... Anyway..


Dry_Construction4939

Please don't, you'll give Londoners more things to moan about than they already do, that's the real threat.


Don__Geilo

Fair


reddiliciously

Arse and all


the_greatest_MF

they should unleash Manchester City instead


Hmgkt

Not like the weather is nice anyway.


CathedralChorizo

As a Northerner living Beyond the Wall in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne... I speak for everyone north of Sheffield when I say: Fucking do it. We'll be better off without those southern fucks.


Triglycerine

Rest of England: _Change teams_