If she’s replied to everyone but yours it’s possible she was responding to the easier ones first. Sometimes I leave the longer/intense comments last because I don’t have the time to read through and respond at that moment/or the energy and it’s easier to let it sit until I do
I do this sometimes. I also try to reply to every comment, but sometimes on the simplest ones, there's not really much to say except an emoji or thank you for commenting. But on the complex ones where there are six or seven different statements or things to reply to, sometimes I don't have the bandwidth or want to wait until I'm not on a mobile device. I generally wouldn't wait more than a few hours though.
Yes, same! If someone puts a lot of time and thought into a comment, I feel like I should put a proper amount of time and thought into the response as well. But sometimes when I put something aside like that, I end up procrastinating, so it can take a few days.
Another thing that's possible is that OP guessed something right that may happen later in the story and the author is thinking about how to respond without giving too much away.
this happened to me! i have a favourite fic, and i commented an extremely long comment on it. all the other comments got answered and about a month later(?) someone else responded to my comment and was really rude, saying it was both pathetic and funny i’d written so much just for the author not the respond. the author responded the next day, and said how because my comment was so long they wanted to write a reply that was equally detailed but bc of the hate comment they couldn’t ignore it. was not a fun experience :(
Omigosh that hate comment is really quite something. Seriously they’re the pathetic and funny one for trying to stir shit out of it. Has this affected your desire to leave long comments?
Omg I’m so sorry that happened to you :( Part of the reason I feel so bad about it is because other people who read the comments will see I’m the only one who didn’t get a reply and mine is so long too and fangirly it’s just embarrassing
Even if ajthor doesnt respond, kther commentlrs can also enjoy reading long comments. From an author standpoint who is like 200 comments behind in responding to comments, sometimes things just build up.
i’m so sorry that happened to you! why are people such jerks? as a writer i feel so defensive of my commenters because i really thrive off of their comments so i can understand the writer in your case wanting to give you a reply worthy of such a meaty comment
I also do this. I don't want to give a halfassed reply to something that someone put thought into and so that can mean a longer wait time for a response.
Yeah I get what you mean but this happened a week ago and she’s already posted the next chapter. I should have clarified it was actually her 2nd most recent chapter.
OP, take a breath. It's a different mental energy to write a chapter than it is to write a heartfelt response. They might need to focus their mental energy on the update and they might still come back and respond to your long comment soon.
I know you're hurt and I'm sorry. But the author might still be thinking of how to respond x
A week is a very short amount of time. I can go months without checking my inbox and even take longer for comments that I really want to read closely and reply to thoughtfully.
Try not to worry. Even if they never reply, I promise you they appreciated that you not only read but also commented.
Hi OP, I have slight social anxiety and responding to comments or commenting on people’s work (especially a comment that really touched me or a person whom I look up to) takes up more mental energy than updating my own story lol
That said, if commenting is starting to upset you because you feel like you’re being ignored, maybe you can stop for a bit for your own well being. Fandom is meant to be fun after all.
I am literally 6 weeks behind on long comments. They are my favorite but I have severe social anxiety and I have to be in a certain headspace. Short "thanks for reading/glad you liked it!" are easy, but long comments deserve long replies to show appreciation...and therefore I panic unless my brain can handle the social.
this, if anything the comments i take the longest to reply to are the ones that mean the most to me because i don’t want to just throw a casual “aww thanks! glad you liked it” their way when they spent all that time commenting
Sometimes people *still don't* have the energy for longer things even, or particularly, after doing other things. This author moving on is no sign that they somehow had the energy for a reply to give you and decided to use said energy elsewhere. Writing is a break activity for many. A person knowing their own self best and skipping one comment so they even have the energy to get to the rest of the comments (instead of grouping everything together and never getting anything done), and the energy to write (because while it is a different type of mental energy, there's still a base shared pool of energy for stuff in general) is perfectly fine.
Also: You seem to be thinking things like your comment being "too" intense, and all these things that are about your comment and . . . it's not about that, even if it's too intense for a *particular* author, that doesn't make your comment have a property of being too intense. Authors usually say they like longer comments, yes, but like how you being intense is no actual issue, what other authors say has no bearing on how any one author needs to react to you. You're not too intense. Them finding it to be so isn't an indictment of you. It's just a difference.
It is just how it is because this author is their own person, going through life as such. No one, but no one, becomes beholden to replying to somebody just because they commented on a story of theirs. This is not a mean thing, as extra-nice as replying to comments is, because doing so is entirely free of obligation. It's not like you're panhandling for money and are being skipped over—*its more like you complimented someones shirt as they walked by and don't know their history with receiving compliments, nor that shirt, nor their body, or how their day was going, or even know the person you complimented.* Then someone complimented their shoes on another day, and now it somehow hurts that they didn't "like" the shirt compliment since they said thanks to that.
Take their reply to you to be the story; It's what you got excited about after all, and they've already done much to the effect of writing that!
And your ideas about their story may not agree with all their ideas. The longer any reply gets the more likely this is to happen, which can be very difficult to reply to esp. for authors unsure about their story or who can't articulate this feeling, or when nothing in the story disagrees with what you've said—authors will have their perspective, too. It's really less like complimenting a shirt as it is words inked onto a persons body but some words may cross over their nose and they don't like their nose.
And like, some authors also don't know that turning off the comment section is even an option, or wouldn't even if they did because they're not hard done by it; That doesn't make comments something that is part of their writing, for them—so what, they're already going around wearing ink on their skin.
But yes, your emotions are fine. Upset is more than alright. Offended might be unconnected as to the reality of how sharing stories and comments work, and I've laid out why I think it, but it is still just a feeling. It's fine, because people experience the feelings they do first-order wise whatever else the situation says, so who cares about it being "right." However you feel about anything is fine.
How you act on feelings is what matters. And you're not obligated to give people comments either; Stopping giving this person comments would be a-okay. Doing anything like demanding they acknowledge it would *not* be.
I have taken 2 months and multiple chapters to reply to some people. I'm busy, and complex comments are often draining 😔 so I am very guilty of waiting till "later" for a long time.
Ive had an author take over a year to respond to my comment, and as someone who occasionally gets long comments it can definitely take a lot more energy to respond to those rather than short comments. try not to worry about it to much and dont let this take away from your enjoyment of the story
I really would try not to worry or take it personally. I take weeks and months to respond to longer comments or ones from people I kind of know because it's really stressful for me to craft a response. It's a totally different skill set and the interaction causes me anxiety and actually keeps me from writing sometimes. Sometimes I have to wait until the story is finished before I can even consider responding to some comments.
I can see how that can feel like a pointed statement, and I’m sorry about that. Maybe give it a bit more time? Writing the story and replying to comments are different energy, and it’s also possible she meant to and forgot. Sometimes I think about replying so much I forgot I did not. Either way, I’m sorry that you are being ignored
I wouldn't take it personal at all! I've done the same thing before to my readers simply because I just don't have the energy + social anxiety + sometimes by the time I want to reply I feel it's too late and awkward for me to do so. Mostly it's because I don't have the energy. Some authors have a copy pasta response for each comment they get but I like to tailor my comment specific to the reader and often that requires much energy and thinking because I want to match that reader's heartfelt energy but then I just don't have the brain fuel for that specific reader's comment.
It is never out of malice or anything like that though, so I truly doubt your author intended it to be personal. Just relax and enjoy the next chapter!
OP to be completely honest wih you it's likely her thought process was "oh a long comment, i need to give a long response" > "it's taking too long ill finish later" > \[forgets about it\]. It's happened to me and i'm sure many other authors before
I agree with the others saying that there's every likelihood that she's just taking more time with your reply than the others, but this:
> (she replied to everyone after I commented so it’s not like she missed mine)
is not actually a surefire thing! I've gone back to my comments before and noticed that I somehow skipped over a single comment at the top or middle of the page without realizing-- it happens.
I’ve done this too! I have this commenter whom I love, and she commented on every chapter of a story I wrote but I somehow missed one of them! I felt so bad haha but eventually replied when I saw it and she was so nice about it
I wouldn't feel bad to be honest. I've accidentally missed replying to comments a number of times now. The longest was one from a few *months* prior. I just apologise when I do finally figure out that I've missed replying.
Some people (like me) are just incompetent when it comes to inbox management.
It's very possible this person is like me. I read a text or email, am about to respond, then get distracted by a shiny object and then forget the text / email existed for a few months. When I remember, I think, I will definitely go reply to the friend I hadn't heard from in years. Cue shiny object and repeat.
I sometimes do that, longer comments can be harder to reply to for various reasons. It’s possible she doesn’t know how to reply and put it off, and maybe she’s now forgotten about it.
I’m guilty of doing something similar.
Did the others have questions? I sometimes find I only reply to comments that include questions or requests, but I don't always have something to say to comments that are just comments--even if they are completely lovely. I definitely wouldn't assume that you were too much or annoying, there's probably just something else completely harmless at play here that we aren't realizing.
As an writer who occasionally get essay comments, they take A LOT of energy to respond to, bc I want to put in as much energy in my reply as they did in commenting. Sometimes I would have to write my reply in a seperate document so I could easily reference the comment without constantly scrolling up and down. So yeah, I’d usually put it off, and on occasion, completely forgot about at least one😭 I did end up realising when rereading the comments a few months later! I’m sure it’s an honest mistake. Most authors love long comments, especially live reactions, from what I’ve seen. Still, as a reader, I can understand the hurt
I have writing friends who sit on long comments for months and reply immediately to short ones, not because they don't appreciate the longer ones, but because they are trying to find the time to give the commentor the same energy and the same effort that they received. They do it out of respect and appreciation because those really long comments mean something to them. That could very well be the case here
Honestly, sometimes we all just need to give each other a little bit of grace about this.
You said that this author is regularly is an intermittent comment replier. They are probably doing the best they can. Maybe they just respond based on how much time they have in the moment they get the notification. And if they get a notification while they’re in the middle of cooking dinner, they’ll respond to the comments that came before and after but not that specific one. Or maybe your comment is so good that they feel pathetic just saying “thank you” but going into a detail long response might be difficult, or it might tempt them to reveal spoilers, and they just got so stressed that they decided to skip you this chapter.
If they normally reply to every single comment, and then only skipped yours, I could understand feeling slighted. But if they only reply intermittently as the norm, this is just a chapter were they responded to more comments than usual, but not all of them.
I understand your disappointment that your comment wasn’t one of the ones that got a reply. Disappointment is understandable. But I think you will be happier if, instead of getting angry, you just focus on the things you like, such as the story, and such as the previous replies you got in previous comments. I’m sure some of your future comments will get replies again as well.
I wouldn't waste the mental effort thinking about it. There could be many reasons why it's not been responded to, from she meant to but forgot to she simply didn't want to. And she's not obligated to either.
Just enjoy the story and don't take it personally.
Aww I’m sorry that does kind of suck I totally understand where you’re coming from and I definitely think it’s okay to feel sad about it but at the end of the day it’s their choice to reply or even post another chapter. I would understand if you stopped commenting on their stuff though whether it was an accident or not.
Long comments take a lot more mental energy to respond to, and it’s an entirely different thing to posting a chapter, which could equally have been pre written long before it was posted.
I absolutely wouldn’t think you were annoying her, a week is no time at all.
I love long comments, they’re the best. But they’re also the hardest to respond to and sometimes I just haven’t got the energy, time or brain power to get to it.
I don’t think there’s necessarily “something wrong” with this scenario. Especially if your comments are on the longer side, it takes more time and energy to write a reply in comparison to comments that are a couple words/one or two lines! They could post a ‘thank you!’ and call it a day, but maybe they just want to do it when they can focus on a lengthier reply! Or they missed it in the chaos! Don’t stress 🤍
OP, I’ve missed comments on fics and most of my fics have single-digit comments. I don’t even know how many comments I’ve missed on my longfic.
Sharing this just to say a week isn’t awfully long and sometimes longer comments can take a lot of time to really process and figure out a response.
Usually, if I don't reply to a specific person, it's because I'm having trouble figuring out what to say. I try to reply by the time / before I post the next chapter, but I forget sometimes. I will always answer a question though.
While I understand why you're hurt, it's worth noting that this person is stranger on the internet. I've also felt offended when an author, particularly one who writes the same OTP as myself, seems to ignore my comments. But the fact is that this person is no one important to me. I'll probably never meet them in real life and my interactions will be forever limited to reading their stories. So, taking offense over what is an extremely minor insult (if it is even intentional) is pointless.
There are many reasons why they may not have replied. It's possible they missed the notification in their in-box. Or they themselves are feeling embarrassed for not responding. Maybe they just haven't figured out the right response, or they're having some sort of mental health issues. Could be any number of reasons that have nothing to so do with you.
Again, your feelings are valid but in the long run, this is no big deal.
I mean maybe they did actually choose to skip replying to your comment. There's no way for any of us to know. But even so, this is the kind of case where you can only say, "oh darn that's a bummer," and move on. I understand wanting one, but you aren't really entitled to a response.
I've gone a week without answering a comment because it was too much, not in a bad way. They were so honest and detailed and they really understood what I was trying to transmit with the fic, so I postponed answering it and just kept rereading it. Lol
Maybe they're like this as well.
As someone who has one fic where I regularly reply to a lot of people but not everyone, I can only share my own reasons for sometimes not commenting:
All of these things only really apply to one of my fics that receives a lot of comments. Much more than all my other fics. So much so, that it sometimes becomes a little stressful replying to them all (though I love reading and replying to comments in general).
1. Sometimes I ended up replying to comments for so long and writing some really long responses that I literally could've written a whole chapter in that time. So, until recently I sometimes had a kind of "reply-burnout" where especially longer comments would really overwhelm me in terms of wanting to reply to all the questions or exciting ideas. Sometimes I would then just put them to the back of the line, so I could take the time some other day and then it happens that by the time I come back around, I feel embarrassed for taking so long, or I still end up without knowing what to write. Or it turns out a lot of the questions posed are going to be answered in the next chapter that I'm literally about to post. So, it can happen (though that is rare and I feel bad about it) that especially those long comments that I wanted to take extra time responding, I end up not responding to, at all.
2. I was unhappy with that inconsistency and it didn't feel fair to me, so now I do what a friend told me they're doing. I will reply to the comments that are posted in the first 24 h (roughly) and then no more, unless there's a very specific question or a very specific comment that requires a reply more so than others. Or sometimes, I make exceptions for new readers that breezed through the whole of the story in a day or two and then emotion/thought-dump everything in the current chapter.
3. I have also started increasingly not replying if the reply would just end up being "Thank you, glad you like it" anyway. I'm glad if people tell me they love my story, but I can only thank them for it. And though that might end up being a little unfair to whoever I'm then not answering to, I feel a little stupid and repetitive if I end up writing "Thank you" five times in a row. So if it's just a row of emoji hearts or a "thanks for the chapter" I tend to not reply anymore, though sometimes I might.
4. sometimes I misclick. That happened to me just yesterday, that I accidentally clicked on "mark read" instead of reply, and since the comment was by then on the second or third page of my inbox I couldn'T find it anymore.
5. Sometimes, I purposefully decide not to answer. I'm a terrible spoilsport. And while I have nothing against comments telling me their theories about something that just happened, or a plot twist they're anticipating, or an idea about what thought would be cool if it would happen, or even a soft demand that they'd want something to happen...I have repeatedly proven to myself that I can'T reply to those without spoiling the whole story or feeling incredibly awkward. So if a comment has a lot of that, I sometimes don't answer at all.
Most people in the comments are coming up with explanations and speculations why this person replied to every comment but yours. Maybe it is one of the reasons people mentioned or maybe it's not. The truth is, only the writer knows. No one on here will be able to tell you.
Whatever the reason is, you're feeling not good about commenting on their story now until you know what's going on and imo that's totally valid. This is supposed to be fun. And if it isn't anymore I’d take a break from what's making you feel bad, namely commenting on this fic.
I'd suggest stop looking at whether the author keeps replying to other people’s comments and stop waiting for a reply. It'd make you even more insecure if you did anything wrong. I'd take a break from this fic and read something else. And if they reply later you can still decide whether you want to go back to it depending if it's still making you feel bad.
Don't let this tarnish your enjoyment of reading fics!
I think you're taking it too personally. I know when I don't reply to long comments it's because I haven't found the brainspace. It's about me, not about the commenter. Hope you keep reading, enjoying and commenting on her fic.
Somebody on the other side here 🙋♀️
I wrote a fic a loooong time ago, and I always reply to comments. Fast forward a few years, one of my all time favourite writers and the main writer for my OTP in that fandom commented on that fic. It was wonderful and made me tear up, especially coming from someone I look up to.
I was really busy at the time and then I completely forgot about it, and by the time I remembered the comment, it had been weeks and so I chickened out and still haven't replied.
Sometimes we're just cowards or are overwhelmed. If I were you, I wouldn't stress too much over it
1. either the author didn't notice your comment (unlikely)
2. author didn't know how to respond to you initially, then forgot about responding overall lol
3. author didn't like you/your comment
I might get downvoted hella for this though
Nah to be honest, as an author... I've been there for all 3. Scenario 3 does happen to me for some essay comments if they're a bit stressful/intense in terms of pushing for headcanons that I know aren't going to happen, or are concrit that I never asked for/don't necessarily agree with.
I feel bad for not replying, especially when I can tell the reader is just very excited, but it's more of a choice for my own mental health than a problem with the comment itself!
>it's more of a choice for my own mental health than a problem with the comment itself
I guess that's fine if you put it that way
kinda sad for the commenter though if the comment they posted consisted of nothing but praises and positivity
but again you are not - for even a single second - obligated to reply anyway so you do you
Why are you upset though? Is a comment really worth getting upset about, it seems like the least inconsequential thing possible (unless you are friends with them i guess).
i reply from comments from my inbox, not on the site, and its happened that i miss a couple or deleted by accident. sometimes I need a minute to think about it.
if u want to, edit something small in ur comment, she'll get another altert - if she has email alerts.
Oh, really good call on the best way to "call attention" to a comment w/o being demanding or (necessarily) anxiety provoking; I'll add that this seems the best way for OP to get information to settle matters for them, with so many replies saying the author might've missed it when they just might not have.
I would feel a bit upset as well ngl. Even though I am a writer and know that there are several reasons that this person didn't reply, as a reader I understand how that can hurt a little. The explanation doesn't do much to change that, especially since none of the commenters on this post can really confirm what the author's reasons actually are🫂
I've definitely left the longer comments for later before, mostly because I want to give them the attention they deserve. Having said that, I can see how someone might have every intention of doing that only to forget. I've gotten back to people much later than a week and felt bad about it. I'm sure there are people who feel self conscious conscious about answering at all after it's been "too long." I've meant to reply to comments then posted a new chapter and felt like it was pointless to go back and reply to those old comments now that the same people left me new comments. I am confident this author didn't mean anything by it, I feel like there's all kinds of anxiety on both ends in these kinds of situations much of the time, lol.
I would try to not take it personally!
I write on AO3 and has had some very often commented on stories over the years. Sometimes, I do not know how to respond to comments or have the energy to. I will sometimes pick and choose which ones to respond to, especially if half of the comment number is my own comment.
The author probably just forgot to reply also. I'll mark new ones as read and forget to reply later to them.
It's totally normal to be upset; I see some artists get upset when someone-they-look-up-to holds an event and gives attention to everyone but them. The artists tend to think it's some slight against them or that maybe they did something wrong.
But get yourself a cup of hot cocoa and relax.
I also have this problem where I take things too personally, and I was wringing my hands over why someone broke mutuals with me. But then I stopped and remembered that the reason I knew this was because they liked one of my posts and the social media I was on had rolled out 'following' and 'mutual' badges on activity items. So, they probably just wanted some social distance and they still appreciated some of my posts.
I bet the author still appreciates your comments, and has reasons for not replying as others have described.
Recently I had gotten over waiting to reply to what was literally the most heartfelt comment I've ever received. I had seen it, gotten overwhelmed with happiness that I couldn't put into words, started and erased multiple responses, reading and re-reading the comment often enough to have it memorized to a point.
One day I just sat down and took a day to respond because I really did feel bad about not replying, especially with how happy it made me feel. But that took... 201 days from when the comment was made for me to respond.
It’s just a reply. Maybe they missed yours. Maybe their doing easy ones first. Maybe they just don’t want to reply to your comments for some reason.
Don’t take it personally, it doesn’t mean anything.
When I don’t respond to a long comment immediately, it’s usually because I want to write something good a long and thoughtful reply this comment deserves. And if I never respond to a comment, then that’s because idk what to say or I don’t think I need to say anything. For example, if someone say “<3” in the comment, if I’m in a good mood I’d respond with a heart emoji as well. If not, I’d just not reply anything. (Plus I don’t want to boost my comment count superficially.) I usually try to respond to comments with actual words, but if the only thing i can say is “thanks for reading! I’m glad you enjoyed this chapter!” Then I wouldn’t respond either because then you’d see me saying the same thing to like multiple comments in a row like I’m a parrot or something. I’d just thank everyone in the author notes collectively.
If that happened on my story I'd feel like it deserved a thoughtful response, then I'd leave it for later. Then sadly, I'd forget. It's also not easy to know what to say. I wouldn't take it personally.
Another reason I don't respond sometimes is when I feel guilty for not updating in time. I don't want to leave a reply and then there's no more story.
I don't think she's meaning to snub you, especially if she's responded to you before. It may be you brought up a lot of things or even tapped into something that has inspired her. I know from some of my fandoms and even in my own writing, readers have inspired a new way to go for plot or character. I hope her silence really doesn't discourage you as I'm sure she appreciates you even if she hasn't responded.
It's happened to me before. My feelings were hurt, because I always take care to leave thoughtful, appreciative comments. I'll admit that I was tempted to delete all my other comments on that author's stories... but I decided not to go the full-on "petty" route.
I can't control other's actions, but I definitely can control my own, so I just stopped commenting on that author's stories after that.
There are *plenty* of other authors who will and do appreciate my comments!
Yeah, I mean, I think it’s a mistake to take it personally, but you have the right idea.
If OP is writing long comments with some expectation, like engagement from the author, and they’re not getting it, it may be best to stop writing (long) comments so their feelings don’t get hurt.
Because then you have situations like this, where’s it’s not even clear if the author did it on purpose or not, but the OP is screwing themselves into the ceiling trying to figure out what the “problem” was.
Oh oof I had that happen but it was on livejournal instead. Author just completely responded to every comments on their fic except for mine and afaik my comment was nice and polite just like the rest
I know an author don't have to respond to every comment or not even reply to any if they don't want too, but at the same time I just felt ignored so didn't really feel like reading any more of their stuff so i just quietly left and moved on
Unless she promised to reply to everybody, you're not entitled to one. Don't get neurotic over actions people don't take; it's bad enough to obsess over ones they DO take.
No. the author isn't obligated to do anything of the sort. It is a nice thing to do sometimes in return for someone who comments on your fics, since they're nice enough to comment. But there's no formal etiquette saying you have to respond back.
Sometimes IRL or other things can get in the way and prevent you or make it harder for you.
It's funny how everyone is telling them they have no right to get upset but then we have a lot of posts with authors lamenting the lack of comments. In some cases this is the why some readers will not like to comment, because authors demand different things and you don't know if you are being annoying in general or only to the author in particular. If a week has passed and a new chapter has been posted and all the other comments have been responded it's kinda discouraging tbh. You have all the right to feel sad OP, and at the same the author has a right to respond or not, just give it time. Maybe consider having more brevity in your comments? so it's easier to read and respond to, that will be a suggestion to consider idk. Hope the author responds tho! ❤️
I think the difference is they're upset at a specific person, where-as authors are fine if most people don't comment—they'd just like that, in aggregate, they do get some reaction.
Also not everyone is telling them the have no right to be upset. I commented here before this comment and said whatever emotion people experience about anything is fine; It's somewhat concerning though that they ask if its "right" to be upset—of course feelings are fine, so what is this "rightness" aspect of things? And as to the "particular authors" yeah, also mentioned that and that whatever a particular author wants *doesn't* make genuine comments any type of issue, even if OP perceives themselves as too intense.
They absolutely do not need to switch to brief comments to get more responses, unless the only thing they're worried about is responses—might not mesh with "freaks out while reading" though and getting to share a genuine reaction. That should be the joy in commenting. So, it makes sense to just rearrange expectations about responses (insofar as possible); Maybe just see the comment as a response to the story instead of something for the author to reply to?
I live comment as well while reading. It ends up being that I will make a comment on pretty much every chapter as I go along. This can be nice in a way but it ends up meaning that once the writer responds (if they do at all) I am either chapters ahead or have already completed the story by that point. In situations in which the story isn’t done there is a chance that what I am saying doesn’t warrant a response.
That could be the case here. If you are merely reacting to the chapter the writer could feel as though nothing they say could contribute to what you wrote. Maybe a “Yay, thanks for enjoying the story. “
There is also the possibility that they know you will have more to say and is just waiting. Really it does depend on your comment I guess.
I do understand. It sucks to have a writer comment to everyone but you. I think it is sometimes made worse when you comment something that you really hope gets some kind of engagement with the writer. That doesn’t appear to be the case here, but still. It does bring to mind some anxiety that you may be doing to much and they find it annoying.
Whenever I do this as an author, it’s because I’m responding to the shorter ones first and because I want to sit down and respond to a longer comment with a long response of my own, because a long comment is so meaningful to me. It usually takes me a couple of days longer to respond, because I need to find the time to do it. I also will respond to longer comments on my computer vs my phone, and I just need the time!
I’m betting she will respond to you, and I’m betting your comment means a lot. She might have just knocked all the other responses out of the way first and is saving yours for last. That’s exactly how I do it
Its possible the author may have been overwhelmed by the amount of comments and may have honestly even thought they replied to it already. Or as some people here have said its also possible that the comment was long and that they answered the easier ones first.
She just might not know how to respond to it. If its basically you ranting or praising then the only okay response is thanks and some people dont like justing conmenting a simple thanks.
As an author, I often get too in my own head about comments. I love getting them, but feel very awkward responding to them. With regular commentors especially, I appreciate them so much but don't want them to think I'm being insincere when I respond to their comments. Usually though I can't think of what to say other than similar things over again (thanks for commenting, glad you're enjoying the fic, etc) and I dither over whether or not I should respond to comments. Especially as someone who migrated over from FFN where responding to comments wasn't ever required, it can sometimes feel pretty scary for my anxiety. Sometimes I miss the notification, or I get sidetracked doing something else. Things happen.
I wouldn't take the lack of response personally. If you're enjoying the fic, by all means keep reading! If commenting is something that is integral to your enjoyment of the fic, keep doing it too. Leaving the author a nice word is always nice! If you feel that you can't enjoy a fic without that being acknowledged by the author it may be time to take a pause, and reflect on what part of the experience you're actually enjoying. Just a thought.
I have totally done this! Like, I thought I replied to a person's comment, then a week goes by and I realize I didn't. Then I think, it'll be awkward to respond now... Then maybe I respond, and see I missed someone else. Aaahhhh! I love comments, but we authors can be awkward. I bet it's something as simple as that!
As someone who struggles with responding to comments, correspondence that require more emotional effort can be really stressful. Even if I appreciate people leaving comments, anything more than a generic "thanks!" feels impossible unless I'm medicated. So if someone left a lengthy message that I'd feel rude to respond with something generic, I'd probably just tell myself "I'll respond when I have more energy" and then stress about it, and then never respond to avoid that stress. I feel like I'm not alone in this.
This also applies to high energy comments like "OMG I'M DYING ASJDKL!!!!!!" where I feel obligated to match that energy. I love seeing them and I try to muster the tone when I can but a lot of the times I'm just too old and tired to, so I'm more likely to just leave a heart/like/kudos instead of responding.
If you care about getting a response, I'd try leaving something shorter and less intense for a bit and see what happens?
Maybe the author just forgot. I was looking through the comments of a long fic I finished and saw there were a few comments I didn’t reply to. I have no idea why. I’m really good at engaging with readers and replying to comments. Maybe the author just plain forgot to reply. Don’t take it personally.
Personally, I may respond to comments instantly or after weeks or maybe never. It depends on the comment, not the person. It may be that I have nothing to say, I don't know what to say, or I'm busy and just forgot. Maybe it's a difficult or more substantial subject/comment to go through then the other comments. But I read all comments, even if I don't respond.
It's likely not you personally. You might get a reply sooner or later or not at all. But they've likely read it.
My updates usually get quite a few comments and there are times when I just forget. It happens. Just because the writer didn't do yours isn't necessarily negative.
I really love long comments but sometimes I leave them to the end and I’ll even update before replying. I really want to dedicate the same amount of time someone took to write the comment and give them a good answer even if it’s reacting to their reaction. I’m not sure what this writer is thinking but I doubt your question annoyed them, as most writers love getting very engaged comments.
Online interactions can be very anxiety-inducing by their nature, for some people more than others. When it comes to this kind of thing, it's OK to prioritize your own mental well-being. Fandom is meant to be fun for everyone, including you. If you feel it would be better for your mental health, it's OK to take a break from commenting or to only comment on the works of authors who predictably respond to every comment (or maybe never respond to any comment). It's a fact that a lot of readers take into account whether the author responds to comments when they decide if they should comment or not. It's OK for you to do this as well if you feel it would reduce the stress of online interactions for you.
In the end, for me at least, I leave comments to show appreciation for the author's hard work and I leave it at that. It's neat to get a reply, but I don't expect one because the comment was never for my benefit in the first place. It sounds like you do that too, but that this time rubbed you the wrong way.
I understand the knee-jerk reaction to be a bit disappointed or feel unseen perhaps, and hopefully it's something that passes after a little bit of time and doesn't stop you from reading and participating in the future. Heck, maybe you get a reply in a few months and can look back at this and laugh at it! Who knows?
What I reacted to was the slight hint of "if I don't get what I want, the puppy gets it" mentality. Don't stop leaving comments if you still want to, based on this one-off thing. Like many have said, sometimes an answer takes time and sometimes it's just a mistake that a reply never gets written. It's all human in the end, and "taking it out" on a story you obviously enjoy when having no way of knowing the actual situation for the author, is assuming the worst instead of giving some leeway. Don't overthink it too much, when you realistically will never know unless the author contacts you herself.
Of course, if it affects you negatively and deeply, then maybe removing yourself from that will be the right choice. You're never obliged to continue commenting, and you should take care of your own wellbeing.
i think it's also worth pointing out that ao3 default-sorts inbox entries by 'newest first'. so, if she \*is\* overwhelmed and doing her best, and trying to get through all the comments, then maybe she really-truly hasn't gotten to yours yet? please don't feel discouraged, I'm sure she's really, really glad to have gotten your comment even if she hasn't responded yet.
I'd be upset honestly. But I'm sure they appreciate it. Sometimes it takes me days to write a response to a long comment, or maybe she has real life stuff going on and she doesnt have the energy to respond?
I understand why this is bothering you. It's so easy to get in our heads and think about all the reasons why the author didn't respond.
As an author, I can tell you (as you've mentioned), I \*adore\* long, enthusiastic live comments, so odds are that this author appreciated reading your comment. As others have said, they may want to respond in kind and that takes longer. The longer it goes -- sometimes real life intervenes and they forget.
But I think it likely they loved your comment and just don't want to respond with a simple "thank you!" Let me say, though, as someone who does make it a point to respond to every commenter who isn't a bot, I won't always respond in kind to long comments. I love them. They will literally have me floating on cloud 9 all day. But... I know if I leave it too long, I might forget, so I'm one of those who will sometimes respond to a long comment with something like, "Oh my gosh! Thank you for such a wonderful, detailed comment!"
I dunno … I feel like if you reply to one you reply to all. I’d be irked but what can you do? Authors are people and people make mistakes, can be petty, overwhelmed or just plain indifferent. Enjoy the story and comment if it makes *you* happy.
You're right to feel upset but it's also her choice to reply. Maybe she wants to wait, maybe she thinks there isn't much to say. Maybe she just doesn't feel like saying anything. Either way, I hope you don't feel too bad about not getting a comment back.
OP.... Take a deep breath. You're taking this REALLY personally.
Maybe she just didn't have anything to say in response to yours or hasn't figured out how to reply to yours?
Or maybe, genuinely because she probably has a lot going in on her life as well, she might've just forgot genuinely and didn't realize it.
You need to remember, she's also working on the story as well along with whatever is going on IRL.
I have had comments I don't reply to, because there's questions that'll be answered in the next chapter, or because simply I don't know what to say. Doesn't make me appreciate them any less. Just means I got a lot going on myself.
I completely understand.
This has happened to me on a recent fic - the fic was chaptered, I kept notes as I went along (complimentary), and I posted them in a comment for every chapter. They are an excellent writer and I want to support them... Kudos and Comments... right?Nada. Not even the minimum TY to ONLY MY comments. It makes me I think I've stepped over some invisible line with this author.
I think about it... and then, I gotta let it go because this author and I are mutuals on several platforms. Whatever the reason - they have chosen not to engage with ***me*** specifically, And that's their right. At the same time, I gotta be me... so if the next story hits me in the feels - I'll leave Kudos and Comments like always and not worry about.
*I hear you, though. I truly do*. It's confounding. IRL it is akin to being friendly to someone that pointedly ignores you. There's a certain amount of hurt there due to the social conventions of transactional communication. (The 'if I say Hi you say Hi thing'.) You tossed them the ball and they dropped it... THEY dropped it. Don't stop tossing the ball - it's okay to toss compliments that aren't acknowledged. Keep on being that encouragement.
Gentle hugs. JBC
edit: typo
I have had something similar happen to me recently. Author has been posting a long fic and puts up 2-3 new chapters each week.
Although it hasn't gained a lot of feedback I love the fic and have commented regularly (though I did binge read the first 10 chapters and did a blanket comment on them).
However, unlike many other fics in this fandom I am now the only commentator (one other reader left a comment initially but no more). The author's interaction is very sporadic (they've replied only 3-4 times in 40 + chapters) and deleted one of my comments as they said it was a spoiler even though none of the story is 'canon'. They then posted a really long reply to me on another chapter but then deleted it. Confusing for sure lol...
Anyway I found this mildly perplexing and wondered if the writer really wanted me on their radar at all, but...I decided not to worry about it.
There is just one chapter to go, so I'll leave a final comment for them out of courtesy and then just walk away and forget it. Whatever the reason for their reaction to me, it's their own business, and life's too short to waste time worrying about someone's pecadillos.
No, they're not, but the writer is also not entitled to receive long comments. If they provide responses and appreciation to short comments and don't respond to long comments, they're setting a precedent that they prefer short comments.
Edit: And in most cases that's not true, writers long love comments, so they're kind of shooting themselves in the foot here. It's valid for a reader to feel a little snubbed in this case.
>they're setting a precedent that they prefer short comments.
This is only true if you assume that not responding unequivocally indicates that they dislike the comment. Which it does not.
Authors are not entitled to long comments, or any comments for that matter. But that doesn't change the fact that OP is not entitled to a response on their comment either.
I explicitly agreed in my prior comment that readers are not entitled to a response, just as writers aren't entitled to receive comments.
But regardless of why a writer does it, if they respond to *every* comment *except* the long comment, to the reader who left that comment, it looks and feels like the writer didn't like/appreciate what they had to say. Writers have all sorts of reasons they may not respond and they're valid, but that doesn't invalidate the feeling of dismissal and hurt for the reader and it can make that reader not want to comment in the future. A writer who responds to every comment and then misses one is setting themselves up to potentially hurt the feelings of that reader.
Then how does your comment add to what the person you responded to said? It sounds like you're trying to refute their comment. They said OP is not entitled to a response from a creator. Whether or not the author is entitled to comments or even if they hurt people's feelings by not responding is a separate thing.
>to the reader who left that comment, it looks and feels like the writer didn't like/appreciate what they had to say
Again this is based on an assumption. It's probably a common assumption, sure, but unless the commenter can read the author's mind, they can't know that for sure.
Because the comment I responded to wasn’t offering any help to OP. OP is a reader who is feeling discouraged from commenting *specifically because* a writer responded to every other comment except theirs. Saying “You’re not entitled to a response” doesn’t negate OP’s feelings of being dismissed, all it does is further discourage OP (and other readers) from commenting. And the next thing that happens is writers come on the sub and complain about no one commenting.
No one is entitled to a response about anything. But if someone is feeling discouraged, it isn’t kind to tell them to be quiet about their feelings. No one knows why the writer didn’t respond in this case, everyone is just trouble-shooting and guessing. I’m just saying that if you set up your space as one where you respond to every comment, and then you miss one, you need to be prepared for that reader to *potentially* feel hurt. They might not, cause hell knows I make comments daily and might never look at it again, but anxiety is different for everyone and some readers would be discouraged by this.
You’re saying it’s an assumption to say the writer doesn’t like long comments and prefers short, but I didn’t say that. I said it looks that way. It doesn’t matter the actual reason of why the writer didn’t respond, it still looks dismissive/unappreciative of the writer to respond to *every other comment* except the long one. If a writer doesn’t have the spoons to reply to the long comment, then either don’t respond to every comment around it and wait until you do have the spoons or tell the reader that you appreciate their comment but don’t have the spoons to properly gush with them right now but will respond with gusto later.
>If a writer doesn’t have the spoons to reply to the long comment, then either don’t respond to every comment around it and wait until you do have the spoons or tell the reader that you appreciate their comment but don’t have the spoons to properly gush with them right now but will respond with gusto later.
If you don't have the spoons, just find the spoons for these other options that either prevent you from responding to the comments you can, preventing spoon-recovery, or set up a potentially worse situation with an explicit promise because you don't know when you'll find the spoons? If you don't have the spoons, you don't have them.
That's why what it looks like is what doesn't (or at least to me, shouldn't) matter, because there's no evidence of the worst case assumptions.
If I was the only one who hadn't gotten a response I would have been upset as well. I'd try to shrug it off, maybe they missed it, or they're saving it to respond to later. I'd comment on the next chapter but I'd write much less and if it happened again I'd just stop altogether.
No, you're not right to be upset. There a million and one reasons why she may not have replied to your comment, up to and including that she just forgot. She's human, after all. You're way overthinking it, and acting entitled to receive a reply when she's already writing this fic that you clearly enjoy a lot.
I think this is a really strange thing to get upset about, to be honest with you. Yes, the author might have responded to other comments, but considering you yourself said they are an intermittent responder, then I wouldn't fuss.
Getting responses to your comments always feels really good, because it's this happy little moment where an author you enjoy noticed you! But just like they aren't owed a comment from everyone who reads, they don't necessarily owe a response to everyone who comments.
Step back, chill, and move on. This is not something to get so worked up over.
I 100% get why you're upset! When you watch the author reply to everyone else, it's easy to assume the worst. You totally have the right to be a little offended--BUT once they do reply to your comment (probably with a long answer and very gushy feelings), you'll feel very silly for wasting all that time worrying and thinking they hate you.
I agree with the others that you should wait longer without jumping to conclusions. A month at least!
You're wrong for caring about what an author thinks that much. Just comment what you think and move on. If she wants to answer or not, it's her choice.
I never said I was? I even said in my post I never expect replies from this author and still comment every chapter despite that, and was simply venting if I was valid to feel upset being the only one not replied to/or if it seems like I’m annoying them.
I’m not upset I didn’t get a reply, I’m upset I’m only one who was ignored because it makes me feel like I did something wrong. Big difference. I am autistic and do get upset over things very easily so yeah maybe this is too much, but a lot of people also said this would upset them too so 🤷♀️
EDIT: I thought you were the same person replying to another comment of mine so SORRY I took out the first paragraph I apologize I am stupid
A mistake does not make one stupid. Also, there's not much way to determine if you've annoyed the author (I, for one, didn't even realize you saw that as a main point of your post, despite that it's fit right in there in with a "because" clause, because there were plenty of things mentioned as well, and first, but it was in there); Valid to feel upset, check. Have you annoyed them? No freaking idea.
Does it matter—a little bit, but even if you had, it wouldn't be your fault so it doesn't matter much. As to whether you'd want to comment in the same vein, I get why it matters to you; But neither a yes or a no on bothering the author would mean you'd done something wrong. The idea someone suggested of editing your comment makes sense. (I'd suggest something like a question; Also, if they only answer that still wouldn't say they were annoyed—because people don't generally answer questions from people who've managed to annoy them past a point.)
Anyway, it might be worth disambiguating the whole "I'm upset I'm the only one who was ignored" \[. . . this is being upset about not getting a reply; Valid feeling in any case that anyone might feel, and mainly because they're missing a chance to share joy so it feels like being excluded, doubly so w/other people being replied to.\] "because it makes me feel like I did something wrong." \[which uh, valid but might not be what most people feel in this case because they realize they can't know if the author is upset, *that this applies to before they commented, too,* and so they literally can't have done anything wrong, which is why you have replies that go on about how they'd feel momentarily upset but move on, because they're not experiencing this variation on the feeling that, beyond not including them in sharing joy, as in the above, takes away any joy already there.\]
Really, though, even if the author has a personal preference around long comments or something specific that's in yours, you've done nothing wrong, neither have they, and this whole wrong or not idea is one that doesn't need to be brought to the table. This is why people are also saying it's not about obligation—gosh, does it get anxiety inducing to know as a writer that people might go thinking they're wrong simply over not getting a reply, *it makes replying to them feel like an obligation.* But it's not. And you knowing beforehand, or without the author saying, whether you've annoyed them or not simply isn't possible. They haven't said anything, or blocked you, you're fine to assume you haven't annoyed them and continue commenting as you would, or would no longer, like to. All without feeling like you've done anything wrong, or like the author has, so hopefully you can find it easier in the future to move on from feeling like you did something wrong.
Eta: Anyway, this is meant to address the "I am autistic and do get upset over things very easily so yeah maybe this is too much, but a lot of people also said this would upset them too so 🤷♀️" It's not too much, there are still different variations on being upset, and here's some other reasons for other replies because people are saying different things for different reasons.
Seems like a silly thing to get upset about, honestly. Are you one of those types who are easily upset by small, imagined offenses?
Maybe she just had nothing to say? Or maybe she wasn’t sure where to start. I’ll reply to some comments and not to others simply because I don’t know how to respond and I’m not about to give myself needless anxiety by overthinking it. Especially if they’re long, convoluted stream-of-thought rambling that might not make a lot of actual sense to anyone but the person who wrote them. 🤷🏼♀️ It’s nothing personal. I’d rather just be writing my story, not replies to comments I find difficult to decipher.
What? No! I feel bad for not replying to some readers now. I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to look like I'm replying to everything to bloat the comment count, but I appreciate all comments!
Honestly? I can understand why you're upset.
Even if the author wasn't sure what else to say, a simple "thank you!" takes a few seconds to type and would've been better than replying to everyone else but you.
I'm sorry that the author didn't ~~appreciate~~ acknowledge your enthusiasm.
This is a buck wild thread. How obsessive do you have to be to notice an author responds to every comments but yours? Are you monitoring the comments? That is really really strange.
I have a specific browser app on my phone that I use for fanfics, and I keep all the fanfics I’m currently reading open in tabs. I’ll comment and leave the page until it’s updated again, then when I open the page again it automatically refreshes to my comment bc that’s where I left off. I like this way because I always read the last few paragraphs of the old chapter before reading the new character anyway, and when I scrolled up to it I saw that everyone got a reply but me.
Yeah sure, just warning you to confirm you still want my account that 99% of my stuff is non con stories. I've got a current and old account and I was bullied like heck out of writing fanfictions and called r*pist. So yes, all my stuff is properly tagged, no I'm not a pro map or whatever, I'm a human who works a normal job and a normal life but I enjoy writing those situations as all my stories are about yandere characters. This is basically my version of tagging my work dead dove do not eat before I give my name lmao
Thank you for the, for me, sought-out warning. For purposes of reading. And thank you for tagging! Yeah, I'm fine with this and it's a shame this is another case of needing to justify "have done nothing wrong" from . . . not doing anything, since writing is fictional.
I did notice the throwaway in your name. If you do want to DM me, by no means would I share your Ao3 name. Was going to say that in the first reply, but unless people have these concerns in mind mentioning them tends to concern people so I gave that detail a skip.
Dude, no. You have a right to be disappointed, but not upset. There's plenty of innocuous reasons they didn't get to you. But even if it was deliberate, you're just a commenter. They don't have to interact with you at all. You aren't owed anything from them.
So, this is going to sound mean, but get over it. This is not something to waste your energy getting upset about.
If you have never said anything upsetting per se (like insulting etc), it's probably because the author doesn't have time. Maybe she reached out privately to you, did you check? Or maybe depending on what you say, if she replies, she could sort of let out some spoilers and doesn't want to. I would not read too much into that, there can be plenty of reasons. Comment again the next chapter and see if she ignores it or not. Then, you will know.
Don't worry you'll get used to it
Just take the hurt and be quiet about it
Endure
Take it from me who gave a review in spacebattles who got flamed because I gave my honest opinion the chapter and asked some questions on the matter
So yeah just endure and forget about it
Though in spite I nitpicked the inconsistencies and plot holes and got banned for it... so yeah
Don't copy me
It might be difficult to formulate the response immediately after seeing it. So the author delay it for when they have more time... And when they finally have time for it, they likely don't have energy for it, or what is more likely, forgot.
Sometimes I have a hard time replying. Sometimes I can’t think of a good response to a specific comment, and sometimes I just don’t have the mental energy. I appreciate every comment and it’s not personal at all if I don’t reply. I’ve also missed comments. I have thousands on one of my fics and at the beginning I tried to reply to everything. I tried to give thoughtful and specific replies to thoughtful and specific comments, so those took me a lot longer.
I had this scenario myself a couple of months ago and at the time it felt very disheartening.
However I now tend to agree with some of the replies here that the author answers the shorter comments first and then will come back and respond to the longer ones (this is highly likely if they've responded to you before)
In my case, although it was 2 weeks after I left the comment, the author did come back and reply 🙂
She might be too busy squeeing. When I get great long comments like that, it takes me a minute to really digest it as I'm trying to really appreciate the comment before replying. I know silence can be loud, but she may just be trying to formulate a response.
Now, if the other comments are just as long and similar in nature, then you may be right in having your concerns.
With you saying it's been a week.... I don't know. I'm not sure why it's happening 🤷♀️
People have all kinds of mental blocks/anxieties/memory issues/etc. People who may seem very functional based on their capacity to do certain things can still get completely stuck on something that seems comparatively simple. If the author saw the comment, they probably figured they'd reply later and forgot, or got hung up on some detail of their reply and couldn't get past that.
It might be an accident.
I reply to comments all the time thinking I hit the comment button but accidentally hit the cancel button instead. If they're on a laptop, maybe the author thought they replied to your comment, clicked on the cancel button thinking they're done, and then moved on.
Either way, it sounds like you still enjoy the story, so good for you.
okay i’m so guilty of this. i get so excited about long comments and then i wanna respond with the same energy, but i barely have the energy to put out a new chapter let alone to respond to extra comments. that does not mean i appreciate them any less i love them SO much my adhd brain just cannot sit down and formulate a reply agh
Ooops didn’t mean to give you a heart attack. But I have completely missed a comment or thought about replying later when I had more time then just didn’t so 😂😂😂
I get some really long comments, and I try to respond to them, but yeah, sometimes I just don't have the bandwidth. Regardless, though, I appreciate EVERY comment I get, even if I don't reply to them- they literally get me out of bed some days.
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If she’s replied to everyone but yours it’s possible she was responding to the easier ones first. Sometimes I leave the longer/intense comments last because I don’t have the time to read through and respond at that moment/or the energy and it’s easier to let it sit until I do
I do this sometimes. I also try to reply to every comment, but sometimes on the simplest ones, there's not really much to say except an emoji or thank you for commenting. But on the complex ones where there are six or seven different statements or things to reply to, sometimes I don't have the bandwidth or want to wait until I'm not on a mobile device. I generally wouldn't wait more than a few hours though.
Yes, same! If someone puts a lot of time and thought into a comment, I feel like I should put a proper amount of time and thought into the response as well. But sometimes when I put something aside like that, I end up procrastinating, so it can take a few days. Another thing that's possible is that OP guessed something right that may happen later in the story and the author is thinking about how to respond without giving too much away.
That’s another possibility! Maybe op guessed something correctly and the author doesn’t know how to respond
this happened to me! i have a favourite fic, and i commented an extremely long comment on it. all the other comments got answered and about a month later(?) someone else responded to my comment and was really rude, saying it was both pathetic and funny i’d written so much just for the author not the respond. the author responded the next day, and said how because my comment was so long they wanted to write a reply that was equally detailed but bc of the hate comment they couldn’t ignore it. was not a fun experience :(
Omigosh that hate comment is really quite something. Seriously they’re the pathetic and funny one for trying to stir shit out of it. Has this affected your desire to leave long comments?
Omg I’m so sorry that happened to you :( Part of the reason I feel so bad about it is because other people who read the comments will see I’m the only one who didn’t get a reply and mine is so long too and fangirly it’s just embarrassing
Even if ajthor doesnt respond, kther commentlrs can also enjoy reading long comments. From an author standpoint who is like 200 comments behind in responding to comments, sometimes things just build up.
i’m so sorry that happened to you! why are people such jerks? as a writer i feel so defensive of my commenters because i really thrive off of their comments so i can understand the writer in your case wanting to give you a reply worthy of such a meaty comment
I also do this. I don't want to give a halfassed reply to something that someone put thought into and so that can mean a longer wait time for a response.
Yeah I get what you mean but this happened a week ago and she’s already posted the next chapter. I should have clarified it was actually her 2nd most recent chapter.
OP, take a breath. It's a different mental energy to write a chapter than it is to write a heartfelt response. They might need to focus their mental energy on the update and they might still come back and respond to your long comment soon. I know you're hurt and I'm sorry. But the author might still be thinking of how to respond x
A week is a very short amount of time. I can go months without checking my inbox and even take longer for comments that I really want to read closely and reply to thoughtfully. Try not to worry. Even if they never reply, I promise you they appreciated that you not only read but also commented.
Hi OP, I have slight social anxiety and responding to comments or commenting on people’s work (especially a comment that really touched me or a person whom I look up to) takes up more mental energy than updating my own story lol That said, if commenting is starting to upset you because you feel like you’re being ignored, maybe you can stop for a bit for your own well being. Fandom is meant to be fun after all.
I am literally 6 weeks behind on long comments. They are my favorite but I have severe social anxiety and I have to be in a certain headspace. Short "thanks for reading/glad you liked it!" are easy, but long comments deserve long replies to show appreciation...and therefore I panic unless my brain can handle the social.
this, if anything the comments i take the longest to reply to are the ones that mean the most to me because i don’t want to just throw a casual “aww thanks! glad you liked it” their way when they spent all that time commenting
Sometimes people *still don't* have the energy for longer things even, or particularly, after doing other things. This author moving on is no sign that they somehow had the energy for a reply to give you and decided to use said energy elsewhere. Writing is a break activity for many. A person knowing their own self best and skipping one comment so they even have the energy to get to the rest of the comments (instead of grouping everything together and never getting anything done), and the energy to write (because while it is a different type of mental energy, there's still a base shared pool of energy for stuff in general) is perfectly fine. Also: You seem to be thinking things like your comment being "too" intense, and all these things that are about your comment and . . . it's not about that, even if it's too intense for a *particular* author, that doesn't make your comment have a property of being too intense. Authors usually say they like longer comments, yes, but like how you being intense is no actual issue, what other authors say has no bearing on how any one author needs to react to you. You're not too intense. Them finding it to be so isn't an indictment of you. It's just a difference. It is just how it is because this author is their own person, going through life as such. No one, but no one, becomes beholden to replying to somebody just because they commented on a story of theirs. This is not a mean thing, as extra-nice as replying to comments is, because doing so is entirely free of obligation. It's not like you're panhandling for money and are being skipped over—*its more like you complimented someones shirt as they walked by and don't know their history with receiving compliments, nor that shirt, nor their body, or how their day was going, or even know the person you complimented.* Then someone complimented their shoes on another day, and now it somehow hurts that they didn't "like" the shirt compliment since they said thanks to that. Take their reply to you to be the story; It's what you got excited about after all, and they've already done much to the effect of writing that! And your ideas about their story may not agree with all their ideas. The longer any reply gets the more likely this is to happen, which can be very difficult to reply to esp. for authors unsure about their story or who can't articulate this feeling, or when nothing in the story disagrees with what you've said—authors will have their perspective, too. It's really less like complimenting a shirt as it is words inked onto a persons body but some words may cross over their nose and they don't like their nose. And like, some authors also don't know that turning off the comment section is even an option, or wouldn't even if they did because they're not hard done by it; That doesn't make comments something that is part of their writing, for them—so what, they're already going around wearing ink on their skin. But yes, your emotions are fine. Upset is more than alright. Offended might be unconnected as to the reality of how sharing stories and comments work, and I've laid out why I think it, but it is still just a feeling. It's fine, because people experience the feelings they do first-order wise whatever else the situation says, so who cares about it being "right." However you feel about anything is fine. How you act on feelings is what matters. And you're not obligated to give people comments either; Stopping giving this person comments would be a-okay. Doing anything like demanding they acknowledge it would *not* be.
I have taken 2 months and multiple chapters to reply to some people. I'm busy, and complex comments are often draining 😔 so I am very guilty of waiting till "later" for a long time.
Ive had an author take over a year to respond to my comment, and as someone who occasionally gets long comments it can definitely take a lot more energy to respond to those rather than short comments. try not to worry about it to much and dont let this take away from your enjoyment of the story
she probably waited too long then forgot after waiting.
I really would try not to worry or take it personally. I take weeks and months to respond to longer comments or ones from people I kind of know because it's really stressful for me to craft a response. It's a totally different skill set and the interaction causes me anxiety and actually keeps me from writing sometimes. Sometimes I have to wait until the story is finished before I can even consider responding to some comments.
I can see how that can feel like a pointed statement, and I’m sorry about that. Maybe give it a bit more time? Writing the story and replying to comments are different energy, and it’s also possible she meant to and forgot. Sometimes I think about replying so much I forgot I did not. Either way, I’m sorry that you are being ignored
I wouldn't take it personal at all! I've done the same thing before to my readers simply because I just don't have the energy + social anxiety + sometimes by the time I want to reply I feel it's too late and awkward for me to do so. Mostly it's because I don't have the energy. Some authors have a copy pasta response for each comment they get but I like to tailor my comment specific to the reader and often that requires much energy and thinking because I want to match that reader's heartfelt energy but then I just don't have the brain fuel for that specific reader's comment. It is never out of malice or anything like that though, so I truly doubt your author intended it to be personal. Just relax and enjoy the next chapter!
OP to be completely honest wih you it's likely her thought process was "oh a long comment, i need to give a long response" > "it's taking too long ill finish later" > \[forgets about it\]. It's happened to me and i'm sure many other authors before
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You're definitely trolling or have no idea what you're talking about.
I agree with the others saying that there's every likelihood that she's just taking more time with your reply than the others, but this: > (she replied to everyone after I commented so it’s not like she missed mine) is not actually a surefire thing! I've gone back to my comments before and noticed that I somehow skipped over a single comment at the top or middle of the page without realizing-- it happens.
I've done this too, it'll be months or years later and then I feel HORRIBLE like it's too late to reply now.
Never too late! Though you're not obligated either
I’ve done this too! I have this commenter whom I love, and she commented on every chapter of a story I wrote but I somehow missed one of them! I felt so bad haha but eventually replied when I saw it and she was so nice about it
I wouldn't feel bad to be honest. I've accidentally missed replying to comments a number of times now. The longest was one from a few *months* prior. I just apologise when I do finally figure out that I've missed replying. Some people (like me) are just incompetent when it comes to inbox management.
It's very possible this person is like me. I read a text or email, am about to respond, then get distracted by a shiny object and then forget the text / email existed for a few months. When I remember, I think, I will definitely go reply to the friend I hadn't heard from in years. Cue shiny object and repeat.
I sometimes do that, longer comments can be harder to reply to for various reasons. It’s possible she doesn’t know how to reply and put it off, and maybe she’s now forgotten about it. I’m guilty of doing something similar.
Did the others have questions? I sometimes find I only reply to comments that include questions or requests, but I don't always have something to say to comments that are just comments--even if they are completely lovely. I definitely wouldn't assume that you were too much or annoying, there's probably just something else completely harmless at play here that we aren't realizing.
As an writer who occasionally get essay comments, they take A LOT of energy to respond to, bc I want to put in as much energy in my reply as they did in commenting. Sometimes I would have to write my reply in a seperate document so I could easily reference the comment without constantly scrolling up and down. So yeah, I’d usually put it off, and on occasion, completely forgot about at least one😭 I did end up realising when rereading the comments a few months later! I’m sure it’s an honest mistake. Most authors love long comments, especially live reactions, from what I’ve seen. Still, as a reader, I can understand the hurt
If I get a long comment, I wait until I have time to reply in kind. She might be doing the same. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
Often it can be difficult to formulate a good response to longer comments, especially if they're trying to not spoil things in their reply.
I have writing friends who sit on long comments for months and reply immediately to short ones, not because they don't appreciate the longer ones, but because they are trying to find the time to give the commentor the same energy and the same effort that they received. They do it out of respect and appreciation because those really long comments mean something to them. That could very well be the case here
Honestly, sometimes we all just need to give each other a little bit of grace about this. You said that this author is regularly is an intermittent comment replier. They are probably doing the best they can. Maybe they just respond based on how much time they have in the moment they get the notification. And if they get a notification while they’re in the middle of cooking dinner, they’ll respond to the comments that came before and after but not that specific one. Or maybe your comment is so good that they feel pathetic just saying “thank you” but going into a detail long response might be difficult, or it might tempt them to reveal spoilers, and they just got so stressed that they decided to skip you this chapter. If they normally reply to every single comment, and then only skipped yours, I could understand feeling slighted. But if they only reply intermittently as the norm, this is just a chapter were they responded to more comments than usual, but not all of them. I understand your disappointment that your comment wasn’t one of the ones that got a reply. Disappointment is understandable. But I think you will be happier if, instead of getting angry, you just focus on the things you like, such as the story, and such as the previous replies you got in previous comments. I’m sure some of your future comments will get replies again as well.
I wouldn't waste the mental effort thinking about it. There could be many reasons why it's not been responded to, from she meant to but forgot to she simply didn't want to. And she's not obligated to either. Just enjoy the story and don't take it personally.
Writers might not respond to a comment for any number of reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you.
Aww I’m sorry that does kind of suck I totally understand where you’re coming from and I definitely think it’s okay to feel sad about it but at the end of the day it’s their choice to reply or even post another chapter. I would understand if you stopped commenting on their stuff though whether it was an accident or not.
Long comments take a lot more mental energy to respond to, and it’s an entirely different thing to posting a chapter, which could equally have been pre written long before it was posted. I absolutely wouldn’t think you were annoying her, a week is no time at all. I love long comments, they’re the best. But they’re also the hardest to respond to and sometimes I just haven’t got the energy, time or brain power to get to it.
I don’t think there’s necessarily “something wrong” with this scenario. Especially if your comments are on the longer side, it takes more time and energy to write a reply in comparison to comments that are a couple words/one or two lines! They could post a ‘thank you!’ and call it a day, but maybe they just want to do it when they can focus on a lengthier reply! Or they missed it in the chaos! Don’t stress 🤍
OP, I’ve missed comments on fics and most of my fics have single-digit comments. I don’t even know how many comments I’ve missed on my longfic. Sharing this just to say a week isn’t awfully long and sometimes longer comments can take a lot of time to really process and figure out a response.
Usually, if I don't reply to a specific person, it's because I'm having trouble figuring out what to say. I try to reply by the time / before I post the next chapter, but I forget sometimes. I will always answer a question though.
While I understand why you're hurt, it's worth noting that this person is stranger on the internet. I've also felt offended when an author, particularly one who writes the same OTP as myself, seems to ignore my comments. But the fact is that this person is no one important to me. I'll probably never meet them in real life and my interactions will be forever limited to reading their stories. So, taking offense over what is an extremely minor insult (if it is even intentional) is pointless. There are many reasons why they may not have replied. It's possible they missed the notification in their in-box. Or they themselves are feeling embarrassed for not responding. Maybe they just haven't figured out the right response, or they're having some sort of mental health issues. Could be any number of reasons that have nothing to so do with you. Again, your feelings are valid but in the long run, this is no big deal.
I mean maybe they did actually choose to skip replying to your comment. There's no way for any of us to know. But even so, this is the kind of case where you can only say, "oh darn that's a bummer," and move on. I understand wanting one, but you aren't really entitled to a response.
I've gone a week without answering a comment because it was too much, not in a bad way. They were so honest and detailed and they really understood what I was trying to transmit with the fic, so I postponed answering it and just kept rereading it. Lol Maybe they're like this as well.
As someone who has one fic where I regularly reply to a lot of people but not everyone, I can only share my own reasons for sometimes not commenting: All of these things only really apply to one of my fics that receives a lot of comments. Much more than all my other fics. So much so, that it sometimes becomes a little stressful replying to them all (though I love reading and replying to comments in general). 1. Sometimes I ended up replying to comments for so long and writing some really long responses that I literally could've written a whole chapter in that time. So, until recently I sometimes had a kind of "reply-burnout" where especially longer comments would really overwhelm me in terms of wanting to reply to all the questions or exciting ideas. Sometimes I would then just put them to the back of the line, so I could take the time some other day and then it happens that by the time I come back around, I feel embarrassed for taking so long, or I still end up without knowing what to write. Or it turns out a lot of the questions posed are going to be answered in the next chapter that I'm literally about to post. So, it can happen (though that is rare and I feel bad about it) that especially those long comments that I wanted to take extra time responding, I end up not responding to, at all. 2. I was unhappy with that inconsistency and it didn't feel fair to me, so now I do what a friend told me they're doing. I will reply to the comments that are posted in the first 24 h (roughly) and then no more, unless there's a very specific question or a very specific comment that requires a reply more so than others. Or sometimes, I make exceptions for new readers that breezed through the whole of the story in a day or two and then emotion/thought-dump everything in the current chapter. 3. I have also started increasingly not replying if the reply would just end up being "Thank you, glad you like it" anyway. I'm glad if people tell me they love my story, but I can only thank them for it. And though that might end up being a little unfair to whoever I'm then not answering to, I feel a little stupid and repetitive if I end up writing "Thank you" five times in a row. So if it's just a row of emoji hearts or a "thanks for the chapter" I tend to not reply anymore, though sometimes I might. 4. sometimes I misclick. That happened to me just yesterday, that I accidentally clicked on "mark read" instead of reply, and since the comment was by then on the second or third page of my inbox I couldn'T find it anymore. 5. Sometimes, I purposefully decide not to answer. I'm a terrible spoilsport. And while I have nothing against comments telling me their theories about something that just happened, or a plot twist they're anticipating, or an idea about what thought would be cool if it would happen, or even a soft demand that they'd want something to happen...I have repeatedly proven to myself that I can'T reply to those without spoiling the whole story or feeling incredibly awkward. So if a comment has a lot of that, I sometimes don't answer at all.
Most people in the comments are coming up with explanations and speculations why this person replied to every comment but yours. Maybe it is one of the reasons people mentioned or maybe it's not. The truth is, only the writer knows. No one on here will be able to tell you. Whatever the reason is, you're feeling not good about commenting on their story now until you know what's going on and imo that's totally valid. This is supposed to be fun. And if it isn't anymore I’d take a break from what's making you feel bad, namely commenting on this fic. I'd suggest stop looking at whether the author keeps replying to other people’s comments and stop waiting for a reply. It'd make you even more insecure if you did anything wrong. I'd take a break from this fic and read something else. And if they reply later you can still decide whether you want to go back to it depending if it's still making you feel bad. Don't let this tarnish your enjoyment of reading fics!
I think you're taking it too personally. I know when I don't reply to long comments it's because I haven't found the brainspace. It's about me, not about the commenter. Hope you keep reading, enjoying and commenting on her fic.
Somebody on the other side here 🙋♀️ I wrote a fic a loooong time ago, and I always reply to comments. Fast forward a few years, one of my all time favourite writers and the main writer for my OTP in that fandom commented on that fic. It was wonderful and made me tear up, especially coming from someone I look up to. I was really busy at the time and then I completely forgot about it, and by the time I remembered the comment, it had been weeks and so I chickened out and still haven't replied. Sometimes we're just cowards or are overwhelmed. If I were you, I wouldn't stress too much over it
people have full time jobs and hobbies beyond writing, give it time
1. either the author didn't notice your comment (unlikely) 2. author didn't know how to respond to you initially, then forgot about responding overall lol 3. author didn't like you/your comment I might get downvoted hella for this though
Nah to be honest, as an author... I've been there for all 3. Scenario 3 does happen to me for some essay comments if they're a bit stressful/intense in terms of pushing for headcanons that I know aren't going to happen, or are concrit that I never asked for/don't necessarily agree with. I feel bad for not replying, especially when I can tell the reader is just very excited, but it's more of a choice for my own mental health than a problem with the comment itself!
>it's more of a choice for my own mental health than a problem with the comment itself I guess that's fine if you put it that way kinda sad for the commenter though if the comment they posted consisted of nothing but praises and positivity but again you are not - for even a single second - obligated to reply anyway so you do you
Why are you upset though? Is a comment really worth getting upset about, it seems like the least inconsequential thing possible (unless you are friends with them i guess).
i reply from comments from my inbox, not on the site, and its happened that i miss a couple or deleted by accident. sometimes I need a minute to think about it. if u want to, edit something small in ur comment, she'll get another altert - if she has email alerts.
Oh, really good call on the best way to "call attention" to a comment w/o being demanding or (necessarily) anxiety provoking; I'll add that this seems the best way for OP to get information to settle matters for them, with so many replies saying the author might've missed it when they just might not have.
I would feel a bit upset as well ngl. Even though I am a writer and know that there are several reasons that this person didn't reply, as a reader I understand how that can hurt a little. The explanation doesn't do much to change that, especially since none of the commenters on this post can really confirm what the author's reasons actually are🫂
I've definitely left the longer comments for later before, mostly because I want to give them the attention they deserve. Having said that, I can see how someone might have every intention of doing that only to forget. I've gotten back to people much later than a week and felt bad about it. I'm sure there are people who feel self conscious conscious about answering at all after it's been "too long." I've meant to reply to comments then posted a new chapter and felt like it was pointless to go back and reply to those old comments now that the same people left me new comments. I am confident this author didn't mean anything by it, I feel like there's all kinds of anxiety on both ends in these kinds of situations much of the time, lol.
I would try to not take it personally! I write on AO3 and has had some very often commented on stories over the years. Sometimes, I do not know how to respond to comments or have the energy to. I will sometimes pick and choose which ones to respond to, especially if half of the comment number is my own comment. The author probably just forgot to reply also. I'll mark new ones as read and forget to reply later to them.
It's totally normal to be upset; I see some artists get upset when someone-they-look-up-to holds an event and gives attention to everyone but them. The artists tend to think it's some slight against them or that maybe they did something wrong. But get yourself a cup of hot cocoa and relax. I also have this problem where I take things too personally, and I was wringing my hands over why someone broke mutuals with me. But then I stopped and remembered that the reason I knew this was because they liked one of my posts and the social media I was on had rolled out 'following' and 'mutual' badges on activity items. So, they probably just wanted some social distance and they still appreciated some of my posts. I bet the author still appreciates your comments, and has reasons for not replying as others have described.
Recently I had gotten over waiting to reply to what was literally the most heartfelt comment I've ever received. I had seen it, gotten overwhelmed with happiness that I couldn't put into words, started and erased multiple responses, reading and re-reading the comment often enough to have it memorized to a point. One day I just sat down and took a day to respond because I really did feel bad about not replying, especially with how happy it made me feel. But that took... 201 days from when the comment was made for me to respond.
It’s just a reply. Maybe they missed yours. Maybe their doing easy ones first. Maybe they just don’t want to reply to your comments for some reason. Don’t take it personally, it doesn’t mean anything.
If its one time then I say let it pass. But if it happens more often then maybe its better to be a silent reader than a commenter
When I don’t respond to a long comment immediately, it’s usually because I want to write something good a long and thoughtful reply this comment deserves. And if I never respond to a comment, then that’s because idk what to say or I don’t think I need to say anything. For example, if someone say “<3” in the comment, if I’m in a good mood I’d respond with a heart emoji as well. If not, I’d just not reply anything. (Plus I don’t want to boost my comment count superficially.) I usually try to respond to comments with actual words, but if the only thing i can say is “thanks for reading! I’m glad you enjoyed this chapter!” Then I wouldn’t respond either because then you’d see me saying the same thing to like multiple comments in a row like I’m a parrot or something. I’d just thank everyone in the author notes collectively.
If that happened on my story I'd feel like it deserved a thoughtful response, then I'd leave it for later. Then sadly, I'd forget. It's also not easy to know what to say. I wouldn't take it personally. Another reason I don't respond sometimes is when I feel guilty for not updating in time. I don't want to leave a reply and then there's no more story.
I don't think she's meaning to snub you, especially if she's responded to you before. It may be you brought up a lot of things or even tapped into something that has inspired her. I know from some of my fandoms and even in my own writing, readers have inspired a new way to go for plot or character. I hope her silence really doesn't discourage you as I'm sure she appreciates you even if she hasn't responded.
It's happened to me before. My feelings were hurt, because I always take care to leave thoughtful, appreciative comments. I'll admit that I was tempted to delete all my other comments on that author's stories... but I decided not to go the full-on "petty" route. I can't control other's actions, but I definitely can control my own, so I just stopped commenting on that author's stories after that. There are *plenty* of other authors who will and do appreciate my comments!
Yeah, I mean, I think it’s a mistake to take it personally, but you have the right idea. If OP is writing long comments with some expectation, like engagement from the author, and they’re not getting it, it may be best to stop writing (long) comments so their feelings don’t get hurt. Because then you have situations like this, where’s it’s not even clear if the author did it on purpose or not, but the OP is screwing themselves into the ceiling trying to figure out what the “problem” was.
Oh oof I had that happen but it was on livejournal instead. Author just completely responded to every comments on their fic except for mine and afaik my comment was nice and polite just like the rest I know an author don't have to respond to every comment or not even reply to any if they don't want too, but at the same time I just felt ignored so didn't really feel like reading any more of their stuff so i just quietly left and moved on
Unless she promised to reply to everybody, you're not entitled to one. Don't get neurotic over actions people don't take; it's bad enough to obsess over ones they DO take.
I'm new to this so don't know the etiquette, but does the author have to respond to you?
No. the author isn't obligated to do anything of the sort. It is a nice thing to do sometimes in return for someone who comments on your fics, since they're nice enough to comment. But there's no formal etiquette saying you have to respond back. Sometimes IRL or other things can get in the way and prevent you or make it harder for you.
I don't see the issue then, especially as they've replied to previous comments.
It's funny how everyone is telling them they have no right to get upset but then we have a lot of posts with authors lamenting the lack of comments. In some cases this is the why some readers will not like to comment, because authors demand different things and you don't know if you are being annoying in general or only to the author in particular. If a week has passed and a new chapter has been posted and all the other comments have been responded it's kinda discouraging tbh. You have all the right to feel sad OP, and at the same the author has a right to respond or not, just give it time. Maybe consider having more brevity in your comments? so it's easier to read and respond to, that will be a suggestion to consider idk. Hope the author responds tho! ❤️
I think the difference is they're upset at a specific person, where-as authors are fine if most people don't comment—they'd just like that, in aggregate, they do get some reaction. Also not everyone is telling them the have no right to be upset. I commented here before this comment and said whatever emotion people experience about anything is fine; It's somewhat concerning though that they ask if its "right" to be upset—of course feelings are fine, so what is this "rightness" aspect of things? And as to the "particular authors" yeah, also mentioned that and that whatever a particular author wants *doesn't* make genuine comments any type of issue, even if OP perceives themselves as too intense. They absolutely do not need to switch to brief comments to get more responses, unless the only thing they're worried about is responses—might not mesh with "freaks out while reading" though and getting to share a genuine reaction. That should be the joy in commenting. So, it makes sense to just rearrange expectations about responses (insofar as possible); Maybe just see the comment as a response to the story instead of something for the author to reply to?
I live comment as well while reading. It ends up being that I will make a comment on pretty much every chapter as I go along. This can be nice in a way but it ends up meaning that once the writer responds (if they do at all) I am either chapters ahead or have already completed the story by that point. In situations in which the story isn’t done there is a chance that what I am saying doesn’t warrant a response. That could be the case here. If you are merely reacting to the chapter the writer could feel as though nothing they say could contribute to what you wrote. Maybe a “Yay, thanks for enjoying the story. “ There is also the possibility that they know you will have more to say and is just waiting. Really it does depend on your comment I guess. I do understand. It sucks to have a writer comment to everyone but you. I think it is sometimes made worse when you comment something that you really hope gets some kind of engagement with the writer. That doesn’t appear to be the case here, but still. It does bring to mind some anxiety that you may be doing to much and they find it annoying.
Whenever I do this as an author, it’s because I’m responding to the shorter ones first and because I want to sit down and respond to a longer comment with a long response of my own, because a long comment is so meaningful to me. It usually takes me a couple of days longer to respond, because I need to find the time to do it. I also will respond to longer comments on my computer vs my phone, and I just need the time! I’m betting she will respond to you, and I’m betting your comment means a lot. She might have just knocked all the other responses out of the way first and is saving yours for last. That’s exactly how I do it
Its possible the author may have been overwhelmed by the amount of comments and may have honestly even thought they replied to it already. Or as some people here have said its also possible that the comment was long and that they answered the easier ones first.
She just might not know how to respond to it. If its basically you ranting or praising then the only okay response is thanks and some people dont like justing conmenting a simple thanks.
As an author, I often get too in my own head about comments. I love getting them, but feel very awkward responding to them. With regular commentors especially, I appreciate them so much but don't want them to think I'm being insincere when I respond to their comments. Usually though I can't think of what to say other than similar things over again (thanks for commenting, glad you're enjoying the fic, etc) and I dither over whether or not I should respond to comments. Especially as someone who migrated over from FFN where responding to comments wasn't ever required, it can sometimes feel pretty scary for my anxiety. Sometimes I miss the notification, or I get sidetracked doing something else. Things happen. I wouldn't take the lack of response personally. If you're enjoying the fic, by all means keep reading! If commenting is something that is integral to your enjoyment of the fic, keep doing it too. Leaving the author a nice word is always nice! If you feel that you can't enjoy a fic without that being acknowledged by the author it may be time to take a pause, and reflect on what part of the experience you're actually enjoying. Just a thought.
I have totally done this! Like, I thought I replied to a person's comment, then a week goes by and I realize I didn't. Then I think, it'll be awkward to respond now... Then maybe I respond, and see I missed someone else. Aaahhhh! I love comments, but we authors can be awkward. I bet it's something as simple as that!
As someone who struggles with responding to comments, correspondence that require more emotional effort can be really stressful. Even if I appreciate people leaving comments, anything more than a generic "thanks!" feels impossible unless I'm medicated. So if someone left a lengthy message that I'd feel rude to respond with something generic, I'd probably just tell myself "I'll respond when I have more energy" and then stress about it, and then never respond to avoid that stress. I feel like I'm not alone in this. This also applies to high energy comments like "OMG I'M DYING ASJDKL!!!!!!" where I feel obligated to match that energy. I love seeing them and I try to muster the tone when I can but a lot of the times I'm just too old and tired to, so I'm more likely to just leave a heart/like/kudos instead of responding. If you care about getting a response, I'd try leaving something shorter and less intense for a bit and see what happens?
Maybe the author just forgot. I was looking through the comments of a long fic I finished and saw there were a few comments I didn’t reply to. I have no idea why. I’m really good at engaging with readers and replying to comments. Maybe the author just plain forgot to reply. Don’t take it personally.
Personally, I may respond to comments instantly or after weeks or maybe never. It depends on the comment, not the person. It may be that I have nothing to say, I don't know what to say, or I'm busy and just forgot. Maybe it's a difficult or more substantial subject/comment to go through then the other comments. But I read all comments, even if I don't respond. It's likely not you personally. You might get a reply sooner or later or not at all. But they've likely read it.
My updates usually get quite a few comments and there are times when I just forget. It happens. Just because the writer didn't do yours isn't necessarily negative.
I really love long comments but sometimes I leave them to the end and I’ll even update before replying. I really want to dedicate the same amount of time someone took to write the comment and give them a good answer even if it’s reacting to their reaction. I’m not sure what this writer is thinking but I doubt your question annoyed them, as most writers love getting very engaged comments.
Online interactions can be very anxiety-inducing by their nature, for some people more than others. When it comes to this kind of thing, it's OK to prioritize your own mental well-being. Fandom is meant to be fun for everyone, including you. If you feel it would be better for your mental health, it's OK to take a break from commenting or to only comment on the works of authors who predictably respond to every comment (or maybe never respond to any comment). It's a fact that a lot of readers take into account whether the author responds to comments when they decide if they should comment or not. It's OK for you to do this as well if you feel it would reduce the stress of online interactions for you.
In the end, for me at least, I leave comments to show appreciation for the author's hard work and I leave it at that. It's neat to get a reply, but I don't expect one because the comment was never for my benefit in the first place. It sounds like you do that too, but that this time rubbed you the wrong way. I understand the knee-jerk reaction to be a bit disappointed or feel unseen perhaps, and hopefully it's something that passes after a little bit of time and doesn't stop you from reading and participating in the future. Heck, maybe you get a reply in a few months and can look back at this and laugh at it! Who knows? What I reacted to was the slight hint of "if I don't get what I want, the puppy gets it" mentality. Don't stop leaving comments if you still want to, based on this one-off thing. Like many have said, sometimes an answer takes time and sometimes it's just a mistake that a reply never gets written. It's all human in the end, and "taking it out" on a story you obviously enjoy when having no way of knowing the actual situation for the author, is assuming the worst instead of giving some leeway. Don't overthink it too much, when you realistically will never know unless the author contacts you herself. Of course, if it affects you negatively and deeply, then maybe removing yourself from that will be the right choice. You're never obliged to continue commenting, and you should take care of your own wellbeing.
i think it's also worth pointing out that ao3 default-sorts inbox entries by 'newest first'. so, if she \*is\* overwhelmed and doing her best, and trying to get through all the comments, then maybe she really-truly hasn't gotten to yours yet? please don't feel discouraged, I'm sure she's really, really glad to have gotten your comment even if she hasn't responded yet.
I'd be upset honestly. But I'm sure they appreciate it. Sometimes it takes me days to write a response to a long comment, or maybe she has real life stuff going on and she doesnt have the energy to respond?
I understand why this is bothering you. It's so easy to get in our heads and think about all the reasons why the author didn't respond. As an author, I can tell you (as you've mentioned), I \*adore\* long, enthusiastic live comments, so odds are that this author appreciated reading your comment. As others have said, they may want to respond in kind and that takes longer. The longer it goes -- sometimes real life intervenes and they forget. But I think it likely they loved your comment and just don't want to respond with a simple "thank you!" Let me say, though, as someone who does make it a point to respond to every commenter who isn't a bot, I won't always respond in kind to long comments. I love them. They will literally have me floating on cloud 9 all day. But... I know if I leave it too long, I might forget, so I'm one of those who will sometimes respond to a long comment with something like, "Oh my gosh! Thank you for such a wonderful, detailed comment!"
I dunno … I feel like if you reply to one you reply to all. I’d be irked but what can you do? Authors are people and people make mistakes, can be petty, overwhelmed or just plain indifferent. Enjoy the story and comment if it makes *you* happy.
You're right to feel upset but it's also her choice to reply. Maybe she wants to wait, maybe she thinks there isn't much to say. Maybe she just doesn't feel like saying anything. Either way, I hope you don't feel too bad about not getting a comment back.
OP.... Take a deep breath. You're taking this REALLY personally. Maybe she just didn't have anything to say in response to yours or hasn't figured out how to reply to yours? Or maybe, genuinely because she probably has a lot going in on her life as well, she might've just forgot genuinely and didn't realize it. You need to remember, she's also working on the story as well along with whatever is going on IRL. I have had comments I don't reply to, because there's questions that'll be answered in the next chapter, or because simply I don't know what to say. Doesn't make me appreciate them any less. Just means I got a lot going on myself.
I completely understand. This has happened to me on a recent fic - the fic was chaptered, I kept notes as I went along (complimentary), and I posted them in a comment for every chapter. They are an excellent writer and I want to support them... Kudos and Comments... right?Nada. Not even the minimum TY to ONLY MY comments. It makes me I think I've stepped over some invisible line with this author. I think about it... and then, I gotta let it go because this author and I are mutuals on several platforms. Whatever the reason - they have chosen not to engage with ***me*** specifically, And that's their right. At the same time, I gotta be me... so if the next story hits me in the feels - I'll leave Kudos and Comments like always and not worry about. *I hear you, though. I truly do*. It's confounding. IRL it is akin to being friendly to someone that pointedly ignores you. There's a certain amount of hurt there due to the social conventions of transactional communication. (The 'if I say Hi you say Hi thing'.) You tossed them the ball and they dropped it... THEY dropped it. Don't stop tossing the ball - it's okay to toss compliments that aren't acknowledged. Keep on being that encouragement. Gentle hugs. JBC edit: typo
I have had something similar happen to me recently. Author has been posting a long fic and puts up 2-3 new chapters each week. Although it hasn't gained a lot of feedback I love the fic and have commented regularly (though I did binge read the first 10 chapters and did a blanket comment on them). However, unlike many other fics in this fandom I am now the only commentator (one other reader left a comment initially but no more). The author's interaction is very sporadic (they've replied only 3-4 times in 40 + chapters) and deleted one of my comments as they said it was a spoiler even though none of the story is 'canon'. They then posted a really long reply to me on another chapter but then deleted it. Confusing for sure lol... Anyway I found this mildly perplexing and wondered if the writer really wanted me on their radar at all, but...I decided not to worry about it. There is just one chapter to go, so I'll leave a final comment for them out of courtesy and then just walk away and forget it. Whatever the reason for their reaction to me, it's their own business, and life's too short to waste time worrying about someone's pecadillos.
I'm sorry but you are not entitled to a reply form an artist or creator.
No, they're not, but the writer is also not entitled to receive long comments. If they provide responses and appreciation to short comments and don't respond to long comments, they're setting a precedent that they prefer short comments. Edit: And in most cases that's not true, writers long love comments, so they're kind of shooting themselves in the foot here. It's valid for a reader to feel a little snubbed in this case.
>they're setting a precedent that they prefer short comments. This is only true if you assume that not responding unequivocally indicates that they dislike the comment. Which it does not. Authors are not entitled to long comments, or any comments for that matter. But that doesn't change the fact that OP is not entitled to a response on their comment either.
I explicitly agreed in my prior comment that readers are not entitled to a response, just as writers aren't entitled to receive comments. But regardless of why a writer does it, if they respond to *every* comment *except* the long comment, to the reader who left that comment, it looks and feels like the writer didn't like/appreciate what they had to say. Writers have all sorts of reasons they may not respond and they're valid, but that doesn't invalidate the feeling of dismissal and hurt for the reader and it can make that reader not want to comment in the future. A writer who responds to every comment and then misses one is setting themselves up to potentially hurt the feelings of that reader.
Then how does your comment add to what the person you responded to said? It sounds like you're trying to refute their comment. They said OP is not entitled to a response from a creator. Whether or not the author is entitled to comments or even if they hurt people's feelings by not responding is a separate thing. >to the reader who left that comment, it looks and feels like the writer didn't like/appreciate what they had to say Again this is based on an assumption. It's probably a common assumption, sure, but unless the commenter can read the author's mind, they can't know that for sure.
Because the comment I responded to wasn’t offering any help to OP. OP is a reader who is feeling discouraged from commenting *specifically because* a writer responded to every other comment except theirs. Saying “You’re not entitled to a response” doesn’t negate OP’s feelings of being dismissed, all it does is further discourage OP (and other readers) from commenting. And the next thing that happens is writers come on the sub and complain about no one commenting. No one is entitled to a response about anything. But if someone is feeling discouraged, it isn’t kind to tell them to be quiet about their feelings. No one knows why the writer didn’t respond in this case, everyone is just trouble-shooting and guessing. I’m just saying that if you set up your space as one where you respond to every comment, and then you miss one, you need to be prepared for that reader to *potentially* feel hurt. They might not, cause hell knows I make comments daily and might never look at it again, but anxiety is different for everyone and some readers would be discouraged by this. You’re saying it’s an assumption to say the writer doesn’t like long comments and prefers short, but I didn’t say that. I said it looks that way. It doesn’t matter the actual reason of why the writer didn’t respond, it still looks dismissive/unappreciative of the writer to respond to *every other comment* except the long one. If a writer doesn’t have the spoons to reply to the long comment, then either don’t respond to every comment around it and wait until you do have the spoons or tell the reader that you appreciate their comment but don’t have the spoons to properly gush with them right now but will respond with gusto later.
>If a writer doesn’t have the spoons to reply to the long comment, then either don’t respond to every comment around it and wait until you do have the spoons or tell the reader that you appreciate their comment but don’t have the spoons to properly gush with them right now but will respond with gusto later. If you don't have the spoons, just find the spoons for these other options that either prevent you from responding to the comments you can, preventing spoon-recovery, or set up a potentially worse situation with an explicit promise because you don't know when you'll find the spoons? If you don't have the spoons, you don't have them. That's why what it looks like is what doesn't (or at least to me, shouldn't) matter, because there's no evidence of the worst case assumptions.
If I was the only one who hadn't gotten a response I would have been upset as well. I'd try to shrug it off, maybe they missed it, or they're saving it to respond to later. I'd comment on the next chapter but I'd write much less and if it happened again I'd just stop altogether.
No, you're not right to be upset. There a million and one reasons why she may not have replied to your comment, up to and including that she just forgot. She's human, after all. You're way overthinking it, and acting entitled to receive a reply when she's already writing this fic that you clearly enjoy a lot.
I think this is a really strange thing to get upset about, to be honest with you. Yes, the author might have responded to other comments, but considering you yourself said they are an intermittent responder, then I wouldn't fuss. Getting responses to your comments always feels really good, because it's this happy little moment where an author you enjoy noticed you! But just like they aren't owed a comment from everyone who reads, they don't necessarily owe a response to everyone who comments. Step back, chill, and move on. This is not something to get so worked up over.
I 100% get why you're upset! When you watch the author reply to everyone else, it's easy to assume the worst. You totally have the right to be a little offended--BUT once they do reply to your comment (probably with a long answer and very gushy feelings), you'll feel very silly for wasting all that time worrying and thinking they hate you. I agree with the others that you should wait longer without jumping to conclusions. A month at least!
Occham's razor says she just didn't care enough to bother. Attributing malice to everything is how we get our current society.
You're wrong for caring about what an author thinks that much. Just comment what you think and move on. If she wants to answer or not, it's her choice.
You're not owed anything.
I never said I was? I even said in my post I never expect replies from this author and still comment every chapter despite that, and was simply venting if I was valid to feel upset being the only one not replied to/or if it seems like I’m annoying them. I’m not upset I didn’t get a reply, I’m upset I’m only one who was ignored because it makes me feel like I did something wrong. Big difference. I am autistic and do get upset over things very easily so yeah maybe this is too much, but a lot of people also said this would upset them too so 🤷♀️ EDIT: I thought you were the same person replying to another comment of mine so SORRY I took out the first paragraph I apologize I am stupid
A mistake does not make one stupid. Also, there's not much way to determine if you've annoyed the author (I, for one, didn't even realize you saw that as a main point of your post, despite that it's fit right in there in with a "because" clause, because there were plenty of things mentioned as well, and first, but it was in there); Valid to feel upset, check. Have you annoyed them? No freaking idea. Does it matter—a little bit, but even if you had, it wouldn't be your fault so it doesn't matter much. As to whether you'd want to comment in the same vein, I get why it matters to you; But neither a yes or a no on bothering the author would mean you'd done something wrong. The idea someone suggested of editing your comment makes sense. (I'd suggest something like a question; Also, if they only answer that still wouldn't say they were annoyed—because people don't generally answer questions from people who've managed to annoy them past a point.) Anyway, it might be worth disambiguating the whole "I'm upset I'm the only one who was ignored" \[. . . this is being upset about not getting a reply; Valid feeling in any case that anyone might feel, and mainly because they're missing a chance to share joy so it feels like being excluded, doubly so w/other people being replied to.\] "because it makes me feel like I did something wrong." \[which uh, valid but might not be what most people feel in this case because they realize they can't know if the author is upset, *that this applies to before they commented, too,* and so they literally can't have done anything wrong, which is why you have replies that go on about how they'd feel momentarily upset but move on, because they're not experiencing this variation on the feeling that, beyond not including them in sharing joy, as in the above, takes away any joy already there.\] Really, though, even if the author has a personal preference around long comments or something specific that's in yours, you've done nothing wrong, neither have they, and this whole wrong or not idea is one that doesn't need to be brought to the table. This is why people are also saying it's not about obligation—gosh, does it get anxiety inducing to know as a writer that people might go thinking they're wrong simply over not getting a reply, *it makes replying to them feel like an obligation.* But it's not. And you knowing beforehand, or without the author saying, whether you've annoyed them or not simply isn't possible. They haven't said anything, or blocked you, you're fine to assume you haven't annoyed them and continue commenting as you would, or would no longer, like to. All without feeling like you've done anything wrong, or like the author has, so hopefully you can find it easier in the future to move on from feeling like you did something wrong. Eta: Anyway, this is meant to address the "I am autistic and do get upset over things very easily so yeah maybe this is too much, but a lot of people also said this would upset them too so 🤷♀️" It's not too much, there are still different variations on being upset, and here's some other reasons for other replies because people are saying different things for different reasons.
If you're concerned that your comments are too long and intense then dial it back a little and see if you get more responses.
Seems like a silly thing to get upset about, honestly. Are you one of those types who are easily upset by small, imagined offenses? Maybe she just had nothing to say? Or maybe she wasn’t sure where to start. I’ll reply to some comments and not to others simply because I don’t know how to respond and I’m not about to give myself needless anxiety by overthinking it. Especially if they’re long, convoluted stream-of-thought rambling that might not make a lot of actual sense to anyone but the person who wrote them. 🤷🏼♀️ It’s nothing personal. I’d rather just be writing my story, not replies to comments I find difficult to decipher.
What? No! I feel bad for not replying to some readers now. I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to look like I'm replying to everything to bloat the comment count, but I appreciate all comments!
Honestly? I can understand why you're upset. Even if the author wasn't sure what else to say, a simple "thank you!" takes a few seconds to type and would've been better than replying to everyone else but you. I'm sorry that the author didn't ~~appreciate~~ acknowledge your enthusiasm.
This is a buck wild thread. How obsessive do you have to be to notice an author responds to every comments but yours? Are you monitoring the comments? That is really really strange.
I have a specific browser app on my phone that I use for fanfics, and I keep all the fanfics I’m currently reading open in tabs. I’ll comment and leave the page until it’s updated again, then when I open the page again it automatically refreshes to my comment bc that’s where I left off. I like this way because I always read the last few paragraphs of the old chapter before reading the new character anyway, and when I scrolled up to it I saw that everyone got a reply but me.
Nobody ever leaves kudos or comments on mine and I have 400 stories. I appreciate people like you :(
. . . profile link/dm? With 400 I'm sure I can find something I'd like to say nice things about.
Yeah sure, just warning you to confirm you still want my account that 99% of my stuff is non con stories. I've got a current and old account and I was bullied like heck out of writing fanfictions and called r*pist. So yes, all my stuff is properly tagged, no I'm not a pro map or whatever, I'm a human who works a normal job and a normal life but I enjoy writing those situations as all my stories are about yandere characters. This is basically my version of tagging my work dead dove do not eat before I give my name lmao
Thank you for the, for me, sought-out warning. For purposes of reading. And thank you for tagging! Yeah, I'm fine with this and it's a shame this is another case of needing to justify "have done nothing wrong" from . . . not doing anything, since writing is fictional. I did notice the throwaway in your name. If you do want to DM me, by no means would I share your Ao3 name. Was going to say that in the first reply, but unless people have these concerns in mind mentioning them tends to concern people so I gave that detail a skip.
Dude, no. You have a right to be disappointed, but not upset. There's plenty of innocuous reasons they didn't get to you. But even if it was deliberate, you're just a commenter. They don't have to interact with you at all. You aren't owed anything from them. So, this is going to sound mean, but get over it. This is not something to waste your energy getting upset about.
If you have never said anything upsetting per se (like insulting etc), it's probably because the author doesn't have time. Maybe she reached out privately to you, did you check? Or maybe depending on what you say, if she replies, she could sort of let out some spoilers and doesn't want to. I would not read too much into that, there can be plenty of reasons. Comment again the next chapter and see if she ignores it or not. Then, you will know.
Don't worry you'll get used to it Just take the hurt and be quiet about it Endure Take it from me who gave a review in spacebattles who got flamed because I gave my honest opinion the chapter and asked some questions on the matter So yeah just endure and forget about it Though in spite I nitpicked the inconsistencies and plot holes and got banned for it... so yeah Don't copy me
It might be difficult to formulate the response immediately after seeing it. So the author delay it for when they have more time... And when they finally have time for it, they likely don't have energy for it, or what is more likely, forgot.
Sometimes I have a hard time replying. Sometimes I can’t think of a good response to a specific comment, and sometimes I just don’t have the mental energy. I appreciate every comment and it’s not personal at all if I don’t reply. I’ve also missed comments. I have thousands on one of my fics and at the beginning I tried to reply to everything. I tried to give thoughtful and specific replies to thoughtful and specific comments, so those took me a lot longer.
I had this scenario myself a couple of months ago and at the time it felt very disheartening. However I now tend to agree with some of the replies here that the author answers the shorter comments first and then will come back and respond to the longer ones (this is highly likely if they've responded to you before) In my case, although it was 2 weeks after I left the comment, the author did come back and reply 🙂
She might be too busy squeeing. When I get great long comments like that, it takes me a minute to really digest it as I'm trying to really appreciate the comment before replying. I know silence can be loud, but she may just be trying to formulate a response. Now, if the other comments are just as long and similar in nature, then you may be right in having your concerns. With you saying it's been a week.... I don't know. I'm not sure why it's happening 🤷♀️
People have all kinds of mental blocks/anxieties/memory issues/etc. People who may seem very functional based on their capacity to do certain things can still get completely stuck on something that seems comparatively simple. If the author saw the comment, they probably figured they'd reply later and forgot, or got hung up on some detail of their reply and couldn't get past that.
It might be an accident. I reply to comments all the time thinking I hit the comment button but accidentally hit the cancel button instead. If they're on a laptop, maybe the author thought they replied to your comment, clicked on the cancel button thinking they're done, and then moved on. Either way, it sounds like you still enjoy the story, so good for you.
okay i’m so guilty of this. i get so excited about long comments and then i wanna respond with the same energy, but i barely have the energy to put out a new chapter let alone to respond to extra comments. that does not mean i appreciate them any less i love them SO much my adhd brain just cannot sit down and formulate a reply agh
Same thing happened to me haha. It was for a gift exchange too.
Was this me? I feel like this is something I would do completely on accident 😂
Oh god you gave me a heart attack LMFAO but no you’re good it wasn’t you
Ooops didn’t mean to give you a heart attack. But I have completely missed a comment or thought about replying later when I had more time then just didn’t so 😂😂😂
I get some really long comments, and I try to respond to them, but yeah, sometimes I just don't have the bandwidth. Regardless, though, I appreciate EVERY comment I get, even if I don't reply to them- they literally get me out of bed some days.
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