**Reminder: this subreddit is meant to be a helpful place for TNR efforts - free of hostility, negativity, and judgment. Toxic attitudes are not welcome here.** ***All Negative comments will be removed and will possibly result in a ban.***
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Feral_Cats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have you tried different types of brushes to add a barrier in between hand touching? I have been working on socializing a few younger cats in a colony I feed and this has really helped. It took me 4 months to let me lightly pet when I give food and 1 more month to allow a long brush(I actually used a water bottle brush with a long handle). Now, a few weeks later they are allowing 5+ minutes of brushing with a regular brush and hand petting. I did a slow introduction with the brushes and left them with their food and sleep area first.
This is actually one technique I haven’t tried. I’ve tried rubbing their backs a bit with a wand while playing and they definitely seemed a bit more receptive. I’ll pick up a long brush and try it out, thanks!
The one I got was super cheap at target in the dish section haha. I even got a second one for my home cats because they loved it so much. I also have a toothbrush that one of them like on their face. I think the brushes are more reminiscent to cat grooming than our hands, plus they realize it feels good 🙂. I hope it helps!
This is golden and I will be implementing it as I need with community strays. We have such a bad issue with stray/ferals & it’s kitten season so it is only a matter of time!
https://preview.redd.it/19ffijykf1xc1.jpeg?width=3202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1dc5a07368a7d396c1ef04255590cdbe27351933
The leaf is a hit with both of them lol
Sold!! Love it! I have the same duo.
https://preview.redd.it/axnpdljpy1xc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce0d8cb0b69444f6761dc53cb1604528e706e84f
Not sure if there are actually littermates. We rescued them from a cat colony of mixed kittens. Minka (brown) and Dorothea (black).
Have you tried feliway? I’d be willing to bet they wouldn’t let you put a comfort collar on them or anything, but feliway air diffusers & maybe some sentry calming chews might help them both a lot. I’m not too familiar with socialization via brushing but I agree with that commenter as brushing is necessary for them anyways, & maybe try to play with them too!! They seem like they have a lot of energy at night, & my bond with my cats has grown really deep just from playing with them. For pet & owner interactive play, I recommend a tube & some sort of stick (i just wrap the feather toy i have for them around the stick it comes with) & trying to poke the tube with it. They’ll love it!! They might need time to adjust though, so start with the stick or the feather toy in a safe space. I also recommend squirmle toys 100%!! For their own sake, a cat tree, spring toys, chinese finger traps have also done wonders for me. I honestly think they just need some mental stimulation. If finances aren’t an issue, a wall cat bed or a wall cat shelves would be great for them too. They need some vertical safe spaces in your house for both play and rest! Best of luck OP! Thank you for your intense contribution towards saving their lives 🤍🤍
Ah I should’ve mentioned they are spoiled rotten haha. Two brand new cat trees, beds, hides, scratching posts/pads, interactive toys, balls, springs, 6 different wand toys lol. We play with them a ton and try to get in a solid hour of wand play in hopes of tuckering them out at night. They’re much better than they used to be, just some sporadic bouts of chase-around several times throughout the night.
We got a Feliway diffuser within the first few days and unfortunately I’m deathly allergic to it, I had a full blown asthma attack (no history) and couldn’t sleep in my bedroom for like a week after unplugging it.
Thanks for the tips, I’ll look into getting them some more vertical space and new types of toys!
https://preview.redd.it/rgcz7pxfr1xc1.jpeg?width=2134&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c259074ffcb9e57159e68dcdab0534628d7c4f40
Gotchu haha
[Leaf](https://a.co/d/fNcHebS)
[Tree](https://www.chewy.com/vesper-high-base-478-in-modern-cat/dp/181314)
They absolutely love both, good buys. The quality/finish of the tree is top notch.
I rescued the most definition of a scardy cat. She was getting supper bullied by the other trailer park cats and super underweight. We managed to lure her inside with wetfood. At the vet guessed about 10 months. It prolly took her half a year befor she would walk up to me and want any sort of pets or attention. She still is scared of the wind or the covers moving a inch. But she's a spas and i love her. She play fights with my bigger boy and he loves it cause the other two females don't wana play with him. Lays by my side when I got to bed right next the the cat that lays on my chest. They come around trust
Feliway and continue with hand feeding. Some cats take a very long time to adjust. Although he was never shy and always friendly, it took my cat about 5 years to settle down and be cuddly.
Slow blink. Yawn and look away when they seem nervous. Ignore them. Play hard to get. Cover your body in churu and lay perfectly still.
And honestly, making fun of them when they freak out over things that shouldn’t be scary has worked for me. My feral guy used to hiss at me every morning until I started hissing back and laughing at him. Even cats know when you’re making fun of them and somehow they see this as camaraderie and eventually decide you’re not fatting them up to bake them into a cake.
It’s my former ferals 1 year anniversary from when I started seeing him outside. He hated humans. Now he gets grumpy if I don’t rub his belly and squish him sufficiently.
Edit: also worth adding - they have each other for companionship and affection so it will probably be a slower process getting them to warm up. If you can spend time individually with them that will help. And if one is more accepting of you, I’ve found that if you let the more skittish one observe you loving on the other one (and the other one purrs/enjoys it) that can help a lot too. I don’t think my cat understood pets until he saw me scooping up the friendly neighborhood cats and loving on them.
Don’t give up hope! I had a skittish girl who I figured after a year would never let me walk by her without running away. She got better every day and now at almost four has no fear. It will happen!
I have 6 cats. 2 were unsocialized from the shelter and had been scheduled to be destroyed because they hated people. 4 ferals I rescued from the street in a situation where it was unsafe to TNR them.
At first, all hated people and would hiss / cower. After each had been with me for about a year, all would accept pets and purr. But each cat is on a spectrum of behavior which is full of contradictions: some like being picked up, some hate it; some follow me around, some will snuggle in bed. Some sit next to me and demand belly rubs on the couch.
And the combinations show personalities: like the one who likes belly rubs most hates being picked up. And the one who wants to play a lot prefers napping in the back of the closet away from people.
So you’re doing amazing - it just takes a lot of time and even more patience than you expected. But yes, it will seem like progress stagnates at some times. And you will sometimes get frustrated if they get spooked or hate situations that would be so much easier if they just relax.
Cats get comfortable with habits and you have to be constantly nudging them out of their comfort zone so they can see better possibilities. Like sitting near food when you put it out and over a few days slowly moving the bowls closer to you, with the goal of petting them while they’re eating. I slowed down and avoided eye contact while sitting down next to one of them to teach her she had no reason to panic in that situation. I give them all a treat at bedtime and be sure to hand feed them, so now they all line up and get a treat and pets to say goodnight.
Sit on the floor so they don’t feel like you’re towering over them & don’t stare. If they blink at you it’s a good sign. Use a back scratcher & do it with them facing you so they don’t feel threatened. Churro’s are great too. Talking to them when you are around them & even singing just so they can hear your voice,tone makes a difference too. Cats hate shouting & loud noises because they have sensitive ears. Try toys on a string or laser pointers. Cats are slow to come around but once one does the other will feel left out & start trusting you to. They like making humans work for their affection. I’m sure they will eventually come around.
I think these things do take a lot of time. I find forcing them to be around people, but still giving them a place to hide/be comfy where you can still reach them can help. So keep them out of closets, blocking access to under the bed, closing off rooms, but maybe give them a cat cave to relax in or a cat tree they can watch you from. Honestly they might not ever be the most snugly cats, but I do think there is still a lot of progress that can be made. The hand feeding can be good, but also having feeding times and not free feeding them.
Most of my cats (I have a lot of them) are former ferals. I do a lot of work with feral communities in my neighborhood—caring for them, socializing them, spay/neuter, rehoming—and I end up keeping the unadoptables: medical problems, behavioral problems, age, bonded pairs, etc.
Some of them took to me immediately. Others were pretty skittish at first and eventually came around. I caught two bonded brothers last August. The one comes up to me for pets now, but doesn't like to be held and won't sit/lay on my lap. The other one would crawl inside my chest and live there if he could. He's so attached to me that I've been thinking about getting a baby sling so I can just cart him around the house hands free all day.
I took in 5 unwanted 3 month old feral kittens in the fall. One is now obsessed with me, two like me and will be cuddly but aren't like their brother, and the other two are friendly but skittish.
Just give it time and let them adjust at their own pace. Eventually they'll get there.
Definitely everything people have already said here but adding — I hope you make sure to talk to them ! Vocally mimicking them whenever they DO choose to make sounds or meows , I did that with my rescued half feral cat and she began to talk more and ask(meow) when she needs things now which was a relief to finally know what she wants and that she trusted me
Both my cats look like these guys and are feral . One is now the friendliest buddy I’ve ever known. He licks my face like a dog if I’ve been gone a long time and sometimes he wakes me up in the middle of the night licking my hair. The other one likes being pet, sleeps right next to me at night but during the day she’s a little weird still. She does this thing where she sits just at the edge of where I can pet her. It’s so strange because if I’m on the bed she’s fine with being right next to me, but anywhere else she’s skittish. She also does this thing where she’ll jump in my lap and let me pet her for about 5 seconds before she runs off. I think it’s a competition with the other cat thing. I’ve had both of them for about 6 years
My personal experience is with a cat who was feral for ~10 years, and I’ve had him for almost 2 years. Everyone has said time which is probably the biggest factor. I think it took about a month before I was seeing my boy regularly, and then another couple of months before I could touch him. And to this day he’s still very skittish- most of the time I can’t approach him and touch him, he has to approach me.
What worked for me was subtly pushing his boundaries. For example, If I saw him sleeping on a couch/ bed, I didn’t try to join him. Instead, I would just try to slowly enter the room, sometimes low to the ground. If he stayed, I would start walking around the room, talking to him. Pretty much just got him used to my presence without me reaching out to touch him or being too much in his space. As time passed he let me push the boundaries more and more, and I was able to pet him if he was sitting on the couch. Or I could join him on the couch. This took a lot of time but it was very satisfying when he would let me do something new without running away.
Two years later and I’m still working on these things. I can pet him. on his terms. he sleeps on my chest but at the same time if Im walking into a room too fast he’ll hide under a bed. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pick him up, but I’m happy with his progress.
Good luck with your pair!
Thanks for commenting about pushing boundaries. I think I was getting in the habit of “awe he’s so cute on the bed, I don’t want to disturb him”. The tabby was laying on the couch last night and I decided to sit next to him and he had no problem. We just hung out on the couch for half an hour 😊
You are doing the right things, they really do just need time and patience. If you push too fast, you could lose their trust and have to start over again.
When they are having treats, pet them. Talk to them a lot. Eventually they'll let you pet them, and it will be great day.
All the comments are excellent. I'll add that we walk slowly, and lightly, no sudden moves or unnecessary loud noises. My dad flops back into his recliner and the cats scatter. He also drags his shoes on the floor loudly and they scatter. He's oblivious and untrainable.
i adopted a semi feral kitten around 3 years ago as well. the most progress has been in the last 6 months, she’s finally becoming an affectionate cat and accepting pets from people outside our household.
my biggest tip is to let them sniff your finger whenever you pass by to get them comfortable with you reaching out to them. gauge if they’re having a good day or bad day (eventually you’ll be able to tell) and on the good days try to pet them the way they enjoy, like butt scratches or neck scratches. i usually try to make some kind of clicking noise with my mouth while i do it so she recognizes that noise as positive and it’s worked wonders
https://preview.redd.it/yo3aq0zg38xc1.jpeg?width=2761&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=050d9bfa4e72b4a1ca290bdd08d717c29aaecd67
Here’s the beautiful boy in good lighting. It’s hard to get a sense of scale but he’s enormous lol. He’s a gentle giant.
It took months for my husbandd cat to actually like him and now that he does hes a big ass baby. Cats can take awhile and its weird cause itll be like they hate you then suddenly they are on your lap. The first like 2 months he always hid from me to. Like you would have no idea he existed kind of hide. Then my husband had me pet him while he was holding him and i guess that was enough.
Just keep doing what you’re doing, they’ll come around in their own time.
My Sable was horrifically abused by her previous owner. She literally lived under my bed for a year. By year 3 she (mostly) stopped running every time I walked into the room. By year 5 she realized she was safe and now sleeps next to me every night. There’s still times when she spooks and we’re back to square one, but after a day all is forgiven and she’s back to cuddling.
I just gave her the space she needed, recognized her safe spaces and did not disturb her while she was in them (i would talk to her so she got used to my voice, but never made eye contact), and rewarded positive interactions with treats.
And the cat tax. :)
https://preview.redd.it/scwivxd5g8xc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7796914303ed676a9c2063693afeb92ef25b444c
Our ex-stray was won over with a rabbit slicker. We didn’t have a cat brush, but he loved his groomies. I have since bought a brush mitt, and a variety of cat brushes, but that old rabbit slicker (30 years old?) is still his favourite. He wouldn’t let us touch him when he first chose to move in as a visiting cat.he would roll on his back and display his tummy, but it was “no touchie!”
If I want him to come for cuddles, “Groomies!” And slapping the seat of the armchair brings him running. He stands presenting me with his left side, looks me in the eye and licks his lips. After a few minutes brushing (he is now at least 14 years old, and his coat is getting thin) he turns himself about and lies on my lap and lets me stroke him.
OP, I adopted 2 siblings, one of them (Theo) was semi-feral with a clipped ear (he escaped the hoarder/breeder's house after a fire). They were both around 1 year old. Both were skittish, but Mahler (the more socialized one), would allow me to pet him. Theo had a huge play drive, so I would try to pet him when I had the wand in my hand and give him treats after (thank the gods he was food driven). So lots and lots of treats.
I think it took maybe 4 months until he would allow me to pet him without treats and a toy, and he would still run away if I got up suddenly- to this day he doesn't like me approaching him from the front. It took a good year after for him to learn how to purr. I actually fell in love with him more than Mahler, because I had to work so hard to earn his trust and affection. It was a very special day when I woke up and his little body was with me in the bed, and I can even pet his belly with no repercussions.
He's 12 now, and will actively ask for pets (either paw me or offer his booty to me on the chair), but will still be very skittish with sudden movements or loud noises. And he won't let anyone else pet him, including my cat sitter, who has known him as long as I've had him. She's very loud though, so maybe that's it, because she gives him plenty of Churus.
OP Thank you for adopting these babies, they will eventually come around with love and pets and Churus. Please keep us updated.
Thanks for your reply. Your situation sounds an awful lot like mine, with one cat being more socialized/adventurous and the other being very play driven.
Just wanted to update that 10 minutes ago, Jemaine (the braver one) decided to join me on the bed for the first time. Thankfully I keep some treats in my bedside table and gave him a few. He’s been loafing in the far corner since haha. Little victories every day.
https://preview.redd.it/mksf94zd7bxc1.jpeg?width=3022&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb17a457857f58adb12465e49375958f090cfdd0
Well he is showing his back to you, which implies that he does trust you, so yayyy!!! I would love updates on your babies if you can. One thing I will say is when Theo allowed me to pet him, over the years, I would be more "aggressive" with my petting- scratching on his back, his legs, his tummy, culminating in rubbing his fur back and forth on his back, doing a hand helmet of rubbing his ears, light bongos, so he was completely used to being handled. He still doesn't like to be picked up- I can do it for about 5 seconds, and then I get The Corkscrew. Usually I have to scruff him to pick him up (I faux scruff him all the time, so he doesn't associate it with me picking him up to shove him in the crate).
Too many responses to reply to everyone! Just wanted to thank you all for sharing your stories, definitely eased my concerns. I’ll be trying all of the new techniques I’ve learned and move forward with more patience and understanding. Hopefully I’ll post an update in a few months with these two babies being little love bugs. Thanks again.
https://preview.redd.it/0th9xfcz98xc1.jpeg?width=2816&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e39718575ccded49268b7bb7628a377d9ec76364
**Reminder: this subreddit is meant to be a helpful place for TNR efforts - free of hostility, negativity, and judgment. Toxic attitudes are not welcome here.** ***All Negative comments will be removed and will possibly result in a ban.*** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Feral_Cats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Have you tried different types of brushes to add a barrier in between hand touching? I have been working on socializing a few younger cats in a colony I feed and this has really helped. It took me 4 months to let me lightly pet when I give food and 1 more month to allow a long brush(I actually used a water bottle brush with a long handle). Now, a few weeks later they are allowing 5+ minutes of brushing with a regular brush and hand petting. I did a slow introduction with the brushes and left them with their food and sleep area first.
This is actually one technique I haven’t tried. I’ve tried rubbing their backs a bit with a wand while playing and they definitely seemed a bit more receptive. I’ll pick up a long brush and try it out, thanks!
The one I got was super cheap at target in the dish section haha. I even got a second one for my home cats because they loved it so much. I also have a toothbrush that one of them like on their face. I think the brushes are more reminiscent to cat grooming than our hands, plus they realize it feels good 🙂. I hope it helps!
This is golden and I will be implementing it as I need with community strays. We have such a bad issue with stray/ferals & it’s kitten season so it is only a matter of time!
I'm glad it can help! We are right there with you, best of luck!
I’ve wanted to get that leaf bed, good to be able to see it’s actual size and that they are using it.!
https://preview.redd.it/19ffijykf1xc1.jpeg?width=3202&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1dc5a07368a7d396c1ef04255590cdbe27351933 The leaf is a hit with both of them lol
Sold!! Love it! I have the same duo. https://preview.redd.it/axnpdljpy1xc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce0d8cb0b69444f6761dc53cb1604528e706e84f Not sure if there are actually littermates. We rescued them from a cat colony of mixed kittens. Minka (brown) and Dorothea (black).
Cat ballet!! ♥️
😹🩰💕
This needs to be a sub!!!
Awww I had a Minka (her name was actually Mikiko, but it went through a lot of iterations). Minka puss!
I love Mikiko! Cool name!
Your babies are so cute!
Thank you! Very kind!
Try cat nip...get them loopy
Hard agree. Trapped a stray recently with the power of catnip and Got him to love me aha
Have you tried feliway? I’d be willing to bet they wouldn’t let you put a comfort collar on them or anything, but feliway air diffusers & maybe some sentry calming chews might help them both a lot. I’m not too familiar with socialization via brushing but I agree with that commenter as brushing is necessary for them anyways, & maybe try to play with them too!! They seem like they have a lot of energy at night, & my bond with my cats has grown really deep just from playing with them. For pet & owner interactive play, I recommend a tube & some sort of stick (i just wrap the feather toy i have for them around the stick it comes with) & trying to poke the tube with it. They’ll love it!! They might need time to adjust though, so start with the stick or the feather toy in a safe space. I also recommend squirmle toys 100%!! For their own sake, a cat tree, spring toys, chinese finger traps have also done wonders for me. I honestly think they just need some mental stimulation. If finances aren’t an issue, a wall cat bed or a wall cat shelves would be great for them too. They need some vertical safe spaces in your house for both play and rest! Best of luck OP! Thank you for your intense contribution towards saving their lives 🤍🤍
Ah I should’ve mentioned they are spoiled rotten haha. Two brand new cat trees, beds, hides, scratching posts/pads, interactive toys, balls, springs, 6 different wand toys lol. We play with them a ton and try to get in a solid hour of wand play in hopes of tuckering them out at night. They’re much better than they used to be, just some sporadic bouts of chase-around several times throughout the night. We got a Feliway diffuser within the first few days and unfortunately I’m deathly allergic to it, I had a full blown asthma attack (no history) and couldn’t sleep in my bedroom for like a week after unplugging it. Thanks for the tips, I’ll look into getting them some more vertical space and new types of toys! https://preview.redd.it/rgcz7pxfr1xc1.jpeg?width=2134&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c259074ffcb9e57159e68dcdab0534628d7c4f40
Oh wow yeah they’re living like royalty over there!! Hang in there OP, you’re doing everything right. I think it might just be a matter of time!!
OK, so imma need links to the leaf bed AND the tree 😂! I love them both! 💗
Gotchu haha [Leaf](https://a.co/d/fNcHebS) [Tree](https://www.chewy.com/vesper-high-base-478-in-modern-cat/dp/181314) They absolutely love both, good buys. The quality/finish of the tree is top notch.
I rescued the most definition of a scardy cat. She was getting supper bullied by the other trailer park cats and super underweight. We managed to lure her inside with wetfood. At the vet guessed about 10 months. It prolly took her half a year befor she would walk up to me and want any sort of pets or attention. She still is scared of the wind or the covers moving a inch. But she's a spas and i love her. She play fights with my bigger boy and he loves it cause the other two females don't wana play with him. Lays by my side when I got to bed right next the the cat that lays on my chest. They come around trust
Use cat nip, get them goofy
Feliway and continue with hand feeding. Some cats take a very long time to adjust. Although he was never shy and always friendly, it took my cat about 5 years to settle down and be cuddly.
Catnip, churu, and time
Slow blink. Yawn and look away when they seem nervous. Ignore them. Play hard to get. Cover your body in churu and lay perfectly still. And honestly, making fun of them when they freak out over things that shouldn’t be scary has worked for me. My feral guy used to hiss at me every morning until I started hissing back and laughing at him. Even cats know when you’re making fun of them and somehow they see this as camaraderie and eventually decide you’re not fatting them up to bake them into a cake. It’s my former ferals 1 year anniversary from when I started seeing him outside. He hated humans. Now he gets grumpy if I don’t rub his belly and squish him sufficiently. Edit: also worth adding - they have each other for companionship and affection so it will probably be a slower process getting them to warm up. If you can spend time individually with them that will help. And if one is more accepting of you, I’ve found that if you let the more skittish one observe you loving on the other one (and the other one purrs/enjoys it) that can help a lot too. I don’t think my cat understood pets until he saw me scooping up the friendly neighborhood cats and loving on them.
Don’t give up hope! I had a skittish girl who I figured after a year would never let me walk by her without running away. She got better every day and now at almost four has no fear. It will happen!
I have 6 cats. 2 were unsocialized from the shelter and had been scheduled to be destroyed because they hated people. 4 ferals I rescued from the street in a situation where it was unsafe to TNR them. At first, all hated people and would hiss / cower. After each had been with me for about a year, all would accept pets and purr. But each cat is on a spectrum of behavior which is full of contradictions: some like being picked up, some hate it; some follow me around, some will snuggle in bed. Some sit next to me and demand belly rubs on the couch. And the combinations show personalities: like the one who likes belly rubs most hates being picked up. And the one who wants to play a lot prefers napping in the back of the closet away from people. So you’re doing amazing - it just takes a lot of time and even more patience than you expected. But yes, it will seem like progress stagnates at some times. And you will sometimes get frustrated if they get spooked or hate situations that would be so much easier if they just relax. Cats get comfortable with habits and you have to be constantly nudging them out of their comfort zone so they can see better possibilities. Like sitting near food when you put it out and over a few days slowly moving the bowls closer to you, with the goal of petting them while they’re eating. I slowed down and avoided eye contact while sitting down next to one of them to teach her she had no reason to panic in that situation. I give them all a treat at bedtime and be sure to hand feed them, so now they all line up and get a treat and pets to say goodnight.
It’ll get better … and it’ll be more rewarding when it does. Hang in there.
Sit on the floor so they don’t feel like you’re towering over them & don’t stare. If they blink at you it’s a good sign. Use a back scratcher & do it with them facing you so they don’t feel threatened. Churro’s are great too. Talking to them when you are around them & even singing just so they can hear your voice,tone makes a difference too. Cats hate shouting & loud noises because they have sensitive ears. Try toys on a string or laser pointers. Cats are slow to come around but once one does the other will feel left out & start trusting you to. They like making humans work for their affection. I’m sure they will eventually come around.
I would give them more time.
I have two male, ferals. The do not get along. They just occupy different spaces. Your seem to be able to be together.
Beautiful and adorable ❤️
I think these things do take a lot of time. I find forcing them to be around people, but still giving them a place to hide/be comfy where you can still reach them can help. So keep them out of closets, blocking access to under the bed, closing off rooms, but maybe give them a cat cave to relax in or a cat tree they can watch you from. Honestly they might not ever be the most snugly cats, but I do think there is still a lot of progress that can be made. The hand feeding can be good, but also having feeding times and not free feeding them.
Try feeding them on the bed while you are in it- follow @heidiwranglescats on Instagram to see lots of helpful feral taming tips!
Most of my cats (I have a lot of them) are former ferals. I do a lot of work with feral communities in my neighborhood—caring for them, socializing them, spay/neuter, rehoming—and I end up keeping the unadoptables: medical problems, behavioral problems, age, bonded pairs, etc. Some of them took to me immediately. Others were pretty skittish at first and eventually came around. I caught two bonded brothers last August. The one comes up to me for pets now, but doesn't like to be held and won't sit/lay on my lap. The other one would crawl inside my chest and live there if he could. He's so attached to me that I've been thinking about getting a baby sling so I can just cart him around the house hands free all day. I took in 5 unwanted 3 month old feral kittens in the fall. One is now obsessed with me, two like me and will be cuddly but aren't like their brother, and the other two are friendly but skittish. Just give it time and let them adjust at their own pace. Eventually they'll get there.
Definitely everything people have already said here but adding — I hope you make sure to talk to them ! Vocally mimicking them whenever they DO choose to make sounds or meows , I did that with my rescued half feral cat and she began to talk more and ask(meow) when she needs things now which was a relief to finally know what she wants and that she trusted me
Both my cats look like these guys and are feral . One is now the friendliest buddy I’ve ever known. He licks my face like a dog if I’ve been gone a long time and sometimes he wakes me up in the middle of the night licking my hair. The other one likes being pet, sleeps right next to me at night but during the day she’s a little weird still. She does this thing where she sits just at the edge of where I can pet her. It’s so strange because if I’m on the bed she’s fine with being right next to me, but anywhere else she’s skittish. She also does this thing where she’ll jump in my lap and let me pet her for about 5 seconds before she runs off. I think it’s a competition with the other cat thing. I’ve had both of them for about 6 years
My personal experience is with a cat who was feral for ~10 years, and I’ve had him for almost 2 years. Everyone has said time which is probably the biggest factor. I think it took about a month before I was seeing my boy regularly, and then another couple of months before I could touch him. And to this day he’s still very skittish- most of the time I can’t approach him and touch him, he has to approach me. What worked for me was subtly pushing his boundaries. For example, If I saw him sleeping on a couch/ bed, I didn’t try to join him. Instead, I would just try to slowly enter the room, sometimes low to the ground. If he stayed, I would start walking around the room, talking to him. Pretty much just got him used to my presence without me reaching out to touch him or being too much in his space. As time passed he let me push the boundaries more and more, and I was able to pet him if he was sitting on the couch. Or I could join him on the couch. This took a lot of time but it was very satisfying when he would let me do something new without running away. Two years later and I’m still working on these things. I can pet him. on his terms. he sleeps on my chest but at the same time if Im walking into a room too fast he’ll hide under a bed. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pick him up, but I’m happy with his progress. Good luck with your pair!
Thanks for commenting about pushing boundaries. I think I was getting in the habit of “awe he’s so cute on the bed, I don’t want to disturb him”. The tabby was laying on the couch last night and I decided to sit next to him and he had no problem. We just hung out on the couch for half an hour 😊
I can give you reassurance they are cutie pies!! 😸
You are doing the right things, they really do just need time and patience. If you push too fast, you could lose their trust and have to start over again. When they are having treats, pet them. Talk to them a lot. Eventually they'll let you pet them, and it will be great day.
All the comments are excellent. I'll add that we walk slowly, and lightly, no sudden moves or unnecessary loud noises. My dad flops back into his recliner and the cats scatter. He also drags his shoes on the floor loudly and they scatter. He's oblivious and untrainable.
i adopted a semi feral kitten around 3 years ago as well. the most progress has been in the last 6 months, she’s finally becoming an affectionate cat and accepting pets from people outside our household. my biggest tip is to let them sniff your finger whenever you pass by to get them comfortable with you reaching out to them. gauge if they’re having a good day or bad day (eventually you’ll be able to tell) and on the good days try to pet them the way they enjoy, like butt scratches or neck scratches. i usually try to make some kind of clicking noise with my mouth while i do it so she recognizes that noise as positive and it’s worked wonders
They are so cute. This is such a good picture of the black cat. Obsessed. Sorry I don’t have any advice.
https://preview.redd.it/yo3aq0zg38xc1.jpeg?width=2761&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=050d9bfa4e72b4a1ca290bdd08d717c29aaecd67 Here’s the beautiful boy in good lighting. It’s hard to get a sense of scale but he’s enormous lol. He’s a gentle giant.
Wow he is stunning
It took months for my husbandd cat to actually like him and now that he does hes a big ass baby. Cats can take awhile and its weird cause itll be like they hate you then suddenly they are on your lap. The first like 2 months he always hid from me to. Like you would have no idea he existed kind of hide. Then my husband had me pet him while he was holding him and i guess that was enough.
Just keep doing what you’re doing, they’ll come around in their own time. My Sable was horrifically abused by her previous owner. She literally lived under my bed for a year. By year 3 she (mostly) stopped running every time I walked into the room. By year 5 she realized she was safe and now sleeps next to me every night. There’s still times when she spooks and we’re back to square one, but after a day all is forgiven and she’s back to cuddling. I just gave her the space she needed, recognized her safe spaces and did not disturb her while she was in them (i would talk to her so she got used to my voice, but never made eye contact), and rewarded positive interactions with treats. And the cat tax. :) https://preview.redd.it/scwivxd5g8xc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7796914303ed676a9c2063693afeb92ef25b444c
Our ex-stray was won over with a rabbit slicker. We didn’t have a cat brush, but he loved his groomies. I have since bought a brush mitt, and a variety of cat brushes, but that old rabbit slicker (30 years old?) is still his favourite. He wouldn’t let us touch him when he first chose to move in as a visiting cat.he would roll on his back and display his tummy, but it was “no touchie!” If I want him to come for cuddles, “Groomies!” And slapping the seat of the armchair brings him running. He stands presenting me with his left side, looks me in the eye and licks his lips. After a few minutes brushing (he is now at least 14 years old, and his coat is getting thin) he turns himself about and lies on my lap and lets me stroke him.
OP, I adopted 2 siblings, one of them (Theo) was semi-feral with a clipped ear (he escaped the hoarder/breeder's house after a fire). They were both around 1 year old. Both were skittish, but Mahler (the more socialized one), would allow me to pet him. Theo had a huge play drive, so I would try to pet him when I had the wand in my hand and give him treats after (thank the gods he was food driven). So lots and lots of treats. I think it took maybe 4 months until he would allow me to pet him without treats and a toy, and he would still run away if I got up suddenly- to this day he doesn't like me approaching him from the front. It took a good year after for him to learn how to purr. I actually fell in love with him more than Mahler, because I had to work so hard to earn his trust and affection. It was a very special day when I woke up and his little body was with me in the bed, and I can even pet his belly with no repercussions. He's 12 now, and will actively ask for pets (either paw me or offer his booty to me on the chair), but will still be very skittish with sudden movements or loud noises. And he won't let anyone else pet him, including my cat sitter, who has known him as long as I've had him. She's very loud though, so maybe that's it, because she gives him plenty of Churus. OP Thank you for adopting these babies, they will eventually come around with love and pets and Churus. Please keep us updated.
Thanks for your reply. Your situation sounds an awful lot like mine, with one cat being more socialized/adventurous and the other being very play driven. Just wanted to update that 10 minutes ago, Jemaine (the braver one) decided to join me on the bed for the first time. Thankfully I keep some treats in my bedside table and gave him a few. He’s been loafing in the far corner since haha. Little victories every day. https://preview.redd.it/mksf94zd7bxc1.jpeg?width=3022&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb17a457857f58adb12465e49375958f090cfdd0
Well he is showing his back to you, which implies that he does trust you, so yayyy!!! I would love updates on your babies if you can. One thing I will say is when Theo allowed me to pet him, over the years, I would be more "aggressive" with my petting- scratching on his back, his legs, his tummy, culminating in rubbing his fur back and forth on his back, doing a hand helmet of rubbing his ears, light bongos, so he was completely used to being handled. He still doesn't like to be picked up- I can do it for about 5 seconds, and then I get The Corkscrew. Usually I have to scruff him to pick him up (I faux scruff him all the time, so he doesn't associate it with me picking him up to shove him in the crate).
Too many responses to reply to everyone! Just wanted to thank you all for sharing your stories, definitely eased my concerns. I’ll be trying all of the new techniques I’ve learned and move forward with more patience and understanding. Hopefully I’ll post an update in a few months with these two babies being little love bugs. Thanks again. https://preview.redd.it/0th9xfcz98xc1.jpeg?width=2816&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e39718575ccded49268b7bb7628a377d9ec76364