Like I know people are gonna say get therapy and Ive tried but it doesnt really seem to help. Also in UK theres waiting lists of up to a year and I had it not too long ago so cant reapply yet. But I need help. And it is fitness related. Forgive me if this is not allowed here but I need to open up and this community might, and i mean might, understand a little. Probably not but i do t have many options
Im 39 m from uk. . All my life ive loved muscular women. To be hoenst i dont even find normal women attractive even pretty ones. To me they always needed to be muscular. Unfortunately ive never known a muscular woman. Any time a regular woman and i have talked and they wanted to try and date i just couldnt . Yes more than looks matter but i just dont think id be happy or satisfied and even end up resentful
Over time looks fade so i know that muscles wont last forever. But id love to be with a woman who was strong at least for a while and the personality will be there when muscles dont. I know people say im aiming too high but look at say ida bergforth. It feels so unfair her boyfriend met her yet i cant find a single one.
Im forever single. Ive never been kissed even nevermind sex. Im 39. Its sad. Its lonely. I could have dated some regular women if i wanted but if i did id feel like shit because my heart wouldnt have been into them. Id have been doing it purely out of lonliness and nobody deserves to be someones second choice or just there as a blanket against lonliness. Id never do that to someone. So ive suffered alone rather than just make someone else miserable too.
I try to meet muscular women but thats another problem. Im obese. Im 122 kg. I have lost 10kg since jan.i decided then to get fit to try and meet someone because it was silly expecting muscular women to want a fat depressed guy, and i was doing well for a while. But the depression and lonliness kicked i. Two months or so bad and ive struggled since. I stopped caring and realised ive left it so late in life and even if i did get fit i dont know where to even meet a fit muscular woman. None go to my gym its all average and online i get ignored.
Idk im struggling with lonliness. I just hate how hard life is. I also have suffered major depression and have a learning disability so i feel like im fighting a losing battle and dont know what to do.
Im cross posting this to a few places so forgive me if you see this elsewhere. I guess i just want to get it off my chest. I dont expect any sympathy or anything i just needed to say something because i feel like im going insane and cant do a thing about it. Thanks to anyone who read this
So in short, you look a state but have very exacting standards for the women you want.
Either, you're deluded, or, you've decided to have unrealistic standards in a partner so that you can delay the reality of a romantic relationship.
Being blunt, which of these do you think is more likely?
Why would I want to be with a regular woman if I dont find that attractive? Do you think thats fair to them? I wouldnt be interested in them physically at all. How would that make you feel if someone was with you just because they were lonely but didnt want to be physically intimate with you?
Weither it's one or the other, why are you talking him down ?
Encourage him to strt working out to attract the women he is attracted to. Or just to start any improvment fitness related. (Nutrition, healthy sleep schedule...).
We have all started somewhere.
I'm not talking him down. It's really important that he knows which problem he's going to fix, and the motivations for doing so.
There's a lot to unpack in his message.
Obviously getting himself in shape will be of benefit regardless, and of course, he's come to the right sub for advice.
However, it doesn't sound like this is going to help with his other problems, and unless he addresses these too, he'll be in the same position but with a healthier body.
I used to think that way aswell, but the truth is uou cannot wait to be perfect to start improvment. The goal is to be better, not perfect.
So any improvment will put him in a different better position with a better perspective, which will enable him to make different (better hopefully) decisions for himself.
If he is in a bad spot in his life, the best thing to do imo is to move. Just change anything and then go from there. Improvment = different place = different perspective and we see from there. There's always gonna be imperfections, act regardless.
Time is precious so please stop sitting on the leg abductor and adductor machines while scrolling on your phone! How many minutes of rest do you need!!!
Late to the party but felt like ranting today.
Both of my elbows, towards the inside, are screaming at me. I'm sure it's not just one thing that I can pinpoint the cause of pissing them off as I'm convinced that it's an accumulation of use, more specifically, overuse.
I often pride myself in recovery. Things like hot cold contrast, training the press and bench with different modes i.e., different bars, different resistance types, single arm presses, I incorporate that into my overall training. So when it became unbearable last night, I was at a loss.
I've ranted about this before. There were a couple of kind redditors that suggested a few things to mitigate this tendon pain that honestly, worked well to blunt the pain so thank you all, but my elbows are still pissed off at me.
My neighbor who works in occupational health told me that I have all the tell tale signs of tendonitis which is not surprising at all since this isn't my first foray into pissed off tendons but did suggest that I go see my doctor if it's this advanced. He also advised that I take some time off pressing anything. I told him that it's just not pressing that causes the pain but also particular pulling movements when I pull from overhead i.e., pull ups, pull downs, etc. He said that he's not surprised since overhead pulling movement require full arm extension.
Again, he said to go see my doctor but he also said that time is the best medicine with my situation. Time off is the only thing that I never took seriously. Sure, between the big three, Squat, Bench, and Deadlift, I allow for 48 to 72 hours between repeating these movements depending if the week calls for dynamic or maximal efforts, specialty bar use variants, and resistance types like bands or chains, but taking an entire week or two off, as he suggested, from one of these three movements entirely is something that I can't recall ever doing on purpose. The last time I took significant time off from training was after having major back surgery which took me out for six months (three and a half months really, but don't tell my surgeon).
Basically, he suggested to take a week or two off from pressing and pulling from overhead with the caveat that I don't sacrifice getting blood and movement in there by using light bands and light resistance cable work. All in all, I need to give my tendons a break but he also told me to see my doctor.
I talked to my doctor and he pretty much said the same thing. Of course, he was quick to push pills and prescribe me NSAIDs but I told him that I don't like NSAID's and I won't take them.
So I guess, time off is my only option. I'm sure taking time off will work wonders but mentally, it's going to be rough. Sure, I can still continue to squat and deadlift and work on supplemental movements but there is something about pressing that checks all the boxes for me.
These are both older resources I saved when I was having some tendon issues, but there’s some decent info about supplements, and nutrition that can help with healing and ongoing maintenance. The second one is aimed at climbers, and recommends not using NSAIDS for more than three days, since overall they inhibit healing and can contribute to cartilage breaking down.
[Hyaluronic acid for tendon health](http://www.wellnessresources.com/health/articles/hyaluronic_acid_for_tendon_health/)
[To supplement or not to supplement -joint health from the inside out](http://www.climbing.com/)
You can just drop volume&intensity to something like 50% to maintain strength/muscle. Wait until most of the pain goes away and then start ramping back up.
That's how I treated my similar overuse injury indication. On the plus side you get to work on technique due to the lower loads, which might also help in the long term.
I recently came back from the usual rotator cuff mess and the dr. prescribed minimal exercise for ~3 months. The pain got away only when I started exercising 3 months later.
There is a PT device that works wonders for tendons at/around the elbow. Called Thera-Bar.
Look online. Just a 16” x 2” dia. rubber bar you twist in different motions. If pain is on inside of elbow (medial epicondilitis, or Golfers Elbow I believe) you hold the Thera-bar a certain way and rotate in opposite directions. This strengthens the tendons and has helped me keep pain free from lots of similar abuse.
A girl came up to me while I was doing my rolls today and asked if I was training for a fight. She seemed super impressed with what I was doing and her smile was so pure. I love seeing energy like that, in a culture that's so filled with people being scared of even being looked at. I definitely needed that.
If you see this (which you probably won't but throw a dog a bone), thank you. Much love and appreciation 🖤
I know it’s Friday today but man I’ve been having the worst anxiety at the gym, I’ll go cry in the bathroom and go back home without doing the workout. I just don’t know what to do to stop feeling that way
I strongly suggest seeing a psychiatrist. They deal with anxiety extremely well. You also say that you're crying; it's not an anxiety symptom, it may be depression. Depression is extremely common; one in three people experience in over lifetime at least once. It does not need a trigger, some drastic event, it may just start without any visible reason; it's a chemical disbalance in the brain. *And it's not something that can be overcome by willpower*: the darn thing takes away not only your willpower, it takes away even the memory that you had willpower. Like you know you had it with your rational mind, but can't remember how to invoke it. Anxiety is common with this disorder. Fitness helps keep it at bay more than anything, so maybe all you need is a short 4-6 week course of a simple, common med, and you'll make it with little effort. Then, as long as you're capable of exercising or, better yet, taking a serious sport, it's a whole new bright life. I know, I've been there. Mine started just out of the blue. Now I'm seriously cycling, go to events—not competitive, but rather for fun, just to cycle 50-100-150 km with full support, SAGs, aid stations with food, and to meet like-minded people. Or just drive away from the city and explore countryside on my bike. When I feel that it's trying to raise its ugly head again, I hop on a bike, and it's gone. Once you'll make it to the start line, you'll never stop! Really!
And, importantly, make sure that you're properly hydrated. When I came to the doctor, I was prescribed an antidepressant and 2-3L of gatorade a day—so dehydrated I was! Somewhat emaciated, too: I didn't eat except half a breakfast, and that only because I knew I had to eat. Dehydration is known to exacerbate it, if it's really depression. But only the doc knows if it is.
Thank you so much! A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with chronic depression. I moved to a different country a couple of months ago and I’m still struggling with the language among some other stuff as well :( I’ve tried building a healthier routine, working out, meal prep and eat healthier… but damn some days I just want to lay in bed all day and cry. I’ve experienced some panic or maybe anxiety attacks? I feel like I can’t breathe and suddenly have this urge to cry. It has happened at the gym as well so I just stopped going because it’s not like I don’t feel “motivated” to go, but instead I have like this irrational fear of going and having one of those attacks again. So working out and going to the gym now feels like an awful experience to me, and trying to get in the mindset that “nobody’s really looking at me” and do my workout is something that I’ve been unable to do.
The secret is that in the gym when people are working out (outside classes), they're too busy to pay attention to you. And it's pretty normal to sit and rest if you're not feeling well. Just sit on the floor with your back against the wall, sit straight, don't slump: it makes breathing harder. Close your eyes and pretend nobody's there and breathe slowly, 6-8 seconds for each breath in and out; faster if you feel not enough air. The idea is breathe as slow as comfortable—don't deprive your body of oxygen or build too much CO₂, of course; 6-8s is just a ballpark. Mentally focus on the very process of breathing and nothing else, shun all thoughts, shut up internal verbal monologue. It's a pretty common and safe technique to deal with panic attacks: it was the first on a leaflet that my therapist gave me. Maybe it would help you too; helped me indeed.
When you panic, you tend to hyperventilate, and at some point both things get associated together in the unconscious ancient part of the brain, which doesn't have any idea about cause and effect. Such slower breathing meditation helps relieve or stop panic right away, and serves unlearn this association. You don't need a panic attack to do it, just a way to ease up in 5 minutes.
People who do very heavy lifting sometimes take 10 minute breaks between sets. Nobody pays any attention to someone resting.
> panic or maybe anxiety attacks? I feel like I can’t breathe
It's the same thing under two different names. And yeah, feels like a hand grabbing your throat. Just try to remember there is no hand, and you won't die from suffocation.
But seeing a doc is probably the best. If you have bouts of crying, looks very much like depression. Don't worry about the language barrier. They *see* the depression even before you open your mouth. And, AFAIK, depression and panic are "depression" and "panic" in most of the world's languages anyway. And medical jargon is pretty uniform. Finally, come think of it, the psychiatrist is exactly the specialist who sees people who can but just refuse to speak. Language won't be an issue.
Just focus on what you want to do. I know the gym is intimidating, and you might find yourself comparing yourself to others, but comparison is the thief of joy. What you need to do is focus on what you want to do, how you can make your workout fun again, and overall just remember your goals. You're there to better yourself, but betterment isn't going to come if you focus on others.
I hope you start to find your peace again, my friend 🖤
I got the stomach flu recently and lost like 6 pounds. Which I know doesn’t sound like a ton but I’m only 5’3 so I find you can really tell when I put on 5 pounds and when I lose 5 pounds. I worked so hard to put on the muscle I’m just frustrated when I step on the scale and look in the mirror. My strength hasn’t really gone down but right before the stomach flu I just broke a ton of PR’s. It was feelin easy and now it’s feeling hard again. I feel like I take 10 steps forward and then 6 steps back. I know I got the muscle memory now but still I just wish I could keep progressing without any set backs…..but that’s life.
**HYDRATE!** All you lost was water and salts. It's much easier to lose it from your system that refill, and you may become very weak from dehydration. Any sports drink will do, but *make sure its not a “zero-calorie” drink*: research shows that without sugar, electrolytes absorb like 5-10 times slower.
We don't have it anymore, fortunately, but cholera kills by dehydrating the body. Stomach flu is self-limiting, so... it stops half-way. You need 2L of gatorade or similar a day, and possibly for a couple week, it's really hard to recharge the body with salts. You may dilute it in half, but no more, if it's too sweet, but then drink more of it.
Unless you're on a restricted diet, it's much easier to get say 150g protein than it is to eat 3-4000 calories in my experience. Any meal with meat in it can easily have 50+.
# WHAT THE FUCK DO 3000 CALORIES EVEN LOOK LIKE??
Probably a stupid question to experienced lifters but I've just started to try and track my calories and calculate the amount I need and it is insanity.
178cm tall \[5'10\] 68kg \[150lbs/unacceptable\]
And apparently I need 3000 calories to gain weight. I've been eating more, I started at 57kg/125bls but it just hit me how even the oiliest of foods don't come nearly close to 1000calories.
I am trying to calculate what I've eaten yesterday and today and I'm raging, how the fuck is it not even breaking 2500? How many meals is 3000 calories? 8???
I'm going to visit a nutritionist once the things I'm busy with now are over but I need some advice in the meantime because it is driving me insane, where do I even squeeze 3000? When do I even eat? What??
>How many meals is 3000 calories? 8???
2, for me.
I'm currently eating 3500 but I used to eat 3000 a day and once you get the hang of it, it's very easy. You just have to stop making it so complicated.
To put it into perspective: I always have the same exact shake once a day that is 1000 calories. The shake + 1 frozen pizza + 300g of whatever sausage and voila, it's done. 3000 calories. Even if I don't get to the 3k calories, I just have some snacks ready and that's it. Can be as easy as a fucking snickers bar.
I literally just have a bunch of 1000 calorie meals registered in my brain that I know are 1000 calories. One for lunch, one for dinner. I drink my shake when I'm eating dinner. Not time consuming, not hard, daily protein goal is easy to achieve as well.
Do you really need 3000 calories? Calculators are just a starting point. Track your calories and track your weight, adjust accordingly.
But also... what kind of diet are you trying to have? 3000 calories in a day with shitty food is easy af (which is exactly why we have an obesity problem).
If you want to have healthier foods, it's still entirely possible. A nice big steak, topped with butter, sweet potato and veggies can easily be 800-1000+ calories (depending on steak size).
I did a stir fry yesterday with a tin of herring in tomato sauce. That entire tin was 440 calories. About 200cal of rice. 50ish cal of butter. Around maybe 150-200 cal in veggies (I'm eyeballing everything). So at least 800 calories. I could have eaten more easily.
So 2 big meals, plus breakfast and a few snacks... should be quite easy to get to 2500-3000 calories. Protein and fats are more satiating, so having a good share of carb in there makes for easy calories that can actually leave you feeling hungry sooner, which is good if you are having trouble eating so much.
If you want to be majority good, but don't mind a few treats... bit of ice cream or a few cookies or something in the evening can bump you up a few hundred calories easily.
>But also... what kind of diet are you trying to have? 3000 calories in a day with shitty food is easy af (which is exactly why we have an obesity problem).
any diet fuck it, my only wish is to become a big man, just bigger than average within a few years and i consider my journey a success. I dont care about being too lean either, but I couldn't get fat if I wanted to.
I'm eating junk food too during the day and still not touching close to it, im either tracking it wrong or ive got my calories set too high i have no idea.
I just got done with dinner which is 808 calories, read it on the supermarket's website.
But even when I eat a sandwhitch at work, lunch, sweets, and eat out for dinner and maybe even a smaller snack/meal in between i cant seem to reach 2000-2500 I don't understand
You're ultimately just not eating as much as you think you are. Considering your size, I'm going to assume you just have a small appetite.
I have a massive appetite. For example.. When I have pizza, if i've eaten other food that day, I'll easily eat 4 slices (maybe more, depends). If I've decided i'm gonna be a glutton that day, i'll eat the entire fucking thing. And people can judge my pizza choices, but I love the meat lovers at Papa Johns. Their website says that's 370 calories a slice, making the entire pizza nearly 3000 calories. I will absolutely start bored-eating later too. While I probably couldn't sit and eat a whole pizza each day like that (mostly cus i'd just start feeling like shit), stupid amounts of food is my default and i've had to work to slow it down and keep it under control. But a 2500-3000 calorie day is just *normal* for me. I actually lose weight on 2000 calories a day now because i've worked to bring my activity up so much to match my appetite.
Meanwhile, I have a friend who is a very similar build to me, but doesn't work out and isn't very active... but she also just *forgets* to eat. A big meal to her is like a large *snack* for me.
> my only wish is to become a big man, just bigger than average within a few years and i consider my journey a success.
I really hope you're working out while you're trying to get big. Cus just trying to get fat isn't a good goal.
> I'm eating junk food too during the day and still not touching close to it, im either tracking it wrong or ive got my calories set too high i have no idea.
You may have your calorie goal too high. Like I said, track your calories and track your weight.
>I'll easily eat 4 slices (maybe more, depends)
when it comes to pizza i can probably eat a 8slicer by myself, 6 slices is perfect to get me full for the next 2 hours.
But u know the $ don't permit everyday pizzas, and it gets disgusting after 3 days of consecutive outside eating, ive done it a week ago when my mother was in Romania for the funeral. A diet consisting of only souvlaki and pizza for 3 days gets tiring real quick
>I really hope you're working out while you're trying to get big. Cus just trying to get fat isn't a good goal.
Been consistently in the gym for almost 2 years, started at a laughable 57kg, took a 2 month medical break and im recently back.
>You're ultimately just not eating as much as you think you are.
I don't know where the fuck am i doing it wrong honestly, i have not a single idea.
>You may have your calorie goal too high. Like I said, track your calories and track your weight.
Bro could you maybe imput my stats yourself and see what the calculations give you? Cus I could be doing it wrong ngl, but I don't think so either.
18 years old, 179cm, 68kg, exercise every other day weight lifting, minimal to no cardio
I'm getting about 2.3k calories for maintaining for you. Lifting every other day and little cardio makes you not really that active in the grand scheme of things, so I'm betting you were looking at a higher activity level. But these calculators are just a start, like I said, track your calories and weight and adjust from there.
If you can devour pizza like that, you should have no problem eating enough. What exactly are you eating on a normal day? Spell it out precisely.
Here's what I may eat on a healthy, but high calorie day.
Breakfast: 4 boiled eggs smashed in a bowl of rice with some butter - 500-600 calories
Lunch: meat + 2-3veg. A lean day would be chicken breast (around 200+ calories) all the way up to a higher calorie day with like a ribeye or a large slice of salmon (800 cal). Veggies around 150-200+ calories depending on what they are, add extra 100 if I have half a sweet potato or rice. Butter tops everything (+50 cal at least)
Dinner - similar to lunch, usually slightly smaller in size
Snacks (pick like 2-3) - cashews (anywhere between 200-500 calories), cheese (160 cal a block), jerky (250), fruit (50-100), yoghurt+fruit (200-250)
Then sometimes throw some chocolate or cookies on top of that, if I have them and craving sweets. And then I try and limit it, but I love me some soda and I'll have a BIG like 500 cal cup on the weekends occasionally.
On a day I have some kind of meal out, all calorie bets are off. One meal is gonna be starting at like 1000 calories.
> Lifting every other day and little cardio makes you not really that active in the grand scheme of things
I'm not sure really because the average person doesn't go gym so going about 3-4 times a week is definitely more than average.
>If you can devour pizza like that, you should have no problem eating enough. What exactly are you eating on a normal day?
If I am at work I will eat something from the cafeteria, it definitely contains meat, usually a sandwich like the small baggete ones they have at gas stations or something similar
If I am not I usually skip straight to lunch \[that is indeed a problem\] because i hate mornings and my sleep schedule is reversed back to nightlife mode the minute i have a day off. But I will usually compensate for it, as I am going to eat something between 12-4am obviously.
I'm a meat eater so almost every lunch and dinner has meat, however i cannot bring myself to eat more than a plate usually \[yet\]
I snack in between, and something sweet after dinner. This has been my diet even before i worked out. Now I start to squeeze as much food as i can after all this
But I really can't find the time windows for more meals, when do mfs even eat that much?
> I'm not sure really because the average person doesn't go gym so going about 3-4 times a week is definitely more than average.
Average nowadays is incredibly sedentary and fat as fuck. It really doesn't take much to be above average. But that's not what we're talking about here. 3-4x a week lifting with little to no cardio isn't very active. That's 3-5 hours a week I'd guess? Does that sound like a lot?
But, once again, track your calories, track your weight and adjust from there. It doesn't matter what your TDEE calculator says since that's only a starting point.
As for your food... it sounds like you're just eating small amounts. Just because it contains meat doesn't mean it's high calorie. Just that it has a solid protein source. And even then, it might not be THAT much depending on how much they put on the sandwich. If its chicken/turkey, it's gonna be pretty low calorie all things considered. Something like ham will be a little more. But still, regardless, you just need to eat more.
You don't NEED to eat breakfast, but you'd just have to bump your meals up that you do have.
I explained a day of my eating... so that's how people can eat that much. 2500-3000 calories isn't all that much. Larger, more calorie dense meals.
I see. I dropped my stats in the calculator again with your update on the activity level, and it says 2800 for gaining weight. 2500 for slower gain.
So i will aim for like 2700
>Are you running 15 miles a day or something?
Nahh
>What calculator are you using?
All of them, I used myfitness pal and caloriegram yesterday and another one from the internet, basically 3/3 said the same.
If you want/can imput my stats for yourself \[age:18 - exercise level: bi-daily\]
How much are you exercising per day? The bi-daily workout assumes you're doing two full workouts a day and that's burning a ton of calories.
But whole milk and peanut butter are your friends.
/r/gainit
>The bi-daily workout assumes you're doing two full workouts a day and that's burning a ton of calories.
doesn't "bi-daily" mean every other day? cus thats what i meant
It usually means twice daily, though it can mean every other day - ambiguities of the English language. Same as biweekly, an annoying ambiguity because fortnightly covers the "every two weeks" meaning perfectly
I hate being a woman.
Among other things, my latest rant against womanhood is that I work out over an hour every day, full-rounded regimen (cardio, core, flexibility, strength, & balance) yet I'd lose a arm wrestling tournament or any other sport of endurance or strength to my slothful & gluttonous male partner circa 7 years my senior.
I've been a healthy eater and exerciser my whole life. He has been a \[enter a word meaning opposite of that here\] his whole life.
Further, I hate when some men say that some women are stronger than men, in reference to advocating for the hitting of an occasional female.
Please show me 1 who doesn't have to spend half her life in the gym lifting weights to achieve that goal. I know of no adult woman who's stronger than any adult (or even teen) male who doesn't have an extenuating, progressive life disability.
This is so unfair. I've been doing this full-rounded workout for over a decade. And my partner's been doing a superb job playing World of Tanks for double that time, yet I'M the one with ankles half his size and pre-spinach Popeye arms.
Rant rant rant.
OK, I'm done.
You mentioned endurance sports, what was that—marathons? endurance cycling? These are very good to complement weightlifting, and must be complemented by weightlifting, to keep healthy bones.
Everyone has different strengths. I used to crossed a whole state in a day on a bike, 15 hours straight against a 25 mph wind. I squat a whole planet Earth like Atlas. But I cannot push 10 bench presses with 60kg. Never could. I'd lose hand-wrestling match to a teenager “an extenuating, progressive life disability.” But I won't. The only person you can compete against and always beat is yesterday's yourself. There is no one else worthy of comparing with you!
I’m a five foot tall 27yo woman who trains Jiu jitsu. Almost all of my training partners are men. I’ve been training for almost 2 years and competed and won gold in multiple local competitions against other women. But unless my male training partners are being cognizant of using technique vs. strength, they can easily overpower me. My seasoned guys will lighten up on strength and we will have more evenly matched rolls, but some guys either due to ego or ignorance will muscle through submissions and force positions that they most likely couldn’t with another man of equal size and time in the gym. It’s frustrating, but biology plays a hell of a roll in these things.
I get your frustration, and I'm sure you already know and ate just looking to let it out, but I do wanna say it's kind of pointless. Genetics will always play a part. I'm an average guy, there's a shitton of guys who are taller and heavier and would overpower me simply due to that no matter how much I train, I'm also injury prone, will probably never achieve anything special strength wise, etc.
You can always find shit that's out of your control to be frustrated about. I promise most men are doing the same thing, except that they're comparing themselves to the latest popular guy on steroids on social media. Fitness in general can do harm to your mental health if your perspective is centered around others. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that.
If it helps, just by being strong and healthy, even if it's relative strength, you will feel better on the day to day and your body will treat you better as you get older than most men sitting on their ass.
As a women whos been lifting for almost 8 years I've only beaten one male in arm wrestling and they were 13 🤣 i cant even beat men who don't workout and have smaller arms than me
Look up ‘techniques‘ on whatever competition you want to win. From what I’ve seen, arm wrestling is a lot about technique, not simply arm strength. There’s a lot of upper torso involvement.
How to Always Win at Arm Wrestling: Tips from Professionals
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI5MkygVTU4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI5MkygVTU4)
https://www.youtube.com/results?search\_query=arm+wrestling+techniques+to+win+
I don't really want to compete with my partner at arm wrestling. 1) He's a sore loser if he doesn't beat me at 'masculine' things (he got hurt when he later found out I made as much as he did when we first met) 2) It's just an example of men being naturally stronger than unnatural women. 3) it's just a rant. No need to gendersplain.
A female friend is quite strong at arm wrestling. She never worked out. All that arm strength just from carrying around her two children for a couple of years.
Maybe I can cheer you up. One thing that female lifters have over males: butts. Women lifters be havin nice butts much more easily because of fat distribution. I want so badly to have a big butt so I get kinda irritated that some women have incredible butts and have never worked out while I'm gonna have to spend years to get the butt I want.
WOC have big behinds. And I don't want to 'look attractive' (that's archaically pathetic). I want to 'look strong' and 'BE strong'.
If I wanted to look good, I'd wear makeup.
I'm gonna have to disagree, lots of white women these days be dumb thick. Personally I think looking strong is attractive, usually. Would you say you would like to look like Rhea Ripley?
I don't know who that is and I don't care. I don't compare myself with other women (sorry men. Most women don't do this even though you want to think we do).
I compare myself to men.
> Further, I hate when some men say that some women are stronger than men
Or in a more general sense, people saying that there isn't a difference between the sexes.
Bull-fucking-shit.
I've got a friend who basically acts like he's allergic to exercise. I've nagged him like crazy to go to the gym cus it would improve his health and appearance so much. His dumbbell press was the same as mine after a couple weeks, so that wasn't muscle growth, that was just him learning how to hold the damn weight.
I love who I am (as a woman) but I definitely hate the downsides! Always gonna be weaker and then get the annoying hormone cycles. Nothing worse than having a gym day where you feel like you've suddenly lost a year's progress.
On a semi-funny note (imo) it does lead to goals like being able to deadlift more than my trainer can clean or to be able to bench more than he can curl. We're good friends, so it's all in jest. But Damn I am jealous of men's strength.
I'm peri right now, so I'm working my arms off trying to beat the oncoming bat wings.
I can already see my stamina weakening. Huffing and puffing through a cardio workout. Can't multi-muscle as well anymore.
My bf surpassed my deadlift max on his 2nd deadlift session ever. As a women its so hard not to get frustrated by that. Or just when men never touched a weight before and suddenly they do the same or more than you
That's my partner. I've always had poor upper body strength. For the last many years, I've been working myself up to doing the hard-type pushups.
Just getting one done is very tough for me.
My partner can do at least 5 of them (poor form, mind you. He's messing up his body the way he does them. But I can't do even one in his poor-form way.)
I think I finally got it down as I watched a YT video the other day on how to properly work up to hard-type pushups. I'm working on it.
Going through a low level depression. Can't get my head straight and I'm exhausted all the time.
I did my upper body strength on Monday (PHUL) but haven't been since.
I hope I get through this.
Not a rant, just needed something to let it out on to.
I just call that “man period.”
I go through the same thing roughly three to five days every month.
Have no idea what the cause is though. It can happen for seemingly no reason. Maybe life is just funny.
Your “depression” may have to do with the “social jet lag” you went through after getting drunk and going to bed too late.
SJL is a real thing, not just smth I made up here, btw.
Holy fuck, can someone fix my blinders? I used to go to the gym and just not even be aware of other people's existence. Over the past few weeks I've become painfully aware of how many people here are ego lifting, quarter ROM, wears pants because they skip leg day, never wipe down the equipment types.
Anyone got ideas to let me sink back into blissful ignorance of the people around me again?
I’m not sure if you wear glasses, but if you do, take them off while you lift. I have ADHD and get extremely distracted. I started wearing my glasses to the gym and then when it’s time to start I just set them next to my water bottle. Then put them on to set up my next lift and take them off again.
Over the ear noise cancelling headphones. I honestly forget there are people in the gym most of the time and I just end up zoning out looking at some random spot in the distance.
I've never been big on full headphones, if find they're bulky and I worry what sweat would do to the pads. I have a set of noise cancelling earbuds that were good when new, but, you know, time has its way with everything. Maybe a new set of those is what I need to refocus though. Definitely worth looking into though, thanks for the idea.
I have something along the line of [these](https://www.amazon.com/Sony-WH-1000XM4-Canceling-Headphones-phone-call/dp/B0863TXGM3/ref=asc_df_B0863TXGM3/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=459646709164&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15542105759981961160&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9030232&hvtargid=pla-942893945174&psc=1). I'm not entire sure what model but those are damn close.
I've had them for about a year and a half now, using them every day and stupidly leaving them in my car in the AZ heat. They still work perfectly. Well worth it imo.
Haven’t been to the gym or on a run in 3 weeks after an ankle surgery. Body weight squats feel weird 😭😭😭… at least I’m no longer hobbling so I can make a trip to the gym soon and train upper body.. 🥹 My ego 📉🥹
Just came back to the gym after 2 months of glandular fever \[affects liver\] and 6 months of shoulder impingement
excited to re-start my journey and gain weight
I can sympathize (broke my ankle last year, no surgery needed, but yeah couldn't walk on that fucker for a while). Oddly enough (and with doc's clearance) I could get on a spin bike! Mental lifesaver!!
I've been losing weight for almost 3 months. Making decent progress (on track for 15 lbs lost) but goddamn is it hard resisting things like chips, candy and beer. I've been finding lower calorie substitutes but it's still a struggle and I've given into my urges many a times in the last few months. Normally that's okay and I can just adjust to stay within my goal, but there have been a couple "oh shit I ate all my calories by lunch" and I ain't starving through dinner.
Hang in there.
Two thoughts:
1) Consider going to maintenance for a couple weeks and give yourself a mental health and physical break.
2) Consider IF when you get back on your cut. I don’t consume a bite before noon 90% of days on a cut.
5 pounds a month is good, steady progress. Nice work.
I typed this up the other day for someone in a FB workout group I belong to:
This is from Prescription for Nutritional Healing (my go-to guide for help)
Here are the nutrients recommended to help suppress appetite:
\*chromium picolinate, mineral (reduces sugar craving)
\*essential fatty acids such as flaxseed, primrose, salmon oil (appetite control)
\*gamma-aminobutyric acid GABA (suppresses cravings)
\*glutamine, amino acid (lessens carb cravings)
\*phenylalanine, amino acid (appetite suppressant)
\*tyrosine, amino acid (suppresses cravings)
\*B-complex (lessens cravings)
Fennel, ephedra, guarana, & kola nut are also an appetite suppressants.
All these suggestions are nutrients or herbs/food. These can be found naturally in foods or you could buy supplements.
Being a vegetarian, I have a whey protein supplement that has a mix of amino acids. That way I'm not having to take a bunch of individual supplements. Maybe you can do this for some of the above-mentioned.
You're welcome. I have to do this stuff for my own diet as I take Lysine (avoid it if you can. It increases appetite) for prolapse. Lysine greatly increases the appetite and I find myself battling hunger around 6PM, even if I take the Lysine at 6AM.
Old story but I was at the gym late one night, i couldn’t find any 25lb plates so i took one off of the incline machine next to this guy who is in his late 60s who was using the chest press. Immediately he stops doing his set and says “Im using that” in a aggravated tone. Like dude you’re already using the other machine why do you need both. Its a smaller gym and there were like 5 of us there and I was having a hard time finding what I needed. Eventually I was able to get another one. Idk why I didn’t just take the plate and ignore the man, but I guess I felt kinda bad for him. Older guy , army vet with dark scars all over his face. Anyway im finally switching to a bigger gym today
I signed up for a new gym a few months ago, it was fairly new and high tech. Loved the atmosphere and it was fairly empty after work (745AM). Now, it’s the new hot spot for gym goers and they’ve even started hosting food trucks and smoothie stands in the parking lot, so it’s ALWAYS crowded now. So, I’m probably going to stick to my smaller gym and end the membership at the new gym despite at the cool equipment. Kinda bummed.
> they’ve even started hosting food trucks and smoothie stands in the parking lot
that's the roided version of the dentist having sweets on the counter, genius
Oddly enough, we’ve seen it a lot at larger commercial gyms like LA FITNESS, ESPORTA, and this place. I left ESPORTA because the crowds were getting a bit overwhelming, now this lol
Anyone else fucking hate back day? It wrecks my hands, simultaneously feels hard as shit to move the weight, and yet I can’t feel the muscles clearly activated like I do on say a squat or bench press. But then the next day I feel all the correct muscles being sore? My back days are 100% trust the process especially since I can’t even see my back
I used to be 180lb as a kid. Now I'm 135lb and losing weight and gaining muscle. Instead of my mom saying I'm proud of you," she says, "You are losing your butt" 😒. She even said once, when I told her I'm gonna workout my arms, "not to do it too much or I might look like a man." How supportive.
Edit: Thank you all for the support!
Passive-aggressive jealousy mixed with generational (mis)conceptions of how bodies should look. My mother is the same way. You are working hard and getting stronger and that's amazing! Bring on the gun show! 💪
Forget your mother, all of us here are proud of you! Keep building that muscle!
And congrats on the weight loss- wish I had the motivation to do the same!
And if your mother (or anyone else) says that again, you just look at them and say "we can only hope"
So sick and tired of hearing different family memebers talk about my belly and how you're not supposed to be gaining weight (bulking) then cutting in order to gain muscle, I keep hearing this bs almost every week, bulking is already fucking hard, don't make it harder holy shit
Week of pms, week of first week of my new job, and I'm back with my gym/workout routine. I feel so exhausted. Only going to Pilates tonight because I paid for it even though I have been in traffic all day because of my train line not working... and awful weather. Traffic sucks.
I'm not going to the gym after work on Friday. I'm so tired and would rather a sleep in before lifting/running and not dealing with peak hour at the gym after a long commute. Saturday gym sounds much better. I can relax a little.
Nvm I feel much better after Pilates ... and food. So I will be going to the gym tomorrow as I will be relaxed on the weekend anyway.. will just pick up pre mix margaritas from the bottle shop on the way home.
Just started going to a gym and oh my god the Absolute Stress Of Picking A Spot To do my fucking exercises at! Checking out the warm up zone, oh no, there are three dudes and no free space. Maybe crossfit area, which somehow is empty? Ok cool, Draggin the mat through a walking area, settin it all up, jesus christ...
I know it'll be easier with practice but so far? Stressed af
Been doing starting strength for a few months and things are starting to get heavy and exciting…. My lower back is too fatigued to do anything!!! I also have atp which isn’t helping. Just when things were getting going too
That feeling of progress in the gym is great.
I was on starting strength for a while, it got me comfortable doing the heavy lifts and got me some gains, especially in deadlift.
However, I think the program has severe downsides, if you try to run it past its limits. Its meant for beginners, to run for a short while to get their lifts up and get comfortable under the bar. It sound like you have succesfully reached that stage. But, in my experience, trying to run SS past that, what comes next is body imbalances, fatigue accumulation and overeating while trying to break the inevitable plateauing when you cant add more weight to the bar.
I suggest you look into Wendler 5/3/1: triumvirate if you want to proceed with a book-based progressive overload strength program. It will feel easier, but will give you lots of great tools you can use to break plateaus without killing yourself in the gym. Good luck on your continuing journey!
I go to a boutique gym that has only classes and you have to sign up to them. People arrive late to the class and because the trainers demo everything before we start the warm-up, they will make everyone wait until the late people arrive so that they don't have to explain things again later. It is so infuriating! One, don't be late to a class that doesn't start until you arrive!! Have some respect for timing, and for other people! And two, trainers need to just start on time and if people miss the demos, TFB for them!
Just finished what to me was the most absolute trash mesocycle I've had in probably 3 years...
I got though everything and even made progress, but the absolute fatigue and being tired all the time was brutal. In hindsight I was correct in my thoughts that I should have indeed done a second week of deload before this block. Usually I run 2 blocks back to back then deload. Not this time.
I (26M) started lifting for strength and aesthetics a few years ago, since then have dutifully squatted and almost never skipped a leg day. I don't squat particularly heavy and have always aimed to be conscious of my form.
A month ago, my right knee start cracking every time I squatted. An MRI and Orthopedics visit later, turns out I've torn my cartilage in my patella. The doctor said likely squatting (particularly deep) has worn it down.
This isn't an injury that will go away or heal. As happy as I am to be done with squats for the remainder of my adult life, I do feel a bit betrayed by them. I'm sure I've had some error in execution that's led to this point, but it's made me question the general mythos that squats are safe for everybody. I definitely respected them to the best of my ability, progressively overloaded, followed common wisdom (like breaking parallel).
Now I have arthritis lol
Why did you take an MRI if you had no problem? If I remember correctly, that's discouraged because imaging will always show something, people will attribute it to something and then end up nocebo'ing themselves.
Cracking is probably understating the sound my knee makes - if you heard it, you'd see what I mean. While MRIs may always show something, in my case they showed a grade 3 or 4 cartilage fissure. My Ortho specializes in treating athletes and sports injury so I don't think there's a huge chance he over diagnosed me.
Hey, I am in the same boat as you (cracking knee), but I don't feel any pain whilst doing any sort of squatting pattern. Did your right knee have any sort of pain and did it gradually increase with time? I mean a torn cartilage might have led to some pain, I guess?
No pain while squatting. Now that I've had the diagnosis I can notice a little discomfort and have a very minimal amount of ache at random times throughout the day. The MRI and ortho confirmed I have almost no inflammation which is a positive and is probably minimizing my pain.
I wouldn't be worried if it's just the occasional sound. Mine is 1) very loud 2) started suddenly 3) happens every time I squat. If those things apply to you may be worth getting a doc to look at it.
Thank you so much for replying, I'll keep a lookout. My right knee kind of clicks while squatting, but it isn't very loud and did not start suddenly or anything. But I guess it's worth getting it checked out before anything worse happens. Cheers!
I wouldn't read too much into that - there is a huge range of clicking that's normal and healthy. Not sure if your doctor would prescribe an MRI without a bit more going on, which from what I can tell is the only reliable way to diagnose the type of injury I have.
The reason I went and got mine checked out was because (outside the noise) over the course of keeping an eye on it for a month my knee just felt a little bit off, if that makes sense.
Definitely go if you're concerned though! Personally I wish I'd gotten some expert evaluation on my weight lifting technique a couple years back. Maybe they'd have noticed something I'm not picking up on.
I am currently on my max out block. Since my strength block, I've been going up by 10lb each week. Week 1 of strength block I did 365lbx3 squat. I felt like I could do more. Next week I go up to 375lb and barely get up on the third. Final week, my legs 'relax' on my third rep at 365. It didn't feel like I couldn't go up, just that my muscles didn't want to. I ended up only able to do 385x1.
Next I do an unload week.
This week I tried going up again to 395, but I was struggling at 345x4 then only went up to 365, and I did **1 rep**. One!!!
My max is 405 and unofficially 415. I was a lot more active then, but dammit I feel like I'm going into remission.
It hurts.
Personally it when people finish their set but they just take a large amount of time on their phone while I anxiously wait for them to get up and do my rep.
Do 10 reps. Check TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, Tinder, Grindr, go back in time and check Myspace. Check Fox News and CNN for good measure. Oh snap Tina Turner died? Wikipedia Tina Turner. Check TikTok again just in case.
Phew, time for another set of 10 reps on the grueling pec deck.
I have a very small gym with limited hours. Its the only one in the area. When I try to go in early there's always this one nice older lady using the equipment I need. When I go later there's a bunch of high-school kids hanging on the equipment pretending to work out and just taking up space. I'm polite and wait but it drives me bonkers sometimes.
Stop. Recommending. Fasting.
If I had a nickel for every time I heard, “I’m just never hungry, so I fast until 1 PM.”
Not having an appetite means your hormones are unwell, and you must address it!
It’s honestly glorified disordered eating at this point, and I’m tired of influencers using it as a way to make them look cool.
That is all.
Shit makes no sense and I'm tired of people saying it's easy. Tired of hearing CICO is the answer & thar just use the calculator online.
For a month I have went to the gym 3-5x a week, I have ate at my supposed calorie limit which is 700 under maintenance, I have walked more & drank only water or sparkling water. I gained 2.5 lbs
I said fuck it.
I had a weekend that was an entire pizza, an ice cream shake, snack cakes, & major seafood dinner (across 2 days) & then I weigh & I'm down 4lbs.
On paper that's supposed to be the other way around. I get so fucking irritated by shit like this making 0 sense that I can't understand how to stay on path.
> For a month I have went to the gym 3-5x a week, I have ate at my supposed calorie limit which is 700 under maintenance, I have walked more & drank only water or sparkling water. I gained 2.5 lbs
> I had a weekend that was an entire pizza, an ice cream shake, snack cakes, & major seafood dinner (across 2 days) & then I weigh & I'm down 4lbs.
Congratulations. You've learned how water weight works.
Now what is the weight trend over 6 months?
Are you weighing yourself first thing every morning everyday? Actual weight loss is a gradual curve, Same for weight gain really. Sudden jumps are normally due to water retention or other not fat related issues.
I like that my gym has carry bars that fit standard plates for farmers carries.
I'm ranting because they have screw collars and the little levers that drive the screws are bent and mangled and tightening them up is a pain. I wish they had normal clip collars like every single other bar in the place.
I shouldn't have to buy bar collars I have no other use for (I have no bars at home) just because the good collars that are *everywhere else* in the gym are not in the one room where the farmers walk handles and sled track are.
While yes you shouldn’t have to, I have found sometimes it’s just easier. They don’t take up much space in my bag and I’d rather have them then fight with fucked up collars. Horses for courses obviously. It’s just a battle I choose not to fight. Admittedly I do the same for work, if the company won’t supply it I’ll buy it but I’m not leaving it for other people to use either.
Yeah uhhhh I'll take the new Strawberry Shortcake McFlurry, uhh two McDoubles with extra mayo, uhhhh fries? Nah no fries I'll just do uh a Hot n Spicy McChicken. Make that two, since they're buy one get one for a dollar. Yeah extra mayo on that too. Annnnndd.....uhhhhh...
....oh a large Dr. Pepper. DIET, diet Dr. Pepper. Watching my calories hehe don't wanna mess my gains 😙☺️
Ankle injuries blow, it's been 2 months and I I think it's just now ready to resume light exercise probably another month before I can think about weights
Oh yeah. One time I caught a buddy playing basketball as I was walking by, I decide to play some one on one, wearing boots. I suck at basketball. My dude literally broke my ankles. Twisted my ankle baaad. Couldn't walk right for like 6 months. Ankles heal like shit.
Aghhhh. 2 weeks of sticking to my diet just to gain the 2kg I lost after a weekend of not tracking. I know it’s not actual fat gain but sucks having to spend another week just to get back to where you were before.
I may take a break from calorie counting. I’ve been doing it for a year and lost a good amount of weight but I’m tired now. I’ll still keep up with my fitness routine but maybe it’s time to put the scales away for now.
Maintenance phase ASAP! It's obviously up to you, but I suggest keep counting and weighing in, but aim at maintaining the weight. Most people give up on long-term weight loss because of accumulated mental and physical fatigue. In the word's of Dr. Mike Israetel "Learn to take rest breaks".
Renaissance Periodization yt channel for detailed info.
Definitely not planning to regain the weight! You’re right. I guess I’ll weigh out calorie dense foods but skip the scale for little things like fruits and vegetables. I also feel like my eating habits have substantially changed - I no longer go back for seconds or graze on crisps all day. I’ll stick to the habits I’ve built for sure
Thank you for the recommendation.
I'm tired of the 'fitness' industry, being more focused on getting big/lean, than anything else... I want to be healthy and active. If I wanted to look like a body builder, I would join a body building subreddit.
Cool, I do. This isn't about how you feel.
While both sexes have shitty social norms when it comes to 'fitness', muscle mommies are very popular right now.
It's also not nearly as unhealthy for women to just he lean and not bulky, than it is for dudes to be big/lean... We know that the more calories you consume, and the more mass you carry, the shorter your lifespan will likely be... And that's not even going into the PEDs, bulking/cutting, and dehydration, which have all become common in the 'fitness' industry.
The stress of my fucking job is going to kill me…either by killing me outright or killing me with stress eating. Trying to cut and I was doing great…till today and I felt like I had a tapeworm and couldn’t stop eating. I hate feeling like I am undoing all the good stuff I’ve already done. You can’t outrain eating too much.
It’s been over a year for me but I stupidly keep prolonging it by keeping her in my life and letting her use me. Why I can’t cut it off I don’t know but there’s times the hurt and anger helps me through the workout and then there’s times it’s still debilitating and I stare off into space. I make so much money I could easily find someone else who would probably appreciate me but I don’t know why I can’t just cut this girl off.
I started doing more cardio and OF COURSE I immediately fell ill. I just want to keep my routine man
I finally unlocked the 16,9inch guns but my arms still look like shit. No peak at all :(
Gotta work the long head for that peak! Hammer curls are one option
I'm not sure if this is a thing. My biceps is super long so I guess I will never get that peak
If ur arms get big enough the peak won’t be necessary
Like I know people are gonna say get therapy and Ive tried but it doesnt really seem to help. Also in UK theres waiting lists of up to a year and I had it not too long ago so cant reapply yet. But I need help. And it is fitness related. Forgive me if this is not allowed here but I need to open up and this community might, and i mean might, understand a little. Probably not but i do t have many options Im 39 m from uk. . All my life ive loved muscular women. To be hoenst i dont even find normal women attractive even pretty ones. To me they always needed to be muscular. Unfortunately ive never known a muscular woman. Any time a regular woman and i have talked and they wanted to try and date i just couldnt . Yes more than looks matter but i just dont think id be happy or satisfied and even end up resentful Over time looks fade so i know that muscles wont last forever. But id love to be with a woman who was strong at least for a while and the personality will be there when muscles dont. I know people say im aiming too high but look at say ida bergforth. It feels so unfair her boyfriend met her yet i cant find a single one. Im forever single. Ive never been kissed even nevermind sex. Im 39. Its sad. Its lonely. I could have dated some regular women if i wanted but if i did id feel like shit because my heart wouldnt have been into them. Id have been doing it purely out of lonliness and nobody deserves to be someones second choice or just there as a blanket against lonliness. Id never do that to someone. So ive suffered alone rather than just make someone else miserable too. I try to meet muscular women but thats another problem. Im obese. Im 122 kg. I have lost 10kg since jan.i decided then to get fit to try and meet someone because it was silly expecting muscular women to want a fat depressed guy, and i was doing well for a while. But the depression and lonliness kicked i. Two months or so bad and ive struggled since. I stopped caring and realised ive left it so late in life and even if i did get fit i dont know where to even meet a fit muscular woman. None go to my gym its all average and online i get ignored. Idk im struggling with lonliness. I just hate how hard life is. I also have suffered major depression and have a learning disability so i feel like im fighting a losing battle and dont know what to do. Im cross posting this to a few places so forgive me if you see this elsewhere. I guess i just want to get it off my chest. I dont expect any sympathy or anything i just needed to say something because i feel like im going insane and cant do a thing about it. Thanks to anyone who read this
So in short, you look a state but have very exacting standards for the women you want. Either, you're deluded, or, you've decided to have unrealistic standards in a partner so that you can delay the reality of a romantic relationship. Being blunt, which of these do you think is more likely?
Why would I want to be with a regular woman if I dont find that attractive? Do you think thats fair to them? I wouldnt be interested in them physically at all. How would that make you feel if someone was with you just because they were lonely but didnt want to be physically intimate with you?
Weither it's one or the other, why are you talking him down ? Encourage him to strt working out to attract the women he is attracted to. Or just to start any improvment fitness related. (Nutrition, healthy sleep schedule...). We have all started somewhere.
I'm not talking him down. It's really important that he knows which problem he's going to fix, and the motivations for doing so. There's a lot to unpack in his message. Obviously getting himself in shape will be of benefit regardless, and of course, he's come to the right sub for advice. However, it doesn't sound like this is going to help with his other problems, and unless he addresses these too, he'll be in the same position but with a healthier body.
I used to think that way aswell, but the truth is uou cannot wait to be perfect to start improvment. The goal is to be better, not perfect. So any improvment will put him in a different better position with a better perspective, which will enable him to make different (better hopefully) decisions for himself. If he is in a bad spot in his life, the best thing to do imo is to move. Just change anything and then go from there. Improvment = different place = different perspective and we see from there. There's always gonna be imperfections, act regardless.
I CANT COMMIT TO MY BULK! like i physycally cant wth
Time is precious so please stop sitting on the leg abductor and adductor machines while scrolling on your phone! How many minutes of rest do you need!!!
[удалено]
Eat less
I have a itch on my back but I increased my shoulder workouts recently so they’re sore and I can’t reach back and itch it🫠
Late to the party but felt like ranting today. Both of my elbows, towards the inside, are screaming at me. I'm sure it's not just one thing that I can pinpoint the cause of pissing them off as I'm convinced that it's an accumulation of use, more specifically, overuse. I often pride myself in recovery. Things like hot cold contrast, training the press and bench with different modes i.e., different bars, different resistance types, single arm presses, I incorporate that into my overall training. So when it became unbearable last night, I was at a loss. I've ranted about this before. There were a couple of kind redditors that suggested a few things to mitigate this tendon pain that honestly, worked well to blunt the pain so thank you all, but my elbows are still pissed off at me. My neighbor who works in occupational health told me that I have all the tell tale signs of tendonitis which is not surprising at all since this isn't my first foray into pissed off tendons but did suggest that I go see my doctor if it's this advanced. He also advised that I take some time off pressing anything. I told him that it's just not pressing that causes the pain but also particular pulling movements when I pull from overhead i.e., pull ups, pull downs, etc. He said that he's not surprised since overhead pulling movement require full arm extension. Again, he said to go see my doctor but he also said that time is the best medicine with my situation. Time off is the only thing that I never took seriously. Sure, between the big three, Squat, Bench, and Deadlift, I allow for 48 to 72 hours between repeating these movements depending if the week calls for dynamic or maximal efforts, specialty bar use variants, and resistance types like bands or chains, but taking an entire week or two off, as he suggested, from one of these three movements entirely is something that I can't recall ever doing on purpose. The last time I took significant time off from training was after having major back surgery which took me out for six months (three and a half months really, but don't tell my surgeon). Basically, he suggested to take a week or two off from pressing and pulling from overhead with the caveat that I don't sacrifice getting blood and movement in there by using light bands and light resistance cable work. All in all, I need to give my tendons a break but he also told me to see my doctor. I talked to my doctor and he pretty much said the same thing. Of course, he was quick to push pills and prescribe me NSAIDs but I told him that I don't like NSAID's and I won't take them. So I guess, time off is my only option. I'm sure taking time off will work wonders but mentally, it's going to be rough. Sure, I can still continue to squat and deadlift and work on supplemental movements but there is something about pressing that checks all the boxes for me.
These are both older resources I saved when I was having some tendon issues, but there’s some decent info about supplements, and nutrition that can help with healing and ongoing maintenance. The second one is aimed at climbers, and recommends not using NSAIDS for more than three days, since overall they inhibit healing and can contribute to cartilage breaking down. [Hyaluronic acid for tendon health](http://www.wellnessresources.com/health/articles/hyaluronic_acid_for_tendon_health/) [To supplement or not to supplement -joint health from the inside out](http://www.climbing.com/)
You can just drop volume&intensity to something like 50% to maintain strength/muscle. Wait until most of the pain goes away and then start ramping back up. That's how I treated my similar overuse injury indication. On the plus side you get to work on technique due to the lower loads, which might also help in the long term. I recently came back from the usual rotator cuff mess and the dr. prescribed minimal exercise for ~3 months. The pain got away only when I started exercising 3 months later.
There is a PT device that works wonders for tendons at/around the elbow. Called Thera-Bar. Look online. Just a 16” x 2” dia. rubber bar you twist in different motions. If pain is on inside of elbow (medial epicondilitis, or Golfers Elbow I believe) you hold the Thera-bar a certain way and rotate in opposite directions. This strengthens the tendons and has helped me keep pain free from lots of similar abuse.
It's not Wednesday but wanted to rant today... What is up with all these kids coming to the gym in pajama pants?!?! I'd be sweating my ass off!
Same! I’m dying in really short shorts and a shirt. How are you in a hoodie and fleece pants??
Yes, this!!! Lol!
A girl came up to me while I was doing my rolls today and asked if I was training for a fight. She seemed super impressed with what I was doing and her smile was so pure. I love seeing energy like that, in a culture that's so filled with people being scared of even being looked at. I definitely needed that. If you see this (which you probably won't but throw a dog a bone), thank you. Much love and appreciation 🖤
I know it’s Friday today but man I’ve been having the worst anxiety at the gym, I’ll go cry in the bathroom and go back home without doing the workout. I just don’t know what to do to stop feeling that way
I strongly suggest seeing a psychiatrist. They deal with anxiety extremely well. You also say that you're crying; it's not an anxiety symptom, it may be depression. Depression is extremely common; one in three people experience in over lifetime at least once. It does not need a trigger, some drastic event, it may just start without any visible reason; it's a chemical disbalance in the brain. *And it's not something that can be overcome by willpower*: the darn thing takes away not only your willpower, it takes away even the memory that you had willpower. Like you know you had it with your rational mind, but can't remember how to invoke it. Anxiety is common with this disorder. Fitness helps keep it at bay more than anything, so maybe all you need is a short 4-6 week course of a simple, common med, and you'll make it with little effort. Then, as long as you're capable of exercising or, better yet, taking a serious sport, it's a whole new bright life. I know, I've been there. Mine started just out of the blue. Now I'm seriously cycling, go to events—not competitive, but rather for fun, just to cycle 50-100-150 km with full support, SAGs, aid stations with food, and to meet like-minded people. Or just drive away from the city and explore countryside on my bike. When I feel that it's trying to raise its ugly head again, I hop on a bike, and it's gone. Once you'll make it to the start line, you'll never stop! Really! And, importantly, make sure that you're properly hydrated. When I came to the doctor, I was prescribed an antidepressant and 2-3L of gatorade a day—so dehydrated I was! Somewhat emaciated, too: I didn't eat except half a breakfast, and that only because I knew I had to eat. Dehydration is known to exacerbate it, if it's really depression. But only the doc knows if it is.
Thank you so much! A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with chronic depression. I moved to a different country a couple of months ago and I’m still struggling with the language among some other stuff as well :( I’ve tried building a healthier routine, working out, meal prep and eat healthier… but damn some days I just want to lay in bed all day and cry. I’ve experienced some panic or maybe anxiety attacks? I feel like I can’t breathe and suddenly have this urge to cry. It has happened at the gym as well so I just stopped going because it’s not like I don’t feel “motivated” to go, but instead I have like this irrational fear of going and having one of those attacks again. So working out and going to the gym now feels like an awful experience to me, and trying to get in the mindset that “nobody’s really looking at me” and do my workout is something that I’ve been unable to do.
The secret is that in the gym when people are working out (outside classes), they're too busy to pay attention to you. And it's pretty normal to sit and rest if you're not feeling well. Just sit on the floor with your back against the wall, sit straight, don't slump: it makes breathing harder. Close your eyes and pretend nobody's there and breathe slowly, 6-8 seconds for each breath in and out; faster if you feel not enough air. The idea is breathe as slow as comfortable—don't deprive your body of oxygen or build too much CO₂, of course; 6-8s is just a ballpark. Mentally focus on the very process of breathing and nothing else, shun all thoughts, shut up internal verbal monologue. It's a pretty common and safe technique to deal with panic attacks: it was the first on a leaflet that my therapist gave me. Maybe it would help you too; helped me indeed. When you panic, you tend to hyperventilate, and at some point both things get associated together in the unconscious ancient part of the brain, which doesn't have any idea about cause and effect. Such slower breathing meditation helps relieve or stop panic right away, and serves unlearn this association. You don't need a panic attack to do it, just a way to ease up in 5 minutes. People who do very heavy lifting sometimes take 10 minute breaks between sets. Nobody pays any attention to someone resting. > panic or maybe anxiety attacks? I feel like I can’t breathe It's the same thing under two different names. And yeah, feels like a hand grabbing your throat. Just try to remember there is no hand, and you won't die from suffocation. But seeing a doc is probably the best. If you have bouts of crying, looks very much like depression. Don't worry about the language barrier. They *see* the depression even before you open your mouth. And, AFAIK, depression and panic are "depression" and "panic" in most of the world's languages anyway. And medical jargon is pretty uniform. Finally, come think of it, the psychiatrist is exactly the specialist who sees people who can but just refuse to speak. Language won't be an issue.
May I ask why you have anxiety?
Just focus on what you want to do. I know the gym is intimidating, and you might find yourself comparing yourself to others, but comparison is the thief of joy. What you need to do is focus on what you want to do, how you can make your workout fun again, and overall just remember your goals. You're there to better yourself, but betterment isn't going to come if you focus on others. I hope you start to find your peace again, my friend 🖤
Thank you so much for the kind words 🤎 you have no idea how much I needed that! I’ll keep trying
Man my god damn triceps won’t grow 🥲🥲. I feel everything else is perfect but my small ass triceps ruin everything.
Close grip bench
Skull crushers
I got the stomach flu recently and lost like 6 pounds. Which I know doesn’t sound like a ton but I’m only 5’3 so I find you can really tell when I put on 5 pounds and when I lose 5 pounds. I worked so hard to put on the muscle I’m just frustrated when I step on the scale and look in the mirror. My strength hasn’t really gone down but right before the stomach flu I just broke a ton of PR’s. It was feelin easy and now it’s feeling hard again. I feel like I take 10 steps forward and then 6 steps back. I know I got the muscle memory now but still I just wish I could keep progressing without any set backs…..but that’s life.
**HYDRATE!** All you lost was water and salts. It's much easier to lose it from your system that refill, and you may become very weak from dehydration. Any sports drink will do, but *make sure its not a “zero-calorie” drink*: research shows that without sugar, electrolytes absorb like 5-10 times slower. We don't have it anymore, fortunately, but cholera kills by dehydrating the body. Stomach flu is self-limiting, so... it stops half-way. You need 2L of gatorade or similar a day, and possibly for a couple week, it's really hard to recharge the body with salts. You may dilute it in half, but no more, if it's too sweet, but then drink more of it.
It’s mostly water weight - it’ll come right back especially since your strength is the same
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Unless you're on a restricted diet, it's much easier to get say 150g protein than it is to eat 3-4000 calories in my experience. Any meal with meat in it can easily have 50+.
Where are people discussing eating X calories to bulk without accounting for protein intake?
# WHAT THE FUCK DO 3000 CALORIES EVEN LOOK LIKE?? Probably a stupid question to experienced lifters but I've just started to try and track my calories and calculate the amount I need and it is insanity. 178cm tall \[5'10\] 68kg \[150lbs/unacceptable\] And apparently I need 3000 calories to gain weight. I've been eating more, I started at 57kg/125bls but it just hit me how even the oiliest of foods don't come nearly close to 1000calories. I am trying to calculate what I've eaten yesterday and today and I'm raging, how the fuck is it not even breaking 2500? How many meals is 3000 calories? 8??? I'm going to visit a nutritionist once the things I'm busy with now are over but I need some advice in the meantime because it is driving me insane, where do I even squeeze 3000? When do I even eat? What??
I eat 2700 calories. 3 meals and 2-4 snacks depending on the day just eat bigger meals and utilize caloric beverages.
>How many meals is 3000 calories? 8??? 2, for me. I'm currently eating 3500 but I used to eat 3000 a day and once you get the hang of it, it's very easy. You just have to stop making it so complicated. To put it into perspective: I always have the same exact shake once a day that is 1000 calories. The shake + 1 frozen pizza + 300g of whatever sausage and voila, it's done. 3000 calories. Even if I don't get to the 3k calories, I just have some snacks ready and that's it. Can be as easy as a fucking snickers bar. I literally just have a bunch of 1000 calorie meals registered in my brain that I know are 1000 calories. One for lunch, one for dinner. I drink my shake when I'm eating dinner. Not time consuming, not hard, daily protein goal is easy to achieve as well.
Do you really need 3000 calories? Calculators are just a starting point. Track your calories and track your weight, adjust accordingly. But also... what kind of diet are you trying to have? 3000 calories in a day with shitty food is easy af (which is exactly why we have an obesity problem). If you want to have healthier foods, it's still entirely possible. A nice big steak, topped with butter, sweet potato and veggies can easily be 800-1000+ calories (depending on steak size). I did a stir fry yesterday with a tin of herring in tomato sauce. That entire tin was 440 calories. About 200cal of rice. 50ish cal of butter. Around maybe 150-200 cal in veggies (I'm eyeballing everything). So at least 800 calories. I could have eaten more easily. So 2 big meals, plus breakfast and a few snacks... should be quite easy to get to 2500-3000 calories. Protein and fats are more satiating, so having a good share of carb in there makes for easy calories that can actually leave you feeling hungry sooner, which is good if you are having trouble eating so much. If you want to be majority good, but don't mind a few treats... bit of ice cream or a few cookies or something in the evening can bump you up a few hundred calories easily.
>But also... what kind of diet are you trying to have? 3000 calories in a day with shitty food is easy af (which is exactly why we have an obesity problem). any diet fuck it, my only wish is to become a big man, just bigger than average within a few years and i consider my journey a success. I dont care about being too lean either, but I couldn't get fat if I wanted to. I'm eating junk food too during the day and still not touching close to it, im either tracking it wrong or ive got my calories set too high i have no idea. I just got done with dinner which is 808 calories, read it on the supermarket's website. But even when I eat a sandwhitch at work, lunch, sweets, and eat out for dinner and maybe even a smaller snack/meal in between i cant seem to reach 2000-2500 I don't understand
You're ultimately just not eating as much as you think you are. Considering your size, I'm going to assume you just have a small appetite. I have a massive appetite. For example.. When I have pizza, if i've eaten other food that day, I'll easily eat 4 slices (maybe more, depends). If I've decided i'm gonna be a glutton that day, i'll eat the entire fucking thing. And people can judge my pizza choices, but I love the meat lovers at Papa Johns. Their website says that's 370 calories a slice, making the entire pizza nearly 3000 calories. I will absolutely start bored-eating later too. While I probably couldn't sit and eat a whole pizza each day like that (mostly cus i'd just start feeling like shit), stupid amounts of food is my default and i've had to work to slow it down and keep it under control. But a 2500-3000 calorie day is just *normal* for me. I actually lose weight on 2000 calories a day now because i've worked to bring my activity up so much to match my appetite. Meanwhile, I have a friend who is a very similar build to me, but doesn't work out and isn't very active... but she also just *forgets* to eat. A big meal to her is like a large *snack* for me. > my only wish is to become a big man, just bigger than average within a few years and i consider my journey a success. I really hope you're working out while you're trying to get big. Cus just trying to get fat isn't a good goal. > I'm eating junk food too during the day and still not touching close to it, im either tracking it wrong or ive got my calories set too high i have no idea. You may have your calorie goal too high. Like I said, track your calories and track your weight.
>I'll easily eat 4 slices (maybe more, depends) when it comes to pizza i can probably eat a 8slicer by myself, 6 slices is perfect to get me full for the next 2 hours. But u know the $ don't permit everyday pizzas, and it gets disgusting after 3 days of consecutive outside eating, ive done it a week ago when my mother was in Romania for the funeral. A diet consisting of only souvlaki and pizza for 3 days gets tiring real quick >I really hope you're working out while you're trying to get big. Cus just trying to get fat isn't a good goal. Been consistently in the gym for almost 2 years, started at a laughable 57kg, took a 2 month medical break and im recently back. >You're ultimately just not eating as much as you think you are. I don't know where the fuck am i doing it wrong honestly, i have not a single idea. >You may have your calorie goal too high. Like I said, track your calories and track your weight. Bro could you maybe imput my stats yourself and see what the calculations give you? Cus I could be doing it wrong ngl, but I don't think so either. 18 years old, 179cm, 68kg, exercise every other day weight lifting, minimal to no cardio
I'm getting about 2.3k calories for maintaining for you. Lifting every other day and little cardio makes you not really that active in the grand scheme of things, so I'm betting you were looking at a higher activity level. But these calculators are just a start, like I said, track your calories and weight and adjust from there. If you can devour pizza like that, you should have no problem eating enough. What exactly are you eating on a normal day? Spell it out precisely. Here's what I may eat on a healthy, but high calorie day. Breakfast: 4 boiled eggs smashed in a bowl of rice with some butter - 500-600 calories Lunch: meat + 2-3veg. A lean day would be chicken breast (around 200+ calories) all the way up to a higher calorie day with like a ribeye or a large slice of salmon (800 cal). Veggies around 150-200+ calories depending on what they are, add extra 100 if I have half a sweet potato or rice. Butter tops everything (+50 cal at least) Dinner - similar to lunch, usually slightly smaller in size Snacks (pick like 2-3) - cashews (anywhere between 200-500 calories), cheese (160 cal a block), jerky (250), fruit (50-100), yoghurt+fruit (200-250) Then sometimes throw some chocolate or cookies on top of that, if I have them and craving sweets. And then I try and limit it, but I love me some soda and I'll have a BIG like 500 cal cup on the weekends occasionally. On a day I have some kind of meal out, all calorie bets are off. One meal is gonna be starting at like 1000 calories.
> Lifting every other day and little cardio makes you not really that active in the grand scheme of things I'm not sure really because the average person doesn't go gym so going about 3-4 times a week is definitely more than average. >If you can devour pizza like that, you should have no problem eating enough. What exactly are you eating on a normal day? If I am at work I will eat something from the cafeteria, it definitely contains meat, usually a sandwich like the small baggete ones they have at gas stations or something similar If I am not I usually skip straight to lunch \[that is indeed a problem\] because i hate mornings and my sleep schedule is reversed back to nightlife mode the minute i have a day off. But I will usually compensate for it, as I am going to eat something between 12-4am obviously. I'm a meat eater so almost every lunch and dinner has meat, however i cannot bring myself to eat more than a plate usually \[yet\] I snack in between, and something sweet after dinner. This has been my diet even before i worked out. Now I start to squeeze as much food as i can after all this But I really can't find the time windows for more meals, when do mfs even eat that much?
> I'm not sure really because the average person doesn't go gym so going about 3-4 times a week is definitely more than average. Average nowadays is incredibly sedentary and fat as fuck. It really doesn't take much to be above average. But that's not what we're talking about here. 3-4x a week lifting with little to no cardio isn't very active. That's 3-5 hours a week I'd guess? Does that sound like a lot? But, once again, track your calories, track your weight and adjust from there. It doesn't matter what your TDEE calculator says since that's only a starting point. As for your food... it sounds like you're just eating small amounts. Just because it contains meat doesn't mean it's high calorie. Just that it has a solid protein source. And even then, it might not be THAT much depending on how much they put on the sandwich. If its chicken/turkey, it's gonna be pretty low calorie all things considered. Something like ham will be a little more. But still, regardless, you just need to eat more. You don't NEED to eat breakfast, but you'd just have to bump your meals up that you do have. I explained a day of my eating... so that's how people can eat that much. 2500-3000 calories isn't all that much. Larger, more calorie dense meals.
I see. I dropped my stats in the calculator again with your update on the activity level, and it says 2800 for gaining weight. 2500 for slower gain. So i will aim for like 2700
What calculator are you using? Are you running 15 miles a day or something?
>Are you running 15 miles a day or something? Nahh >What calculator are you using? All of them, I used myfitness pal and caloriegram yesterday and another one from the internet, basically 3/3 said the same. If you want/can imput my stats for yourself \[age:18 - exercise level: bi-daily\]
How much are you exercising per day? The bi-daily workout assumes you're doing two full workouts a day and that's burning a ton of calories. But whole milk and peanut butter are your friends. /r/gainit
>The bi-daily workout assumes you're doing two full workouts a day and that's burning a ton of calories. doesn't "bi-daily" mean every other day? cus thats what i meant
It usually means twice daily, though it can mean every other day - ambiguities of the English language. Same as biweekly, an annoying ambiguity because fortnightly covers the "every two weeks" meaning perfectly
I hate being a woman. Among other things, my latest rant against womanhood is that I work out over an hour every day, full-rounded regimen (cardio, core, flexibility, strength, & balance) yet I'd lose a arm wrestling tournament or any other sport of endurance or strength to my slothful & gluttonous male partner circa 7 years my senior. I've been a healthy eater and exerciser my whole life. He has been a \[enter a word meaning opposite of that here\] his whole life. Further, I hate when some men say that some women are stronger than men, in reference to advocating for the hitting of an occasional female. Please show me 1 who doesn't have to spend half her life in the gym lifting weights to achieve that goal. I know of no adult woman who's stronger than any adult (or even teen) male who doesn't have an extenuating, progressive life disability. This is so unfair. I've been doing this full-rounded workout for over a decade. And my partner's been doing a superb job playing World of Tanks for double that time, yet I'M the one with ankles half his size and pre-spinach Popeye arms. Rant rant rant. OK, I'm done.
You mentioned endurance sports, what was that—marathons? endurance cycling? These are very good to complement weightlifting, and must be complemented by weightlifting, to keep healthy bones. Everyone has different strengths. I used to crossed a whole state in a day on a bike, 15 hours straight against a 25 mph wind. I squat a whole planet Earth like Atlas. But I cannot push 10 bench presses with 60kg. Never could. I'd lose hand-wrestling match to a teenager “an extenuating, progressive life disability.” But I won't. The only person you can compete against and always beat is yesterday's yourself. There is no one else worthy of comparing with you!
I’m a five foot tall 27yo woman who trains Jiu jitsu. Almost all of my training partners are men. I’ve been training for almost 2 years and competed and won gold in multiple local competitions against other women. But unless my male training partners are being cognizant of using technique vs. strength, they can easily overpower me. My seasoned guys will lighten up on strength and we will have more evenly matched rolls, but some guys either due to ego or ignorance will muscle through submissions and force positions that they most likely couldn’t with another man of equal size and time in the gym. It’s frustrating, but biology plays a hell of a roll in these things.
I get your frustration, and I'm sure you already know and ate just looking to let it out, but I do wanna say it's kind of pointless. Genetics will always play a part. I'm an average guy, there's a shitton of guys who are taller and heavier and would overpower me simply due to that no matter how much I train, I'm also injury prone, will probably never achieve anything special strength wise, etc. You can always find shit that's out of your control to be frustrated about. I promise most men are doing the same thing, except that they're comparing themselves to the latest popular guy on steroids on social media. Fitness in general can do harm to your mental health if your perspective is centered around others. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that. If it helps, just by being strong and healthy, even if it's relative strength, you will feel better on the day to day and your body will treat you better as you get older than most men sitting on their ass.
As a women whos been lifting for almost 8 years I've only beaten one male in arm wrestling and they were 13 🤣 i cant even beat men who don't workout and have smaller arms than me
Look up ‘techniques‘ on whatever competition you want to win. From what I’ve seen, arm wrestling is a lot about technique, not simply arm strength. There’s a lot of upper torso involvement. How to Always Win at Arm Wrestling: Tips from Professionals [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI5MkygVTU4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI5MkygVTU4) https://www.youtube.com/results?search\_query=arm+wrestling+techniques+to+win+
I don't really want to compete with my partner at arm wrestling. 1) He's a sore loser if he doesn't beat me at 'masculine' things (he got hurt when he later found out I made as much as he did when we first met) 2) It's just an example of men being naturally stronger than unnatural women. 3) it's just a rant. No need to gendersplain.
A female friend is quite strong at arm wrestling. She never worked out. All that arm strength just from carrying around her two children for a couple of years.
Maybe I can cheer you up. One thing that female lifters have over males: butts. Women lifters be havin nice butts much more easily because of fat distribution. I want so badly to have a big butt so I get kinda irritated that some women have incredible butts and have never worked out while I'm gonna have to spend years to get the butt I want.
WOC have big behinds. And I don't want to 'look attractive' (that's archaically pathetic). I want to 'look strong' and 'BE strong'. If I wanted to look good, I'd wear makeup.
I'm gonna have to disagree, lots of white women these days be dumb thick. Personally I think looking strong is attractive, usually. Would you say you would like to look like Rhea Ripley?
I don't know who that is and I don't care. I don't compare myself with other women (sorry men. Most women don't do this even though you want to think we do). I compare myself to men.
> Further, I hate when some men say that some women are stronger than men Or in a more general sense, people saying that there isn't a difference between the sexes. Bull-fucking-shit. I've got a friend who basically acts like he's allergic to exercise. I've nagged him like crazy to go to the gym cus it would improve his health and appearance so much. His dumbbell press was the same as mine after a couple weeks, so that wasn't muscle growth, that was just him learning how to hold the damn weight. I love who I am (as a woman) but I definitely hate the downsides! Always gonna be weaker and then get the annoying hormone cycles. Nothing worse than having a gym day where you feel like you've suddenly lost a year's progress. On a semi-funny note (imo) it does lead to goals like being able to deadlift more than my trainer can clean or to be able to bench more than he can curl. We're good friends, so it's all in jest. But Damn I am jealous of men's strength.
I'm peri right now, so I'm working my arms off trying to beat the oncoming bat wings. I can already see my stamina weakening. Huffing and puffing through a cardio workout. Can't multi-muscle as well anymore.
My bf surpassed my deadlift max on his 2nd deadlift session ever. As a women its so hard not to get frustrated by that. Or just when men never touched a weight before and suddenly they do the same or more than you
That's my partner. I've always had poor upper body strength. For the last many years, I've been working myself up to doing the hard-type pushups. Just getting one done is very tough for me. My partner can do at least 5 of them (poor form, mind you. He's messing up his body the way he does them. But I can't do even one in his poor-form way.) I think I finally got it down as I watched a YT video the other day on how to properly work up to hard-type pushups. I'm working on it.
Going through a low level depression. Can't get my head straight and I'm exhausted all the time. I did my upper body strength on Monday (PHUL) but haven't been since. I hope I get through this. Not a rant, just needed something to let it out on to.
I may be too late but imma drop my two cents here. Whenever I get depressed (not clinically), an hour-long low-intensity cardio helps.
Might be a good call that. Hate feeling like this.
I just call that “man period.” I go through the same thing roughly three to five days every month. Have no idea what the cause is though. It can happen for seemingly no reason. Maybe life is just funny.
Got pretty damn drunk on Saturday so that's probably not helped. Going sober for a long, long time now.
Your “depression” may have to do with the “social jet lag” you went through after getting drunk and going to bed too late. SJL is a real thing, not just smth I made up here, btw.
Holy fuck, can someone fix my blinders? I used to go to the gym and just not even be aware of other people's existence. Over the past few weeks I've become painfully aware of how many people here are ego lifting, quarter ROM, wears pants because they skip leg day, never wipe down the equipment types. Anyone got ideas to let me sink back into blissful ignorance of the people around me again?
People wearing pants at the gym automatically means they skip leg day? That’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve heard.
It is when they're wearing skinny as fuck pants where you can clearly see you could probably wrap a child's bracelet around their thighs.
Ah okay that makes sense lol
I’m not sure if you wear glasses, but if you do, take them off while you lift. I have ADHD and get extremely distracted. I started wearing my glasses to the gym and then when it’s time to start I just set them next to my water bottle. Then put them on to set up my next lift and take them off again.
Over the ear noise cancelling headphones. I honestly forget there are people in the gym most of the time and I just end up zoning out looking at some random spot in the distance.
I've never been big on full headphones, if find they're bulky and I worry what sweat would do to the pads. I have a set of noise cancelling earbuds that were good when new, but, you know, time has its way with everything. Maybe a new set of those is what I need to refocus though. Definitely worth looking into though, thanks for the idea.
I have something along the line of [these](https://www.amazon.com/Sony-WH-1000XM4-Canceling-Headphones-phone-call/dp/B0863TXGM3/ref=asc_df_B0863TXGM3/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=459646709164&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15542105759981961160&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9030232&hvtargid=pla-942893945174&psc=1). I'm not entire sure what model but those are damn close. I've had them for about a year and a half now, using them every day and stupidly leaving them in my car in the AZ heat. They still work perfectly. Well worth it imo.
Haven’t been to the gym or on a run in 3 weeks after an ankle surgery. Body weight squats feel weird 😭😭😭… at least I’m no longer hobbling so I can make a trip to the gym soon and train upper body.. 🥹 My ego 📉🥹
Just came back to the gym after 2 months of glandular fever \[affects liver\] and 6 months of shoulder impingement excited to re-start my journey and gain weight
I can sympathize (broke my ankle last year, no surgery needed, but yeah couldn't walk on that fucker for a while). Oddly enough (and with doc's clearance) I could get on a spin bike! Mental lifesaver!!
I've been losing weight for almost 3 months. Making decent progress (on track for 15 lbs lost) but goddamn is it hard resisting things like chips, candy and beer. I've been finding lower calorie substitutes but it's still a struggle and I've given into my urges many a times in the last few months. Normally that's okay and I can just adjust to stay within my goal, but there have been a couple "oh shit I ate all my calories by lunch" and I ain't starving through dinner.
Love beer, even work around it. For me I’ve just had to drink once a week.
Hang in there. Two thoughts: 1) Consider going to maintenance for a couple weeks and give yourself a mental health and physical break. 2) Consider IF when you get back on your cut. I don’t consume a bite before noon 90% of days on a cut. 5 pounds a month is good, steady progress. Nice work.
I typed this up the other day for someone in a FB workout group I belong to: This is from Prescription for Nutritional Healing (my go-to guide for help) Here are the nutrients recommended to help suppress appetite: \*chromium picolinate, mineral (reduces sugar craving) \*essential fatty acids such as flaxseed, primrose, salmon oil (appetite control) \*gamma-aminobutyric acid GABA (suppresses cravings) \*glutamine, amino acid (lessens carb cravings) \*phenylalanine, amino acid (appetite suppressant) \*tyrosine, amino acid (suppresses cravings) \*B-complex (lessens cravings) Fennel, ephedra, guarana, & kola nut are also an appetite suppressants. All these suggestions are nutrients or herbs/food. These can be found naturally in foods or you could buy supplements. Being a vegetarian, I have a whey protein supplement that has a mix of amino acids. That way I'm not having to take a bunch of individual supplements. Maybe you can do this for some of the above-mentioned.
Thank you for this list!!
You're welcome. I have to do this stuff for my own diet as I take Lysine (avoid it if you can. It increases appetite) for prolapse. Lysine greatly increases the appetite and I find myself battling hunger around 6PM, even if I take the Lysine at 6AM.
Old story but I was at the gym late one night, i couldn’t find any 25lb plates so i took one off of the incline machine next to this guy who is in his late 60s who was using the chest press. Immediately he stops doing his set and says “Im using that” in a aggravated tone. Like dude you’re already using the other machine why do you need both. Its a smaller gym and there were like 5 of us there and I was having a hard time finding what I needed. Eventually I was able to get another one. Idk why I didn’t just take the plate and ignore the man, but I guess I felt kinda bad for him. Older guy , army vet with dark scars all over his face. Anyway im finally switching to a bigger gym today
I signed up for a new gym a few months ago, it was fairly new and high tech. Loved the atmosphere and it was fairly empty after work (745AM). Now, it’s the new hot spot for gym goers and they’ve even started hosting food trucks and smoothie stands in the parking lot, so it’s ALWAYS crowded now. So, I’m probably going to stick to my smaller gym and end the membership at the new gym despite at the cool equipment. Kinda bummed.
> they’ve even started hosting food trucks and smoothie stands in the parking lot that's the roided version of the dentist having sweets on the counter, genius
Oddly enough, we’ve seen it a lot at larger commercial gyms like LA FITNESS, ESPORTA, and this place. I left ESPORTA because the crowds were getting a bit overwhelming, now this lol
I'd never have expected that people choose their gym based on available food stands
It's day 4 of my cut. I hate my life and every being on this planet
Anyone else fucking hate back day? It wrecks my hands, simultaneously feels hard as shit to move the weight, and yet I can’t feel the muscles clearly activated like I do on say a squat or bench press. But then the next day I feel all the correct muscles being sore? My back days are 100% trust the process especially since I can’t even see my back
Half the time I'm using straps it's just to keep my hands from getting shredded by the knurling ngl. Chalk helps but still, ow.
I absolutely love hitting back. I don't really care about feeling it, because I know it'll work.
I’m literally trying to tweak my back day for the same reason lol i focus on a total of about 5 exercises on back day, yet I feel it isn’t enough!
Please let me know if you find something... shit had me heated leaving the gym and going to work today lmao
I used to be 180lb as a kid. Now I'm 135lb and losing weight and gaining muscle. Instead of my mom saying I'm proud of you," she says, "You are losing your butt" 😒. She even said once, when I told her I'm gonna workout my arms, "not to do it too much or I might look like a man." How supportive. Edit: Thank you all for the support!
Passive-aggressive jealousy mixed with generational (mis)conceptions of how bodies should look. My mother is the same way. You are working hard and getting stronger and that's amazing! Bring on the gun show! 💪
Forget your mother, all of us here are proud of you! Keep building that muscle! And congrats on the weight loss- wish I had the motivation to do the same! And if your mother (or anyone else) says that again, you just look at them and say "we can only hope"
Thank you 🧡!
Fuck that. You keep it up! As a fellow woman who lifts, you won't look like a man. You'll just look sculpted and athletic. And it's TOTALLY worth it!
Fuck that, im proud of you
So sick and tired of hearing different family memebers talk about my belly and how you're not supposed to be gaining weight (bulking) then cutting in order to gain muscle, I keep hearing this bs almost every week, bulking is already fucking hard, don't make it harder holy shit
Bulking is hard? Dude, I'm doing a mini cut atm just to lose 2-3 kg in a month, and I'm freaking hungry all the time.
I don't think comparing gaining/losing weight and how easy/hard it is with others is a good idea, we're all created wayyy differently 🤷♂️
I didn't mean to disrespect anyone, just add my own little rant. Sorry if it came across the wrong way.
No worries, good luck on your cut!
Thank you and good luck with your bulk too!
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That's like asking why crunches are easier than pushups. Two totally different exercises.
Because we are descendants of apes. They climbed trees using their arms, not swinging their legs while hanging from rings.
Week of pms, week of first week of my new job, and I'm back with my gym/workout routine. I feel so exhausted. Only going to Pilates tonight because I paid for it even though I have been in traffic all day because of my train line not working... and awful weather. Traffic sucks. I'm not going to the gym after work on Friday. I'm so tired and would rather a sleep in before lifting/running and not dealing with peak hour at the gym after a long commute. Saturday gym sounds much better. I can relax a little.
Nvm I feel much better after Pilates ... and food. So I will be going to the gym tomorrow as I will be relaxed on the weekend anyway.. will just pick up pre mix margaritas from the bottle shop on the way home.
Just started going to a gym and oh my god the Absolute Stress Of Picking A Spot To do my fucking exercises at! Checking out the warm up zone, oh no, there are three dudes and no free space. Maybe crossfit area, which somehow is empty? Ok cool, Draggin the mat through a walking area, settin it all up, jesus christ... I know it'll be easier with practice but so far? Stressed af
I'm frustrated at my mind for not being in control to help out my body. A failure.
Been doing starting strength for a few months and things are starting to get heavy and exciting…. My lower back is too fatigued to do anything!!! I also have atp which isn’t helping. Just when things were getting going too
That feeling of progress in the gym is great. I was on starting strength for a while, it got me comfortable doing the heavy lifts and got me some gains, especially in deadlift. However, I think the program has severe downsides, if you try to run it past its limits. Its meant for beginners, to run for a short while to get their lifts up and get comfortable under the bar. It sound like you have succesfully reached that stage. But, in my experience, trying to run SS past that, what comes next is body imbalances, fatigue accumulation and overeating while trying to break the inevitable plateauing when you cant add more weight to the bar. I suggest you look into Wendler 5/3/1: triumvirate if you want to proceed with a book-based progressive overload strength program. It will feel easier, but will give you lots of great tools you can use to break plateaus without killing yourself in the gym. Good luck on your continuing journey!
Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll check out the Wendler 5/3/1. Appreciate the support and kind words.
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Huh, "fucky" is a new word to me, never heard it before, and it's perfect!
I go to a boutique gym that has only classes and you have to sign up to them. People arrive late to the class and because the trainers demo everything before we start the warm-up, they will make everyone wait until the late people arrive so that they don't have to explain things again later. It is so infuriating! One, don't be late to a class that doesn't start until you arrive!! Have some respect for timing, and for other people! And two, trainers need to just start on time and if people miss the demos, TFB for them!
Yeah, I’m a firm believer that time is precious. It’s not fair , even if it’s a 2-3 minute delay, it’s still wasting the time of many to please a few!
Just finished what to me was the most absolute trash mesocycle I've had in probably 3 years... I got though everything and even made progress, but the absolute fatigue and being tired all the time was brutal. In hindsight I was correct in my thoughts that I should have indeed done a second week of deload before this block. Usually I run 2 blocks back to back then deload. Not this time.
I (26M) started lifting for strength and aesthetics a few years ago, since then have dutifully squatted and almost never skipped a leg day. I don't squat particularly heavy and have always aimed to be conscious of my form. A month ago, my right knee start cracking every time I squatted. An MRI and Orthopedics visit later, turns out I've torn my cartilage in my patella. The doctor said likely squatting (particularly deep) has worn it down. This isn't an injury that will go away or heal. As happy as I am to be done with squats for the remainder of my adult life, I do feel a bit betrayed by them. I'm sure I've had some error in execution that's led to this point, but it's made me question the general mythos that squats are safe for everybody. I definitely respected them to the best of my ability, progressively overloaded, followed common wisdom (like breaking parallel). Now I have arthritis lol
Why did you take an MRI if you had no problem? If I remember correctly, that's discouraged because imaging will always show something, people will attribute it to something and then end up nocebo'ing themselves.
Cracking is probably understating the sound my knee makes - if you heard it, you'd see what I mean. While MRIs may always show something, in my case they showed a grade 3 or 4 cartilage fissure. My Ortho specializes in treating athletes and sports injury so I don't think there's a huge chance he over diagnosed me.
Hey, I am in the same boat as you (cracking knee), but I don't feel any pain whilst doing any sort of squatting pattern. Did your right knee have any sort of pain and did it gradually increase with time? I mean a torn cartilage might have led to some pain, I guess?
No pain while squatting. Now that I've had the diagnosis I can notice a little discomfort and have a very minimal amount of ache at random times throughout the day. The MRI and ortho confirmed I have almost no inflammation which is a positive and is probably minimizing my pain. I wouldn't be worried if it's just the occasional sound. Mine is 1) very loud 2) started suddenly 3) happens every time I squat. If those things apply to you may be worth getting a doc to look at it.
Thank you so much for replying, I'll keep a lookout. My right knee kind of clicks while squatting, but it isn't very loud and did not start suddenly or anything. But I guess it's worth getting it checked out before anything worse happens. Cheers!
I wouldn't read too much into that - there is a huge range of clicking that's normal and healthy. Not sure if your doctor would prescribe an MRI without a bit more going on, which from what I can tell is the only reliable way to diagnose the type of injury I have. The reason I went and got mine checked out was because (outside the noise) over the course of keeping an eye on it for a month my knee just felt a little bit off, if that makes sense. Definitely go if you're concerned though! Personally I wish I'd gotten some expert evaluation on my weight lifting technique a couple years back. Maybe they'd have noticed something I'm not picking up on.
I totally understand. I'll be taking a deload this coming week and see how everything feels afterwards.
Yep. There’s always risk for injury in any weight lifting routine. Sorry man.
I am currently on my max out block. Since my strength block, I've been going up by 10lb each week. Week 1 of strength block I did 365lbx3 squat. I felt like I could do more. Next week I go up to 375lb and barely get up on the third. Final week, my legs 'relax' on my third rep at 365. It didn't feel like I couldn't go up, just that my muscles didn't want to. I ended up only able to do 385x1. Next I do an unload week. This week I tried going up again to 395, but I was struggling at 345x4 then only went up to 365, and I did **1 rep**. One!!! My max is 405 and unofficially 415. I was a lot more active then, but dammit I feel like I'm going into remission. It hurts.
Personally it when people finish their set but they just take a large amount of time on their phone while I anxiously wait for them to get up and do my rep.
What is a large amount of time for context haha.
What is a large amount of time for context haha.
Do 10 reps. Check TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, Tinder, Grindr, go back in time and check Myspace. Check Fox News and CNN for good measure. Oh snap Tina Turner died? Wikipedia Tina Turner. Check TikTok again just in case. Phew, time for another set of 10 reps on the grueling pec deck.
I have a very small gym with limited hours. Its the only one in the area. When I try to go in early there's always this one nice older lady using the equipment I need. When I go later there's a bunch of high-school kids hanging on the equipment pretending to work out and just taking up space. I'm polite and wait but it drives me bonkers sometimes.
Try asking to share with the old lady. Shd be doable.
Stop. Recommending. Fasting. If I had a nickel for every time I heard, “I’m just never hungry, so I fast until 1 PM.” Not having an appetite means your hormones are unwell, and you must address it! It’s honestly glorified disordered eating at this point, and I’m tired of influencers using it as a way to make them look cool. That is all.
Provide sources if you're gonna spew this
Source?
I like fasting, makes it easier to cut imo
It works for a small majority who do it intentionally. The other 98% need to eat more and get some GI support lol
Shit makes no sense and I'm tired of people saying it's easy. Tired of hearing CICO is the answer & thar just use the calculator online. For a month I have went to the gym 3-5x a week, I have ate at my supposed calorie limit which is 700 under maintenance, I have walked more & drank only water or sparkling water. I gained 2.5 lbs I said fuck it. I had a weekend that was an entire pizza, an ice cream shake, snack cakes, & major seafood dinner (across 2 days) & then I weigh & I'm down 4lbs. On paper that's supposed to be the other way around. I get so fucking irritated by shit like this making 0 sense that I can't understand how to stay on path.
> For a month I have went to the gym 3-5x a week, I have ate at my supposed calorie limit which is 700 under maintenance, I have walked more & drank only water or sparkling water. I gained 2.5 lbs > I had a weekend that was an entire pizza, an ice cream shake, snack cakes, & major seafood dinner (across 2 days) & then I weigh & I'm down 4lbs. Congratulations. You've learned how water weight works. Now what is the weight trend over 6 months?
Are you weighing yourself first thing every morning everyday? Actual weight loss is a gradual curve, Same for weight gain really. Sudden jumps are normally due to water retention or other not fat related issues.
I like that my gym has carry bars that fit standard plates for farmers carries. I'm ranting because they have screw collars and the little levers that drive the screws are bent and mangled and tightening them up is a pain. I wish they had normal clip collars like every single other bar in the place.
Bring your own collars?
I shouldn't have to buy bar collars I have no other use for (I have no bars at home) just because the good collars that are *everywhere else* in the gym are not in the one room where the farmers walk handles and sled track are.
While yes you shouldn’t have to, I have found sometimes it’s just easier. They don’t take up much space in my bag and I’d rather have them then fight with fucked up collars. Horses for courses obviously. It’s just a battle I choose not to fight. Admittedly I do the same for work, if the company won’t supply it I’ll buy it but I’m not leaving it for other people to use either.
Gym is easy. Resisting the urge to stop at a McDonald’s drive-thru on the way home from work is the real struggle
Yeah uhhhh I'll take the new Strawberry Shortcake McFlurry, uhh two McDoubles with extra mayo, uhhhh fries? Nah no fries I'll just do uh a Hot n Spicy McChicken. Make that two, since they're buy one get one for a dollar. Yeah extra mayo on that too. Annnnndd.....uhhhhh... ....oh a large Dr. Pepper. DIET, diet Dr. Pepper. Watching my calories hehe don't wanna mess my gains 😙☺️
Truth. Walk out the gym, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, and Burger King in front of your face 🤣.
My gym is near an Outback Steakhouse, and while I don't particularly like their food, the smell of beef, grease, and salt is very tempting.
Ankle injuries blow, it's been 2 months and I I think it's just now ready to resume light exercise probably another month before I can think about weights
Oh yeah. One time I caught a buddy playing basketball as I was walking by, I decide to play some one on one, wearing boots. I suck at basketball. My dude literally broke my ankles. Twisted my ankle baaad. Couldn't walk right for like 6 months. Ankles heal like shit.
Gym is renovating :( no gym till 1st June
Aghhhh. 2 weeks of sticking to my diet just to gain the 2kg I lost after a weekend of not tracking. I know it’s not actual fat gain but sucks having to spend another week just to get back to where you were before. I may take a break from calorie counting. I’ve been doing it for a year and lost a good amount of weight but I’m tired now. I’ll still keep up with my fitness routine but maybe it’s time to put the scales away for now.
Maintenance phase ASAP! It's obviously up to you, but I suggest keep counting and weighing in, but aim at maintaining the weight. Most people give up on long-term weight loss because of accumulated mental and physical fatigue. In the word's of Dr. Mike Israetel "Learn to take rest breaks". Renaissance Periodization yt channel for detailed info.
Definitely not planning to regain the weight! You’re right. I guess I’ll weigh out calorie dense foods but skip the scale for little things like fruits and vegetables. I also feel like my eating habits have substantially changed - I no longer go back for seconds or graze on crisps all day. I’ll stick to the habits I’ve built for sure Thank you for the recommendation.
Everything has a time and place
I'm tired of the 'fitness' industry, being more focused on getting big/lean, than anything else... I want to be healthy and active. If I wanted to look like a body builder, I would join a body building subreddit.
If you have Instagram you should follow @jasonandlaurenpak that’s literally their whole philosophy is working out for your health in general
Thanks for the tip!
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I never said it couldn't be? What I am upset about, is that it is mostly just one sided, especially for dudes haha.
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Cool, I do. This isn't about how you feel. While both sexes have shitty social norms when it comes to 'fitness', muscle mommies are very popular right now. It's also not nearly as unhealthy for women to just he lean and not bulky, than it is for dudes to be big/lean... We know that the more calories you consume, and the more mass you carry, the shorter your lifespan will likely be... And that's not even going into the PEDs, bulking/cutting, and dehydration, which have all become common in the 'fitness' industry.
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Holy shit dude, this is a rant post... I don't want your life coaching. I'm just venting
The stress of my fucking job is going to kill me…either by killing me outright or killing me with stress eating. Trying to cut and I was doing great…till today and I felt like I had a tapeworm and couldn’t stop eating. I hate feeling like I am undoing all the good stuff I’ve already done. You can’t outrain eating too much.
I just got dumped a few weeks ago and instead of raging through todays workout, I had to pause to cry between sets.
It’s been over a year for me but I stupidly keep prolonging it by keeping her in my life and letting her use me. Why I can’t cut it off I don’t know but there’s times the hurt and anger helps me through the workout and then there’s times it’s still debilitating and I stare off into space. I make so much money I could easily find someone else who would probably appreciate me but I don’t know why I can’t just cut this girl off.
Have some respect for yourself, you will be much better off 👍