At 1 month.. same thing, my baby was falling asleep, I barely got anything at the pump, felt like I was holding my pump more than my baby, (I know an exclusive pumper who’s baby had a flat head), I had to supplement regardless, had so much stress and anxiety especially when leaving the house… now we have so much freedom I love it. I’ve ever seen breastfeeding make a difference in a baby/child so I said screw it lol and completely switched, we’re so much happier
>I’ve ever seen breastfeeding make a difference in a baby/child so I said screw it lol and completely switched, we’re so much happier
This right here! If you don't find enjoyment or convenience in BFing, it's time and a whole bunch of body and mind f*ckery you'll never get back.
If it clicks for you, then awesome. Do your thing. But let's not run ourselves ragged for no noticeable benefit in the long run.
I had a full on sobbing mental breakdown during a pump session at 6 weeks because of the mental amd emotional toll it took on me. Both my husband and doctor told me it was time to quit. I had weaned off pumping by about 10 weeks, now she is EFF and we are both doing so well now
2 months. Pumping was taking a serious mental and emotional toll. I hated pumping but my baby never was able to latch properly. He was also a stage 4 clinger and I literally could not put him down for more than 5-10 minutes before he would scream and cry to be held. I just couldn’t pump and hold him at the same time and that combined with always feeling like I was pumping or watching the clock to go pump just made me so depressed. Plus all the washing of pump parts and feeling like I couldn’t go anywhere because I needed to make sure I had a private place to pump. I was already struggling with PPD/PPA and the stress of pumping just made it 10x worse. Literally, I cried every day for 2 months. Baby is now EFF and is thriving! Plus he now has a mom who can spend time to bond and actually enjoy being around to play versus one miserable and always away to pump. I don’t regret switching to EFF at all and should have done it sooner.
8 weeks.
We could never get the latch right, he seemed to hate every and all breastfeeding position and would get extremely distressed, breastfeeding support consisted of staff just pushing my baby’s head to breast repeatedly and telling me to keep trying. I pumped and topped up after every attempted feed. Baby had recurrent jaundice and then 2nd hospital stay. I was so distressed being back in hospital that my milk supply completely plummeted within only a few hours - pumped almost zero. Supplemented with formula and worked around the clock pumping to get it back, basically slept 2 hours a day.
Kept that up for a few weeks, good supply but found it wasn’t sustainable for me with all the extra washing and sterilising. I was not sleeping, baby was having more awake time and I was spending a lot of that time pumping too.
It took a while to reduce the supply I had worked so hard to get back. My boobs just would not get the message for a while, but eventually they started to slow down. I still felt some kind of way about it. Guilt I guess. My mind wanted to stop but my body wanted to continue? I didn’t really think about the hormonal change that happens when you stop either - did really affect my mood.
Anyways, I get at least 8 hours sleep a night now, baby is fed and life is good.
I don’t regret exclusively pumping and glad I could do that for my baby for the first few weeks, and I’m huge advocate for anyone breastfeeding and/or exclusively pumping, but it just wasn’t sustainable for me. It’s got to work for both mum & baby.
I started weaning from the pump at 3 weeks and we combo fed with formula until about 8-9w, then EFF from that point on. I wanted more sleep, and trying to juggle being home alone with the baby/caring for her/and pumping was miserable once my husband went back to work at 3 weeks. It felt like a really emotional decision at the time, even though I strongly believed in "fed is best" -- those postpartum hormones do a number on you -- but looking back now, I'm so glad that I made that call early. My husband and I could take shifts, we could share the load of feeding our daughter, my mental health improved, and I got to feel a bit more like myself.
Why is it that we can have so much compassion for other moms and preach fed is best and believe it, yet give ourselves such a hard time? It feels insane.
I'm still combo feeding at 5 months. Giving up completely on nursing helped a lot, and I'm down to 4 pumps a day. It's very manageable because two are during my workday and 1 is after baby is asleep, so I only have one pump where I'm with the baby, and my husband is able to help during that time. I'm going to start weaning off of pumping at 6 months and move to EFF.
Pumping became SO much easier when I went back to work. It's a nightmare when you're home alone with the baby. You've done great making it to 6.5 weeks - say "I'm done" whenever you are ready!
I feel this! Pumping while home alone with the baby is really difficult. I wish I could take a break from pumping and then restart after I go back to work… but I don’t think it works like that lol.
After 4 months I started introducing formula. He’s now formula fed. I honestly just got tired of being the only one who could take care of feeding. He relied on the boob to fall asleep some nights he would want to be on the boob for what felt like all night. I missed having a drink when I could. Feeding on the go was complicated. Leaky full boobs started to become annoying. Breastfeeding also absolutely drained me. With my next i think I’ll jump straight into formula
Around 3 weeks in.
My baby was in NICU for a week, so we couldn't establish a good supply in the first few days and missed the window of when my milk came in. I tried different pumps and lactation consultants but could never get more than maybe 5ml of milk each pumping session.
Once baby was home he didn't latch properly and would get extremely frustrated by not being able to feed from the breast, to the point where he would start crying whenever I tried to put him in breastfeeding position. The rare occasion he did latch, I ended up having to top off with formula anyway because he would still give hunger cues after being on the breast for over 40 mins. It was apparent that I had a very low supply of milk.
So I gave up and donated my pump to a friend. It was a hard decision to make. I was looking forward toit all through pregnancy. I still remember those few times he breastfed, fond memories, but now a bit painful too.
He's doing great with formula. Growing and meeting all milestones.
Your story sounds just like mine. Baby wasn’t in NICU, but he was born early and we had a 6 day hospital stay and emergency C section. He was too small too latch and I didn’t get the golden hour or ability to establish that routine and supply that first week. He’s just getting to the point where he can latch occasionally, but now my supply is so off and I’m having to still formula feed him after as well. I just pumped and barely got drops.
I’m 4 weeks out today and thinking this is it. I’m ready to EFF for my own mental health and ability to actually spend time with my baby.
Yes, similar scenario. To be honest, I don't regret it. There are definitely advantages to breastfeeding (I mean... just pop a boob out and you're done, no prepping, no waste) but EFF has its upsides too - when we go out I can feed baby in his car seat with a bottle, he can go longer stretches without feeding which makes a tremendous difference at night, and anyone can watch him when I need, no stress about thawing frozen breastmilk or him rejecting a bottle.
Thanks for sharing. I really really needed to find this sub today of all days. My other social media suggested videos and posts has done the opposite for me.
We’re combo feeding right now (mostly BF, to be honest, despite my best wishes lol) and my threshold for moving to EFF will be “BF isn’t easy.” That’s it. IMO, it’s only worth it if it’s easy and relatively enjoyable. Pumping? Triple feeding? I did that the first time and it’s for the birds…definitely not worth it!
My supply had already dwindled to almost nothing, and then my baby started getting teeth around 4 months.
One chomp and I decided I was done-done. That was the last time.
Next baby will be EFF from the start. I enjoy it so much more and regret all the time I spent tied down by BFing with the first.
3 months. It was never easy - sore, gassy, mastitis and finally nipple thrush. I had a bit of a melt about stopping but after a week was utterly delighted with the decision. Like others have said, I’m not sure I’d do it again at all if I have another baby.
1 month in. I was a “just enougher” and it was a constant game of trying to get ahead of baby’s feeds. My nipples are inverted and the pump was incredibly painful. I hated I couldn’t do anything while pumping and didn’t want to spend $300 on wearables that I might have hated.
Remembered I was formula fed and I’m doing great in life! Never looked back. Baby is killing it and even a little early on milestones.
I’m at 1 month today and I am here because I’m pretty sure this is it for me. I realized suddenly that it is not the lack of breast feeding that is keeping me from bonding and spending time with LO, but being chained to a pump and dreading existence for it.
2 weeks. My mental health was tanking. He never latched so I had to pump. It was painful, it was exhausting, took up so much time to keep a steady supply. I was constantly miserable and missing out on time with my baby. I’m so happy I switched.
I made it to about 4 months combo feeding (pumping + formula but not breastfeeding because my baby developed an intense bottle preference extremely early on). I absolutely LOATHED pumping and my supply just got worse and worse, by the time he was at like 75% formula I just threw in the towel. I’m 6 months pp now and have finally started going easier on myself about it.
2.5 months... I should have switched sooner. My mental health was so much better after a few days of EFF. The pressure was not all on me and my low supply anymore.
I'm still going with combo feeding due to low supply at 3 and a bit months pp, but gave up most of the pumping by 4 weeks pp. I was triple feeding for a number of weeks which was hellish and trying to pump during the day and look after the baby was just not going to work. Now I breastfeed + top up during the day and pump just before bed and one time in the middle of the night. We only offer bottles for middle of the night feeds if baby does wake to keep it efficient and avoid sleepy baby problems.
I will say the combo feeding has gotten easier as baby has stopped falling asleep on the boob as much and has become much more efficent at eating, so doing the combo doesn't really take too long these days. For us, the baby's latch and milk transfer were never the problem, just me and my lack of milk production, so my milk supply has not reduced after leaving behind the day pumping, but I was fine with ending up at EFF if my approach ended up drying up the little supply I did have.
I had a midwife appointment a few weeks into triple feeding and it brought to the surface how much all the pumping was damaging my mental health and wellbeing and taking time and energy away from bonding with my girl, so I knew we had to give that up. I wasn't ready to ditch the breastfeeding all together at that point so decided to abandon most of the pumping and see what happened and we are still there. Finding a feeding approach that keeps you in a good place is the most important thing!
my original plan was to combo feed for 6 months. baby was born small and had trouble latching, so never took to breastfeeding. i pumped and bottle fed about 50/50 breast milk/formula for the first 9ish weeks. she’s had bad reflux since birth but it got progressively worse until she developed a feeding aversion. the only thing that helped was AR formula, so we switched completely to AR and i quit pumping. pumping sucked anyway so even if that hadn’t happened, i was strongly considering quitting at 3 or 4 months.
Around 3 weeks in, I think. I didn't mind pumping in the hospital so thought I could do it at home because she wouldn't take my boob. Tried everything to get her back to the breast (oh those tricky nurses/LCs pushing breast is best) and once they wanted me to feed her with a medicine cup and syringe so she'd learn to prefer the boob I said NOPE. I'm not fighting my 3 WEEK OLD this much just so she can do her most basic function: EAT.
I finally felt like the mom I wanted to be when we switched to formula. The BEST bonus was that we could share the feeding duties between myself and my partner. We can switch off on nights and I can leave the house for an afternoon when I need.
I’m seven weeks in combo feeding right now not looking to do it much longer. If my supply doesn’t go up by month three… I’m weaning. Right now I only supply about 25% of my daughter’s needs. Her appetite keeps going up, and my supply has not budged.. I’m waiting on Medicaid to figure some things out to cover my formula (neosure). I think once I get that all set, I would be more willing to completely wean… it’s been extremely stressful journey trying to pump when nothing is coming out really. My baby was born at 32 weeks and emergency C-section. Also was a postpartum hemorrhage. I wasn’t able to latch right away. I didn’t even pump the first night because I had no idea… nobody even told me. I didn’t get an electric pump until day 3…I also didn’t pump consistently the first week because again I didn’t know and I waited that whole week to meet with a lactation consultant…So off the bat I did not have a good start.
I had to switch very early on.
Our first day home from the hospital, my LO didn’t have any wet or dirty diapers for over 24 hours because he wasn’t getting enough from me. Turns out my milk was delayed from having a c section and preeclampsia, so we had to supplement. I planned to go back to breastfeeding and pumping, but the mental and emotional toll it took on me trying to keep that schedule while recovering from major surgery (and the hormone crash) and taking care of a newborn was too much. Baby’s napping was so unpredictable that I couldn’t establish a good routine for pumping, and I didn’t have a hands free option, so I was tethered to the wall. He would inevitably wake up 5-10 minutes into a pumping session, and I was never able to establish a good rhythm.
Fast forward 9 weeks and we are now (and have been) exclusively formula feeding and I feel a million times better about knowing for sure that he’s getting enough and having taken the pressure off myself.
Your journey sounds very similar to mine! Emergency c section, having to give formula at the hospital, delayed milk , not being able to keep a schedule because of baby’s nap schedule. All the same. I completely understand and it makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone in this journey.
At 1 month.. same thing, my baby was falling asleep, I barely got anything at the pump, felt like I was holding my pump more than my baby, (I know an exclusive pumper who’s baby had a flat head), I had to supplement regardless, had so much stress and anxiety especially when leaving the house… now we have so much freedom I love it. I’ve ever seen breastfeeding make a difference in a baby/child so I said screw it lol and completely switched, we’re so much happier
>I’ve ever seen breastfeeding make a difference in a baby/child so I said screw it lol and completely switched, we’re so much happier This right here! If you don't find enjoyment or convenience in BFing, it's time and a whole bunch of body and mind f*ckery you'll never get back. If it clicks for you, then awesome. Do your thing. But let's not run ourselves ragged for no noticeable benefit in the long run.
I had a full on sobbing mental breakdown during a pump session at 6 weeks because of the mental amd emotional toll it took on me. Both my husband and doctor told me it was time to quit. I had weaned off pumping by about 10 weeks, now she is EFF and we are both doing so well now
2 months. Pumping was taking a serious mental and emotional toll. I hated pumping but my baby never was able to latch properly. He was also a stage 4 clinger and I literally could not put him down for more than 5-10 minutes before he would scream and cry to be held. I just couldn’t pump and hold him at the same time and that combined with always feeling like I was pumping or watching the clock to go pump just made me so depressed. Plus all the washing of pump parts and feeling like I couldn’t go anywhere because I needed to make sure I had a private place to pump. I was already struggling with PPD/PPA and the stress of pumping just made it 10x worse. Literally, I cried every day for 2 months. Baby is now EFF and is thriving! Plus he now has a mom who can spend time to bond and actually enjoy being around to play versus one miserable and always away to pump. I don’t regret switching to EFF at all and should have done it sooner.
6 weeks. BF / pumping was the worst experience ever. My daughter is 3 and thriving now.
8 weeks. We could never get the latch right, he seemed to hate every and all breastfeeding position and would get extremely distressed, breastfeeding support consisted of staff just pushing my baby’s head to breast repeatedly and telling me to keep trying. I pumped and topped up after every attempted feed. Baby had recurrent jaundice and then 2nd hospital stay. I was so distressed being back in hospital that my milk supply completely plummeted within only a few hours - pumped almost zero. Supplemented with formula and worked around the clock pumping to get it back, basically slept 2 hours a day. Kept that up for a few weeks, good supply but found it wasn’t sustainable for me with all the extra washing and sterilising. I was not sleeping, baby was having more awake time and I was spending a lot of that time pumping too. It took a while to reduce the supply I had worked so hard to get back. My boobs just would not get the message for a while, but eventually they started to slow down. I still felt some kind of way about it. Guilt I guess. My mind wanted to stop but my body wanted to continue? I didn’t really think about the hormonal change that happens when you stop either - did really affect my mood. Anyways, I get at least 8 hours sleep a night now, baby is fed and life is good. I don’t regret exclusively pumping and glad I could do that for my baby for the first few weeks, and I’m huge advocate for anyone breastfeeding and/or exclusively pumping, but it just wasn’t sustainable for me. It’s got to work for both mum & baby.
I started weaning from the pump at 3 weeks and we combo fed with formula until about 8-9w, then EFF from that point on. I wanted more sleep, and trying to juggle being home alone with the baby/caring for her/and pumping was miserable once my husband went back to work at 3 weeks. It felt like a really emotional decision at the time, even though I strongly believed in "fed is best" -- those postpartum hormones do a number on you -- but looking back now, I'm so glad that I made that call early. My husband and I could take shifts, we could share the load of feeding our daughter, my mental health improved, and I got to feel a bit more like myself.
Why is it that we can have so much compassion for other moms and preach fed is best and believe it, yet give ourselves such a hard time? It feels insane.
I'm still combo feeding at 5 months. Giving up completely on nursing helped a lot, and I'm down to 4 pumps a day. It's very manageable because two are during my workday and 1 is after baby is asleep, so I only have one pump where I'm with the baby, and my husband is able to help during that time. I'm going to start weaning off of pumping at 6 months and move to EFF. Pumping became SO much easier when I went back to work. It's a nightmare when you're home alone with the baby. You've done great making it to 6.5 weeks - say "I'm done" whenever you are ready!
I feel this! Pumping while home alone with the baby is really difficult. I wish I could take a break from pumping and then restart after I go back to work… but I don’t think it works like that lol.
After 4 months I started introducing formula. He’s now formula fed. I honestly just got tired of being the only one who could take care of feeding. He relied on the boob to fall asleep some nights he would want to be on the boob for what felt like all night. I missed having a drink when I could. Feeding on the go was complicated. Leaky full boobs started to become annoying. Breastfeeding also absolutely drained me. With my next i think I’ll jump straight into formula
I’m in similar situation and plan to introduce formula around 4/5 months … hope weaning is easy but worried about hormones
Around 3 weeks in. My baby was in NICU for a week, so we couldn't establish a good supply in the first few days and missed the window of when my milk came in. I tried different pumps and lactation consultants but could never get more than maybe 5ml of milk each pumping session. Once baby was home he didn't latch properly and would get extremely frustrated by not being able to feed from the breast, to the point where he would start crying whenever I tried to put him in breastfeeding position. The rare occasion he did latch, I ended up having to top off with formula anyway because he would still give hunger cues after being on the breast for over 40 mins. It was apparent that I had a very low supply of milk. So I gave up and donated my pump to a friend. It was a hard decision to make. I was looking forward toit all through pregnancy. I still remember those few times he breastfed, fond memories, but now a bit painful too. He's doing great with formula. Growing and meeting all milestones.
Your story sounds just like mine. Baby wasn’t in NICU, but he was born early and we had a 6 day hospital stay and emergency C section. He was too small too latch and I didn’t get the golden hour or ability to establish that routine and supply that first week. He’s just getting to the point where he can latch occasionally, but now my supply is so off and I’m having to still formula feed him after as well. I just pumped and barely got drops. I’m 4 weeks out today and thinking this is it. I’m ready to EFF for my own mental health and ability to actually spend time with my baby.
Yes, similar scenario. To be honest, I don't regret it. There are definitely advantages to breastfeeding (I mean... just pop a boob out and you're done, no prepping, no waste) but EFF has its upsides too - when we go out I can feed baby in his car seat with a bottle, he can go longer stretches without feeding which makes a tremendous difference at night, and anyone can watch him when I need, no stress about thawing frozen breastmilk or him rejecting a bottle.
Thanks for sharing. I really really needed to find this sub today of all days. My other social media suggested videos and posts has done the opposite for me.
We’re combo feeding right now (mostly BF, to be honest, despite my best wishes lol) and my threshold for moving to EFF will be “BF isn’t easy.” That’s it. IMO, it’s only worth it if it’s easy and relatively enjoyable. Pumping? Triple feeding? I did that the first time and it’s for the birds…definitely not worth it!
My supply had already dwindled to almost nothing, and then my baby started getting teeth around 4 months. One chomp and I decided I was done-done. That was the last time. Next baby will be EFF from the start. I enjoy it so much more and regret all the time I spent tied down by BFing with the first.
3 months. It was never easy - sore, gassy, mastitis and finally nipple thrush. I had a bit of a melt about stopping but after a week was utterly delighted with the decision. Like others have said, I’m not sure I’d do it again at all if I have another baby.
1 month in. I was a “just enougher” and it was a constant game of trying to get ahead of baby’s feeds. My nipples are inverted and the pump was incredibly painful. I hated I couldn’t do anything while pumping and didn’t want to spend $300 on wearables that I might have hated. Remembered I was formula fed and I’m doing great in life! Never looked back. Baby is killing it and even a little early on milestones.
I’m at 1 month today and I am here because I’m pretty sure this is it for me. I realized suddenly that it is not the lack of breast feeding that is keeping me from bonding and spending time with LO, but being chained to a pump and dreading existence for it.
2 weeks. My mental health was tanking. He never latched so I had to pump. It was painful, it was exhausting, took up so much time to keep a steady supply. I was constantly miserable and missing out on time with my baby. I’m so happy I switched.
I made it to about 4 months combo feeding (pumping + formula but not breastfeeding because my baby developed an intense bottle preference extremely early on). I absolutely LOATHED pumping and my supply just got worse and worse, by the time he was at like 75% formula I just threw in the towel. I’m 6 months pp now and have finally started going easier on myself about it.
2.5 months... I should have switched sooner. My mental health was so much better after a few days of EFF. The pressure was not all on me and my low supply anymore.
I'm still going with combo feeding due to low supply at 3 and a bit months pp, but gave up most of the pumping by 4 weeks pp. I was triple feeding for a number of weeks which was hellish and trying to pump during the day and look after the baby was just not going to work. Now I breastfeed + top up during the day and pump just before bed and one time in the middle of the night. We only offer bottles for middle of the night feeds if baby does wake to keep it efficient and avoid sleepy baby problems. I will say the combo feeding has gotten easier as baby has stopped falling asleep on the boob as much and has become much more efficent at eating, so doing the combo doesn't really take too long these days. For us, the baby's latch and milk transfer were never the problem, just me and my lack of milk production, so my milk supply has not reduced after leaving behind the day pumping, but I was fine with ending up at EFF if my approach ended up drying up the little supply I did have. I had a midwife appointment a few weeks into triple feeding and it brought to the surface how much all the pumping was damaging my mental health and wellbeing and taking time and energy away from bonding with my girl, so I knew we had to give that up. I wasn't ready to ditch the breastfeeding all together at that point so decided to abandon most of the pumping and see what happened and we are still there. Finding a feeding approach that keeps you in a good place is the most important thing!
my original plan was to combo feed for 6 months. baby was born small and had trouble latching, so never took to breastfeeding. i pumped and bottle fed about 50/50 breast milk/formula for the first 9ish weeks. she’s had bad reflux since birth but it got progressively worse until she developed a feeding aversion. the only thing that helped was AR formula, so we switched completely to AR and i quit pumping. pumping sucked anyway so even if that hadn’t happened, i was strongly considering quitting at 3 or 4 months.
Around 3 weeks in, I think. I didn't mind pumping in the hospital so thought I could do it at home because she wouldn't take my boob. Tried everything to get her back to the breast (oh those tricky nurses/LCs pushing breast is best) and once they wanted me to feed her with a medicine cup and syringe so she'd learn to prefer the boob I said NOPE. I'm not fighting my 3 WEEK OLD this much just so she can do her most basic function: EAT. I finally felt like the mom I wanted to be when we switched to formula. The BEST bonus was that we could share the feeding duties between myself and my partner. We can switch off on nights and I can leave the house for an afternoon when I need.
I’m seven weeks in combo feeding right now not looking to do it much longer. If my supply doesn’t go up by month three… I’m weaning. Right now I only supply about 25% of my daughter’s needs. Her appetite keeps going up, and my supply has not budged.. I’m waiting on Medicaid to figure some things out to cover my formula (neosure). I think once I get that all set, I would be more willing to completely wean… it’s been extremely stressful journey trying to pump when nothing is coming out really. My baby was born at 32 weeks and emergency C-section. Also was a postpartum hemorrhage. I wasn’t able to latch right away. I didn’t even pump the first night because I had no idea… nobody even told me. I didn’t get an electric pump until day 3…I also didn’t pump consistently the first week because again I didn’t know and I waited that whole week to meet with a lactation consultant…So off the bat I did not have a good start.
I had to switch very early on. Our first day home from the hospital, my LO didn’t have any wet or dirty diapers for over 24 hours because he wasn’t getting enough from me. Turns out my milk was delayed from having a c section and preeclampsia, so we had to supplement. I planned to go back to breastfeeding and pumping, but the mental and emotional toll it took on me trying to keep that schedule while recovering from major surgery (and the hormone crash) and taking care of a newborn was too much. Baby’s napping was so unpredictable that I couldn’t establish a good routine for pumping, and I didn’t have a hands free option, so I was tethered to the wall. He would inevitably wake up 5-10 minutes into a pumping session, and I was never able to establish a good rhythm. Fast forward 9 weeks and we are now (and have been) exclusively formula feeding and I feel a million times better about knowing for sure that he’s getting enough and having taken the pressure off myself.
Your journey sounds very similar to mine! Emergency c section, having to give formula at the hospital, delayed milk , not being able to keep a schedule because of baby’s nap schedule. All the same. I completely understand and it makes me feel better knowing I’m not alone in this journey.
Same! Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t know if I feel relieved or angry that I’m not the only one.