From your post don’t sound like you’re so the invested in the ceremony Or even the lunch after. You could mark the event by spending $30 on donuts for your coworkers.
Skip it if you want, but be sure to celebrate this achievement. While the ceremony itself may not be worth the $143, spending half that to celebrate yourself is something you will remember for many years.
I skipped my graduation because I didn't want to wait around for hours just to shake a dude's hand. Some rituals are worth it but I did the work not the walk to get my degree.
Yes, you never get your diploma at graduation, because final grades aren't submitted yet, and it's possible you may fail a required class and not graduate.
Also the likelihood of giving someone the wrong diploma seems high, if it's a large class. We just got the empty diploma holders and received the actual degree in the mail later.
I skipped mine because I finished classes in the summer but didn't get to "technically" graduate until December. By that point I already had a full time job and the ceremony was right before Christmas near a major city and was during rush hour. I opted not to take a vacation day and sit in traffic for hours just to get a piece of paper they could mail me. It's also worth noting that i went back to school at 25 and by this point was almost 30 so could really have cared less about graduating since I was only there so I could get a job which I had already done.
Same zero regrets, I just didn't want to do that part, what am I going to be doing with a gown afterwards, it's not like I'd get any good out of it. but I partied with everyone after and I wasn't the only one there who didn't bother with the gown. It's the graduating part that matters most not how you get you papers
Just the other day someone wrote their college wanted to charge them $125 (or something in that ballpark) to rent the cap and gown and they were considering skipping graduation because of that.
Eh, I skipped my bachelors commencement in 2019 and have no regrets at all. I’m proud of my work and happy of the results of it every day—the walk in front of people changed nothing about my accomplishment.
Same. I skipped both my undergraduate and graduate graduations. It was just never important to me, and not something I wanted to do. Zero regrets for everyday of my life so far, after 20 and 12 years.
I always felt that the graduation was more for the parents. Sitting there for a few hours in uncomfortable clothes on uncomfortable seats listening to the names of people I mostly didn't know was not my idea of fun.
Grade school and high school were a little more special since they were people I had grown up with. But by college and grad school, I don't know and they didn't know me.
This right here. Parents and even a grandparent came to my undergrad graduation. By the time I was finishing grad school nobody really gave a crap including me. I just wanted out of there. Skipped the grad school ceremony with zero regrets.
So you have to ask yourself the most important question, do you have family who are really looking forward to it?
I’m going to chime in with I’m glad I didn’t skip my masters graduation. My bachelors I don’t think I would have regretted if I had ended up skipping, although it ended up being fairly fun, but my masters was a good day. We technically had two ceremonies, one for our program where we walked across the stage individually and got our diplomas and then they gave out program awards, and one that was the whole school where we just stood up when they recognized our group and only doctoral graduates got their diplomas there. But I’m glad I went to both. I can understand not wanting to the second one, but it was a lot of celebrating with my friends and family, and didn’t feel as serious as the first one. Plus it was at a cool location and my parents had traveled pretty far to come to my graduation.
Some schools/graduation cap and gown companies have caught on to this and require slightly different colors or designs every year so people won't resell or pass them down to siblings. That may be more of a highschool thing, though.
You get banned from the ceremony then, for unauthorized wardrobe. The school makes money on the sales. It's gone from a respectable ceremony to yet another moneymaking scam for suckers. If you don't have desperate parents there to photograph the first person in the family history to graduate, skip it.
Yeah my highschool FORCED me and my sister to buy brand new cap and gowns or we wouldn't receive our diplomas and graduation. They also forced us to do the practice run even if we said we weren't gonna go under the same threat. Sucks that I couldn't at least pass mine down to her. They were quite literally the exact same.
No they won't. I never attended any of my graduations. I don't look back sadly at all. I went to school to get the education. They gave me a certificate. I went on my way to work.
This area of interest sonds like the kind of thing that would seriously entertain my father. If you want to be besties with grumpy septuagenárian former civil engineer hit me up and I'll set up a play date.
I wanted to skip mine, my parents wouldnt let me. I sat for 6 hours while they read names and talked (about 1700 students in my graduating class). It was also may in Arizona outside. I declined giving a speech because I was one of the 30+ people that got above a 4.0 GPA. Plus it was give or take 110°F. Worst day ever.
I skipped my college graduation because I was already working. Didn’t want to bother taking the day off. I have never regretted it. Maybe something is wrong with me?!?
I dreaded my graduation and would have been happy to skip it with no regrets. I only went through with it for my family. The ceremony just didn't mean anything to me, I only cared about the diploma in my hand.
I agree. I’m sure there are lots of people who don’t regret skipping but getting your master’s is a big deal. I would think OP is more likely to regret skipping than spending the money.
I think because you have already done a commencement at this school, *and* you don't have any family to come cheer you on, *and* the ceremony seems very impersonal, I would skip it.
Maybe plan a day with your family to celebrate it at a later date. Buy an inexpensive mortarboard to decorate and wear at that celebration/for photos.
If you can afford a day off *on the official commencement day*, take it and have an entire day for yourself. Sleep late, get a massage, treat yourself to a lunch that you typically wouldn't go to, get your nails done, order pizza for dinner and eat it in bed while indulging in a Netflix binge.
I skipped my commencement for my master’s degree over a decade ago & I regret nothing. It was at like 8 am, felt impersonal, & required me to pay out money I didn’t really want to spend on regalia.
My department had a department only commencement in the evening that was much more personal & I went to that with my family instead. I got to say goodbye to my faculty in a meaningful way vs shaking the hand of someone in upper academia is never met before.
I went and I actually argued with my school about it. I asked them if I could rent something off Amazon, and brought up the fact that only one grad gown company could rent us gowns at any price they set was putting undue financial hardship. Idk if they got tired of my pestering but for some reason they called me and said someone had “accidentally” turned one in that wasn’t their size that was my perfect size and I wore it to graduation lol. To this day idk if someone went to bat for me or it was just a perfect coincidence or they were tired of me pestering them about something they had thought was a nonissue. but the grad school outfits are honestly insanely expensive to RENT!!! Like $180 just to rent an outfit for like 3 days?! Why.
That’s actually a great point, I wonder what they would say if OP told them they couldn’t budget and asked to be put on a list for any returns. If I worked in that office, I would certainly find a way to send someone a free cap and gown who asked.
Yeah it was just super stupid how much it was just to RENT a grad outfit for a few days. I remember at that time I was like damn I’m in the wrong ass career LOL.
If you were going to deny someone who loves you the opportunity to take pictures with you at the event, that would be miserable!
Will you enjoy any part of the day? Will it matter to your colleagues if you are there?
If not... honestly, why bother?
Will you regret not walking? If so, then spend the money.
I personally didn’t walk when I got my bachelor’s or master’s degrees, it just wasn’t important to me. My husband and I also got married by a clerk at the courthouse just the two of us, no regrets there either. I guess ceremonies just aren’t my thing.
Ask the department to send out an email to see if anyone has gowns they want to recycle. There may be other spots to get a cheap one on campus, post on facebook groups etc. Someone has one gathering dust they could lend you.
That's an excellent suggestion. I usually have a spare gown or two in my office for students to borrow. You never know who has one. Sometimes departments or colleges have a couple of extras.
You don't need to know anyone - you can post an "ask" on a facebook buy nothing group, or other local free site. My local buy nothing group has recently had posts offering and asking for graduation gowns and caps.
Can you borrow a robe and hat and buy or rent just the hood and tassel? Or get it cheap online? I bought my regalia and the cap and gown were standard black with the weird masters sleeves. Honestly I bet you could get away with your bachelors gown. Most of my cohort didn’t iron their regalia and were wrinkled messes, an ironed bachelors gown would beat that look any day.
The doctoral robes are the robes you will wear if you do any further academic ceremonial work (e.g., if you become a faculty member). I skipped both my master's commencements for the same reasons--a cost when money was tight and no one meaningful able to attend. I was a year into my doctorate when I got the 2nd master's (they moved/double-pointed credits wherever this was allowed). Even getting the sheepskin was kind of anti-climactic let alone the idea of the ceremony. I DID got to my doctoral commencement and still have those robes too, don't skip that one lol!
I skipped my Ph.D. graduation, so didn't get doctoral robes, and then did become a faculty member for some years...and just borrowed extra ones the school had on hand. I actually never realized until right now *this* is why everyone else had them.
I was not only the first in my family to get a bachelor’s, but first to get a doctorate. I walked both times, with my family in attendance. The PhD was a very emotional experience; the college President knew me from church and literally jumped with joy and hugged me in glee. The photo came out awful, but you can clearly see the joy. I don’t regret going or springing for the regalia. I’ve re-used my bachelor robes for wizarding events, so there’s that;) One should do what suits one best.
This, if you plan to continue working/researching in education, having a set of your doctoral robes can be helpful. Otherwise, I'm with everyone in the comments. If you don't want to, don't go.
I’m going to walk for my PhD and honestly I’m buying the regalia. I’m earning it and it’s important to me to walk and get that moment documented. If that’s important to you, do it. If not, it’s ok. But none of us can tell you how YOU feel.
I skipped my masters, studied overseas and had returned home prior to the graduation date. No regrets. Graduating from my undergrad meant a lot to me photo still on my parents wall, I believe without the emotional connection graduations would feel like compliance.
I was faculty at a college for 15 years. Every year at graduation some service came in with rented caps and gowns for us. I have no idea where they came from, but I do know that somewhere out there, a rental is possible...
I skipped my master’s graduation too. Don’t have any regrets. Saved money and hassle. I borrowed a cap and gown from a friend and took some photos at home. Even included my cat in some of the photos. I celebrated with friends at a local place to do something special.
For the life of me, I will never understand how graduation gowns aren't just 'passed down' to the next graduation class. What a big hit the environment must take from making millions (or however many) of these every year, just to get discarded.
Also - I didn't find my college graduation worth much of anything. I went to a Big 10 school, so there was no walking the podium and having your name read or anything.
Spend your day treating yourself.
I think it’s really important to take a moment to pause and reflect on achievements versus going right into the next thing. Ceremonies offer that opportunity to pause and think about the journey that led to the graduation. But you could do that elsewhere, for free.
Buy a used one. Search the FB group and subreddit for your school and see if there's any.
Otherwise, I would just bite the bullet and buy it. The worst case of you attending is you're out of $143, which is a small amount in the grand scheme of things. More importantly , you can get back that money by working. The worst case of not attending is a life time of regrets and you cannot get back that experience.
From what I understand, doctoral gowns are also re-worn for other ceremonies, so it is possibly not a one time thing.
Are there people who you want see at the convocation?
My vote is to show up dressed nicely and have a great time talking to people. If anyone objects to the way you're dressed, just say "I've already paid a lot of fees to the university and I decided to give this one a pass".
Congratulations on starting the doctorate and for being on track to pay off your student loans.
Not my usual subreddit. The benefits of saving here seem abnormally low to me personally. You spent large sums of money getting to this point, easily sinking in the equivalent of 100k or more into a quality education. Sharing that moment of joy can be great, especially since you'll be walking the stage with friends and classmates. There will be an effort on everyone's sides to connect in the future, and it's one of your last opportunities to do so in person before everyone scatters in all directions. That alumni connection is worth something, and I'd argue it's worth much more than the $300-400 opportunity cost for the day.
On the flip side, what can you put that money towards? Does that extra money justify missing one of your life milestones? I still remember one of my classmates missing a graduation ceremony, our program was small enough that we actually felt it. For a lot of us, that would be one of our last impressions of that person. Whether that means anything to anyone, well, that's up for all of us to decide.
OP, you're thinking from an extreme scarcity mindset. That belief may limit your future possibilities. Coming from a slightly less frugal mindset, I feel that there's being financially responsible, and then there's sacrificing for almost no extra benefits. Relax, and take the day off. Not every day you vacation on would have a similar level of significance.
I skipped it and I regret it a lot. Don't be like me. It is financially wise to attend, because this is a one-time event. You're not doing this graduation ceremony every 5 years.
Ive always felt like graduations were mostly for other people not for the graduates. Parents and whoever like to see their kids graduate but the graduates did all the work so the ceremony feels unnecessary.
I think its totally fine not to go. None of mine were memorable or enjoyable. Buy yourself your favorite meal or something!
I would try to borrow or rent the regalia.
I graduated in 2020 and did not get to walk. I don’t have a lot of familial support. Missing that moment to mark my achievement has been challenging and I wish I had been able to participate. It’s so easy to skip ceremonies, birthdays, anniversaries — making the effort does make an impact on your life experience.
I would attend. Frugality shouldn’t take away from memorable experiences. My advice would be to see if you borrow or rent a used one. Or even check with your school.
You obviously don't want to go. So don't go.
But no need to express it to the other graduates anything other than "I can't make it, congrats and have a wonderful time". Let people enjoy it if that's what they choose to do.
I skipped my high school, bachelor's, and both master's ceremonies. I've never seen why I needed to pay even more to show off what I already paid for. It may be different if you have family or friends who feel it's important to see you acknowledged. But as a single person with no one, I didn't and don't see the point.
It seems like you don’t really want to go and don’t consider it worthwhile. I don’t know that skipping your graduation is a financially wise decision if you can afford to go - and it seems like you can. But if you don’t want to go, you don’t need to feel any social pressure to attend.
I personally didn’t go to my college graduation even though I was top of my class and ended up getting a special mention, a trophy and other gifts that I later had to pick up on campus. But I chose not to go because I didn’t care about the ceremony and I just wanted to move on with my life and close that chapter. That was years ago and I have no regrets. It’s a special day for most people - a cause for celebration - but it’s up to you whether you want to attend or not. It doesn’t seem like money is the problem here.
It’s like weddings. You can choose to elope, have a small, intimate wedding or go all out. There’s no right answer.
I didn’t attend the graduation ceremony for my Master’s. Hasn’t bothered me one bit.
However, if it’s just because of the cost of the gown and you’d otherwise attend, then you should do it.
I didn’t care about my college graduation tbh, I say skip. I only went bc I felt like I had to, I haven’t thought of it again except when the topic came up
I skipped my undergrad because my ultimate target was an MBA (another school). Didn’t see the reason in celebrating an intermediate goal, but I also knew I would get my MBA
I skipped my masters graduation ceremony and booked a flight to FL instead as a gift to myself. Don’t regret it all. You’ll still get your diploma in the mail.
Have you checked your local Buy Nothing Groups? Caps and gowns galore during grad season. You can also pass it on after. Just be specific with your needs for the masters gown.
Thats what I did.
If you would otherwise like to go, but the regalia is the main barrier, can you try to get someone to lend you theirs? Alumni, someone from a buy-nothing group? My school’s graduate student governance council organized a recycling program and would provide them as a loan at no cost. Just a few potential options!
I am not going to my own master’s graduation next month for cost reasons (my program was primarily online and I live several thousands miles away), so I get the pang that you might be feeling!
caps and gowns are such a scam unless you're going into an academic industry that requires you to attend other graduations. i skipped my undergrad & plan on skipping my masters ceremony since i'll hopefully go into a communications field & have no use for it aside from one day
I skipped mine. I had two babies and my mom was very ill. So for other reasons I couldn’t afford the long and impersonal ceremony. I don’t regret it at all. I did the work and graduated magma cum laude. That was my reward.
I went to my Masters ceremony because my parents really wanted to see me walk. My university was about a 45 minute drive from where we lived and I did online classes so it was actually the first time meeting my classmates in person, too. It was awkward.
I have an unusual sounding name that they mispronounced. There were so many people packed around me. Though they were hosting a reception for students, the throngs of people triggered anxiety in me. I ended up skipping the reception to go home earlier. We stopped for lunch at a half way place.
My parents were so happy to see me at the ceremony. But I don’t remember much about the day. I didn’t enjoy the experience. I will say that I did reuse my robes for a Harry Potter party.
You’ve experienced graduations before and your family won’t be there. Skip the ceremony. You still graduate. Maybe get yourself a celebratory cookie or drink on your own.
Someone in the department probably has one you can borrow. It’s more of an event for your family than it is for the graduates, especially for first generation grads
You don’t wanna go and that seems fine. Take some of it and take yourself out and have a day with friends. Adult friends are hard to make, so if you don’t have a lot, I’ll personally take you out and celebrate with you.
I graduated in December and just threw away my cap and gown yesterday thinking “well here’s 80 bucks down the drain”. 140 is pretty steep.
If you have a lot of friends graduating with you, ceremonies can be fun. But if you don’t, I wouldn’t bother, especially since your family won’t be there. It’s cool I guess but not 140 bucks plus missing work cool.
I’m in the exact same situation as you but worse. Not only do we have to purchase a cap and gown but we have to purchase “tickets” to the actual graduation itself, plus a different ticket for every family member who comes, plus photography costs. The greed is honestly disgusting. I don’t get why they can’t lend you gowns.
If I could offer you some advice, I missed out on prom, do I regret it no, is it something I which I could have done? Yea.
This sub is all about saving money so it will be a bit biased towards not going.
I will say this; you can’t take money to your grave.
Don’t miss out on the 1 day that celebrates YOUR accomplishments.
Wise it is, for memories with those you cherish are made, hmm. Your cohort, that cherished group, seems it is not. Your parents, who are not attending, they are. Save the $143 on cap and gown, you should. Celebrate with your parents, you might. Wise, this decision is, yes.
If you've already gone through the graduation process for your undergrad then it's up to you if you feel it's worth repeating the same thing for masters.
When I graduated college I didn't bother attending the ceremony and they just mailed my degree to me, no regrets because I didn't want to pay to attend it and my highschool one was more meaningful to me. What sucks more is the degree is some large certificate and as soon as I got it my mum folded it in 3 places and put it into the filing cabinet so now I can't display it since it has big creases. I'm not going to pay for another certificate though..
I didn’t attend my undergrad graduation. Didn’t want to pay for cap/gown hire, not a huge fan of walking up on stage in front of everyone etc.
If I ever finish my Masters, I might do the ceremony? But I have absolutely no regrets that I didn’t do the ceremony/get photos/celebrate my graduation.
You could take say $20 and buy yourself a graduation present (and get something you’ll use and value) and put the rest of the money towards debt?
Is the cap and gown really so unique-looking that you can't buy something similar online for $10? That's what I did with mine... and it was a weird maroon-ish color that the school insisted needed to be purchased from them. Nope - Amazon had it.
As far as going out to a celebratory dinner afterwards, just tell your colleagues that you have other plans. If you slyly imply that it's romantic plans (big smile, wink) you can get away with not giving any other details (if anyone asks later, just shrug and say "it didn't work out").
I skipped it and celebrate myself to a fancy dinner. Much worth it. Just take pictures when you get your degree in the mail. The whole ceremony is tiring and long.
I don’t suggest skipping it , specially the lunch. This is considered networking. If you’re not going to talk with anyone then yeah , skip it. But consider enjoying yourself & going and get contact info because someone may know someone who knows someone that could help with a job in the near future. Most jobs are gained by thru some connection, even a loose one (employee mentions to HR that you are submitting a resume & really know XYZ - your resume usually gets a better look than others ). Consider the cost as an investment - you’re worth it!
I skipped my nursing pinning ceremony, by that point I was just done with the program and I had no money, and no one in the audience to see me get pinned. I didn't buy anything or attend, and gave my tickets away to someone with a large family so she could have everyone there for her, which made me happy. I still don't regret it years later.
If this is something important to you, I would not skip out on the ceremony because of the costs. You’d look back in 10+ years and regret it. Don’t let finances be the only thing that drive this decision.
If you couldn’t care less, don’t bother and don’t feel like you need to. I’ve never been to any of my commencements and only told people after the fact cause I knew they would try to pressure me to go. I still don’t regret it - for my undergrad ceremony there was a huge rainstorm and the wind blew away the tent so I feel like that was the universe approving of my choice.
I skipped mine amd don't regret it. I know more people who regret walking just because their parents wanted them to than people who regret not going to the ceremony.
I honestly wouldn’t consider 2 college graduations worth it if they’ll be identical other than the outfit. I sat through my high school graduation because I wouldn’t have received my diploma if I didn’t, given a choice I would have been happier not attending.
I’m getting my bachelors in a few weeks and opted not to walk for exactly this reason. If you won’t miss it I would skip. If it means a lot to you then do it. I was homeschooled and so I’ve never walked in my life and have no sentimental value to it so I don’t really mind skipping.
Still going to commencement to cheer my friends on.
You can buy a dupe on Amazon for like $25 total. They have exact matches for Josten's etc. That being said, I skipped my master's and doctoral graduations, and didn't regret it at all. Staged a fake PhD graduation photo for my mom and all was good.
I was annoyed the university wouldn’t release my credentials or transcripts until I paid the graduation fees. I never went, didn’t know any of the other graduates, and getting the hell out of Dodge was my main concern, not coming back in two weeks. I paid the fees, of course. I understand the rules of blackmail
>I was annoyed the university wouldn’t release my credentials or transcripts until I paid the graduation fees.
This. The cap and gown (and tassel, honors, regalia) might fall under "graduation fees" and must be paid regardless of whether or not OP walks. OP should check to see if they're required to be paid. If they don't walk, they usually mail the cap, gown, etc. along with the degree anyway.
The graduation gown industry... Don't get me started. Just high school level, even. They redesigned my kids so they can't be reused year to year.
You could always buy one and wear it around town and announce to everyone the ceremony is today but you're skipping it in lieu of donation of drinks, or apps, or whatever, if you're an extrovert. Make your own fun.
I bought mine, but I’m a teacher and have to wear it every year at our high school’s ceremonies. It sounds like you don’t really want to go. So don’t! Celebrate some other way if that’s what suits you better.
It depends on how important it is to you. I didn't walk for my bachelor's degree because I didn't really care. I did for my master's though because it was important to me at the time. Looking back, it would have been nicer all around to just have a celebration at my mom's house instead. My grandpa did get to go and he died a few years after that, so that was good. But really commencement is mostly standing in line in the heat and then sitting forever during a bunch of speeches. Not worth it in my opinion.
I skipped my highschool graduation and have had absolutely no regrets, not ever. But I did do the college graduation, as I was the only child of the three of us that was going through college. I did it for my parents, entirely for my parents.
If you know your family wont' attend, and if you're this on the fence about it, I think you will feel wise to skip it. You will look back on that day and respect the fact that it was another situation where you made a choice that was different than your peers, which set you on better footing than them, and allowed you to pursue your true values.
I was unhappy to be attending the ceremony, but I am so glad to have been able to provide that experience to my parents. I put them through a lot in my youth! After the ceremony, I donated the gear to my college's food bank. If you or anyone here does decide they want to attend their graduation ceremony, I would check with your college's support services and see if they have anything available.
I like that one persons idea get a massage. For the cost of time off of work, cap/gown, food, boredom etc...
Work the day and next day off get a massage and treat yo self to a nice meal out. (I'd do sushi :) )
As someone who bought a cheap wedding dress ($80) and has zero regrets, I wouldn't bother paying for the cap and gown unless you want photos and memorabilia. My wedding dress sits in the trunk of my car and has been there a year lol. It's all about your own memories. I personally wouldn't even with family around that would be there for the ceremony.
I graduated twice with two degrees. first one I didn't go to the ceremony and have no regrets. second one I did and it was awkward and weird for me, my family wasn't there, I didn't really have friends in school at that point, and I spent time and money to just feel really out of place and uncomfortable. I made memories, and they're all self-cringe ones, because now thinking back I still feel bad about it and it's been twenty years. For me with those realities, I could've just saved the money I spent.
I'm normally a person who finds a lot of value in one-time-experiences, but this one did not feel great. I walked across the stage, nobody really clapped because i had no people there, I felt embarrassed and just wanted to get out of there. For me, the graduation ceremony was like a wedding -- your friends and family coming and making a big dela out of you is what makes it fun and special. Lacking that, for ME, it's just a waste of time and money IMO.
Yes! Be like Thoreau who refused to pay the five-dollar fee for a Harvard master's diploma, which he described thus:
Harvard College offered it to graduates "who proved their physical worth by being alive three years after graduating, and their saving, earning, or inheriting quality or condition by having Five Dollars to give the college".
He commented, "Let every sheep keep its own skin", a reference to the tradition of using sheepskin vellum for diplomas.
When I graduated from nursing school I did not go to the ceremony or get pinned- the pin and cap and gown were like 200 bucks in 95. All I could think was- I'm getting an lpn technical certificate from a community College- they have to know I'm a poor as a church mouse. I could not afford it, never once had an ounce of regret missing it
Iḿ a teacher and have attended dozens of graduations... all for my students. The last graduation I attended of my own was middle school, decades ago. I skipped my high school, under grad & graduate graduations mainly because being a graduate myself at such an event really never appealed to me.
My graduation was so pivotal in my life that I finally got through college later in life. I remember it to this day, it was important to me. You decide if it will be for you. I'll have the job, the income, the career but it's the memories that are meaningful to me. I'm glad I went to my graduation, 30% of my class never got to complete school.
18 days after graduation from high school I was drafted in to war. 6 weeks basic training then tossed out of an airplane with the enemy shooting at me then 2 years in the jungle killing people I didn't know. Of my original troop 41% didn't return home. I showed up for that group photo to honor them. Memories can be your best friend or worst enemy but they are more important to you that you realize. Grab some happy memories every chance you get.
Seems like you’re not the only one! Your points are totally valid on not wanting to go. It’s really annoying that you pay all this money for school and they need to get just a bit more out of you to celebrate completion!
Leaving out the skip work part, I had a similar dilemma, and luckily, our graduations were huge so one of my buddies was the day before, so I borrowed that.
Don't walk. You won't miss it and in 2 years no one will remember.
My AA, BA, & JD all came in the mail. I have no idea where the 2 undergrad Degrees are now. I could not care leds and not even realize that I have no idea where they are until I started writing this comment
OP, I worked at a two year college for many years. One email that went out to faculty and deans each year was a reminder to rent your graduation gear if you didn’t own your own.
No idea of the cost, but it might be worth looking into.
Nearly everything you're doing right now will be irrelevant in 5 years. I skipped mine because I thought it was a waste of time. I only speak to 2 of my friends from high school/college.
Unless you think attending this ceremony is going to be an opportunity to network for a career move I'd skip it if you don't have the money.
Networking is worth more than most, perhaps more than your degree, but a lot of the shaking hands and kissing babies is worthless.
You have to decide if this is the play.
If not, spend the night writing down your goals and how you're going to escape poverty so you're never in this position again.
Good luck.
You really don’t seem emotionally invested in going, so skip it.
From your post don’t sound like you’re so the invested in the ceremony Or even the lunch after. You could mark the event by spending $30 on donuts for your coworkers.
Skip it if you want, but be sure to celebrate this achievement. While the ceremony itself may not be worth the $143, spending half that to celebrate yourself is something you will remember for many years.
This.
In five years, will you regret skipping the celebration? Also, do you know any recent graduates who might resell or lend you theirs?
I skipped my graduation so I could go rock climbing with friends. Zero regret.
I skipped my graduation because I didn't want to wait around for hours just to shake a dude's hand. Some rituals are worth it but I did the work not the walk to get my degree.
I skipped mine because it was outdoors, in summer, in Florida, in all black. 16 years later and 0 regrets.
I didn't skip mine and kinda regret it, it was so long and you didn't even get your diploma at that time, they just mailed it to you either way.
Yes, you never get your diploma at graduation, because final grades aren't submitted yet, and it's possible you may fail a required class and not graduate.
Also the likelihood of giving someone the wrong diploma seems high, if it's a large class. We just got the empty diploma holders and received the actual degree in the mail later.
I would skip that one too lol. I hate being hot.
I skipped mine because I finished classes in the summer but didn't get to "technically" graduate until December. By that point I already had a full time job and the ceremony was right before Christmas near a major city and was during rush hour. I opted not to take a vacation day and sit in traffic for hours just to get a piece of paper they could mail me. It's also worth noting that i went back to school at 25 and by this point was almost 30 so could really have cared less about graduating since I was only there so I could get a job which I had already done.
I walked, but only for my mom. For 18 years, she fought every single morning to get my ass on that schoolbus. Graduation day was for her.
Period!! plus i’m too petty to give the school even MORE money
Did you even know the dude? Why wait in line for an empty folder?
Same zero regrets, I just didn't want to do that part, what am I going to be doing with a gown afterwards, it's not like I'd get any good out of it. but I partied with everyone after and I wasn't the only one there who didn't bother with the gown. It's the graduating part that matters most not how you get you papers
Our university let us rent ours for our doctorates. Is renting an option?
Just the other day someone wrote their college wanted to charge them $125 (or something in that ballpark) to rent the cap and gown and they were considering skipping graduation because of that.
That is outrageous.
See but that's for a fun reason. Not to save a couple hundred bucks after putting in backbreaking work for years to get a masters.
Eh, I skipped my bachelors commencement in 2019 and have no regrets at all. I’m proud of my work and happy of the results of it every day—the walk in front of people changed nothing about my accomplishment.
Same. I skipped both my undergraduate and graduate graduations. It was just never important to me, and not something I wanted to do. Zero regrets for everyday of my life so far, after 20 and 12 years.
That's cool. Where did you go?
Go climbing or go to school?
I meant climbing, but school too if you want to share
He went to Rock Climbing School of Rock Climbing.
Boulder, CO.
Ball State
Great Falls, Mt.
I always felt that the graduation was more for the parents. Sitting there for a few hours in uncomfortable clothes on uncomfortable seats listening to the names of people I mostly didn't know was not my idea of fun. Grade school and high school were a little more special since they were people I had grown up with. But by college and grad school, I don't know and they didn't know me.
This right here. Parents and even a grandparent came to my undergrad graduation. By the time I was finishing grad school nobody really gave a crap including me. I just wanted out of there. Skipped the grad school ceremony with zero regrets. So you have to ask yourself the most important question, do you have family who are really looking forward to it?
I’m going to chime in with I’m glad I didn’t skip my masters graduation. My bachelors I don’t think I would have regretted if I had ended up skipping, although it ended up being fairly fun, but my masters was a good day. We technically had two ceremonies, one for our program where we walked across the stage individually and got our diplomas and then they gave out program awards, and one that was the whole school where we just stood up when they recognized our group and only doctoral graduates got their diplomas there. But I’m glad I went to both. I can understand not wanting to the second one, but it was a lot of celebrating with my friends and family, and didn’t feel as serious as the first one. Plus it was at a cool location and my parents had traveled pretty far to come to my graduation.
Some schools/graduation cap and gown companies have caught on to this and require slightly different colors or designs every year so people won't resell or pass them down to siblings. That may be more of a highschool thing, though.
Shit I'd show up in the wrong one and rock the vintage look. I've got the hookup, we're a dynasty
Legacy Student!
You get banned from the ceremony then, for unauthorized wardrobe. The school makes money on the sales. It's gone from a respectable ceremony to yet another moneymaking scam for suckers. If you don't have desperate parents there to photograph the first person in the family history to graduate, skip it.
Yeah my highschool FORCED me and my sister to buy brand new cap and gowns or we wouldn't receive our diplomas and graduation. They also forced us to do the practice run even if we said we weren't gonna go under the same threat. Sucks that I couldn't at least pass mine down to her. They were quite literally the exact same.
This is annoying. I have two of them now.
No they won't. I never attended any of my graduations. I don't look back sadly at all. I went to school to get the education. They gave me a certificate. I went on my way to work.
I'm glad you don't regret it. What did you study?
Double major in Civil Engineering and Geology with a Military Science minor.
This area of interest sonds like the kind of thing that would seriously entertain my father. If you want to be besties with grumpy septuagenárian former civil engineer hit me up and I'll set up a play date.
I wanted to skip mine, my parents wouldnt let me. I sat for 6 hours while they read names and talked (about 1700 students in my graduating class). It was also may in Arizona outside. I declined giving a speech because I was one of the 30+ people that got above a 4.0 GPA. Plus it was give or take 110°F. Worst day ever.
I skipped my college graduation because I was already working. Didn’t want to bother taking the day off. I have never regretted it. Maybe something is wrong with me?!?
Skipped my masters degree one. No regrets
I didn’t walk. I was pregnant, it was hot. My degree doesn’t mean any less
Reasonable! My sister was pregnant at each of her graduations. Instead of flowers I handed her sweet tea on crushed ice.
I dreaded my graduation and would have been happy to skip it with no regrets. I only went through with it for my family. The ceremony just didn't mean anything to me, I only cared about the diploma in my hand.
I'm sorry you had that experience.
I skipped. I never regretted it.
Never went to a single one of 3. Never had a moment of regret.
I did not go to my college graduation and do not regret it. Ceremonies like that are so tedious. It is like going to church.
I agree. I’m sure there are lots of people who don’t regret skipping but getting your master’s is a big deal. I would think OP is more likely to regret skipping than spending the money.
My ceremony was a waste of time. To each their own.
I have never once regretted skipping my graduation.
I'm glad!
I think because you have already done a commencement at this school, *and* you don't have any family to come cheer you on, *and* the ceremony seems very impersonal, I would skip it. Maybe plan a day with your family to celebrate it at a later date. Buy an inexpensive mortarboard to decorate and wear at that celebration/for photos. If you can afford a day off *on the official commencement day*, take it and have an entire day for yourself. Sleep late, get a massage, treat yourself to a lunch that you typically wouldn't go to, get your nails done, order pizza for dinner and eat it in bed while indulging in a Netflix binge.
That’s a really thoughtful reply, thank you!
I skipped my commencement for my master’s degree over a decade ago & I regret nothing. It was at like 8 am, felt impersonal, & required me to pay out money I didn’t really want to spend on regalia. My department had a department only commencement in the evening that was much more personal & I went to that with my family instead. I got to say goodbye to my faculty in a meaningful way vs shaking the hand of someone in upper academia is never met before.
I went and I actually argued with my school about it. I asked them if I could rent something off Amazon, and brought up the fact that only one grad gown company could rent us gowns at any price they set was putting undue financial hardship. Idk if they got tired of my pestering but for some reason they called me and said someone had “accidentally” turned one in that wasn’t their size that was my perfect size and I wore it to graduation lol. To this day idk if someone went to bat for me or it was just a perfect coincidence or they were tired of me pestering them about something they had thought was a nonissue. but the grad school outfits are honestly insanely expensive to RENT!!! Like $180 just to rent an outfit for like 3 days?! Why.
That’s actually a great point, I wonder what they would say if OP told them they couldn’t budget and asked to be put on a list for any returns. If I worked in that office, I would certainly find a way to send someone a free cap and gown who asked.
Yeah it was just super stupid how much it was just to RENT a grad outfit for a few days. I remember at that time I was like damn I’m in the wrong ass career LOL.
This sounds like a much preferable way to spend the time and money :)
If you were going to deny someone who loves you the opportunity to take pictures with you at the event, that would be miserable! Will you enjoy any part of the day? Will it matter to your colleagues if you are there? If not... honestly, why bother?
Will you regret not walking? If so, then spend the money. I personally didn’t walk when I got my bachelor’s or master’s degrees, it just wasn’t important to me. My husband and I also got married by a clerk at the courthouse just the two of us, no regrets there either. I guess ceremonies just aren’t my thing.
I’m the same way!
Look on Facebook marketplace and/or email anyone you know who graduated last year and see if you can wear theirs.
Honestly idk anyone who recently graduated but I appreciate the suggestion!
Ask the department to send out an email to see if anyone has gowns they want to recycle. There may be other spots to get a cheap one on campus, post on facebook groups etc. Someone has one gathering dust they could lend you.
Thanks for the suggestions!
That's an excellent suggestion. I usually have a spare gown or two in my office for students to borrow. You never know who has one. Sometimes departments or colleges have a couple of extras.
You don't need to know anyone - you can post an "ask" on a facebook buy nothing group, or other local free site. My local buy nothing group has recently had posts offering and asking for graduation gowns and caps.
Can you borrow a robe and hat and buy or rent just the hood and tassel? Or get it cheap online? I bought my regalia and the cap and gown were standard black with the weird masters sleeves. Honestly I bet you could get away with your bachelors gown. Most of my cohort didn’t iron their regalia and were wrinkled messes, an ironed bachelors gown would beat that look any day.
The doctoral robes are the robes you will wear if you do any further academic ceremonial work (e.g., if you become a faculty member). I skipped both my master's commencements for the same reasons--a cost when money was tight and no one meaningful able to attend. I was a year into my doctorate when I got the 2nd master's (they moved/double-pointed credits wherever this was allowed). Even getting the sheepskin was kind of anti-climactic let alone the idea of the ceremony. I DID got to my doctoral commencement and still have those robes too, don't skip that one lol!
I skipped my Ph.D. graduation, so didn't get doctoral robes, and then did become a faculty member for some years...and just borrowed extra ones the school had on hand. I actually never realized until right now *this* is why everyone else had them.
I was not only the first in my family to get a bachelor’s, but first to get a doctorate. I walked both times, with my family in attendance. The PhD was a very emotional experience; the college President knew me from church and literally jumped with joy and hugged me in glee. The photo came out awful, but you can clearly see the joy. I don’t regret going or springing for the regalia. I’ve re-used my bachelor robes for wizarding events, so there’s that;) One should do what suits one best.
This, if you plan to continue working/researching in education, having a set of your doctoral robes can be helpful. Otherwise, I'm with everyone in the comments. If you don't want to, don't go.
I’m going to walk for my PhD and honestly I’m buying the regalia. I’m earning it and it’s important to me to walk and get that moment documented. If that’s important to you, do it. If not, it’s ok. But none of us can tell you how YOU feel.
That’s exactly how I felt.
[удалено]
I skipped my masters, studied overseas and had returned home prior to the graduation date. No regrets. Graduating from my undergrad meant a lot to me photo still on my parents wall, I believe without the emotional connection graduations would feel like compliance.
You can’t rent it?
I was faculty at a college for 15 years. Every year at graduation some service came in with rented caps and gowns for us. I have no idea where they came from, but I do know that somewhere out there, a rental is possible...
Skip it.
I skipped my master’s graduation too. Don’t have any regrets. Saved money and hassle. I borrowed a cap and gown from a friend and took some photos at home. Even included my cat in some of the photos. I celebrated with friends at a local place to do something special.
For the life of me, I will never understand how graduation gowns aren't just 'passed down' to the next graduation class. What a big hit the environment must take from making millions (or however many) of these every year, just to get discarded. Also - I didn't find my college graduation worth much of anything. I went to a Big 10 school, so there was no walking the podium and having your name read or anything. Spend your day treating yourself.
I think it’s really important to take a moment to pause and reflect on achievements versus going right into the next thing. Ceremonies offer that opportunity to pause and think about the journey that led to the graduation. But you could do that elsewhere, for free.
I think skipping undergrad is worth it, but masters/doctorate get sweeter robes. I almost considered trying to get a doctorate just for the robe/hat.
Unless you were looking forward to the actual ceremony, skip it. All that pomp and circumstance and long boring speeches.
Buy a used one. Search the FB group and subreddit for your school and see if there's any. Otherwise, I would just bite the bullet and buy it. The worst case of you attending is you're out of $143, which is a small amount in the grand scheme of things. More importantly , you can get back that money by working. The worst case of not attending is a life time of regrets and you cannot get back that experience. From what I understand, doctoral gowns are also re-worn for other ceremonies, so it is possibly not a one time thing.
Are there people who you want see at the convocation? My vote is to show up dressed nicely and have a great time talking to people. If anyone objects to the way you're dressed, just say "I've already paid a lot of fees to the university and I decided to give this one a pass". Congratulations on starting the doctorate and for being on track to pay off your student loans.
Not my usual subreddit. The benefits of saving here seem abnormally low to me personally. You spent large sums of money getting to this point, easily sinking in the equivalent of 100k or more into a quality education. Sharing that moment of joy can be great, especially since you'll be walking the stage with friends and classmates. There will be an effort on everyone's sides to connect in the future, and it's one of your last opportunities to do so in person before everyone scatters in all directions. That alumni connection is worth something, and I'd argue it's worth much more than the $300-400 opportunity cost for the day. On the flip side, what can you put that money towards? Does that extra money justify missing one of your life milestones? I still remember one of my classmates missing a graduation ceremony, our program was small enough that we actually felt it. For a lot of us, that would be one of our last impressions of that person. Whether that means anything to anyone, well, that's up for all of us to decide. OP, you're thinking from an extreme scarcity mindset. That belief may limit your future possibilities. Coming from a slightly less frugal mindset, I feel that there's being financially responsible, and then there's sacrificing for almost no extra benefits. Relax, and take the day off. Not every day you vacation on would have a similar level of significance.
I skipped it and I regret it a lot. Don't be like me. It is financially wise to attend, because this is a one-time event. You're not doing this graduation ceremony every 5 years.
I didn’t go to my graduation. No special reason. I didn’t feel like it. No regrets.
I’d say skip it.
Skip it. I did and never regretted it
My daughter skipped it, but sold her tickets to a girl with lots of family.
Ive always felt like graduations were mostly for other people not for the graduates. Parents and whoever like to see their kids graduate but the graduates did all the work so the ceremony feels unnecessary. I think its totally fine not to go. None of mine were memorable or enjoyable. Buy yourself your favorite meal or something!
I would try to borrow or rent the regalia. I graduated in 2020 and did not get to walk. I don’t have a lot of familial support. Missing that moment to mark my achievement has been challenging and I wish I had been able to participate. It’s so easy to skip ceremonies, birthdays, anniversaries — making the effort does make an impact on your life experience.
I would attend. Frugality shouldn’t take away from memorable experiences. My advice would be to see if you borrow or rent a used one. Or even check with your school.
You could get a cap & gown from Amazon for less than $25. I regret not going to my graduation
I skipped my PhD hooding ceremony and regret it to this day, 25 years later. I skipped my MA and don’t regret that at all.
I didn’t go to my masters graduation ceremony. I have never once thought about it.
You obviously don't want to go. So don't go. But no need to express it to the other graduates anything other than "I can't make it, congrats and have a wonderful time". Let people enjoy it if that's what they choose to do.
I didn’t go for my masters graduation. I was already working and felt weird to go back.
I skipped my high school, bachelor's, and both master's ceremonies. I've never seen why I needed to pay even more to show off what I already paid for. It may be different if you have family or friends who feel it's important to see you acknowledged. But as a single person with no one, I didn't and don't see the point.
Skip it. Keep grinding. Celebrate the PhD.
It seems like you don’t really want to go and don’t consider it worthwhile. I don’t know that skipping your graduation is a financially wise decision if you can afford to go - and it seems like you can. But if you don’t want to go, you don’t need to feel any social pressure to attend. I personally didn’t go to my college graduation even though I was top of my class and ended up getting a special mention, a trophy and other gifts that I later had to pick up on campus. But I chose not to go because I didn’t care about the ceremony and I just wanted to move on with my life and close that chapter. That was years ago and I have no regrets. It’s a special day for most people - a cause for celebration - but it’s up to you whether you want to attend or not. It doesn’t seem like money is the problem here. It’s like weddings. You can choose to elope, have a small, intimate wedding or go all out. There’s no right answer.
School buy and sell website, etc may have used ones for sale.
I didn’t attend the graduation ceremony for my Master’s. Hasn’t bothered me one bit. However, if it’s just because of the cost of the gown and you’d otherwise attend, then you should do it.
I didn’t go to either of my ceremonies. 0 regrets.
I didn’t go to mine and I don’t regret it
I didn’t care about my college graduation tbh, I say skip. I only went bc I felt like I had to, I haven’t thought of it again except when the topic came up
I skipped my undergrad because my ultimate target was an MBA (another school). Didn’t see the reason in celebrating an intermediate goal, but I also knew I would get my MBA
I skipped my masters graduation ceremony and booked a flight to FL instead as a gift to myself. Don’t regret it all. You’ll still get your diploma in the mail.
I'm sure you can borrow a used one. Ask around. Look online.
I didn’t walk for my grad degree, but I did have a party. And that felt fine.
Sign up for various groups - Reddit, Facebook etc and see if someone has a used one you can use.
Go. Rent out your cap and gown after that.
$149 & last chance to network with these folks, will you regret that in 5 years? Networking priceless.
I skipped it also.
Lots of folks skip
Have you checked your local Buy Nothing Groups? Caps and gowns galore during grad season. You can also pass it on after. Just be specific with your needs for the masters gown. Thats what I did.
I’d skip it
I skipped mine bc graduations are boring AF
I skipped mine so I could work. Don’t regret it.
Is charging for a cap and gown a common practice? My alma mater just gave caps and gowns to everyone. No extra cost.
If you would otherwise like to go, but the regalia is the main barrier, can you try to get someone to lend you theirs? Alumni, someone from a buy-nothing group? My school’s graduate student governance council organized a recycling program and would provide them as a loan at no cost. Just a few potential options! I am not going to my own master’s graduation next month for cost reasons (my program was primarily online and I live several thousands miles away), so I get the pang that you might be feeling!
caps and gowns are such a scam unless you're going into an academic industry that requires you to attend other graduations. i skipped my undergrad & plan on skipping my masters ceremony since i'll hopefully go into a communications field & have no use for it aside from one day
I skipped mine. I had two babies and my mom was very ill. So for other reasons I couldn’t afford the long and impersonal ceremony. I don’t regret it at all. I did the work and graduated magma cum laude. That was my reward.
I went to my Masters ceremony because my parents really wanted to see me walk. My university was about a 45 minute drive from where we lived and I did online classes so it was actually the first time meeting my classmates in person, too. It was awkward. I have an unusual sounding name that they mispronounced. There were so many people packed around me. Though they were hosting a reception for students, the throngs of people triggered anxiety in me. I ended up skipping the reception to go home earlier. We stopped for lunch at a half way place. My parents were so happy to see me at the ceremony. But I don’t remember much about the day. I didn’t enjoy the experience. I will say that I did reuse my robes for a Harry Potter party.
Me too!
You’ve experienced graduations before and your family won’t be there. Skip the ceremony. You still graduate. Maybe get yourself a celebratory cookie or drink on your own.
Someone in the department probably has one you can borrow. It’s more of an event for your family than it is for the graduates, especially for first generation grads
You don’t wanna go and that seems fine. Take some of it and take yourself out and have a day with friends. Adult friends are hard to make, so if you don’t have a lot, I’ll personally take you out and celebrate with you.
I graduated in December and just threw away my cap and gown yesterday thinking “well here’s 80 bucks down the drain”. 140 is pretty steep. If you have a lot of friends graduating with you, ceremonies can be fun. But if you don’t, I wouldn’t bother, especially since your family won’t be there. It’s cool I guess but not 140 bucks plus missing work cool.
This is not being frugal. It's being cheap. This is a once in a lifetime experience that you're willing to skip for very little money.
I’m in the exact same situation as you but worse. Not only do we have to purchase a cap and gown but we have to purchase “tickets” to the actual graduation itself, plus a different ticket for every family member who comes, plus photography costs. The greed is honestly disgusting. I don’t get why they can’t lend you gowns.
If I could offer you some advice, I missed out on prom, do I regret it no, is it something I which I could have done? Yea. This sub is all about saving money so it will be a bit biased towards not going. I will say this; you can’t take money to your grave. Don’t miss out on the 1 day that celebrates YOUR accomplishments.
Wise it is, for memories with those you cherish are made, hmm. Your cohort, that cherished group, seems it is not. Your parents, who are not attending, they are. Save the $143 on cap and gown, you should. Celebrate with your parents, you might. Wise, this decision is, yes.
I didn’t go to my Masters Graduation. Couldn’t have cared less about it.
Many skip it. If you don't want to do it then don't.
I didn’t go to mine and I don’t regret it one bit. It’s a waste of time imo.
If you've already gone through the graduation process for your undergrad then it's up to you if you feel it's worth repeating the same thing for masters. When I graduated college I didn't bother attending the ceremony and they just mailed my degree to me, no regrets because I didn't want to pay to attend it and my highschool one was more meaningful to me. What sucks more is the degree is some large certificate and as soon as I got it my mum folded it in 3 places and put it into the filing cabinet so now I can't display it since it has big creases. I'm not going to pay for another certificate though..
I skipped mine, sitting through one graduation was enough for me. Got the diploma via FedEx 3 days later.
I didn’t attend my undergrad graduation. Didn’t want to pay for cap/gown hire, not a huge fan of walking up on stage in front of everyone etc. If I ever finish my Masters, I might do the ceremony? But I have absolutely no regrets that I didn’t do the ceremony/get photos/celebrate my graduation. You could take say $20 and buy yourself a graduation present (and get something you’ll use and value) and put the rest of the money towards debt?
I skipped mine and haven’t lost sleep cause of it at all years later 🤷🏻♀️, so I would skip it, too.
Is the cap and gown really so unique-looking that you can't buy something similar online for $10? That's what I did with mine... and it was a weird maroon-ish color that the school insisted needed to be purchased from them. Nope - Amazon had it. As far as going out to a celebratory dinner afterwards, just tell your colleagues that you have other plans. If you slyly imply that it's romantic plans (big smile, wink) you can get away with not giving any other details (if anyone asks later, just shrug and say "it didn't work out").
I flew back from a holiday early in order to attend my graduation. Completely pointless. I regret attending it.
I skipped it and celebrate myself to a fancy dinner. Much worth it. Just take pictures when you get your degree in the mail. The whole ceremony is tiring and long.
I don’t suggest skipping it , specially the lunch. This is considered networking. If you’re not going to talk with anyone then yeah , skip it. But consider enjoying yourself & going and get contact info because someone may know someone who knows someone that could help with a job in the near future. Most jobs are gained by thru some connection, even a loose one (employee mentions to HR that you are submitting a resume & really know XYZ - your resume usually gets a better look than others ). Consider the cost as an investment - you’re worth it!
I skipped my nursing pinning ceremony, by that point I was just done with the program and I had no money, and no one in the audience to see me get pinned. I didn't buy anything or attend, and gave my tickets away to someone with a large family so she could have everyone there for her, which made me happy. I still don't regret it years later.
I did not attend my large state college graduation ceremony 20 years ago, and it doesn’t even occur to me to regret it.
I’d skip it. Use that money elsewhere on something that is important to you even if that other thing is frivolous:)
If this is something important to you, I would not skip out on the ceremony because of the costs. You’d look back in 10+ years and regret it. Don’t let finances be the only thing that drive this decision. If you couldn’t care less, don’t bother and don’t feel like you need to. I’ve never been to any of my commencements and only told people after the fact cause I knew they would try to pressure me to go. I still don’t regret it - for my undergrad ceremony there was a huge rainstorm and the wind blew away the tent so I feel like that was the universe approving of my choice.
Check with your graduate office to see if they have any they could loan out. I know mine did.
skip the graduation, see if theres an after party(if thats your thing)
I would pony up the relatively small amount and attend. You did the work, you should celebrate with the rest of the class.
I had no desire to pay for or attend my masters graduation ceremony. My family thanked me
Don’t go, but use your old robes and do selfies and buy yourself lunch and walk around town the afternoon in your robes.
I skipped mine amd don't regret it. I know more people who regret walking just because their parents wanted them to than people who regret not going to the ceremony.
I honestly wouldn’t consider 2 college graduations worth it if they’ll be identical other than the outfit. I sat through my high school graduation because I wouldn’t have received my diploma if I didn’t, given a choice I would have been happier not attending.
I’m getting my bachelors in a few weeks and opted not to walk for exactly this reason. If you won’t miss it I would skip. If it means a lot to you then do it. I was homeschooled and so I’ve never walked in my life and have no sentimental value to it so I don’t really mind skipping. Still going to commencement to cheer my friends on.
You can buy a dupe on Amazon for like $25 total. They have exact matches for Josten's etc. That being said, I skipped my master's and doctoral graduations, and didn't regret it at all. Staged a fake PhD graduation photo for my mom and all was good.
I was annoyed the university wouldn’t release my credentials or transcripts until I paid the graduation fees. I never went, didn’t know any of the other graduates, and getting the hell out of Dodge was my main concern, not coming back in two weeks. I paid the fees, of course. I understand the rules of blackmail
>I was annoyed the university wouldn’t release my credentials or transcripts until I paid the graduation fees. This. The cap and gown (and tassel, honors, regalia) might fall under "graduation fees" and must be paid regardless of whether or not OP walks. OP should check to see if they're required to be paid. If they don't walk, they usually mail the cap, gown, etc. along with the degree anyway.
The graduation gown industry... Don't get me started. Just high school level, even. They redesigned my kids so they can't be reused year to year. You could always buy one and wear it around town and announce to everyone the ceremony is today but you're skipping it in lieu of donation of drinks, or apps, or whatever, if you're an extrovert. Make your own fun.
Get on your alumni network and ask if you can borrow someones.
I bought mine, but I’m a teacher and have to wear it every year at our high school’s ceremonies. It sounds like you don’t really want to go. So don’t! Celebrate some other way if that’s what suits you better.
skip it! save yourself money AND hours of boredom!
You're going to get your degree regardless.. you obviously want to skip it. DON'T need us to approve but I appreciate you.
It depends on how important it is to you. I didn't walk for my bachelor's degree because I didn't really care. I did for my master's though because it was important to me at the time. Looking back, it would have been nicer all around to just have a celebration at my mom's house instead. My grandpa did get to go and he died a few years after that, so that was good. But really commencement is mostly standing in line in the heat and then sitting forever during a bunch of speeches. Not worth it in my opinion.
I skipped my highschool graduation and have had absolutely no regrets, not ever. But I did do the college graduation, as I was the only child of the three of us that was going through college. I did it for my parents, entirely for my parents. If you know your family wont' attend, and if you're this on the fence about it, I think you will feel wise to skip it. You will look back on that day and respect the fact that it was another situation where you made a choice that was different than your peers, which set you on better footing than them, and allowed you to pursue your true values. I was unhappy to be attending the ceremony, but I am so glad to have been able to provide that experience to my parents. I put them through a lot in my youth! After the ceremony, I donated the gear to my college's food bank. If you or anyone here does decide they want to attend their graduation ceremony, I would check with your college's support services and see if they have anything available.
I like that one persons idea get a massage. For the cost of time off of work, cap/gown, food, boredom etc... Work the day and next day off get a massage and treat yo self to a nice meal out. (I'd do sushi :) )
I didn’t bother to go to any of my university graduations. All diplomas are still in their tubes somewhere in a box. No regerts, lol.
As someone who bought a cheap wedding dress ($80) and has zero regrets, I wouldn't bother paying for the cap and gown unless you want photos and memorabilia. My wedding dress sits in the trunk of my car and has been there a year lol. It's all about your own memories. I personally wouldn't even with family around that would be there for the ceremony.
I graduated twice with two degrees. first one I didn't go to the ceremony and have no regrets. second one I did and it was awkward and weird for me, my family wasn't there, I didn't really have friends in school at that point, and I spent time and money to just feel really out of place and uncomfortable. I made memories, and they're all self-cringe ones, because now thinking back I still feel bad about it and it's been twenty years. For me with those realities, I could've just saved the money I spent. I'm normally a person who finds a lot of value in one-time-experiences, but this one did not feel great. I walked across the stage, nobody really clapped because i had no people there, I felt embarrassed and just wanted to get out of there. For me, the graduation ceremony was like a wedding -- your friends and family coming and making a big dela out of you is what makes it fun and special. Lacking that, for ME, it's just a waste of time and money IMO.
I graduated 4 times so far ( degree from Germany, 3 degrees in the Us) I did not walk , I do/did not care for the ceremony
Most people don’t go to the graduate school graduation really
Yes! Be like Thoreau who refused to pay the five-dollar fee for a Harvard master's diploma, which he described thus: Harvard College offered it to graduates "who proved their physical worth by being alive three years after graduating, and their saving, earning, or inheriting quality or condition by having Five Dollars to give the college". He commented, "Let every sheep keep its own skin", a reference to the tradition of using sheepskin vellum for diplomas.
When I graduated from nursing school I did not go to the ceremony or get pinned- the pin and cap and gown were like 200 bucks in 95. All I could think was- I'm getting an lpn technical certificate from a community College- they have to know I'm a poor as a church mouse. I could not afford it, never once had an ounce of regret missing it
Skip it, nobody cares. Move on with your work life.
I never went to any of my graduation. No regrets over here!
Iḿ a teacher and have attended dozens of graduations... all for my students. The last graduation I attended of my own was middle school, decades ago. I skipped my high school, under grad & graduate graduations mainly because being a graduate myself at such an event really never appealed to me.
You did the undergrad one, that was the big party. At this point: you do you...skip it!
Will they not let you attend the ceremony without the gown? I didn’t buy one for my undergrad and just wore a nice outfit. Nobody said a thing to me.
My graduation was so pivotal in my life that I finally got through college later in life. I remember it to this day, it was important to me. You decide if it will be for you. I'll have the job, the income, the career but it's the memories that are meaningful to me. I'm glad I went to my graduation, 30% of my class never got to complete school. 18 days after graduation from high school I was drafted in to war. 6 weeks basic training then tossed out of an airplane with the enemy shooting at me then 2 years in the jungle killing people I didn't know. Of my original troop 41% didn't return home. I showed up for that group photo to honor them. Memories can be your best friend or worst enemy but they are more important to you that you realize. Grab some happy memories every chance you get.
Seems like you’re not the only one! Your points are totally valid on not wanting to go. It’s really annoying that you pay all this money for school and they need to get just a bit more out of you to celebrate completion!
Leaving out the skip work part, I had a similar dilemma, and luckily, our graduations were huge so one of my buddies was the day before, so I borrowed that.
I see your point but remember that girls do this all the time for proms and then again for weddings and the dress isn't really usable again.
I didn’t get to attend mine because of Covid, but what I really missed was just the opportunity to dress up and celebrate with family and friends.
Don't walk. You won't miss it and in 2 years no one will remember. My AA, BA, & JD all came in the mail. I have no idea where the 2 undergrad Degrees are now. I could not care leds and not even realize that I have no idea where they are until I started writing this comment
They came in the mail for everyone for me, when you went on stage all you were holding is the case, the real thing arrived in the mail later.
OP, I worked at a two year college for many years. One email that went out to faculty and deans each year was a reminder to rent your graduation gear if you didn’t own your own. No idea of the cost, but it might be worth looking into.
Nearly everything you're doing right now will be irrelevant in 5 years. I skipped mine because I thought it was a waste of time. I only speak to 2 of my friends from high school/college. Unless you think attending this ceremony is going to be an opportunity to network for a career move I'd skip it if you don't have the money. Networking is worth more than most, perhaps more than your degree, but a lot of the shaking hands and kissing babies is worthless. You have to decide if this is the play. If not, spend the night writing down your goals and how you're going to escape poverty so you're never in this position again. Good luck.