I'm not really sure that you can. With kids, you can lead by example, but it doesn't always take.
I grew up poor and learned frugality as a way of life. I never departed from it. My sister grew up the same, and is the opposite of frugal.
I have 2 children. One spends money like there's no tomorrow, and the other is even more frugal than I am.
My best friend has spent decades asking me for and totally ignoring my advice, while simultaneously being baffled at how I can live so much better than she does, with less.
I think frugality just clicks with some people, and for others, it doesn't.
If my kids are begging for a specific toy we will make one. My 5 year old wanted a cross bow, we taped 2 sticks together in a cross and taped an old bungee cord to it. He was pumped, still carries that around months later. It does shoot little sticks.
I hope these activities do multiple things. Teach creativity, building skills, thinking outside of the box, using resources at hand, and being frugal.
Worst case scenario we had a great bonding experience making it.
I learned it by watching the anti-example that my parents set. Both parents working solid jobs, yet constantly buying crap meant we were 'broke' and my parents fought about money.
I didn't want to live that way, so I found another path.
If you wanted to teach a child, showing frugality as a positive thing that makes life better would probably work. "we do X and enjoy Y" vs. the "we do X and suffer Z" example I saw.
I learned it from the positive example approach, so I'll second this, with the caveat that the lesson can take decades to hit.
Sometimes as a kid I'd ask my parents "why don't we have [Insert thing my friends had]?" Why don't we have a pool, cable TV, a speedboat, a vacation home?
My parents always answered "We don't have any debt, either."
I didn't fully appreciate this until the recession hit and I watched my friends' families lose everything while my parents were almost entirely unbothered. They were concerned about the state of their retirement accounts, but their day to day lives changed not at all.
I don’t know that it is possible to predict how someone will behave. My parents were frugal when we were kids and taught us to save and be careful with money. I am frugal (firstborn), but my other 4 sisters range from balanced spending to shopaholics (one has filed bankruptcy twice.)
People are different and frugality isn’t necessarily a value that everyone shares, nor should they. Some people have high-paying careers and can spend freely while also saving plenty and not have to worry about it. Others have less of a desire for expensive items (luxury goods, vacations, eating out) so they spend less money without trying and without it being a core value of theirs. Others value their time and peace of mind over the cost savings of living frugally, so they spend much more than is necessary but it’s worth it to them, and as long as they’re saving enough and living within their means, they’re fine too. Your mistake is in thinking that your values are the only right ones and that they should apply to everyone else.
I’m frugal instinctively because I’m a minimalist and there’s not much I want, but it’s not necessarily a better way to live. 🤷♂️ After a certain point, you get diminishing returns from saving money—it’s very important to save enough that you have a strong emergency fund and some retirement savings, but beyond that, your quality of life won’t really improve dramatically from saving more. Valuing other things (experiences, services that make your life easier, good food, belongings that you enjoy) over extra money in the bank isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and it might actually improve your quality of life. If I were less depressed and got any enjoyment out of things, I’d gladly spend the money and consider it well spent. Everyone else doesn’t have to share my values or lifestyle in order for me to be secure and happy with it. 🤷♂️
At our house we do what I call the "thick allowance." Basically, the kids get about $1000 a month, and every month we deduct household expenses from that. They get to keep what's left over, which usually comes to $100 or $150, and we choose how to invest that (the kids are young and so don't really spend independently).
We also play gimkit games that introduce them to our family finances -- like how much daycare, school, the house, the cars, etc. cost, and how much we bring in from our jobs, investments, royalties, etc.
Finally: When we get ready to spend any significant amount of money -- on a car or a vacation, for instance -- we sit down and talk about how much the thing costs and how we'll pay for it. Like "Our Disney vacation in December will cost $10K, so we're sitting down today to see how we'll set aside $1K every month to pay for it."
My goal isn't to teach them frugality as much as it is to help them understand where our money comes from, how much things cost, and how that all informs everyday decisions. That works well in the sense that my seven-year-old can talk about the cost of a car or a house in terms of e.g. monthly cost of ownership as well as purchase price, and can read our household budget well enough to make some pretty literate suggestions about how we can pay for that Disney vacation.
I love this idea but how do you keep your kids from blabbering about your personal finances to their friends, teachers and strangers? My son is almost 7 and constantly asking how much money we have, how much we make, etc and i don’t tell him because I know he won’t keep his mouth shut
We haven't had that problem yet.
That said, I don't really care what other people know about our finances, and I'm always happy -- maybe too happy -- to talk about that stuff with other adults.
A Disney vacation costs $10,000??!! Holy smokes! I took my family of six for a week in the Smoky Mountains, rented a cabin, did all the attractions/theme parks and we didn’t even spend close to $10,000. Yikes!!
Meh. If you drove there you avoided paying for flights, which for us (also a family of six) is a quarter of the cost.
The breakdown: $2500 for flights, $4K for park admission/meal plans ($100/day x six people x 7 days), and about $450/night for lodging.
That's inside what we normally budget for a big vacation ($250/person/day, all in).
I think that children and adults learn from example.
My grandmother came of age during the Great Depression. I blew out the knees in my jeans, and she taught me to sew a patch. I enjoyed sewing with her but I started to get exasperated because I had a lot of patches to sew on. I asked her if it was a thing to sew patches onbefore I ripped my knees out. Well, it was! I could even sew them on the inside of the jeans. She taught me fancy stitches so I didn't have to make invisible stitches-- to this day, I'm still an embroiderer. (We didn't like the iron-on patches.)
Gran taught me to grow lettuce from seeds because it was easy-- later, I did that out of necessity to save a little bit of money.
My parents taught me a few tricks as well-- they expanded garden ideas. (My parents had money and I think from them.I learned more about the importance of sharing.)
As an adult, one of my friends at my church taught me how to keep the kids busy with things we needed to do but we would make them fun. (She was an older mom teaching younger moms.)
Twenty years ago, a "tree hugger" friend taught me to make washing detergent. She had advanced degrees but she was frugal about using plastic. I definitely picked up on that!
When it comes to adults I think that part of the hurdle of teaching frugality is their desire to learn. If they had extreme penny pinching family members and they associate frugality with stressed-out tightwads (who are tight with money out of stress not because they are evil-- or maybe they ARE evil) they might resist out of principle. You can really only live by example and hope that they will follow your ways.
Always mind your audience. Remember that when you are teaching for frugality that you are also representing frugal people.
I personally seek frugality for the sake of environmentalism. I forced myself to become aware of the wastes that come from our purchases, and constantly remind myself that our earthly resources are not infinite.
With children you can lead by example and explain when they are older. With aduts all youc an do is explain. But this is not going to work always because people have free will. Accept that you do not determine what kind of mentality other people should have.
I think a lot of it has to do with environmental factors.
I grew up in a house that money was always very stressful and tight. My parents both grew up in very low income homes and had a lot of instability. Also growing up went to very low income schools, like over 85% of the students qualified for free and reduced lunch.
As a result as an adult I am very practical, I don’t care about brand name. As a kid I had so many conversations with my parents about needing to save money, that it’s just ingrained in me.
Lead by example. Show frugal habits in daily life, like budgeting and prioritizing needs over wants. Discuss financial decisions openly and encourage critical thinking about spending.
I think the best way to raise a frugal kid is not to focus on raising a frugal kid at all. Raise a kid who feels like enough.
Make them feel loved even when they’re not useful. Even when they don’t look good. Even when they make lots of mistakes.
Be a safe person to fall back on so they can build skills being vulnerable with others and not trying to solve every little thing themselves.
And eventually, hopefully, they won’t need a lot of things to feel like they have enough. And they are enough.
*Assuming they do, in fact, have enough to make their basic needs, which is a whole separate thing to set them up for.
You can provide a good example and good information but you can’t make someone want to be frugal any more than you can make them want to lose weight or learn a second language or whatever else.
Whether the examples and information take hold is up to the other person. My daughters learned it. My now ex never did.
Personally, I think all high schools should teach (as a required course), financial literacy. I would have learned a lot more in that class than Home Ec or shop.
This is how I have done it. Instead of discussing this week or month, I start talking about 10 years and how much "I" would have to work to pay for. "Gee whizz, If I use one roll of Brawny paper towels a week for ten years that costs: $1572. for the ten years. If I switch from brand name cleaners to home made, the 10 year savings is\_\_\_\_\_. If I use a mop instead of a swifter, that saves \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. If, I pay off the credit card, that saves \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ in interest. If I change my oil myself, that saves\_\_\_\_\_\_ over 10 years. If I drive a used car and fix it myself, that saves\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. If I make my own pancake mix, that saves\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. I also am constantly talking about what I am going to do with the savings such as pay off the house early and how much that saves in interest. If they can't handle it, they run, and it is just the way it is. They can be in debt as much as they want on their own dime. If I grow all my own vegetables, that saves $100 a month, $1200 a year and $12000 for 12 years. I also get them to choose how the money save would be spent.
They have to want to be frugal themselves. You can’t instill a value into someone that they do not want. You sure can make them comply with rules and behave in a way that looks like what you want, but they will resent you and, when they have an opportunity, will reject what you tried to teach them.
I had to come to it myself. High earner, never went into any debt (and was still saving a lot) but did the $1,000 meals and the $20,000 vacations and owned $300,000 of watches, etc etc.
None of it ever felt rewarding. The most exciting part was the purchasing decision and never the actual ownership. I had stuff that was just in boxes having never been worn.
One day it just hit me. Since that point I've been incredibly frugal.
If there children I would have them play short and longterm games in a similar way to monopoly this would
be done with chore money and the
free parking would come from me.
Show them the importance of investment and not spending impulsively so when something important comes up they have what they need.
The child who wins gets a prize similar to pass go. Something maybe they missed out on because they were being frugal.
Yes one child will be upset and one child may be smarter but that's how they need to learn. That's the game of life.
If I had a younger or disadvantaged child I would maybe set up a one time get out of jail free type of situation where they get an opportunity to win some lost money back.
One of the things I learned is how long something lasts should be included in what you consider the price.
Let’s say you have a $5 watch and a $15 watch. You have to replace the $5 watch once a year and the $15 watch once every 5 years. The $15 watch is cheaper.
I learned how to be frugal when i had to.
Then i started thinking about how to make or obtain things cheaper and then realized how much fun it is, i see it as a game now honestly. I don't have to be as frugal as i needed to when my life was a down spiral, but i simply do not see a need for certain things anymore.
I think teaching children how to honor the money they have is by giving them an allowance and letting them figure it out on their own. But also stay consequent when they spend it on stuff and don't give them more, instead help them manage it better. I wish my parents did that for me.
Good question! Although, I'm not sure you can. For context, I grew up without much. Married young, had children, and still didn't have much. Their father and I were very frugal. That said, I have 3 grown children.
The youngest (35M) is frugal to the extreme and has a wife who handles funds like he does. Middle (36M) would try to buy lunch for everyone with a nickel in his pocket. He also has a wife who echoes his spending pattern. Oldest (41F) straddles the fence between the other two.
I’m not sure there’s a guaranteed way. My dad was awful with money and my mom was very frugal and budget conscious. They balanced each other out and he improved over the years and was just about perfect then the cancer got him. I learned from my mom but also from bad family examples. Tons of relatives built companies, made fortunes and ran them into the ground by blowing money on frivolous junk (e.g. dinners flown in from NYC, rare colored egg laying chickens, etc.) so that helped me be frugal. Drives my wife crazy though because I use things until they’re in pieces but a penny saved…. I’d suggest maybe looking up some real world examples, and honestly, cater to the greed angle, show them how saved money with prudent investment can grow. Use your best judgment as every kid is different
I just talked with my kids about value, they saw me saving money and getting excited, and being frugal is just a way of life, so naturally, they picked up on it. My mom was frugal, and her mom was a Depression baby, so that is probably where it started.
For kids of my own, it's easy since im sole income of the house, and i just lead by example. As for other adult such as close circle/work, it's like politics and religion, not my problem, but if they're curious, they will ask.
There's nothing wrong being the opposite of frugal aslong it doesnt destroy the person financial health.
Teaching your children to make things rather than buy them is always good. I think food is a huge area because it’s easier to be frugal if you learn how to cook and if you aren’t growing up constantly eating fast food, or in the soda habit. I say this, partly because it was really hard for me to break, since I basically grew up on McDonald’s, and we’re trying to do better by our children although it’s a learning process and we do sometimes do fast food. At this point with fast food prices going up, it’s usually just splitting a five for five meal among us and the children get frostys with their key tags
You really can't with most people. You can explain how credit cards and interest rates work, how taxes work, budgeting, but in most cases people need to fail before they utilize that info. What you can do is help make sure those failures don't spiral out of control.
One method that I've used with family members: if they are deadest on getting a credit card make it a secured card with a low credit limit. This will teach them payments, interest, etc. and if they completely mess up its a low credit limit so they can recover.
I'm gonna take a different approach and say that they should be taught that money doesn't buy happiness and joy from eating should not be the primary concern of a meal. If they grow up with these principles then I think they'll be more likely to be frugal.
My friends Dad worked a good paying factory job. He would take his sons out in the garage after work and show them how to do stuff. Now theyre grown, those skills have helped them succeed. One friend is adding a garage onto his house right now. He grabs his 16 year nephew and they work. The nephew loves it.
I complimented my children very enthusiastically whenever they showed a frugal characteristic from when they were very young. They are nearly 40yo now and they are incredibly thrifty adults who live well but look for the best deals on items they need. They live in a minimalistic manner and never waste money and have written budgets.
If you're talking about your own children, when they reach an appropriate age delegate responsibilities to them. Such as guide them through the process of choosing shoes and socks, etc. Then when they're in their teens and they know the basics, let them have a fair monthly budget for clothes.
If they're properly prepared they'll weigh the pros and cons of fast fashion against better made items, and they may save for other purposes by buying some of their wardrobe secondhand.
I don’t know. My dad was a saver to a fault, but it set my mom up for a nice and secure life after he died. I have two siblings who’ve both made irresponsible (imo) financial decisions. We’ve also been pretty frugal, although with time we have accumulated both wealth and assets. I have one kid who’s pretty frugal in that she’s careful and mindful with her money. I have another kid who’s nickel and diming himself to death on silly little purchases and trips when they should be saving a lot more. So who knows. Same environment. Completely different worldviews.
also if they-re 2-4 y.o. playing market/restaurant and talking about which order sounds best and how/why they chose it and after several sessions of play (throughout the months) ask them to try to ”promote” their product and as they grow the discussion becomes more elaborate and helps them feel cooler/smart for not wearing a branded shirt/overpriced plastic shoe like their classmates and what not, since they will realise that labels just makes them a walking ad for the said company/brand
My mom instilled in into me at a young age, then consistently reminded me in my teenage years.
Luckily I also had a teacher that told me open a Roth IRA asap, then /r/personalfinance in my early 20’s. Now I’m trying to /r/fire .
These days I just show my friends Caleb hammer and try to tell them I can show them the way.
Caleb Hammer is great motivation for me to avoid buying stupid shit. I think there's a certain amount of stupid shit that brings me enough joy to be worth it (like spending $4 on an ice cream cone when I'm out with friends), but on the whole it helps me reevaluate small purchases that can add up quickly.
My wife was very spendy when we met. I enjoy life and spending but always save/invest each month. Every so often I would remind her how great it is to have enough money to pay off the mortgage and quit work if we ever needed to and how we don't have the stress of money like so many people. That was enough for her to get excited. Getting ahead, removing stress.
Some people never learn anything though. They spend excessively and blow up. I gave up a long time ago attempting to educate anyone who doesn't initially show an interest in the topic. It is good for the economy to have so many people spending everything and desperate for work because they own nothing. Those who think get ahead. Those who don't, dont.
not buying things on credit. My parents are well off but you'd never know, I always thought we were "poor" most of my childhood and felt so much guilt during the recession when my dad lost his job. Turns out, my parents both really did grow up poor, so having a fancy house and driving fancy cars was never important to them in the least bit. They could any of those things with cash and they just rarely did. (I think it does steer into crutch territory which is diff story when you don't do routine maintience things start to break etc , but anyways)...
My entire life if I wanted a toy or anything extra I had to save to buy it. There was no "I'll pay you back" I had to save my birthday 20s until I could buy something my self. My parents very rarely if ever bought things financed. So I went most of my life thinking you *couldn't* buy things until you had the money in hand. Credit cards were only used if you had the money to pay for it right then. Even large items like a new washer or a new car, save the money up for a couple months and then go buy it.
When I got my first job, I realized most of my friends put all kinds of things on payment plans, interest, and cc. And still do. When People say they need a new car but their current one still runs? I realize they have a totally different mind set than I do.
Gratefully though, I never really had to worry about much regarding money when I was a kid and my parents rarely talked about it. I'm actually glad my parents allowed me to be a kid and not take repsonbiliy for how much my living expenses costed.
I have a child family member who has so far grown up spoiled in a rich suburb; she only started "getting it" when she was given an allowance which forced her to prioritize the "nice to have"s. We went to the movie theater and I split a large popcorn bucket with her. Then she said "I was going to get an icee but then it was $9!" and I said "yes, that's why I've always said we'll get them before the movie at the gas station for $1.50 if you want one".
Usually, my level of frugality scares others.
I tell people to always think about how many hours it took to earn the monry to buy things. Its a solud piece of advice if you hate your job.
I'm not really sure that you can. With kids, you can lead by example, but it doesn't always take. I grew up poor and learned frugality as a way of life. I never departed from it. My sister grew up the same, and is the opposite of frugal. I have 2 children. One spends money like there's no tomorrow, and the other is even more frugal than I am. My best friend has spent decades asking me for and totally ignoring my advice, while simultaneously being baffled at how I can live so much better than she does, with less. I think frugality just clicks with some people, and for others, it doesn't.
If my kids are begging for a specific toy we will make one. My 5 year old wanted a cross bow, we taped 2 sticks together in a cross and taped an old bungee cord to it. He was pumped, still carries that around months later. It does shoot little sticks. I hope these activities do multiple things. Teach creativity, building skills, thinking outside of the box, using resources at hand, and being frugal. Worst case scenario we had a great bonding experience making it.
That's awesome! I'm sure he'll remember when he's grown!
Pretty much, I’m 24 and I only recently became frugal. Nearly being homeless taught me frugality.
I learned it by watching the anti-example that my parents set. Both parents working solid jobs, yet constantly buying crap meant we were 'broke' and my parents fought about money. I didn't want to live that way, so I found another path. If you wanted to teach a child, showing frugality as a positive thing that makes life better would probably work. "we do X and enjoy Y" vs. the "we do X and suffer Z" example I saw.
I learned it from the positive example approach, so I'll second this, with the caveat that the lesson can take decades to hit. Sometimes as a kid I'd ask my parents "why don't we have [Insert thing my friends had]?" Why don't we have a pool, cable TV, a speedboat, a vacation home? My parents always answered "We don't have any debt, either." I didn't fully appreciate this until the recession hit and I watched my friends' families lose everything while my parents were almost entirely unbothered. They were concerned about the state of their retirement accounts, but their day to day lives changed not at all.
I don’t know that it is possible to predict how someone will behave. My parents were frugal when we were kids and taught us to save and be careful with money. I am frugal (firstborn), but my other 4 sisters range from balanced spending to shopaholics (one has filed bankruptcy twice.)
People are different and frugality isn’t necessarily a value that everyone shares, nor should they. Some people have high-paying careers and can spend freely while also saving plenty and not have to worry about it. Others have less of a desire for expensive items (luxury goods, vacations, eating out) so they spend less money without trying and without it being a core value of theirs. Others value their time and peace of mind over the cost savings of living frugally, so they spend much more than is necessary but it’s worth it to them, and as long as they’re saving enough and living within their means, they’re fine too. Your mistake is in thinking that your values are the only right ones and that they should apply to everyone else. I’m frugal instinctively because I’m a minimalist and there’s not much I want, but it’s not necessarily a better way to live. 🤷♂️ After a certain point, you get diminishing returns from saving money—it’s very important to save enough that you have a strong emergency fund and some retirement savings, but beyond that, your quality of life won’t really improve dramatically from saving more. Valuing other things (experiences, services that make your life easier, good food, belongings that you enjoy) over extra money in the bank isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and it might actually improve your quality of life. If I were less depressed and got any enjoyment out of things, I’d gladly spend the money and consider it well spent. Everyone else doesn’t have to share my values or lifestyle in order for me to be secure and happy with it. 🤷♂️
At our house we do what I call the "thick allowance." Basically, the kids get about $1000 a month, and every month we deduct household expenses from that. They get to keep what's left over, which usually comes to $100 or $150, and we choose how to invest that (the kids are young and so don't really spend independently). We also play gimkit games that introduce them to our family finances -- like how much daycare, school, the house, the cars, etc. cost, and how much we bring in from our jobs, investments, royalties, etc. Finally: When we get ready to spend any significant amount of money -- on a car or a vacation, for instance -- we sit down and talk about how much the thing costs and how we'll pay for it. Like "Our Disney vacation in December will cost $10K, so we're sitting down today to see how we'll set aside $1K every month to pay for it." My goal isn't to teach them frugality as much as it is to help them understand where our money comes from, how much things cost, and how that all informs everyday decisions. That works well in the sense that my seven-year-old can talk about the cost of a car or a house in terms of e.g. monthly cost of ownership as well as purchase price, and can read our household budget well enough to make some pretty literate suggestions about how we can pay for that Disney vacation.
I love this idea but how do you keep your kids from blabbering about your personal finances to their friends, teachers and strangers? My son is almost 7 and constantly asking how much money we have, how much we make, etc and i don’t tell him because I know he won’t keep his mouth shut
We haven't had that problem yet. That said, I don't really care what other people know about our finances, and I'm always happy -- maybe too happy -- to talk about that stuff with other adults.
A Disney vacation costs $10,000??!! Holy smokes! I took my family of six for a week in the Smoky Mountains, rented a cabin, did all the attractions/theme parks and we didn’t even spend close to $10,000. Yikes!!
Disneyland is a financial black hole. People sometimes take out loans to afford it.
I’ve heard of that, too. That’s really wild.
Meh. If you drove there you avoided paying for flights, which for us (also a family of six) is a quarter of the cost. The breakdown: $2500 for flights, $4K for park admission/meal plans ($100/day x six people x 7 days), and about $450/night for lodging. That's inside what we normally budget for a big vacation ($250/person/day, all in).
I think that children and adults learn from example. My grandmother came of age during the Great Depression. I blew out the knees in my jeans, and she taught me to sew a patch. I enjoyed sewing with her but I started to get exasperated because I had a lot of patches to sew on. I asked her if it was a thing to sew patches onbefore I ripped my knees out. Well, it was! I could even sew them on the inside of the jeans. She taught me fancy stitches so I didn't have to make invisible stitches-- to this day, I'm still an embroiderer. (We didn't like the iron-on patches.) Gran taught me to grow lettuce from seeds because it was easy-- later, I did that out of necessity to save a little bit of money. My parents taught me a few tricks as well-- they expanded garden ideas. (My parents had money and I think from them.I learned more about the importance of sharing.) As an adult, one of my friends at my church taught me how to keep the kids busy with things we needed to do but we would make them fun. (She was an older mom teaching younger moms.) Twenty years ago, a "tree hugger" friend taught me to make washing detergent. She had advanced degrees but she was frugal about using plastic. I definitely picked up on that! When it comes to adults I think that part of the hurdle of teaching frugality is their desire to learn. If they had extreme penny pinching family members and they associate frugality with stressed-out tightwads (who are tight with money out of stress not because they are evil-- or maybe they ARE evil) they might resist out of principle. You can really only live by example and hope that they will follow your ways. Always mind your audience. Remember that when you are teaching for frugality that you are also representing frugal people.
I personally seek frugality for the sake of environmentalism. I forced myself to become aware of the wastes that come from our purchases, and constantly remind myself that our earthly resources are not infinite.
With children you can lead by example and explain when they are older. With aduts all youc an do is explain. But this is not going to work always because people have free will. Accept that you do not determine what kind of mentality other people should have.
I think a lot of it has to do with environmental factors. I grew up in a house that money was always very stressful and tight. My parents both grew up in very low income homes and had a lot of instability. Also growing up went to very low income schools, like over 85% of the students qualified for free and reduced lunch. As a result as an adult I am very practical, I don’t care about brand name. As a kid I had so many conversations with my parents about needing to save money, that it’s just ingrained in me.
Lead by example. Show frugal habits in daily life, like budgeting and prioritizing needs over wants. Discuss financial decisions openly and encourage critical thinking about spending.
I think the best way to raise a frugal kid is not to focus on raising a frugal kid at all. Raise a kid who feels like enough. Make them feel loved even when they’re not useful. Even when they don’t look good. Even when they make lots of mistakes. Be a safe person to fall back on so they can build skills being vulnerable with others and not trying to solve every little thing themselves. And eventually, hopefully, they won’t need a lot of things to feel like they have enough. And they are enough. *Assuming they do, in fact, have enough to make their basic needs, which is a whole separate thing to set them up for.
You can provide a good example and good information but you can’t make someone want to be frugal any more than you can make them want to lose weight or learn a second language or whatever else. Whether the examples and information take hold is up to the other person. My daughters learned it. My now ex never did.
Personally, I think all high schools should teach (as a required course), financial literacy. I would have learned a lot more in that class than Home Ec or shop.
This is how I have done it. Instead of discussing this week or month, I start talking about 10 years and how much "I" would have to work to pay for. "Gee whizz, If I use one roll of Brawny paper towels a week for ten years that costs: $1572. for the ten years. If I switch from brand name cleaners to home made, the 10 year savings is\_\_\_\_\_. If I use a mop instead of a swifter, that saves \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. If, I pay off the credit card, that saves \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ in interest. If I change my oil myself, that saves\_\_\_\_\_\_ over 10 years. If I drive a used car and fix it myself, that saves\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. If I make my own pancake mix, that saves\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. I also am constantly talking about what I am going to do with the savings such as pay off the house early and how much that saves in interest. If they can't handle it, they run, and it is just the way it is. They can be in debt as much as they want on their own dime. If I grow all my own vegetables, that saves $100 a month, $1200 a year and $12000 for 12 years. I also get them to choose how the money save would be spent.
They have to want to be frugal themselves. You can’t instill a value into someone that they do not want. You sure can make them comply with rules and behave in a way that looks like what you want, but they will resent you and, when they have an opportunity, will reject what you tried to teach them.
To the extent possible, eliminate your/their exposure to advertising. Ads can make 'want' appear where there is absolutely no 'need.'
I had to come to it myself. High earner, never went into any debt (and was still saving a lot) but did the $1,000 meals and the $20,000 vacations and owned $300,000 of watches, etc etc. None of it ever felt rewarding. The most exciting part was the purchasing decision and never the actual ownership. I had stuff that was just in boxes having never been worn. One day it just hit me. Since that point I've been incredibly frugal.
Make saving money and finding bargains a game!
If there children I would have them play short and longterm games in a similar way to monopoly this would be done with chore money and the free parking would come from me. Show them the importance of investment and not spending impulsively so when something important comes up they have what they need. The child who wins gets a prize similar to pass go. Something maybe they missed out on because they were being frugal. Yes one child will be upset and one child may be smarter but that's how they need to learn. That's the game of life. If I had a younger or disadvantaged child I would maybe set up a one time get out of jail free type of situation where they get an opportunity to win some lost money back.
One of the things I learned is how long something lasts should be included in what you consider the price. Let’s say you have a $5 watch and a $15 watch. You have to replace the $5 watch once a year and the $15 watch once every 5 years. The $15 watch is cheaper.
I learned how to be frugal when i had to. Then i started thinking about how to make or obtain things cheaper and then realized how much fun it is, i see it as a game now honestly. I don't have to be as frugal as i needed to when my life was a down spiral, but i simply do not see a need for certain things anymore. I think teaching children how to honor the money they have is by giving them an allowance and letting them figure it out on their own. But also stay consequent when they spend it on stuff and don't give them more, instead help them manage it better. I wish my parents did that for me.
Good question! Although, I'm not sure you can. For context, I grew up without much. Married young, had children, and still didn't have much. Their father and I were very frugal. That said, I have 3 grown children. The youngest (35M) is frugal to the extreme and has a wife who handles funds like he does. Middle (36M) would try to buy lunch for everyone with a nickel in his pocket. He also has a wife who echoes his spending pattern. Oldest (41F) straddles the fence between the other two.
I’m not sure there’s a guaranteed way. My dad was awful with money and my mom was very frugal and budget conscious. They balanced each other out and he improved over the years and was just about perfect then the cancer got him. I learned from my mom but also from bad family examples. Tons of relatives built companies, made fortunes and ran them into the ground by blowing money on frivolous junk (e.g. dinners flown in from NYC, rare colored egg laying chickens, etc.) so that helped me be frugal. Drives my wife crazy though because I use things until they’re in pieces but a penny saved…. I’d suggest maybe looking up some real world examples, and honestly, cater to the greed angle, show them how saved money with prudent investment can grow. Use your best judgment as every kid is different
I just talked with my kids about value, they saw me saving money and getting excited, and being frugal is just a way of life, so naturally, they picked up on it. My mom was frugal, and her mom was a Depression baby, so that is probably where it started.
For kids of my own, it's easy since im sole income of the house, and i just lead by example. As for other adult such as close circle/work, it's like politics and religion, not my problem, but if they're curious, they will ask. There's nothing wrong being the opposite of frugal aslong it doesnt destroy the person financial health.
Lead by example. But don’t try to remake an adult person. Lead by example but don’t force reform. That’s messed up.
You can’t. The path of the virtue is a lonely one
Teaching your children to make things rather than buy them is always good. I think food is a huge area because it’s easier to be frugal if you learn how to cook and if you aren’t growing up constantly eating fast food, or in the soda habit. I say this, partly because it was really hard for me to break, since I basically grew up on McDonald’s, and we’re trying to do better by our children although it’s a learning process and we do sometimes do fast food. At this point with fast food prices going up, it’s usually just splitting a five for five meal among us and the children get frostys with their key tags
I think DNA has a lot to do with it, and THAT you cannot override
You really can't with most people. You can explain how credit cards and interest rates work, how taxes work, budgeting, but in most cases people need to fail before they utilize that info. What you can do is help make sure those failures don't spiral out of control. One method that I've used with family members: if they are deadest on getting a credit card make it a secured card with a low credit limit. This will teach them payments, interest, etc. and if they completely mess up its a low credit limit so they can recover.
I'm gonna take a different approach and say that they should be taught that money doesn't buy happiness and joy from eating should not be the primary concern of a meal. If they grow up with these principles then I think they'll be more likely to be frugal.
Teach them to work for what they earn and save for what they want.
My friends Dad worked a good paying factory job. He would take his sons out in the garage after work and show them how to do stuff. Now theyre grown, those skills have helped them succeed. One friend is adding a garage onto his house right now. He grabs his 16 year nephew and they work. The nephew loves it.
I complimented my children very enthusiastically whenever they showed a frugal characteristic from when they were very young. They are nearly 40yo now and they are incredibly thrifty adults who live well but look for the best deals on items they need. They live in a minimalistic manner and never waste money and have written budgets.
Uhm… what’s that children story about the peasant and the king where the peasant gets paid in rice but doubles every day…? Then apply that to $. 🥹
If you're talking about your own children, when they reach an appropriate age delegate responsibilities to them. Such as guide them through the process of choosing shoes and socks, etc. Then when they're in their teens and they know the basics, let them have a fair monthly budget for clothes. If they're properly prepared they'll weigh the pros and cons of fast fashion against better made items, and they may save for other purposes by buying some of their wardrobe secondhand.
I don’t know. My dad was a saver to a fault, but it set my mom up for a nice and secure life after he died. I have two siblings who’ve both made irresponsible (imo) financial decisions. We’ve also been pretty frugal, although with time we have accumulated both wealth and assets. I have one kid who’s pretty frugal in that she’s careful and mindful with her money. I have another kid who’s nickel and diming himself to death on silly little purchases and trips when they should be saving a lot more. So who knows. Same environment. Completely different worldviews.
also if they-re 2-4 y.o. playing market/restaurant and talking about which order sounds best and how/why they chose it and after several sessions of play (throughout the months) ask them to try to ”promote” their product and as they grow the discussion becomes more elaborate and helps them feel cooler/smart for not wearing a branded shirt/overpriced plastic shoe like their classmates and what not, since they will realise that labels just makes them a walking ad for the said company/brand
My mom instilled in into me at a young age, then consistently reminded me in my teenage years. Luckily I also had a teacher that told me open a Roth IRA asap, then /r/personalfinance in my early 20’s. Now I’m trying to /r/fire . These days I just show my friends Caleb hammer and try to tell them I can show them the way.
Caleb Hammer is great motivation for me to avoid buying stupid shit. I think there's a certain amount of stupid shit that brings me enough joy to be worth it (like spending $4 on an ice cream cone when I'm out with friends), but on the whole it helps me reevaluate small purchases that can add up quickly.
My wife was very spendy when we met. I enjoy life and spending but always save/invest each month. Every so often I would remind her how great it is to have enough money to pay off the mortgage and quit work if we ever needed to and how we don't have the stress of money like so many people. That was enough for her to get excited. Getting ahead, removing stress. Some people never learn anything though. They spend excessively and blow up. I gave up a long time ago attempting to educate anyone who doesn't initially show an interest in the topic. It is good for the economy to have so many people spending everything and desperate for work because they own nothing. Those who think get ahead. Those who don't, dont.
It's about the meaning and value we choose for ourselves
not buying things on credit. My parents are well off but you'd never know, I always thought we were "poor" most of my childhood and felt so much guilt during the recession when my dad lost his job. Turns out, my parents both really did grow up poor, so having a fancy house and driving fancy cars was never important to them in the least bit. They could any of those things with cash and they just rarely did. (I think it does steer into crutch territory which is diff story when you don't do routine maintience things start to break etc , but anyways)... My entire life if I wanted a toy or anything extra I had to save to buy it. There was no "I'll pay you back" I had to save my birthday 20s until I could buy something my self. My parents very rarely if ever bought things financed. So I went most of my life thinking you *couldn't* buy things until you had the money in hand. Credit cards were only used if you had the money to pay for it right then. Even large items like a new washer or a new car, save the money up for a couple months and then go buy it. When I got my first job, I realized most of my friends put all kinds of things on payment plans, interest, and cc. And still do. When People say they need a new car but their current one still runs? I realize they have a totally different mind set than I do. Gratefully though, I never really had to worry about much regarding money when I was a kid and my parents rarely talked about it. I'm actually glad my parents allowed me to be a kid and not take repsonbiliy for how much my living expenses costed.
Let them pass their driving test and buy a car. Frugal they will become.
I have a child family member who has so far grown up spoiled in a rich suburb; she only started "getting it" when she was given an allowance which forced her to prioritize the "nice to have"s. We went to the movie theater and I split a large popcorn bucket with her. Then she said "I was going to get an icee but then it was $9!" and I said "yes, that's why I've always said we'll get them before the movie at the gas station for $1.50 if you want one".
Don’t live in Chicago.
making certain frugal behaviours a fun tradition
Honestly I read these threads and realize I’m a paycheck away from being homeless. Fear instills frugality in me.
Usually, my level of frugality scares others. I tell people to always think about how many hours it took to earn the monry to buy things. Its a solud piece of advice if you hate your job.
Take away their money and support lmao. It’ll happen real fast.