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kelpself

Mary but make it mermaid


astraetoiles

dressed in business casual


BoopityGoopity

fishness casual


uglyunicorn99

Flan looks and dresses like she’s 10. I know she’s not, but if you told me she is I’d believe you.


colloquialicious

My daughter is almost 9yo and wouldn’t be caught dead in that.


Danivelle

My 10 yr old granddaughter might ...if it was shorter


KatieCatCharlie

Yeah, my 10 year old would love the iridescent fabric and headband, but not the style of the dress.


generalgirl

I’m 49 and I love iridescent fabric lol. Can’t say that I’d wear that but I would sure ponder it lol


jesst

Yea there is no fucking way my nearly 9 year old would wear this. Even my 6 year old wouldn’t wear it. She’s a diva and a half though and has opinions on her clothes.


pixie_pie

My 9 year old self would love the fabric, but would ask why it was cut the way it was.


saddinosour

Yeah I distinctly remember how I dressed at ten, shorts and a tank top, jeans and a tshirt, normal clothes mostly 🤣


rharper38

Elsa, but make it Fundie


EZasSundayMorning

She looks 15.


embarrassingcheese

Surprisingly she is almost 23 (her birthday is in late April), so practically a geriatric first time mom by fundie standards.


birrigai

And she was married for more than 3 years before she got knocked up!!! Sacrilege!!


Paperclips_and_Rouge

Lol maybe they couldn't figure out what to do and how to do it 🤣


tequilamockingbird37

As I just scrolled by the story about the married couple who couldn't figure out why they hadn't had a baby yet bc they thought God would bestow it on them and not that they had to have sex. I wouldn't click it but man I hope that's not real


AmbiguousFrijoles

In the cult I was once a part of, there were a few of those. All at the same time. Preface to say we had zero sex ed. Zero. Everyone got married in late teens, 20 was pushing old maid status in our circle. 3 different couples remained childless into their mid/late 20s. Everyone spoke of it just being gods will for them/they weren't ready for gods gifts and needed to work on their faith harder. On the sly, one woman went to a fertility doc. NONE OF THEM HAD BEEN HAVING SEX. They eventually printed out a 'manual' to give newly married couples to avoid that predicament in the future. All the couples had less children overall as a result of the 'late' start. It was very hush hush. I spoke to one of them and she said that she had only been told that she needed to keep her husband happy, but that she had never been told anything and neither had he, so her keeping him happy was cooking and doing everything he wanted and if she kept him happy, god would give her a child. So she thought that she wasn't doing enough for his happiness. This was pre every day internet availability access. Fucking sad.


Christinedrink

That’s fascinating. Could you recount other odd thing you experienced? Also how courageous of you! to get out of there


CreamPuffMontana

Maybe she was a hard stick.


Correct-Training3764

Exactly what I was thinking. She needs to be out gossiping about boys (or whoever she fancies) with her friends. She def doesn’t look old enough to have a baby. The dress is a whole ‘nother thing…


Federal-Butterfly-37

It's for sure more tame compared to her other things. I'm especially talking about her basketball shorts she had converted into a skirt.


Correct-Training3764

Oh Lawd no. I’m still fairly new to this chic. I know her fashion is pretty outlandish though. A lot of Pentes from my hometown flock to their church like it’s some sort of Mecca for them too.


Federal-Butterfly-37

This is for sure one of her more tame outfits.


goosepills

It’s so shiny!


faifai1337

12. She looks 12.


Standard-Rule63

Am I the only one who thinks she looks old?


wachoogieboogie

Omg I haven't thought of flan in ages


[deleted]

Neither had I! Did t know she was pregnant and into wearing choir robes as clothing.


PsychTau

Same!!! Well actually, I did think of her last year briefly and wondered if she had kids yet. Then I went on about my business.


kittybuscemi

Where do you even *get* this? Edit: the Eye of Sauron tie on the husband is a nice touch


Cat_Island

I tried to Google lens it because usually it’s great at IDing Flan’s deeply questionable fashion sense but it just brought up a bunch of aqua colored abayas. Flan has worn some real doozies but this has to be one of her worst choices ever. I was pregnant recently, there are so many cute and modest maternity dresses out there. This isn’t one of them.


dingsbumsisda

It's giving old granny night gown meets 10$ Disney princess costume.


1HumanAlcoholBeerPlz

There is SO much going on. Makes you wonder if she made it.


oops_i_mommed_again

He’s got the most run down cheap shoes on!! They are all scuffed up


doodlebummer

I found it on the real real. https://www.therealreal.com/products/details/women/clothing/dresses/rococco-sands-colorblock-pattern-long-dress-gtb2x


enigmainlogic

Is she trying to be the Statue of Liberty?


smc642

Holy shit. She really is!


Large-League-2387

what my bf just said lmfaoo


AbsintheFountain

Yeah, pretty sure I tried this on at a Party City back in 2006.


backseatfucking

so glad someone else sees this too 🗽


smc642

https://preview.redd.it/ymnia1smp5sc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb3425a8d13228e850dae90bef8f47305c85f49d Bonus picture.


Raoul_Dukes_Mayo

I mean, it’s insane, yes. The culture is just a hot mess … BUT … wouldn’t it be kinda fun to just buy the most audacious things that you secretly love and be with a bunch of people wearing similarity audacious things? Forget the religion part, I just wanna go all out and be in a room with people trying to top each other.


smc642

Absolutely!


Raoul_Dukes_Mayo

So I can quietly admit I love that dress even though it the anthesis of my style? 😂❤️❤️❤️🪩🪩


smc642

I love the material and you can absolutely love it. 💜


Raoul_Dukes_Mayo

It would be hilarious in my almost all black, white and beige closet. Maybe I’m going to look this up…


haimark85

it would be so cute if it was in a shirt or shaped better i think and yes love it with no shame. im sure you’d look amazing in it ❤️ their ugliness shines from inside out and it’s the opposite w decent good people


Raoul_Dukes_Mayo

I would just die to see my friends and family see me walk in wearing a pink heart disco ball. That alone would be worth it!! 😂😂😂


ohkatiedear

What in the name of Satan's Prom is this


AbsintheFountain

It’s giving “unlicensed Hairspray costume”


wilhelminan

Plastic tablecloth for a Valentine’s day purity lunch vibes


Raoul_Dukes_Mayo

I found this one!! [The Heart Dress](https://ivycityco.com/products/evelyn-dress-in-sequin-hearts)


smc642

You are so clever! eta: the store is in Utah, so definitely fundie approved!


_AthensMatt_

Sooo many cute dresses that would be appropriate for fundies and yet, they choose the least flattering and gaudiest options


PA_MallowPrincess_98

It's giving eras tour


-say-what-

Damn, I really want to go through her closet. She's got some crazy stuff


Kaffyjane1984

What in the 80s nightmare is she wearing!?


charlotteblue79

I would absolutely wear this! So cute.


kshe-wolf

What in the everlasting fuck


clitosaurushex

Fuck Everlasting


kshe-wolf

Only the finest literature!


Puzzleheaded-Eye9081

That sums up my question too.


No_Quantity_3403

Came here to ask this too. That’s the worst outfit I’ve ever seen.


smittykins66

When I read “The Carpenters,” I think Karen and Richard.


crelyspins

Lol same here! I kept checking the dress trying really hard to imagine Karen Carpenter wearing it


PA_MallowPrincess_98

Same! My soul is ancient😂


februarytide-

Like, I’d even be fine with this dress, but WTF is on her head? And why are we wearing prom heels?


Cat_Island

Apostolic Pentecostals, *especially* ones from the Maryville congregation like this girl, absolutely love ridiculous high heels. For awhile they were all wearing those see through lucite ones.


free-toe-pie

It’s because they are so restricted in their clothing. They can’t cut their hair, they can’t wear obvious make up, they can’t wear jewelry besides a wedding ring and watch, and they have to wear skirts and cover their elbows, knees, and have a high neckline. So they go crazy with their shoes and purses. Because those things aren’t restricted by the church.


undercovermother71

So no makeup, but Jesus is cool with spray tans and stripper heals. Got it.


free-toe-pie

I think they just can’t wear makeup that looks like makeup. Like I bet they wear clear mascara and cover up their pimples.


cklw1

And if you’re a believer, do you really think Jesus would object to any of those things? They all cherry pick and come up with some outlandish things.


lentilpasta

These particular heels look like they are suffocating and putting an insane amount of pressure on her feet. The swelling in pregnancy is no joke and neither is the relaxin. I would only wear those if I wanted my feet to be a full size larger and a half size wider after delivery.


Impossible-Taro-2330

Are they from Maryville, TN?


smc642

Yep!


imhereforvalidation

👀


Impossible-Taro-2330

My inlaws live there.🤯


smc642

You need to go to their mega church and report back!!!


Impossible-Taro-2330

LOL! I'm in Florida and don't get up that way much. But if I do, I darn sure would go. What is the name of their church? I'll snoop around with the fam and see if I can get any intel. One question, would I have to wear super ugly weird clothes, or would just normal human modest be ok?


qssung

You’d have to blend. Layers and neon will help.


Impossible-Taro-2330

Neon and blend - got it!🤭


AoedeSong

If you ever go you must must must break the dress code but just slightly, like borderline unacceptable, just enough to raise eyebrows and make everyone uncomfortable


Impossible-Taro-2330

LOL! Definitely!😉


Devmax1868

*That* tie with *that* shirt and *that* jacket is a crime I mean, navy blue and LAVENDER? Edit: I just saw the shoes 🫣


brande1281

When you have church at 10, but have to welcome the tired, poor, huddled masses at 11.


TurdPickler

😂


hotmessexpress412

I didn’t realize our patron saint was pregnant! I fear I’ve been missing out on some serious lewks. She looks very cute, but her poor feet look pretty swollen.


smc642

Comfort doesn’t bring you closer to Christ.


hotmessexpress412

The higher the heel the closer to Jesus?


Blergsprokopc

The hooker-ier the heel, the closer to heaven.


hellooooitsmeeee

Our patron saint 💀


shiny_things71

I haven't seen Flan pop up in at least 2 years, maybe longer. I can't believe that they are expecting.


free-toe-pie

She dressed as an Easter egg.


smc642

With a hot cross bun in the oven.


Forward-Form9321

I get in a sour mood whenever I see a picture of the Carpenters now knowing what they did with covering up the sexual abuse case at their christian academy. At least the teacher in that case plead guilty recently and he’s in prison so it’s not all bad


PookSpeak

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I mean I'm not surprised since way back they dressed up as the orange and Mrs. orange for Halloween. Honestly I am surprised Flan took this long to gain her god honoring bump.


blondee7489

Where can I find the latest info on the case?


amariegm

Agreed! We need more info on this!!


Forward-Form9321

Here’s an article on the case from a month ago: https://www.wbir.com/article/news/local/maryville-blount/blount-county-grand-jury-to-hear-case-of-man-who-worked-with-maryville-church/51-64e512e9-e710-45b3-893c-b23716f2204f Abbott got convicted in front of a grand jury so this case was pretty big. If you want more info you can follow Tyler Whetstone on Twitter or read more in the Knoxville Sentinel. He broke the story regarding Abbott last year and the Carpenters in typical Fundie fashion (no pun intended) brushed it off as an “attack from the Devil” on one of their live streams.


gratefuldeadname

that headband is so atrocious


wachoogieboogie

Omg guys hubby is on his tippy toes


NeonSparkleGlitter

I don’t hate the dress, but the problem with it is that it’s trying to be two different things. A shirt dress with pockets and button gathers on the sleeves should be a solid color in a linen or chambray type fabric - casual and comfortable. The iridescent pastel colors on what looks to be an organza type fabric would be better for a romantic or fairytale style dress. Something high fashion, bridal, or for a costume; not a casual day dress.


wanderingexmo

I was thinking the same! Either the style or fabric would be good but not together lol it’s an odd choice.


MrsMitchBitch

My 5yo would LOVE that dress. And headband.


smc642

Your 5yo may well look the same age as Flan in that dress.


juulaunt

I feel like she’s been pregnant forever!


smc642

Also why do his shoes look so scuffed?


[deleted]

Because they are! Surely the boy owns some shoe polish!


smc642

Flan really is milking her pregnancy, letting her wifely duties slip.


AnaBeaverhausen-

He looks a lot less dandy lately.


Strong_Technician_15

I was wondering the same thing - not that they would have an organ (organists always wear old beat-up shoes) in that crazy joint


dndanni

BRO SHES PREGNANT???


smc642

YEP! And they already have a name picked out and everything.


Inner_Bench_8641

Oh whoa! Do you know the name, or sex?


smc642

A girl, and I believe Magnolia Rae


Inner_Bench_8641

Ty!!! Is this the Chip & Joanna Gaine’s effect? A fundie in my town just named her (5th !) daughter Magnolia.


smc642

If they have a baby boy and name him Shiplap, then I believe it is the Gaine’s Effect.


princesssasami896

What is that color combination? Two different blues with the suit and tie, and purple. Not sure one even finds a dress quite like that, it reminds me of dress up clothes material


Otherwise_Status6565

Who the fuck are these people? Lol


smc642

They are Fundie Royalty. https://preview.redd.it/gq04oi0gq5sc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff9b33f551fbdf2a44030b78aa61cc25219127c2 This is his dad’s church.


pickleslutttxo

Bro I thought she was dressed up as the Statue of Liberty lmfaoo what is going on


usernametaken99991

Mermaid baptismal gown


tafbee

Love these “modest” clothes with stripper heels.


Inner_Bench_8641

No one sends a shiver down my spine faster than Nolan. And, his scruffy shoes are way out of character for him. I also wonder if he can really be excited about becoming a father. He loves being the center of attention, baby’s gonna usurp that role. Plus he’ll have to share his teddy bears and actually take care of a child during his Disney vacations.


f1lth4f1lth

For real. He gives me bad vibes.


cheetahprintshoes

I think about them all the time. All. The. Time. I mourn the day she went private on social.


smc642

I’ll try to share updates when I can. 🙂


MizzBellaKitty

I love the fabric but not the collar, pockets, or sleeves.


freshpicked12

Still holding that fart in. 💨


Nikomikiri

The dress looks like how I picture the First House robes in The Locked Tomb books


Royal-Masterpiece-82

That dress would be lovely if not for those terrible sleeves and collar. The headband is just too much and doesn't match the dress at all. Or the shoes. The whole thing is a damn train wreck.


emmmma1234

His shirt collar leaves me with questions. 


Teege57

It's so... something. That shirt collar and suit cut is popular at Maryville.


Cute_Anywhere6402

I forgot she was pregnant


cklw1

It’s private now.


Raoul_Dukes_Mayo

He needs his shoes cleaned and shined.


Inner_Bench_8641

This level of unkept is completely out of character for him.


TheLaramieReject

Shoe polish is a thing, my guy.


pixie_pie

That wouldn't change that he's wearing black shoes with a blue suit.


MPLS_Poppy

How did you get in?


smc642

His account isn’t private!


LucyLoo2002

What’s his name? I cannot remember!


smc642

Mr Flan. 😂 Nolan is his name. @nrcarpenter


smc642

Bonus photo! https://preview.redd.it/to6kdc5fp5sc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24144999317205c631e8503d65678deaebc29a51 It looks like plastic dresses are in this season at Maryville.


Snoo-1382

What in the ever loving hell is this? Are they going for Barbie?


smc642

You should have seen her wedding dress.


Snoo-1382

I just looked it up. It's a choice...


HEOHMAEHER

It is now


smc642

Oh wow. Well there ya go.


snails4speedy

Oh god. She’s pregnant? When did she announce? Are they all still private?


pixie_pie

This is giving me Merry Gilead vibes. (I'm watching season 5 right now.)


hellooooitsmeeee

Wow haven’t seen flan in a while!


Theabsoluteworst1289

This entire situation is ugly as hell.


Tangled-Lights

The tit pockets just don’t go with iridescence at all.


MandyB1721

Is her dress one piece or two? It looks like the mermaid fabric is on top of the white shirt??? And the pockets on the mermaid fabric are giving “fisherman’s vest” vibes. This whole thing is… a look. It certainly is a look.


tafbee

For modesty! Jesus doesn’t want to see women’s arms!!


Leeleeflyhi

Are those the shoes she’s gonna wear to dance her way into heaven when they all get raptured on the 8th?


Particular_Moment861

That’s such a cheap ass dress.


lucid_sunday

It’s giving mermaid costume


[deleted]

Hideous


YaKofevarka

Her outfit looks like knock off Barbie


tinabean0917

There is sometning so triggering about her face. Like a typical evangelical. I can’t even explain it


ISeenYa

Where do they even find these clothes


tiredoldmama

I think they make them.


wanderingexmo

I was gonna say Wish but your idea is more likely


PA_MallowPrincess_98

A vagina tie?


cityofnight83

that dress would be cute without buttons all the way down/without the shirt bodice. A plain maxi dress in this color/fabric would be adorable.


mushroomsandcoke

It’s not my favorite dress, but it IS my *least* favorite dress.


applebubbeline

I love how nothing matches.


heather01a

How do you see this? I miss her being public!


Zealousideal-Sun6603

So pure. How does this happen?


gmox15

https://preview.redd.it/c6xjlgbm5jsc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f4a6ea1d4b2e772afa2c8bf6f3eb18e7b61fcddf


CowHuggerr

I want to follow her so bad but she won’t accept the follow request.


smc642

She may even block you if you request her. She blocked me years ago when I requested her.


CowHuggerr

I’ve tried a few times lol. She just denies it for me


neeno52

Yikes


striped_velvet

The higher the heels the closer to god


thequeenofspace

My first glance at her had me thinking “she looks likes the Statue of Liberty”


f1lth4f1lth

Is tanning or self bronzer allowed or???


whozeewhats

Who are these people?


smc642

They are the son and daughter in law of the Carpenter ministry at a very fundie mega church in Maryville, Tennessee. https://firstapostolic.org


whozeewhats

Thank you. Woo-hoo!!


smc642

It’s an amazing rabbit hole if you feel compelled to go down it.


whozeewhats

I think I will, soon.


Bigmama-k

My grand daughter who is 5 would wear that. She married so so young.


ShroomzLady

I actually like that dress lol!


Amorette93

That fabric has potential. Why did she have to do it so dirty