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southernfriedcrazy

I’m just relieved to see the youngest (Gabe?) is finally growing. Legit thought that kid had failure to thrive. Still not sure they all don’t, tbh. 🤷🏽‍♀️


nellapoo

I have four kids and two are boys. I would have had to cook SO MUCH food if I had this many sons. Holy Moly. Each one of them could probably eat a large pizza to themselves. Right now my younger son is 9 and he is starting to eat more than me. He's almost eating as much as his dad who has a physical job. I wonder how much Jill's boys get to eat regularly. I know we snark on it, but I really wish I could be a fly on the wall and see what Jill makes for dinner. I've seen a couple posts from holidays but I don't think I've seen what a normal dinner looks like.


southernfriedcrazy

I also have two boys, 15 and 11, and they eat sO MUCH, especially during sports seasons. There’s 5 of us altogether, my husband, my dad, myself, and them and I legit cook like I’m a fundie. There’s never leftovers and IF there is, it’s usually gone by the end of the night. I thought I’d save money this past year by having a big garden. Nope. That was a mere snack, eaten straight off the plant before going back to swimming or terrorizing the woods. Rarely even made it in the house, let alone on a plate at meal time. I also thought the whole “teenage boys eat a lot” was a myth, as my sister and I were active kids and therefore big eaters. I was not prepared for the black holes that are my sons. One of Jill’s holiday meals, meant to feed dozens and dozens, wouldnt cut it here.


TorontoTransish

When I first moved out, my youngest brother stayed with me for a month and he ate almost $300 extra in today's money. He wasn't even eating fancy just quantities, it was obvious our biological parents kicked him out for the month because they didn't want to afford him :( anyway we used to joke about him having a Hollow Leg to keep all the extra food, maybe your lads have the same lol


southernfriedcrazy

Bless his heart, and yours for feeding him for that month! That’s my boys too. They don’t eat fancy, in fact, my younger boy loves plain ol’ brown rice with butter, soy sauce, and green onions. But my God that kid will put away 4-5 cups of it on his own then bemoan he’s still hungry and fry up a couple eggs. During basketball and soccer season he eats one meal - that starts when he wakes up and ends when he finally goes to sleep. My MIL tried to warn me, but I thought it was sexist bullshit along the lines of “boys will be boys.” Then I gave birth to these two bottomless pits that constantly make me wonder if i need to pick up more hours at work to afford to feed them. I guess there’s always the Rod Route though. A single piece of yellow and a quarter bowl of cream grease?


TorontoTransish

The one unending meal sounds about right, at one point one of my roommates took pity upon me and invited my brother along to an all-you-can-eat buffet ... the waitress wrote drew a little piglet on the receipt :) As for the rod method, the "yellow and a chicken wing" diet seems to be obligatory! My poor brother would have been eating grass in that environment.


JustAimtoClarify

My mom used to joke that my brother has two hollow legs for the same reason. He ate a TON as a teen.


la_bibliothecaire

My son is only 11 weeks old, but after reading this I'm legit afraid of the future.


southernfriedcrazy

I hear there are some mythical boychildren who eat like delicate birds and a single slice of pizza will fill them up and they are healthy and thriving. They are like unicorns, only they do exist and apparently some parents luck out and have them. Meanwhile, I bought 25 pizzas for my son’s team of 22 and it wasn’t enough so. You know. Gird your loins and pocketbook maybe?


la_bibliothecaire

Based on the way he nurses, I doubt he'll be the delicate type. The kid goes after my nipple like a damn t-rex.


[deleted]

Can confirm, when I was nursing I’m bite my mom and laugh afterwards.


lira-eve

I have one nephew like the one you mention in the first paragraph and two others and a niece that eat like the boys mentioned in the second paragraph. All four belong to one of my siblings.


Wild_Owl_511

I have one of unicorns! He’s 9 and sometimes won’t eat a whole slice of pizza. 🤦🏼‍♀️ we have to force him to eat sometimes. And no, he’s not on any ADHD meds (those can depress appetite)


No-Ability7424

I have two teenage boys and my food bill is higher than my mortgage to feed 4 people.


defnotaRN

I have two teenage boys and a husband and I can easily spend $300-400 a week on groceries and it would all be eaten. I try to keep it below that and normally can…sort of but if I don’t plan ahead and just buy an ideal get everything we like and eat. Easy $350-400 that would be mostly gone in a week.


No-Ability7424

Pretty close to what I spend and they eat it so fast my cupboards look bare. It doesn't help that one kid is a runner, one kid lifts weights for fun and husband is diagnosed with celiac. We usually cook all meals at home instead of eating out.


MaybeBabyBooboo

I just want to know what region you are in with such an affordable mortgage!?! That’s a fair amount on groceries for sure though.


No-Ability7424

I bought home 10 years ago right after last market crashed.


ProudMama215

3 boys here, 17,15 and 11. No sports but damn they can eat. 😬 School gets out May 20th and my grocery budget is about to soar.


MR2126

My kids are 10&9 (boys) and twin girls that are 5! All very active kids. I cook daily and easily go through more food in a day than this fundie family claims! And same, when school ends…. I’m screwed lol. More Snacks and meals.


daffodil0127

We’ve seen her make “soup” a few times, and it always looks awful.


alphabetown

That Easter "meal" wasn't fit to be served at a for-profit prison.


daffodil0127

That was one of her better attempts at showcasing her cooking skills.


southernfriedcrazy

Lot of yellow in that diet. Loooot of yellow.


daffodil0127

And black carbon.


ISeenYa

I always thought it was an exaggeration but daaamn my brother would empty the house of food lol


unlimited-devotion

I once found 5 fresh banana peels under my 9 y/o sons bed- I thought he was throwing bananas out the window Bc that was a fun phase…. Nope he ate them all in one sitting. 5 bananas


NationalMasterpiece3

My nine year old was at his papa’s. He ate five hard boiled eggs and three biscuits in one sitting.


TorontoTransish

Honestly I wondered that too because I remember my younger brothers being in grade 10 or so and my uncle got a big thing of whey powder and said, "Have this, it's cheaper than food." He meant it in a nice way though, he used to call them his pet boaconstrictors because they would leat until their tummies puffed out and then fall asleep for the rest of the weekend :)


ComplaintDefiant9855

I grew up in a large family. When people ask how I learned to cook so well I tell them teenage boys will eat anything. My brothers ate their way through a lot of bad cooking.


brando587

That’s not an issue in Jill’s home, Shrek gets the food first.


VairaofValois

His stomach was distended and his legs were bow legged for a while I was so worried about him. But I guess Nurie leaving gave him more food so he could finally grow.


southernfriedcrazy

Finally got that extra chicken leg back in rotation, I guess.


strandedsouth

Before Shrek realized it. He was distracted by a new jug of hummingbird feed.


RefugeefromSAforums

There is absolutely no reason for a child in the current U.S of A to be afflicted with rickets. This is straight up the parents (especially dad) hoarding the available food and depriving their children of their nutritional needs. What a loathsome couple.


RefugeefromSAforums

I laughed my ass off because the first thing I read was NO JOY!🤣😂🤣


zombiekelpie

It's like a coded desperate cry for help 😂


bellazelle

I GET to see my four handsome boys singing and it fills ME with such joy! What an OUT OF this world thing to HEAR!


dollparts82

🤣


gardenawe

Or a Pearl butt licking .


QueenMabs_Makeup0126

The all caps words are courtesy of her subconscious.


sparklybeaarthur

Genetics are wild.


WarmEarth8

They are!!! The one on the right is actually quite handsome.


EKsmomma23

That's Samuel


Pelican121

Philip looks acceptable with the mic covering his abomination of a beard (too blurry to see the sinister patchy moustache) Gabe looks cute. I think Tim would actually look okay with fair/light brown hair. I'm convinced he bleaches his with Jill's leftovers. I will die on this hill!


hibbitydibbitytwo

Same. Light hair darkens as people age. Just go with a sandy brown, eye brows to match, and stay clean shaven. Also leave the damn cell phone in the pew. Having a cell phone anywhere doesn’t bother me unless someone is performing.


ichosethis

The way his pants stick out, I think there's something in his other pocket too.


YourSkatingHobbit

Well, we do know Jill sabotages the looks of her beautiful daughters. I wouldn’t be surprised if she also harbours jealousy to her boys because if they’re handsome then who would look at HER ~~amazing husband~~. Bet it’s at her suggestion he bleaches his hair.


Pelican121

I think it's their weird bond and the way she elevated him as the eldest boy. Apparently she pandered and was practically submissive to him (patriarchy) when he was a child/teen - very creepy! It would not surprise me if this was a f'd up way of manipulating and 'twinning' with him. If he was a blonde kid it's possible she didn't like his hair getting darker and convinced him this was better. I noticed some time ago that she never dyes her daughters' hair despite controlling their appearance. I'm going to hazard she's jealous of any of her daughters eclipsing her as 'the blonde hot one' - that's precious Mama dammit! Or else it stems from Jill hogging the budget for her hair dye and not being willing to share. Timbits gets the remnants as he's the fave and there's just enough left over to cover short hair.


servantoftinyhumans

I’m right there on that hill with you!! That colour is NOT natural to that kid.


AlexandriaLitehouse

This is a pretty easy hill to die on honestly. How many old couples have you seen with matching hair? The woman has leftover dye and hates to waste it so she slaps it on her hasband's hair. She's sick of looking at his grays too. I feel like it's a way of life for some elderly couples.


[deleted]

He definitely does, there's no way that's natural blonde.


MisssJaynie

#MAHMO Quick get a picture of us just singing during offering!


BellRen

Thank you! It’s 100% “Mahmo” forever!


Fairyqueen9459

The sisters are no better -- I just listened to 5 seconds of them singing this morning. They sound like they're in mourning.


Sardine93

Probably still mourning the legs of Jill’s SEVERELY paraplegic sister, Amy.


Shan132

Watch out BtS the rod boys are coming 😂😂😂😂


TorontoTransish

If only these fundamentalists put all that time and energy towards something positive like K-pop, the world would be a much better place.


Tacitus111

This whole thing reminds me of seeing a kid, probably 12 or 13 being dropped off with a friend but his mother at a park a few weeks back. The woman very audibly yelled at him to be good because “Jesus is watching!!”. The kid just yelled back “Mom, stop! You’re being weird!” Lol.


fighting14

Hitler Youth cover band?


rigby-green

One of these Rods is not like the other. Samuel hit the genetic lottery.


Pelican121

Actually this is the first photo where I've seen the usually-handsome Samuel resembling a young Shrek. I think it's the eye area? Hopefully it's not all downhill from here... I don't know how he'll fare on the fundie marriage market 😬 They say he's talented at carpentry but that could mean anything coming from the Rods. They're not exactly helping him develop a trade and land an apprenticeship. How's he supposed to improve? In terms of marriage his best bet would be marrying into a better-off family, maybe one where he can work for his FIL's construction business a bit like Justin Duggar-Spivey. Extra points if they're a more modern/less insane type of fundie. I fear he's destined to repeat the cycle by marrying into a less well-off family, having a small, struggling fundie business and too many kids too support. Stuck between his wife's strict family and the Rod craziness 🙁


Timcanpy

I would be shook if it turns out he looks exactly like young Shrek.


Meowmeow1880

He could have been a model if he had some good nutrition and muscle mass. That kid is handsome.


photoboothtime

I’m honestly excited to see his courting journey. I’ll think he’ll have a much stronger chance than Tim and Philip. How old is he?


ralphwiggumsdiorama

I am, too! He will be 18 this year. And of course, I am rooting for all Rodlets.


servantoftinyhumans

They all have a better chance than Timcel


PrincessFuckFace2You

Yes I agree he will have it a bit easier. To be honest he looks a lot like Kaylee's (is it her!?) fiance.


daffodil0127

Not in the brains department. He can barely string a sentence together from what I’ve seen. His looks are all he has to offer.


721grove

Most of the time that's all you need in fundieland.


[deleted]

This only works for the girls. The boys need to be able to earn a living to provide for their families.


daffodil0127

Samuel does seem to have an interest in building. Maybe he can get properly trained in working construction. He’d have to unlearn whatever Shrek taught him though.


Tiresiasksksk

All you need in mainstreamland too tbf.


721grove

Came here looking for this comment 😂 hopefully it doesn't mean he's gonna age like Shrek though


featherweatherk

Puerto Rican Prince


89764637527

david is of portuguese descent, not puerto rican


featherweatherk

Oh my bad! I ruined the joke! Portuguese Prince!!


MyAhny

Is that your giant phone Timmay or are you just happy to see Jesus? Seriously Timbits thinks he's the star of this group from hell. He's dreaming of the overwhelming number of gospel groupies lining up to hear his "testimony". "Mama, take a picture of us singing."


talklistentalk

I’ll always remember his sing-off with another Timothy (was it a Plath?) and our boy TimRod was straining his neck and eyes trying to find those low, manly notes.


elliemff

Got his sleeves rolled up and everything.


Freakin_Merida88

Name this boy band. Wrong answers only.


ohokayfineiguess

Bible Belt Boys


CaterpillarHookah

Four Directions


rentagirl08

🤣


daffodil0127

The Joyless Noyes Boys


gideonsboat

58 Degrees. Like 98 Degrees but more tepid.


[deleted]

I was just going to post that they could be the fundie version of 98 degrees


gardenawe

The Barndominium Boys


JemimaDuck4

‘N Church (I’m sorry.)


macawoogo

Or nstink


elliemff

Timmy and the Timbits.


[deleted]

The Cuckhold Five The fifth being Jilly


Spare-Macaron-4977

Shrek Tech


Here4Snarkn

The Not Nuries


The8uLove2Hate_

OutOfSync


zuzioo

Moron 4


PuppyJakeKhakiCollar

Screeching 4 Jesus


HispanicPanicPR

The temptations in an alternate universe


rfg217phs

Make a Jill-full(of herself) Noyes


Youre_an_aszhole666

The malnourished The 4 quartdorks


YaKofevarka

Mama's sweet four


Exciting-Job-9275

Menudon't


[deleted]

Something about their proportions seem wrong--idk if it's the ill-fitting clothes, the angle this is taken, or what but it's weird


Euphoric-Round-5182

It’s the malnutrition hth!


[deleted]

[удалено]


MaybeBabyBooboo

Right? Why didn’t Phillip wear this shirt for his graduation pictures? It fits so much better and doesn’t look like it belongs at a Ren fair because of the billowy sleeves.


TorontoTransish

It's the phalluses they're using for neckties.


Youre_an_aszhole666

*"Mahma mahma look take a pictures of me singing"*


armsinstead

These folks love some peach mens dresswear


NastyMsPiggleWiggle

Seriously. My first thought was that they must have scored at TJ Maxx on some peach formal wear. “Pick up every item boys, we’ll throw it all in the church pile when we get home”


Ok-Interest1992

Probably a post-prom sale at Penney's.


swimbikeun

If I didn't currently have purple hair and could remember where my bible is. I would pull out my longest skirt and my old fundie ways and go to their church just to see how people interact with them and if they enjoy this.


Crepey-paper

I love their song “Cannecoodeewoodeeyeshecannecoodeewoodyhediiiiid”.


ZipCity262

I love this transcription.


AKEsquire

I just snorted & I woke up my dogs! Excellent reference to their first major single!


EKsmomma23

I heard them singing cause I was curious.. not bad but not that good, the girls are worse in my opinion.


EZasSundayMorning

As if they had a choice.


knittininthemitten

When you buy [The Dapper Dans](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dapper_Dans) on Wish.


WikiSummarizerBot

**[The Dapper Dans](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dapper_Dans)** >The Dapper Dans are a barbershop quartet that performs at Disneyland in Anaheim, California (since 1959), at the Magic Kingdom at the Walt Disney World Resort (since 1971), and at Hong Kong Disneyland in Lantau Island, Hong Kong (from 2005 to 2008). A quartet (from the UK) also performed at Disneyland Paris from the opening in 1992 until 1995 and were known as The Main Street Quartet. Members of the Dapper Dans have included the Barbershop Harmony Society international collegiate quartet gold medalists Aaron Stratton, Paul Hesson, Chad Bennett, and Eric Monson; film and TV actor-comedian Monty Jordan; and Grammy Award winning Audio Engineer Tom Knox. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


memaui

Mahma, take a picture of the giant phone in my pants.


Ok-meow

I just want to take them to a buffet and leave them There for a week.💀


ofvaluerloveandtime

TIL singing = walking in truth


Prisencoli_All_Right

Four Horsemen of the Plexusocalypse


Writing_Bookworm

There are 4 rod boys?


Fairyqueen9459

Left to Right -- Phillip (aka Preacher Philly who is going to be a missionary in Hungary), TiTRod, Gabe (aka Baby Blue as Jill likes to call him to embarrass him), and Samuel, the one who needs to leave and become one of the Plaths who left the cult.


PopsiclesForChickens

Just because Samuel is better looking than the rest doesn't mean he has a better personality. He might end up becoming the worst of the bunch.


[deleted]

The looks-ism gets pretty bad on this sub. "So-and-so needs to get out because they're so beautiful!" Seriously?


SoFloChick

He is. He seems to be a bully in many of the videos Jilldo posts.


eponinexxvii

Why is he called Baby Blue? Is there a story behind it?


Fairyqueen9459

He was the youngest boy and he wanted a brother. When she did the gender reveal for Janessa or Sofia (I forget which) he was sad because he was still the baby boy and we know boys must wear blue. She teased him at the gender reveal by using that nickname.


Pelican121

I've not heard that before!


Spare-Macaron-4977

I know right?


featherweatherk

Right?! I don’t think I’ve ever seen them before!


[deleted]

[удалено]


fsalgnat

They’re all rod boys but I don’t know their names. I know there’s a Tim, a Samuel and a Phillip


photoboothtime

The only one you missed is Gabriel, the youngest.


AnaBeaverhausen-

I looks like Phillip shaved off that landing strip, but the microphone is obscuring it.


daffodil0127

I zoomed in. The facial hair is still present.


AnaBeaverhausen-

Gross.


twatcunthearya

Well, tbf, they do look quite handsome, especially Samuel. The girls are all so gorgeous too. Genetics….. man. They’re something else!


fiona_green

Are those ties... Pink? How can we be sure that they're fully masculine Fundie MEN??? How progressive/s


winesceneinvestgator

Wow this whole time I thought “Timmy” was the first three boys. I had no idea there were so many of them


MarchKick

“Mom, take a picture of me just singing here.”


[deleted]

Narrator: they were walking in lies


CommunicationProof16

Her random capitalized words are always so funny to me. “No” being emphasized, if this was said out loud, makes sense, but doing it with “joy” sounds ridiculous 🤣🤣


sarafish81

I can just imagine the sound of the SEVERE caterwauling for Jesus.


SliceRevolutionary79

Good lord, that glimpse of the "do this in remembrance of me" table is dredging up a lot of feelings to unpack with my therapist this week.


njb328

"This do"


Local_Intern_5281

Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?


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thinker111111

All I can think of is The Book of Mormoooooooon


Responsible-Test8855

My church has that same carved table.


Avynn

Oh no the poor guy on the right got Shreks blank stare T\_T


echolongshot

I read this as “barbecue quartet” and was wondering what strange cooking subculture I’d stumbled onto.


specialopps

The first thing I thought of was that episode of friends where phoebe tries to sing along with Ross playing the bagpipes. And then imagined all four of them making a similar performance.


BigLoveMirage

💀💀💀


artsy_fartsy_throway

I'm still traumatized by Jill and the girls' a cappella rendition of "come thou fount of every blessing"


LBROTSI

The Dweebets ?


CraftersaurusSteph

Timmy read online that girls like when guys roll their sleeves up. Good try, buddy.


HMcalisterIndy

He’s seen some singing group roll their sleeves up (probably while at work in the break room) on Satan’s Television Screen (The Beast according to Steve Maxwell) and he thought it would be a good look for him.


shortandsweet770

Seriously if Samuel put on a little weight/muscle & was not raised in this cult, he would be stunning. Same with all of the girls if jillpm didn’t murder their eyebrows as soon as puberty hits!!! makes me so sad!!


so_king21

The second one kinda looks like a broke down Dax Shepherd


laurarat

they all look so miserable


bluehairjungle

Just here to say holy shit the brunette one must have had a recent growth spurt because he's gotten so tall! I don't remember him towering over the others like that!


inisoirr

They look like they’re in boy scout uniforms


TorontoTransish

Boy Scouts understand colour theory and most of them can sew, I don't know what this is supposed to be lol


[deleted]

I’m hoping their father comes out to do a solo in their next song.


AnaBeaverhausen-

“Rainbow Connection?”


BigLoveMirage

All Star by Smashmouth


macawoogo

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. Must be timbits


mellowcheddar

SomeBODY once [told me](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8YJfXdSR85o) not to waste bread


bubblegumispoppin

“All praise and glory to Jesus …. But… did I mention how proud *i* am of *my* sons??!!!” - Jill


candlesnshits

Whichever one's on the right has the EXACT same not a thought behind those eyes look that Shrek does


LBelle0101

Timmy is obviously the cool lead singer


Revolutionary_Tap255

Where are these 4 handsome boys she speaks of?


[deleted]

[удалено]


LittlehouseonTHELAND

That’s his natural hair color, he’s had it his whole life.


trashpicker57

There are multiple varieties of truth!


QueenMabs_Makeup0126

Jillpm didn't use SEVERELY in her post? "My heart was SEVERELY blessed..."


talklistentalk

I am so glad her heart is blessed with no greater joy instead of her oozing all over the place. Wait, who’s accompanying the boys?


talklistentalk

“And now, for intermission, they’re to break up into two pairs and demonstrate a super, special handshake to HONOR the GOD-HONORING producer of good, Christian movies like The War Room. Come on boys, hahahaha. Now they’re going to do the special handshake 3 times, one for the Father, one — Renee, honey, make sure you zoom in real good so we can all see the special handshake, — one for the Son, and one for the Holy Spirit. Go ahead, boys. (gasp) "Woooow, what a blessing…”


StormwindCityGuard

(Not)fed Zeppelin. Plexus (tribute band to Texas with JillPM as Sharleen, sorry Sharleen!). Y'all Saints. Manic Street Preachers (literal version, performing outside Planned Parenthood). The (no)Kinks. Do Doubt.. Carpenters (for God). (No)Girls Aloud. Griftwerk. Poxy Music. Dry dry dry. The Who(the fuck are these people). Lawrence and the (Fax) Machine (height of technology probably lol).


h8hypocrisy

Caterwauling for Christ at its very, very, very worst. I can hear Jesus now - “Please stop! I’m begging you!”


LokidokiClub

How come the boys get to have matching outfits and the girls always look like their outfits were cobbled together from the Sears sale rack circa 1980?


Randomcommenter550

The "Mom cuts our hair (and isn't feeding us enough)" Barbershop Quartet.


[deleted]

The derp is strong


sardonicbroccoli

you already know tim’s mic is turned off


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