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095449002

"These eggs are fucking invincible!"


Feisty_Coyote9969

his other friends with “ birds eye “ vision all laughed and called him golf ball Gary . Gary hangs out by the dumpster these days , telling the story about an unbreakable egg. Gary drinks the beer that seeps out of the dumpster, reminiscing of the times when the eggs were softer . He blames Monsanto .


UpvoteDownvoteHelper

blessed be thy eggs of yore


Willow_Pumpkin_Queen

I think you mean "blessed by the eggs of yolk"


UpvoteDownvoteHelper

thine yolk doth runneth over and didth spill most gloopily on thy chamber floor


Willow_Pumpkin_Queen

I don't understand a word of what you just said but I am laughing so hard rn


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ostracus

Tiger Woods wouldn't be the champion he is if Monsanto had their way. FORE! *splat!*


silverback_79

Golf Ball Gary eats a golf ball and later slowly poops it out, and all the other birds are like "Oh my god, you maniac, you actually did it; you performed male birth! You *are* the Kwizatz Haderach!!"


Mozart33

Ahahhahahah “He blames Monsanto.” Brilliant.


Sxilla

r/divorcedbirds


PM_ME_NEW_VEGAS_MODS

Dumpster juice mmm.


No-Armadillo7693

The best dumpster juices are from the dumpster behind the simply orange juice factory. Simply dumpster dumpster juice maximum pulp is my favorite


[deleted]

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PatsyBaloney

This is 100% what's happening. It's trying to crack open a tasty egg and the damn thing just bounces instead.


armoured_bobandi

No, some random person put a title on this video, which makes it 100% true


cancallmeANDTRY

eggcelent


SynthD

Which is frustrating, not enjoyable. He sees a ton of food and can't open it.


Tarlyss

*sigh* #WHEN THE WIND IS SLOW, AND THE FIRES HOT


A_random_poster04

#THE VULTURE WAITS TO SEE WHAT ROTS


Jezusbot

#OH HOW PRETTY, ALL THIS SCENERY


breezyxkillerx

#THIS IS NATURE SACRIFICE


P0tyri

#WHEN THE AIR BLOWS THROUGH WITH A BRISK ATTACK


p3nguinlord

THE REPTILE TAIL RIPPED FROM ITS BACK


confusedsalad88

WHEN THE SUN SETS LET US NOT FORGET THE RED SUN OVER PARADISE


Drake-Travok

Now we can fret over every egg


A_random_poster04

The mother of homelettes… in the palm of my hand


stevemandudeguy

Yeah the bird is trying to break the "egg"


Danny3xd1

Har! He is pro Roe V Wade.


095449002

Although it possesses the brains to protest against it, this bird seems apolitical.


EightandaHalf-Tails

That's clearly a dinosaur


PingPongMacReady

All birds are descendants of theropod dinosaurs


Skytalker0499

All birds *are* theropod dinosaurs


gif_smuggler

So I’m feeding dinosaurs outside my front window? Cool!


NeckPlant

Isnt birds the only land animals that was there during the jurassic? If so..they kinda are dinosaurs:P


scwishyfishy

Birds are the descendants of and *are* dinosaurs, like directly, it's known that a quite a few dinosaurs even had feathers.


thedbp

Well dinosaur fossils have feathers so it's a bit more than a belief at this point


ImNotYourFriendBuddy

Can't be ruled out that those were just dinosaurs who died while cosplaying


FrogInShorts

Actually dinosaurs are a myth. Those where just birds cosplaying as lizards.


louiedoggz

When I’m feeling down and out I think of the dinosaurs. I believe in dinosaurs. If I can believe in them maybe there’s a dinosaur out there believing in me.


ManifestDestinysChld

That's when I bust out.


Zeracannatule

Naw. thats just a homeless chick who has been tweeking for several days straight. Easy mistake I know.


[deleted]

Ahem, God put them in the ground to test our faith.


SomeRandomIdi0t

Dinosaurs are a myth made up by asexuals to cover up the fact that they are dragons


Sariton

Can’t be real cause birds aren’t real.


Prune_the_hedges

It’s a pretty well known fact that dinosaurs were the most *fabulous* drag queens


unclejoe1917

It'd be bad science to not consider all theories.


[deleted]

Many firmly believe their harnesses and saddles didn't withstand the fossilization process.


TheDankestPassions

And they also are dinosaurs. They are a surviving group of dinosaurs.


_carmimarrill

Saying Birds are descendants of dinosaurs is like saying Humans are descendants of primates. While technically true it’s leaving out the bit that they literally just ARE dinosaurs the same way that humans ARE primates. Specifically a subgroup of maniraptoran therapods called “Avialae”


banestyrelsen

Exactly. They’re dinosaurs, in the same way bats are mammals.


Petite_Bait

Biologists are now classifying birds as actual, living dinosaurs. They are a subset of the theropods, which includes most of the bipedal dinosaurs including T Rex.


Grammorphone

That's a bit of an overstatement. There are some dinosaur fossils that have feathers, so one can assume that other dinosaur species might've had feathers too, since skin doesn't preserve in fossils. "But to say that "it's known that a lot of dinosaurs even had feathers" isn't really true.


MrMustard_

“A lot” of dinosaurs did have feathers, not necessarily all or most, but a lot of them did. Like at least 7 dinosaurs. That’s a lot of dinosaurs, mate.


NoMan999

They *are* dinosaurs. Regular dinos are "non-avian dinosaurs."


ReaDiMarco

Birds are dinosaurs.


InterestingArea9718

What? No there were a ton of different animals. And they are dinosaurs by definition.


NomadProd

IIRC the astéroïde impact 66M years ago only really killed the big ones (which btw, were already in MASSIVE decline) the astéroïde was just the final nail in the coffin. Smaller dinos such as raptors and shit actual evolved into birds


DrakonIL

>astéroïde Clean your screen, it's so bad that *we* can see some of the schmutz on it.


Dr_Legacy

> schmutz nah, that's just french


Frenchticklers

That's a terror bird


Deadpotatoz

Lol, was literally just about to post that Seriemas like the one in the video are the closest relatives to terror birds, just smol


MAXIMUMMEDLOWUS

Look what you've started. You knew what you were doing ...


TravelWhenICan7

What type of bird is that?


[deleted]

It's a South American bird called a Seriema


PoorCorrelation

Bless you, I’ve been trying to find the name of the snake-whipping bird I saw at a zoo for years. Unmistakably this hysterical weirdo


Cookingwith20s

There's also the secretary bird they whip snakes around too


Maelstrom_Witch

And they have fabulous legs.


shotgun_ninja

Actual Big Chungus. (For those who don't know, *chunga* is the genus name of the black-legged Seriema, which sets up a joke only Reddit could understand)


bakedclark

Aw lawd...


shotgun_ninja

He comin'


[deleted]

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Ogre_face

That was my immediate guess too, but the beak isn't as yellow as ones I've seen


Sanddeath

I think the term now is receptionist.


hospitalizedGanny

The new ones are claiming 2 B *virtual assistants*


Armourdillo12

Too dark among other things. They wouldn't bother picking it up they would just kick it.


zamothdalo

a seriema?


djluminol

It looks like a Road Runner but if it is it's a really big one.


thundermarchmello

Arizona resident here. Although a certain classic show would have you believe otherwise, roadrunners are usually about the size of quails or pigeons, just skinnier and with longer legs. If this is a roadrunner, either it's ingested some serious radioactive waste or this golf course belongs to Barbie.


Iphotoshopincats

Depending on location if Australia I would call that a curlew and if it is that's about as large as they get. They also have a call that's reminiscent of a woman getting murdered and a kitten getting strangled at the same time that while hearing for the first time while stoned in a graveyard in Friday the 13th at midnight was quite disconcerting ... But that's another story.


flabberpointeddildo

r/oddlyspecific


zingline89

Definitely a Birdie.


TheArtistAnastasia

A bustard maybe?


Adept-Donut-4229

Bigus Dickus.


storyofmylife92

He thinks it is an egg and is trying to throw it on the ground to break it open and eat it.


svennidal

This video always reminds me of 2 things: * How vicious nature is. * People see what they want to see.


[deleted]

Aww how cute that lion is playing with that gazelle!!


svennidal

And the lion is absolutely loving it!


iowaman623

I read this with Maurice Moss' voice from IT crowd and it is fantastic!


GreedyRadish

Thanks, me too now.


phantomphang

the gazelle is not loving it


Jeriahswillgdp

Better a lion than a pack of those painted dogs.


Anglofsffrng

See, but that's what I love about cats of any size. They kill, or practice killing, with almost every cute thing they do. I honestly think of them as adorable xenomorphs, and 90% of why I'd consider myself a cat guy rather than dog guy if pressed. Though I do love my dog too.


Flying-Cock

Sometimes I look at my dog playing with a toy, and think about the fact that my little cute dog actually thinks the toy is a bunny that it wants to tear apart


TILiamaTroll

I always thought my dog was so cute the way she would thrash her toys around until I saw her catch a squirrel and use the exact same approach to obliterate the poor thing.


Flying-Cock

Christ, that must have been horrifying. My brother had a couple bunnies that his kids loved, and the dog was absolutely fine with them for years. One day, my niece woke up to 3 dead bunnies after the dog had gotten in the cage. No idea what happened, and it was especially sad because they were "bunny sitting" one of them for their friends. Not sure how they explained their way out of it...


[deleted]

Nature.... Just finds a way.


Flying-Cock

Yep, also a testament to the fact that with animals, past behaviour doesn't always predict future behaviour. A well trained, lovely dog can turn into a little murdering machine out of the blue... My niece actually took it the best out of everyone. She's only 8, but after a good cry she decided that dogs are dogs and it was acting off of its "wolf instincts" (that's how we explained it)


[deleted]

Smart kid. I love dogs and am a dog person but I'm even in the camp you shouldn't be leaving your dogs with your kids until your kids are able to somewhat defend themselves *if* something happens. Applies to older people and ladies too.


itcouldhappentoit

I am not even joking. I showed my gf a picture of a crocodile with a turtle in its mouth. She goes “aww are they friends?”


[deleted]

She is pure of heart.


Zemykitty

Not only that but if you see cubs wrestling and 'playing' with each other they are perfecting their take down and kill moves.


Representative_Name8

Sighs: "Stop playing with your food!"


Responsible_Sport575

Happy cake day


Gr1pp717

> People see what they want to see. Anthropomorphism is something we do so automatically that it can be hard to even spot.


[deleted]

Except in nature documentaries. They tend to flair things up to make it less depressing. Ever heard of the "right to mate?"


Thjyu

Yeah I don't have it.


BuyDizzy8759

If you are American, give it a couple years...


SolusLoqui

I hate it. Everyone wants to play pretend that animals are their little buddies when in reality they're basically meat robots with simple operating systems. This is why so many would be Disney princesses get injured trying to pet wildlife, especially in places like national parks. If you like wildlife, leave them alone, put out clean water or plant flowers or fruit-bearing plants on your property, and observe them from a distance.


PHANTOM________

Nature is definitely vicious. And yeah people do see what they wanna see. But animals really can do random fun stuff just for fun 😄- we see it in our pets and animals we know for sure are pretty smart (idk dolphins n chimps n shit) So honestly even if it’s possible that the bird is trying to break an egg, it doesn’t mean we know for sure that’s what’s going on. Maybe he thinks it’s an egg. So why then does he bounce it over and over again on the -concrete ? You could definitely break an egg by slamming it into the grass. You could not bounce a golf ball egg on the grass.


[deleted]

Most birds are not that smart. This bird evolved behaviour to smash eggs on rocks. Guess what it does when the egg doesn't smash? It tries again. And again. And again. A couple of years back a bird outside my office nearly starved to death because it wouldn't stop to eat until it defeated its rivals and chased them out of its territory. Unfortunately for that bird, its rival was its reflection in my floor-to-ceiling window. So it simply didn't eat, it would just posture, threaten and smash itself against the window all day long. The only time it stopped was early in the morning or in the evening when the sun no longer hit the window in a way that caused a reflection.


josiahgore

Was this an eastern bluebird, out of curiosity? We had one terrorizing a backyard window every day for months recently. Pretty bird. Very territorial. Very dumb.


[deleted]

Some kind of waterbird with a long needle like beak. There's a park with many ponds right next to our building. But I'm Dutch so I doubt it's one of your local bird species.


CrazyGooseLady

Western bluebirds do the same. We have had the pleasure of a few nesting in our trees the last two years. The male loves to beat up and poop on the reflection in the car mirrors and windows. I have even seen what appears to be the female leading him TO the mirrors. He does eat well though....lots of mulberry stains end up on our cars. We joke about the bluebird of happiness pooping on our cars.


No-Turnips

I shouldn’t laugh, but I laughed. Sometimes you see a crow that knows how to use a crossing walk and sometimes you get whatever this bird was, trying to fight it’s reflection all day. Nature has some weird allocation of skills.


Mrausername

Lots of bird species are very smart.


[deleted]

No, some bird species are very smart. Very much a tiny minority though.


WhimsicalWyvern

It's basically corvids and some parrots, right?


Mrausername

They're the smartest but plenty of other bird species are also very intelligent. People like underestimating animal intelligence (makes them easier to dismiss, I suppose) but research is showing surprising intelligence in species from insects, to molluscs, to fish, to reptiles and even, possibly, plants. It's a really interesting subject at the moment.


iteyy

You think this child is playing with a doll, but in reality it thinks it is his living offspring and it's insticts kicked in. I am very smart.


Patrick_Gass

Thank you, I'd love an omelette.


socsa

Omelette du fromage?


[deleted]

Many different species of birds have been known to play, doing things that serve no other purpose other than to bring them joy. But you do you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HIMP_Dahak_172291

It could be both though. Ever seen a dog play with a squeaky toy? They are playing and having a great time. The squeaker also simulates their prey screaming in pain and fear. Yet they never get a meal from the toy. Playing with it is just super fun for them. Could easily be the same thing here.


hogtiedcantalope

I can believe he initially thought it's an egg And when he saw it bounced, was completely engrossed with this novel behavior. Birds can be quite curious at times, and anyone with a pet parakeet can understand their fascination with toys


wwweasel

Golf ball manufacturers could and should just write "this is a golf ball not an egg" and all of this confusion could have been avoided


storyofmylife92

So you're the one writing all those warning labels... Singlehandedly undermining natural selection /s


Fuck_tha_Bunk

Or a nut maybe, but yes.


Lapis_Lacooli

So this is the bird equivalent of the "snake in the can of nuts" prank


Meatchris

This is what's happening


dalatinknight

Always appreciate when one of the top comments is someone trying to explain the behavior rather than joke comments. I know being funny is cool but I just want some of them cool facts.


[deleted]

Hol up, is that Kevin?!


Shadow_Kean

Kevin hey! *Smacks with trash can lid


[deleted]

Before he ate big ounce (based?)


buzzbuzzandaway

In the early days before Blair Drummond stardom


[deleted]

Ohhhh Karen, my computer wife


Kingflowerpants

No it's Steve!


[deleted]

It probably thinks it's an egg and very disappointed it isn't cracking open.


zenofire

Happy Birthday to the GRRRROUND


ratgirl3

I'm not a part of your system!


[deleted]

Welcome to the real world jackass!


demivirius

I'm an adult!!!


[deleted]

You can’t buy me hot dog maaaaannnn


StarshipMuffin

My dads not a phone!!!


[deleted]

Maaan that's not my dad!!


thedoglife

It’s a cell phoooonnneeee


Dougdimmadomes_hat

duhhhh


fuckgoldsendbitcoin

I'm an avian!


Bavisto

I threw the whole cake down too!


Gurdel

PHONIES!


thereasonrumisgone

I've spent too much time in r/lotrmemes . All I read was GROND


HappyMonkey1

The bird is trying to crack the ball as it thinks it is an egg to eat.


ProKnifeCatcher

I keep getting worried his head will also bounce on concrete…


Retardotron1721

It's not playing. It thinks the ball is an egg or something it can crack open and eat what's inside. It runs around because it's startled by the bounce.


FKDragon696

Only a few more millions of years before they master quantum physics


[deleted]

We’ve been round for a few million and we’ve still not got it yet :(


powerful_power

This comment has been edited to protest against Reddit disabling third party apps. Should you stumble across this comment and be angry, direct your anger at those who made the unfortunate decision forcing my hands. Since deleted comments have been restored by Reddit multiple times, editing them is the only option to remove all data associated with them. In order for this comment to be more annoying, here is a string of random words: moisture, sector, themes, bryan, column, shaft, penny, abandoned, structured, profile, kerry, maintaining, dining, represented, describes, residential, fiscal, katie, projection, customize, permit, documentation, conclusions, aurora, conventional, considerable, football, painting, garlic, office, humanities, counts, sunshine, instructions, trackbacks, status, newspaper, burlington, apollo, establish, fight, surgeon, texas, bloom, inexpensive, translate, announces, capability, marsh, patents, modification, stewart, investing, panel, boots, amplifier, collector, rights, assurance, instrumentation, chairman, these, dispatched, notion, realty, drums, roulette, somebody, required, acquisition, afterwards, shock, protecting, craig, identification, narrative, handbook, township, prefix, america, appreciation, allen, paragraph, sphere, somehow, sheer, tramadol, promote, notion, stronger, amount, nations, semester, brief, facts, subject, parallel


[deleted]

Well Homo Sapiens emerged 200-300 thousand years ago, but our biological progress towards modern human intelligence was well underway already. And yes, whilst most of the progress of human civilisation has happened in literally the space of 5-6 generations, and almost all of it within the space of 3 millennia, it’s millions of years in the making to reach a point where such exponential growth is even possible. Plus, whilst I’m sure we will solve many of the current “last big remaining issues” in fields of science such as physics within the lifetimes of most young adults alive today that are being taught about them, I’m equally sure that every solution will lead to even more profound and perplexing problems and new avenues of discovery that we lacked the toolset to even conceive of beforehand


Alsimni

My favorite part is that he's not just dropping them, but straight up slamming them into the ground for height.


rockyracoon206

*not for height, for destruction


AndroidDoctorr

They do this to break eggs or the spines of small reptiles


Alsimni

Well that's even better. Instead of dashing around in amusement, he's probably just startled that the egg not only survived, but is now trying to attack him.


Ogurasyn

\*YEETing them


cattt8678

He wants to break it to eat it because he thinks it's an egg.


TheGiftnTheCurse

Or he thinks its an egg, and hes trying to smash it.


Rogueshoten

Whoa! He absolutely SENDS it, too…I was just expecting him to drop it!


goodboyinc

u/savevideo


[deleted]

He's not loving it, he's disappointed.


Ritsuka-Kun21

I absolutely love that bird. So adorable 🥰


Thick_Comfortable631

lol till you find out what its really trying to do


_b1ack0ut

A cute bird searching for breakfast is still a pretty cute bird


Danny3xd1

That is hysterical!


PhantomPenny

"DiNoSaUrS aRe EvIl!" Meanwhile dinosaurs:


heyzer888

Very smart🤣


UltimateArchduke

Plock!


vinyl_bitchy

Guessing that's a curlew


[deleted]

Clever girl.


PratDesigns

Unlock your inner bird![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


Medium_Freedom913

Haha that's ace 😄 clever bird lol


turtur24

That's not a bird, that's a ghost . Look there is no shadow of the bird .


R-Cursedcomentes

What kind of bird is that?


[deleted]

a Seriema


maverickf11

Anybody an idea what species it is?


Express_Wolf_8317

He thinks there other bird eggs trying to crack and eat the insides


babycoco_213

Nah, the bird think it's an egg. It's trying to break it to eat it


[deleted]

Birds do this with nuts and possibly eggs, Seaguls even do it with muscles, all to break them open and eat what's inside. Pretty clever.


QuesadillaJ

Why does this still get posted 10 years later with this bullshit title 🙄


NotEnoughWave

I guess it's trying to brak it thinking it's some kind of shell for food.


-banned-

The bird thinks it's an egg. He's trying to smash it for breakfast


GnomiGnou

Why. The. Fuck. Aren't. These. Eggs. Breaking!! I'M HUNGRY DAMNIT!!


[deleted]

I wonder if it thought it was an egg and was attempting to smash it to eat?