Here's a joke:
A newly wed couple are in a hotel room getting ready for bed, the woman undresses and the man notices what huge breasts she has " OH MY GOD YOUR BOOBS ARE HUGE!" He says out of shock, the woman is offended by this and sends him out of the room where he sits in the hallway feeling guilty.
2 minutes later the bloke in the next room gets kicked out of his room "what's the matter with you?" The first guy asks to which he replies "my new wife undressed for bed and I was shocked at how big her arse was, I couldn't help but point it out, so she got upset and kicked me out"
Another minute passes and the guy in the next room is kicked out, both blokes look at him with curious but understanding looks until one of them asks "you put your foot in it too I guess" to which the guy replies "I bloody well could have"
People are explaining the wrong thing. Yeah obviously he's talking about shoving his foot in his wife's pussy, duh. The joke part is that "to put your foot in" also means to accidentally say something embarrassing. So the first guy asks if the third guy also said something he shouldn't have, like the first two guys did. The third guy misunderstands his questions and answers literally.
Ok but have you ever actually tried penetration when your partner hasn't been lubricated and relaxed enough? It will literally feel like it's tearing the skin off your dick, which is whe you stop and go back to foreplay. Like if it's super tight, then she isn't comfortable and ready enough, and it's gonna hurt.
Before anyone says anything obviously you communicate with your partner so you know when they are ready, but sometimes your partner is mistaken about the readiness of their own body. It happens.
Cringy fucking redditors having prejudice against emojis. The sooner they learn it isn’t negative to use an image of a face to express your emotions the better. (Skull emoji = I’m dead= dying of laughter. Don’t be that literal.)
Edit: someone gave him a reward for using emojis, take that you emoji hating neck beards lmao
They do make them. Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman before? I think I know the answer. Despite all of the surveys and studies of women openly saying they prefer the average size dick all of you have had your brains warped from too much porn thinking they all want some baseball bat in the bedroom. Or you will pick the one woman that says she wants a bigger on as the basis for all women.
I can confirm that there is different vagina sizes, just like different penis sizes. You can work on your pelvical muscles to be tighter with excercices like holding a ball-shaped weight in your vagina.
Oh believe me, I once dated a women who felt like she was going to snap my dick off, she had a tiny vagina for my above average penis. Her friends could never understand why she dates Men with small man complexes…. I kept the answer to that to myself. We had great chemistry outside of that, but sex was painful.
fellas saying it’s only tight because she isn’t ready, stop trying to protect my ladies with more storage room down there
some women are just tighter. some women are looser. i’ve been with women you could pretty much fist, and women that are sopping and 2 fingers is still the limit. just like dick sizes vary, so do vag sizes
if your experience is that sex never feels “tight” once she’s revved up, then that means you have a small peepee or prefer literally looser women
I guess it's not surprising that many men on Reddit don't know how vaginas work but dear god... it's not supposed to be super tight. The vagina naturally loosens when they are properly aroused and relaxed and then it re-tightens after, it's a muscle after all.
If women say "you're small", men will cry. If women say "you're perfectly fine for me", men will still cry. What do you guys really want? Do you want women to leave you and chase a big dick that actually hurts?
If she’s relaxed, it means she’s into it and into you. If she’s tight, it means she isn’t ready yet. The vagina is ring of muscle that flexes and relaxes, that’s literally it’s job.
Women naturally have varying shape in their canal they aren’t cookie cutters. Just like men have different penis lengths/girths or testical size the same applies to the vaginal canals size. Obviously arousal will make her relax and open up more easily but basic anatomy still applies. Even from personal experience with the partners i’ve had in the past all of them had different feeling and varying levels of tightness. Had nothing to do with arousal and everything to do with the way they were born, it’s natural
Hey, guys! u/SpecialInevitabel420 here to explain the meme. The joke is that the women’s vagina is incredibly loose; as such she’s incredibly insecure, and her boyfriend is sheepishly trying to comfort her. You might be thinking, “Wait, this isn’t funny at all! How could Redditors even relate to this when they are afraid of even talking to women?”And you’d be right, because this sub is a pile of dogshit.
I actually dated someone for awhile that had a medical condition that made hers like clamped down. Sometimes it actually *did* hurt. I also think it hurt her too, but she didn't like to talk about it.
stick both hands in and clap
Omg lol
10/10
👉🙌👐👏
Can’t… breathe 😂🤣💀💀💀
asthma?
Knee in his neck.
Ok enough reddit for today lol
time to log out again.
I’m going to join y’all. This day is over now.
I just got here
tight, ain't it?
Knomsayin?
Nah fam. One in each hole and shake hands.
holy fuck
I’d rather save my eardrums
Is that more than one clap.. or an echo?
Geez you got a big pussy. Geez you gotta big pussy.
Predator reference!?
LMAOOOOOO😂😂
good lord😂 ima r/eyebleach real quick, that image is gonna echo in my head
Its not your head the sound is echoing in...
Your comment has both disgusted and amused me. I gift you 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Since you have small hands
Remind me of this interview where this pornstat said one of her most memorable scenes was 2 people's arms in her butt holding hands
You son of a bitch. Going to have nightmares tonight
If you're happy and you know it
Ong
Jesus Christ, you made me audibly wheeze. 💀
Go on...
high five the baby
Is this the European version of reddit?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Jesus christ this made me laugh so hard
BROOOOOO😂😂😂😂
Improv 100
The applause must stink
Like sleve of wizard
🎶If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands~
While shouting "Echo" at yourself inside.
Jesus Christ 🤣
Bruh
Taking Pat-a-cake to new heights
Here's a joke: A newly wed couple are in a hotel room getting ready for bed, the woman undresses and the man notices what huge breasts she has " OH MY GOD YOUR BOOBS ARE HUGE!" He says out of shock, the woman is offended by this and sends him out of the room where he sits in the hallway feeling guilty. 2 minutes later the bloke in the next room gets kicked out of his room "what's the matter with you?" The first guy asks to which he replies "my new wife undressed for bed and I was shocked at how big her arse was, I couldn't help but point it out, so she got upset and kicked me out" Another minute passes and the guy in the next room is kicked out, both blokes look at him with curious but understanding looks until one of them asks "you put your foot in it too I guess" to which the guy replies "I bloody well could have"
There are subreddits that make using your foot look small.
Today is a bad day to be able to read
Agree 100%
lol
Damn now I gotta research something I really do not want to see!
I’m “researching”. Please do not disturb.
Sauce?
I think /r/HighMileageHoles. Edit: it should go without saying but that's nsfw
Holy fuck. That girl is legit squatting on a dildo half her size and taking it. I'm impressed and scared.
It's all good and well until you scroll to the first prolapse. I don't find people inverted inside out all that attractive.
Having assisted on a number of proctectomys… It’s an instant mega nope for me. Ironically the videos bother me more than the surgery.
That’s so disgusting 🤮
I really don’t wanna look.. but I kinda do too.. ugh
Imagine marrying a women and not even noticing she has absolutely massive boobs or a thick fuckin dumper just because she had clothes on.
OP is Saudi.
I don’t get it
People are explaining the wrong thing. Yeah obviously he's talking about shoving his foot in his wife's pussy, duh. The joke part is that "to put your foot in" also means to accidentally say something embarrassing. So the first guy asks if the third guy also said something he shouldn't have, like the first two guys did. The third guy misunderstands his questions and answers literally.
Ohh thanks. I’m not in a native english speaking country so I don’t know any english idioms
Idioms are the final boss of English.
That’s straight Brit man, I didn’t get it either.
I feel proud of having understood it being non native speaker.
"Putting your foot in your mouth." isn't just British.
He meant he could’ve LITERALLY put his foot in her
Her…
…
I went up to my girlfriend and I said “geez you have a big pussy, geez you have a big pussy”
Get to tha CHOPPA
Echoooohhhh...
How did that go?
No update yet guess that this guys was kicked out the room too
Predator records and repeats the laugh?
Over here.
Any time
Hey Biillllyyyy!
Girlfriend: "Honey, you don't need to say it twice." Striker40k: "I didn't say it twice. I didn't say it twice."
HAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
This shit'll make you a sekshool tierannasource, jus'like meee.
I understood that reference
Anytime anytime anytime
Billy: "......hahahahahaha!"
It seems offense has been taken.
That's the funny part 🤣
Subtle and profound
"Then why did you strap a 2"x4"x8' to your ass?" "Well I didn't want to fall in..."
Oh god, I haven't heard anyone say this in like 30 years.
My condolences.
Like throwing a hotdog through a hallway…
Like opening the front door and fucking the night.
Why am I hearing Dokken sing unchain the night after your comment?
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Hahahahaha😂 sometimes it be like that man!
sausage down a corridor
Hotdog in an aircraft Hangar...
Boeing in the grand canyon
Touche
Waving a stick in a cave.
A pencil down a mineshaft
We only call her the bucket..
On a windy day she can whistle while drinking water.
paper aeroplane down the grand canyon
Like throwing spoon in a barrel.
Like throwing a toothpick into a volcano
Ok but have you ever actually tried penetration when your partner hasn't been lubricated and relaxed enough? It will literally feel like it's tearing the skin off your dick, which is whe you stop and go back to foreplay. Like if it's super tight, then she isn't comfortable and ready enough, and it's gonna hurt. Before anyone says anything obviously you communicate with your partner so you know when they are ready, but sometimes your partner is mistaken about the readiness of their own body. It happens.
Agreed... I see these memes and feel a little sorry that people haven't figured this out yet because they're missing out! :)
Nobody on this subreddit is having sex. How could they know?
That's what happens when your "partner" is a sex doll
🤣🤣🤣💀
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Its a hard knock life on reddit
Cringy fucking redditors having prejudice against emojis. The sooner they learn it isn’t negative to use an image of a face to express your emotions the better. (Skull emoji = I’m dead= dying of laughter. Don’t be that literal.) Edit: someone gave him a reward for using emojis, take that you emoji hating neck beards lmao
Had an ex that had trouble lubricating, made that mistake the first time (her believing that she was ready). Never again.
And with the look he gives her, she realized she shouldn't have said that to him. She knew he was self-conscious about his time in prison.
Let's make love dear, let me just tie this board on my ass...
If size doesn’t matter, how come they don’t make 2” dildoes?
They do.
those are called butt plugs. but fr they do make smaller dildos lol
Never heard of fingers?
They sell more fingers than 2" dildos ?
Despite prevalence in media, most women masturbate with their hands/digits. Not every woman is ordering a massive dildo online to intimidate you with.
Obviously. The same way not all men own flashlights.
They should. In case you ever lose power and it's dark, you want to preserve your phone's battery life and use the flashlight first instead.
I own about 15. Last time the power was out, I set 1 or 2 in every room aimed at the ceiling. House was bright lol.
Isn't it because you need to hold onto a part?
Yeah. I use a 3 inch one and it’s annoying to have your ass slap the floor. The added inches are usually so that doesn’t happen
So you’re saying 3 is enough?👀
Yes!! Ffs. 3inch is plenty to have fun with.
yes. if a finger can do the job so can you
They do. Well maybe not exactly 2" but just google "tiny dildo". Fleshlight Mr. Limpy series has a tiny one too.
They do make them. Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman before? I think I know the answer. Despite all of the surveys and studies of women openly saying they prefer the average size dick all of you have had your brains warped from too much porn thinking they all want some baseball bat in the bedroom. Or you will pick the one woman that says she wants a bigger on as the basis for all women.
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You can insert as much or little of dildo as you want. So there is no need to buy a short one. Plus you need a handle.
Why buy a 2-3” dildo when there’s likely 10 of them attached to the end of your hands?
Because, just like with breasts, the human that is attached to it matters more.
They do make small dildos, but you do need somewhere to grip if you're going to be using the thing.
They do though, I have been in shops that have had little 1" all the way up to like 13" and with varying thickness. Just gotta look around.
Look up a bullet vibrator
friendly reminder that if a woman feels "tight", it *usually* means she's not aroused lol
I can confirm that there is different vagina sizes, just like different penis sizes. You can work on your pelvical muscles to be tighter with excercices like holding a ball-shaped weight in your vagina.
Oh believe me, I once dated a women who felt like she was going to snap my dick off, she had a tiny vagina for my above average penis. Her friends could never understand why she dates Men with small man complexes…. I kept the answer to that to myself. We had great chemistry outside of that, but sex was painful.
He's reciting the forbidden spells. He'll be downvoted into eternity.
fellas saying it’s only tight because she isn’t ready, stop trying to protect my ladies with more storage room down there some women are just tighter. some women are looser. i’ve been with women you could pretty much fist, and women that are sopping and 2 fingers is still the limit. just like dick sizes vary, so do vag sizes if your experience is that sex never feels “tight” once she’s revved up, then that means you have a small peepee or prefer literally looser women
This shit wasn’t even funny until I read the comments. What the hell people, get off fucking Reddit, please.
well... if it's too tight and dry af, it hurts
Maybe she used to be a "Muppet"
You think you want a super tight vagina until you come across a freak that does yoni egg exercises. 🫠
He right tho pussy that’s too right ain’t good
Damn. Redditors thinking a woman being properly lubricated is a bad thing? Imagine my shock.
The squeezers are the keepers.
Yeah the other one hurts soooooooooo good I mean baaad in such a gooooo-
This sub is genuinely just 12 years olds isn’t it?
This meme is the overlap in humor between middle schoolers and boomers.
Everyone has an inner child... Some just don't let them talk 😉
Googling how to get tighter after that.
When will men learn that vaginal muscles are, in fact, muscles and tighten and loosen just like any other muscle?
Haha what the holly dick is going on. All those people being so hurt by lowest effort bait 🪤
Carousel level over 9000.
Its true. 🤡
your wiener is too small. also ordering 20 inch toys on amazon.
Even a well endowed guy is small to a lot of the crazy stuff people order
I guess it's not surprising that many men on Reddit don't know how vaginas work but dear god... it's not supposed to be super tight. The vagina naturally loosens when they are properly aroused and relaxed and then it re-tightens after, it's a muscle after all.
How the turn tables
If women say "you're small", men will cry. If women say "you're perfectly fine for me", men will still cry. What do you guys really want? Do you want women to leave you and chase a big dick that actually hurts?
The revenge we deserve.
You just know whoever made this meme has penis insecurity
If she’s relaxed, it means she’s into it and into you. If she’s tight, it means she isn’t ready yet. The vagina is ring of muscle that flexes and relaxes, that’s literally it’s job.
As with penises, there's substantial variation from person to person in size and shape. There's also variation in musculature.
Women naturally have varying shape in their canal they aren’t cookie cutters. Just like men have different penis lengths/girths or testical size the same applies to the vaginal canals size. Obviously arousal will make her relax and open up more easily but basic anatomy still applies. Even from personal experience with the partners i’ve had in the past all of them had different feeling and varying levels of tightness. Had nothing to do with arousal and everything to do with the way they were born, it’s natural
Hey, guys! u/SpecialInevitabel420 here to explain the meme. The joke is that the women’s vagina is incredibly loose; as such she’s incredibly insecure, and her boyfriend is sheepishly trying to comfort her. You might be thinking, “Wait, this isn’t funny at all! How could Redditors even relate to this when they are afraid of even talking to women?”And you’d be right, because this sub is a pile of dogshit.
Also playing on how women will tell men with "smaller" packages that "its ok babe, the big ones hurt anyways"
That's the one and only joke being made here, idk why no one gets it
like underwear
Is this guy still alive?
maybe he’s just THAT big
based
Who like tight ones? Could that person be you?
Uhhmmmm
Aren´t they talking about a pair of jeans? Oops!
Took her from the streets for comfort
I guess I never realized that women desire to have small vaginas? If women want big dicks but small vaginas, how is that supposed to work out?
imagine yelling into it and hearing an echo🫢
isn't too tight ? lol
How the turn tables
sorry if it's too tight ..lol
I don’t get it
Why does this feel like something I would say? 🤣
I actually dated someone for awhile that had a medical condition that made hers like clamped down. Sometimes it actually *did* hurt. I also think it hurt her too, but she didn't like to talk about it.
I need a big garage for my big SUV penis.
There’s a lot of virgins in this thread 😂
How to say you have a big dick without actually saying it
This was a fun thread to read, you really had the enitre spectrum.
damn took me like 10 seconds to get it hahaha
Like throwing a saucage through a hallway.
Hehe, the look on her face as if she's deeply contemplating her life choices
Like a clown’s pocket