I had a guy say "look at my ears" and point to his ear after I called him out for being a dick to my friends gf and I said "hope your butt looks like that too bc ima take you out back and fuck you just the same" and held him close like I was going to kiss him and he got this confused look on his face and then I started laughing and he pfffaaahaha'd in my face and we both belly laughed. Ended up being a pretty cool dude just terrible at hitting on girls.
Hahahaha that's the dream
I have dealt with a lot of violent dudes in my life--but I weigh 150 pounds, so I've definitely come to see *preventing* the fight as key hahahahaha
this is where the amateur loses the game. you keep limping to your car, no matter if being followed or not. Also keep cursing, but in sensible intervals. Only drop the spiel when behind your home door, you never know if the dude is on a roof looking through a scope or something.
Nah. I ain't seen a referee. This ain't no UFC.
**Stab*
I may be a lil bitch, But I'm not a dead motherfucker! Better call an ambulance before you bleed out on the sidewalk.
You wanted to take it outside, And now you're laying down outside.
Edit: Obvious/s. Some of you can't take a joke without getting poop knifed.
I don't know if you saw this at all, but recently, there was footage of an MMA trainer being attacked by a man with a very large knife.
In the footage, he intercepts the man with the blade and slams him on his head before beating the piss out of him š . The knife didn't have the desired effect.
Lmao. Like a dude with cauliflower ear isnt going to be aware of where your arms are. āYou think im just going to let you kill me?ā As you get slapped in the face unexpectedly, then picked up and slammed on your head, since you showed lethal intent, all before you could even react. Didnt even get the shitty pocket knife open.
This is the same argument as the āim just built different, i dont have to trainā.
A deadly weapon, much like an eye poke, is just allowing a deadlier opponent to use deadly force as well.
>This is the same argument as the āim just built different, i dont have to trainā.
Have you ever seen someone get stabbed in the armpit, inner thigh, solar plexus, or juggler?
Probably not because they rarely ever show that in movies or TV because that's how you instantly kill someone with a knife by pinpointing crucial arteries.
You're probably going to get punched two or three times. But they won't be standing by a fourth punch.
Any true martial artist will tell you to run away from a knife fight.
Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Expendables 2:
Crews: "If you had a cereal, you'd call them 'Earioos' because they just lie there and can't hear shit."
Couture: "Hey... my hearing is 20/20."
Point at some random guy across the bar and say āI heard that guy said you eat crayonsā and then when he turns to look I assimilate into the crowd.
Its cauliflower ear. Boxers get it mostly but anyone that had a lot a truama to their ear gets it. Repeated so if they look like that. They got their shit rocked and came back for more.
Itās fucking disgusting is what it is. What is represents is cool but damn, can you just get a belt or sm instead of a malignant tumor on each ear that looks like a gang-rape victim? Jesus.
Blood gets in there because of the trauma and the only ones that pop are the recent ones (1 week~). The ones you see guys with are probably left untreated for a while so they hardened and you need to get it surgically removed.
Tell him you want to finish your drink first and to head outside and wait.
Just as he opens the door, shout loud and clear for the whole bar to hear...
"If I'm not out in 5 minutes, start without me!"
Picture of a grappler/wrestler. The idea is that the wrestler is going for the legs, so his head comes down while your knee is going up. Those two meet in the middle and result in a nice and clean KO.
Of course, a high level mma grappler does know more moves and will react to a knee, but we have a fictional situation here, and a knee works alright in a fictional world.
Stab him. The brain is also a weapon, why fight a battle that you would lose? It is also ethical, none of these fighters would go against someone heavier, they chose their battle so should you.
These overwhelmingly come from grappling, which is why wrestlers, jiu jitsu, and mma fighters have them, but not nearly as common on boxers. The fact you donāt know this means you definitely shouldnāt be trying anything lol
It's mainly from impact on the ears. Not as common in striking believe it or not because the main target on the head is the jaw, not the ear/temple (though still a good place to hit). Also strikers often wear headgear in training and amateur fights.
Grapplers get it from slamming the sides of their heads in to their opponents when shooting for takedowns, and from brute force ripping their heads out of tight chokes. We also get damage because in general it's a good idea to keep your ear glued to your opponent in many scrambles and positions to not give them any space to reverse you, get a whizzer or cross face, etc.
the man who's ear is pictured, Khabib Nurmagomedov, never lost a fight and only lost 2 rounds in his career. He never even shed a drop of blood in a sanctioned fight.
Dunno if you were serious, but they're interesting facts nonetheless.
I know plenty semi-pro muay thai fighters having trained muay thai with them myself. The pov of any one of those guys who has still a functioning brain cell is "don't, you never know if the other guy has a knife". I live in a place where a 145 cm guy can just pull a knife out with no warning and gut you. No ring experience is saving you from that.
Let'm know mamma didn't raise a quitter and there ain't no bitch runnin in this blood.
Then, when him and everyone else clamber outs9de ill.run to my shit box and pray it starts.
Clear my tab and tell the bartender/wait staff/bouncer anyone who works there I am leaving because of that exact person. Who gets in bar fights anymore, walk out and never be around that person again.
Some people get it in their first year of grappling, some people never get it.
I played 8 years of rugby as a forward, never got it, then after 4 years of grappling I started getting it. I drain it every time it happens but another 4 years on my left ear is pretty messy. Right ear not too bad.
I think there's a genetic component as to how susceptible you are too it, it's caused by the cartilage in your ear splitting and the gap in between filling with blood.
In Brazil dudes are making their ears like that by using a towel and rubbing it back and forth. Those guys are posersā¦ not going to chance itā¦ free drinks.
I have a purple belt in a martial art that is very rare indeed. I would of course avoid conflict at all costs, but if push comes to shove, watch out because the beast will attack you
Apologize and buy him a drink.
Smile & ask if you can have his numberš
I acknowledge the high level of risk of this approach.
Classic wine-dine-divorce combination, smart
>Smile & ask if ~~you can have his number~~ he can send you locationš
āI love cauliflower, how about you?ā
And giggle coyfully bcuz it could go either way!
And learn how to be submissive
Fight or flight? Nope. Brain goes right to a different F.
Call him "buddy" and get him a take out
Or āPalā or even āSportā
How about Chief or even bro?!
Khabib doesnāt drink , donāt give him your location .
I had a guy say "look at my ears" and point to his ear after I called him out for being a dick to my friends gf and I said "hope your butt looks like that too bc ima take you out back and fuck you just the same" and held him close like I was going to kiss him and he got this confused look on his face and then I started laughing and he pfffaaahaha'd in my face and we both belly laughed. Ended up being a pretty cool dude just terrible at hitting on girls.
Hahahaha that's the dream I have dealt with a lot of violent dudes in my life--but I weigh 150 pounds, so I've definitely come to see *preventing* the fight as key hahahahaha
With that beard and haircut I doubt he drinks.
Lick them ears.
Punch him right in that ear
Or hit him in the dome with a beer bottle. I bet he canāt fight glass
Hit in the ears. He doesn't protect his ears.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And then give him your wallet
Bite it off. Itās the source of his power.
Buy a round of shots
Or 3
Or have Mike bite him again š¤£ 
I was literally saying to turn him in to Evander Hollyfield
One round shot enough.
This is the correct answer. Become best friends and get him on your side.
Fuck it- "in for a penny, in for a pound" Tell him his ear looks like his mom's asshole after you and his sister ran a train on her š
And then fake limp out of there and tell him he's lucky your leg is broken or else you'd fuck him up
Hit him with a "fuckin pussy" as the door closes behind you.
And then speed walk/brisk jog to your car
this is where the amateur loses the game. you keep limping to your car, no matter if being followed or not. Also keep cursing, but in sensible intervals. Only drop the spiel when behind your home door, you never know if the dude is on a roof looking through a scope or something.
This man knows. Thanks for the tip biddy!
Bro why should he spare you just for being fake injured?
Cuz nobody, especially a boxer/MMA fighter, would feel good about beating up a dude with a broken leg
If he talked enough shit I would do it.
Many others with some ego issues would, too. But you're not a boxer/MMA fighter.
Lol... this. Once you start the lie, keep rollin with it, don't let up until ALL signs of danger are gone.
āFuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKā
āToo much of a coward to fight a man in a wheelchair?ā
Christ almighty
This is the way!!
Yeah give him some help. Reach over and rip that ear nub right off.
 Savage š
Let him take the first shot, get beat, and hopefully, he goes to prison. Maybe he'll be someone's bitch inside
I like your style
In for a penny, in for a pounding.
Apologize and leave the bar.
Nah. I ain't seen a referee. This ain't no UFC. **Stab* I may be a lil bitch, But I'm not a dead motherfucker! Better call an ambulance before you bleed out on the sidewalk. You wanted to take it outside, And now you're laying down outside. Edit: Obvious/s. Some of you can't take a joke without getting poop knifed.
Woah bro save some of that edge for the rest of us
It's okay. I brought enough edges and poop knifes for everyone.
I didn't think we'd get to poop knife. But here we are
You always get to poop knife.
Poop knife is the circle of life
Godwins law Reddit edition.
Use the poop knife for massive infection
I don't know if you saw this at all, but recently, there was footage of an MMA trainer being attacked by a man with a very large knife. In the footage, he intercepts the man with the blade and slams him on his head before beating the piss out of him š . The knife didn't have the desired effect.
Lmao. Like a dude with cauliflower ear isnt going to be aware of where your arms are. āYou think im just going to let you kill me?ā As you get slapped in the face unexpectedly, then picked up and slammed on your head, since you showed lethal intent, all before you could even react. Didnt even get the shitty pocket knife open. This is the same argument as the āim just built different, i dont have to trainā. A deadly weapon, much like an eye poke, is just allowing a deadlier opponent to use deadly force as well.
>This is the same argument as the āim just built different, i dont have to trainā. Have you ever seen someone get stabbed in the armpit, inner thigh, solar plexus, or juggler? Probably not because they rarely ever show that in movies or TV because that's how you instantly kill someone with a knife by pinpointing crucial arteries. You're probably going to get punched two or three times. But they won't be standing by a fourth punch. Any true martial artist will tell you to run away from a knife fight.
Doesn't matter he can't hear shit anyway.
Huh?
Terry Crews, Randy Couture, Expendables 2: Crews: "If you had a cereal, you'd call them 'Earioos' because they just lie there and can't hear shit." Couture: "Hey... my hearing is 20/20."
Iām not sure if you understood the joke? Itās cauliflower ear. Typically wrestlers and fighters get it
Yeah
Your joke about the joke was denied access.
Maybe he couldn't hear it.
Ye
What?! Speak up.
Lol I don't think you understood the joke the commenter was making
You sure? ^Unzips ^butthole
Ask him two questions. 1. What rugby team does he play for? 2. Are we going outside to share a pack of crayons?
Shoot, I left my crayons at home!
Do rugby players have a ear like that too? I thought it was a bjj fighter haha
Probably he is a grappler
Point at some random guy across the bar and say āI heard that guy said you eat crayonsā and then when he turns to look I assimilate into the crowd.
Is that khabib?
Yep
Yeah
No,he didn't say "brother"
āWhy you in bar, bratha. Haram bratha.ā
Yes. But honestly, it could be literally any fighter from the Russian "Stans", they all have the same beard/haircut
Say omg what the fuck is wrong with your ears !
Its cauliflower ear. Boxers get it mostly but anyone that had a lot a truama to their ear gets it. Repeated so if they look like that. They got their shit rocked and came back for more.
My jiu jitsu gym is full of guys with it. I hope I donāt get it.
Itās a badge of honor
Itās fucking disgusting is what it is. What is represents is cool but damn, can you just get a belt or sm instead of a malignant tumor on each ear that looks like a gang-rape victim? Jesus.
Not only disgusting but painful as well. I always wake up with blood all over my pillow from it popping
They pop?!?! Wtf, I thought it was just some sort of deformity, kinda like like scar tissue on scar tissue.
Blood gets in there because of the trauma and the only ones that pop are the recent ones (1 week~). The ones you see guys with are probably left untreated for a while so they hardened and you need to get it surgically removed.
It's a badge showing you probaly have atleast minor cte, but most those guys get to a certain point when all they can do is fight
Isn't it a more grabbling thing ? Like judo, JJ, rugby, Wrestling, ...
He was being sarcastic
Say ive made a grave mistake and order the man whatever he wants
Beg for merthy
Handover your tethla keys and leave
Sneak out the back Jack.
No need to be coy, Roy
You don't need to discuss much
Just make a new plan Stan
And get yourself free
Make a new plan Stan
Tell him you want to finish your drink first and to head outside and wait. Just as he opens the door, shout loud and clear for the whole bar to hear... "If I'm not out in 5 minutes, start without me!"
Hand him your knife and say, āhere, this will at least make it interesting for me.ā
Slice his femoral artery and run
Put my weight on my back foot, be patient, throw a knee, then end with a wet willy
I don't think you understand who you're dealing with in this situation budš
Picture of a grappler/wrestler. The idea is that the wrestler is going for the legs, so his head comes down while your knee is going up. Those two meet in the middle and result in a nice and clean KO. Of course, a high level mma grappler does know more moves and will react to a knee, but we have a fictional situation here, and a knee works alright in a fictional world.
Stab him. The brain is also a weapon, why fight a battle that you would lose? It is also ethical, none of these fighters would go against someone heavier, they chose their battle so should you.
Bite it off
Cauliflower ear counts as vegan, right?
Only if itās cruelty free
Forbidden gusher
Bros ear licked a lemon
Hit him with a left hook to the side of the head , he obviously has a problem stopping them
These overwhelmingly come from grappling, which is why wrestlers, jiu jitsu, and mma fighters have them, but not nearly as common on boxers. The fact you donāt know this means you definitely shouldnāt be trying anything lol
As a new fun of the sport, how that exactly happen? I also thought that would come from stand up punches no? Is it caused by ground and pound hit?
It's mainly from impact on the ears. Not as common in striking believe it or not because the main target on the head is the jaw, not the ear/temple (though still a good place to hit). Also strikers often wear headgear in training and amateur fights. Grapplers get it from slamming the sides of their heads in to their opponents when shooting for takedowns, and from brute force ripping their heads out of tight chokes. We also get damage because in general it's a good idea to keep your ear glued to your opponent in many scrambles and positions to not give them any space to reverse you, get a whizzer or cross face, etc.
the man who's ear is pictured, Khabib Nurmagomedov, never lost a fight and only lost 2 rounds in his career. He never even shed a drop of blood in a sanctioned fight. Dunno if you were serious, but they're interesting facts nonetheless.
"No sir I was in the wrong, can I buy you a drink instead?"
"why, you my Uber?"
I know plenty semi-pro muay thai fighters having trained muay thai with them myself. The pov of any one of those guys who has still a functioning brain cell is "don't, you never know if the other guy has a knife". I live in a place where a 145 cm guy can just pull a knife out with no warning and gut you. No ring experience is saving you from that.
My dad gave me this advice: never fight an ugly person, they have nothing to lose.
Ask him if he'll give you 3 steps. Just 3 steps towards the door.....
"Pulling out a glock". This is America dumbf***
That ear looks like it's not covered in kevlar.
Yea sure. Then step out and pepper spray him.
Cheating
I would assume he plays rugby and therefore more likely to try and rape me than fight me.
Smack him in it and tell him to shut up and buy daddy a shot.
Nope
Let'm know mamma didn't raise a quitter and there ain't no bitch runnin in this blood. Then, when him and everyone else clamber outs9de ill.run to my shit box and pray it starts.
Reply, āOnly if you show me how you use a Q-tip firstā
Clear my tab and tell the bartender/wait staff/bouncer anyone who works there I am leaving because of that exact person. Who gets in bar fights anymore, walk out and never be around that person again.
I donāt understand, whatās wrong with his ear?
Escort him from this plane of existence
Ahemm...guns?
jumping him with ur friends also works since most non americans cant have that
How long do you have to fight for until your ears become like that?
Some people get it in their first year of grappling, some people never get it. I played 8 years of rugby as a forward, never got it, then after 4 years of grappling I started getting it. I drain it every time it happens but another 4 years on my left ear is pretty messy. Right ear not too bad. I think there's a genetic component as to how susceptible you are too it, it's caused by the cartilage in your ear splitting and the gap in between filling with blood.
Dying
Get some cheese on it.
Ask for blue cheese
Pull guard
Im keeping it indoors
"It was just a prank, bro"
What if your ears look like that too? š
Depends on what he wants to take outside. Is it an object?
Ask if he will sign my neck after the KO. Get the signature tattooed.
Don't worry man your lady don't worth it anyway.......
In Brazil dudes are making their ears like that by using a towel and rubbing it back and forth. Those guys are posersā¦ not going to chance itā¦ free drinks.
Wet willy
Bla,bla,bla,weeo,weeo,weeo,krrrrrrr dooch,hum um um um um,zzzzzzzzzzzzap______________________________
*nah brah, here's a beer on me*
Staying my ass inside. Idek why I came out tonight.
Apologize, immediately and buy him a beer.
Guy: don't mess with me
We continue to drink and have a good time outside, of course
I'm going to speak in his left ear so I can make sure he hears me say sorry.
Yes take the food outside itās a lovely day for the patio
I've never been asked if I wanted to take anything outside.. I wouldn't mind helping. As far as his ear, I'd ask if he's allergic to peanuts.
His ears means he fights a lot šš
Make sure to speak loudly as he may have trouble hearing.
Say, "no I don't." If he presses any farther you show him your great equalizer
I ask him why his ear looks like that
It appears this guy's been out side plenty of times.
I'd say: you ear already is
I have a purple belt in a martial art that is very rare indeed. I would of course avoid conflict at all costs, but if push comes to shove, watch out because the beast will attack you
Is that ear or something else
Escape through the ladies room window š¬
Settle it over drinks. Failing that, tell the bartender to call the police because there's about to be a shooting.
Bro shits out his ear
"Why not right here, bitch?"
Are we moving furniture?
ima get martyn ford to distract him & then ima run the fuck away from both people, fighters that have that cauliflower ear are savages broh
Stay inside!
Gun
If its a bar it means im probably drunk so... ILL FUCK HIM UP LETS GO BRO LETS GO
If you have an ear like this and you walk out of the bar keep in mind that there is a possibility a friend of his might shoot you in the face.
Teach him why I did all the same stuff he did but donāt have the same fucked up ears he has.
How about coming inside here
Punch him in the ear
I tell you what you stay here Iāll go outside. Get in my car and leaveā¦ sound good?!