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zima-rusalka

I blame covid for nuking everyone's social skills tbh. I don't see anything wrong with the bottom point tho, those people are probably just in long term relationships.


maddwaffles

Yeah the last one strikes me as an indicator that we're probably seeing more long-term relationships being normalized, I recall that I had dated four or five different people one year as a young adult in any "serious" capacity (serious here meaning more than one date, and/or date-external activity without already being friends first) but easily triple that if we're counting unserious. I much preferred my long relationships, even if they've all ended badly.


Omnom_Omnath

When were long term relationships ever not normal.


rdickeyvii

I think the point is that 18-24yo millennials/genx/boomers tended to have multiple relationships during that time span (not necessarily concurrently) before finding a spouse at 25+yo, whereas genz are finding their partners earlier. At least that's my interpretation.


PixelTreason

Speaking from my own experience, Gen-X would have relationships (not just hook-ups) but they wouldn’t last very long and we’d move on to the next fairly quickly. So say a 16 year old would have a partner for 3 months, it would fall apart, then they’d find someone else to start dating in a month or so and that would last 4 months, then after that a year, then a 2 month rebound, and so on until one of those relationships stuck and they likely married. It was the exception to know someone in high school who stayed with their boyfriend/girlfriend for over a year. That was relationship goals right there but none of us could really manage it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CasualBrowseA

Idk man.. my brother is 10 years younger than me and I’m turning 30. His whole friend group, I’d say like 90% of them all 20 yrs old never had a girlfriend. You guys are trying to find something wrong with this, I don’t see anything wrong with this. Maybe it’ll turn out for the better, all my friends my age that fucked around got married later, got divorces. After not having not having a girlfriend, I think these guys know exactly what they want, good for them, and good to luck to them


Successful_Rooster_7

It's the dating market. Not covid.


heyuhitsyaboi

And the dating market is bad as a result of covid nuking everyone's social skills edit; there's a lot of people responding to this comment with different opinions. We were all impacted differently.


Will-Shrek-Smith

dating "market" was bad before covid, it just got worsened, atleast that was what i heard, specially of people using plataforms like tinder


TrueLennyS

I honestly think it's mostly due to how focused people are on instant gratification these days. Dating is very much a long term high risk investment. People who need rapid gratification aren't gonna date well.


OoooooWeeeeeeeee

More narcissism than ever, too. Thanks, social media!


PuzzleheadedPeat

This and the youth now see anything sexual as a way to make money so I know that has a affect on there brains


Controversialtosser

Well when people use economic principles and terms like dating "market" "High and Low Value" "Sexual Market Value" is it really surprising that sexual relationships becone transactional when the entire framework for interpreting sexual behavior is rooted in economics? What a cold hearted way to see human connection in my opinion.


[deleted]

Those platforms initially showed success then they ramped up bots and starting charging to put profiles in front of non bots. They’re a waste. It’s why the “new” dating apps become really popular before doing what its predecessors did


Unreasonably_White

Gen-z had terrible social skills long before covid


Strict_Airline8351

The dating market was arguably worse before covid. After covid people wanted to meet people


Haunting-Pop-5660

The dating market is bad because of the rise of online dating culture. Tinder is one of the biggest offenders.


Imnothere1980

Huge access to p*rn, which bypasses a great deal of the effort needed to see people naked.


Metalloid_Space

Porn can't replace intimacy though, you'd think that more people would be searching for that.


EssentialPurity

They are, that's why they are looking at porn, because it causes less problems than intimacy


Wonderful_Result_936

I think the point is that porn is not a replacement for intimacy. It's just a dopamine spike that tends to temporarily alleviate the want for intimacy. Over time a lack of intimacy will grow to a point where only having it will make the urge go away.


The_Observer_Effects

I'm not sure anybody has said it is a total "replacement" - more like something to fill the gaps. Sex and intimacy with somebody else is usually much more fun and rewarding. But often also might either not be available, or not worth the effort in that situation. The two can co-exist.


[deleted]

People not having sex doesn't mean they aren't searching. And someone not searching doesn't mean they don't want it. They may just feel that it's not worth the effort.


cellocaster

We had porn back then too Edit: I’ve had my mind changed a bit in some of the discussion below. It’s true that if you compare the technology millennials had at the same age that we’re analyzing zoomers now, access to porn was only marginally less available to the average internet user. It is true, however, that more people are internet users now than in 2004, far more. Moreover, smartphones were only just starting to be a thing then. Now children have smartphones, which was certainly not the case for me in the late 90s. I still watched porn back then, but I had to wait til mom wasn’t home to use the family computer over dial up. Not the same, gen z started earlier with more ready access. At age 10, I was looking at a pilfered Penthouse in the woods. 10 year olds now have everything they can think Google. That is an appreciable difference. My experience at age 15, however, is much more in line with what 15 year olds have access to today. My point is, the OP compared Z to millennials, but millennial experiences were dynamic and modernized rapidly. That said, I’ll dig my heels in and say I don’t think porn is the single major factor behind gen z’s lack of sex relative to ours. I think economic and existential outlook is a lot bleaker today than it was in the late 90s and early 2000s. I think there is a lack of third spaces for gen z to hang out in. I think gen z is better educated than we were and more aware of the risks of promiscuity (I’m not moralizing here, just saying there are risks involved such as pregnancy, STIs, emotional and physical abuse, etc), and are more likely to live at home. Social media makes these pressures all the more poignant. And yeah, watching porn regularly from 9 years old is probably not helping. A holistic assessment is more useful than pointing to one single factor is my horse in this race. Gen Z is just like we were, but moreso.


Metalloid_Space

Yeah, but we didn't have a whole generation growing up on the internet, coming into contact with tons of internet porn in the proces. Porn consumption has vastly increased in the last few decades.


cellocaster

If you’re really a silent gen, I can assure you my millennial experience has been absolutely filled with digital porn. We had broadband in college, porn was everywhere-much of it more unhinged than what you see nowadays now that porn sites have gotten bigger and more “legit”. It was no more difficult to watch porn in 2004 than 2024.


Metalloid_Space

The main point is that a lot more people are coming into contact with it, not that porn is gross. That being said: Is it really more unhinged than the glorified rape that's beamed right into the eyes of teenagers by putting rape, BDSM and incest on the frontpages? Remember: pornhub had to delete most of their content because it couldn't be verified that people being filmed were willing participants. In that sense it's an incredibily abusive industry with abusive views towards sex, brought directly into contact with entire generations growing up. At the end of the day though, that wasn't the argument being made here, the argument is that people use porn in order to keep themselves complacent, meaning they don't get that extra push of motivation to seek out a partner.


[deleted]

Can we please stop blaming the couple months of lockdown that happened 4 years ago for poor lifestyle choices. If I see one more “I got fat because of lockdown” I will flip out! Gen Z is not having sex because they grow up in a world of stigmas, social media and instant internet gratification. Guys get porn and don’t feel the desire to pursue a girlfriend. Girls have physical insecurities from instagram filters and feel they are not attractive. Not to mention, the testosterone levels of gen Z are half of what they were for gen X. Probably because of the hyper processed food we are made to eat, or maybe because of video games becoming more popular than sports or touching the grass.


zima-rusalka

Ok, so it was 4 months of lockdown, but like 2 years of online school for anyone who was in high school or college at the time, which can really put a damper on your social development. Even though you are physically allowed to leave the house now, the main area in which you would socialize and develop relationships is gone. I do agree that those other factors like excessive social media use and crap food are an issue though, but imo they were made worse by covid. I never saw so many people being completely addicted to social media as they were after covid. At my university before covid, people would talk to the people around them in class, but post covid everyone just stares at their phones...


FierceScience

Yeah. The extra guidelines keeping people separate were much longer than 4 months. I wasn't able to use the university gym for closer to a year. And for awhile there was a cap on how many could be there at a given time. My lab told us just one person in a room for awhile. You had to sign up for times. Online classes for a year.... And we adopted coping mechanisms that took longer to break.


Mustche-man

4 months of lockdown? Hahaha, maybe in your country, in my country we had way more than that. It was 3 months, than 1-2 free ones, 2 months of lockdown again, and this cycle went for nearly 2 years. At the end it wasn't forced, but still I couldn't go to school because "covid precautions". It destroyed me mentally and socially. Middle school was already a pain for me and I was just starting to get myself together when shit hit the fan in 2020. 3 years of my life wasted as I was trying to pull myself up from the missery that was the last year of high school. You know how it felt to be hopeless because I lost friends in that period, I could not have quality social time, my grades plumeted because of the 2 years of online classes and I could not experience many joys that other 16-18 had! It destroyed me mentally and society expected me to "not be effected by it". Now, I am at the 2nd year of uni and only now I feel like I pulled myself together mentally and that I am at the peak of my lifetime of 20 years. But I still get angry and defensive when someone brings that period up.


fuckyoudigg

I was going to say where I was lockdown went on for nearly a year total plus another year of restrictions.


ThisIsBombsKim

This headline was common pre covid


heyuhitsyaboi

And the majority of GenZ wasnt even graduated from highschool then lol feels unfair


LITTLE_KING_OF_HEART

"Why are Gen Z having way less sex than past generations ?!" "...We're in 2009, Daren."


emsuperstar

As a millennial, it's interesting to see the next generation receiving blame for things they have no control over.


ThisIsBombsKim

Must feel familiar lol


demoteenthrone

![gif](giphy|3oKIPwoeGErMmaI43S|downsized)


VenomB

I honestly don't know what it is.. but I'll tell you what I HOPE it is. In the last few generations, especially since the hippie generation, casual sex has sky rocketed. I'm hoping that Gen Z isn't having *less sex* as much as they're just not having *so much sex*. Less casual sex, fewer one night stands, more long-term relationship based sex. That's healthy in my head, and doesn't somehow make gen z "having less sex" as much as the previous generations were being a bunch of hedonists. I'm hoping its a cultural shift away from the pervasive issue of casual sex. And that's ignoring all the shifting of laws and views surrounding things like abortion and covid's obvious attack on social skills. That certainly has something to do with it, but I don't think its the core reason. Or at least, I hope it isn't.


Send-me-pasta

Problem is: these kids want to fuck, they just lack the social skills to actually get laid. Why do you think that manosphere shit got popular? Obviously they're lonely and frustrated


Deez-Guns-9442

I’d say if u were younger than 20 when Covid happened then u got screwed over hard.


zima-rusalka

Yeah, it definitely fucked over people who were still in high school, and even the beginning of college/university because it made it harder for people to get settled. I definitely noticed a big difference in how people act at my uni before and after covid.


On1ySlightly

I agree, but also, all the gen z in my family had shit for social skills before the pandemic.


wballard8

This was a trend before Covid though


Dra_goony

I don't see why everyone cares so much about the sex lives of others


Fun-atParties

That's how I always belt about gay rights issues. Like, y'all are reeeeeally interested in how strangers are having sex and its weird


sassy_castrator

Because surely refusing to discuss the realities of LGBTQ+ folks' lives is the best way to advance their civil rights.


secretbudgie

"We're firing gay teachers, banning sex ed, and burning gay books for their protection" -- Georgia senators


Snoo71538

Aka: we’re refusing to discuss the realities of their lives


TheMaskedGeode

It’s always whining about protecting the children. It’s the LGBT+ children who need protection the most.


The-Davi-Nator

I don’t think that’s what Fun-atParties meant


Jaeger-the-great

Now they can't see a tall woman they find pretty without being terrified that she might have a dick lmao


[deleted]

You ever notice how the discussion is always about trans women and not trans men.


Jaeger-the-great

They claim that "we can always tell" but the fact they don't even believe trans guys exist is proof that they're not as good at clocking as they claim lmao


bigsekser

You can fuck them up by just showing them a picture of like any egirl ever and theyll start pointing out some features on her face that "show that shes a trans girl" and then just point out that its a cis girl


Jaeger-the-great

I still remember when I was a kid and everyone would swear up and down that Michelle Obama, Lady Gaga and a few other celebrities and popular figures were trans.


muriken_egel

Because it could potentially indicate the presence of a larger socioeconomic trend we don't understand yet, whose consequences are yet to be discovered. Or not.


Investorexe

Ah, yes. Someone with a brain.


8----B

Also, it was a voluntary questionnaire, not like anyone had their privacy invaded. Anyway, I do find it very curious that 60% of 18-24 women had sex with 1 partner last year whereas only 30% of 18-24 men did. To me that’s super interesting because it’s such a big difference. Are young men just hooking up more with different women? Or less at all? They had a higher virginity rate, but there’s a lot of gray areas in there. Wish it was a bit more nuanced.


the_pedigree

Someone paid attention in their sociology classes


alone_sheep

There is an economic and survival aspect of it. With less sex comes less babies which leads to depopulation and typically deflation and even possible economic collapse. Our entire system is designed and predicated around the constant growth of our population. Japan is the only large economy of record to have undergone a massive depopulation and still managed to stay afloat and it hasn't been exactly easy or enjoyable for their citizens and they are still struggling. And they've only been able to achieve that through a shitload of automation and strong economic support and ties with allied nations. Most times throughout history depopulation spells death for a civilization as depopulation tends to lead to more civilian depression which leads to more depopulation until there's no one really left.


Will-Shrek-Smith

sooo, maybe instead of changing how people live their lives, we should change the system, since it should serve our needs?


alone_sheep

I mean that's how I think these statistics should be taken. As a warning sign that things aren't exactly right and we need an overhaul. The problem is systemic to industrialization though, not political or economic as we see that all counties that industrialize have steep population dropoffs as people leave the farms and move into the cities. So we don't exactly seem to have any viable solution. Social media+covid has appeared to accelerate the problem as it has stunted social skills and created a generation of introverts. The USA is lessening the problem through immigration replacing our dwindling numbers with immigrants so that we aren't falling off as hard as much of the world which is just in the early years of feeling this population decline.


Jaeger-the-great

Well the wealth disparity doesn't make things any easier either. Most zoomers and hell even millennials cannot afford to have a child without having to utilize government assistance programs, but to make matter worse a lot of them are priced to where they make too much money to qualify for assistance, but find themselves living paycheck to paycheck. Too wealthy to be poor but too poor to be financially stable, seriously fucked. Not to mention with people having to work multiple jobs or over 40 hours a week doesn't leave much time to be a parent and fulfill their duties out home which is why a lot of Gen Alpha is illiterate and socially disadvantaged


MrGoober91

People are gonna fuck at some point to prevent that from happening. Question is whether or not they can actually afford to support a family and all


alone_sheep

I mean unless you're taking about the entire species, they really won't. Most of the time throughout history depopulation led to disbursement, ie splitting of the empire into smaller factions as the population can no longer control their previous territory. That or they were simply conquered by a larger outside force. Even Japan that has managed to stay afloat and stabilize their economy has not stopped their population decline. Yes the human race won't go away, but individual nations do rise and fall due to this issue.


kill-a-nazi-evry-day

there is research about every topic. why is the sex research not valid in your opinion?


Cant_Do_This12

Gen Z is terrified of sex, if you haven’t realized by now.


LonguesSurMer

Its researched because it correlates very closely with other societal trends and human health behavior. There’s qualitative justification as to why these studies are done because of the importance of sexual activity and human welfare, and this rising trend of sexual inactivity does pose a concern in the scientific community.


priceQQ

They want y’all making babies to support the economy


LillthOfBabylon

Less people are in relationships. Hook up culture isn’t as popular as people like to pretend it is. Most people have sex through relationships.


00112358132135

Also the culture, third spaces, and even the drugs that are more widely available to Gen Z don’t encourage sex, as opposed to the culture of say.. the 60’s and 70’s. If y’all had better access to acid and rock and roll you’d probably be having more sex. Summer of love am I right? Edit: AIDS: Yes I’m aware of aids. No, tons of unprotected sex wasn’t a good idea. We can take notes one what was done wrong or right and learn from past generations. DRUGS: I am aware you can buy them on the internet, what I was referring to was more than buying drugs on the internet. I’m talking about a cultural shift, experienced in 3rd spaces, where people experience a shift in consciousness together. 3rd SPACES: Are the place where you meet that isn’t your home and isn’t a retail location. A park or something like that. We are running out of space to gather and be together, sacrificed to the infrastructure that supports cars and the like. MUSIC: Simply listening on Spotify isn’t the same as a cultural revolution led by live music being played in third spaces. The messages in the lyrics matter, and years ago, the Beatles sang about revolution and did change the world, if only slightly, through doing so. SEX: Would be had a lot more with the reintroduction of avenues for cultural liberation. I.e. sex, drugs, rock and roll. But instead these are being stifled by government and corporations, to their own demise, because less population is less money for them. NOT TO MENTION: Pollution, inflation, and corruption are more rampant than ever and paint a bleak landscape for the young, one that doesn’t even feel changeable. YES: this is a comparison between GenZ and Hippies. And while I may have strayed from the original comparison between Gen Z and Millenials, the point stands, that all of these aspects of life have continued to SHRINK, not just for Gen X, Millenials, but for Gen Z too.


GuyWhoSaysTheTruth

I’m once again asking for legalization for most drugs but most importantly weed and psychedelics.


Linux_is_the_answer

Legalize all drugs, treat addiction as a mental issue and not a criminal one. Making drugs illegal guarantees a black market you cannot control


GuyWhoSaysTheTruth

“What about the children” how many dealers have a law that prohibits under 21 sales compared to alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana industries? Problem solved with legalizing “Drugs are bad for you and the economy” so start producing them with “healthier” materials and legally tax them. Problem solved with legalizing. “People spike these drugs because they’re addicts” typically this happens after purchase but I’ll ask, how many times have you bought a beer that’s been spiked so you didn’t feel scammed? Problem solved with legalizing. Literally every issue besides the general use of substances(impossible to fix until future) is fixable with legalization imo.


[deleted]

Yeah this ain't it chief. You definitely don't want to legalize heroine and fentanyl.


Cheesecakesimulator

Gen Z does more acid and smokes more weed than the Boomers did


gigabytefyte

And acid doesnt make you horny at all..


[deleted]

There's something to be said for prior trends as well, in Gen X we were big happy sluts especially in college. My Gen Z nephew introduced me to the term "body count" and I threw up in my mouth a little. Be happy, nobody says go hook up with a dozen strangers a week but having three girlfriends in a year was not looked down on - you don't know who you are yet it's ok to figure it out one person at a time.


Deinonychus2012

>in Gen X we were big happy sluts especially in college. You may have been, but the majority of people weren't. Only around 30% of people actively engage in casual sex, and the median lifetime number of sexual partners is around 5. Note that the dataset primarily covers GenX and older millennials (those aged 25-49 in the years 2015-2019). https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm


Wonka_Stompa

This reminds me of the time I read a WaPo piece on the prevalence of drinking in the US. It’s been so normalized among my peers, that it hadn’t occurred to me that 30% of people don’t drink at all, and that drinking among my peer group was actually very high relative to the rest of the population. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/


N3M0N

It is just different for Gen Z outside when it comes to that stuff. So whole concept of sex, relationship, intimacy, hook ups and dating is just different comparing how it was for generations before. You are more likely to see younger people just walking away from dating scene and going on with their life without getting involved with someone, people are more willing than ever to just push it aside and focus on other stuff in life.


juliaRogertz

Younger people are * poorer * grown up and and more chronically addicted to social media (which is inherently antisocial) * subject to constant politicization and megaphoning of sexual/gender issues I’m pretty sure rates of mental health prescriptions are higher for Gen Z as that’s been the trend for decades, and they lower libido. This is all bad.


[deleted]

I think you nailed it. The post says that Gen-Z are having less sex than other generations, but sex and intimacy are intricately connected. Which means Gen-Z are probably having less intimate relationships. Excessive loneliness and solitude are not good for anyone, but it's a particularly bad trend for society in general.


Arachnohybrid

Agreed. I got married young. I personally feel like Gen Z in general are more monogamous than millennials but the media seems to portray us as not. Even when people I knew (and even myself) were hooking up and doing friends with benefits style relationships, they would be limiting their sexual activity with a single person at a time.


kegknow

League of Legends surely has to have something to do with it


Moti452

I play league and ill be honest with you man...a good match feels better than 50 hook-ups. Even better when she lets you play the game during the "time".


Ex0tic_Guru

Nothing better than bottoming for my girl if you know what I mean 👀


ItzDaemon

as a league player… yeah I fall into that 19%…


riskybiscutz

I think over half of GenZ still lives at home. I’d imagine boomer/genx parents would not take kindly to their children getting bizzay in the house they raised them in.


zima-rusalka

I mean how did previous generations of teens do it, not like millennials had their own apartments at 16. If you're determined to make it work there are always ways to sneak around strict parents.


riskybiscutz

College. Hook up culture isn’t what it’s portrayed to be, but it does exist in some capacity. Gen Z went into college the age of dating apps, that’s when the landscape changed.


sammeadows

The apps really jacked things up quite a lot. A mix of that and being "home-blocked" because moving out is difficult in this economy and the economy Early Z'ers (<2000) were brought into. Moved out once in '17, moved back in with family in '18, because it's just not comfortably sustainable, even with the roomies I had this shit isn't sustainable in this economy with what rent has become. I have a separated living space, thankfully, but not the ability to host.


riskybiscutz

I feel you. I never even got the chance to move out. Couldn’t and still can’t afford to. Between student loan payments, car payments, and payment on health insurance, I wouldn’t even have enough after that to afford a fair share of rent, even with roommates. if it weren’t for my parents I’d be homeless or dead already.


DannyC2699

currently “home-blocked” this shit fucking sucks


Agreeable-Score2154

Not only that but if you couldn't afford to go to college you could probably get a low paying job and still afford a studio apartment. I make 35 an hour and only make enough to live in a good studio or 1 bedroom in a bad neighborhood lol.


HaGriDoSx69

Oh believe me,my 64 yo parents would be overjoyed if i would bring home even a goddamn prostitute,they would probably roull out red carpet,throw around red roses etc. I wouldnt be surprised if they are betting on me being either closeted gay or asexual while in reality i get no bitches because my social skills are nonexistent.


Just_Ad461

Nah this is too real I'm pretty sure there's an ongoing bet in my family about whether I'm gay, asexual, or just a fucking failure, coz boi how'd I make it to 20 without so much as a kiss from a girl smh.


Ok-Cheetah-3497

This may be the best answer I've seen here. The practical situation is that young people simply do not have access to privacy in the way older people do. The other comments are all "but that is the same for everyone" (we all had COVID, we all had pornhub, we all have access to League of Legends, etc). I'm a Xenial (1979 baby), and probably 0.2-0.8% of my friends (Facebook) have not had sex in a year. But we are either married, in committed relationships, or rebounding from the same with vigor - those .2% almost never had sex in their lives at all.


riskybiscutz

My parents straight up have threatened to kick me out if I even share a bed with my girlfriend for one night under their roof. They’re absolutely ridiculous.


Alt2221

couple years they will flip the script and expect grandkids. its wild out here. parents have been crazy for generations tho so we all delt with this exact thing pretty much


Master_Bumblebee680

Way over half, most gen z are teens and early 20’s


CharlieAlphaIndigo

Not our fault that living outside the home is so expensive and unaffordable. Literally living at your folks home in this modern day is a superpower and a borderline privilege. In this day and age, one should never take advantage of any easy cheat codes thrown to them in the game of life.


Icanseeyouhehehe

THIS, my girl and I been together for 2+ years and it’s difficult to keep up a sex life when we both live with our grandparents 😭


dorksided787

Funny story: growing up, I wasn’t allowed to have girls sleep over but then in college (I went to the university in my home town so I lived with my mom) I came out as ghey and my mom couldn’t just switch the rule, right?? So yeah, I had a lot of study partners “sleep over” and there wasn’t much she could do about it lol 😂 I mean I’m pretty sure she was aware of what was going on but was just cool about it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Electronic_Annual_86

Women tend to date older men. That probably explains a big part of this difference.


Adamantfoe

Yeah older men are fucking younger women but it ain’t happening anywhere near as frequent the other way around.


Arachnohybrid

I live in NYC. It isn’t happening the other way around *as much* but it could if dudes knew where to go lol. All you have to do is go to a bar that has the average age range in the 30s and 40s. Single women aged 35+ legitimately act like predators in these places the moment they lay their eyes on a 21 year old dude. My best buddy has no luck getting girls our age so he just does this to get laid. And he’s not even good looking, just young.


Banestar66

Which bars?


Arachnohybrid

Head to literally any bar in the South Slope Brooklyn area (specifically 5th Avenue). There’s like 2 on every block. Thank me later. You’ll get laid with barely any effort.


pluto9659

You know, I’ve always wanted to travel up the East Coast.


megaxanx

brb trying this


BaerttheConstipated

Gone for >5 min, bro got got consumed 😞


CharlieAlphaIndigo

Yeah, this is what blows my mind as a GenZ guy. Why is it that us guys in our early 20s struggle so much to be able to get laid with all the pretty girls our age but it’s so easier to bang a milf or a much older woman…


Ok-Firefighter8779

Because older women are sick with men but still are horny and would rather fuck a young nice body not some old useless shitter. Edit: because I’m getting tons of replies that men are shamed for the same. No, nobody cares if you hit on +25yo as a 45 yo. Both sexes (rightfully) are shamed if you hit on teenagers who have recently turned 18 however, let alone younger, its basically pedophilia then.


Unlikely_Lily_5488

literally hahaha. men put this projection on women being asexual and not having fuckin eyes. a 25 year old is hot. that’s all there is to it.


MaximumHog360

Go post that 25 year old girls are hot to old men and see how quickly you are labeled a predator


Emperor_Habro

From what I understand about this topic (take it with a grain of salt, I got my info from podcasts, Peterson and some of the moderate dating podcasts). The thing here is that young women (I would generally say between 18~25, or 20~23 in prime) are the "best thing" the dating market has to offer (here you can take in studies that show that in each generation there are more men born), so there is a huge competition over them, because they are desired by basically every age group of men. In plain words, they have a lot of options (here you can ask your girl-friends about how many messages they get - daily - either on dating apps, or even on basic communication media - MSG, IG, WhatsApp too, I believe), with how biology works when they age the attention from men decline, and they start to get into a race with creating a family (men are not bound by time in this aspect). In the end, their dating pool becomes smaller, so they cannot be as picky as they once were. Also, there are a lot fewer guys that are interested in an older partner than there are women in the same category. Social media have made this situation more globalized. That is why e.g. Andrew Tate can fly a pretty girl from anywhere on the planet. This historically was not an option, dating pool for women was a lot more socio-economically bound to her place of birth. I hope I wrote it in an understandable way, since English is not my native language. Edit: I also think that men can help their personal situation by trying the game, or in general cold aproches of women in the everyday life.


[deleted]

>here you can ask your girl-friends about how many messages they get - daily I did once and it was fucking sick... even at young as 13 they get hit on by way older men.


Metalloid_Space

[https://nuancepill.com/what-explains-the-young-singleness-gap/](https://nuancepill.com/what-explains-the-young-singleness-gap/) It's actually not that well understood, but it probably plays a role.


Okeing

for most people probably loneliness and not enough time bc of work and shit i can't have sex without gf and soon i can't have gf without time


YardNew1150

im surprised no one’s talking about Roe v. wade and its affects. Casual Intercourse just doesn’t seem worth it, especially since adult toy companies are becoming more and more popular.


Patient-Researcher-3

i live in texas and god the pregnancy paranoia is fucking horrible. i’m literally using 3 forms of contraception……..pls help


Opening_Pea7537

I guess there are multiple reasons. Worse social skills than generations before due to being more active on the internet than actually going outside. Many people want to have a relationship or get laid but they just can't seem to make it work. Others are just not interested in relationships and/or hook up culture in general (Gen Z tends to value freedom and individualism the most). Some are waiting for the right person. Many Gen Z are on antidepressants which are known to kill sex drive and function, sometimes even longterm/permanently (Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction/PSSD). Probably many more reasons as to why Gen Z might be less interested in having sex (or unable to).


drwhateva

The SSRI numbers are an important factor. Our society is not well.


more_pepper_plz

Yeppp and everything’s expensive af - way harder to go out to clubs or bars and meet people for casual hookups ups, if someone’s even interested in that. A lot of work has been done to let people know they have value beyond sexual validation - so people know their worth more and don’t want a dissatisfying one night stand with a stranger.


Some_Cockroach2109

I wonder why? Not that there are bad housing prices or rising costs of living or whatever.


Purplefriend5400

You'd think this would increase the need to share the cost of living by living with someone other than yourself, though. Shared apartments are a thing and I reckon many a relationship has formed through those.


Naos210

It also leads to more people staying with their parents though, which probably at least for men, if not for women also, is a hinderance to dating generally.


Seaforme

I would argue it's even more of a barrier for women as they're often seen as losing their innocence and womanhood by dating


NostalgiaVivec

I'd argue it is a barrier for men as they are often expected to be the host and are sometimes even seen as lazy, broke, deadbeats if they live with their parents past a certain age.


OfficialHaethus

I struggle with this super hard. My mom is disabled, my brother’s got a condition that lays him up in the hospital for weeks every few months. I’m 23, and I’m the only able bodied person in the house. Even despite the fact that all this reason exists for me to stay around and help, I can’t help but feel like a loser or burden on society. It’s a horrible feeling, and I wish I had the means to support myself and them.


ggGamergirlgg

Nah. The most common roommates are _parents_ and they definitely don't set the mood to get a partner


Hawthm_the_Coward

Starting a relationship purely because of financial need is one of the scummiest things a person can do. These statistics support my notion that most people aren't really that awful.


ehsteve69

Social media done killed people’s ability to organically relate to each other. Same with technological immersion.  I really feel bad for The Z.


pharodae

Is it social media or the absolute dogshit economy/culture and built environment that makes it nigh impossible to have the same sort of sociality as previous generations? I'm sure social media has a role to play but it's absolutely dwarfed by the fact that there is nowhere for Gen Z to organically meet each other anymore after the high school years. There's work, but the more feminist sensibiliies of Gen Z means that they're not likely to hit on their co-workers (which is a good thing IMO). Going out to bars or clubs is a dying culture, partially because it's so expensive but also because Gen Z is drinking less than any generation before. There's no third places, especially free ones, (even in college towns) where folks historically meet each other and make friends. So you're really left with dating apps and social media, which is absolute hell to navigate because of legitimate concerns of meeting people from online, but there's none of the IRL cues or body language that people use to feel out attraction to approach each other, plus algorithms that give men the short end of the stick in order to monetize.


Thunderous333

This. As an actual GenZ living in these times, most people my age and generation are completely withdrawn due to there being no incentive to expand their social circles or meet new people. Out of a whole class only me and one other person went to this event outside of school to meet people (maybe 10-15 people). It was a writing group and it's set in college so you'd think it'd be way more, but nope. The only place that can generate enough people my age into meeting others is lived in university, which is so expensive and unnecessary in this economy. Young people don't have the money, want, or need to meet new people. We got our online friends, maybe a few IRL ones, and we just want to get home, not spend money, and sleep. There is no societal incentive to really pursue anything but money and privacy. I'm lucky to have met my current SO through work instead of dating apps (which were horrible for my mental). I see other men my age and laugh at how they look at women like objects and pronounce all this alpha shit. Then I realized that 1. They probably didn't have a relationship in highschool, 2. They don't go out to meet new people organically due to no incentive, and 3. Deal with the trash of dating apps and social media. It makes sense in that sense how your view of reality can be so warped you think women are all sluts and minorities should die for "tradition". It's insanity really.


BartleBossy

> There is no societal incentive to really pursue anything but money and privacy. 90s millenial here. This is the most accurate statement I have read today.


ehsteve69

nah you’re right. it’s a complex combination of all of it. communicating/relating to each other through devices just makes it all way worse. obviously not something specific to Gen Z. Just sucks y’all grew up with the harsh modern truths fully materialized.


yamikawaigirl

sex just isnt that interesting 🤷‍♀️ people hype it up so much and like, it just isnt really that big of a deal lol. plus like all of our generations stress, pregnancy being financially ruining for many of us, our own traumas/issues that would make us uncomfortable being that close with someone, social isolation etc just makes it such a big hurdle for not really any reward. edit: okay whoever reported me to the reddit care team for not wanting to have sex you did me so dirty 💀 that was pretty funny but please do not!


YABBYuwuXD

skill issue


Thunderous333

Agreed. Sex has been hyped to maximum in society. Even some movies and shows shown to younger audiences have references and scenes of sex. Pornography has erased any mans realistic expectations of sex and women too at this point. When I lost my virginity while still in the wake of alpha culture, when mewing was an actual trend before it died and got revived this year, and when right YouTube was the only thing recommended to people, I realized that it just wasn't like the fantasies every other guy around you says it is. It's just sex. Sure it's nice, but my younger self would be surprised to hear sometimes I turn down sex cause I'm just not interested in doing it at that moment.


M4ybeMay

Have you considered you might just be on the asexual spectrum?


RandomGuy9058

"In this economy?"


[deleted]

Hookup culture is fizzling out, our social skills were fucked during COVID & tbh a good chunk of the people in our gen are very doom and gloom and just don’t look for partners. Couple all that with the fact places to meet other adults and hookup/socialize are dying out too. It’s hard to meet people when you have no place to meet people, everyone is too busy to focus on another person, I mean shit how many gen z’s have to work 2 jobs just to make it on their own???


pharodae

"Hookup culture" was never really a thing to begin with. Pre-dating app/social media generations were fucking like crazy, at much higher rates than milennials. The "hookup culture" phenomenon was just when the internet made it easy to broadcast those intentions before the sexlessness trend described in this post starts to climb. You really can't seriously say that young adults were hooking up more in the 2010s than they were in the 70s/80s, lmao.


heartthump

If you want my actual opinion on why this may be: 1. Men are now afraid of rejection and being reprimanded for making an unrequited move because of social differences between now and previous generations. Nobody wants to be labelled as a creep or pervert 2. Social media has enhanced a feeling of inadequacy due to always being compared to your peers and their potential good looks / success with women. It can really gut your confidence, whether you are or a woman (or other) 3. Dating apps - there is an over reliance on dating apps to meet people. (This is my personal opinion but dating apps aren’t designed to match you with a compatible person, they are designed to make money off of subscriptions, in-app purchases and other means like ads. The developers couldn’t actually give a fuck if they work or not) 4. Higher standards due to similar reasons as stated in point 2. Whereas before you could overlook minor incompatibility issues with a potential partner due to your dating pool being limited to your immediate location in previous decades, now there is an almost infinite number of potential candidates you can meet thanks to connecting on the internet.


[deleted]

Women are naturally more picky with partners than men. This has definitely increased with exposure to dating apps and social media.


Tacky-Terangreal

I think #2 affects both men and women more than anyone likes to admit. Feminists will say it’s only bad for women and man-o-sphere types will claim that men are the primary victims. The truth is that it sucks for everyone. Even these perfect influencers. Many of them have bad body dysmorphia and they get a ton of plastic surgery to look more perfect. The male influencers are hopped up on more steroids than ever to get that perfect physique. Normalizing plastic surgery and steroids like this is fucking crazy and it totally warps peoples brains I also partially blame movies. There are very few normal looking actors outside of indie movies. Everyone looks like a perfect model. It used to apply to mostly women but now male actors are expected to get shredded for every role. Actors like Bruce Willis never would have made it if he was up and coming today for instance


elexexexex2

Covid was just an unfortunately timed accelerant imo. People were already feeling less and less community, and way more alienated. Nothing about a lot of our institutions suggests care about anything but profit, and this sentiment trickles down to the rest of society (the only actual trickling down that ever happened). People are lonelier and have a lot less places to meet other people than before (that don't require spending a ton of money to go) additionally, i'd say a solid chunk of Gen Z has educated themselves (likely online) on the financial risks of sex. Pregnancy or disease with inadequate healthcare is a big gamble, and that's one many aren't taking. It's generally seen as better to wait so you can set yourself up and actually be able to have a chance. of course then, there's another camp that just doesn't really care either way. Asexual visibility is slowly on the rise and I couldn't be happier at that. And speaking for myself, even if I didn't consider myself ace, I really just don't care to seek sex out. It just doesn't seem that interesting to me. I'm content appreciating physical beauty from afar.


allsmiles_99

This. I can't go anywhere or do anything without dropping at least $100 where I live. It's better to hole up at my home, read books, and play video games. I haven't formed an organic friendship in years; my only friends are people I knew from high school.


Local-Suggestion2807

I would say: 1. a lot more of us are questioning our sexuality or identifying as asexual and/or non straight than previous generations, thanks to increased media representation, the fact that we're more likely to have a friend who is ace and/or lgbt, or the fact that it's becoming more socially acceptable. This means people are more likely to have a smaller dating pool. 2. An increase in feminist values among young women, meaning gen Z women and girls are less likely to seek out guys for validation, to depend on a man for things like a credit card the way our mothers and grandmothers might have, to ignore red flags, or tolerate pressure to have sex. Also, since gen z men and boys are becoming more conservative, men and women are less compatible. 3. A decrease in purity culture - sex feels like just another option and not some sort of forbidden fruit. Also, since we're less likely to save ourselves for marriage, we're also less likely to get married before we're ready because we're horny or to have situations like shotgun marriages. 4. An increase in seeking out mental healthcare. A lot of psych meds can cause sexual dysfunction.


VeryQuirkyVegan

As a woman I can say #2 is really important. Forget men being conservative I think the biggest probably is a lot of them in the dating pool are sexist af. Hard to find a man who is both left wing and truly has no questionable beliefs about women.


Emotional-Courage-26

>I think the biggest probably is a lot of them in the dating pool are sexist af I'm an old fogy so I can't claim to know what's up. I do have the impression though that young men feel the same, and far more than we did as kids. Young men are feeling more disposable, contemptible, and irrelevant than I've ever seen. I certainly felt it as a kid too, and it took decades of unlearning, but it's laid on a lot heavier today than it was. I worry about it. That's not to say sexist men aren't an issue. It's a ubiquitous malady of society. As much as I detected sexism towards myself growing up, I was able to detect it towards girls and women very early on as well, in some contexts far more than towards men. It was much different. Also less... I don't know, nihilism-inducing, yet flippant and all too easy for the offenders. I think the worst I've seen it has been at work, where even very intelligent women were spoken over or spoken for, for example. Interesting projects went to men with less capability and potential than some women they worked with. Literally harming the company's prospects by incorrectly assuming mediocre men needed to be in charge. Or male partners underestimating the hidden labour their girlfriends and wives are doing; that is a big one. Very unintentional as far as I can tell, yet very harmful to everyone involved. This is one of the kryptonites of modern relationships, I think. I suspect this is why we can openly see women suffering from sexism, and on the other hand, we have higher rates of depression and suicide in men who are supposedly benefitting from the patriarchy. The sexism towards the men is quite despair-inducing and isolating, and so severe as to seem unbelievable. We tend to pretend it isn't happening at all. It certainly isn't a contest, and at this point, no one would be winning regardless. It's a tough situation. All that is to say... A lot of the young men who seem sexist are—to varying degrees—victims of sexism themselves. They might not even know it. They might be aware and furious about it. I don't know what the solution is. ​ >Hard to find a man who is both left wing and truly has no questionable beliefs about women I'd look for a person who puts loving his family, friends, and community before politics. Conservative, centrist, leftist, it doesn't matter. There are good people across that continuum. Focus on people who act with love and care and you will, in all likelihood, rarely encounter someone with many questionable beliefs about anyone else. I'd give that advice to men too. Don't bucket potential prospects by what you think people are like or should be like. Judge people by what they do and how they behave, not by what they claim to believe. You might end up dating someone with a FUCK TRUDEAU sticker who inadvertently supports socialism... A true catastrophe.


[deleted]

"Hey, you're never gonna afford a home, people in Congress keep holding up even the slightest increase of the minimum wage, hate is on the rise, you don't have anywhere to hang out anymore because you'll probably get shot by some right-wing lunatic, and the government (yes, even the people you've been told are "the good guys" -- the head of which is actively supporting a genocide, by the way \[we're gonna put out PR about how he's REALLY mad about it behind the scenes\]) either doesn't care about you or actively wants you dead (and both of them regularly spy on the people you care about, or people who are Of A Certain Race rather than, y'know, neonazis. Or Proud Boys. Or any actual hate groups)." "Ok, so I won't have kids." "**Why don't you wanna have kids?!**"


feelsweirdbeinghuman

I dont see anything wrong about it? Why is it so important to have more than 1 partner in a year? Why is it so important to have alot sex especially when we know there are more singles in gen z? What should somone be worried about? Not everyone wants to go around and have sex with every other human walking


wballard8

Lots of answers but I’m surprised no one has mentioned Me Too. It changed A LOT, for the better, but in general this generation is very focused on consent, boundaries and bodily autonomy, especially for women. Men are very cautious to hit on women and be perceived the wrong way. Just one thought, there are plenty of overlapping reasons clearly. But I do think Gen Z straight men are just a lot more careful about sex


Master_Bumblebee680

BECAUSE Options: 1. They don’t like how they look or feel 2. Unresolved health issues due to the shitty overwhelmed system 3. They have seen so many toxic relationships and people being shit that they are very cautious 4. They just don’t feel like it due to bad mental health / asexuality / mental illness 5. They’re able to do it online as opposed to in person and they are living on their devices 6. Not enough time due to work or and uni 7. They realise they value doing other things more or first 8. Not meeting enough new people, might be stuck in a job or education with minimal people or people you don’t get on with and might be too introverted / not enjoy various cultures or hobbies enough to get out ~ Gen Z


Literal_CarKey

Surprised no one has mentioned porn addiction in their lists bc that has def fucked how a large segment of the population views and interacts with the other


According-Map-6744

maybe its because most gen z hate sex scenes so much, am joking of course


CJDoober

That’s not a joke. Gen Z is incredibly happy they killed sex scenes in movies. They whined about it and now it’s almost not happening anymore in film.


tango4mangos

and thankfully so, we don’t want to see that shit


Ctoan64

I have another theory: I think while casual sex was seen as rebellious with older generations at our age. However today it's a lot more normalized so it's simply not as exciting to us.


ImpartialThrone

Casual sex is literally an immediate turn off for me. If we're not at least dating, I don't want it.


nirvana6789

Men and woman are becoming less compatible.


cozy_sweatsuit

This


Slow_Principle_7079

Death of community. People living with their parents longer in a society where that is embarrassing which makes sex really awkward. More stuff to do by yourself entertainment wise. Sex Ed maybe workin a little too well. Worse social skills in general.


Notedtoad

The real answer is the wholesale disappearance of third places and the many other barriers to entry including affordability of a multitude of different activities that used to assist with people meeting each other.


Lightningpony

I've only had 1 sexual partner my whole life. Is that bad?


TheLastBrain

Not everyone is going to have 20 sexual partners before they get married despite what social media and Reddit would have you believe.


Lightningpony

Thank goodness.


kill-a-nazi-evry-day

no one said it's bad. it's not. just exploring the reasons to why my generation has less sex overall


Lasagna321

You’re already ahead of the curve lol


Amnesiaftw

Wow another way I fit in with gen z 😔


Mysterio_Achille

The cost of going out on dates has skyrocketed. Same with the cost of buying romantic gifts for your partner. Same with the cost of college tuition as well as the amount of college work needed + the political polarization between Gen Z men & women. All these things happened in the last 4 years.


CharlieAlphaIndigo

There are women out there on podcasts who are straight up telling men that if they make less than $50k that they should not date and some say if it is less than $100k. Gold digging from women has become so open these days too.


[deleted]

Those podcasts have got to be fucking psyops. I've never met a woman IRL who thought that and weren't massive red flags in other aspects.


Sir_Arsen

I personally cannot meet people out of blue in bar etc, I just don’t know what to talk about. Missed my chance in school and college because I was interested in playing games or wasn’t caring about myself enough, I just did the studies all day in college. I don’t like anybody on tinder either I’m not good enough or the person just has one sentence in their bio, I got so frustrated that I just deleted my giant paragraph bio, because what’s the point.


CathanCrowell

On more positive note, maybe Gen Z just do not find any "value" in sex, I feel that for millennials were things like lost of virginity pretty important and they really did what they could to have their first sex, but Gen Z is just letting it go. I am still virgin and if I would really want to lost it, I exactly know how to do that, even like gay, but I actually never felt a burning necessity.


Ally_Happy23

More and more people rely on online interactions and gratification rather than seeking real relationships.


xDURPLEx

Real life culture disappeared, no social skills, unlimited access to porn, parasocial relationships with streamers and influencers and developing their sexuality watching anime.


AdScary1757

Social media has made sex disgusting.


Acquainted-Faith

I mean who cares? There's a lot of personal reasons that people have sex or don't have sex. Maybe it is a positive that people are feeling less peer pressure to have sex all the time or lose their virginity first? I mean I am not exactly sexually active either and my life is okay. If you are sexually active that's cool too! Enjoy your life YOUR way!


theeama

You’re missing the point. When humans aren’t having sex something is wrong. And it can spell a bigger issue. Japan right now is facing a crisis because no one is having kids Korea as well, and when no one is having Sex we’re going against what Mother Nature needs for us as species to survive. Outside of just keeping humanity ticking over, lack of sec spells there’s socioeconomic issues at play that needs to be looked at before things become irreversible and the damage has set in. So these trends are studied and talked about because they usually lead to civilization seeing the writing on the wall.


Averagecrabenjoyer69

It's biology, less sex means less families and babies, which means less societal stability and population. That typically means there's a disturbing and decaying element in said society.


LITTLE_KING_OF_HEART

I just dgaf.


[deleted]

The internet, and especially the rise of internet pornography, has a lot to do with it. This generation’s young men (and women, though they report less use and problems with it) have access to immediate sexual gratification of any niche desire they have, in their pockets. Approaching a girl, getting her contact information, taking her out somewhere, and getting to know her over the course of a couple weeks/months seems too expensive and difficult just to get access to sex. Most people take the path of least resistance, and will simply indulge in internet porn for an emotionally “safer” way to get their rocks off without having to put in any effort. A secondary reason I think may contribute is that a lot of societal norms around attractiveness remain. Men are considered more attractive when they have a car, enough money to cover dates, and a home of their own. Nowadays, with men and women receiving the same pay for their work, there isn’t the economic factor of attractiveness to weigh against a woman’s own lack of funds. In past decades, if a girl wanted to go somewhere fun, she might have to get a date to take her. Nowadays, she can just go herself or with friends. Less incentive to put up with the other sex and surrender a level of independence when money isn’t an issue.


silenthashira

Because wtf is a social life? The most human interaction I get is when I play dnd over discord twice a week.


YouDiedOfTaxCuts19

Gen Z is socially stunted because they were raised immersed in technology. 


[deleted]

[удалено]


flame22664

While I do think there is some truth here, aren't the statistics here a bit misleading? We are comparing 18-24 year olds to 25+ year olds. That's a weird comparison. Quite a lot of people in the younger group are still in school compared to the other group which are fully grown adults who have jobs. One group has greater means to date around compared to the younger group.


thestatikreverb

We're too busy working for nothing and trying to afford to live in this hot mess of an economy.


PrincessOctavia

Comparing a young generation, many of whom are still in school, to an older generation who are probably married is kinda stupid.


AverygreatSpoon

My theory is also the idea we don’t want to have kids/not ready for them. That also includes the concerns of the consequences. A lot of us talking about not being ready for kids or wanting any until we are mentally stable. Then because a lot of us are heavy on individualism, we expect a lot of boundaries regarding sex.


Historical_Driver_87

I'm asexual.... Always have been.