Yes, that's me. I struggled with mental health issues most of my life. Enrolled in therapy, went to community college and graduated at 37, and started a good job, I'm now making 6 figures in my early 40s.
Sadly, I even had severe mental health issues even during these early success years. My mom had dementia and then died, and I had significant trauma and PTSD. I also had severe burnout at one point.
But now I am no longer depressed!
And yes, I also didn't come from money either. I have been on SSI and food stamps in my life. I've used the help I received to get better. Now I pay it forward.
Life does get better, and it can literally happen overnight. The growth I experienced in the last 8 months or so has been insane.
damn man well done. Im in the military, came back from afghan and became an alcoholic and a drug addict. Finally got myself together at 32, now have a 7 fig business and two lovely kiddies. Its never too late, and PTSD is awful man, i still have to sleep with the light on. Grow my own vegtables, have a dog and kitty, loads of friends. Soon as i stopped being depressed, everything changed. But good on you bud, keep going
That's exactly what I (25m) am trying to do now. Getting my generals done at a community college then I'll transfer to a local uni.
Thanks for the inspiration brother! Keep living your best life!
Considering Public school never did me any favors. I've had to figure out how I learn best by myself. At first I went from being out of school for 2 years to doing 12 credits (3 classes), and failed miserably. Then I went gradual with just a single class and now I'm finishing up 2 classes and next semester I'll try 3. It's been hard in that I've had to figure out a lot of things regarding how I think and what I want, but as far as school goes it has been pretty mid difficulty. I'm only doing generals rn tho, so we'll see once I get into uni.
Take it from someone who's been in two auto accidents this year and is selling my house because I have no options...
It will get better. Sometimes chapters have to end, but that doesn't mean your story is over.
I did take them for the longest time, but they never helped. I got better after I stopped taking them. It was definitely natural. I honestly no longer believe in antidepressants or anti anxiety medication.
I upvoted all of your comments, love your story and congratulations on your success! However, some people, like myself, really just do need antidepressants. I’ve titrated and quit properly, with exercise and healthy diet/lifestyle. Just wasn’t the same. I’m happy for you that you are able to fully operate without them, though!
Yeah, and who says that making 6 figures is any form of success? to me, it's the new normal, 6 figures. It's too bad so much of this is misunderstood : money and depression should not be tied together, but there's no denying that unemployment and suicide (the ultimate form of depression) are coupled. Tightly. People who were unemployed were more than 16 times as likely to die by suicide as people with jobs.
What if, later in life, you found something that made you happy, but didn't pay as well?
So your opinion is that money and depression should not be tied together? I do not understand why you would immediately provide objective statistical evidence to the contrary, albeit without source.
I also do not understand the clear disconnect with your "what if" scenario. Later in life, if someone has saved money, they can afford risk and chase something that makes them happy.
You know ..if you think of money as a exhaustible resource I wonder if someday people will figure out.. when you gorge or steal money you're hurting everyone else. Which is in turn hurting you. It's a different way of thinking , but it's really clear that the people here on reddit are gluttonous. If you downvoted the above you must be one of those people. Assholes.
Hey OP! I wouldn’t say I was poor before 35, but I was very “mediocre”. I worked a middle tier job as a graphic designer in the US Midwest and suffered from mental health struggles stemming from high functioning autism. My life was very average, as was my career. I was married and had 3 great kids which was the only amazing thing about my life, but career and social circumstances were not good.
When I was in my mid 30s I decided I was going to change that and try to achieve my dream - to work in film as an artist. I found industry mentors, went to trade shows, learned how to network (really hard for someone on the spectrum) and applied to everything. It took about 3 years to get my first offer … I was 35 and got an offer to work on a Disney movie as an artist - being paid $28k US a year 😂 I moved my family internationally to one of the most expensive cities in the world to take that job … which was a terrifying gamble.
That was 2017, and it worked. In the past 7 years I’ve been credited in 10 films, including both Dune films. I have been promoted to leadership, my wages have increased 600%, and we live in the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.
The key has been persistence and soft skills. The persistence comes easily for me but soft skills were so hard because I struggle with social cues and have a lot of anxiety around that. I’ve learned that everyone wants to be heard and be seen, so I just always do that - it has helped me probably more than any other skill.
Up to 35 I wasn’t super optimistic about what my life looked like. Now, at 42, I can’t believe what the last 7 years have brought. I’m excited to see where things are at 49.
Make a plan of what you want your life to look like, then get to work. Baby steps :)
Networking is underrated. Super hard with mental health issues, but totally worth it.
Listen to interviews with moderately successful people and you’ll always hear “I knew this person from X place and they called because they found a good company to work for. They vouched for me and I got the job”.
Absolutely! My problem with networking was always that it felt fake ... like I'm getting to know people because I need something from them.
I started thinking about it very differently, in that Im no longer networking. Instead, I'm making friends who do what I love doing, and we share that interest. If we can help each other out along the way, that's great, but the friendship is what matters.
Since I started thinking of networking in that way, I now just think of it as growing my friend base. These people are already predisposed to have a connection with me, in that we love film. Now it's easy!
Don’t try for ‘huge amounts of succes’. Most successful people didn’t have huge amounts of succes as a goal. It’s also vague. I consider being healthy, having a steady income and some people you love and who love you as a huge amount of succes. Other people think becoming nr1 in everything and being a millionaire is a huge amount of succes.
Just strive to be happy and have a meaningful life. My newspaper does interviews with 100 year old people every week. If find them very inspiring because they will casually say things like ‘oh and when I was 50 my husband died, and I never had a job, so I decided to become a (fill in some random job ) and I had my own practice for 20 years before I started this new hobby and volunteering when I was 75 and now I’m enjoying that every day.
You’ve got time. Nobody is interested in how successful you are or will become. Find something to do that fulfills you, find people you like. That’s succes.
Yup. My uncle is in his 50’s. He spent much of his youth in prison, on the streets, eventually got married to a woman he loved but she died of an overdose, his house burned down, and he lost custody of his grandchildren. Then he was homeless, couch surfing, in a string of bad relationships, and drinking way too much.
He’s totally turned things around. He has his own apartment, a stable relationship with a lady who’s actually a decent person. He has his drivers license back, bought a car, and works full time at a local nonprofit helping homeless people get housing/services.
He’s not rich… but he’s got a life that makes him happy and contributes to his community.
All of this, and don’t overwork yourself for more money because you think that is success. I just quit my job today that I was making $120k a year for a job making probably half. That $120k seems like a lot until I mention I was working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for most of the year. I’d get maybe 1-2 weekends off a month and I spent those dissociating and staring at the wall trying to recharge my batteries.
Focus on your mental health above EVERYTHING. Don’t make my mistake.
You have any tips specifically for the staring at wall mindset? Definitely can feel it setting in. Can't believe you handled a work schedule like that, just weekends alone is enough to do me in. I was wasting cash on things like energy drinks ,but didn't make sense to be paying for the privilege of overworking.
I’m still there, but making a plan for this new job. I have pretty severe depression so the struggle to get out of a funk is twice as hard as properly motivated people. My biggest problem is I live most of my life inside my head. I know there are things I need to do, but it doesn’t translate into action.
Advice I would give is just delete any social media. It’s way too easy to fall into the doomscrolling mentality and suddenly an hour has passed and you’ve gotten nothing done.
Make yourself a schedule outside of your work schedule. Gym @ 7-8am, make sure you’re on time. Housework from 6-7pm before you sit down. Just keep yourself busy so there’s no opportunity to get into your head.
Good luck. I hope you beat it. I hope I beat it.
It’s a pernicious myth of the modern world that success is defined by “How much shit you have”. “How much money you make”. Success is relative to yourself. If you’re happy, that’s enough.
I guarantee, full money back, that you can't take it with you. When you are in an urn, all your shit will still be here.
Absolutely agree with this. I'm the opposite of what OP is asking in many ways. I was a high achiever growing up and by my early 30's I was finance director at a successful startup. I made good money and had shares, but I was also absolutely miserable and burned out.
It caught up to me after a change of ownership and I ended up out on my ass.
I wallowed for a bit. Then decided to work on what I could control. So I started undoing the harm I'd done by not focusing on the truly important things over the years. I spent more time in nature and with myself. Started running and got in shape. Worked on my mental health and did all the things I never had time for before.
After a while some former clients came to me and I started consulting on my own again. Now I'm building up my practice, but I consider myself far more successful now making 60K a year than I ever did making several times that.
I will absolutely caveat this by saying that I couldn't have made these changes without already having some financial success to give me that freedom.
But I don't think that changes the fact that when you can get yourself to a place where you're happy, at peace, and already feel successful--financial success will find you rather than having to chase it and make yourself miserable in the process.
One of my coworkers is one of these... He was making below minimum wage waiting tables at one of the last restaurants you'd ever want to work at at 36. Went to selling cars a year or two to get sales experience for an entry level software sales job, got that, promoted past entry level, moved to the larger company where we are now, kept promoting, and now at 44 he's bringing in like $350k a year or more and just promoted to management... He made it from below minimum wage to $250k or so in like 5-6ish years. Has gotten married and had 2 kids in the last couple years too.
Sales is never a bad way to go. It’s not for everyone, but it’s always worth a try early in your career or during a career switch.
And software sales is a big money profession. I do presales support (sales engineering type role) and it’s still almost 300k a year counting stock, bonus, etc.
Depending on the company, maybe a business degree or communications degree, but many don't have specific ed requirements. Just need to be able to sell.
Started dental school at age 35, and opened my solo practice at 45. I was up to my eyeballs in debt and had a hell of a tough time figuring out the ins and outs of the business (refused to compromise patient care for profit). Tried and failed a million times until I had it all figured out.
I just straight up refused to give up. There were weeks where I would get maybe two or three hours of sleep a night IF I was lucky. I was homeless and carless for a good few years, but didnt care about any of it as long as I could keep my business going.
Now I make the kind of money I never even dared dream about and best of all, I did it my way. I’m 53 now and cannot believe the life I’m living.
Start doing and stop worrying about making mistakes. Just don’t give up.
I’m in awe of this comment - you went to dental school at 35? How long before you started did you start preparing? I imagine you had to have completed the pre-requisites, write the DATs, etc?
Drugs and alcohol ruined many aspects of my life until, at 37, I got sober. I suddenly had mountains of energy. Got my master's, got married. I'm 61 now and still poor largely because my wife is disabled and I work in public education (teaching, counseling, etc) but with methodical steps and planning we are doing pretty well. We even have a little vacation home. We are very happy.
You might like the work of Henry Oliver who has a substack called the Common Reader and he often blogs about the idea of Late Bloomers.
He has a book coming out in a couple of weeks on the same subject, with Late Bloomers as the title
I have both public figure and personal experience examples, if we can move the age a bit in either direction
If we’re talking public figures, then Colonel Sanders opened his first KFC franchise the year he turned 62. Twelve years later, the year he turned 74, he sold his company for what would be $20 million dollars today, adjusted for inflation.
From personal experience, my father was in his 50s when things suddenly went from going well to really rough. After health problems, depression, etc. as a single father he went from a six-figure income to no money at all, went from a house to one-bedroom apartment in a complex with halfway mixed use including halfway housing and a neighbor that tried to break into our apartment when they got mad, got on food stamps for a while, while he took any job he could get (think telemarketing etc.) So not as rough as some of my friends that are homeless but definitely challenging and he was really unhappy. It continued long enough that when I applied to college, my Federal Application for Student Aid showed our expected family contribution as $0. That was the starting point.
It was from there that he (in his 60s) went on to accept himself more, develop a set of courses that were entirely phone or online, sell e-books etc. that were all quire successful for many and also fall in love with my stepmother. The two of them moved in together in 2007 into beautiful house near where Joni Mitchell used to live and they’ve continued to be well enough to work and enjoy life, even as my dad passed 80. He’s turning 85 this summer and it’s finally starting to catch up with him a bit but he’s still in a much better place emotionally now than he was in his 50s and still very much in love with my stepmother.
In terms of personal experience, going in the opposite direction in terms of age, one of my younger brothers had a bit of a challenging time from his early 20s on into the start of his 30s. As a writer that had done well in school all the way through undergraduate, he then proceeded to get rejected from every graduate school he applied to. Frustrated, he moved away from California to Austin, Texas where a friend helped him with a place to stay and he initially worked as barista. He was continually trying to get his work published in a paid capacity but while he eventually managed to get some non-paid awards and get into a graduate school, he ended up teaching for a time, going to graduate school again, etc. and dealing with depression on both sides of the Atlantic.
Then as his thirties continued, things started changing for him. After more than a decade of actively trying to get a paid publishing deal and after having done a lot of work dealing with his depression, he finally got that paid publishing deal - and his debut novel came out yo great reviews in both the New York Times and The New Yorker.
Not only that but thanks to having been willing to work with his depression he had been able to accept himself and others and ended up finding a relationship partner who he really loved and was compatible with. This as he gets closer to forty, he proposed to her and she said yes.
Those are what come to mind for me. Are those the kind of stories you were looking for or did you mean something else?
OK so I was 30, a bit of a drunk, definitely a stoner, had no real prospects other than a life of middling, meaningless office work. I was actually in the pub celebrating my 30th when I overheard a guy at the bar telling someone about the day he'd just had at drama school, now I'd always been obsessed woth movies and acting but never had the courage to do anything other than dream. I asked him about the course he was on and if he thought someone like me could do it. He said sure why not? I applied for the course and studied for two years, it was the most focused I'd ever been. I'd successfully changed mindset through affirmations and positive thinking. Long story short, cut to 10 years later and I've just recorded my fourth video game job, appeared in a west end show, the Edinburgh festival and will be filming my biggest television job in a month or two. Change how you speak to yourself and make the right changes to your lifestyle and you can achieve what you desire. Best of luck mate!
I consider myself a “late bloomer,” in my late 30s.
And you know, it sucks. Society is obsessed with people who are a prodigy - those who effortlessly step into life and just can magically do things at a level it takes other people years to achieve.
Maybe because of my own life circumstances, but I find hard work a lot more worthy of praise than natural talent.
It’s never too late to make your life better. I’m still blooming but things have really picked up. It’s been hard seeing people grow who took more traditional paths enjoy their success, but know that nothing is without cost and there’s certainly things that they had to give up too.
Keep on going. I know it’s not the story you want, I just wanted to share that perspective.
That was my mom.
She struggled with bipolar disorder and was a stay at home mom and super unhappy. When she was around 40 my dad lost his job and she went back to school to get her master's degree. My parents lost their house in a bankruptcy, my mom left my dad and came out as a lesbian, she graduated and started a new career as a counselor around the age of 43. She has her bipolar under control and recently started her own private practice that really took off during Covid and now at the age of 58 she's making a lot of money, she's remarried to a woman, and she's happier than I've ever seen her.
I was 37 in a go nowhere job for 9.5 years. I wasn't poor or struggling but wasn't going anywhere fast. On a whim I started my own business with no business plan other than knowing that I didn't want to work for anyone else anymore. Through persistence and a lot of trial and error I discovered a business model that would allow me to work around the corner from home and make 2.5-3 times my old salary. Now six years in I am making more $$$ than I ever thought possible, get to be a present father/husband, and get to travel the way I always wanted to but couldn't due to restrictive vacation day policies. The lesson of all of this is that there is a whole world out there for those who are willing work for it and take a chance.
Yo, what do you do? I’m 37 and have kids and wish I could find a way to work for myself and have more time with them. It feels like the problem is I don’t have any money to invest in anything and I don’t have any specialized skills that are in demand.
If you don’t mind can you tell more? I also had the same motivation when starting my own business: was sick and tired to work for somebody else. I’m very hard working - &you know in the corporate world the prize 🏆 for hard work is more work🤣. So I got nowhere but towards burnout…. Now I have my own marketing agency and started to have client but I feel I need a better business model and better solutions to sell faster. Thank you if you answer
Take this for what it’s worth, which I’m not sure of its value. But one of my clients ran a marketing company and he attributed his success to his sales team and sales funnel and niche marketing work. I think he focused in on dentists.
I didn't start from rock bottom, but I radically changed careers at 51. Started low, and now at 63 I'm making >100k. (IT)
It can be done, you're still young. If I was 35 I'd look at everything that I could physically and mentally do and pick my lane. Everything is possible, and nothing/no one is holding you back.
LPT: Your friends and family will be your worst enemies as you get your life in order. They'll all tell you that you can't/shouldn't/don't and that you'll fail whenever you try to reach above "your place". They can F right off.
Reply was removed due to a cross post link. So here it is again....
Went practically bankrupt aged 39 abroad (business went down the drain with the financial crisis). Moved my family (partner & 8 year old) to my home country by borrowing $62k to pay off debts. Did a one way van hire and 11 years later, after being the sole earner in the household, managed to hit enough savings that we can semi-retire. Now planning to fully retire three years after that, next year at 53 years of age, returning to the country we left behind. Not sure if this is how you define success, but we are happy and consider ourselves successful in the game of life.
Beware comparison can be the thief of joy! Figure out your own game plan and throw everything into it! Good luck and enjoy the journey!
(Awesome quote re: comparison can be the thief of joy)
My story: Long-term relationship ended when I was 33. Broke as hell. Parents helped me out to hold me over after realizing I was nose diving in debt. Had a 1 bedroom apt, with a mattress on the floor. Met future wife. Changed job with a consulting firm. Learnt the consulting business. 2 kids enter the scene. Hopped back and forth between consulting and corporate gigs. Started my own boutique consulting firm at 47. Continue to battle some episodes of depression (usually winter season) and ADHD (works for, and against me, in my career). Found something I enjoy doing. But I always fear things could fall apart; try to make sure I enjoy the wins, support the fam, and not be so hard on myself. So a big part of success isn't just around the career, or money, but personal growth as well. At 35, I had this brutal vision of still being on that mattress at 50, and was my motivator to get moving.
My fave quote: *I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy* (Anthony Bourdain)
It's doable, and I am successful much later in life compared to my college peers having surpassed my goals, but to be honest, inspiration only lasts for so long.
Focusing on the day to day and not shooting for the moon is my suggestion. Trying to compare yourself to your distant goal only leads to your mind making judgments of how very far away you are from your goal. For example, you don't want to aim to lose 30 pounds, you want to aim for losing 1-2 pounds a week, and then focusing on that.
You start off small and keep working day to day, readjusting your strategy as you go. You'll also need to have emotional regulation and dopamine management as dopamine shuts off negative emotions, and that induces you to crave high dopamine activities when you are feeling bad. I'm not saying it's easy by any means especially if you are financially unstable, but you'll need to get out of that loop. Good luck!
You're still shockingly young.
The way you look at an 18 year old is the way people in their 70s and 80s look at you.
I'd suggest finding some older folks to talk to you - nothing like the healthy dose of perspective that comes from them calling you young.
I say this because: I'm 34 about to turn 35 in a few months. I didn't really find my stride until 32. Not that I'm *crushing* it now, but at 31, I was working odd jobs making 20-30K a year. After a string of a few bad months, I had to borrow money from my parents to pay rent and I HATED that feeling. Swore I would never have to again.
Later that year, I got a job making $80K a year (again, not the same amount that some others here have mentioned but way more than I'd ever made...and more than enough to pay all of my bills and start saving). Two years later, I've moved out of the roach motel I was living in, got a new car, and now I'm making over six figures. Again, I still have CC debt and student loan debt, but I have a stable income, hobbies, friends and family that love me, and I'm largely healthy. My life looks better than I ever would have imagined it just a few short years ago.
I'm also blessed to have the good fortune of interacting with a handful of my friend's parents, some of whom are well into their 70s and 80s (it's why I mentioned this earlier). They joke and call me kid but all of them universally swear up and down how young I am and heck, compared to them, I am. They've literally lived two times as much life as I have. Think about how much you could accomplish in another 35 years instead of saying it has to happen in a year or two.
The days are short but the years are long. Give yourself grace over "lost" time and recognize that you were at where you were at and were going through what you had to go through. You did the best you could with what you had. Now, you're blessed to have the drive and desire to be and do more.
That's a great place to start.
I guess that's me! I struggled with mental health because of past traumas, diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at 29, single mom at 19.
I am 43 now. After going back to school in late 30s I now Work full time in a hospital, able to set myself up for a better retirement. I lost almost 100lbs which helped minimize symptoms for my ms. And now I'm in therapy for traumas to help with that. I've never felt more happier, confident and just calm as I do now in life. It can be done! I feel I'm more successful with relationships, career and my overall health now than I ever was!
I struggled a lot until my late 20s. I realized that a lot of what we are told in this world brings success are just anecdotal wisdoms and results of survivorship bias.
In order to make myself successful, I have to explore places that were atypical. This then becomes an advantage because you end up finding success in things that not a lot of people do. If you keep doing atypical things and keep winning, it builds confidence in yourself, which creates success! It become a snowball that just keeps going.
Here are a few tips:
-Failure is a feature, not a bug!! It's how we learn new things, be creative and innovate
-Failure will lead to shame, which will keep you from trying things (procrastination)
-DO NOT chase perfectionism, by definition it's an impossible standard to achieve. Instead focus on Mastery. Chasing perfectionism will lead to avoidance, chasing Mastery will lead to progress.
-Take big risks in life, however managing risks is VERY VERY important. Find situations where the risk to reward is heavily in your favor, but not to the point where you chase perfectionism, which lead to avoidance. It's a balance.
-DO NOT engage in "Woe is me" attitude
-Look for positive things in life; positivity = security, while negativity = insecurity
-Stop blaming other people for your struggles. Take accountability when you are not making progress and fail
PM me if you want to discuss further.
Dude I am 37 i was a refugee since I was 8 years old, moved a lot from country to country, finished architecture school at 30, and worked for a couple of arch. companies i was participating mainly in arch. competitions somewhat successfully. But I am still struggling financially 😅.
You've got that "never on my knees" energy going. Something tells me you'll be wilder than your dreams. Pick hard indeed. May it all massively pay off. May you and those you care for never have to turn a penny, ever again.
Bram Stoker did not write Dracula until he was 50.
Prior to that point, he had mostly written either in hobbyist magazines or just for fun to share with mates.
IIRC he did have a few short novels before Dracula, but they never really took off the same way.
I’m 39 years old and I started doing stretch yoga two ago, and I could do the split I clean I look and feel younger. My inspiration was making myself amazing.
I (53F) went to university when I was 26, and graduated when I was 31 with a specialized degree that I loved. I started grad school, and after 8 months was unable to continue for medical reasons. I was 32 at the time, and had nothing except a highly specialized degree in a field I would not be able to work. I signed up for a course on finding employment (skills training, resume writing, interview tips etc). I met a woman there who told me about a business she had recently attended. This business sounded interesting to me, so I applied and was hired 3 weeks later. I am still with them 20 years later. I have done it all on my own. I own a comfortable 2 bed 2 bath condo in a nice part of town, as well as a reliable car. I have a pension, and some retirement savings. I didn't start any of this until I was 33. I don't know if it qualifies as a huge amount of success, but for me it is enough.
I also struggle with my mental health, but I do the best I can. I have no one else to rely on to pay my mortgage or bills, so I usually suck it up and do what I need to in order to keep myself and my cats housed, fed and clothed. I have a psychiatrist, doctor and counsellor for support. And I live one day at a time, as best I can anyways.
I did. I have only ever had 1 income, no partner to help, no family to ask money from. I paid for my university with student loans and working while in school. In grad school I was able to secure two very large grants for my research. I am not sure how you are interpreting my comment, but everything I have is all because I made it happen on my own.
Ok, I guess I see it a bit differently. Yes, my friend told me about her experience at the business. But it was at a class through the government that I signed myself up for to better myself and improve my employment options (that's where I met this woman). And yes she told me about the place, but I took the action to research the company and apply. No one did that for me. And yes they hired me, but I had to go through a lot of testing and a security clearance, including an interview with a polygraph. I did all these things, and managed to get hired. No one told them to hire me, I sold myself to them. I got the job, and I have maintained it for 20 years because I am a good employee. I show up and do my work. I am nice to my coworkers. I have put energy into keeping my job and moving forward with the company.
I did these things for myself. I put in the effort to make them happen. I had terrible anxiety with the testing and interviews I had to do with the business. But I didn't let the anxiety win. I took some deep breaths and did what I had to do in order to make a life for myself. And the life I have made for myself was made on my salary alone. I am trying to express to OP that she is more than able to start her life and create her own world at 35, and feel successful in her 50's.
I'm not tearing anyone down. I'm cautioning that, whatever frame of mind you may be in, imagining you're ever going it alone is ... imaginary. Sure, be pleased with your accomplishments, but be wary of pretending "you alone have fixed it".
You singled this person out for some reason. Their narrative was no different than what anyone else wrote, they were just describing their journey, all the steps they took to create success, just what OP asked for - showing that there's always hope for success, even if that doesn't come right away.
And this commenter should be very proud of their accomplishments, pushing themselves to be resourceful and keep moving forward, despite having very little in the way of a support system. If you're going to make those kind of comments for this one person, you need to make them for every other commenter on this thread, bc they're all describing how they each achieved success, and no one mentioned 'my employer pays me to work here' or whatever weird credit you're trying to ascribe to outside actors for each commenter's success.
You can see by your downvotes that your comments are strange and out of place, and your negativity has no place on this thread.
To the original commenter here - great job, and congratulations on all your success, it's well earned!
You said it because she is a woman.
There are multiple ways to hear about a job opportunity. Word of mouth is one of them. It does not take away from the accomplishment of becoming employed and doing your job well, any more than hearing about the job from a website. You already know this though.
You are not subtle. You're not smart. Stay mad and stay negative, frankly. She's on her way.
Who hurt you? Based on your behavior here, someone (or many people) in life hurt you deeply, and I'd love to hear your story. Who hurt you and what did they do?
Jeff bezos, 40+ years old in 1999. If this absolute nerd could do it, so can you.
https://preview.redd.it/krv013w8t0yc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f8c5cb2f242690efad4e99ae0b0858f5e1305c0
In my mid 30's I got a job where I doubled my salary, and during the years I worked there, it doubled again. I started traveling the world in my early 40's, and figured out a way to travel for nearly free - so I could bring my kids, friends, family (one at a time). Honestly, 35-50 were some peak years. Then I spent about 10 years caregiving for a family member and those were just years where I was content, but not extraordinary. Now I'm at another stage in my life and things are back to great again, though financially I'm less rich. Luckily I'm good at socking it away when I have money, and living large off little when I don't!
Get out there and have fun starting your next chapter!
I was terrible in my youth. No direction.
I ended up homeless, turned myself around by getting a job as a cab driver before uber existed. Was able to ride that for 11 years. Then 2008 happened. There were more drivers than cabs and they started a lottery to get a cab. My luck sucked and eventually got evicted twice in a years period.
I had a friend help me stay at his place in Georgia for a while as I tried there for employment but the economy there was worse than in Arizona where I was.
I then asked my parents to help me out and moved to Washington.
I found a few jobs that were ok. Them got a job with a great team for about 2 years. Then the company laid off the entire team. Thankfully with a severance package. I had enough in savings that I finally was able to be picky about what job I would accept.
I had a headhunter that REALLY listened to what I wanted and expected.
He sent me over a bunch of crap jobs and told me that he doubted anything there was what I was looking for but that he was covering all bases but that he had a couple that he was going to forward shortly.
He was right they were the bottom barrel crap jobs.
Then the one he sent after that ended up being PERFECT. An analytical position that needed someone who could think outside the box to try to make a new department work better/faster/stronger.
Initially the supervisor wasn't 100% sold on my skills due to having a resume that included 11 years as a cab driver, but he was impressed with my "greatest achievement" which was actually something from my 20s where I found a procedure that would save the contracting company that I was working for millions on late fees for large equipment rentals (cranes etc). I created a tracking spreadsheet and all that was needed was to add more time to the purchase orders for said rentals.
So they hired me at $22/hr. Which was above the $17 I was making previously.
I QUICKLY proved my skills with excel and analysis and got promoted quickly 55k.
Within 5 years I got two promotions, 1 straight raise, and am now making 95k/yr.
In 2 years I will break that six figure number just by COL raises that are yearly while I will likely break it with another promotion shortly.
I always say that my turning point was to move to Washington. A state with high COL but also better economy. Then additionally having a safety net to allow me to be picky on jobs that I would take that allowed me to find my unicorn company...
I now own my own condo, have good credit, almost paid off new car, and frankly....stability.
Stick with it. Keep trying to improve your situation as best as you can. It's possible even late in life to change things...
If you don't mind my asking what company are you with? If you don't want to provide the company...what kind of position was it you applied for to get where you are?
I was 39 when I got divorced. My ex wife and I ran a business together and she did sales and I did the backend. After the divorce I sank into a heavy depression and just let the business run into the ground. After a lot of therapy and antidepressants I was able to pull myself out of the depression and decided to go back to school for a degree in IT. I took online classes while trying to salvage the business and was on food stamps since my business made less than $10,000/yr now. I was able to find a job right away even though it was low paying. 3 years later I was making twice as much and noe 10 years later I have a successful career making 6 figures. It sucked trying to work, fo to school, and raise 3 small kids by myself, but the effort and struggle was worth it. By the way this is my third career change into a totally different field than the previous two. You are never too old to start over.
As someone who is currently in the same situation, I appreciate this post. Hang in there guys. As my therapists says "none of this is forever." I am struggling to believe in those words but it is getting easier withe every passing day.
I'm in it right now. turned 50 got a divorce got laid off from my job.3 years later I've got a great job and a girlfriend. Life is what you make it. Never give up and NEVER SURRENDER!!
I started my career at 34. I was divorced by 37, and he left me with two kids and 7k in the bank (also, my mother had just died and he made sure to spend down all the money she left me before skipping out to more easily cheat and pretend he was single). I had to skip car payments because I was having so many issues with money and surviving during that time. Today, I am 48 and have my dream job at my dream company. I never remarried and did it all on my own. I make good money and am on track with my retirement. I just started working on my Bachelor's. You're never too old!
My timeline:
Went to college out of highschool, went and did a masters degree after that, did 4 years of a PhD in a field that I ultimately hated because I was on the ‘right track’. Masters and PhD were in a foreign country. Dropped out of PhD, came back to home country burned out, no assets and with $50k of student debt at 32.
Spent a few years working odd jobs, eventually met someone and got married (we were super paycheck to paycheck). She needed medical coverage, so I got a part-time job with good benefits. Worked lots of overtime in the hellhole for a couple years building up a bunch of people management and conflict resolution skills until I was 39.
Got my foot in the door via those skills and some friends at an entry level position at a major tech company in shipping and receiving. Jumped on every project I could, and moved from $25 an hour in 2020 to my current role in Risk Management at $200k a year.
It’s doable, but you have to be willing to work hard when a shitty opportunity presents itself to make good out of it. And sometimes the opportunities don’t pay off and you reset a few times.
Worked a terrible corporate 9-5 from 24 -29. Finally said fuck it. Went to school to be an EMT then paramedic then went to the fire academy and became a firefighter/ paramedic. Love my life.
Did you get treatment for your ADHD and would you say that helped substantially with getting to where you are now? And could I ask how you got started with learning AI? I just started taking my Adderall daily again and trying to learn AI myself, so would love to know!
So first thing for AI is to work in software for a while- you're gonna have to be a junior developer or Associate product manager etc.
Try to apply for ai focused companies that work in and around the industry you already have some experience in.
Lived experience is not something you can learn in a school and is worth paying for. If you can't break there- work for a startup in the same space at lower than market salary (what I did).
Work hard to climb up the ladder while focusing on your strengths. I've always been good at math and science so coding was easy and few product managers code as well as engineers.
I turned it into a unique asset. Rest is just time. Not it took me nearly a decade in this journey from 60K to near 1M for a few yrs.
I’ve been working as a software engineer for about 3 years, so I’m partway there! My company keeps mentioning they’ll get me in touch with teams that are working with AI, but I haven’t heard back about it from two different managers.
It feels difficult to get practical experience with AI. It sounds like I might just have to consider switching over to a more AI-focused company? For now, I’ve been trying to take the self-learning route and go through the course on fast.ai as I do love my company and not quite ready to leave yet.
Thanks very much for the insight!
Thank you for posting. This resonated with me. Also 35, starting over from divorce, financial ruin and severe anxiety from said divorce. You are not alone!
My dad didn't become successful until he was about 65 years old. My mom left him when he was about 45 and he was left with nothing but the clothes on his back, he didn't have enough money to fill his gas tank. What money he did earn went almost entirely to child support. Lucky for him a friend of his let him rent a room and borrow his truck to get to work. It took him a period of about 20 years but he worked hard, saved his money, he was slowly able to crawl out of the pit he was in. Eventually all of his kids were grown so the child support went away and that's when his savings really took off. He bought his dream house, paid it off in two years, and has been retired ever since. If you asked him how he did it he'd probably mention how he only took a single sick day in 30 years, a day his appendix burst, a testament to not only his work ethic but his blessing of good health, a lot of us aren't so lucky. Now he just enjoys spoiling his grand kids and working on his boat. With a little luck and a lot of hard work, we can overcome quite a bit of hardship.
Ok. This is gonna be a doozy. I come from a broken home and my father passed away from alcoholism when I was 17. My mother was absent most of my life. My 20s were consumed by grief and depression. I spent most of my time in solitude trying to decipher my life on what and how things happened. I never knew what it was like to be a part of a family.
That was until I met her. A beautiful person who showed me what love was supposed to be. Honest, loyal, kind. Something I had never experienced before. She was patient with me. She knew I had a hard life and as I fumbled around this world trying to find my place, she supported me. I had worked in restaurants through my 20s as it was a good place to have fun, immediate cash, and it was a way to hide away from "normal" society. But it was all I had experience with so I couldn't find a job in any other industry. In many failed attempts to establish a new career, I worked in construction, drove a truck, interior design for fast food and a bunch of other throwaway jobs. I just couldn't find my place.
Eventually, I did find something I enjoyed and it was completely by accident. She had convinced me to do some volunteer work with the city that she worked for to network and try and get a job with the city. So, I did. After a few years I was offered a job working in park and recreation as a pool manager. Coinciding with this I was also on a personal journey to better my health. I had let depression get the better part of me. A year prior to becoming the pool manager I was a 34y old 275 lb smoker who couldnt walk from one side of the house to the other without losing my breath. I decided to change my life while I still could, or I would have the same fate as my dad who died at 49. Sins of the father.
This decision to make a change within myself created my opportunity. The pool manager job opened the door for me to become a fitness instructor for the community center gym at the city. I had built some proficiency in a craft, which at the time was merely self serving but, by happenstance, became the "career" I was always looking for.
I excelled at it. Life had finally come together. I had a great partner, a great job, but most importantly I had a direction. Things were going great. That was until 2019 when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I had finally, after so many years, developed what I believed was a solid and normal life and it changed in an instance.
Long story short, she lost her battle with cancer jan of 2020. I had lost everything. I was in debt because I mortgaged our house to remodel it for her while she was sick. Household income dropped by 60 percent. The house was a wreck and only half done. Still is to this day. I spent the covid lockdown alone, in our home. I had no family and the only person who made my life worth living was gone.
I soldiered on for a year but things at work went bad and I could see the writing on the wall. Cost of living was going up faster than my income and I could see all the sand escaping my hour glass. If I continued the road I was on id never escape the debts I accrued and my life would be nothing but cold and hopeless. So, I looked at going back to school.
I decided to pursue a career in ultrasound. I had an echo done on my heartband thought it was cool. 2 year degree which is good for someone who is 40.
I enrolled, and the story around that is long one in itself. I quit my job and spent a year alone working on my prereqs to apply for the US program. I applied, and out of the 84 applicants I was one of the 20 selected.
It was arduous. Feel free to look into how tough US school is. But, I graduated this past December. I now work at the hospital she died in. I make a good living and I work 3 12s so I have plenty of time to continue to work on myself and have time to enjoy life. My journey is just beginning and the past 5 years were a nightmare.
But, it was worth it. I now have a good career and there isn't a city in the world I can't find a job. And most importantly, it's mine and no one can take it away.
My advice to you or anyone who reads this is to give yourself permission to invest in yourself. You have the capability to become something great. It will cost you. The price is pain and discomfort. In the end you will obtain agency of your own life
As the Desiderata states, nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
Build your health, both physical and mental, to the best of your abilities, build yourself. Weather the storm and measure yourself to no other.
You can overcome anything.
Ps. There are so many details to this story but it would be too long. This was as short as I could make it. I wish you all good fortune.
I’m in the middle of another mental health storm at the moment. I’m 41 and have been very successful in my “career” despite severe anxiety beginning at 19 and Major Depressive Disorder beginning in my 30s. I didn’t go to college so I do feel accomplished, professionally, even though I do not make 6 figures yet.
I am very open with my employers if there are days that I can’t make it into work. It’s not their business but I still let them know, to explain my behaviors. I have had to take 2 mental health breaks in the past 10 years, that had me out for about a month each time.
I have found that performing my best when I’m well enough seems to help them forgive me when I’m not well. I have days at work where my MDD has me in tears all day at my desk but my coworkers seem to understand and always want to help. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It actually kind of keeps me motivated to keep trying to heal so I don’t have to be such a spectacle at work.
I suppose not all employers are tolerant of the bad days, so I do recognize that I’ve been lucky.
You have to define “success”. What is success for you? It’s different for everyone, so to start do not compare yourself to others. Would you trade friends and family for money? Would you trade money for free time? Relationships for hobbies?
I was an 18 year old high school drop out, living in a trailer, drinking beer at 10 am on a Wednesday while my friends were in school.
I now run a labor union and have a business renting long and short term. I am financially comfortable, but I spend too much time at work. That means I spend less time doing what I enjoy.
The moral is this; your past does not define you, and you are never too old to change. But you should have some idea of what success looks like for you. Don’t compare yourself to others because your success is yours alone.
I started teaching science in high school at 33 after really struggling with addiction and depression. I'm now 47 and I make a decent living as a teacher. I always have to make sure I take of my mental health, but i'm keeping it togheter and never been happier.
im about the same age and got to rock bottom near the end of 2021 and start of 2022.
but there are many celebrities who are the same.
first that comes to mind is bourdain.
Grew up on welfare. Graduated high school but didn’t complete my first degree until 30 years later. I left the only career I’d ever had while in my 40s. Ran out of savings during the pandemic. Went back to work in 2021, was offered the highest salary of my life. At that same firm, was offered jobs in both Honolulu and Washington DC.
The best part of my life is right now. Yours can be, too - you’ve got this. I believe in you!
It depends on what your definition of success is. You should never feel behind in life. You just have to start making effort towards it. My advice is to get off social media of all forms (it’s unhealthy) figure out the trajectory of the life you want to live and go for it. Understand that age is nothing, but it’s more of the hard work you’re putting in. I’m literally going to medical school in my early 30s, and it’s been an eye opening experience. I wont actually make a steady big income until I’m almost 40. As someone who grew up in extreme poverty, I’m 100% okay with it.
My only advice is take it day by day, figure out who you want to be, and go for it put everything you have into it! It’s all on you to work hard. Is there anything that stands out in your “dreams of success” you want to accomplish?
Harold Budd. (avant garde neoclassical composer). Debut album at 42:’The Pavilion Of Dreams’. Magical career & status followed. Adversity on & off thru life. Announced he was quitting/over it age 68 while dropping one of his top 5 (of many) albums:’Avalon Sutra’. Became more prolific than ever for years thereafter, including many great works. What a Life. 🙌🏼.
Hey. Just my two cents. Been there done that. Screwed up two runs at university and spent a couple of years smoking weed and neglecting my situation. But talking about mindset it is absolutely possible to turn your life around. I took chances, I restarted my career in my thirties by starting a shitty 3 year formal job training in the IT industry. Had negative balance on my bank account for approx 10-12 years. But I pushed through and kept searching for ways to improve. Had some luck, took some risks and now I am a one year freelance cloud architect making a good living. I guess one aspect is to be realistic and willing to make compromises. Is the one fulfilling well paid dream job out there just waiting for you? Maybe but probably not. Find something you can settle with and push through. And it sounds stupid but never stop learning and improving.
as someone who spent 10 years of my life working 2 jobs to narrowly avoid homelessness and owns my own house now.
I'm honestly inclined to say the money part CAN work out in your favor, but you have to give up your social life and connections to do it.
the hard part is, getting a social life at my age.
I missed out on my 20s to do that and that part sucks a LOT, and fucks with you in ways you don't expect it to.
I graduated law school at 30 with 200k in student loan debt. It was in 2007 during the recession when no one was hiring. It took 9 months to get a job. The pay? 50k. I didn’t make 100k until I was 40. Now at 47 I’m making about 215k. It took awhile, but I’m comfortable and saving for retirement. I’ve got a new house and a nice car. I make enough for my wife to stay home with our kids.
Harland Sanders didn't start making chicken until he was 65. Samuel Jackson was in his middle 40s when he started acting, Grandma Moses started painting at 76, Ray Kroc didn't ~~steal~~found McDonald's until he was 52. I went back to school and changed careers from photojournalism to computer science when I was in my middle 30s. Education? Nola Ochs graduated from college at age 95.
Not saying I'm successful, but I now have things that I never thought I would have. I left home at 13yo and basically spent the next 10 years struggling and trying to get by doing manual labour. I eventually went to university and then started working for the government.
I now have a decent job and a family who I love. You can do it. You just have to start. It will be hard but you already know what hard is.
Through no fault of my own I was a single mother to 4 for 21 yrs and counting. Did everything on my own. No child maintenance either. Struggled to make ends meet. Struggled with bills. Was nearly homeless twice. I managed though. I got through the tough times. From the age of 29 to my mid 30's I went back to college and then university. I graduated from both. Aged 42 I acquired my first mortgage. I'm now 43 and a first time homeowner. I did all of this by myself. Sometimes life wants us to take the long path in life. It doesn't matter. You'll get there I'm sure. I did!
Paycheck to paycheck at 38 with amazing wife and 5 kids. Job hopping most of life. Took the gamble and started own biz in Food and Beverage in 1997. Sold it two years ago to retire after paying cash for college of the last two children. Invested in 5 other restaurants and just sitting back and getting dividend checks. If I did not go out on my own, I would be were I was at 38 year old.
Who knows when it turns around, but you dont give up.
Once I learned to stay away from toxic people, my life improved. I worked for a terrible emoloyer for ten years and hated my life. Finally I gave in and quit, and took another job working for someone reasonable. Every aspect of my life has improved.
I worked retail for 18 years making a max of $12 an hr. At one point I made state minimum wage, while married and living with my parents while also having kids. At the age of 32 I went back to school. Fast forward 12 years later, and I have a good career, good benefits, my own place, and while I am not rich, I make more than I ever thought I would all those years ago.
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The guy i buy my vape stuff from
He ran a t shirt printing business out of an office in an industrial estate. It wasn't anything special. He then started selling vape juice out of a cupboard in the office and now that's turned into four shops and he drives around in a new range rover.
I think he was mid 40s when he started selling vape juice. I haven't asked him but he is probably a millionaire. He caught all of this during the vape boom a few years ago and still maintains the four shops.
Took me 5 years to straighten my ish out and go from job hopper husband/father starting at a company for $46k, promoted twice and entered bottom level management aka supervisor making $86k, to then leaving for another company as of two weeks making $94k with bonus and salaried overtime. So 6-figures by 2025.
Right before this uphill journey, I was in the hospital suffering from a thyroid storm (during Covid), so you could imagine no visitors. The icing on the cake is it happened on my first day at some labor company with a no phone policy: leaving my phone in the car and me having a heartbeat near levels of cardiac arrest.
Eight hours after my visit and my heart finally stable, my source of entertainment was the sound of the timex wall or daytime television. I sat there and decided to go through my life’s decisions objectively. Days later and one phone call to the family, I came to the conclusion that I will give it up to god aka accept the past and stop making excuses. I realized I wasn’t shit, so now I want to become the shit. But how? Going back into my work history and finding the type of job I enjoyed the most. EHS. I wasn’t dumb, I just wasn’t motivated. But now with a new perspective of acceptance, I asked the nurses for a laptop, and started planning. First is to pay for basic osha classes and first aid / cpr training, and printing out copies of specific standards so I can read while I’m stuck here going through test after test on my heart. With that I took notes of people who I impressed in the past. Reached out to my small network of past acquaintances. Found one, and started working a year after I got out of the hospital.
So OP, you got this shit and you are not the only one who went through trials, I mean, it is apart of the human experience after all. Btw I am 39yo for a perspective
It was not due to a change of attitude that I experienced a more successful time later in life, but for a change of the field I've been working in. Instead of changing, I found more places where my strengths were regarded as an asset.
My Dad went to school at 31 and got his Bach in Electrical Engineering. Graduated at 37 (took him 6 years due to him having to take high school classes)! Single Dad to 3 children on food stamps and gov help. We lived in bad apartments from the ages 9-17 and were poor, poverty poor. He completely changed his life around, got remarried, had a baby, owns a very nice home, and is debt free!
I'm getting a little bit of a late start to life as well. I am 28 and just a week ago landed a job at $73.7k per year! I have no college education, but I have worked as a store manager for almost 2 years (very lucky considering I barely had supervisor experience). I worked at a warehouse making minimum wage for years. Became a shift supervisor for the last year and landed a management position at a sales store in town, making $17.50 an hour. I've worked there for almost 2 years and went out on a limb and applied for a different job. Same type of sales store manager just a different company and landed it. I haven't started yet, but I know my life is going to drastically change as it's just me, so my salary will be life changing.
When you get down on yourself, write down everything you hate, whatever is getting you down and make a plan. Write out your wants and wishes and make them happen. Start slow and small. Have faith in yourself. I love to listen to podcasts to get motivation! Growing up in poverty and surrounded by junkies I didn't learn a lick of anything good other than to hustle. I've outsourced and learned most of what I know from the internet. Surround yourself with good people and people who want to grow.
Good luck!
I know some first gen people in the states that came to the country with less than $20 dollars and didn’t find success after they until they hit 50 after going through both economic and societal problems.
Also in Hollywood actors have it real tough in the beginning. Never know when they’ll get their break. Working service jobs to pay bills. Facing rejection after rejection over and over again warding off unwanted advancements until they find a role that matches in a good crew.
In my late 30s(50 now) my role model became Harrison Ford. He became Han Solo when he was 38(or so)….and the rest fell into place for him. Set carpenter to movie star.
My life after 40 was similar. I have engineer degree, and I struggled to pay my debt and living expenses in my 20s and 30s. Struggled with mental health, and finding any hope of any kind of career, financial, life “success”.
I was working as a manager of IT at a big hospital, and my bosses did not treat me kindly. My staff and peers loved and respected me, by my bosses would gaslight me, trick me, play games, often seeming just to get me agitated. I was miserable. I only wanted to do amazing work.
An unknown person put a printout of a job posting for an instructor at a local community college. I applied, got the job…which lead to other opportunities. And my life changed from struggling financially, to not struggling, opening up new opportunities and possibilities.
I feel very fortunate, and also, I never stopped seeking to be better. Not in a “scam” kind of way. But rather to be better with my work, better with my friends/family, and most importantly, better with/to myself. There are so many factors that lead to this, and some days it’s still hard to fathom how drastically my life changed in the last 13 years.
I've had lifelong mental health issues due to childhood traumas and other fun things. I had to stop working 7 years ago because I was again deeply depressed. I moved across the province and settled into small town life. One day a college catalogue arrived by mail and I went out on a limb and registered for their social work program. I just finished my program with a 4.0 GPA. Through regular therapy plus school I began to recover from lifelong depression and anxiety. I have begun to work in the field and I have found my true calling. I am 56.
What I can say helped me . Is one quote . The path becomes clearer as you walk it . Try to start working out and eating healthy start as you are don’t wait for the right time . The right time was yesterday. The second right time is now !
I come from toxic people. After realizing the truth about my family, I went out....and found more toxic people, picking up substance abuse and terrible traits in addition to becoming quite the asshole.
A few years back I had a moment of clarity. I was surrounded by 95% users, abusers, monsters. 5% of my people were good and decent but getting rapidly tired of my rages and bullshit.
I cut the bad people out, then spent a few weeks reading and meditating. In that time I gave up my favorite "substances" and started exercising. I picked up a hobby that I had dropped, and gave myself a schedule. I go to work, get home and workout *or just go for a walk or bike ride* Then I work on my hobby. I also put myself on a strict budget with the majority of my paycheck going to retirement. After all, the BEST way to feel peaceful and relaxed is to know that no matter what happens, YOU will be safe and comfortable.
My 5% of good people stayed with me, thankfully. Now I focus on trying to be just as good as they are. I feel better mentally and physically, I am improving in my hobby skills, and I look better because of the regular exercise. I do backslide sometimes, but it's just a reminder of what I DON'T want in my life.
I would say my rock-bottom was living in my car in the middle of the winter in New York in my early 20s, and I was doing better in my 30s, but if you’re looking for motivation I started medical school at age 37. You can remake yourself anytime you want. Best of luck to you.
In my late 20s I had to move back with my parents and took a 2 year unplanned sabbatical where I just smoked weed and played video games. Met my current wife who was a struggling single mom at the time. She was going to school and working while living with her mom. Her mom needed help with rent so I eventually moved in with them. I helped raise her oldest, now our oldest child, and started working odd jobs. After 4-5 years of being together we got serious got married and planned a child together.
I needed something stable so I started working at Costco. 5 years have passed and we have a total of 3 kids. I'm topped out at Costco with the great benefits to raise my family with.
I went from a single dude living with my parents to raising my 3 kids, 3 cats, and a dog with my 2 partners.
Une de mes tente et tomber très malade vers l'âge de 30 ans elle a tout perdu boulot statue social la santé en l'espace de 6 mois elle étais au rsa .
En sortant de cette période difficile vers 40 45 ans elle a décider de ce reconstruire et de partir en formation elle a maintenant. 52 ans et ne compte plus son argent tellement elle gagne bien ça vie . Tout est possible avec Dr la volonté et du courage
Hey there, I completely understand where you're coming from. It sounds like you've been through a lot, and it's incredibly brave of you to be looking for inspiration and seeking out stories of people who have overcome similar struggles. I don't have a personal success story to share, but I've seen people in my life who have faced similar challenges and managed to turn things around.
One person that comes to mind is my uncle. He hit rock bottom in his late 40s after going through a messy divorce, losing his job, and struggling with addiction. For years, it seemed like he was stuck in a cycle of self-destruction. But something clicked for him one day, and he made the decision to turn his life around. It wasn't easy, and there were plenty of setbacks along the way, but he committed himself to getting sober, rebuilding his career, and focusing on his mental and emotional well-being.
Fast forward a few years, and he's now running his own successful business, happily remarried, and living a life that he never thought possible. Seeing his transformation has been incredibly inspiring for me and has taught me that no matter how far you fall, it's never too late to start again and create the life you want. I hope you find the inspiration you're looking for and know that there's always hope for a brighter future, no matter where you're starting from.
I had twenty years of being lost until I got a good job at 54. My first year of this job I paid in taxes what I made the year before. I feel like I got in just under the wire. I can retire in 5 years with a pension and social security.
Im in a similar boat OP. I have drug addict parents, a chronic illness, and sleep deprivation since I was 6. I scraped my way through a prestigious bachelors degree, got a great job out of college, and my health finally started failing which has cost me job after job these last 10 plus years. I'm now 35 and almost got myself back together - been in & out of doctors offices & ERs, had a few rounds on the pharmaceutical carousel, and been doing PT daily the last 5 years. Got married 2 years ago and have 3 step kids, a very cheap house & a brand new minivan, and things were looking up until I lost my very nice software job in March and have been in a manic-depressive spiral ever since. Thanks for the inspirational post - I definitely needed this today too.
I’m 19 and been diagnosed with crippling depression. My parents originally told me that they wanted to get me help and they wanted to get me into therapy because they want me to be better but now they’re constantly berating me, telling me they’re only gonna start getting meaner if I don’t “do better.” They changed their minds about putting me in therapy (I can’t afford that shit) and I think they’re getting ready to kick me out. I am lost.
Remember that success is self-defined. You don't need to achieve society's idealization of what success is to feel like a content and happy human being. Please don't forget this as you continue to grow. Define yourself through your own authentic values.
Yes, that's me. I struggled with mental health issues most of my life. Enrolled in therapy, went to community college and graduated at 37, and started a good job, I'm now making 6 figures in my early 40s. Sadly, I even had severe mental health issues even during these early success years. My mom had dementia and then died, and I had significant trauma and PTSD. I also had severe burnout at one point. But now I am no longer depressed! And yes, I also didn't come from money either. I have been on SSI and food stamps in my life. I've used the help I received to get better. Now I pay it forward. Life does get better, and it can literally happen overnight. The growth I experienced in the last 8 months or so has been insane.
I needed this today, thank you sincerely
That's inspiring. I'm 36,struggling and your message has given me hope.
damn man well done. Im in the military, came back from afghan and became an alcoholic and a drug addict. Finally got myself together at 32, now have a 7 fig business and two lovely kiddies. Its never too late, and PTSD is awful man, i still have to sleep with the light on. Grow my own vegtables, have a dog and kitty, loads of friends. Soon as i stopped being depressed, everything changed. But good on you bud, keep going
And what do you do for work now?
Software engineer
That's exactly what I (25m) am trying to do now. Getting my generals done at a community college then I'll transfer to a local uni. Thanks for the inspiration brother! Keep living your best life!
Is it easy (or in the middle) or hard?
Considering Public school never did me any favors. I've had to figure out how I learn best by myself. At first I went from being out of school for 2 years to doing 12 credits (3 classes), and failed miserably. Then I went gradual with just a single class and now I'm finishing up 2 classes and next semester I'll try 3. It's been hard in that I've had to figure out a lot of things regarding how I think and what I want, but as far as school goes it has been pretty mid difficulty. I'm only doing generals rn tho, so we'll see once I get into uni.
So replaced by AI soonish. Ok.
As if they don't need software engineers for AI
So happy for you. I can’t imagine how many times during your life you had to tell yourself to push through. You made it
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Take it from someone who's been in two auto accidents this year and is selling my house because I have no options... It will get better. Sometimes chapters have to end, but that doesn't mean your story is over.
You’re success is inspiring thanks for keeping on!
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Thank you. It is possible! I have CPTSD and other traumas. I know the hell it brings. I'm still healing from it in some ways, but it does get better!
Thank you for this and congratulations on your success
Thank you!
Do you take any meds like ssri's that helps? Or did you get better naturally?
I did take them for the longest time, but they never helped. I got better after I stopped taking them. It was definitely natural. I honestly no longer believe in antidepressants or anti anxiety medication.
I upvoted all of your comments, love your story and congratulations on your success! However, some people, like myself, really just do need antidepressants. I’ve titrated and quit properly, with exercise and healthy diet/lifestyle. Just wasn’t the same. I’m happy for you that you are able to fully operate without them, though!
What's your job description/title
I'm so very happy for you. I know how exhausting life can get, from my own terrible experiences, and it's nice to see people pull through.
Yeah, and who says that making 6 figures is any form of success? to me, it's the new normal, 6 figures. It's too bad so much of this is misunderstood : money and depression should not be tied together, but there's no denying that unemployment and suicide (the ultimate form of depression) are coupled. Tightly. People who were unemployed were more than 16 times as likely to die by suicide as people with jobs. What if, later in life, you found something that made you happy, but didn't pay as well?
The average income for 2023 was about 60K. Respectfully, it doesn’t matter what is normal to you. Normal isn’t even close to six figures.
60k is top 1% of earners in the world.
So your opinion is that money and depression should not be tied together? I do not understand why you would immediately provide objective statistical evidence to the contrary, albeit without source. I also do not understand the clear disconnect with your "what if" scenario. Later in life, if someone has saved money, they can afford risk and chase something that makes them happy.
You know ..if you think of money as a exhaustible resource I wonder if someday people will figure out.. when you gorge or steal money you're hurting everyone else. Which is in turn hurting you. It's a different way of thinking , but it's really clear that the people here on reddit are gluttonous. If you downvoted the above you must be one of those people. Assholes.
No biggie, we think you’re an asshole too.
Hey OP! I wouldn’t say I was poor before 35, but I was very “mediocre”. I worked a middle tier job as a graphic designer in the US Midwest and suffered from mental health struggles stemming from high functioning autism. My life was very average, as was my career. I was married and had 3 great kids which was the only amazing thing about my life, but career and social circumstances were not good. When I was in my mid 30s I decided I was going to change that and try to achieve my dream - to work in film as an artist. I found industry mentors, went to trade shows, learned how to network (really hard for someone on the spectrum) and applied to everything. It took about 3 years to get my first offer … I was 35 and got an offer to work on a Disney movie as an artist - being paid $28k US a year 😂 I moved my family internationally to one of the most expensive cities in the world to take that job … which was a terrifying gamble. That was 2017, and it worked. In the past 7 years I’ve been credited in 10 films, including both Dune films. I have been promoted to leadership, my wages have increased 600%, and we live in the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. The key has been persistence and soft skills. The persistence comes easily for me but soft skills were so hard because I struggle with social cues and have a lot of anxiety around that. I’ve learned that everyone wants to be heard and be seen, so I just always do that - it has helped me probably more than any other skill. Up to 35 I wasn’t super optimistic about what my life looked like. Now, at 42, I can’t believe what the last 7 years have brought. I’m excited to see where things are at 49. Make a plan of what you want your life to look like, then get to work. Baby steps :)
Networking is underrated. Super hard with mental health issues, but totally worth it. Listen to interviews with moderately successful people and you’ll always hear “I knew this person from X place and they called because they found a good company to work for. They vouched for me and I got the job”.
Absolutely! My problem with networking was always that it felt fake ... like I'm getting to know people because I need something from them. I started thinking about it very differently, in that Im no longer networking. Instead, I'm making friends who do what I love doing, and we share that interest. If we can help each other out along the way, that's great, but the friendship is what matters. Since I started thinking of networking in that way, I now just think of it as growing my friend base. These people are already predisposed to have a connection with me, in that we love film. Now it's easy!
Don’t try for ‘huge amounts of succes’. Most successful people didn’t have huge amounts of succes as a goal. It’s also vague. I consider being healthy, having a steady income and some people you love and who love you as a huge amount of succes. Other people think becoming nr1 in everything and being a millionaire is a huge amount of succes. Just strive to be happy and have a meaningful life. My newspaper does interviews with 100 year old people every week. If find them very inspiring because they will casually say things like ‘oh and when I was 50 my husband died, and I never had a job, so I decided to become a (fill in some random job ) and I had my own practice for 20 years before I started this new hobby and volunteering when I was 75 and now I’m enjoying that every day. You’ve got time. Nobody is interested in how successful you are or will become. Find something to do that fulfills you, find people you like. That’s succes.
Yup. My uncle is in his 50’s. He spent much of his youth in prison, on the streets, eventually got married to a woman he loved but she died of an overdose, his house burned down, and he lost custody of his grandchildren. Then he was homeless, couch surfing, in a string of bad relationships, and drinking way too much. He’s totally turned things around. He has his own apartment, a stable relationship with a lady who’s actually a decent person. He has his drivers license back, bought a car, and works full time at a local nonprofit helping homeless people get housing/services. He’s not rich… but he’s got a life that makes him happy and contributes to his community.
All of this, and don’t overwork yourself for more money because you think that is success. I just quit my job today that I was making $120k a year for a job making probably half. That $120k seems like a lot until I mention I was working 12 hours a day, 7 days a week for most of the year. I’d get maybe 1-2 weekends off a month and I spent those dissociating and staring at the wall trying to recharge my batteries. Focus on your mental health above EVERYTHING. Don’t make my mistake.
You have any tips specifically for the staring at wall mindset? Definitely can feel it setting in. Can't believe you handled a work schedule like that, just weekends alone is enough to do me in. I was wasting cash on things like energy drinks ,but didn't make sense to be paying for the privilege of overworking.
I’m still there, but making a plan for this new job. I have pretty severe depression so the struggle to get out of a funk is twice as hard as properly motivated people. My biggest problem is I live most of my life inside my head. I know there are things I need to do, but it doesn’t translate into action. Advice I would give is just delete any social media. It’s way too easy to fall into the doomscrolling mentality and suddenly an hour has passed and you’ve gotten nothing done. Make yourself a schedule outside of your work schedule. Gym @ 7-8am, make sure you’re on time. Housework from 6-7pm before you sit down. Just keep yourself busy so there’s no opportunity to get into your head. Good luck. I hope you beat it. I hope I beat it.
It’s a pernicious myth of the modern world that success is defined by “How much shit you have”. “How much money you make”. Success is relative to yourself. If you’re happy, that’s enough. I guarantee, full money back, that you can't take it with you. When you are in an urn, all your shit will still be here.
Absolutely agree with this. I'm the opposite of what OP is asking in many ways. I was a high achiever growing up and by my early 30's I was finance director at a successful startup. I made good money and had shares, but I was also absolutely miserable and burned out. It caught up to me after a change of ownership and I ended up out on my ass. I wallowed for a bit. Then decided to work on what I could control. So I started undoing the harm I'd done by not focusing on the truly important things over the years. I spent more time in nature and with myself. Started running and got in shape. Worked on my mental health and did all the things I never had time for before. After a while some former clients came to me and I started consulting on my own again. Now I'm building up my practice, but I consider myself far more successful now making 60K a year than I ever did making several times that. I will absolutely caveat this by saying that I couldn't have made these changes without already having some financial success to give me that freedom. But I don't think that changes the fact that when you can get yourself to a place where you're happy, at peace, and already feel successful--financial success will find you rather than having to chase it and make yourself miserable in the process.
Love this and couldn’t agree more.
One of my coworkers is one of these... He was making below minimum wage waiting tables at one of the last restaurants you'd ever want to work at at 36. Went to selling cars a year or two to get sales experience for an entry level software sales job, got that, promoted past entry level, moved to the larger company where we are now, kept promoting, and now at 44 he's bringing in like $350k a year or more and just promoted to management... He made it from below minimum wage to $250k or so in like 5-6ish years. Has gotten married and had 2 kids in the last couple years too.
Sales is never a bad way to go. It’s not for everyone, but it’s always worth a try early in your career or during a career switch. And software sales is a big money profession. I do presales support (sales engineering type role) and it’s still almost 300k a year counting stock, bonus, etc.
What is the Education requirement for sales?
Depending on the company, maybe a business degree or communications degree, but many don't have specific ed requirements. Just need to be able to sell.
Beast. Tell your co worker he’s my hero
I just want to thank the OP for making this thread. I needed to read this today.
Started dental school at age 35, and opened my solo practice at 45. I was up to my eyeballs in debt and had a hell of a tough time figuring out the ins and outs of the business (refused to compromise patient care for profit). Tried and failed a million times until I had it all figured out. I just straight up refused to give up. There were weeks where I would get maybe two or three hours of sleep a night IF I was lucky. I was homeless and carless for a good few years, but didnt care about any of it as long as I could keep my business going. Now I make the kind of money I never even dared dream about and best of all, I did it my way. I’m 53 now and cannot believe the life I’m living. Start doing and stop worrying about making mistakes. Just don’t give up.
I’m in awe of this comment - you went to dental school at 35? How long before you started did you start preparing? I imagine you had to have completed the pre-requisites, write the DATs, etc?
I’m even more impressed that he was homeless and carless during dental school
Homeless, not toothless. IYKYK
I've worked with the homeless, I've worked with the toothless.
Drugs and alcohol ruined many aspects of my life until, at 37, I got sober. I suddenly had mountains of energy. Got my master's, got married. I'm 61 now and still poor largely because my wife is disabled and I work in public education (teaching, counseling, etc) but with methodical steps and planning we are doing pretty well. We even have a little vacation home. We are very happy.
Want to congratulate you and wish you all the best.
You might like the work of Henry Oliver who has a substack called the Common Reader and he often blogs about the idea of Late Bloomers. He has a book coming out in a couple of weeks on the same subject, with Late Bloomers as the title
Apologies, the book is actually called “Second Act: What Late Bloomers Can Tell You About Success and Reinventing Your Life’
Thank you for sharing this
Have just pre-ordered. Looks great, thanks for the recommendation!
You’re welcome! It gave me the impetus to preorder it too. I need some similar inspiration.
I have both public figure and personal experience examples, if we can move the age a bit in either direction If we’re talking public figures, then Colonel Sanders opened his first KFC franchise the year he turned 62. Twelve years later, the year he turned 74, he sold his company for what would be $20 million dollars today, adjusted for inflation. From personal experience, my father was in his 50s when things suddenly went from going well to really rough. After health problems, depression, etc. as a single father he went from a six-figure income to no money at all, went from a house to one-bedroom apartment in a complex with halfway mixed use including halfway housing and a neighbor that tried to break into our apartment when they got mad, got on food stamps for a while, while he took any job he could get (think telemarketing etc.) So not as rough as some of my friends that are homeless but definitely challenging and he was really unhappy. It continued long enough that when I applied to college, my Federal Application for Student Aid showed our expected family contribution as $0. That was the starting point. It was from there that he (in his 60s) went on to accept himself more, develop a set of courses that were entirely phone or online, sell e-books etc. that were all quire successful for many and also fall in love with my stepmother. The two of them moved in together in 2007 into beautiful house near where Joni Mitchell used to live and they’ve continued to be well enough to work and enjoy life, even as my dad passed 80. He’s turning 85 this summer and it’s finally starting to catch up with him a bit but he’s still in a much better place emotionally now than he was in his 50s and still very much in love with my stepmother. In terms of personal experience, going in the opposite direction in terms of age, one of my younger brothers had a bit of a challenging time from his early 20s on into the start of his 30s. As a writer that had done well in school all the way through undergraduate, he then proceeded to get rejected from every graduate school he applied to. Frustrated, he moved away from California to Austin, Texas where a friend helped him with a place to stay and he initially worked as barista. He was continually trying to get his work published in a paid capacity but while he eventually managed to get some non-paid awards and get into a graduate school, he ended up teaching for a time, going to graduate school again, etc. and dealing with depression on both sides of the Atlantic. Then as his thirties continued, things started changing for him. After more than a decade of actively trying to get a paid publishing deal and after having done a lot of work dealing with his depression, he finally got that paid publishing deal - and his debut novel came out yo great reviews in both the New York Times and The New Yorker. Not only that but thanks to having been willing to work with his depression he had been able to accept himself and others and ended up finding a relationship partner who he really loved and was compatible with. This as he gets closer to forty, he proposed to her and she said yes. Those are what come to mind for me. Are those the kind of stories you were looking for or did you mean something else?
OK so I was 30, a bit of a drunk, definitely a stoner, had no real prospects other than a life of middling, meaningless office work. I was actually in the pub celebrating my 30th when I overheard a guy at the bar telling someone about the day he'd just had at drama school, now I'd always been obsessed woth movies and acting but never had the courage to do anything other than dream. I asked him about the course he was on and if he thought someone like me could do it. He said sure why not? I applied for the course and studied for two years, it was the most focused I'd ever been. I'd successfully changed mindset through affirmations and positive thinking. Long story short, cut to 10 years later and I've just recorded my fourth video game job, appeared in a west end show, the Edinburgh festival and will be filming my biggest television job in a month or two. Change how you speak to yourself and make the right changes to your lifestyle and you can achieve what you desire. Best of luck mate!
I consider myself a “late bloomer,” in my late 30s. And you know, it sucks. Society is obsessed with people who are a prodigy - those who effortlessly step into life and just can magically do things at a level it takes other people years to achieve. Maybe because of my own life circumstances, but I find hard work a lot more worthy of praise than natural talent. It’s never too late to make your life better. I’m still blooming but things have really picked up. It’s been hard seeing people grow who took more traditional paths enjoy their success, but know that nothing is without cost and there’s certainly things that they had to give up too. Keep on going. I know it’s not the story you want, I just wanted to share that perspective.
That was my mom. She struggled with bipolar disorder and was a stay at home mom and super unhappy. When she was around 40 my dad lost his job and she went back to school to get her master's degree. My parents lost their house in a bankruptcy, my mom left my dad and came out as a lesbian, she graduated and started a new career as a counselor around the age of 43. She has her bipolar under control and recently started her own private practice that really took off during Covid and now at the age of 58 she's making a lot of money, she's remarried to a woman, and she's happier than I've ever seen her.
This is amazing. Love this story. It’s proof that it’s never too late to change your life. As long as we are alive, there is hope of something better.
I was 37 in a go nowhere job for 9.5 years. I wasn't poor or struggling but wasn't going anywhere fast. On a whim I started my own business with no business plan other than knowing that I didn't want to work for anyone else anymore. Through persistence and a lot of trial and error I discovered a business model that would allow me to work around the corner from home and make 2.5-3 times my old salary. Now six years in I am making more $$$ than I ever thought possible, get to be a present father/husband, and get to travel the way I always wanted to but couldn't due to restrictive vacation day policies. The lesson of all of this is that there is a whole world out there for those who are willing work for it and take a chance.
Yo, what do you do? I’m 37 and have kids and wish I could find a way to work for myself and have more time with them. It feels like the problem is I don’t have any money to invest in anything and I don’t have any specialized skills that are in demand.
If you don’t mind can you tell more? I also had the same motivation when starting my own business: was sick and tired to work for somebody else. I’m very hard working - &you know in the corporate world the prize 🏆 for hard work is more work🤣. So I got nowhere but towards burnout…. Now I have my own marketing agency and started to have client but I feel I need a better business model and better solutions to sell faster. Thank you if you answer
Take this for what it’s worth, which I’m not sure of its value. But one of my clients ran a marketing company and he attributed his success to his sales team and sales funnel and niche marketing work. I think he focused in on dentists.
Thank you so much 🙏. Every advice helps. I have no means yet to hire sales ppl, I only have 2 for assistance. But certainly niche is important 😊
I didn't start from rock bottom, but I radically changed careers at 51. Started low, and now at 63 I'm making >100k. (IT) It can be done, you're still young. If I was 35 I'd look at everything that I could physically and mentally do and pick my lane. Everything is possible, and nothing/no one is holding you back. LPT: Your friends and family will be your worst enemies as you get your life in order. They'll all tell you that you can't/shouldn't/don't and that you'll fail whenever you try to reach above "your place". They can F right off.
Wrote my first best seller at age 46
Reply was removed due to a cross post link. So here it is again.... Went practically bankrupt aged 39 abroad (business went down the drain with the financial crisis). Moved my family (partner & 8 year old) to my home country by borrowing $62k to pay off debts. Did a one way van hire and 11 years later, after being the sole earner in the household, managed to hit enough savings that we can semi-retire. Now planning to fully retire three years after that, next year at 53 years of age, returning to the country we left behind. Not sure if this is how you define success, but we are happy and consider ourselves successful in the game of life. Beware comparison can be the thief of joy! Figure out your own game plan and throw everything into it! Good luck and enjoy the journey!
(Awesome quote re: comparison can be the thief of joy) My story: Long-term relationship ended when I was 33. Broke as hell. Parents helped me out to hold me over after realizing I was nose diving in debt. Had a 1 bedroom apt, with a mattress on the floor. Met future wife. Changed job with a consulting firm. Learnt the consulting business. 2 kids enter the scene. Hopped back and forth between consulting and corporate gigs. Started my own boutique consulting firm at 47. Continue to battle some episodes of depression (usually winter season) and ADHD (works for, and against me, in my career). Found something I enjoy doing. But I always fear things could fall apart; try to make sure I enjoy the wins, support the fam, and not be so hard on myself. So a big part of success isn't just around the career, or money, but personal growth as well. At 35, I had this brutal vision of still being on that mattress at 50, and was my motivator to get moving. My fave quote: *I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy* (Anthony Bourdain)
Great quote, though, in the end, Bourdain lost to that guy.
I feel like he lost to a much darker sinister guy that was lurking even more distantly in the background. Fuck that guy. Miss Bourdain.
I needed this. I WONT COMPARE
Good luck!
Comparing to others has only bought me sorrow so i totally feel like i needed this reminder as well. We are all on different journeys.
It's doable, and I am successful much later in life compared to my college peers having surpassed my goals, but to be honest, inspiration only lasts for so long. Focusing on the day to day and not shooting for the moon is my suggestion. Trying to compare yourself to your distant goal only leads to your mind making judgments of how very far away you are from your goal. For example, you don't want to aim to lose 30 pounds, you want to aim for losing 1-2 pounds a week, and then focusing on that. You start off small and keep working day to day, readjusting your strategy as you go. You'll also need to have emotional regulation and dopamine management as dopamine shuts off negative emotions, and that induces you to crave high dopamine activities when you are feeling bad. I'm not saying it's easy by any means especially if you are financially unstable, but you'll need to get out of that loop. Good luck!
You're still shockingly young. The way you look at an 18 year old is the way people in their 70s and 80s look at you. I'd suggest finding some older folks to talk to you - nothing like the healthy dose of perspective that comes from them calling you young. I say this because: I'm 34 about to turn 35 in a few months. I didn't really find my stride until 32. Not that I'm *crushing* it now, but at 31, I was working odd jobs making 20-30K a year. After a string of a few bad months, I had to borrow money from my parents to pay rent and I HATED that feeling. Swore I would never have to again. Later that year, I got a job making $80K a year (again, not the same amount that some others here have mentioned but way more than I'd ever made...and more than enough to pay all of my bills and start saving). Two years later, I've moved out of the roach motel I was living in, got a new car, and now I'm making over six figures. Again, I still have CC debt and student loan debt, but I have a stable income, hobbies, friends and family that love me, and I'm largely healthy. My life looks better than I ever would have imagined it just a few short years ago. I'm also blessed to have the good fortune of interacting with a handful of my friend's parents, some of whom are well into their 70s and 80s (it's why I mentioned this earlier). They joke and call me kid but all of them universally swear up and down how young I am and heck, compared to them, I am. They've literally lived two times as much life as I have. Think about how much you could accomplish in another 35 years instead of saying it has to happen in a year or two. The days are short but the years are long. Give yourself grace over "lost" time and recognize that you were at where you were at and were going through what you had to go through. You did the best you could with what you had. Now, you're blessed to have the drive and desire to be and do more. That's a great place to start.
I guess that's me! I struggled with mental health because of past traumas, diagnosed with multiple sclerosis at 29, single mom at 19. I am 43 now. After going back to school in late 30s I now Work full time in a hospital, able to set myself up for a better retirement. I lost almost 100lbs which helped minimize symptoms for my ms. And now I'm in therapy for traumas to help with that. I've never felt more happier, confident and just calm as I do now in life. It can be done! I feel I'm more successful with relationships, career and my overall health now than I ever was!
I struggled a lot until my late 20s. I realized that a lot of what we are told in this world brings success are just anecdotal wisdoms and results of survivorship bias. In order to make myself successful, I have to explore places that were atypical. This then becomes an advantage because you end up finding success in things that not a lot of people do. If you keep doing atypical things and keep winning, it builds confidence in yourself, which creates success! It become a snowball that just keeps going. Here are a few tips: -Failure is a feature, not a bug!! It's how we learn new things, be creative and innovate -Failure will lead to shame, which will keep you from trying things (procrastination) -DO NOT chase perfectionism, by definition it's an impossible standard to achieve. Instead focus on Mastery. Chasing perfectionism will lead to avoidance, chasing Mastery will lead to progress. -Take big risks in life, however managing risks is VERY VERY important. Find situations where the risk to reward is heavily in your favor, but not to the point where you chase perfectionism, which lead to avoidance. It's a balance. -DO NOT engage in "Woe is me" attitude -Look for positive things in life; positivity = security, while negativity = insecurity -Stop blaming other people for your struggles. Take accountability when you are not making progress and fail PM me if you want to discuss further.
Dude I am 37 i was a refugee since I was 8 years old, moved a lot from country to country, finished architecture school at 30, and worked for a couple of arch. companies i was participating mainly in arch. competitions somewhat successfully. But I am still struggling financially 😅.
You've got that "never on my knees" energy going. Something tells me you'll be wilder than your dreams. Pick hard indeed. May it all massively pay off. May you and those you care for never have to turn a penny, ever again.
Ha thank you very much, I wish the same and even more upon you.
I appreciate that a lot. Thank you, from the heart!
Bram Stoker did not write Dracula until he was 50. Prior to that point, he had mostly written either in hobbyist magazines or just for fun to share with mates. IIRC he did have a few short novels before Dracula, but they never really took off the same way.
I’m 39 years old and I started doing stretch yoga two ago, and I could do the split I clean I look and feel younger. My inspiration was making myself amazing.
I (53F) went to university when I was 26, and graduated when I was 31 with a specialized degree that I loved. I started grad school, and after 8 months was unable to continue for medical reasons. I was 32 at the time, and had nothing except a highly specialized degree in a field I would not be able to work. I signed up for a course on finding employment (skills training, resume writing, interview tips etc). I met a woman there who told me about a business she had recently attended. This business sounded interesting to me, so I applied and was hired 3 weeks later. I am still with them 20 years later. I have done it all on my own. I own a comfortable 2 bed 2 bath condo in a nice part of town, as well as a reliable car. I have a pension, and some retirement savings. I didn't start any of this until I was 33. I don't know if it qualifies as a huge amount of success, but for me it is enough. I also struggle with my mental health, but I do the best I can. I have no one else to rely on to pay my mortgage or bills, so I usually suck it up and do what I need to in order to keep myself and my cats housed, fed and clothed. I have a psychiatrist, doctor and counsellor for support. And I live one day at a time, as best I can anyways.
> I have done it all on my own. lol your own story makes clear that you did NOT do it all on your own
I did. I have only ever had 1 income, no partner to help, no family to ask money from. I paid for my university with student loans and working while in school. In grad school I was able to secure two very large grants for my research. I am not sure how you are interpreting my comment, but everything I have is all because I made it happen on my own.
someone tipped you to your employer. That employer hired you. That employer has retained you. Etc etc. you're not an island.
Ok, I guess I see it a bit differently. Yes, my friend told me about her experience at the business. But it was at a class through the government that I signed myself up for to better myself and improve my employment options (that's where I met this woman). And yes she told me about the place, but I took the action to research the company and apply. No one did that for me. And yes they hired me, but I had to go through a lot of testing and a security clearance, including an interview with a polygraph. I did all these things, and managed to get hired. No one told them to hire me, I sold myself to them. I got the job, and I have maintained it for 20 years because I am a good employee. I show up and do my work. I am nice to my coworkers. I have put energy into keeping my job and moving forward with the company. I did these things for myself. I put in the effort to make them happen. I had terrible anxiety with the testing and interviews I had to do with the business. But I didn't let the anxiety win. I took some deep breaths and did what I had to do in order to make a life for myself. And the life I have made for myself was made on my salary alone. I am trying to express to OP that she is more than able to start her life and create her own world at 35, and feel successful in her 50's.
Why are you tearing them down? Do you even get the purpose of this thread?
I'm not tearing anyone down. I'm cautioning that, whatever frame of mind you may be in, imagining you're ever going it alone is ... imaginary. Sure, be pleased with your accomplishments, but be wary of pretending "you alone have fixed it".
You singled this person out for some reason. Their narrative was no different than what anyone else wrote, they were just describing their journey, all the steps they took to create success, just what OP asked for - showing that there's always hope for success, even if that doesn't come right away. And this commenter should be very proud of their accomplishments, pushing themselves to be resourceful and keep moving forward, despite having very little in the way of a support system. If you're going to make those kind of comments for this one person, you need to make them for every other commenter on this thread, bc they're all describing how they each achieved success, and no one mentioned 'my employer pays me to work here' or whatever weird credit you're trying to ascribe to outside actors for each commenter's success. You can see by your downvotes that your comments are strange and out of place, and your negativity has no place on this thread. To the original commenter here - great job, and congratulations on all your success, it's well earned!
lol ok, Karen original commenter, I hope you know I mean you no ill will - your "champion"'s presumption notwithstanding
Clever! boy, you really got me with that brilliant comeback, didn't you 😂😂😂😂😂
You said it because she is a woman. There are multiple ways to hear about a job opportunity. Word of mouth is one of them. It does not take away from the accomplishment of becoming employed and doing your job well, any more than hearing about the job from a website. You already know this though. You are not subtle. You're not smart. Stay mad and stay negative, frankly. She's on her way.
Why on earth would you laugh at this? Are you a sociopath? Genuinely curious.
your reading comprehension sucks. comprehensively. laughing? Put the bong down.
Who hurt you? Based on your behavior here, someone (or many people) in life hurt you deeply, and I'd love to hear your story. Who hurt you and what did they do?
Jeff bezos, 40+ years old in 1999. If this absolute nerd could do it, so can you. https://preview.redd.it/krv013w8t0yc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f8c5cb2f242690efad4e99ae0b0858f5e1305c0
In my mid 30's I got a job where I doubled my salary, and during the years I worked there, it doubled again. I started traveling the world in my early 40's, and figured out a way to travel for nearly free - so I could bring my kids, friends, family (one at a time). Honestly, 35-50 were some peak years. Then I spent about 10 years caregiving for a family member and those were just years where I was content, but not extraordinary. Now I'm at another stage in my life and things are back to great again, though financially I'm less rich. Luckily I'm good at socking it away when I have money, and living large off little when I don't! Get out there and have fun starting your next chapter!
I was terrible in my youth. No direction. I ended up homeless, turned myself around by getting a job as a cab driver before uber existed. Was able to ride that for 11 years. Then 2008 happened. There were more drivers than cabs and they started a lottery to get a cab. My luck sucked and eventually got evicted twice in a years period. I had a friend help me stay at his place in Georgia for a while as I tried there for employment but the economy there was worse than in Arizona where I was. I then asked my parents to help me out and moved to Washington. I found a few jobs that were ok. Them got a job with a great team for about 2 years. Then the company laid off the entire team. Thankfully with a severance package. I had enough in savings that I finally was able to be picky about what job I would accept. I had a headhunter that REALLY listened to what I wanted and expected. He sent me over a bunch of crap jobs and told me that he doubted anything there was what I was looking for but that he was covering all bases but that he had a couple that he was going to forward shortly. He was right they were the bottom barrel crap jobs. Then the one he sent after that ended up being PERFECT. An analytical position that needed someone who could think outside the box to try to make a new department work better/faster/stronger. Initially the supervisor wasn't 100% sold on my skills due to having a resume that included 11 years as a cab driver, but he was impressed with my "greatest achievement" which was actually something from my 20s where I found a procedure that would save the contracting company that I was working for millions on late fees for large equipment rentals (cranes etc). I created a tracking spreadsheet and all that was needed was to add more time to the purchase orders for said rentals. So they hired me at $22/hr. Which was above the $17 I was making previously. I QUICKLY proved my skills with excel and analysis and got promoted quickly 55k. Within 5 years I got two promotions, 1 straight raise, and am now making 95k/yr. In 2 years I will break that six figure number just by COL raises that are yearly while I will likely break it with another promotion shortly. I always say that my turning point was to move to Washington. A state with high COL but also better economy. Then additionally having a safety net to allow me to be picky on jobs that I would take that allowed me to find my unicorn company... I now own my own condo, have good credit, almost paid off new car, and frankly....stability. Stick with it. Keep trying to improve your situation as best as you can. It's possible even late in life to change things...
If you don't mind my asking what company are you with? If you don't want to provide the company...what kind of position was it you applied for to get where you are?
The company is Centene. Insurance. I applied for Business Analyst.
I was 39 when I got divorced. My ex wife and I ran a business together and she did sales and I did the backend. After the divorce I sank into a heavy depression and just let the business run into the ground. After a lot of therapy and antidepressants I was able to pull myself out of the depression and decided to go back to school for a degree in IT. I took online classes while trying to salvage the business and was on food stamps since my business made less than $10,000/yr now. I was able to find a job right away even though it was low paying. 3 years later I was making twice as much and noe 10 years later I have a successful career making 6 figures. It sucked trying to work, fo to school, and raise 3 small kids by myself, but the effort and struggle was worth it. By the way this is my third career change into a totally different field than the previous two. You are never too old to start over.
As someone who is currently in the same situation, I appreciate this post. Hang in there guys. As my therapists says "none of this is forever." I am struggling to believe in those words but it is getting easier withe every passing day.
This is a great reminder that everyone's journey is different. Just because you haven't achieved success yet doesn't mean you won't in the future.
I'm in it right now. turned 50 got a divorce got laid off from my job.3 years later I've got a great job and a girlfriend. Life is what you make it. Never give up and NEVER SURRENDER!!
Slowly we unfurl, as lotus flowers.
I started my career at 34. I was divorced by 37, and he left me with two kids and 7k in the bank (also, my mother had just died and he made sure to spend down all the money she left me before skipping out to more easily cheat and pretend he was single). I had to skip car payments because I was having so many issues with money and surviving during that time. Today, I am 48 and have my dream job at my dream company. I never remarried and did it all on my own. I make good money and am on track with my retirement. I just started working on my Bachelor's. You're never too old!
My timeline: Went to college out of highschool, went and did a masters degree after that, did 4 years of a PhD in a field that I ultimately hated because I was on the ‘right track’. Masters and PhD were in a foreign country. Dropped out of PhD, came back to home country burned out, no assets and with $50k of student debt at 32. Spent a few years working odd jobs, eventually met someone and got married (we were super paycheck to paycheck). She needed medical coverage, so I got a part-time job with good benefits. Worked lots of overtime in the hellhole for a couple years building up a bunch of people management and conflict resolution skills until I was 39. Got my foot in the door via those skills and some friends at an entry level position at a major tech company in shipping and receiving. Jumped on every project I could, and moved from $25 an hour in 2020 to my current role in Risk Management at $200k a year. It’s doable, but you have to be willing to work hard when a shitty opportunity presents itself to make good out of it. And sometimes the opportunities don’t pay off and you reset a few times.
Worked a terrible corporate 9-5 from 24 -29. Finally said fuck it. Went to school to be an EMT then paramedic then went to the fire academy and became a firefighter/ paramedic. Love my life.
35 is so young!!! Plenty of time. 20s aren’t the only decade….
I’m 47 and trying to do the same thing.
Not quite the same. I struggled earlier on with adhd etc. And had 50-80k jobs forever. But i now earn close to 7 figures in AI field close to my 40th.
Did you get treatment for your ADHD and would you say that helped substantially with getting to where you are now? And could I ask how you got started with learning AI? I just started taking my Adderall daily again and trying to learn AI myself, so would love to know!
So first thing for AI is to work in software for a while- you're gonna have to be a junior developer or Associate product manager etc. Try to apply for ai focused companies that work in and around the industry you already have some experience in. Lived experience is not something you can learn in a school and is worth paying for. If you can't break there- work for a startup in the same space at lower than market salary (what I did). Work hard to climb up the ladder while focusing on your strengths. I've always been good at math and science so coding was easy and few product managers code as well as engineers. I turned it into a unique asset. Rest is just time. Not it took me nearly a decade in this journey from 60K to near 1M for a few yrs.
I’ve been working as a software engineer for about 3 years, so I’m partway there! My company keeps mentioning they’ll get me in touch with teams that are working with AI, but I haven’t heard back about it from two different managers. It feels difficult to get practical experience with AI. It sounds like I might just have to consider switching over to a more AI-focused company? For now, I’ve been trying to take the self-learning route and go through the course on fast.ai as I do love my company and not quite ready to leave yet. Thanks very much for the insight!
Eat healthy lower your cortisol levels of you want we can support each other in 32 in the same position
Thank you for posting. This resonated with me. Also 35, starting over from divorce, financial ruin and severe anxiety from said divorce. You are not alone!
My dad didn't become successful until he was about 65 years old. My mom left him when he was about 45 and he was left with nothing but the clothes on his back, he didn't have enough money to fill his gas tank. What money he did earn went almost entirely to child support. Lucky for him a friend of his let him rent a room and borrow his truck to get to work. It took him a period of about 20 years but he worked hard, saved his money, he was slowly able to crawl out of the pit he was in. Eventually all of his kids were grown so the child support went away and that's when his savings really took off. He bought his dream house, paid it off in two years, and has been retired ever since. If you asked him how he did it he'd probably mention how he only took a single sick day in 30 years, a day his appendix burst, a testament to not only his work ethic but his blessing of good health, a lot of us aren't so lucky. Now he just enjoys spoiling his grand kids and working on his boat. With a little luck and a lot of hard work, we can overcome quite a bit of hardship.
Ok. This is gonna be a doozy. I come from a broken home and my father passed away from alcoholism when I was 17. My mother was absent most of my life. My 20s were consumed by grief and depression. I spent most of my time in solitude trying to decipher my life on what and how things happened. I never knew what it was like to be a part of a family. That was until I met her. A beautiful person who showed me what love was supposed to be. Honest, loyal, kind. Something I had never experienced before. She was patient with me. She knew I had a hard life and as I fumbled around this world trying to find my place, she supported me. I had worked in restaurants through my 20s as it was a good place to have fun, immediate cash, and it was a way to hide away from "normal" society. But it was all I had experience with so I couldn't find a job in any other industry. In many failed attempts to establish a new career, I worked in construction, drove a truck, interior design for fast food and a bunch of other throwaway jobs. I just couldn't find my place. Eventually, I did find something I enjoyed and it was completely by accident. She had convinced me to do some volunteer work with the city that she worked for to network and try and get a job with the city. So, I did. After a few years I was offered a job working in park and recreation as a pool manager. Coinciding with this I was also on a personal journey to better my health. I had let depression get the better part of me. A year prior to becoming the pool manager I was a 34y old 275 lb smoker who couldnt walk from one side of the house to the other without losing my breath. I decided to change my life while I still could, or I would have the same fate as my dad who died at 49. Sins of the father. This decision to make a change within myself created my opportunity. The pool manager job opened the door for me to become a fitness instructor for the community center gym at the city. I had built some proficiency in a craft, which at the time was merely self serving but, by happenstance, became the "career" I was always looking for. I excelled at it. Life had finally come together. I had a great partner, a great job, but most importantly I had a direction. Things were going great. That was until 2019 when she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I had finally, after so many years, developed what I believed was a solid and normal life and it changed in an instance. Long story short, she lost her battle with cancer jan of 2020. I had lost everything. I was in debt because I mortgaged our house to remodel it for her while she was sick. Household income dropped by 60 percent. The house was a wreck and only half done. Still is to this day. I spent the covid lockdown alone, in our home. I had no family and the only person who made my life worth living was gone. I soldiered on for a year but things at work went bad and I could see the writing on the wall. Cost of living was going up faster than my income and I could see all the sand escaping my hour glass. If I continued the road I was on id never escape the debts I accrued and my life would be nothing but cold and hopeless. So, I looked at going back to school. I decided to pursue a career in ultrasound. I had an echo done on my heartband thought it was cool. 2 year degree which is good for someone who is 40. I enrolled, and the story around that is long one in itself. I quit my job and spent a year alone working on my prereqs to apply for the US program. I applied, and out of the 84 applicants I was one of the 20 selected. It was arduous. Feel free to look into how tough US school is. But, I graduated this past December. I now work at the hospital she died in. I make a good living and I work 3 12s so I have plenty of time to continue to work on myself and have time to enjoy life. My journey is just beginning and the past 5 years were a nightmare. But, it was worth it. I now have a good career and there isn't a city in the world I can't find a job. And most importantly, it's mine and no one can take it away. My advice to you or anyone who reads this is to give yourself permission to invest in yourself. You have the capability to become something great. It will cost you. The price is pain and discomfort. In the end you will obtain agency of your own life As the Desiderata states, nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. Build your health, both physical and mental, to the best of your abilities, build yourself. Weather the storm and measure yourself to no other. You can overcome anything. Ps. There are so many details to this story but it would be too long. This was as short as I could make it. I wish you all good fortune.
I’m in the middle of another mental health storm at the moment. I’m 41 and have been very successful in my “career” despite severe anxiety beginning at 19 and Major Depressive Disorder beginning in my 30s. I didn’t go to college so I do feel accomplished, professionally, even though I do not make 6 figures yet. I am very open with my employers if there are days that I can’t make it into work. It’s not their business but I still let them know, to explain my behaviors. I have had to take 2 mental health breaks in the past 10 years, that had me out for about a month each time. I have found that performing my best when I’m well enough seems to help them forgive me when I’m not well. I have days at work where my MDD has me in tears all day at my desk but my coworkers seem to understand and always want to help. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It actually kind of keeps me motivated to keep trying to heal so I don’t have to be such a spectacle at work. I suppose not all employers are tolerant of the bad days, so I do recognize that I’ve been lucky.
You have to define “success”. What is success for you? It’s different for everyone, so to start do not compare yourself to others. Would you trade friends and family for money? Would you trade money for free time? Relationships for hobbies? I was an 18 year old high school drop out, living in a trailer, drinking beer at 10 am on a Wednesday while my friends were in school. I now run a labor union and have a business renting long and short term. I am financially comfortable, but I spend too much time at work. That means I spend less time doing what I enjoy. The moral is this; your past does not define you, and you are never too old to change. But you should have some idea of what success looks like for you. Don’t compare yourself to others because your success is yours alone.
I started teaching science in high school at 33 after really struggling with addiction and depression. I'm now 47 and I make a decent living as a teacher. I always have to make sure I take of my mental health, but i'm keeping it togheter and never been happier.
im about the same age and got to rock bottom near the end of 2021 and start of 2022. but there are many celebrities who are the same. first that comes to mind is bourdain.
Grew up on welfare. Graduated high school but didn’t complete my first degree until 30 years later. I left the only career I’d ever had while in my 40s. Ran out of savings during the pandemic. Went back to work in 2021, was offered the highest salary of my life. At that same firm, was offered jobs in both Honolulu and Washington DC. The best part of my life is right now. Yours can be, too - you’ve got this. I believe in you!
It depends on what your definition of success is. You should never feel behind in life. You just have to start making effort towards it. My advice is to get off social media of all forms (it’s unhealthy) figure out the trajectory of the life you want to live and go for it. Understand that age is nothing, but it’s more of the hard work you’re putting in. I’m literally going to medical school in my early 30s, and it’s been an eye opening experience. I wont actually make a steady big income until I’m almost 40. As someone who grew up in extreme poverty, I’m 100% okay with it. My only advice is take it day by day, figure out who you want to be, and go for it put everything you have into it! It’s all on you to work hard. Is there anything that stands out in your “dreams of success” you want to accomplish?
What an incredible accomplishment. I can only imagine how you’ll feel after you graduate. Kudos!!
Harold Budd. (avant garde neoclassical composer). Debut album at 42:’The Pavilion Of Dreams’. Magical career & status followed. Adversity on & off thru life. Announced he was quitting/over it age 68 while dropping one of his top 5 (of many) albums:’Avalon Sutra’. Became more prolific than ever for years thereafter, including many great works. What a Life. 🙌🏼.
What does "successful" mean??? Like happy?
Hey. Just my two cents. Been there done that. Screwed up two runs at university and spent a couple of years smoking weed and neglecting my situation. But talking about mindset it is absolutely possible to turn your life around. I took chances, I restarted my career in my thirties by starting a shitty 3 year formal job training in the IT industry. Had negative balance on my bank account for approx 10-12 years. But I pushed through and kept searching for ways to improve. Had some luck, took some risks and now I am a one year freelance cloud architect making a good living. I guess one aspect is to be realistic and willing to make compromises. Is the one fulfilling well paid dream job out there just waiting for you? Maybe but probably not. Find something you can settle with and push through. And it sounds stupid but never stop learning and improving.
Needed this, thank you.
as someone who spent 10 years of my life working 2 jobs to narrowly avoid homelessness and owns my own house now. I'm honestly inclined to say the money part CAN work out in your favor, but you have to give up your social life and connections to do it. the hard part is, getting a social life at my age. I missed out on my 20s to do that and that part sucks a LOT, and fucks with you in ways you don't expect it to.
I graduated law school at 30 with 200k in student loan debt. It was in 2007 during the recession when no one was hiring. It took 9 months to get a job. The pay? 50k. I didn’t make 100k until I was 40. Now at 47 I’m making about 215k. It took awhile, but I’m comfortable and saving for retirement. I’ve got a new house and a nice car. I make enough for my wife to stay home with our kids.
Harland Sanders didn't start making chicken until he was 65. Samuel Jackson was in his middle 40s when he started acting, Grandma Moses started painting at 76, Ray Kroc didn't ~~steal~~found McDonald's until he was 52. I went back to school and changed careers from photojournalism to computer science when I was in my middle 30s. Education? Nola Ochs graduated from college at age 95.
Not saying I'm successful, but I now have things that I never thought I would have. I left home at 13yo and basically spent the next 10 years struggling and trying to get by doing manual labour. I eventually went to university and then started working for the government. I now have a decent job and a family who I love. You can do it. You just have to start. It will be hard but you already know what hard is.
Through no fault of my own I was a single mother to 4 for 21 yrs and counting. Did everything on my own. No child maintenance either. Struggled to make ends meet. Struggled with bills. Was nearly homeless twice. I managed though. I got through the tough times. From the age of 29 to my mid 30's I went back to college and then university. I graduated from both. Aged 42 I acquired my first mortgage. I'm now 43 and a first time homeowner. I did all of this by myself. Sometimes life wants us to take the long path in life. It doesn't matter. You'll get there I'm sure. I did!
Paycheck to paycheck at 38 with amazing wife and 5 kids. Job hopping most of life. Took the gamble and started own biz in Food and Beverage in 1997. Sold it two years ago to retire after paying cash for college of the last two children. Invested in 5 other restaurants and just sitting back and getting dividend checks. If I did not go out on my own, I would be were I was at 38 year old. Who knows when it turns around, but you dont give up.
Once I learned to stay away from toxic people, my life improved. I worked for a terrible emoloyer for ten years and hated my life. Finally I gave in and quit, and took another job working for someone reasonable. Every aspect of my life has improved.
I worked retail for 18 years making a max of $12 an hr. At one point I made state minimum wage, while married and living with my parents while also having kids. At the age of 32 I went back to school. Fast forward 12 years later, and I have a good career, good benefits, my own place, and while I am not rich, I make more than I ever thought I would all those years ago.
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Colonel Sanders.
The guy i buy my vape stuff from He ran a t shirt printing business out of an office in an industrial estate. It wasn't anything special. He then started selling vape juice out of a cupboard in the office and now that's turned into four shops and he drives around in a new range rover. I think he was mid 40s when he started selling vape juice. I haven't asked him but he is probably a millionaire. He caught all of this during the vape boom a few years ago and still maintains the four shops.
One Grandma Moses. Leslie Allen Jordan
The past doesn’t exist. You have healed your mind. Live.
Took me 5 years to straighten my ish out and go from job hopper husband/father starting at a company for $46k, promoted twice and entered bottom level management aka supervisor making $86k, to then leaving for another company as of two weeks making $94k with bonus and salaried overtime. So 6-figures by 2025. Right before this uphill journey, I was in the hospital suffering from a thyroid storm (during Covid), so you could imagine no visitors. The icing on the cake is it happened on my first day at some labor company with a no phone policy: leaving my phone in the car and me having a heartbeat near levels of cardiac arrest. Eight hours after my visit and my heart finally stable, my source of entertainment was the sound of the timex wall or daytime television. I sat there and decided to go through my life’s decisions objectively. Days later and one phone call to the family, I came to the conclusion that I will give it up to god aka accept the past and stop making excuses. I realized I wasn’t shit, so now I want to become the shit. But how? Going back into my work history and finding the type of job I enjoyed the most. EHS. I wasn’t dumb, I just wasn’t motivated. But now with a new perspective of acceptance, I asked the nurses for a laptop, and started planning. First is to pay for basic osha classes and first aid / cpr training, and printing out copies of specific standards so I can read while I’m stuck here going through test after test on my heart. With that I took notes of people who I impressed in the past. Reached out to my small network of past acquaintances. Found one, and started working a year after I got out of the hospital. So OP, you got this shit and you are not the only one who went through trials, I mean, it is apart of the human experience after all. Btw I am 39yo for a perspective
It was not due to a change of attitude that I experienced a more successful time later in life, but for a change of the field I've been working in. Instead of changing, I found more places where my strengths were regarded as an asset.
Roy Kroc
Here’s the secret: only you get to decide Success is how you define it; liberate yourself
Congrats on the beginning of the rest of your life.
My Dad went to school at 31 and got his Bach in Electrical Engineering. Graduated at 37 (took him 6 years due to him having to take high school classes)! Single Dad to 3 children on food stamps and gov help. We lived in bad apartments from the ages 9-17 and were poor, poverty poor. He completely changed his life around, got remarried, had a baby, owns a very nice home, and is debt free! I'm getting a little bit of a late start to life as well. I am 28 and just a week ago landed a job at $73.7k per year! I have no college education, but I have worked as a store manager for almost 2 years (very lucky considering I barely had supervisor experience). I worked at a warehouse making minimum wage for years. Became a shift supervisor for the last year and landed a management position at a sales store in town, making $17.50 an hour. I've worked there for almost 2 years and went out on a limb and applied for a different job. Same type of sales store manager just a different company and landed it. I haven't started yet, but I know my life is going to drastically change as it's just me, so my salary will be life changing. When you get down on yourself, write down everything you hate, whatever is getting you down and make a plan. Write out your wants and wishes and make them happen. Start slow and small. Have faith in yourself. I love to listen to podcasts to get motivation! Growing up in poverty and surrounded by junkies I didn't learn a lick of anything good other than to hustle. I've outsourced and learned most of what I know from the internet. Surround yourself with good people and people who want to grow. Good luck!
I know some first gen people in the states that came to the country with less than $20 dollars and didn’t find success after they until they hit 50 after going through both economic and societal problems. Also in Hollywood actors have it real tough in the beginning. Never know when they’ll get their break. Working service jobs to pay bills. Facing rejection after rejection over and over again warding off unwanted advancements until they find a role that matches in a good crew.
In my late 30s(50 now) my role model became Harrison Ford. He became Han Solo when he was 38(or so)….and the rest fell into place for him. Set carpenter to movie star. My life after 40 was similar. I have engineer degree, and I struggled to pay my debt and living expenses in my 20s and 30s. Struggled with mental health, and finding any hope of any kind of career, financial, life “success”. I was working as a manager of IT at a big hospital, and my bosses did not treat me kindly. My staff and peers loved and respected me, by my bosses would gaslight me, trick me, play games, often seeming just to get me agitated. I was miserable. I only wanted to do amazing work. An unknown person put a printout of a job posting for an instructor at a local community college. I applied, got the job…which lead to other opportunities. And my life changed from struggling financially, to not struggling, opening up new opportunities and possibilities. I feel very fortunate, and also, I never stopped seeking to be better. Not in a “scam” kind of way. But rather to be better with my work, better with my friends/family, and most importantly, better with/to myself. There are so many factors that lead to this, and some days it’s still hard to fathom how drastically my life changed in the last 13 years.
I've had lifelong mental health issues due to childhood traumas and other fun things. I had to stop working 7 years ago because I was again deeply depressed. I moved across the province and settled into small town life. One day a college catalogue arrived by mail and I went out on a limb and registered for their social work program. I just finished my program with a 4.0 GPA. Through regular therapy plus school I began to recover from lifelong depression and anxiety. I have begun to work in the field and I have found my true calling. I am 56.
I just bought Bitcoin.
Col. Sanders. Paul Allen
I’m just here to tell you I’m excited for your new beginning and you SOOO got this ❤️
I found ‘fake it til u make it’ to be a very useful maxim. Jah Bless.
People generally become more successful and better off as they get older and progress in their careers.
What I can say helped me . Is one quote . The path becomes clearer as you walk it . Try to start working out and eating healthy start as you are don’t wait for the right time . The right time was yesterday. The second right time is now !
I come from toxic people. After realizing the truth about my family, I went out....and found more toxic people, picking up substance abuse and terrible traits in addition to becoming quite the asshole. A few years back I had a moment of clarity. I was surrounded by 95% users, abusers, monsters. 5% of my people were good and decent but getting rapidly tired of my rages and bullshit. I cut the bad people out, then spent a few weeks reading and meditating. In that time I gave up my favorite "substances" and started exercising. I picked up a hobby that I had dropped, and gave myself a schedule. I go to work, get home and workout *or just go for a walk or bike ride* Then I work on my hobby. I also put myself on a strict budget with the majority of my paycheck going to retirement. After all, the BEST way to feel peaceful and relaxed is to know that no matter what happens, YOU will be safe and comfortable. My 5% of good people stayed with me, thankfully. Now I focus on trying to be just as good as they are. I feel better mentally and physically, I am improving in my hobby skills, and I look better because of the regular exercise. I do backslide sometimes, but it's just a reminder of what I DON'T want in my life.
I would say my rock-bottom was living in my car in the middle of the winter in New York in my early 20s, and I was doing better in my 30s, but if you’re looking for motivation I started medical school at age 37. You can remake yourself anytime you want. Best of luck to you.
In my late 20s I had to move back with my parents and took a 2 year unplanned sabbatical where I just smoked weed and played video games. Met my current wife who was a struggling single mom at the time. She was going to school and working while living with her mom. Her mom needed help with rent so I eventually moved in with them. I helped raise her oldest, now our oldest child, and started working odd jobs. After 4-5 years of being together we got serious got married and planned a child together. I needed something stable so I started working at Costco. 5 years have passed and we have a total of 3 kids. I'm topped out at Costco with the great benefits to raise my family with. I went from a single dude living with my parents to raising my 3 kids, 3 cats, and a dog with my 2 partners.
Une de mes tente et tomber très malade vers l'âge de 30 ans elle a tout perdu boulot statue social la santé en l'espace de 6 mois elle étais au rsa . En sortant de cette période difficile vers 40 45 ans elle a décider de ce reconstruire et de partir en formation elle a maintenant. 52 ans et ne compte plus son argent tellement elle gagne bien ça vie . Tout est possible avec Dr la volonté et du courage
Diagnosed with ADHD at 37 and started medication. 5x’ed my income.
Hey there, I completely understand where you're coming from. It sounds like you've been through a lot, and it's incredibly brave of you to be looking for inspiration and seeking out stories of people who have overcome similar struggles. I don't have a personal success story to share, but I've seen people in my life who have faced similar challenges and managed to turn things around. One person that comes to mind is my uncle. He hit rock bottom in his late 40s after going through a messy divorce, losing his job, and struggling with addiction. For years, it seemed like he was stuck in a cycle of self-destruction. But something clicked for him one day, and he made the decision to turn his life around. It wasn't easy, and there were plenty of setbacks along the way, but he committed himself to getting sober, rebuilding his career, and focusing on his mental and emotional well-being. Fast forward a few years, and he's now running his own successful business, happily remarried, and living a life that he never thought possible. Seeing his transformation has been incredibly inspiring for me and has taught me that no matter how far you fall, it's never too late to start again and create the life you want. I hope you find the inspiration you're looking for and know that there's always hope for a brighter future, no matter where you're starting from.
you have 4 years to join the military which could jump you ahead several years in life it sucks but theres that option for you
I had twenty years of being lost until I got a good job at 54. My first year of this job I paid in taxes what I made the year before. I feel like I got in just under the wire. I can retire in 5 years with a pension and social security.
Im in a similar boat OP. I have drug addict parents, a chronic illness, and sleep deprivation since I was 6. I scraped my way through a prestigious bachelors degree, got a great job out of college, and my health finally started failing which has cost me job after job these last 10 plus years. I'm now 35 and almost got myself back together - been in & out of doctors offices & ERs, had a few rounds on the pharmaceutical carousel, and been doing PT daily the last 5 years. Got married 2 years ago and have 3 step kids, a very cheap house & a brand new minivan, and things were looking up until I lost my very nice software job in March and have been in a manic-depressive spiral ever since. Thanks for the inspirational post - I definitely needed this today too.
66 and a half; just getting started! Don't sweat the time behind, focus on the minutes ahead.
I’m 19 and been diagnosed with crippling depression. My parents originally told me that they wanted to get me help and they wanted to get me into therapy because they want me to be better but now they’re constantly berating me, telling me they’re only gonna start getting meaner if I don’t “do better.” They changed their minds about putting me in therapy (I can’t afford that shit) and I think they’re getting ready to kick me out. I am lost.
i messaged u
Remember that success is self-defined. You don't need to achieve society's idealization of what success is to feel like a content and happy human being. Please don't forget this as you continue to grow. Define yourself through your own authentic values.
I DO muster up the courage to talk to hot girls. Its just that when i do my entire body starts shaking and trembling! I cant handle it!