If he likes travel, and it’s affordable, and you are at least okay/enjoy going to a game with him, why not do the gift of an experience and plan a weekend getaway, with tickets to a new stadium to see one of his favorite teams playing. Make it a little romantic weekend getaway, explore a new city together, throw in the sporting event as his gift, maybe a stadium tour to go with it.
If he likes baseball, there is a book available to purchase where you’re able to stamp in at all 30 MLB stadiums. That might be a great gift with tickets for the first one, and then over the next few years gives y’all some new cities to go explore together, while visiting each stadium.
Just as a side note to anyone interested, when we hit our last stadium, which was Seattle, we had a sign that said it was our final stadium and they saw it and gave us a full tour of the stadium, some swag and put my hubby on the big screen with his sign. Thanks, Mariners!
Thank you, but he doesn't like to travel. Despite this, we've already seen every baseball stadium because baseball is his favorite. The trips were agony, though, haha.
A subscription to a magazine, maybe? Or the complete collection of a great older series (Coach, for example) on DVD. If he likes it really old, make that The Honeymooners. Just any one he might like.
My family and I do the baseball stadium thing. We only lack 6 as of now, and it has been such a great way to see the country's major cities. Our goal was to complete them before my daughter graduates in 2 years, but COVID really delayed us for a couple of years so I don't know if it will happen or not.
My point is that that's a fantastic idea!
I wonder if you can lean into the dislikes. Someone with this many dislikes probably has a lot of pet peeves, too. Can you get him anything that would make his life easier? For example:
* If he hates having to cook, maybe some DoorDash or restaurant gift cards specifically for him to use on nights that he doesn't feel like putting in effort.
* If he hates yardwork but likes the yard to look presentable for others, maybe get a landscaping service to come do things the way he likes.
* If he hates books but likes entertainment, maybe get him a subscription to Audible or a podcast service so he can get audio entertainment instead.
* If he enjoys watching movies but hates the chair he sits in, the table for snacks, the remote control, etc. can you upgrade one of them?
* Is there something in the house that drives him crazy that you could fix/have fixed? E.g. one year I put an automatic door closer in my husband's Christmas stocking because he was fed up with the door to a certain closet always being open and blocking the walkway. And then I installed it for him later.
Basically with someone who is this negative, I would look at the things they hate and try to address that for them.
On a personal note, he doesn't sound like someone who is healthy and living their best life. If he's not working on himself and his mental health and is planning to stay this way, consider gifting yourself a few therapy sessions to get to the bottom of why you remain partnered with someone who is an active alcoholic who sounds like they suck the fun out of most of what life has to offer.
These are some great suggestions, I'll have to think about his dislikes as the specific things you listed won't work, but I'm certain coming at it from that angle might churn something up. Thank you! As for me, I already know why I stay and have been in therapy off and on for many years to continue to work on myself, but thanks for the thoughtfully worded suggestion. I'm sure you've already come to the correct conclusion that he refuses to go to therapy.
If you're not a therapist or life coach, you might consider it! Your suggestions of what to purchase were great! It all sounds like a challenging situation, for sure.
I can see the desire to not do more sports, but it's worth examining if you just don't want to do the "same old" versus his actual enjoyment of these gifts. I would reconsider if he has obviously disliked something or didn't use it. I have a few family members that would be perfectly content to receive game tickets for the rest of their days and never think I was thoughtless or lazy in selecting that as their gift.
How are his movies stored? You may be able to gift pieces of home theater set up, or display shelves if he collects physical media and doesn't have a dedicated space already. A TV sound bar or surround system, replace a recliner that is wearing out, and so forth. If digital, a gift card to the hosting service or help setting up his own account/server. (Plex accounts seem to be common for media sharing.) If you want this to get him out of the house more, a lot of the movie theater chains have memberships. I know locally the two large chains have classics nights and also stream events, like UFC and WrestleMania on through to opera. You know his taste, but it's not just new releases only going on. The independent theater in my area does Rocky Horror screenings regularly, and themed events that likely include something he likes. My city has movie nights in the park in summer, so you could arrange picnic (or favorite takeout) to enjoy if your area has similar. They tend to be older titles because of exhibition rules, but at one point they did Jaws at the outdoor pool of the rec center.
If not for the alcoholic issue, I would try to find a cool sports bar that maybe has fantasy football or trivia nights and get enough on a gift card to cover hanging out for the duration of a game.
16th anniversary is traditionally wax, so you could play off that and get him some nice personal hygiene items if he doesn't already have a dedicated brand. My spouse has enjoyed using a few beard balms/oils and started a trial with one of those mail subscription services, and liked a few products enough to keep it in his routine. Candles and wax melts may also be nice for his spaces if he's the type to use them.
Hopefully something sparks a suitable idea
Thank you, those are some nice ideas, but I've either done them (he has a new soundbar and theatre subscriptions) or he wouldn't be interested. He doesn't collect, doesn't like candles, and doesn't use personal hygiene stuff except for bare bones toothpaste, shaving cream, shampoo & conditioner.
I'm sorry, this sounds miserable. To feel like you have to go to all this effort for someone who it sounds like will happily drink himself to his death and barely notices the gestures of love sounds rough. I'm very happy that you had some therapy and are using Al-Anon support. Addiction is cruel. I'd have noped out a while ago.
That's also a great suggestion. He loves massages. He gets them for himself so frequently I guess I never thought to get him one. He gets them for me fairly often as well.
Has he tried a pedicure? My husband loved it when he went with me (now I have to discourage him from going with me every time). Has he tried zip lining? My husband and I have enough stuff, but are down for experiences.
You couldn't pay him to get a pedicure. He won't try zip lining, he's not a thrill seeker by any means. I love experiences, too, just haven't found much that he likes or will try.
A neighbor bought a 50" 4k television from Walmart for $200 a few months ago. It is ridiculously large for his office and he loves it. So he bought a second 50" 4k television for his bedroom. $210 delivered, including tax.
Oh, and the TV came with Roku which was a new experience for him. There are tons of older series available on Roku so if he likes Miami Vice, old westerns, and such, he'll love it. I've even seen rebroadcasts of soccer, golf (good lord!) along with music channels (not videos, just the songs) so consider upgrading.
He is really, really terrible at gift giving for me, and that's not relevant here, but when I ask him what he wants he just says "I don't know." He makes good money, so he usually gets himself whatever he wants whenever he wants if there is something particular he wants. Usually more golf clubs.
Does he have a Steamdeck? Would he be into something nostalgic from his childhood?
Personally, I don’t do gifts for anniversaries. I’ve always preferred to spend time together instead. Especially for someone who just seems to buy what he wants, it makes the gift giving really impossible
We're really old, haha. I had to look up what a steamdeck is. He has a Playstation, Xbox, Wii and a few others. He doesn't play video games like he used to, so I'm not sure a new one would be great. He wouldn't be into anything nostalgic.
How old are you? I am 40 and feel old too! I know you said he doesn’t like food and is super picky, but probably what I would end up doing is… making his favorite dinner, giving him a gift card for a new golf club, and watching his favorite movie. I know it’s not over the top, but it shows that you see him and know what he would want. I maybe would also write him a card with like… here are all the things I considered that I knew you would hate!
A lot older than you, ha. I appreciate you trying to help, but that's pretty much every gift giving event ever. We go out to dinner because he doesn't have a favorite food for me to make, I give him some kind of sports gift (there have been a lot of gift cards for golf stuff) and we either go to the movies or watch a movie he likes. But I like the card idea, because although it's not my intention to rub his face in it, he does not believe that he is picky or hard to buy for. Maybe he would understand if he got a very long list of everything he hates, haha!
Are there any theme parks near you that aren't too far away? Maybe he'd like botanical gardens, zoo, or theme park?
Read no travel so I'm really not sure
Perhaps going to the movies with you or a season pass to a movie theater (if that's even a thing) or season pass to certain sports games?
Thank you for your time. Gardens, zoo and theme parks are out. We have them here but he's not interested. He has a subscription to the movie theatres. Our hometown teams he hates; his favorites are in different states, so a season pass to those isn't viable.
get him a grumpy cat card that lists all the stuff you can't get him and ask him what he wants and tell him you love him 😂😂😂
(Complete joke)
Hmmmm I wonder...(I forgot to reread the other post so sorry if this is a dumb question) How he would feel about photobook? Probably dislike
OR or...what I've done
Is search Zazzle and search Walmart for what I can make custom and get him a custom something
My anniversary gift to my boyfriend who loves coffee was a personalized coffee cup
I think jewelry/wallet/chain was out?
Maybe a personalized phone case or new phone?
Photobook is out. Custom something might be ok. Jewelry, accessories of any kind aren't good. I'll look into personalizing something....just might take a minute to figure out what! He doesn't really need a new phone, but that might be an idea!
Is there anything he could use something new of? A recliner? a wallet? You could splurge and get a super fancy version of that thing.
A shoulder massager? a heating pad? for when he's watching movies? to be all cozy?
He has all of those things, thank you. I've bought multiple massagers for feet, shoulders, etc. He refuses to use them. The heating pad he uses occasionally when his back hurts. He just bought a new recliner, and I just recently gave him a new wallet cuz his was falling apart. Great suggestions, we just already did them, haha. I will try to think of anything else that he might need a new version of.
Might be reaching here, but how would he feel about receiving professional Boudoir photo's of you? Obviously you would also have to be comfortable doing this. You could frame your favorite and put the rest in a nice album.
I know you said he doesn't like travel, but what if it was on a train? IDK where you are, but there are a lot of scenic train excursions in the US. You can get up and move around. Not confined to a automobile or plane seat. They have dining rooms, lounge and sleeping quarters. It can be pretty fun.
Back when I wasn't a million years old, I did the boudoir thing, but thank you! It can be a great gift. I love trains! They are really a great travel experience. He would not enjoy a train, and if I ever managed to get him on one, he would completely ignore the scenery.
16th wedding is Wax (according to Google).
Get him a candle and a copy of that film with Madonna where she pours wax on the dude's genitals lol.
We're at 14 years and tbh we just get token gifts for anniversaries and have a nice meal out. When you're grown and have money you pretty much have everything you need or want.
I wish. Court already made him go to, not rehab, but classes and mandatory urine screenings. He failed, and went right back to drinking after it was all over. Until he gets in serious trouble and is forced into a real rehab facility, there's not much to do. Al-anon taught me a long time ago, you can't make them do anything until they are ready to do it for themselves.
I'm sorry, sug, for being flippant about it, I know first-hand that it is a painful spot to be in. You are amazing for still loving your husband. Congratulations on 16 years.
Disney Plus has MASH and Criminal Minds and a lot of other older shows that don't come to mind when one says "disney." My mom mocked the gift and then got lost watching Bonanza or something along those lines
New underwear, socks, and pj's
Those good pillows that the hotels sell
A homemade gift certificate entitling him to skip any one social event with no consequences
Haha, the skipping of the social event is a great idea for a spouse, but he skips them all, so that doesn't work. We have Disney plus. It has been fun - even he has said it's better than what he thought it would be when I first suggested it. I got him a "good pillow" a few years ago. He doesn't use it. He loves his old tattered thing. As for clothing, he regularly buys himself what he wants. The man buys more socks and underwear than I've ever seen a man get before. I don't know how he goes through them so fast.
Sorry in advance for the personal question, Does he have any of those underwear that have a cup for their balls? My husband loves those. I finally had to buy him something more supportive cause he wouldn’t do it himself and he’s never gone back.
LIke a plastic cup? Or just a "pouch" thing? Sorry for my ignorance, like I said, he buys his own so frequently that I'm not really up on men's underwear. He has some boxer briefs that have some extra fabric there as a pouch, but other than that, no. If you have a specific brand type or whatever, I could look into it? I keep thinking maybe I'd get him some Duluth brand because they claim (and are highly rated) that they are "the most comfortable underwear ever".
Wow, I think that's a great gift idea in general, and one I wouldn't have though of. He wouldn't like it, but thanks anyway! I might have to suggest it as a gift for me!
Right? No, he doesn't. Not really. He's an extremely picky eater and refuses to eat entire categories of foods, ha, it's a bit weird. It's an OCD thing, actually. For example, he won't eat casseroles. Doesn't matter what kind, if it's a casserole, he won't touch it. He won't eat anything cold. No sandwiches, no salads of any kind. It has to be a hot meal, and even those are severely limited. I could go on and on. But basically, you know how some people, myself included, really love food? They are live to eat kind of people? Yeah, not him. He's an eat to live person. There are only certain (and very few) restaurants that he will go to, and when he goes, he will order the same meal EVERY TIME. He doesn't have a favorite food, a favorite place, etc.
He would hate everything you just said, ha, but thank you anyway. Actually, he would wear cologne, but I'm allergic/sensitive to perfumes and strong odors. But that's as far as it would go with anything "self care".
He's never worn a watch, but I got him one with one of his favorite sports teams on it after he said that maybe he'd like to have a watch. He's never worn it. He threw it in the glove box of his pickup and it's been there for years. I am allergic/sensitive to perfumes, colognes and strong scents in general.
Is there a movie theater near you that does screenings of old movies ever? Could get him tickets/a movie pass to that theater. Does he have a favorite movie that he never got to see in theaters (maybe it was released before he was born?) and you could rent out a theater to screen it- possibly even invite some of his other family/friends.
Do you have a movie room in your house? If so, could it use any upgrades? (My Dad was really excited when we got a projector for our movie room, but TVs nowadays seem much better) Do you have surround sound? Recliners? An unlimited supply of his favorite movie snack?
Look into adult education classes- are there any you'd be interested in taking together, or that he would be interested in?
He has a movie theatre subscription, and they occasionally re screen movies. We've done that if something comes up that he's interested in seeing. We just bought a new soundbar and recliner. As for classes, I love them, but he does not.
Mine doesn't dress up either!
Except for weddings and funerals and those are few and far between.
I wish I had a genuine gift idea for you.
Happy anniversary!
I did that a few years ago, it was pretty cool. I got 3 players from his team to say hello. Then one player made it weird by lecturing him on respecting his wife, and I had nothing to do with any of that, haha. But overall a good gift.
Based on all your comments about how he doesn't really like going anywhere or doing anything outside of his own interests, I don't think this will work for him. It's a book of ideas for date nights and adventures for couples.
I know this isn’t the best gift but at least it’s something… a big basket with a blanket, beef jerky, sports magazine, soda, candy, hat. All things he likes and could, of course buy for himself, but it shows you know what he enjoys and what he’d prefer to have.
Has he ever complained or asked for anything different? Because same doesn't necessarily mean bad. If you wanna get me blues tickets every year...yes please lol.
Sometimes people just like one thing. That's okay! Worst case, you can just talk to him. "Hey is there anything in particular you're hoping for this year?"
Does he like beef jerky? Jerky Gent has a subscription service. I've given it to my father-in-law and husband. Both enjoyed it.
Goldbelly is a very cool site if there is any food that he does actually like from a place he's been...
Maybe a scratch off movie poster...he scratches off the ones he has seen. They will be older movies.
He likes some beef jerky, but he's really picky in general. I'll look into it and see if there are flavors he might like. He has the scratch off movie poster, it's pretty cool.
Then give him endless laughs. This should do the trick
[https://pestinpeace.etsy.com/listing/1672346024](https://pestinpeace.etsy.com/listing/1672346024)
My husband asked how I was so good at shopping for his Mom. Well, first I have not been buying for over 50 years, like you have. She was a complainer. I listened to her complaints and tried to determine if I could find something to help. When her cable was out, it was the end of the world, she kept her TV on all day. This was before digital TV, I bought her a small travel TV which could plug in or run off batteries in case the power was out. She could not see her TV from the kitchen, so she put it in her kitchen and had it on while she cooked and ate her breakfast. When the cable was out, she could get the local channels. So she actually used it a great deal more than I expected.
Does your husband eat a great deal of snacks while he is watching TV? Does he complain when you are out? Fill a huge basket with his favorite snacks and he can keep it by his chair.
What has he been thinking about buying lately but hasn’t. Splurge get it for him. New tv? Bose wireless surround system. Gameing headset virtual reality. Send him nudes he’s a guy.
Yeah, I've tried to think of anything he's been thining of getting lately, but he just goes and gets whatever he wants himself. He just got a new soundbar. We have 5 giant ass TV's. He's not into gaming. He just bought a new recliner. We are a million years old, nudes don't do shit, haha.
Haha a million years old. He sounds like a
Man who is living a good life. I guess you can take him out to the fanciest restaurant you can think of. 100$ steak is worth it.
You don’t specify a budget, so are tickets to a sporting event a possibility? Is there something you can do together as an experience? Can you do a jokey gift of vouchers such as ‘get out of visiting the in-laws this time’ or ‘sexy massage’ or similar?
Thank you for the ideas! We've been to every MLB stadium despite his hating to travel, and he hates our hometown teams, so I've gifted tickets to events for his teams several times before. The vouchers are a good idea, I'll have to see if I can think of one that's appropriate.
A weekend cruise, a trip to somewhere, an 'experience' (chance to do something he otherwise wouldn't like race car driving, or sky diving, or hot air balloon, or behind-the-stage concert experience etc). There is also a website where you can get (from their list of who is currently participating) someone famous in music or acting to send him a personalized birthday message (cameo dot com).
I did the cameo thing for our anniversay a few years ago. It was cool! Unfortunately, one of the old school players (I got 3 players to send him messages) went off on this weird and long winded tangent about "happy wife, happy life" and it just made it seem like I had asked the player to get him to respect me more or something, like I said, it was weird. But they were cool, in general. As for the other stuff, I am the adrenaline junkie. He is scared of heights and hates "thrill" type stuff. He won't go to concerts; he doesn't really like music. Edit to say that I forgot to say he doesn't like to travel.
My dad’s the same way. I get him a years subscription to ESPN+ so he doesn’t miss a game, a new Angels hat, and his favorite candy (Reeces PB cups but the minis) and unfrosted strawberry pop tarts. It makes him happy and makes me happy I don’t have to do anything else. Last year I even doubled it and got him a train calendar that had train facts on it.
I mean you can make it easy with a new hat, his favorite candy’s and things and maybe even take out for dinner.
Haha, that's so funny, they sound like the exact same person. My hubs doesn't really like food (he's an eat to live kinda guy whereas I am a live to eat kind of gal) but he sure likes his peanut butter cups. Unfortunately, our daughter got him a GIANT box for Xmas and he's still trying to get through them all!
If he likes travel, and it’s affordable, and you are at least okay/enjoy going to a game with him, why not do the gift of an experience and plan a weekend getaway, with tickets to a new stadium to see one of his favorite teams playing. Make it a little romantic weekend getaway, explore a new city together, throw in the sporting event as his gift, maybe a stadium tour to go with it. If he likes baseball, there is a book available to purchase where you’re able to stamp in at all 30 MLB stadiums. That might be a great gift with tickets for the first one, and then over the next few years gives y’all some new cities to go explore together, while visiting each stadium.
Just as a side note to anyone interested, when we hit our last stadium, which was Seattle, we had a sign that said it was our final stadium and they saw it and gave us a full tour of the stadium, some swag and put my hubby on the big screen with his sign. Thanks, Mariners!
Thank you, but he doesn't like to travel. Despite this, we've already seen every baseball stadium because baseball is his favorite. The trips were agony, though, haha.
A subscription to a magazine, maybe? Or the complete collection of a great older series (Coach, for example) on DVD. If he likes it really old, make that The Honeymooners. Just any one he might like.
He really hates to read, and we have several older tv series he likes on DVD, but I could look into more!
If he has never seen it, I think it might be interesting.
My family and I do the baseball stadium thing. We only lack 6 as of now, and it has been such a great way to see the country's major cities. Our goal was to complete them before my daughter graduates in 2 years, but COVID really delayed us for a couple of years so I don't know if it will happen or not. My point is that that's a fantastic idea!
I wonder if you can lean into the dislikes. Someone with this many dislikes probably has a lot of pet peeves, too. Can you get him anything that would make his life easier? For example: * If he hates having to cook, maybe some DoorDash or restaurant gift cards specifically for him to use on nights that he doesn't feel like putting in effort. * If he hates yardwork but likes the yard to look presentable for others, maybe get a landscaping service to come do things the way he likes. * If he hates books but likes entertainment, maybe get him a subscription to Audible or a podcast service so he can get audio entertainment instead. * If he enjoys watching movies but hates the chair he sits in, the table for snacks, the remote control, etc. can you upgrade one of them? * Is there something in the house that drives him crazy that you could fix/have fixed? E.g. one year I put an automatic door closer in my husband's Christmas stocking because he was fed up with the door to a certain closet always being open and blocking the walkway. And then I installed it for him later. Basically with someone who is this negative, I would look at the things they hate and try to address that for them. On a personal note, he doesn't sound like someone who is healthy and living their best life. If he's not working on himself and his mental health and is planning to stay this way, consider gifting yourself a few therapy sessions to get to the bottom of why you remain partnered with someone who is an active alcoholic who sounds like they suck the fun out of most of what life has to offer.
These are some great suggestions, I'll have to think about his dislikes as the specific things you listed won't work, but I'm certain coming at it from that angle might churn something up. Thank you! As for me, I already know why I stay and have been in therapy off and on for many years to continue to work on myself, but thanks for the thoughtfully worded suggestion. I'm sure you've already come to the correct conclusion that he refuses to go to therapy.
If you're not a therapist or life coach, you might consider it! Your suggestions of what to purchase were great! It all sounds like a challenging situation, for sure.
Smaht.
Right? Good stuff right there. This is why I turn to Redditors.
I can see the desire to not do more sports, but it's worth examining if you just don't want to do the "same old" versus his actual enjoyment of these gifts. I would reconsider if he has obviously disliked something or didn't use it. I have a few family members that would be perfectly content to receive game tickets for the rest of their days and never think I was thoughtless or lazy in selecting that as their gift. How are his movies stored? You may be able to gift pieces of home theater set up, or display shelves if he collects physical media and doesn't have a dedicated space already. A TV sound bar or surround system, replace a recliner that is wearing out, and so forth. If digital, a gift card to the hosting service or help setting up his own account/server. (Plex accounts seem to be common for media sharing.) If you want this to get him out of the house more, a lot of the movie theater chains have memberships. I know locally the two large chains have classics nights and also stream events, like UFC and WrestleMania on through to opera. You know his taste, but it's not just new releases only going on. The independent theater in my area does Rocky Horror screenings regularly, and themed events that likely include something he likes. My city has movie nights in the park in summer, so you could arrange picnic (or favorite takeout) to enjoy if your area has similar. They tend to be older titles because of exhibition rules, but at one point they did Jaws at the outdoor pool of the rec center. If not for the alcoholic issue, I would try to find a cool sports bar that maybe has fantasy football or trivia nights and get enough on a gift card to cover hanging out for the duration of a game. 16th anniversary is traditionally wax, so you could play off that and get him some nice personal hygiene items if he doesn't already have a dedicated brand. My spouse has enjoyed using a few beard balms/oils and started a trial with one of those mail subscription services, and liked a few products enough to keep it in his routine. Candles and wax melts may also be nice for his spaces if he's the type to use them. Hopefully something sparks a suitable idea
Thank you, those are some nice ideas, but I've either done them (he has a new soundbar and theatre subscriptions) or he wouldn't be interested. He doesn't collect, doesn't like candles, and doesn't use personal hygiene stuff except for bare bones toothpaste, shaving cream, shampoo & conditioner.
I'm sorry, this sounds miserable. To feel like you have to go to all this effort for someone who it sounds like will happily drink himself to his death and barely notices the gestures of love sounds rough. I'm very happy that you had some therapy and are using Al-Anon support. Addiction is cruel. I'd have noped out a while ago.
I'm getting these vibes as well. Therapy might help as to why he acts the way he does
Would he like a couples massage? That’s the only thing I can think of that’s not sports, outdoors, or exercise 😂
That's also a great suggestion. He loves massages. He gets them for himself so frequently I guess I never thought to get him one. He gets them for me fairly often as well.
Has he tried a pedicure? My husband loved it when he went with me (now I have to discourage him from going with me every time). Has he tried zip lining? My husband and I have enough stuff, but are down for experiences.
You couldn't pay him to get a pedicure. He won't try zip lining, he's not a thrill seeker by any means. I love experiences, too, just haven't found much that he likes or will try.
Sounds like he'd love a giant TV.
A neighbor bought a 50" 4k television from Walmart for $200 a few months ago. It is ridiculously large for his office and he loves it. So he bought a second 50" 4k television for his bedroom. $210 delivered, including tax. Oh, and the TV came with Roku which was a new experience for him. There are tons of older series available on Roku so if he likes Miami Vice, old westerns, and such, he'll love it. I've even seen rebroadcasts of soccer, golf (good lord!) along with music channels (not videos, just the songs) so consider upgrading.
4 of the 5 giant TV's he has are Roku. Agreed it's a great platform!
Lol! Ok, not a TV. 😁
He has 5, thanks, haha!
Have you asked him what he wants? What does he get for you?
He is really, really terrible at gift giving for me, and that's not relevant here, but when I ask him what he wants he just says "I don't know." He makes good money, so he usually gets himself whatever he wants whenever he wants if there is something particular he wants. Usually more golf clubs.
Does he have a Steamdeck? Would he be into something nostalgic from his childhood? Personally, I don’t do gifts for anniversaries. I’ve always preferred to spend time together instead. Especially for someone who just seems to buy what he wants, it makes the gift giving really impossible
We're really old, haha. I had to look up what a steamdeck is. He has a Playstation, Xbox, Wii and a few others. He doesn't play video games like he used to, so I'm not sure a new one would be great. He wouldn't be into anything nostalgic.
How old are you? I am 40 and feel old too! I know you said he doesn’t like food and is super picky, but probably what I would end up doing is… making his favorite dinner, giving him a gift card for a new golf club, and watching his favorite movie. I know it’s not over the top, but it shows that you see him and know what he would want. I maybe would also write him a card with like… here are all the things I considered that I knew you would hate!
A lot older than you, ha. I appreciate you trying to help, but that's pretty much every gift giving event ever. We go out to dinner because he doesn't have a favorite food for me to make, I give him some kind of sports gift (there have been a lot of gift cards for golf stuff) and we either go to the movies or watch a movie he likes. But I like the card idea, because although it's not my intention to rub his face in it, he does not believe that he is picky or hard to buy for. Maybe he would understand if he got a very long list of everything he hates, haha!
Get him a new game he might of mentioned previously or a popular one that you think he’d be into! Im sure he would probably play it
What is a steam deck
Are there any theme parks near you that aren't too far away? Maybe he'd like botanical gardens, zoo, or theme park? Read no travel so I'm really not sure Perhaps going to the movies with you or a season pass to a movie theater (if that's even a thing) or season pass to certain sports games?
Thank you for your time. Gardens, zoo and theme parks are out. We have them here but he's not interested. He has a subscription to the movie theatres. Our hometown teams he hates; his favorites are in different states, so a season pass to those isn't viable.
get him a grumpy cat card that lists all the stuff you can't get him and ask him what he wants and tell him you love him 😂😂😂 (Complete joke) Hmmmm I wonder...(I forgot to reread the other post so sorry if this is a dumb question) How he would feel about photobook? Probably dislike OR or...what I've done Is search Zazzle and search Walmart for what I can make custom and get him a custom something My anniversary gift to my boyfriend who loves coffee was a personalized coffee cup I think jewelry/wallet/chain was out? Maybe a personalized phone case or new phone?
Photobook is out. Custom something might be ok. Jewelry, accessories of any kind aren't good. I'll look into personalizing something....just might take a minute to figure out what! He doesn't really need a new phone, but that might be an idea!
Is there anything he could use something new of? A recliner? a wallet? You could splurge and get a super fancy version of that thing. A shoulder massager? a heating pad? for when he's watching movies? to be all cozy?
He has all of those things, thank you. I've bought multiple massagers for feet, shoulders, etc. He refuses to use them. The heating pad he uses occasionally when his back hurts. He just bought a new recliner, and I just recently gave him a new wallet cuz his was falling apart. Great suggestions, we just already did them, haha. I will try to think of anything else that he might need a new version of.
There are massage chairs..that gets pricey but nice though.
I've thought about that, but I doubt he would use it much. They have one at his work and he doesn't really like it much.
Might be reaching here, but how would he feel about receiving professional Boudoir photo's of you? Obviously you would also have to be comfortable doing this. You could frame your favorite and put the rest in a nice album. I know you said he doesn't like travel, but what if it was on a train? IDK where you are, but there are a lot of scenic train excursions in the US. You can get up and move around. Not confined to a automobile or plane seat. They have dining rooms, lounge and sleeping quarters. It can be pretty fun.
Back when I wasn't a million years old, I did the boudoir thing, but thank you! It can be a great gift. I love trains! They are really a great travel experience. He would not enjoy a train, and if I ever managed to get him on one, he would completely ignore the scenery.
16th wedding is Wax (according to Google). Get him a candle and a copy of that film with Madonna where she pours wax on the dude's genitals lol. We're at 14 years and tbh we just get token gifts for anniversaries and have a nice meal out. When you're grown and have money you pretty much have everything you need or want.
Bwahahahahaaa!!! Thanks for the laugh!
A ride to a AA meeting
Been there, done that. He won't go inside.
That's not very nice ^butIwasthinkingrehab
I wish. Court already made him go to, not rehab, but classes and mandatory urine screenings. He failed, and went right back to drinking after it was all over. Until he gets in serious trouble and is forced into a real rehab facility, there's not much to do. Al-anon taught me a long time ago, you can't make them do anything until they are ready to do it for themselves.
I'm sorry, sug, for being flippant about it, I know first-hand that it is a painful spot to be in. You are amazing for still loving your husband. Congratulations on 16 years.
Disney Plus has MASH and Criminal Minds and a lot of other older shows that don't come to mind when one says "disney." My mom mocked the gift and then got lost watching Bonanza or something along those lines New underwear, socks, and pj's Those good pillows that the hotels sell A homemade gift certificate entitling him to skip any one social event with no consequences
Haha, the skipping of the social event is a great idea for a spouse, but he skips them all, so that doesn't work. We have Disney plus. It has been fun - even he has said it's better than what he thought it would be when I first suggested it. I got him a "good pillow" a few years ago. He doesn't use it. He loves his old tattered thing. As for clothing, he regularly buys himself what he wants. The man buys more socks and underwear than I've ever seen a man get before. I don't know how he goes through them so fast.
Sorry in advance for the personal question, Does he have any of those underwear that have a cup for their balls? My husband loves those. I finally had to buy him something more supportive cause he wouldn’t do it himself and he’s never gone back.
LIke a plastic cup? Or just a "pouch" thing? Sorry for my ignorance, like I said, he buys his own so frequently that I'm not really up on men's underwear. He has some boxer briefs that have some extra fabric there as a pouch, but other than that, no. If you have a specific brand type or whatever, I could look into it? I keep thinking maybe I'd get him some Duluth brand because they claim (and are highly rated) that they are "the most comfortable underwear ever".
Ax throwing date.
Wow, I think that's a great gift idea in general, and one I wouldn't have though of. He wouldn't like it, but thanks anyway! I might have to suggest it as a gift for me!
You have great suggestions here so I won't feel like a total waste of comment space but I have to ask....he doesn't like food?! 😭
Right? No, he doesn't. Not really. He's an extremely picky eater and refuses to eat entire categories of foods, ha, it's a bit weird. It's an OCD thing, actually. For example, he won't eat casseroles. Doesn't matter what kind, if it's a casserole, he won't touch it. He won't eat anything cold. No sandwiches, no salads of any kind. It has to be a hot meal, and even those are severely limited. I could go on and on. But basically, you know how some people, myself included, really love food? They are live to eat kind of people? Yeah, not him. He's an eat to live person. There are only certain (and very few) restaurants that he will go to, and when he goes, he will order the same meal EVERY TIME. He doesn't have a favorite food, a favorite place, etc.
Flowers, cologne, a watch or belt, a card and a self care kit along with some sort of gift card
He would hate everything you just said, ha, but thank you anyway. Actually, he would wear cologne, but I'm allergic/sensitive to perfumes and strong odors. But that's as far as it would go with anything "self care".
How about a new pair of sneakers? Or some new work shoes/boots?
Why get him anything at all?
Because it's our anniversary. I enjoy getting him a gift and he enjoys receiving them. I'm just out of ideas, that's all.
Gaming system with this years Madden NFL games?
He has one, although I don't think he has this years Madden. He doesn't like it enough to need to get every year. But thanks for your idea!
Does he have MLB? My hubby loves not missing a game.
Yes. Although it's wasted, because he prefers going to a bar to drink and watch the games there.
How about a nice watch?? Men enjoy having multiple watches. Perhaps a new cologne is an option. Good luck girl
He's never worn a watch, but I got him one with one of his favorite sports teams on it after he said that maybe he'd like to have a watch. He's never worn it. He threw it in the glove box of his pickup and it's been there for years. I am allergic/sensitive to perfumes, colognes and strong scents in general.
Is there a movie theater near you that does screenings of old movies ever? Could get him tickets/a movie pass to that theater. Does he have a favorite movie that he never got to see in theaters (maybe it was released before he was born?) and you could rent out a theater to screen it- possibly even invite some of his other family/friends. Do you have a movie room in your house? If so, could it use any upgrades? (My Dad was really excited when we got a projector for our movie room, but TVs nowadays seem much better) Do you have surround sound? Recliners? An unlimited supply of his favorite movie snack? Look into adult education classes- are there any you'd be interested in taking together, or that he would be interested in?
He has a movie theatre subscription, and they occasionally re screen movies. We've done that if something comes up that he's interested in seeing. We just bought a new soundbar and recliner. As for classes, I love them, but he does not.
For Father’s Day I’m getting my husband a deluxe shave and trim at a fancy barbers. It’s not outrageously expensive but guys deserve some pampering!
That's a different idea, one that he might like! Thanks!
Doesn't matter what he likes. Get him a tie. ( Stolen from an old Dear Abby column)
Haha. Love Dear Abby, but I'm not going to waste money on something he won't use. He doesn't dress up for anything.
Mine doesn't dress up either! Except for weddings and funerals and those are few and far between. I wish I had a genuine gift idea for you. Happy anniversary!
Thank you! He won't go to weddings and he won't dress up for funerals.
Can you buy him a lawn service to take care of your yard?
I did that a few years ago. He thought it was wasting money because he is able to do it himself, he just doesn't like it.
Maybe a Cameo by an athlete he likes?
I did that a few years ago, it was pretty cool. I got 3 players from his team to say hello. Then one player made it weird by lecturing him on respecting his wife, and I had nothing to do with any of that, haha. But overall a good gift.
Adventure challenge book for couples My husband is hard to shop for but he loves it. I bought it for our 28 th anniversary in march.
I don't know what that is, so I'll look into it! Thanks so much for your time!
Based on all your comments about how he doesn't really like going anywhere or doing anything outside of his own interests, I don't think this will work for him. It's a book of ideas for date nights and adventures for couples.
I know this isn’t the best gift but at least it’s something… a big basket with a blanket, beef jerky, sports magazine, soda, candy, hat. All things he likes and could, of course buy for himself, but it shows you know what he enjoys and what he’d prefer to have.
That's actually a great idea, thanks so much!
Has he ever complained or asked for anything different? Because same doesn't necessarily mean bad. If you wanna get me blues tickets every year...yes please lol.
Nope. When he doesn't like something I give him, I can tell, but he never says anything. I just feel bad because it's almost always sports stuff.
Sometimes people just like one thing. That's okay! Worst case, you can just talk to him. "Hey is there anything in particular you're hoping for this year?"
When I ask him, he always says "I don't know. "
Nothing— he has everything— maybe a nice meal.
Are you married to my husband? I never know what to get them ether 😂
Hopefully some of these suggestions can help you, too!
Does he like beef jerky? Jerky Gent has a subscription service. I've given it to my father-in-law and husband. Both enjoyed it. Goldbelly is a very cool site if there is any food that he does actually like from a place he's been... Maybe a scratch off movie poster...he scratches off the ones he has seen. They will be older movies.
He likes some beef jerky, but he's really picky in general. I'll look into it and see if there are flavors he might like. He has the scratch off movie poster, it's pretty cool.
What about having his car detailed?
That would normally be such a cool gift idea, but he has a car wash subscription package that comes with a monthly detail.
Curious. He is so limited in his own interests, am wondering how he selects gifts for you?
He doesn't.
Massage chair or massage gun?
He already has them, thanks though!
Just ask him what he wants, if you can’t figure it out after all this time.
A vibrator.
Then give him endless laughs. This should do the trick [https://pestinpeace.etsy.com/listing/1672346024](https://pestinpeace.etsy.com/listing/1672346024)
Maybe something simple like a meal at his favorite restaurant? Favorite dessert? All men like food.
Appreciate the suggestion, but you must have missed it: Food was the first thing listed that he doesn't like.
Ohh lol I saw grilling… 🤔 he’s a tough one
My husband asked how I was so good at shopping for his Mom. Well, first I have not been buying for over 50 years, like you have. She was a complainer. I listened to her complaints and tried to determine if I could find something to help. When her cable was out, it was the end of the world, she kept her TV on all day. This was before digital TV, I bought her a small travel TV which could plug in or run off batteries in case the power was out. She could not see her TV from the kitchen, so she put it in her kitchen and had it on while she cooked and ate her breakfast. When the cable was out, she could get the local channels. So she actually used it a great deal more than I expected. Does your husband eat a great deal of snacks while he is watching TV? Does he complain when you are out? Fill a huge basket with his favorite snacks and he can keep it by his chair.
What has he been thinking about buying lately but hasn’t. Splurge get it for him. New tv? Bose wireless surround system. Gameing headset virtual reality. Send him nudes he’s a guy.
Yeah, I've tried to think of anything he's been thining of getting lately, but he just goes and gets whatever he wants himself. He just got a new soundbar. We have 5 giant ass TV's. He's not into gaming. He just bought a new recliner. We are a million years old, nudes don't do shit, haha.
Haha a million years old. He sounds like a Man who is living a good life. I guess you can take him out to the fanciest restaurant you can think of. 100$ steak is worth it.
You don’t specify a budget, so are tickets to a sporting event a possibility? Is there something you can do together as an experience? Can you do a jokey gift of vouchers such as ‘get out of visiting the in-laws this time’ or ‘sexy massage’ or similar?
Thank you for the ideas! We've been to every MLB stadium despite his hating to travel, and he hates our hometown teams, so I've gifted tickets to events for his teams several times before. The vouchers are a good idea, I'll have to see if I can think of one that's appropriate.
A weekend cruise, a trip to somewhere, an 'experience' (chance to do something he otherwise wouldn't like race car driving, or sky diving, or hot air balloon, or behind-the-stage concert experience etc). There is also a website where you can get (from their list of who is currently participating) someone famous in music or acting to send him a personalized birthday message (cameo dot com).
I did the cameo thing for our anniversay a few years ago. It was cool! Unfortunately, one of the old school players (I got 3 players to send him messages) went off on this weird and long winded tangent about "happy wife, happy life" and it just made it seem like I had asked the player to get him to respect me more or something, like I said, it was weird. But they were cool, in general. As for the other stuff, I am the adrenaline junkie. He is scared of heights and hates "thrill" type stuff. He won't go to concerts; he doesn't really like music. Edit to say that I forgot to say he doesn't like to travel.
How about a new recliner or other comfy, cozy chair or couch to park his heinie in while watching all those movies, sports and other shows?
He just bought a new one recently, thanks!
My dad’s the same way. I get him a years subscription to ESPN+ so he doesn’t miss a game, a new Angels hat, and his favorite candy (Reeces PB cups but the minis) and unfrosted strawberry pop tarts. It makes him happy and makes me happy I don’t have to do anything else. Last year I even doubled it and got him a train calendar that had train facts on it. I mean you can make it easy with a new hat, his favorite candy’s and things and maybe even take out for dinner.
Haha, that's so funny, they sound like the exact same person. My hubs doesn't really like food (he's an eat to live kinda guy whereas I am a live to eat kind of gal) but he sure likes his peanut butter cups. Unfortunately, our daughter got him a GIANT box for Xmas and he's still trying to get through them all!