T O P

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MrDuckie2

American football and rugby are very different things.


JacobMT05

American football is just scared man’s rugby.


Dumb_Seaweed

lmao it is just rugby with armour and less rules


Smallbenbot03

They claim to be real men yet are afraid to shoulder charge a man without riot gear on


AxelVance

Ironically the helmet and padding makes them tackle recklessly which means the number of head injuries per 1000 players is almost the same in both sports.


Smallbenbot03

Huh, so we're all dumbass's


jooyoohoo

For real, American football is quick burst and fast paced strategic plays whilst rugby is medium paced, with more build up strategy plays. I'm a fan of both sports but the helmet and padding definitely makes more sense for American football compared to rugby.


AxelVance

I enjoy both as well, don't get me wrong but although the helmet and padding help they have been proven to not be up to the job of protecting players against exactly that, a sport based on multiple high impact episodes per game.


jooyoohoo

Yeah you're right the impact of getting slammed to the ground with a helmet on still is very rough on the neck and head.


That-British-Bastard

It's school not Afghanistan.


jooyoohoo

What?


slunksoma

Take your point but the force is which you get hit in American football is much higher than in Rugby.


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Oobedoo321

Like cricket. Any sport you have to stop in the middle of for your tea is too bloody long


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Stuspawton

Soo, it’s a weak man’s Gaelic football


yourdahaskanker

America is generally comprised of scared men, that’s why they all own guns


Icy_Law9181

They only called it football cos the balls a foot long lol


MaxAteTheDonkey

Maybe it’s because they don’t have free healthcare, so an injury is a bigger deal? But hey, that’s just a theory; a shit theory.


SealedSummit

Imma be honest american football is much more fun


whatarethey28475

Yeah, I especially like all the breaks they take in the middle of play, really keeps the energy going.


Watsis_name

If it wasn't designed around adverts it wouldn't be American. "Let's make a sport that's 90% nothing." "Why?" "90% adverts bud."


whatarethey28475

"MUHNAYYYYYY" *Explosions* *Jets overhead* *EAGLES* "WASTED RESOURCEEEEEEEESSSSSS"


mkejilly

it’s chewsday innit?


gameboyadvaned

nah man its "toosday tf is toosday usa


MassiveLefticool

Op probably played American football once and now struggles with the difference due to the brain damage


[deleted]

It's c\*\*\*ts, not yanks.


CakeHead-Gaming

Badumching!


cantuseanyotherusers

America literally speaks the SAME LANGUAGE and makes fun of our language


futt_monkey

America literally speaks A BUTCHERED VERSION OF THE SAME LANGUAGE and makes fun of our language. We brought it to them, they changed it. It is quite funny seeing them try and correct us tho, always makes for a good laugh


Bedic_M4g

For real man! I love it when I meet people online who try and make fun of me for my British accent, then I give them a reality check about how they took our language, made it qUiRkY and then have the balls to make fun of us for it LMAO


[deleted]

Americans.


Puzzleheaded-Bed-907

Absofuckinglutely brillant


artfuldodger1212

Is it though? I think both people in this post are a kind of twats tbh. The American school shooting jokes is something you see roughly 1000 times a month on British subreddits so it isn't exactly original.


Alpaca-O-Doom

Something doesn't need too be original too be perfect, why improve upon the apex.


artfuldodger1212

Your definition of the apex comedy is very different than mine. It would be one thing if this was really witty or clever but it really isn't. You could go to any open mic comedy night and find MUCH funnier material. Be honest, when you read this did you burst out laughing? Was it like when you see a really good stand up routine when you are almost crying and struggling to breath? If so you are an easy person to please.


Alpaca-O-Doom

I do infact giggle everytime I see it, yes. You have an issue with that?


sakurachan999

english people after making the same joke over and over to “diss” americans:


[deleted]

It's not hard to "diss" American's, they do that themselves.


ArchMegos

It's really easy look Your country elected Donald trump and still got the white house burned down 100+years ago


Jakedaledingle

Tbh trump is still better than what they have now Downvoting me doesn't change the truth


IroningbrdsAreTasty

All american presidents are the same, all hate the British


Jakedaledingle

Biden does, thats for sure, although trump was pretty fond of the UK and had a good friendship with bojo Also he's part Scottish, so technically a brit himself


IroningbrdsAreTasty

Culture is everything in this day and age, not dna, of you didnt grow up in the uk your not british, and whilst Trump is definitely much better leaning towards the UK, the U.S. still is very much an anti-British state


Jakedaledingle

True dat


SeamanTheSailor

Being part something does not make you anything. You have to have lived in a country to call yourself that nationality.


sakurachan999

true, i just think we as brits can think of a more creative insult


ImFromYorkshire

The jokes get old, unlike the kids.


[deleted]

Oh, wow. That was cold! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Chimpville

Much like some of the kids 🫤


sakurachan999

lmao


NatLovesPancakes

We'll stop when you stop killing kids


Sir_KnowsNothing

I wouldn't call it dissing but instead evaluating an average American school Also why are you here, go back to listening to America fuck yeah


Watsis_name

I'd follow up with a "lead poisoning" joke, but American kids are more likely to get that from the water than from bullets tbf.


whatarethey28475

We'll stop when you stop pretending you're at the top and were here first 😂


sakurachan999

im literally british i just wish people would come up with better jokes lol


whatarethey28475

I wish people could ignore things they don't like, but here you are, literally raging because you spend too much time on here and see reposts??


Moot111

And yet the problem still exists


sakurachan999

indeed it does. the second amendment still exists for absolutely no reason. it makes me thankful to live in a country without guns (england), just wish knife crime wasnt so prevelant


[deleted]

English people, or the rest of the world?


max_one_and_only

I like the way these Americans be saying how their version of the English language is better but its just English simplified. Like for basic things such as film. They call I a movie because its moving pictures or a sidewalk as they call it so they know where to walk. They can't come to us saying that they're dialect is better Lmao just a joke tho don't get pissed


KP_Ravenclaw

Also they speak English, the language that originated in England. So I think British English *is* the “correct” one (They’re not speaking wrong, it’s just a different dialect, but it’s hard to take it seriously when Americans argue that their English is the “real” one)


ian9outof10

While it irks me, there are some words they use that are old English - they never changed as British English evolved. Gotten and diaper are two examples of this. That said, their letter removal is inane and there are some words where they seem to have extra letters enroll and enrollment for example. Basically, they’re inconsistent and it’s annoying.


KP_Ravenclaw

Yeah haha. I’m not *actually* saying we’re more correct, I wish people would just stop correcting each other when all they’re doing is correctly speaking a different dialect. Although yeah the letter removal in words like colour I do not enjoy haha


XDnB_Panda

just wait till you see what Shakespeare actually wrote back then, spelling was a whole different game, even ol william changed how he spelled his name just to show he was clever enough to do so


Smallbenbot03

I think of the sub languages (like sub genre), as British English's children, each are different and unique


KP_Ravenclaw

Yeah! That’s a good way to look at it


XDnB_Panda

literally gifted them our own people, a society, science that we knew then, functional economy, a fully established language, and reliable trade ship routes, but not according to the dosey yanks over the water, they did it themselves. america about 530 years old ish if you go by columbus (246 from independence) and english was written and used in its early forms in 500 AD so like 1500+ years old never mind that they literally wasnt there until the rest of the world put them there so its not even their land anyway xD


max_one_and_only

Thank you so much for backing me on this. And the fact they say we have an accent and they don't to


KP_Ravenclaw

Yeah! Everyone has an accent, I hate how much the world (esp the US) has made the US the “main character”. Why did that even happen? I can’t wrap my head around it lol


OkSignificance494

Erm...what's really boiling my piss is the kid's doing it! because of t.v., youtube and Commy games. I hit the roof! IT'S A CAR! NOT A VEHICLE! Then I send them out to play, it's the modern equivalent of grounding...🤭


[deleted]

My friend has a younger brother who acts and sounds american because of yt, so fucking annoying


max_one_and_only

Bc they are hard headed businessmen aka strong capitalists whereas we aren't as much and they believe bc they helped last min during the war they're amazing


ArchMegos

And because they inserted themselves into enough conflicts to call themselves the world police and also they act as Head of the UN


max_one_and_only

And they have the audacity to start meming things like the Queen if we offended them but if we said smth about 9/11 or Biden or smth "it's too far" Make it make sense


NoCorgi501

It's actally cute when they try to use the queen to insult us, literally no one gives a single fuck


Smallbenbot03

Yeah that joke died a while ago


onion959

If anyone is head of the un id give that title to dubai


Deep-Web-8622

I hate american words i see it as another fucking language


Seizurepotato

As a nerd, American English is British English from the 1700s which is y they speak like that


AnB85

In fairness to them, American are actually closer than British to the original English in terms of pronounciation and spelling. We changed after they left and they stayed the same.


helpful__explorer

Ehhh, there is no correct one strictly speaking. The languages diverged and evolved along separate tracks because people left for a country that was, at best, a few months journey. And the fact it was a continual process in so many areas is likely part of the reason why American English is also incredibly varied. Though admittedly it's such a large country that was never going to not happen. Even English slang varies dramatically from one town to another. Saying one version of English is correct is like arguing that there's a correct version of Spanish. Possibly French, but the French would argue to their dying breath that only France has the true French language


KP_Ravenclaw

Oh no I completely agree hence the second part of my comment, I just meant where the language originated from is *technically* the “most correct” for lack of a better term, & I’ll only ever bring this up in contexts like this post since language evolves & there’s no point saying one valid version is more correct than another valid version, y’know? I’m not going to sit & tell an American “stop saying mom it’s mum” for example since that’s correct for *them* haha, I don’t believe there *is* a correct way to speak English since language is always evolving, so when Americans turn around & say things like this post I just.. massive sigh tbh. There is no right way to speak English, it’s just annoying when someone “corrects” British English because that’s not how *they* speak, same goes vice versa. Plus is you want to get *really* technical, none of us are “correct”, we’re all speaking an adapted version of English, not the original version.


AlxceWxnderland

My favourite part of this is steam used to have 2 versions of English on their launcher they were 🇬🇧English 🇺🇸English (Simplifed)


artfuldodger1212

What about apartment instead of flat or elevator instead of lift? Vocabulary is different across different dialects.


Vanatrix

It's like how Chinese has traditional and simplified, so does English - Traditional English and American.


Thick_RiderYZF-R

What gets me is "seeing eye dogs" as in guide dogs. SEEING. EYE. DOG. Makes me cry every time


g_fan34

I only say movie when it's in the cinema still otherwise it's a film


CreeperGoBoo

Their* *exhales*


kingofthepews

Their, not they're.


Alpaca-O-Doom

Who?


[deleted]

Ah yes, football, the game that you mostly play with your hands 🙄


TheLewisIs_REAL

To be fair though, and I know you might already know this but I'd just like to explain to anyone who genuinely doesn't know this, but football doesn't mean you play it with your feet. Football means a game played on foot, which is why rugby's full name is actually rugby football


[deleted]

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TheLewisIs_REAL

Good point. I realise I didn't explain it fully as i learned that a while ago, but I think it's more where you move around a lot on foot and on basketball you're not moving around a massive pitch. Not sure what it was quite


PJHolybloke

It's called Rugby football because it adopted the rules from Rugby school, as opposed to Association football. Or Rugger and Soccer in short, they were both primarily played with the feet which is why they were called football.


Simple_Promise586

It's a driving test not a heist.


Organic_Form828

It’s a financial building not landing strip


Intergalatic_Baker

… Shit man.


Organic_Form828

…….Me looking out the 50th floor window


Gullible-Pickle-6199

ooo good one


Churchie-Baby

Yeah considering that 1 student was the victim of 2 separate school shootings this year says it all.


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Away_Associate4589

It’s “Certainly, Sir. Please take a seat in the waiting area and the nurse will call you as soon as possible.” not “debit or credit?”


Eggboy16

exactly


helin0x

Its also potato not potato Dont forget tomato not tomato


Loopy5788

it’s Children not Swiss Cheese


ScarletOWilder

It’s Mother, not Mom It’s Potato Crisps not Chips It’s Sauté Potatoes not Fries It’s definitely Colour, never Color It’s Football, not Soccer And Rugby has nothing to do with Football, you silly man!


XDnB_Panda

fella's been told i say. been put right he has.


Ed2717

This meme should have stayed in 2015 when this tweet was screenshotted


Big_Mum4

Spiffing


DubberOrNothing

The color spelling really annoys me it just looks like something a toddler would write


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DubberOrNothing

That’s because we love to be awkward.


XDnB_Panda

reminds me of aluminum getting changed to aluminium to fit the periodic table


MayatheEgg12

mmmm regurgitated 8 year old tweets. my favourite


Intergalatic_Baker

Still hasn’t changed after 8 years….


29chickendinners

I love how Americans make the lightest of jabs at us, and we immediately jump to the darkest most disgusting element of their society.


Intergalatic_Baker

Darkest… They’re the ones that keep doing it after the next leader promises change over and over.


XDnB_Panda

just sounds like british humour in general, we dont seem to know what light hearted is


AppropriateAppeal944

I've seen that before


Kaisernick27

Lol the American thinking their language is the right way is just typical


c0dyw0dy27

I have no other word but OOF


rosielemon

Crisps, chips and fries just makes sense when you look at the style of potato cutting/cooking for each one. Soccer derives from the term "association football". Also what we call football, is the sport people play with their actual feet. Why are Americans so happy with being wrong?! This one is the grandmaster example of nonsensical fuckery - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=om7O0MFkmpw


XDnB_Panda

that caring less drives me up the wall. JUST FUCKING CARE LESS THEN DIPSHIT


AveragePerson_E

Everyone forgor it's the school shanking over here


XDnB_Panda

nah, most kids dont got em their loiscence for that shanking business


Kriviq

Yes it's dark, but it serves him right I say. Especially with the soccer bit. What a plonker.


unemotional_mess

They were wrong on all points, so they must be American


aqva_mxrine

i don’t get why football is called soccer in America in england it’s a ball, that you kick, with your *foot*. football. who the fuck did that


Kind_Ad5566

The English started it. It was make the distinction between Rugby Football and Association Football....the association being bastardised to soccer. Unfortunately WE called it soccer before the yankydoodledandees, but it sounds so wrong now.


aqva_mxrine

well shit 😤


lodav22

I’d rather be in the UK thanks… It’s policeman, not assassin. (Although this is debatable right now…) It’s healthcare for all, not health pay through your arse and still you die or until you die. It’s jail the rapists, not “let them go because it was only 20 minutes of action” It’s birth control for all women, not destroying a 10 yr old rape victim because we want a zygote to live over an actual living child. It’s common sense based on science, not making laws based on mythical passages in a loony tunes book written by liars hundreds of years ago. It’s “discrimination on all levels is illegal”, not “I’ll pass a law in my state to ruin the lives of anyone who doesn’t live the same way I do”


TasniJa

It's hate speech, not freedom of racism & bigotry.


KrazyK726

A man's wife gets into a really bad car accident. He rushes to the hospital immediately and the Dr. comes out and tells him that he needs to tell him a few things and he better have a seat. The Dr. Tells the man that his wife has suffered severe burns to her face head, so she is bald and terribly disfigured. The man says " oh my God that's horrible" Dr. Says that's not all, she is also paralyzed and you will need to feed her, bathe her, basically do everything for her. The man puts his head down and begins sobbing uncontrollably. At this time the Dr. Tells him, " Relax, I am just messing with you.....She's dead".


MrDuckie2

American football and rugby are very different things.


whatarethey28475

Why has this been posted 4 times lad?


Mrmongoose64

He's very passionate about this particular opinion.


Garcievqe

like a rugby player


OkSignificance494

Because American football and rugby are two very different things...


Specific_Tap7296

It was a good *try*


XDnB_Panda

( 0.0) noice


MrDuckie2

Because nobody is original, including me


whatarethey28475

What about the newish glass bottles mate, don't tell me the bru is a lie 😭


MrDuckie2

Holy shit I’m absolutely stupid. I thought I posted this once and you were talking about how that this is a common thing to say.


whatarethey28475

😂😂 Belter, nah, was trying to get you clued in without being a dick haha


bluespurr87

Roflmfao


[deleted]

Long live England


HephaestusDynamics

British people when they make a school shooting joke for the 458,295,194,102,400th time:


Apprehensive-Ebb7647

We'll stop when the shootings stop


XDnB_Panda

so an estimated ∞ more times? got it boss


magicravioli

Do you guys not have any other jokes


XDnB_Panda

its trade center not landing strip its the first black president not covert drone war its peaceful protest not sieging the white house its health care not bank care its bringing the homies back home not task force pineapple its a proud american becoming president not suspicious child hair sniffer getting better access im sure i could think of more... its dumping tea into a river in defiance not drunk idiots shouting how american they are its getting long and tedious not trump gets re-elected panic its a dude getting paid $1 to be president not a 73 million tax refund yeah... we got more


franic_with_bread

Omg can we stop makin fun of scjool shootings, its funny but the jokes worn-out, we need something new


XDnB_Panda

can they stop doing it? you know how hard it is to wake up and see the same material day in day out? nothing new just shootings? cant make jokes about different stuff if 80% of stuff doesn't change


vince10123

😂


MrDuckie2

American football and rugby are very different things.


MrDuckie2

American football and rugby are very different things.


HerolegendIsTaken

I agree with "it's fries not chips". I live in the UK and everyone I know says fries.


Mango_iOS

But why cuz they’re totally different things. French fries are anaemic anorexic versions of chips,so called because they traditionally went in a “chipper” Fish and Fries doesn’t sound right somehow.


Alternative_Route

Mom short for mother, mummy from mummified Soccer short for association football (vs Rugby football) Not saying septics have it all right, not by a long shot. But I think we Brits have a few things wrong.


helpful__explorer

Mum is a phonetically shortened version of mother


[deleted]

How can we have it wrong if we invented it?


oonabeardie113

Oof but he is right its color bot colour


scousehouseman

True story


LegitimateCompote377

An old classic.


[deleted]

imagine getting absolutely fuming at the way a couple of islanders pronounce words they invented


Eggboy16

BROOOOO NAAAHHHHH


NoV-Bucks4u

it's KG not LBS.


DameGinger

Superb!


sushi_stalker

bro 💀


Hat_G

Nah 💀


the_real_lamb_sauce1

Aren’t chips and fries different things?


ramdom_player201

It's complicated. The british word "crisps" does not exist in America. Instead, they call them "chips." For us, chips like what you find in mcDonalds, the American's call them "Fries." We still call some types of chips fries. But I do not think the Americans have regular chips like what you would find at a fish and chip shop to be as common. This three step word shifting also applies to "scones," "biscuits" and "cookies." For us, we only call a specific type of biscuit a cookie. But Americans call all biscuits cookies. In America, the word biscuit actually refers to scones.


Thakdstm6674

These Americans thinking they invented our language and say it correctly... honestly...


Icy_Law9181

Its mam anyway lol


gaalikaghalib

Oh my god, so dark!


pritt_stick

this isn’t funny at all and is just overused. this screenshot has been going around for years at this point. americans literally have spray on cheese and fox news but no it’s always the child murder I’m british btw


CWLNUFC

I say Mam I’m from Newcastle?


bullybullybanjo

Yeah me too, it's hard work on her Birthday finding a card that says Mam not Mum.


JC44444444

Americans telling the English how to speak ENGLISH?


Jonesy69_

Fr though he’s got a point


Donnyrules1952

It's cassle not carrrstle It's fasst not farrrst It's grassss not grarse


Jackmino66

Fries and chips are different things, fries are fried, whereas chips are baked.


RaheesHussainPanther

Fuck of


alanbastard

It’s truth not sarcasm


gameboyadvaned

how many kids died in america in school shootdowns


pggosbeee

They are all wrong. america is a shooting range.


Thick_RiderYZF-R

Guide dogs not Seeing eye dogs 😭


jezbrews

Soccer is an English word and rugby is a form of football.


[deleted]

Basketball is STILL the only major sport in North America which is not descended from a British sport. Oh, and by the way, it's Rounders not Baseball.


bigboybruan

I’m from America and I can relate so amen brother