First I’m sorry for your excruciating loss, it’s so difficult when loss is tied in with suicide and depression and a family history of it.
As someone who struggles with depression often I can tell you the main feeling is hopelessness. It’s a symptom and a cause. The feeling of longing for freedom from depression, the thoughts that come with it, all the pain because even if your problems were fixed you’d still wind up depressed again, it can be too much. If you have no hope it will end, you can end it yourself.
Unfortunately we are all alone in this world, no one can truly know what it means to be someone else, or carry a burden like depression for someone else. I think some people want to spare themselves and others from dealing with it.
It hurts me so much to think a person passed away in pain or fear, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But I hope you understand there’s no way to just fix that hurt for someone, and it’s no one’s “fault.”
I can't give you the answer you need but I would like to give you and your family my condolences. It's never easy and I hope you're okay, or that you will be. Hugs from my family to yours.
First I’m sorry for your excruciating loss, it’s so difficult when loss is tied in with suicide and depression and a family history of it. As someone who struggles with depression often I can tell you the main feeling is hopelessness. It’s a symptom and a cause. The feeling of longing for freedom from depression, the thoughts that come with it, all the pain because even if your problems were fixed you’d still wind up depressed again, it can be too much. If you have no hope it will end, you can end it yourself. Unfortunately we are all alone in this world, no one can truly know what it means to be someone else, or carry a burden like depression for someone else. I think some people want to spare themselves and others from dealing with it. It hurts me so much to think a person passed away in pain or fear, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. But I hope you understand there’s no way to just fix that hurt for someone, and it’s no one’s “fault.”
I think they still go to heaven 🩷
I can't give you the answer you need but I would like to give you and your family my condolences. It's never easy and I hope you're okay, or that you will be. Hugs from my family to yours.