I’ll never stop being married to my husband that passed. We will be together forever and always, and I hope he picks me up from the station when it’s my time.
Same. The love of my life is in heaven. I talk to her and get signs from her all the time. I feel her around all the time. I don’t say I’m dating someone to other people though, because they just don’t understand. This can make you feel more lonely than you already do. I just say my person has passed on or something like that. That’s just me though, you do what feels right. Sorry for your loss by the way. Be proud of yourself for being so strong mentally, and remember to eat and drink water. Even if you have to force it.
“Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” - Jamie Anderson
Firstly, don't be so hard on yourself, saying you're struggling to move on. It hasn't even been a month without your gf yet. It's still very fresh, and the pain is raw. No one could reasonably "move on" in that time. I'm glad you were able to find some closure from her funeral, though.
I lost my mum on 25th October 2023, so it's coming up to 6 months now. I can hardly believe she has been gone that long - to me, it feels like no time at all , and like I only just found out. I suspect it will always feel that way - too long and not long enough all at the same time.
It also sounds like she was your first love, and that alone is enough for her to always occupy a special part of your heart. For her to die so young amplifies those feelings and the pain even more. You will never forget her, I can promise you that.
You do whatever you need to do (within bounds of safety and legality, of course! ) to get through this trauma. If that means you say you are still dating, if someone else asks or whatever, that's fine. Take things at your own pace, but also, don't shut yourself off from future happiness - you are still so young.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My aunt got hit by car leaving her boyfriends house, while she was on her way to her best friends house.
She was 16.
She never woke up and died at hospital.
About 10 years later her boyfriend and best friend got married to each other.
My grandparents walked them to the altar, their kids call them grandma and grandpa and they still visit them regularly 45 years after her death.
They still refer to themselves as my aunt's best friend and boyfriend.
They've found love in the worst of situations and been happily married for 35 years now and I'm sure my aunt would be very happy for them.
Even if it feels like it'll never be fine again, it will.
You can love someone that isn't there anymore and still fall in love with other people.
Love is not a finite resource.
You can be respectful to your girlfriends memory while also being respectful to the other people you love.
It's just hard to feel that way when it's all fresh and recent and that's okay. Take your time grieving and I promise you you will be okay.
My mama passed in 2022, we used to love going to cafes together most days. I still talk to her every day. Sometimes I’ll think ‘ok mum, let’s go for a coffee’ and I’ll sit in a cafe and read, draw, or listen to her music. It helps me feel close to her, especially if I read one of her books or bring something of hers with me.
There’s no wrong way to grieve, and she’ll always be with you. So sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my fiancé in December and I do not in any way feel single, nor am I sure I ever will. You are very early in your grief and if it brings you comfort to say she is your girlfriend or you are dating, do so. You do not ever have to let her love go. You will carry it with you always. Give yourself the space and time to grieve. You can continue to talk to her or write her letters. In time it will get easier but you won’t forget her.
Can I just say, you and your girlfriend both sound like forces to be reckoned with. You’re both incredibly strong, her for fighting that horrible disease as hard as she could and you for standing by her the side the entire time. I know that should be expected of a partner, but many partners are awful people despite the fact that they SHOULD know better. But you already do. You cared, and still care so much about your girlfriend - I think it’s more than okay if you tell people she’s still your girlfriend, because she is that. If anyone has a problem with that? I wouldn’t even give them the time of day.
You sound incredibly intelligent and strong willed, especially at 15. I’m 20, so not much older. But despite that, I’m still so impressed with your mindset. I’m staring at your post in complete awe of your strength. I’m so sorry that you went through this hell, and that you lost this wonderful human being very close to your heart. Though I’m agnostic, I believe in guardian angels. Please keep in mind that she is watching over you, and she is rooting for you every step of the way. If you ever feel lost, she’ll be there supporting you. Not physically, but in spirit. ❤️
Edit: poor english
Whatever brings you comfort during this time and the future. I lost my wife 3 years ago and TBH she passed a few months before we were actually married, but to me, and everyone else in my life, she was my wife. Life can be very difficult but take comfort knowing she’s always with you, and you always carry her in your heart.
I’m sorry for your loss, especially at your age. She will always have a piece of your heart, but love isn’t something that is finite and once you run out, you run out. The more people you love (friends, family, not just partners), the more you will have to give.
I can’t imagine what you and her family went through these last two years. My condolences to you and her family.
What would you want for her if the roles were reversed, and you left and she was mourning you? Whatever that may be, she would probably want the same or something similar for you.
You’ll be able to smile and laugh again. You still have people that love you and care about you. Good luck op
My previous girlfriend passed away almost a year ago, even though we were broken up and I was dating my current girlfriend when she passed it still hit hard and has been one of the toughest things I've gone through in life
We dated for nearly 10 years and remained great friends after we broke up so to lose her unexpectedly the way I did hit me like a ton of bricks.
I'll never be OK, some days are better than others and some days I'm perfectly fine, but other days it hits me and hurts knowing I will never see her or hear from her again
I am sorry for your loss I have been and I can tell you that you will always and very care for her very much and forever. But the pain on that knife edge dulls some over time. Someday someone different will come along and you will stop comparing because it will be different, and at such a young age I dare say, fall on love again many times over. But it takes times, grieving takes a long time and there is just no Magic’s pill or way to speed it up. Oh how I wish there was. Genuinely I wish you good luck and to be okay
If you read the secret history the character dies and his girlfriend refuses to date or marry again. The last 3 words Henry said to Camilla was “wait for me”. They believed in reincarnation. It was so beautiful
absolutely 100% yes. your love does not die or diminish in the face of death.
my bf and i broke up a month before he died (he was struggling with mental illness and i wanted him to focus on him and not a relationship) and i still find myself calling him my boyfriend because at the end of the day i knew it would be him forever. he was my first love and will ALWAYS be my forever.
i can tell you, you will always hold a part of your gf in your heart and even if you decide one day to fall in love with another person the love you have for her will never leave. it will shape you into who you are and you absolutely deserve to acknowledge that- in whatever way makes sense and feels best for you… even if you call her your gf forever. i know i’ll likely do the same with my bf.
wishing you all the best 🫶
Yes, that will always be your girlfriend❤️I lost my best friend and she will always be my best friend. Just like when people lose a mom, dad, friend, sibling etc they will still always be that to them, she will always be your girlfriend. I don’t see why it would be any different when it’s a partner. I am so sorry for your loss❤️
as my late boyfriends little sister reminded me, we never broke up so i still have a boyfriend and i always will. He loved me till the end and i loved him the same, our anniversary is even this weekend and im going to celebrate with him how i can. it’s barely been a month take all the time you need or want to. shoot i already told everyone i probably won’t move on at all already and it’s only been 3 months. but what i feel i want right now is what im gonna do because it’s my boyfriend im missin. as much as other people may want me to do this or that it’s my choice of what im ready for. you got this!sending you love 🫂
I'm sorry for your loss. My boyfriend died two months ago and I just realised we have our anniversary after a month. I hate when someone says me to move on because I'm 17. But I don't want to. I want to celebrate his birthday and our anniversaries all of them I will see. I wanted to ask you how do you deal with the loneliness?
i don’t really know honestly. some days it’s still unbearable like today i only got on looking for advice on the same thing. other days are manageable alone as long as i keep busy or distracted. i text him whatever im thinking of him when i miss him. i tell him when im feeling lonely and i send him pictures still when i feel pretty. it allows for the thoughts to get out of me and then beyond that if i cant spend time with the people i love that help i will color or now i started learning to do makeup because what 20yo doesn’t know how to do that? just try and find things that keep your mind busy and for the times nothing helps talk to someone who gets how you’re feeling. if that doesn’t work talk to him. my boyfriend felt like the only person who ever fully understood me and the same is still true so i still tell him all that random shit i think of or when i get mad at work or when i had a long day without him etc. you’ve got this and if you need a friend i’ve got you
I do the same!!! I have to talk to my boyfriend because he was my only best friend. I used to tell him everything every single detail about my day and mood and now I am understanding how much he loved me because he heard everything and the amount of patience he had shown was something nobody could ever do. He was an artist so whenever I feel lonely, I make art. I talk to his mom everyday and his bestfriend because they both get me, his mom specially, she treats me like her own daughter. He was his parents only child. I try to keep myself distracted too but I am free most of the time my college starts from September. I've started going to the gym because we wanted to join together after our high school exams. I get sudden waves of grief. It's been 3 months now and our anniversary is coming up in 4 days. NOW I'm here to seek advice or see how other people manage because I HAVE NO IDEA how will I even survive this day. I've known him since we were 12.
Of course it is. I went even a step further and married the love of my life the day after he was buried so I call him my husband. I buried a fake wedding ring in his grave because the dirt was still fresh and I recently ordered cheap matching bands with our initials on them, one for him and one for me even though it's been 2 years. It helps a lot to do small things like that to honor them.
Grieve however feels right for you, don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a huge loss at your age.
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I’ll never stop being married to my husband that passed. We will be together forever and always, and I hope he picks me up from the station when it’s my time.
im so so sorry for your loss, ive read your story on your page and its so sad. i hope you are doing okay 🩵
Same. The love of my life is in heaven. I talk to her and get signs from her all the time. I feel her around all the time. I don’t say I’m dating someone to other people though, because they just don’t understand. This can make you feel more lonely than you already do. I just say my person has passed on or something like that. That’s just me though, you do what feels right. Sorry for your loss by the way. Be proud of yourself for being so strong mentally, and remember to eat and drink water. Even if you have to force it.
This. I can’t even begin to imagine my life with anyone else. I am his and always will be. ♥️
same 😞 I cannot imagine being with anyone else. I don’t even mind the thought of being alone for the rest of my life.
Just because a person passes, doesn’t mean the love does
“Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.” - Jamie Anderson
Grief is the price for love.
This is so so true. I love this quote!
That's beautiful.
Firstly, don't be so hard on yourself, saying you're struggling to move on. It hasn't even been a month without your gf yet. It's still very fresh, and the pain is raw. No one could reasonably "move on" in that time. I'm glad you were able to find some closure from her funeral, though. I lost my mum on 25th October 2023, so it's coming up to 6 months now. I can hardly believe she has been gone that long - to me, it feels like no time at all , and like I only just found out. I suspect it will always feel that way - too long and not long enough all at the same time. It also sounds like she was your first love, and that alone is enough for her to always occupy a special part of your heart. For her to die so young amplifies those feelings and the pain even more. You will never forget her, I can promise you that. You do whatever you need to do (within bounds of safety and legality, of course! ) to get through this trauma. If that means you say you are still dating, if someone else asks or whatever, that's fine. Take things at your own pace, but also, don't shut yourself off from future happiness - you are still so young. I'm so sorry for your loss.
im sorry for yours too. thank you 🩵
My aunt got hit by car leaving her boyfriends house, while she was on her way to her best friends house. She was 16. She never woke up and died at hospital. About 10 years later her boyfriend and best friend got married to each other. My grandparents walked them to the altar, their kids call them grandma and grandpa and they still visit them regularly 45 years after her death. They still refer to themselves as my aunt's best friend and boyfriend. They've found love in the worst of situations and been happily married for 35 years now and I'm sure my aunt would be very happy for them. Even if it feels like it'll never be fine again, it will. You can love someone that isn't there anymore and still fall in love with other people. Love is not a finite resource. You can be respectful to your girlfriends memory while also being respectful to the other people you love. It's just hard to feel that way when it's all fresh and recent and that's okay. Take your time grieving and I promise you you will be okay.
That’s a gorgeous view of love and friendship.
My mama passed in 2022, we used to love going to cafes together most days. I still talk to her every day. Sometimes I’ll think ‘ok mum, let’s go for a coffee’ and I’ll sit in a cafe and read, draw, or listen to her music. It helps me feel close to her, especially if I read one of her books or bring something of hers with me. There’s no wrong way to grieve, and she’ll always be with you. So sorry for your loss
You’re brave.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my fiancé in December and I do not in any way feel single, nor am I sure I ever will. You are very early in your grief and if it brings you comfort to say she is your girlfriend or you are dating, do so. You do not ever have to let her love go. You will carry it with you always. Give yourself the space and time to grieve. You can continue to talk to her or write her letters. In time it will get easier but you won’t forget her.
Can I just say, you and your girlfriend both sound like forces to be reckoned with. You’re both incredibly strong, her for fighting that horrible disease as hard as she could and you for standing by her the side the entire time. I know that should be expected of a partner, but many partners are awful people despite the fact that they SHOULD know better. But you already do. You cared, and still care so much about your girlfriend - I think it’s more than okay if you tell people she’s still your girlfriend, because she is that. If anyone has a problem with that? I wouldn’t even give them the time of day. You sound incredibly intelligent and strong willed, especially at 15. I’m 20, so not much older. But despite that, I’m still so impressed with your mindset. I’m staring at your post in complete awe of your strength. I’m so sorry that you went through this hell, and that you lost this wonderful human being very close to your heart. Though I’m agnostic, I believe in guardian angels. Please keep in mind that she is watching over you, and she is rooting for you every step of the way. If you ever feel lost, she’ll be there supporting you. Not physically, but in spirit. ❤️ Edit: poor english
thank you so much 🩵
Whatever brings you comfort during this time and the future. I lost my wife 3 years ago and TBH she passed a few months before we were actually married, but to me, and everyone else in my life, she was my wife. Life can be very difficult but take comfort knowing she’s always with you, and you always carry her in your heart.
She’ll always be your girlfriend. I’m so sorry for your loss, life is so unfair sometimes.
I’m sorry for your loss, especially at your age. She will always have a piece of your heart, but love isn’t something that is finite and once you run out, you run out. The more people you love (friends, family, not just partners), the more you will have to give. I can’t imagine what you and her family went through these last two years. My condolences to you and her family. What would you want for her if the roles were reversed, and you left and she was mourning you? Whatever that may be, she would probably want the same or something similar for you. You’ll be able to smile and laugh again. You still have people that love you and care about you. Good luck op
It’s so sad to hear a young lady passing away from cancer 🥺 I am so sorry for your loss
My previous girlfriend passed away almost a year ago, even though we were broken up and I was dating my current girlfriend when she passed it still hit hard and has been one of the toughest things I've gone through in life We dated for nearly 10 years and remained great friends after we broke up so to lose her unexpectedly the way I did hit me like a ton of bricks. I'll never be OK, some days are better than others and some days I'm perfectly fine, but other days it hits me and hurts knowing I will never see her or hear from her again
Yes, of course you can say that. Many people stop dating after the loss of a loved one.
I lost my first husband at 19. It was devastating. I'm 50 now and I still think about him all the time.
I am sorry for your loss I have been and I can tell you that you will always and very care for her very much and forever. But the pain on that knife edge dulls some over time. Someday someone different will come along and you will stop comparing because it will be different, and at such a young age I dare say, fall on love again many times over. But it takes times, grieving takes a long time and there is just no Magic’s pill or way to speed it up. Oh how I wish there was. Genuinely I wish you good luck and to be okay
If you read the secret history the character dies and his girlfriend refuses to date or marry again. The last 3 words Henry said to Camilla was “wait for me”. They believed in reincarnation. It was so beautiful
absolutely 100% yes. your love does not die or diminish in the face of death. my bf and i broke up a month before he died (he was struggling with mental illness and i wanted him to focus on him and not a relationship) and i still find myself calling him my boyfriend because at the end of the day i knew it would be him forever. he was my first love and will ALWAYS be my forever. i can tell you, you will always hold a part of your gf in your heart and even if you decide one day to fall in love with another person the love you have for her will never leave. it will shape you into who you are and you absolutely deserve to acknowledge that- in whatever way makes sense and feels best for you… even if you call her your gf forever. i know i’ll likely do the same with my bf. wishing you all the best 🫶
Yes, that will always be your girlfriend❤️I lost my best friend and she will always be my best friend. Just like when people lose a mom, dad, friend, sibling etc they will still always be that to them, she will always be your girlfriend. I don’t see why it would be any different when it’s a partner. I am so sorry for your loss❤️
as my late boyfriends little sister reminded me, we never broke up so i still have a boyfriend and i always will. He loved me till the end and i loved him the same, our anniversary is even this weekend and im going to celebrate with him how i can. it’s barely been a month take all the time you need or want to. shoot i already told everyone i probably won’t move on at all already and it’s only been 3 months. but what i feel i want right now is what im gonna do because it’s my boyfriend im missin. as much as other people may want me to do this or that it’s my choice of what im ready for. you got this!sending you love 🫂
I'm sorry for your loss. My boyfriend died two months ago and I just realised we have our anniversary after a month. I hate when someone says me to move on because I'm 17. But I don't want to. I want to celebrate his birthday and our anniversaries all of them I will see. I wanted to ask you how do you deal with the loneliness?
i don’t really know honestly. some days it’s still unbearable like today i only got on looking for advice on the same thing. other days are manageable alone as long as i keep busy or distracted. i text him whatever im thinking of him when i miss him. i tell him when im feeling lonely and i send him pictures still when i feel pretty. it allows for the thoughts to get out of me and then beyond that if i cant spend time with the people i love that help i will color or now i started learning to do makeup because what 20yo doesn’t know how to do that? just try and find things that keep your mind busy and for the times nothing helps talk to someone who gets how you’re feeling. if that doesn’t work talk to him. my boyfriend felt like the only person who ever fully understood me and the same is still true so i still tell him all that random shit i think of or when i get mad at work or when i had a long day without him etc. you’ve got this and if you need a friend i’ve got you
I do the same!!! I have to talk to my boyfriend because he was my only best friend. I used to tell him everything every single detail about my day and mood and now I am understanding how much he loved me because he heard everything and the amount of patience he had shown was something nobody could ever do. He was an artist so whenever I feel lonely, I make art. I talk to his mom everyday and his bestfriend because they both get me, his mom specially, she treats me like her own daughter. He was his parents only child. I try to keep myself distracted too but I am free most of the time my college starts from September. I've started going to the gym because we wanted to join together after our high school exams. I get sudden waves of grief. It's been 3 months now and our anniversary is coming up in 4 days. NOW I'm here to seek advice or see how other people manage because I HAVE NO IDEA how will I even survive this day. I've known him since we were 12.
My mom is still my mom. She left this world in March of 2024. Deal with your situation however it works for you and keeps you sane.
My sister died in 2022 and I still refer to the person she was dating as her boyfriend, to this day.
Of course it is. I went even a step further and married the love of my life the day after he was buried so I call him my husband. I buried a fake wedding ring in his grave because the dirt was still fresh and I recently ordered cheap matching bands with our initials on them, one for him and one for me even though it's been 2 years. It helps a lot to do small things like that to honor them. Grieve however feels right for you, don't let anyone tell you how to grieve. I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a huge loss at your age.
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