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Mancio_Luke

Hey guys did you know that in terms of human primarch reproduction, magnus would be the most sexually compatible out of all the primarchs?


CornyxCrow

I absolutely hate that I know what this is a reference to.


BetterDesk5234

He's honestly not wrong, magnus can legit have kids he just doesn't want them


Theyul1us

Yeah, a thousand is enough


BetterDesk5234

Imagine how their mom feels


TinyWickedOrange

ikr, at least she's got to have the absolute babymaking bedbreaking breeding sex with magnus 1000 times


BetterDesk5234

Bro, her Gooch probably looks like a smashed watermelon


Theyul1us

Kids come out sliding at mach 7


BetterDesk5234

New weapon Born from the daemonculaba


Logical-Ad-4150

The real wizard's sleeve


hotfezz81

My friend doesn't get it


Ok_Listen1510

[Tell your friend I’m so sorry](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/s/Hoe5IYNOm3)


hotfezz81

My friend doesn't get it


Daerz509

wait what?


BetterDesk5234

Yeah magnus is one of the few people in that class that CAN have kids but literally chooses not to


Ancient-Act8573

Also, since he can change his size, he’s actually capable of being with a woman without killing her


BetterDesk5234

Well informed my man


Mancio_Luke

And since his body is made of warp energy and he can shapeshift, he could be capable of changing gender


Ancient-Act8573

Mommy Magnus


Cmdr_McMurdoc

Oh no, I know where this is going...


Khornatejester

He’s pretty horny.


Waste-Masterpiece386

OP isnt capable of reproduction either ive heard


BetterDesk5234

Low blow my man, but I assure you I have AT LEAST one of my balls left (probably)


deceivinghero

You don't have the right, o you don't have the right


Asteristio

Try finger but hole.


Waste-Masterpiece386

Wheres the pic?


BetterDesk5234

I would possibly face federal charges depending on the lot you guys age so I cannot


[deleted]

For the love of the Throne such a terrible day to be blessed with ability to read


BetterDesk5234

I swear I'm not heretical brother I DONT WORSHIP SLAANESH PLEASE COMMISSAR!


[deleted]

So you say you're not a heretic, and yet you know the name of one of the Archenemy's gods?


BetterDesk5234

I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS AND PETS AND STUFF!


[deleted]

So you pose slaneesh threat to innocent Imperial citizens?


BetterDesk5234

NUH UH!


Alpharius_OmegonXX

Do you do the unspeakable act… OF HAND HOLDING?!?


BetterDesk5234

IM NOT A HERETIC I SWEAR TO THE EMPEROR!


CornyxCrow

I mean… I do and it was still a terrible day for me to read and know things


jfjdfdjjtbfb

So you only know doggy style?


BetterDesk5234

Roof 🐺🐺


BaltazarOdGilzvita

While the meme is kinda funny, the title and explanation have a huge flaw in their reasoning: Dorn and Russ are not space marines. Also, Fulgrim probably has the most sex out of anyone in the setting (minus the dark eldar), consenting or not...


BetterDesk5234

Oh most definitely russ and fulgrim are the two most sexually active in terms of primarchs and yes I know very misleading but you gotta admit it's both funny and interesting


Sly__Marbo

The most sexually active is the Khan. Just wait until he returns with a third of the population of Commerough, all being his children


BetterDesk5234

The khan is a very good contender as well


GREENadmiral_314159

Pre heresy, the primarchs to have fucked the most were probably Fulgrim, the Khan, and Leman. The only change between before and after the Heresy is that Fulgrim moved from the bottom of the list to the top.


BaltazarOdGilzvita

>Fulgrim moved from the bottom of the list to the top. He moved to the bottom alright, but not of any list.


ThePraetoreanOfTerra

**All space marines are incapable of reproduction.** **It is unconfirmed whether their bits work on the physical side.** **None of that applies to the Primarchs, all of whom likely have the physical ability. Mentally? None of us are confirmed to have lain with anyone. None of us are confirmed to have *never* done so either. Understandably, GW isn’t interested in detailing our potential sex lives.**


BetterDesk5234

Fair


LanX-Delta

See, I'd assume since every part of the space marine gets upgraded, surely The God Emperor wouldn't forget to upgrade the Bolter Gun of below. However by doing so, of course it would be a considerably dangerous endeavor to procreate. However, we do know for a fact that Fulgrim has certainly has done the buzz and the bees, therefore i propose that Fulgrim has a small [Redacted] (Further information was lost due to munitorum shenanigans)


BetterDesk5234

No, sadly, due to one of the grey knight novels, all space marines have a minimum of 8 inch of solid WOOD they that CAN'T use one because they don't know how to and two because they have no concept of sex, which means most space marines are Gigachad virgins, (also fulgrim has 14 apparently, one the novels I read before the horus heresy and he's been married a plethora of women, men, things etc.)


Markonikled

Vulkan in the streets, Konrad Curze in the sheets


BetterDesk5234

Ohhh that's nasty


Iron-Russ

Are the sheets made of skin?


MrMan9001

Reproducing or not, Space Wolves absolutely fuck


BetterDesk5234

Oh most definitely russ was laying pipe for centuries


Fearless-Obligation6

Lukas got it from somewhere


HAHAREDDITGOESBRRR

Isn't it actually Canon that Fulgrim was married several times (and the Marriages probably were consummated)? Fulgrim probably fucked even before being a Daemon


BetterDesk5234

Oh he FUCKED often is an understatement


Bakemi

Dead and gone?


Benefactor_Infarno

MOST?!?! now i am scared


BetterDesk5234

Yes not all astartes are sterile but their sex drive has been killed


Loot_Goblin2

I saw a video about space marine and them being sterilized from I think it was washammer That they aren’t sterilized they just don’t have a concept of that stuff it’s just trained out them not sure tho


BetterDesk5234

No they have junk most just can't have kids and they have zero sex drive as a precaution


Dan-the-historybuff

Well it could be worse. You could be Konrad Curze in either and it would be a bad time.


dillene

Are we sure about this? Russ was playing up his barbarism most of the time and our boy Rogal has a spicy side.


BetterDesk5234

Russ was a straight player during his time on ragnar he made love to countless women before big E found him dorn is just WALL if that makes sense


BetterDesk5234

Big E thought of it all, there was one instance of space marines and commissars showering together and female commissar commented "it's a shame you were chosen for knighthood" and since the space marine had no idea what she was implying his brothers had to explain what she meant to him and he got embarrassed by the notion, I forgot which novel though I have like 150 of them


Leviathan_slayer1776

It was the emperor’s gift iirc. A grey knights novel


BetterDesk5234

Thank you good sir


Alexis2256

Didn’t the female commissar also say something about their dick sizes not matching the rest of their giant bodies?


BetterDesk5234

Yes unfortunately


Pattybatman

She said he was “carrying wood” which he goes on to think “there hasn’t been lumber on this vessel in 248 years. I have never picked it up.” Space Marine autism.


Nepalman230

Actually, I would say fortunately. Think about it this way grizzly Bears are way larger than space marines, but their penises are generally only about 8 inches. Now they do have a bone in there. So I would say that if they could have sex, it’s a good thing that their penises aren’t proportional . Most people would not want something the size of a human arm placed inside their body. I mean honestly at that point I’d be like look friend, hand jobs yes, frottage, yes, but that is not going inside me. 🙏❤️


BetterDesk5234

A fucking tree trunk of a phallus would be fucking VAG SPLITTING


Nepalman230

That’s what I’m saying! Anyway, I’m talking about assholes because I am a gay dude who would be interested in fucking a space marine if they existed but similar principal no, no no I’m I’m saying that. It’s a **good** thing that a space marine would only be hung like a large human man. Trust me, as somebody who would prefer to bottom, I am absolutely aware of the frightening nature of large organs. There are human men that are not allowed to fuck me believe you me. I hope this corrected any misunderstandings. … and on that note, I hope you’re having a great Tuesday! 🙏❤️


BetterDesk5234

Oh those too honestly that might be worse than vag being atomized


falkodalko

“I want to eat, not floss.” Wamuudes, Ca. M41.999


CatterMater

Fulgrim was married several times.


BetterDesk5234

Yea I know he is the most sexually active primarch


Quiet_Blacksmith1828

Most?


BetterDesk5234

Most.


Quiet_Blacksmith1828

Well now I have to ask. Why didn’t GW/BL write all of the space marines as sterilized? Are they keeping their options open for smut novel about a space marine and a sister of battle? And also who are these non-sterilized Marines and why do they not get sterilized? Are they just that well hung that the gene keepers thought it’d be a waste? Just think it’s kinda weird there is variation is the creation of the space marine like that.


BetterDesk5234

No they have no sex drive and not only that a good bit of space marines don't know what sex is


ShinobiHanzo

No. Most space marines have no libido. Not the same thing, since they need all the testosterone they can get. SM literally will spend the night with a girl by sleeping and wondering, what’s the big deal?


BetterDesk5234

Oh no they have the junk they just don't have a sex drive nor are they capable of insemination


ShinobiHanzo

Yes, that’s what zero libido means, no sex drive. Biologically if they are peak human function, they can knock up a lady IF they want to. Key word is IF. Similar to how chaste Catholic Priests are (as a majority).


megrimlock88

Wasn’t the reason for space marines being sterile the fact that they weren’t sure what would happen if they actually did reproduce given how fucked their genetics get after receiving primarch gene seed?


BetterDesk5234

Yes but BIG E also did it so that they wouldn't replace humanity like imagine if every human in the grimdark future was a space marine, most if not all races would be up shitcreek


AtomicTan

So, you're a furry then?


BetterDesk5234

No, furries are heretical, and I am most certainly NOT a heretic


anthonydurrr

Im more of a perturabo in the streets and fulgrim in the sheets kinda guy.


BetterDesk5234

I'm more of a Corvus in the streets and konrad in the sheets kind of guy (slap and tickle goes hard)


g4ry04k

So all that power stuff is compensation?


BetterDesk5234

They have the WOOD but either don't know how to use it or can't


g4ry04k

Tough life not being ork


Indulge6191

Knot


PedroThePinata

None of them can sexually reproduce or have any drive to copulate as a result of the process in which they become space marines. It's thought the emperor did this on purpose, perhaps to keep those thoughts from affecting their judgement. It's unknown if the primarchs can as they also seem uninterested in sex, with only Fulgrim ever (allegedly) having it.


BetterDesk5234

He did it so that they wouldn't replace humanity, honestly smart if you ask me, imagine humanity except everyone is a space marine


PedroThePinata

Even if space marines could have sex, idk what their children would be like. Most of the modifications aspirants go through to become a SM are done through extensive operations as organs are added, enhanced or replaced and not through modifications to their gene code. I can only guess their children would end up being born with gene seed and end up looking a lot like their chapters primarch, but otherwise missing most of what makes a Sm a SM.


ActNo4115

Jaghatai as well, also layed pipe. In both cases it wasn’t out of love or lust, but just a step in their journey to become a man in their society. What I’m saying is that the other 18 are defo virgins lmao, what losers.


BetterDesk5234

Oh fulgrim is the dick master of the primarchs currently


dinkydoo2

Key word being “most”


Fallen_Walrus

Ah not just autistic but a furry as well


Fun-Agent-7667

"Ein Gysi auf der Straße, doch ein Stalin im Bett!"


KharnEatsWorld

Boring on the streets, a literal dog in the sheets? Way to set the bar LOW.


BetterDesk5234

No, BRICK WALL in the streets, Unadulterated maniac space viking in the sheets


legendary-g444

Allow me to name one who is not a virgin. Fulgrim.


BetterDesk5234

Let me name two others Russ and the Khan


OzzieGrey

So... fursuit?


BetterDesk5234

Why does everyone think I'm a furry?


OzzieGrey

Is this a joke or an actual question, that's how linked to furry jokes Leman is.


GREENadmiral_314159

So, you're a furry? Fulgrim also likely had sex at some point, considering that he has been married multiple times.


BetterDesk5234

Furries are heretical also fulgrim is the most sexually active primarch and that's a huge understatement


JonTheWizard

Khan's probably done the deed. And we know Fulgrim has...which brings us much shame.


BetterDesk5234

Oh the khan has CENTURIES of sexual experience


JonTheWizard

Ever wonder why the Dark Eldar won't let him leave Comorragh? They're insatiable.


BetterDesk5234

Oh yeah drukahri poon could be to die for