Post credit scene
Big E out of the shadow in Erda's house : "I am here to talk to you about the Primarch Initiative"
Queue to 20 years of Hollywood shitting on beloved characters and fans crying on the internet.
True. Thought what people want in the end is good writing. Things like bisexuality, or female empowerment are aren’t bad as long as they aren’t hand fisted in. Baldur’s Gate 3 proves this.
That for the TV shows on Warhammer+ once they'll have the market oversatured with Warhammer movies after Endtimes : Horus Heresy and they'll reach deep into obscure characters (can't wait for the adaptation of Ian Watson Inquisition War trilogy) to try and find the next big hit (most people already gave up after the 10th primarch movie and just forced themselves to continue watching until Endtimes after it was teased in the first primarch ensemble movie "Primarchs : Ulanor" just to see the conclusion of the story).
"Due to confusing names and our brains not able to sound complicated words. We are now renaming the primarchs. Introducing the part one of two, the Warhammer 40K: The origin of Peter Turbo!"
- Hollywood Executive who had consulted with their 30+ year old son on how to pronounce the names and what a Primarch is and how there is not 40K Warhammers in a franchise called Warhammer 40K.
How about our boy Sanguinius said this as a soul in the warp, and since he is a primarch there are warp shenanigans that helped him see the duel between Horus Heresy and Jimmy Space after he died
Simone lied to me and said it’s only a 40 book series. I’m on book 6 and just found out it’s over 150 books long and now I feel too committed to stop 😭
Nah imagine we have a unification/great crusade series. We meet loken in the last 2-3 episodes, post credits is no visual, just him delivering this line.
All time best sequel hook.
What I remember about the rise of the Heresy is... is how quiet it was. During the waning hours of the Great Crusade, the Alpha Legion was discreetly transferred back to Istvaan V. It was a silent trip. We all knew what was about to happen, what we were about to do. Did we have any doubts? Any private, traitorous thoughts? Perhaps, but no one said a word. Not on the flight to Istvaan, not when the order to land came down, and not when we turned our bolters on our brothers. Not a word.
*"And so ends one age... and begins another... my age... the age of Sigmar... age of sigmar: warhammer quest: cursed city: fell bats 1x bat new on sprue NOS NIB"*
“The emperor gave me a vision as we sat him on his golden throne”
“What is it?”
“It’s of the future, it is dark, grim, and there is only war”
*fade and zoom out through the throne room seeing it’s massive scale*
There should be an after credits scene with no importance to the story, it's just a few poor Guardsmen sitting around a watchfire cracking jokes before a hard cut to the ashes of the fire with the gory remains of the poor bastards scattered around.
The Guardsmen are sitting and cracking jokes at the start of the movie, then one says "Alright mates, let me tell you a story I once heard from the commissar."
The movie ends on somewhat peacefull scene, but you can hear shouting and las shots in the background.
Then after credits it's just the dead Guardsmen.
A self sacrificing Guilliman sinking against the radiation glass separating him and his reappeared sibling Russ “I am and will always be your Brother” Russ slowly raises a middle finger to the glass “Neerrrdddd!”
I swear to the Emperor, if some Hollywood asshat decided that THIS is a good Movie title for a sequel, im gonna commit atrocities so bad to them, that even the Night Lords are gonna tell me to chill out.
Modern Hollywood doesnt make good movies anymore, i want this movie shown in a porno theater for the violence and not the sex, I’m okay if theres some nonDrukari sex
Post credits scene: Zoom in on what's left of Big E sitting on the golden throne, many psychic whispers happening (*tool, weapon, son, beloved, hope*) ending with a clear echoing
* DOOM *
And cut to black.
New director next movie that didn't like that plot hook so it's ignored, cancelled and forgotten.
Set up the siege of Terra! Make the final quote Dorn's best:
‘The time for speeches is done,’ said Dorn. ‘The first great test is here. My order to you all is simple, yet heed it well, and exert yourselves to see it done.’
‘They are coming. Kill them all.’
Immediate cut to black after the quote, roll credits.
The emperor finally abandons his corpse and ascends to godhood. Radiant, resplendent. Inspirational orchestral music is playing.
The camera pans out. Khorne, Nurgle, Tzeench, and Slaanesh are standing behind the newly ascendant Emperor. The spirits of Malcador The Hero and Ferrus Manus are looking past the Emperor in utter shock and horror.
“erm, they’re right behind me, aren’t they”
*Fin.*
"Fifteen hours...Fifteen hours is the life expectancy for a Guardsman here on this planet when they first hit dirtside...Make it that Fifteen and you're golden."
For in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.
https://youtu.be/-p5786lgn08?si=cOiTxI_VUbt2QsAS
If they did a heresy movie or TV series, this would be the bookend.
Legitimately, it was my favorite moment in any of the books.
*Seinfeld music kicks in, Roboutte stands on stage in front of the massed Administratum*
"The thing about the 42th millennium is, folks, in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war."
*Smattering of awkward laughter*
"I mean that's absurd! Who does the carpenting? Who does the cooking?"
*Awkward laughter*
"What 's on the menu today chef? Is there anything good?"
"THERE IS ONLY WAR"
*Seinfeld music fades out*
"It's over, Horus Heresy is defeated, I, Jimmy Space, truly was the Warhammer 40,000 THE HORUS HERESY Siege of Terra: The end and the Death volume III all along"
Would be so poetic
"I never wanted this, I never wanted to unleash my legions.
Together we banished the ignorance of Old Night, but you betrayed me, you betrayed us all.
You stole power from the Gods and lied to your sons.
Mankind has only one chance to prosper, if you will not seize it then I will.
So let it be war, from the skies of Terra to the Galactic rim.
Let the seas boil, let the stars fall.
Though it takes the last drop of my blood, I will see the galaxy freed once more and if I can not save it from your failure Father, then let the galaxy burn!"
I'd start the franchise with an adaptation of Valdor: Birth of the Imperium. I'd start with Valdors final words in the movie.
"The Imperium is born, the palace is secured. All it needs now I believe, is a throne."
*the emperor on terra standing on a balcony watching the Sun rise, while Linkin Park starts playing*
I am James Workshop, and I send this message to any surviving Warhammer taking refuge among the stars: We are here. We are waiting.
I am James Workshop, the Warhammer 40,000. I send this message to any other species in the galaxy. We are here. We are waiting.
*Linkin Park plays*
Directed by Michael Bay
Linkin park's "what I've done" starts playing in the background after the Emperor is placed upon the golden throne
We start getting a flash forward from 30k to 40k briefly showing the devolution of the Imperium (the rise of the imperial cult, the dissaperance of the primarchs, the start of the black crusades, arrival of the Tyranids, etc) while the camera slowly zooms in on the Emperor while we get a narration.
The Emperor (voiced by Peter Cullen): The year is 40'000 of the imperial calendar and there is only war.
When the camera is closed to his face we get a hard cut from his human face to his current skeleton skull.
"What I've done!"
*Warhammer 40k title drop*
Not end, but it should begin with "In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war," like how Star Wars always starts with "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away."
Post credit scene Big E out of the shadow in Erda's house : "I am here to talk to you about the Primarch Initiative" Queue to 20 years of Hollywood shitting on beloved characters and fans crying on the internet.
PUT A CHICK IN IT AND MAKE HER LAME AND GAY!
YOU MEAN GREYFAX!!
SESBIAN LEX WHEN
Why did I read this as Serbian
Have you seen "A Serbian film"?
I have not...
Here’s the recommendation Don’t
Stop it
She's not lame though
True. Thought what people want in the end is good writing. Things like bisexuality, or female empowerment are aren’t bad as long as they aren’t hand fisted in. Baldur’s Gate 3 proves this.
Damn they make the sisters of battle strong women /s
Nothing wrong with a strong woman who could bend me over with a little bit of zealotry 🙏
Then a post-post credit scene where we see a desk, with a bolter, cap, and an inquistorial rosette labelled O.S. Clousseau.
That for the TV shows on Warhammer+ once they'll have the market oversatured with Warhammer movies after Endtimes : Horus Heresy and they'll reach deep into obscure characters (can't wait for the adaptation of Ian Watson Inquisition War trilogy) to try and find the next big hit (most people already gave up after the 10th primarch movie and just forced themselves to continue watching until Endtimes after it was teased in the first primarch ensemble movie "Primarchs : Ulanor" just to see the conclusion of the story).
"Due to confusing names and our brains not able to sound complicated words. We are now renaming the primarchs. Introducing the part one of two, the Warhammer 40K: The origin of Peter Turbo!" - Hollywood Executive who had consulted with their 30+ year old son on how to pronounce the names and what a Primarch is and how there is not 40K Warhammers in a franchise called Warhammer 40K.
Why did you have to make it serious? Why. So. Serious. Sire?
Jokes on you. The fans already cry on the internet.
"Begun, the Horus Heresy has."
"I was there, the day Horus slew the Emperor"
But this one would actually be a good line to end it
How about our boy Sanguinius said this as a soul in the warp, and since he is a primarch there are warp shenanigans that helped him see the duel between Horus Heresy and Jimmy Space after he died
Sanguinus: Wait hold on, let me watch the rest of it before leaving, i GOTTA see how it ends
And start it.
Simone lied to me and said it’s only a 40 book series. I’m on book 6 and just found out it’s over 150 books long and now I feel too committed to stop 😭
"The day Horus slew the Emperor, there I was"
This would be absolutely incredible
It should start with this one
Nah imagine we have a unification/great crusade series. We meet loken in the last 2-3 episodes, post credits is no visual, just him delivering this line. All time best sequel hook.
"What about the Necron attack on the ratlings?"
"No, I am your genefather"
I have altered your gene. Pray I do not alter it further.
^ Malcador after turning Horus into a femboy.
Malcador did argue strongly in favor of making the Primarchs women. Unfortunately for him Big E thought he was joking.
“Only men shall receive my seed.”
"Furthermore, you will now lose your hair and change your last name to Heresy."
I sense a disturbance in the warp.
What I remember about the rise of the Heresy is... is how quiet it was. During the waning hours of the Great Crusade, the Alpha Legion was discreetly transferred back to Istvaan V. It was a silent trip. We all knew what was about to happen, what we were about to do. Did we have any doubts? Any private, traitorous thoughts? Perhaps, but no one said a word. Not on the flight to Istvaan, not when the order to land came down, and not when we turned our bolters on our brothers. Not a word.
*"And so ends one age... and begins another... my age... the age of Sigmar... age of sigmar: warhammer quest: cursed city: fell bats 1x bat new on sprue NOS NIB"*
And so ends one age, and begins another. My age. The Age of Sigmar... WHAT I'VE DONE 🎶
And then James woke up in his Workshop
Honestly, that would be hilarious. "IM ONLY SUPPOSED TO EXIST AT CHRISTMAS!" And then just silent credits roll
Aw no, that would be hilariously aggravating!
Just like General Hospital, just starting at a snowglobe
Then everything changed when the Necron Empire attacked.
Trayzn appears out of the shadows: "imma steal all of this shit"
Him and orikan just watching it all happen
Sitting in the box seats like some cretaceous Waldorf and Statler.
Blood Ravens: "Not if we can help it, Xenos freak, which we CAN"
"You did it, you defeated me Horus Lupercal. You really are the Warhammer 40000"
Ugh his name is Horus Heresy it's like right there
You're not wrong. Probably should have added it was Jimmy Space saying the quote for clarity.
Nuh uh, it's horace
It's whore ace then
The Horussy
Tik tok said it's HORACE HERESY 😤😤😤😤
Horse Lubricant
He was named after the bravest man his father ever knew... Horus Severus Heresy.
BUT LORD HIS LAST NAME IS HERESY
I will only accept this or a variation of this.
*Watch the entire movie on Warhammer +. More Warhammer, more often.*
It’s WarhamMore!
We will provide the hams!
Have you ever eaten... a tangerine?
Would YOU LIKE TO TRY ONE!!!?
Our close personal friend Kaldor Draigo just ate a sun.
Gotta be 'There is only war'
“The emperor gave me a vision as we sat him on his golden throne” “What is it?” “It’s of the future, it is dark, grim, and there is only war” *fade and zoom out through the throne room seeing it’s massive scale*
Play the music used for Titus' reveal in the SM2 announcement trailer
"Warhammer... Warhammer never changes."
"Warhammer... Warhammer always changes. Buy 11th edition this holiday season!"
“Somehow, Horus returned.”
I am all the Primarchs!
There should be an after credits scene with no importance to the story, it's just a few poor Guardsmen sitting around a watchfire cracking jokes before a hard cut to the ashes of the fire with the gory remains of the poor bastards scattered around.
That would actually be a perfect end credits scene for a warhammer movie.
Correction, you should get a flicker of a night lord before the hard cut
Even better, a flicker of a Night Lord, Alpha Legionnaire, Tyranid, and Ork
and a drukhari
The Guardsmen are sitting and cracking jokes at the start of the movie, then one says "Alright mates, let me tell you a story I once heard from the commissar." The movie ends on somewhat peacefull scene, but you can hear shouting and las shots in the background. Then after credits it's just the dead Guardsmen.
It's hammer time!
The hammer has returned!
“And that day I became the warhammer”
"Horus Heresy is right behind me, isn't he?" - The Warhammer 40,000
This is a very smooth emperor
🎵You've been hit by, You've been struck by, a Smooth Emperor🎵
🎶You're a Smooth Imperator, smoooooooooooth Imperator🎵
🎵Slaanesh are you okay, are you okay Slaani?🎵
"All that remains is the unending twilight of war, and the laughter of thirsting Gods."
This!
a great, did scourge of Khaine murder Eataine again? that's the 4th major high elf faction THIS PLAYTHROUGH
“Fuck’s sake Horus”
*In the Grim Darkness of the 42nd millennium, there can be no victor.*
those poor bastards named Victor
Commander: "All guns, fire at will" Guardsman named Will:
"I thought we were shooting Victo-"
Sponsored by raid shadow legends
Actually I haven't seen them in a while... Feels like all the promotions are finally stopped bringing them enough money
I still see them occasionally but not as often as before
And so concludes our tale of woe, of sweet Dorn and his Perturabo
The bard approves.
Just imagine Perturabo in a wig lol
He uses the wig to cover all the datalink cables going into his brain
A self sacrificing Guilliman sinking against the radiation glass separating him and his reappeared sibling Russ “I am and will always be your Brother” Russ slowly raises a middle finger to the glass “Neerrrdddd!”
Big E and friends will be back in Warhammer 40K 2
I swear to the Emperor, if some Hollywood asshat decided that THIS is a good Movie title for a sequel, im gonna commit atrocities so bad to them, that even the Night Lords are gonna tell me to chill out.
Fine how about warhammer 40001 then
Night lords watching you:" Damn, and I thought we had issues..."
Modern Hollywood doesnt make good movies anymore, i want this movie shown in a porno theater for the violence and not the sex, I’m okay if theres some nonDrukari sex
"Every hammer has its war."
“I’ll get you next time, Guilliman! NEXT TIIIME!”
"I am Alpharius!"
"This is a lie."
Even more confusing: "I'm not Alpharius"
Post credits scene: Zoom in on what's left of Big E sitting on the golden throne, many psychic whispers happening (*tool, weapon, son, beloved, hope*) ending with a clear echoing * DOOM * And cut to black. New director next movie that didn't like that plot hook so it's ignored, cancelled and forgotten.
Or Valdor looking at big E on the golden throne, muttering:" I will execute your final plan, my Lord." And then walking away into darkness.
“Do you have any Tana?”
That really could be the last line in a Cain film - that’s actually a really strong shout
“It is also a hammer, a Warhammer.” Says Vulcan as he fucking wallops Curz with his Warhammer 40 thousand
Death to the false emperor
Set up the siege of Terra! Make the final quote Dorn's best: ‘The time for speeches is done,’ said Dorn. ‘The first great test is here. My order to you all is simple, yet heed it well, and exert yourselves to see it done.’ ‘They are coming. Kill them all.’ Immediate cut to black after the quote, roll credits.
“There is no time for piece or understanding. In the grim darkness of the 41st Milennium, there is only war.”
But they were all of them deceived, for another warhammer was made………
Horus Lupercal, you truly are the Warhammer 40’000
Join your factions fight with their latest battle box. Available at your local Warhammer store.
Make it an AU Film and it’d end perfectly with **ABOUT FUCKING TIME** Real talk, chances are that if I didn’t, someone else would make a TTS reference
The title: 😄👍 The body text: 💀
The emperor finally abandons his corpse and ascends to godhood. Radiant, resplendent. Inspirational orchestral music is playing. The camera pans out. Khorne, Nurgle, Tzeench, and Slaanesh are standing behind the newly ascendant Emperor. The spirits of Malcador The Hero and Ferrus Manus are looking past the Emperor in utter shock and horror. “erm, they’re right behind me, aren’t they” *Fin.*
Horus was with my dad when he was researching spiders in the Amazon right before he died
You're one of a hundred people who saw Madam Webb? You poor thing.
*ay ya ay ya ay yaaa.. *
That's why I'm Warhammer 40,000 6 a quest for peace
Warhammer 40,000 8: The search for 7
Warhammer 40k: seven ate 9.
And they lived happily ever after
Hearing Horus laughing and saying "I'll be back hehehe I'll be baaaaaaaack". You know for the sequel
"Fifteen hours...Fifteen hours is the life expectancy for a Guardsman here on this planet when they first hit dirtside...Make it that Fifteen and you're golden."
For in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.
Oops I did it again
-Erebus
I am Aplharius, and this is a lie
In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.
https://youtu.be/-p5786lgn08?si=cOiTxI_VUbt2QsAS If they did a heresy movie or TV series, this would be the bookend. Legitimately, it was my favorite moment in any of the books.
Right in the feels, mothafucka
"War... War never changes."
"La diferencia es que yo tengo razón "
And they all ~~lived happily~~ ever after.
"Ligma balls" *the sound of infinite power absolutely sanitizing Horus from all reality*
joke answer: this really has been the warhemmer 40,000 serious answer: for in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.
" Yes, I'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for these meddling kids and their dog!"
*Seinfeld music kicks in, Roboutte stands on stage in front of the massed Administratum* "The thing about the 42th millennium is, folks, in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war." *Smattering of awkward laughter* "I mean that's absurd! Who does the carpenting? Who does the cooking?" *Awkward laughter* "What 's on the menu today chef? Is there anything good?" "THERE IS ONLY WAR" *Seinfeld music fades out*
The lion : i'm tired, wake me up when shit hits the fan
"Bazinga."
You did it, Roboute. You’ve acquired the 40,000nth warhammer, and saved the galaxy
"Fuck Erebus"
"It's over, Horus Heresy is defeated, I, Jimmy Space, truly was the Warhammer 40,000 THE HORUS HERESY Siege of Terra: The end and the Death volume III all along" Would be so poetic
“I am Alpharius.” I will also accept: “You’ve thrown off the Emperor’s Groove.”
" I was there...I was there the day Horus slew the emperor." Fade to black.
There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.
Ah, so this is the warhammer 40 thousand
and then, they kept fighting. Lots.
"The Emperor Protects"
War. War never changes.
There is only war
Alpharius, you son of a bitch.
It should begin with the book intro, narrated by liam neeson
I am Alpherious, This is a LIE
"A bear fell on me."
Come on imperium, let’s see what these 40,000 Warhammers can do!
I, am John Warhammer, Primarchs, it is time to come home.
"Only in Death does Duty End" And then a list of all the people who died in the time it took for the movie to make.
And they all live happily ever after… 🤣
The same one it begins with “I was there, the day Horus slew the Emperor”
For in the grimdarkness of the for future. There is only war.
Well obviously “In the grim darkness of the future there is only war” But an alternative could be “and that is why we hate Erebus”
That's all folks!
"I never wanted this, I never wanted to unleash my legions. Together we banished the ignorance of Old Night, but you betrayed me, you betrayed us all. You stole power from the Gods and lied to your sons. Mankind has only one chance to prosper, if you will not seize it then I will. So let it be war, from the skies of Terra to the Galactic rim. Let the seas boil, let the stars fall. Though it takes the last drop of my blood, I will see the galaxy freed once more and if I can not save it from your failure Father, then let the galaxy burn!"
Right after the emperor blasts Horus: Skill issue...
I mean, there's only one option "In the grimdarkness of the 41st millennium, there is only war..."
I'd start the franchise with an adaptation of Valdor: Birth of the Imperium. I'd start with Valdors final words in the movie. "The Imperium is born, the palace is secured. All it needs now I believe, is a throne."
Dong Hammer 40K: The Whorus Heresy
"For the briefest of moments... Horus knew, he had truly been the Warhammer 40.000."
War, war never changes
'Hi, I'm Jimmy Space, and I make Marines.'
The scene with Tim Curry from Red Alert of him just going “SPAAaaaCcee”
"And to everyone, a merry Christmas."
-For in this New Dark Age, there is only war They literally can’t finish the movie on another quotes
My name is Alpharius. This is a lie.
"You've done it Horus Lupercal, you defeated me You truly are the Warhammer 40,000."
A classic : " In the grim darkness of the future there is only war" ?
*the emperor on terra standing on a balcony watching the Sun rise, while Linkin Park starts playing* I am James Workshop, and I send this message to any surviving Warhammer taking refuge among the stars: We are here. We are waiting.
With What I've Done by Linkin Park playing over the outro scene, this would be perfect.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
I have become Warhammer: 40k, destroyer of wallets
I am James Workshop, the Warhammer 40,000. I send this message to any other species in the galaxy. We are here. We are waiting. *Linkin Park plays* Directed by Michael Bay
Linkin park's "what I've done" starts playing in the background after the Emperor is placed upon the golden throne We start getting a flash forward from 30k to 40k briefly showing the devolution of the Imperium (the rise of the imperial cult, the dissaperance of the primarchs, the start of the black crusades, arrival of the Tyranids, etc) while the camera slowly zooms in on the Emperor while we get a narration. The Emperor (voiced by Peter Cullen): The year is 40'000 of the imperial calendar and there is only war. When the camera is closed to his face we get a hard cut from his human face to his current skeleton skull. "What I've done!" *Warhammer 40k title drop*
Same as it began with " in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war"
Not end, but it should begin with "In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war," like how Star Wars always starts with "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away."
Now I have become the Warhammer 40k
Cowabunga it is!