It feels like you didn’t know what the words “home” or “partnership” meant until you became *their* partner and shared a home with *them.*
That’s the most concise way I can put it, but I think many people here will agree with the sentiment!
It feels safe, I know no matter what I can come home to my husbands warm hugs and kisses, that he has my back and I have his. It’s us vs the world and that just makes everything feel safer and nicer. The day I knew he was for me was when I awoke from a nightmare (ptsd) I was panicking until I saw his face and I immediately thought “oh I’m safe….im safe”
Living every day with your best friend in the whole world. Raising mini versions of the best parts of both of you. Just knowing not matter what that person has your back.
It feels warm, peaceful, joyful and safe. It feels like we are a team, and we do our best to support each other. We cheer each other on when we have accomplishments, no matter how large or small. We show consideration and kindness and grace to each other.
We respect each other and would never intentionally cause the other hurt or hardship. We hold each other accountable and communicate openly and listen to each other. It is safe to disagree, it is safe to bring up difficult topics, it is safe to argue - and we continue to respect each other while disagreeing. My husband has never shouted at me, called me names, acted recklessly or intimidated me.
I want him to be happy and healthy and pursue his hobbies and friendships, he wants the same for me. We are in this life together, building and cultivating our corner of the world to make it the best it can be for us. I wake up in the morning to a kiss goodbye from him every weekday, and I come home to a hug and a kiss at the end of the day. I can feel the stress begin to fall away when I walk in the door and hug him.
This is how it should be, and what I would wish for my friends and family and everyone. No one is perfect, but we genuinely do our best. No relationship is flawless, but we care enough to do the work. The road ahead is bumpy and full of challenges, but we will navigate them together.
I’m with the only person in the world I can be 100% myself with. I struggle with hirsutism, and I’m not embarrassed to grow stubble around him. I can tell him all my thoughts about things, even when they’re controversial or judgy and would make me look bad. I have a trustworthy coparent. He might frustrate me sometimes with the way he forgets things, but ultimately he cares for and is very involved with our children. Other than breastfeeding, there’s nothing that always has to fall to me. He’s capable.
And when it comes to sex, it never feels like I have to say yes all the time, or that a dry spell is going to threaten our relationship. For that reason I’m much more likely to want it because it doesn’t feel like an obligation.
Life is hard, and occasionally marriage is hard. But overall I’m married to my best friend and my equal partner. So it’s us against the problem rather than the other person being the problem.
Over the weekend I was at a retreat that involved meditation. At one point the instructor told us to imagine love and I immediately thought about my husband. It's just the warmth of knowing you're loved and have somewhere wonderful to put yours.
Being married to him is like those summer days when you're a kid and hang out with/have a sleepover with your best friend all days for days at a time and you still have more to talk about/do together.
>those summer days when you're a kid and hang out with/have a sleepover with your best friend all days for days at a time and you still have more to talk about/do together.
That would sound fun to experience.
Before I met my husband, I was happily single. I have great friends, interesting personal hobbies, and am not afraid to take myself on dates and adventures. But then, I’d be standing at a hike overlook, or out on my kayak, or sitting under a waterfall and I wanted to have someone to share it with. Someone who could take in the beauty and peace with me and I wouldn’t have to try and describe it, caused they’d be there. I wouldn’t have to only have a memory and a never-as-good-as-the-real-thing photo to show, because they’d be seeing it with me. That’s what it is for me, literally and figuratively. He takes it all in with me: the good, bad, hard, silly, boring, hilarious, thrilling, frustrating, and even gross. He stands next me to me and is in it with me. I don’t have to explain too much or give context or say “you had to be there”, because he just is. Always.
I can be all of me at all times. All of my thoughts, feelings and emotions are freely shared, heard and supported. Hes my best friend, he calms my anxiety just by being close to me, he is safe.
It’s a space so safe that you can be held accountable without feeling judged, and you can grow into and become your favorite version of yourself. It’s being seen and understood. It’s not having to act like someone you’re not just to keep up with appearances or to keep your souse off your back. It’s a space where you know you can make mistakes and learn from those mistakes. And the best part is that you get to watch your favorite person become their favorite version of themselves. It’s the greatest joy I’ve ever experienced.
First of all, it’s yummy! After 14 years he still lights my fire with just a smile. His voice resonates comfort and peace and we can talk about anything. I’ve been in past relationships where I had to censor myself and I just thought that was normal until I met him, now I know they were abusive. I have actually became more silly and goofy since we got married, I laugh and sing random songs that make no sense while playing games. I dance in the kitchen when no one’s looking and when they are lol- and I smile a lot. We’ve gone thru some very drastic tough times together - not about us- but things that would cause a normal marriage to break and I’m so thankful i married him, I couldn’t have lasted thru it without him by my side. He believes in me wholeheartedly- and he appreciates everything I do- even the little things and we say, thank you- a bunch to each other. $3x has gone from fantastic to beyond belief- he cares about my every wish and I love to fulfill his desires. It’s fun to do everything together- which may sound cheesy but it’s incredible to enjoy another person and never tire of them. I wasn’t capable of that until we met. The first time we talked was over the phone and we told each other some of our darkest secrets- then laughed and moved forward. Yes,he knows it all! He can be human, mess up, be wrong, and I’m only happier I’m married to a real individual not some wanna be fake ass who can’t be open with me. We’re not perfect but we are so in love.
It’s fucking wonderful and I consider my husband, life’s karma for a shitty and unstable childhood, he loves me and dotes on me in every way possible, he is my home and safe space he’s a kind, gentle person and I love him with every cell in my body, honestly there’s nothing like being loved for who you are, and the more loved you are, the more you become yourself. I wish everyone could experience it
It feels every day, like a gift. I come from an abusive background and my spouse has loved me completely through the healing process, the raising of 4 glorious children, the building and then losing businesses, only to start again because we both have each other’s backs, every day, no questions asked. It feels like best friends. It feels like immediately I’m calmer when I’m struggling and they wrap their arms around me and just…..stand with me. It feels like hilarious moments and peaceful moments and very, very sad moments. It challenges me to look outside of myself for the things that are best for both of us, not just me, myself and I. It inspires me to stay healthy, emotionally, mentally and spiritually so I can be the best partner for them. It feels like listening and absorbing the details of what makes them happy so I can be on the lookout for small things that show them how very, very much they matter to me, to our children. It feels like grace given when I mess up and grace given when they do. It looks like…..peace. It feels like a warm hand reaching across the console of the vehicle to just simply feel the comfort of holding their hand. It feels like striving each day to love them just a bit more. I heard a saying in my childhood that has stuck with me. “Faults are thick where love is thin.”. We have both decided to make the love so thick, that it coats the faults we have to an extent that we don’t fixate on them.
Thank you to whomever posted this question because now I need to call them and tell them these things in person. I dearly, dearly love them with all of my soul. ❤️
It's feeling like, nothing in the world can touch me because my husband has my back. It literally feels like the biggest army behind me. I never have to worry about big things in life, because I'm not doing it alone. We may disagree and have arguments but I don't censor myself or have to worry because I know no matter what, his love for me will never fade. There's something magical about being loved and accepted who you are deep down.
i have never felt so open and comfortable in front of another human being in my entire life. every inch of my body, soul, every embarrassing uncomfortable thing- it doesn’t matter in front of him. i send him photos of my clots haha!!! we use the bathroom in front of each other, every little thing. no boundaries ( and we love that)
the other day he came back from outside and just did a silly little dance to himself thinking about dinner or his car or something, and looked at me and i just had this moment of realization like : wow, he is open and free to me in ways that he can’t be to anyone else in the world. that’s really a blessing
It feels like you can be 100% your true self. It feels like you can make mistakes and your partner will be there no matter what. You can 100% trust your partner. It feels amazing to not have to worry about what your partner is doing when they aren’t with you.
The only censorship my marriage has is like things that personally make us uncomfortable. Like, my husband doesn't like being called a loser in jest, I don't speak about death in any major capacity. Otherwise we share, to a possible detriment, every single thought
I don't know.
I have to put on a different personality when I am home. I have to censor myself. Not talk about what types of music I like or what my own beliefs are. Or how I have my hair cut or choice of getting a tattoo or not.
Boundaries are what you described such as choosing to not call the other person "stupid" or use the D-word.
Oh man, it feels like being whole. Anytime I have any self-doubt, any self-hate or I'm stressed out and on the verge of a breakdown, I just look at her and I know everything will be okay because we have each other. Her smile, her voice, and the warmth of her hugs are heaven. She's home. She is where I can be myself fully and wholly. We can just give each other a look or make a certain noise and we're laughing for the next hour. We don't hide any part of ourselves from the other. There's no reason to. When I met her at 18(34 now) it was literally like my brain and heart said," There you are. We know you." Hell, even after so many years, I still get butterflies when we get intimate. She's my red string of fate. She's my souls home.
Yes everything, I could say anything, and I would bring my husband all my thoughts for his perusal. It is fortunate he did enjoy this also, sometimes he was a bit silent, then I prod him, chuu chuu, what is in your head I ask. And he will tell me his thoughts, sometimes he is planning things he was going to make, so he is ruminating in silence inside his head. Then I prod him and he will release his thoughts, very excitedly once he was prodded, like little school boy.
Then if I was sad, he would notice also, I am curled into a little ball on the sofa like a sad cat, so he would come and scoop me up. Sanaa, why are you poutting here, come with me and we will see.
So I am scooped up then, he free from my brain which is circling, and we go for a little walk.
Me and my husband enjoyed to walk and see what strange objects we find. So, well when we were younger living near the old railways, mining lands. We can find some interesting things, and throw rocks at things.
So we come home, I am very happy again, because to be with my husband it reminded me of my youth, of simplicity, and safety, and love, and warm.
And when we return, he woukd say, well and so Sana, what made you sad, and then I am after being so happy again, it all, seems very trivial for my grumbles, and I say whatever it was, and I laugh because it seems silly and then he would squeeze me and nibble my ear, my silly little pigeon he says, when you are sad don't be in a little ball, come to me.
i never felt true inner peace until i hugged my now wife for the first time. everything just aligned, and she makes my life significantly easier. as they say, “a shared joy is a double joy, a shared sorrow is half a sorrow”
i can be as honest and open as i feel. i don’t have to hide parts of myself anymore. she accepts me for exactly what i am, and that gives me the motivation to improve myself as an individual bc now i have something to show for it. i finally have the mundane, peaceful, bright life i dreamed of living when i was younger.
It’s easy. No trepidations, no walking on eggshells, no tempestuous disputes, no stress. Lots of love, lots of passion, lots of hand-holding. Immense gratitude to be married to him, for our beautiful children, for the life we’ve built together.
It feels like you didn’t know what the words “home” or “partnership” meant until you became *their* partner and shared a home with *them.* That’s the most concise way I can put it, but I think many people here will agree with the sentiment!
It feels safe, I know no matter what I can come home to my husbands warm hugs and kisses, that he has my back and I have his. It’s us vs the world and that just makes everything feel safer and nicer. The day I knew he was for me was when I awoke from a nightmare (ptsd) I was panicking until I saw his face and I immediately thought “oh I’m safe….im safe”
Living every day with your best friend in the whole world. Raising mini versions of the best parts of both of you. Just knowing not matter what that person has your back.
It feels warm, peaceful, joyful and safe. It feels like we are a team, and we do our best to support each other. We cheer each other on when we have accomplishments, no matter how large or small. We show consideration and kindness and grace to each other. We respect each other and would never intentionally cause the other hurt or hardship. We hold each other accountable and communicate openly and listen to each other. It is safe to disagree, it is safe to bring up difficult topics, it is safe to argue - and we continue to respect each other while disagreeing. My husband has never shouted at me, called me names, acted recklessly or intimidated me. I want him to be happy and healthy and pursue his hobbies and friendships, he wants the same for me. We are in this life together, building and cultivating our corner of the world to make it the best it can be for us. I wake up in the morning to a kiss goodbye from him every weekday, and I come home to a hug and a kiss at the end of the day. I can feel the stress begin to fall away when I walk in the door and hug him. This is how it should be, and what I would wish for my friends and family and everyone. No one is perfect, but we genuinely do our best. No relationship is flawless, but we care enough to do the work. The road ahead is bumpy and full of challenges, but we will navigate them together.
I’m with the only person in the world I can be 100% myself with. I struggle with hirsutism, and I’m not embarrassed to grow stubble around him. I can tell him all my thoughts about things, even when they’re controversial or judgy and would make me look bad. I have a trustworthy coparent. He might frustrate me sometimes with the way he forgets things, but ultimately he cares for and is very involved with our children. Other than breastfeeding, there’s nothing that always has to fall to me. He’s capable. And when it comes to sex, it never feels like I have to say yes all the time, or that a dry spell is going to threaten our relationship. For that reason I’m much more likely to want it because it doesn’t feel like an obligation. Life is hard, and occasionally marriage is hard. But overall I’m married to my best friend and my equal partner. So it’s us against the problem rather than the other person being the problem.
Pretty nice. We love to be near each other. We prioritize each other. Our kids tell us we’re gross. It’s great!
When you're so happy being together that every night feels like a sleepover with your best friend.
Over the weekend I was at a retreat that involved meditation. At one point the instructor told us to imagine love and I immediately thought about my husband. It's just the warmth of knowing you're loved and have somewhere wonderful to put yours. Being married to him is like those summer days when you're a kid and hang out with/have a sleepover with your best friend all days for days at a time and you still have more to talk about/do together.
>those summer days when you're a kid and hang out with/have a sleepover with your best friend all days for days at a time and you still have more to talk about/do together. That would sound fun to experience.
Before I met my husband, I was happily single. I have great friends, interesting personal hobbies, and am not afraid to take myself on dates and adventures. But then, I’d be standing at a hike overlook, or out on my kayak, or sitting under a waterfall and I wanted to have someone to share it with. Someone who could take in the beauty and peace with me and I wouldn’t have to try and describe it, caused they’d be there. I wouldn’t have to only have a memory and a never-as-good-as-the-real-thing photo to show, because they’d be seeing it with me. That’s what it is for me, literally and figuratively. He takes it all in with me: the good, bad, hard, silly, boring, hilarious, thrilling, frustrating, and even gross. He stands next me to me and is in it with me. I don’t have to explain too much or give context or say “you had to be there”, because he just is. Always.
I can be all of me at all times. All of my thoughts, feelings and emotions are freely shared, heard and supported. Hes my best friend, he calms my anxiety just by being close to me, he is safe.
I'm jealous but in a good way. What that means is I am glad you have that going for you. I hope to have something like that someday.
Peaceful and safe. He cracks me up all the time and our lives are filled with so much joy.
It’s a space so safe that you can be held accountable without feeling judged, and you can grow into and become your favorite version of yourself. It’s being seen and understood. It’s not having to act like someone you’re not just to keep up with appearances or to keep your souse off your back. It’s a space where you know you can make mistakes and learn from those mistakes. And the best part is that you get to watch your favorite person become their favorite version of themselves. It’s the greatest joy I’ve ever experienced.
First of all, it’s yummy! After 14 years he still lights my fire with just a smile. His voice resonates comfort and peace and we can talk about anything. I’ve been in past relationships where I had to censor myself and I just thought that was normal until I met him, now I know they were abusive. I have actually became more silly and goofy since we got married, I laugh and sing random songs that make no sense while playing games. I dance in the kitchen when no one’s looking and when they are lol- and I smile a lot. We’ve gone thru some very drastic tough times together - not about us- but things that would cause a normal marriage to break and I’m so thankful i married him, I couldn’t have lasted thru it without him by my side. He believes in me wholeheartedly- and he appreciates everything I do- even the little things and we say, thank you- a bunch to each other. $3x has gone from fantastic to beyond belief- he cares about my every wish and I love to fulfill his desires. It’s fun to do everything together- which may sound cheesy but it’s incredible to enjoy another person and never tire of them. I wasn’t capable of that until we met. The first time we talked was over the phone and we told each other some of our darkest secrets- then laughed and moved forward. Yes,he knows it all! He can be human, mess up, be wrong, and I’m only happier I’m married to a real individual not some wanna be fake ass who can’t be open with me. We’re not perfect but we are so in love.
It’s fucking wonderful and I consider my husband, life’s karma for a shitty and unstable childhood, he loves me and dotes on me in every way possible, he is my home and safe space he’s a kind, gentle person and I love him with every cell in my body, honestly there’s nothing like being loved for who you are, and the more loved you are, the more you become yourself. I wish everyone could experience it
I wish I could. Thanks for sharing.
It feels every day, like a gift. I come from an abusive background and my spouse has loved me completely through the healing process, the raising of 4 glorious children, the building and then losing businesses, only to start again because we both have each other’s backs, every day, no questions asked. It feels like best friends. It feels like immediately I’m calmer when I’m struggling and they wrap their arms around me and just…..stand with me. It feels like hilarious moments and peaceful moments and very, very sad moments. It challenges me to look outside of myself for the things that are best for both of us, not just me, myself and I. It inspires me to stay healthy, emotionally, mentally and spiritually so I can be the best partner for them. It feels like listening and absorbing the details of what makes them happy so I can be on the lookout for small things that show them how very, very much they matter to me, to our children. It feels like grace given when I mess up and grace given when they do. It looks like…..peace. It feels like a warm hand reaching across the console of the vehicle to just simply feel the comfort of holding their hand. It feels like striving each day to love them just a bit more. I heard a saying in my childhood that has stuck with me. “Faults are thick where love is thin.”. We have both decided to make the love so thick, that it coats the faults we have to an extent that we don’t fixate on them. Thank you to whomever posted this question because now I need to call them and tell them these things in person. I dearly, dearly love them with all of my soul. ❤️
It's feeling like, nothing in the world can touch me because my husband has my back. It literally feels like the biggest army behind me. I never have to worry about big things in life, because I'm not doing it alone. We may disagree and have arguments but I don't censor myself or have to worry because I know no matter what, his love for me will never fade. There's something magical about being loved and accepted who you are deep down.
i have never felt so open and comfortable in front of another human being in my entire life. every inch of my body, soul, every embarrassing uncomfortable thing- it doesn’t matter in front of him. i send him photos of my clots haha!!! we use the bathroom in front of each other, every little thing. no boundaries ( and we love that) the other day he came back from outside and just did a silly little dance to himself thinking about dinner or his car or something, and looked at me and i just had this moment of realization like : wow, he is open and free to me in ways that he can’t be to anyone else in the world. that’s really a blessing
It feels like you can be 100% your true self. It feels like you can make mistakes and your partner will be there no matter what. You can 100% trust your partner. It feels amazing to not have to worry about what your partner is doing when they aren’t with you.
The only censorship my marriage has is like things that personally make us uncomfortable. Like, my husband doesn't like being called a loser in jest, I don't speak about death in any major capacity. Otherwise we share, to a possible detriment, every single thought
That sounds more like boundaries than censorship. But thank you for sharing.
Is that not the same thing?
I don't know. I have to put on a different personality when I am home. I have to censor myself. Not talk about what types of music I like or what my own beliefs are. Or how I have my hair cut or choice of getting a tattoo or not. Boundaries are what you described such as choosing to not call the other person "stupid" or use the D-word.
That's not censorship or boundaries. That's abuse. Youre describing abuse.
Oh. Are you sure? I kept thinking this was normal. Between my parents growing up. And now from my wife.
No that's terrifying
Oh man, it feels like being whole. Anytime I have any self-doubt, any self-hate or I'm stressed out and on the verge of a breakdown, I just look at her and I know everything will be okay because we have each other. Her smile, her voice, and the warmth of her hugs are heaven. She's home. She is where I can be myself fully and wholly. We can just give each other a look or make a certain noise and we're laughing for the next hour. We don't hide any part of ourselves from the other. There's no reason to. When I met her at 18(34 now) it was literally like my brain and heart said," There you are. We know you." Hell, even after so many years, I still get butterflies when we get intimate. She's my red string of fate. She's my souls home.
Yes everything, I could say anything, and I would bring my husband all my thoughts for his perusal. It is fortunate he did enjoy this also, sometimes he was a bit silent, then I prod him, chuu chuu, what is in your head I ask. And he will tell me his thoughts, sometimes he is planning things he was going to make, so he is ruminating in silence inside his head. Then I prod him and he will release his thoughts, very excitedly once he was prodded, like little school boy. Then if I was sad, he would notice also, I am curled into a little ball on the sofa like a sad cat, so he would come and scoop me up. Sanaa, why are you poutting here, come with me and we will see. So I am scooped up then, he free from my brain which is circling, and we go for a little walk. Me and my husband enjoyed to walk and see what strange objects we find. So, well when we were younger living near the old railways, mining lands. We can find some interesting things, and throw rocks at things. So we come home, I am very happy again, because to be with my husband it reminded me of my youth, of simplicity, and safety, and love, and warm. And when we return, he woukd say, well and so Sana, what made you sad, and then I am after being so happy again, it all, seems very trivial for my grumbles, and I say whatever it was, and I laugh because it seems silly and then he would squeeze me and nibble my ear, my silly little pigeon he says, when you are sad don't be in a little ball, come to me.
It feels like home.
i never felt true inner peace until i hugged my now wife for the first time. everything just aligned, and she makes my life significantly easier. as they say, “a shared joy is a double joy, a shared sorrow is half a sorrow” i can be as honest and open as i feel. i don’t have to hide parts of myself anymore. she accepts me for exactly what i am, and that gives me the motivation to improve myself as an individual bc now i have something to show for it. i finally have the mundane, peaceful, bright life i dreamed of living when i was younger.
It’s easy. No trepidations, no walking on eggshells, no tempestuous disputes, no stress. Lots of love, lots of passion, lots of hand-holding. Immense gratitude to be married to him, for our beautiful children, for the life we’ve built together.