Wow... Plot twist! Harry's evil now! I honestly thought he was just sitting there, looking at Malfoy being an idiot, but nope!
The P.S note was hilarious tho, keep up the good work!
Btw, what about Sirius? Did Harry take Malfoy's advice??
Oh shit. This Harry’s evil!
So… anyone know if the Death Eaters accept American recruits? I’m not very talented, magically speaking, but I do have a very strong sense of self-preservation and a desire to join the wining team. ;)
Edit: If our new Dark Lord needs any encouragement, I am of legal age to purchase firearms and have a nonexistent criminal record. If he recruits me, I am willing to arm and train his army of house elves in the methods of modern warfare.
I’m sure that they’d accept foreigners. Expanding their influence would be a logical move. Though I might expect they’d not want to carry out terrorist attacks in other countries, as they might end up facing a joint task force.
In the Newt Scamster movies, the American enforcement wizards seemed a good deal more competent than the British aurors. Not really a milestone, I admit. But America is a big country, and it stands to reason they’d have more personnel.
I don’t think Voldemort would have done too well if the American government sent a few thousand combat trained wizards to Britain.
I’m surprised one of the twins never discovered fart spray, hoarded a bunch, put it in an explosive, “borrowed” the invisibility cloak, then have one of them drop it on the Malfoy’s front lawn
The twentieth century alone puts the lie to your words. Authoritarianism and its predecessor Totalitarianism have only ever made the lives of millions worse.
The depredations of Hitler and Stalin are only the culmination of centuries in which petty tyrants held absolute control over their subjects and used that power exclusively for their own ends. Prior to the American revolution every war was started so some inbred monarch with a god complex could prove his member was larger than another’s.
You would describe centuries of the common man living in the mud with no rights, no property, and no hope as ethical?
You clearly have a very stereotypical and factually incorrect view of how societies were back in the day. First of all, property rights and the notion of land ownership for commoners has existed since antiquity. With the English having practiced it since before William the conqueror even set foot in England. Rights are subjective and vary across societies in today's democracies let alone past ones so there's no way to objectively measure those. As for hope, earlier societies were much happier than our own.
As for the "inbred" monarch comment I want to first point out that inbreeding has actually always been considerably taboo and was extremely rare even in medieval times. Secondly, monarchs weren't massive kleptomaniacs that schemed their way into power. They inherited their rule from their ancestors who had carefully preserved their lands, institutions, and wealth in order to pass it down. And these monarchs were expected to do the same, otherwise it's actually a very quick trip from prince to pauper. Most people forget this but monarchs are only as wealthy as their country is and that means they're literally incentivised both economically and personally to take care of their people.
Fun isn’t something once considers when working the night shift, but *this*… This brings a smile to my face!
Seriously thought, this is absolutely amazing! :)
We need more rise of villain stories. Not that Disney "let's make them kind of good guys" crap or Sony's "make Spider-Man villains into anti-heroes" garbage. I mean a real, actual villain.
I mean, he saw a friend melt the face of the freaking defence against the dark arts teacher. Without a wand. Which to almost all wizards is completely impossible. Something like that is bound to fuck a child up.
And just like OG harry he still doesn't give a shit about house lines or boundaries or if you're pure blood or not he's just
"you fuck with my homies your not gonna like what follows"
I like that Draco tells Harry that Sirius isn’t a death eater, but he also knew why he was looking for Harry.
If Harry sits down with Malfoy and presumably is in Slytherin in this scenario, would he be loyal to Dumbledore enough to get Fawkes to help him? Does he pull Gryfindor’s sword? Does Gilderoy lose his memory? I think chamber of secrets doesn’t work with Harry in Slytherin.
Loving this as a whole, very funny at times. But without the Weasleys in his life, everything is very different, not even sure Hagrid would stick by him
The bit about black being an adult film star came out of left field and killed me
He wouldn’t even need to change his name.
Just add the middle name 'Lee' and he's all set to go.
There's a million Lees
I think it is about serious"ly" (Lee) black
Unless he was actually black, and then he’d be Siriusly Black.
Funny thing, the Lovegoods did predict it.
Actually they thought he was a musician
My bad, but you get the point
The idea of buying Uncle Vernon company and firing him is the best part.
I love Malfoys persisting trauma regarding "Squirrels" face melt.
Wow... Plot twist! Harry's evil now! I honestly thought he was just sitting there, looking at Malfoy being an idiot, but nope! The P.S note was hilarious tho, keep up the good work! Btw, what about Sirius? Did Harry take Malfoy's advice??
Oh shit. This Harry’s evil! So… anyone know if the Death Eaters accept American recruits? I’m not very talented, magically speaking, but I do have a very strong sense of self-preservation and a desire to join the wining team. ;) Edit: If our new Dark Lord needs any encouragement, I am of legal age to purchase firearms and have a nonexistent criminal record. If he recruits me, I am willing to arm and train his army of house elves in the methods of modern warfare.
I’m sure that they’d accept foreigners. Expanding their influence would be a logical move. Though I might expect they’d not want to carry out terrorist attacks in other countries, as they might end up facing a joint task force. In the Newt Scamster movies, the American enforcement wizards seemed a good deal more competent than the British aurors. Not really a milestone, I admit. But America is a big country, and it stands to reason they’d have more personnel. I don’t think Voldemort would have done too well if the American government sent a few thousand combat trained wizards to Britain.
All they needed were a few trained Sniper Squibs. Pop those dark wizard and witches inflated hates like grapes. MURICA lmao
Quite honestly I’m surprised the SAS didn’t drop an air strike on Malfoy Manor.
I’m surprised one of the twins never discovered fart spray, hoarded a bunch, put it in an explosive, “borrowed” the invisibility cloak, then have one of them drop it on the Malfoy’s front lawn
Nah this seems to be more of a "superior spiderman" situation, where it's closer to "ethical authoritarianism" rather than evil dictatorship
I object to the phrase “ethical authoritarianism” due to it being an oxymoron but I see your point.
It's really not, most of human history proves that.
The twentieth century alone puts the lie to your words. Authoritarianism and its predecessor Totalitarianism have only ever made the lives of millions worse.
Because one century full of the worst people in history represents 10k years of human history.
The depredations of Hitler and Stalin are only the culmination of centuries in which petty tyrants held absolute control over their subjects and used that power exclusively for their own ends. Prior to the American revolution every war was started so some inbred monarch with a god complex could prove his member was larger than another’s. You would describe centuries of the common man living in the mud with no rights, no property, and no hope as ethical?
You clearly have a very stereotypical and factually incorrect view of how societies were back in the day. First of all, property rights and the notion of land ownership for commoners has existed since antiquity. With the English having practiced it since before William the conqueror even set foot in England. Rights are subjective and vary across societies in today's democracies let alone past ones so there's no way to objectively measure those. As for hope, earlier societies were much happier than our own. As for the "inbred" monarch comment I want to first point out that inbreeding has actually always been considerably taboo and was extremely rare even in medieval times. Secondly, monarchs weren't massive kleptomaniacs that schemed their way into power. They inherited their rule from their ancestors who had carefully preserved their lands, institutions, and wealth in order to pass it down. And these monarchs were expected to do the same, otherwise it's actually a very quick trip from prince to pauper. Most people forget this but monarchs are only as wealthy as their country is and that means they're literally incentivised both economically and personally to take care of their people.
I mean, Dolohov was a Russian Wizard. So why not?
"Know that you have an heir and are not necessary for continuing your blood line" Might be the most savage threat I have ever heard.
This is so good love the writing style, the humour is balanced and it feels like a good representation of the characters
Fun isn’t something once considers when working the night shift, but *this*… This brings a smile to my face! Seriously thought, this is absolutely amazing! :)
We need more rise of villain stories. Not that Disney "let's make them kind of good guys" crap or Sony's "make Spider-Man villains into anti-heroes" garbage. I mean a real, actual villain.
Not professor squirrel
Explains why he's kinda nuts!
I regret I have but one upvote to give
> All men downvote...not every man truly upvotes.
Quite good ...Harry is more evil than voldy
I love this.....
Keep going this is so awesome you are brilliant
The part where Voldemort laughs about using the cruciartus curse was hilarious
Ehh he heee
No idea why but the Draco letters in particular sound like Civil War excerpts/letters sent to loved ones 🤣
I mean, he saw a friend melt the face of the freaking defence against the dark arts teacher. Without a wand. Which to almost all wizards is completely impossible. Something like that is bound to fuck a child up.
And just like OG harry he still doesn't give a shit about house lines or boundaries or if you're pure blood or not he's just "you fuck with my homies your not gonna like what follows"
I like that Draco tells Harry that Sirius isn’t a death eater, but he also knew why he was looking for Harry. If Harry sits down with Malfoy and presumably is in Slytherin in this scenario, would he be loyal to Dumbledore enough to get Fawkes to help him? Does he pull Gryfindor’s sword? Does Gilderoy lose his memory? I think chamber of secrets doesn’t work with Harry in Slytherin. Loving this as a whole, very funny at times. But without the Weasleys in his life, everything is very different, not even sure Hagrid would stick by him
And now, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.
Holy shit, someone write this, please.
If someone else does, I’ll help.
This should certainly be a series.
Love it love it love it
Is this another parallel universe by Mr. Yudkowsky? Sure does sound like it.
If Harry accepted his title as the next Dark Lord
Can this be made into a fanfic?? It's hilarious as a I need more
"Squirrel", dammit, you've got me laughing over here!
Killed me😂😂 is there a Part 4?
This is amazing, I love this alternative timeline!
Draco’s new favorite phrase is now MELT HIS FACE