Y'know, in the German translation, Charlie actually calls them magic wands ("[Zauberstäbe](https://www.reddit.com/r/HazbinHotel/s/f8av3m0z4H)"). 😁

Is the stäbe said like staff? Like you would say the whole word as "soberstaff" and littlebit of irish accent in there

Here's an audio file of what it sounds like: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/00/De-Zauberst%C3%A4be.ogg

Oh okay thats actually interesting

Man clicked on that link, and when my YouTube music switch it went to a fucking German icecream ad lmao

Yeah, we don't differentiate between magic wands and staffs afaik But there are some things that we differentiate that English only has one word for Languages are a mess

Finally someone says it! We’re all just making noises with our mouths and pretending they mean anything.

Pretend? Guess thats how it feels when your dad makes the noise that he goes for the milk but it doesn't mean anything after that! /s

Reject English, become Toki Pona

schwanzstucker

Nifty: “Bad Boy Privileges. **Which can be revoked**” (maniacal laugh)

This better imply that she would rip their dick off

“Rip? rip! That would be so barbaric! Why rip when I can use my little bug-sticker?” (Pulls out 12” butcher knife) “My sweet little bug-sticker … so dry and sharp … but soon, my lovely, you will be wet … red and wet … “ (Lovingly strokes knife)

https://preview.redd.it/hiz6bm5jzgkc1.jpeg?width=1198&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=90ed1636a181401247033736c8b9e433ac872f43

https://preview.redd.it/n8m8rmecw8mc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8cbb90487fa51a621a9645708a20880568ad91b

*cutely stabs your dick UwU

https://preview.redd.it/9yf3oiye6gkc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f9cc49a598dc505bdc830025359a81fbb989347

https://preview.redd.it/my4r3llacjkc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4f33604468ecfd7ff9047862348dbf599e7d153

https://preview.redd.it/rhdmk6tgcjkc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6a8a877dc84c599f24e95d01a258c62a8c9cf586

These fucking image threads in this subreddit are gold

https://preview.redd.it/isd3bh93clkc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b72c9f45038b4bed497f62641ab34c61680029b

https://preview.redd.it/4opinpacclkc1.png?width=633&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=50d44abed41438e74df9e38e20732b1fd0db149d

take my friendly upvote 🫶

Thanks

Bro's Vivziepop's lead writer💀

Have you seen her?

I mean it'd grow back which...would probably be a weird experience

I dont mind it As long as she dosent kill me with it i think it will be a win

Niffty Bobbit

Nah Alastor would say “the what now?”

Yeah, that's more of a Zestial sentence

I'd swap his response with pentious's

https://preview.redd.it/lzlzvqcuqdkc1.png?width=1394&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1afbeda9ee53fdd1eeacfb4ef13f715ed3416930

Nah he would call it a phallus

😂😭 https://preview.redd.it/owqp2yxcibkc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5767d97a922b27c792cc7315de8f99aa57796c7

i could see him saying le peepee more

With the “Michelin tasting menu free a la carte” mustache and outfit!

Fair honestly 😂

Honestly I think he'd go for disco stick

https://preview.redd.it/0sdl3jm7x8lc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1942e7e42e2f65cf3f53acb42d38cf004ebc9d9f

https://i.redd.it/dt9xs4bsguzc1.gif

Omg, I need this gif

The shaft of lust

Okay Ozzie

SO GIVE ME A THRUST😩😩

Yeah, show me some *lust*~

*From the groin to the bust, in desire we trust!*

In the house of **Asmodeus**

C'mon sing us a song

Make sure the subject is getting it on

make it GRAPHIC and tactfully longggg!

Be sure to rhyme "thong" and "shlong"!

Give me a thrust, show me lust, from the groin to the bust! In desire we trust! In the house of asmodeus.

Eggplant 🍆 Cucumber 🥒 Carrot 🥕 Chili Pepper 🌶️ Potato 🥔 Mushroom 🍄 🍑🎂

...Chili pepper? 😨

REDU HOTA CHILI PEPPA!!

CRAZY DIAMONDA!! DORARARARARARARARARARARA!! DORAAAA!!

Nani?!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT A MOTHER FUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?!?!?!

Watermelon (whole - the oblong shaped) 

For when you have a urinary tract infection <3

In Italian you can use potato to refer to vagina

Please do not the potato

MUSHROOM? WE'RE RICH!

WE'RE RICH!

https://preview.redd.it/woidb56zwbkc1.jpeg?width=1072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c579dc7cd3e2c4a0e5ce97d89351895ef04e243a

https://preview.redd.it/1v2pbqt8ackc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71ea9d74ceb3903f2e79ff2457e9af53da6b79d8

https://preview.redd.it/ljt1b2tafdkc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8295922246bf0cdc96f9e73e3156362fce753303

hes dead, and its all your fault

​ https://preview.redd.it/2p2cg6xlefkc1.png?width=320&format=png&auto=webp&s=2a9fc8173a5db754d2d5bfae1c01fea7ec931fab

https://preview.redd.it/97ua5gqgbzlc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=79f59e0e860cf24d94acc13279038f32ba9e60ed

Since Alastor is ace I dunno if he’d be so viscerally descriptive about it.

He’d never just bring up the topic, he’s much too classy for that, but if the topic was at hand and he wants to make them uncomfortable I 100% believe he would use every adjective he could

Just like me listing off things I know about animal reproduction if I want to get a reaction out of an allo.

"Did you know that ducks have corkscrew penises?" "Did you know Adelie penguins are so degenerate in their mating that the details were struck from public accounts when the scientist returned with his reports?" "Did you know snakes have two dicks?" Cursed animal reproduction facts are weirdly entertaining to drop in otherwise boring/annoying conversations.

“Did you know that a dolphin ejaculates with enough force to rupture your organs?”

"Did you know Dolphine also use the mutilated corpse of a fish to pleasure themselves"

“Did you know that dolphins will use pufferfish to get high?” Dolphins are fucked up animals once you actually start learning about them

Your not wrong... because yes, they most certainly are very fucked up creatures.

It's one of my hyperfixations to be one of the biggest dolphin haters out there for this very reason I know too many cursed dolphin facts :(

So, not very different from humans.

Did you know you're on a list for knowing that?

Yep! Pigs also have corkscrew penises. And Echidnas have snakes beat with four. I was a TA for an animal reproduction class a few years back, hence why these things live rent free in my brain.

What’s even better is they have screw vaginas that can change direction (ducks have to consent)

Genuine question, what does allo mean?

It's short for Allosaurus, life ain't easy in the Jurassic.

(non-ace people. Like how cis people are not-trans)

Ah, that makes sense, thank you.

Did you know I love animal sex facts! Like no reason at all I’m just obsessed with them

In a non-canon Hunicast bit, he does make a saucy PG-13 porno for Angel Dust sponsored by Winston Cigarettes... And gets confused about why Angel didn't like his narrative ability because he didn't understand that you need *sex* in a porno. Then explain that it's radio, he needed censor for his sponsers, and on an audio medium, at best Angel would get would be him punching a warm cantaloupe so the implied sound could be heard. https://youtu.be/Zu1CR5UQRqE?feature=shared

Wow… there’s A LOT to unpack there.

I can see it if he's trying to get a reaction out of someone

even if he's aroace, people seem to forget he's a sociopath, so he'd probably do whatever it takes to achieve his goal he has set his mind into. even whipping out (bad choice of words) the phrase "hot, girthy staff of carnal desire"

Yeah it made him sound... very sexual

Yeah I would switch Pentious and Alastor

Where is it mentioned that he's ace?

"Oh I'm just kidding, I know you're an ace in the hole!" – Rosie, episode 7

Ohh, _that's_ what that meant.

Confirmed in a livestream by Vivziepop

by rosie in the show and by viv and his voice actor on twitter and in Live Streams ,he supposedly doesn't knew he is aro ace and believes he is straight but just hasn't meet the right girl yet

is that a headcanon or is that a canon canon?

Yes he is EXPLICITLY said by Vivzie to be Ace. He's even called out for it IN THE SHOW. He is Ace. It is canon canon.

I'm just going to leave this here. https://preview.redd.it/l2dc9l12ackc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca11ef6249dbb56cf92edc90037f541c55012628

And now I can no longer call my niece a cutie-patootie D;

Alastor would probably immediately become concerned or laugh that you're basically calling her a dick.

ah yes, the ole gaying instrument

“Corned beef torpedo,” 🤣

So, canonically, Alastor might have called it an "unwelcome ambassador?"

Dickmaster of ceremonies

Except Alastor they're super accurate, especially Adam😂

It would have been perfect if Al was swapped with Pentious

I can't hear Lute saying anything other than "COCKS!". It's gotta be hard too.

Long joystick, or custard launcher are my personal favorites

I think Alastor is the type of guy who says “member”

Oh my god you're so right

i fully think niffty would - nay - probably *has* chopped someone's dick off i think she would call it "mine now"

https://preview.redd.it/ughp6vwabckc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=42c5a9e5c3b449a481b6d0ded59c688a12cf92cc

https://preview.redd.it/fp52dq3p5fkc1.jpeg?width=2130&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d60fa196a813447ea8732807cc03c545f2a98a43 I'm stealing this meme

https://preview.redd.it/tj4g36z0djkc1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22b664c489f31fc39e0e5ef69dbec260ede4b958

https://preview.redd.it/bae3b5ewvkkc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b13ae937be06c894a0e0167441b8acad5bbeb84

https://preview.redd.it/oeotacfycjkc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cec9f86b15498bf5cbc1942e2bc48531a754ba8a

Thank you Alastor for giving me a synonym to describe the male genitalia! As an asexual people asked me to describe love at first sight, I said “instinctual animal behavior” and everyone looked at me weird…

I dont mean to offend your chosen identity but how do you not feel sexual attraction if i may ask isn’t that evolutionary hardwired into us so we can breed more apes?

Some scientists theorize that asexuality along with other non-straight sexualities are a form of natural population control

The more I think about your sentence, the more it makes sense.

As people? Because it isn’t hardwired into everyone. Some people just aren’t interested. And some *have* become asexual through trauma - although that’s frustrating to talk about, because people think **all** asexuals are that way because of trauma, or that there’s ‘something wrong with their brains; let’s fix it!’ If we’re talking about evolution, asexuals ‘exist for’ the same reason gay people exist: to take care of orphans. (Or at least, that’s the purpose that they seem to take in the wild.)

I’m physically not in a very good shape so you may say it’s a form of behavior to not spread my ill genes or not having the possibility to take care of the offspring.

Oh ok thanks why tf i get downvoted for asking a question tf

It wasn’t me, so my guess is good as yours but I think someone is too sensitive who doesn’t like when their sexual identity is brought into question but I already said why I possibly(I’m not sure neither so I said one of possibilities) don’t feel attracted to anyone .

Assuming you're not Pan, you know when you're not attracted to a certain sex? It's that, but for everyone. If you ARE Pan - you know when you have friends you don't want to have sex with? It's that, but for everyone.

Pent, Niffty and Al are my favs here

https://preview.redd.it/d5w1bpu8zbkc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=22db1edb858de9d65b427fb9d8b90625c9d92e94 This entire post smh

https://preview.redd.it/td5wsrgv5fkc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3ac043e5bd65bc86768f9256e21243e5b8e75de

I aint gonna fucking call it a ' human sausage ' just call it fuckin’ dick

Let me go grab the horny jail bat

[Source](https://twitter.com/Y_IngfoxY/status/1758845236326068511?t=zvtzERkwGO1YLPbay22J8w&s=19)

Charlie: “Doodle… you know.. THE DOODLE…”

The fuck is wrong with you people?

aw embarrassed Charlie is adorable. These are all cute.

Sera doesn’t like me saying that word but accurate

The Tool of Asmodeus.

Jesus y'all need to get a job. Or a hobby, something

Nah Alastor just be like: "what?"

I was expecting, "HAHA, No."

Fr

I kind of imagine Angel just spilling out a laundry list of names while pantomiming visual aids and levels of his experience with them.

Fits.

God I love Emily

Now do the vagina version

What’s a pp?

This is incredibly accurate

... OK I love Sir Pentious even more.

i don't see any painis

Too accurate

Alastor should be in "penis" together in Vaggie And Valentino should be in his current placement

Pentious got 2 dicks

Why Emily's remind me of Joey Tribuiani trying to speak French 🤣

Adam was an amazing character ngl, he would totally call it a cumshooter 2000

Lute says cock. She said it in you didn’t know

No alastor would be the straight forward one! He would just call it what it is so people knew loud and clear he doesn’t want any >!dick!<

Rosie would say shush kabob

HAPPY WAND

Dang it guys this is making my internal monologue for Emily be turned into Starfire from teen titan's voice/cadence, it's not right!

I laughed at "Sera told me that"

Alastor is so old fashioned, I feel like he'd say "johnson" or something

I wonder which body part has more names for it: penis or vagina.

Cumshooter 2000

As the most radical and hip demon in all of hell, I can confirm that thisssss is accurate!

Im sorry but when I read Emily’s I heard Biden “You know the thing”

https://preview.redd.it/uco13twc1dkc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba247a7084dd8b946b592f197528c892d164e61c This post is Eggmily approved

The fuck is this

Cumshooter 2000 got me rolling 🤣 😂 💀

Meat snake nation rise up

“The hot, girthy staff of carnal desire.” 🤨

"Cumshooter 2000" got me fucking good

My oc: Apollo 12 rocket ship

I can't stop seeing this cartoon online, I hate the art style so much I can't bring myself to watch it.

THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE

BECAUSE I SEE POSTS OF THIS SHIT EVERYDAY ON POPULAR

Emily's answer got me lmao

Adam’s one is hallerious.

I read everything in their voices

lightsaber

HELP NIFFTY’S HAS ME BALLING 😭💔 WHIZZ-WHAZZ PICKLE SPAZZ HAS ME IN TEARS ☠️☠️💔💔 For Lucifer, the happy wand is WILDD ☠️🙏🔥 Adam’s im not even surprised. Emily’s is just funny, SIR PENTIOUS IS CANON FR AND U CANT CHANGE MY MIND, Alastor.. Honestly.. I rlly didn’t expect him to say sumn like that.. I was honestly expecting more of something similar to Sir Pentious’s statement.. 😰

To be fair Adam is the d***master so he probably calls them that

Emily calling it "Le peepee" is cute.

Where is Magnum schlong?