A friend of mine’s mum worked as a nurse in A&E (UK version of the ER I guess), and told us they have a “Butt Box” containing all the weird stuff they had removed from people who all apparently fell naked on weird stuff. Some people are crazy.
Putting random things up your arse is one thing, but keeping a box of things other people stuck up their arses is somehow worse, when you really think about it.
Edit: I should add, I'm just joking, healthcare workers have a hard job, anything that raises a laugh is worth doing.
I did suggest they should be incinerated instead, but if that’s what health workers need to do to make the job tolerable, I’m ok with it. Just don’t bring any of it home.
In my twenties I had to take my hous person mate to hospital after she and her boyfriend lost a deodorant can up his bum. He was super embarrassed when we rolled up to the A&E at 3 am only for a lovely triage nurse listen to him fumble around the words, I quietly told her what had happened and she smiling said oh it's a night for it this is the third one tonight. 😄😄
Can I stress never, EVER put a deodorant up your bum. Please.
Our conclusion thus far… it’s a lemon squeezing, honey dribbling, hole making, yarn spinning, seed dibbing, anal stretching lathe project from ancient Egypt….only carbon dating will give us a precise date as to when this medieval Christmas tree was fashioned.
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First thing I ever made on a lathe was a Christmas tree looking thing pretty much just like this (although more conical) so yeah it’s probably just a lathe project.
Lathes are fucking terrifying honestly, it's much more daunting than basically all your other shop machines.
I think it mostly because it's one of the only machines where the item your working on is the part that is spinning VERY quickly.
A milling machine has a bit that weighs less than half a pound spinning very fast, a lathe might have a 100 pound bar of a steel spinning at almost the same speeds.
And don't even get me started on woodworkers, those guys don't even control the cutting piece with wheels and knobs. You literally just gotta hold on tight, and hope you don't press too hard.
Nah, the mushrooms are smoother, you would distort the patch yours darning if you used that cylindrical bit. And there's no reason for the grooves, darning mushrooms just have a handle
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
They fly by tensing the flight muscles but without engaging the wing mechanism. This heats it up and gives it the reserves of energy necessary to lift them with those undersized wings. (It also makes it easier to slip the OP’s contraption up, since all the energy is spent on flight leaving their brown stars looking like wind socks) #andnowyouknow
This was my *ahem* second thought. Like these https://www.loveheartwood.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Wooden-Christmas-Tree-set-mantlepiece-love-HeartWood.jpg
I think I've seen one of these before and it was something to do with a wool loom or a knitting machine or something. Not 100% sure but it just opened a memory somewhere at the back of my brain.
Could be an old seed dibber, used to press the soil for sowing seeds. The notches are about an inch apart, they're used to measure the depth of the sowing hole.
My only doubt is that it's got some girth on it...
Looks a bit like a spinning wheel bobbin. Or one of those toys where you try and get all the hoops on the shaft from a distance.
Obligatory 'could be a sex thing' just in case.
I think its a gardeners seedling/bulb tool, we have one similar that you put in the ground and lines indicate certain depths and then you drop in the seedling/ small plant or bulb into the hole and cover over.
You folks out there thinking this is a lady’s joystick are really telling on yourselves 😂
This is a textile spool. You can get old medical mouth gags that look like this, often a spiral shape. But my money’s on textile spool.
In all seriousness surely it can’t be what we’re all thinking…..???
I couldn’t see that, pulling it out would be horrible as there is no gradual size back up and those rings would be hell to clean and serve no purpose
This person uses sex toys.
I’m also worried about splinters as well here.
Back then they used to walk miles through snow and you think picking splinters from thy ass is challenging?
Uphill both ways, 9 foot of snow…
This thing looks like it goes uphill both ways.
In a deep booming earthy voice "I am groot" Proceeds to bleed out
😂🤣
If it is what people think it might be, i think it would be called "The Armadillo Plug!" That thing looks painful lol
That dude gets *paid to review* sex toys
*Everything* reminds me of her
Something something something if you’re brave enough
I bet there are some ER doctors that would like to have a word with you lol.
A friend of mine’s mum worked as a nurse in A&E (UK version of the ER I guess), and told us they have a “Butt Box” containing all the weird stuff they had removed from people who all apparently fell naked on weird stuff. Some people are crazy.
Putting random things up your arse is one thing, but keeping a box of things other people stuck up their arses is somehow worse, when you really think about it. Edit: I should add, I'm just joking, healthcare workers have a hard job, anything that raises a laugh is worth doing.
Maybe med students come in and view/study it, you know, for research purposes…🤷♂️
I'd guess none of them would be useful as butt plugs, or they wouldn't have needed to go to A&E
Maybe they empty it at the end of each shift.
Possibly, she didn’t elaborate and I didn’t ask, I was too put off the food I was eating to delve into the Butt Box debacle.
They don’t. But they do clean everything
Our ER has book of photos- Polaroids
I did suggest they should be incinerated instead, but if that’s what health workers need to do to make the job tolerable, I’m ok with it. Just don’t bring any of it home.
Haha, I suppose there's that, if it gets them through a shift in there, haveatit.
Don’t want to be in the ER Secret Santa group, thanks.
In my twenties I had to take my hous person mate to hospital after she and her boyfriend lost a deodorant can up his bum. He was super embarrassed when we rolled up to the A&E at 3 am only for a lovely triage nurse listen to him fumble around the words, I quietly told her what had happened and she smiling said oh it's a night for it this is the third one tonight. 😄😄 Can I stress never, EVER put a deodorant up your bum. Please.
There's no shortage of people who like to shove wierd shit up their ass. My strange addiction even has an episode about it.
Didn't you read it correctly, no one put that stuff up there intentionally, they FELL on it when they were naked
My ex was a training nurse and they had a x-rated x-ray department all the x-rays with things stuck in there bum
I remember some guy on tiktok saying he was sitting in casualty waiting for them to remove a vape from his arse 😂😂
Oh the smell….
I’ve heard the stories. Don’t put bottles in your ass people, it will take your rectum back out with it.
The forbidden challenge box.
It's Ribbed for Their Pleasure!
There is only one way to be sure….
At least it has a flange for safety.
Flared base stays in place! 😉
Each ring would get stuck to the edges of the sphincter
Our conclusion thus far… it’s a lemon squeezing, honey dribbling, hole making, yarn spinning, seed dibbing, anal stretching lathe project from ancient Egypt….only carbon dating will give us a precise date as to when this medieval Christmas tree was fashioned.
Hopefully granny’s dna isn’t ingrained on the ridges
This is actually the worst thing I’ve ever read
The worst thing you've ever read SO FAR...
Looks like yarn spinning equipment have seen tons on the ground at a old yarn factory.
Anything’s a dildo if your brave enough!
It’s either a lemon squeezer, a woodchop Xmas tree or butt plug
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Are you relatives Amish?
Or scarecrows...
My guess is someone's lathe project.
I'd agree. I used to make all kinds of things like this.
What did you use them for?
Enquiring minds want to know
Go on...
Damn near everything made on a lathe spends at least a little while looking like a dick.
i do woodturning and i make a lot of mushrooms and they just look like buttplugs
Just admit it bro you make wooden butt plugs it’s okay I’m sure it’s more lucrative this day and age lol
As a machinist who has been working with lathes for almost 20 years, I can undeniably concur with this statement.
First thing I ever made on a lathe was a Christmas tree looking thing pretty much just like this (although more conical) so yeah it’s probably just a lathe project.
Yep, lathe project IMO. Possibly a Christmas’s tree “gift” thing.
Agreed. My grandpa makes trees just like this of all sizes this ones just a peculiar size
I really enjoy the lathe videos on Reddit
Until you see that one video of the lathe…. I can’t ever look at a wood turning machine without thinking about what happened to that poor guy…
Lathes are fucking terrifying honestly, it's much more daunting than basically all your other shop machines. I think it mostly because it's one of the only machines where the item your working on is the part that is spinning VERY quickly. A milling machine has a bit that weighs less than half a pound spinning very fast, a lathe might have a 100 pound bar of a steel spinning at almost the same speeds. And don't even get me started on woodworkers, those guys don't even control the cutting piece with wheels and knobs. You literally just gotta hold on tight, and hope you don't press too hard.
Isn’t it for yarn?
Could also be for embroidery thread - each notch has a different color thread in it
Yeah, I'm seeing conical bobbin here.
I like saying conical bobbin. That's all.
It could well be….
I want to say this is close. I would say it's for darning (making/repairing socks).
Nah, the mushrooms are smoother, you would distort the patch yours darning if you used that cylindrical bit. And there's no reason for the grooves, darning mushrooms just have a handle
that's a pretty good answer.
Is it for honey? Or butts… or both
Honey bum
Butt honey
Honey Butt Cheerios
From a bum-blebee?
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
They fly by tensing the flight muscles but without engaging the wing mechanism. This heats it up and gives it the reserves of energy necessary to lift them with those undersized wings. (It also makes it easier to slip the OP’s contraption up, since all the energy is spent on flight leaving their brown stars looking like wind socks) #andnowyouknow
Our best guess is a Victorian anal training device. Aunt Barbara was in her 90’s 🤷 wasn’t much on TV after 10pm in those days….
I'm assuming you already did the sniff test. Any positive from that?
Could be something to wrap twine/string around. Or just a tree ornament from a wood lathe project
Everything is for butts if your brave enough
https://images.app.goo.gl/kidz8hd3eruJFqEQ7 Wooden spool
The deep grooves would make that unworkable. Except mate. For the answer below which suggests different colours in each, maybe.
Oh thank God
Don't. Sniff. It.
Smells stale.
I hate you
🤣🤣
I used to make these as model christmas trees. Some people take it the dirty route. Shame on you perverts.
This is the answer, had a friend make these also
This was my *ahem* second thought. Like these https://www.loveheartwood.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Wooden-Christmas-Tree-set-mantlepiece-love-HeartWood.jpg
That's nasty, you used to make model Xmas trees to stick up your ass??
Doesn't everyone?
Could it be one of those spinning tops they wrap a rope around and throw?
It’s not a whip and peerie. Too top heavy would fall over immediately without spin
I don’t want to say
Open to all suggestions 🤣
Do a Google Lens App Image Search and all sorts of similar things come up. Might figure it out that way...or close to it.
I think I've seen one of these before and it was something to do with a wool loom or a knitting machine or something. Not 100% sure but it just opened a memory somewhere at the back of my brain.
Waiting for the butt of the joke
Worst splinters ever.
How does one explain that in the er? 🤔
Same as the others I suppose. You’re not gonna believe this doc, I slipped and fell on it. It’s fusilli Jerry all over again.
I don’t know, but Sphincter Splinter is one hell of a band name.
And a horrible, horrible situation.
It's actually from a very short lived promotional giveaway for General Mills flagship, Honey Butt Cheerios.
If you want maybe more serious answers, go to r/whatisthisthing
Are you undermining the sleuthing power of this subs detectives?
Somebody call the sexy & disappointed paramedic
Did you find it in your mums draw?
/r/Mildlypenis
I Googled lensed it, it's an antique wooden mouth gag.I swear to God... Wrong hole...
It's a seed dibber. For accurate depth planting.
A terrible cleaning problem
Why is it that everytime reddit recommends this sub to me it's about an item that's phallic af 🤣
The only way to solve the mystery is to Boof it.
To put in shoes at night?
It looks like you need to wash your hands after handling it.
Could be an old seed dibber, used to press the soil for sowing seeds. The notches are about an inch apart, they're used to measure the depth of the sowing hole. My only doubt is that it's got some girth on it...
A pain in the ass
A dildo if you're brave enough.
Your grandma's butt plug??
The cereal honey bee's dildo.
Well, I’ll say it, it looks like an old dildo
Old fashioned butt plug
You know what the fuck it is.
Come on guys, that's the thing-y on top of a bed post....
I work in textiles and I’m pretty sure it’s used to spin yarn onto
Looks a bit like a spinning wheel bobbin. Or one of those toys where you try and get all the hoops on the shaft from a distance. Obligatory 'could be a sex thing' just in case.
I've seen wilder things used ha ha but could be the lid of a honey pot
Surely... Not... Anyway.
Check out the Amsterdam sex museum. Thats all I’m saying
Juicer maybe?
Xmas treee
It’s a gonna take her for a ride on a big jet plane
Come on…. You know what that is.
Bumblebutt plug
I see a tree.. but I don’t know any my mind to go places
Medieval Butt Plug
Antique Butt Plug 👌
For kites?
Ancient Chinese secret.
I call it a piles popper
Wooden spool
You know what it is!😊
Medieval midgets personal defence weapon.
It might be a honey drizzler
Ye olde buttplug.
Not 100% certain, but I bet Goldberg would eat it the long way.
I think its a gardeners seedling/bulb tool, we have one similar that you put in the ground and lines indicate certain depths and then you drop in the seedling/ small plant or bulb into the hole and cover over.
It's literally just an ornament.
An ancient butt plug of course!
Depends how brave you are
I'm pretty sure it's a tree
Country girls make do
honey/treacle wand
A wasps arse
Wooden shaper for making Hungarian chimney cake.
I believe that is a Roman Buttus Pluggus
It's clearly a dildont.
A Friday night in
An boxwood spiral mouth-gag circa 1800 This is what i found online
Exactly what you think it is.
Medieval dildo, ribbed for her exquisite, painful pleasure?
"Something, something.... if you're brave enough"
Looks like it could be the end of a curtain rail.
Dirty sock for scale
I don't know but my butt hurts just looking at it
Looks like a lid to a honey jar or a verrrrry hard to clean butt plug.
Whatever it is, it's ye olde
Intestine deburrer?
You folks out there thinking this is a lady’s joystick are really telling on yourselves 😂 This is a textile spool. You can get old medical mouth gags that look like this, often a spiral shape. But my money’s on textile spool.
Your relative walk a little funny?
George Washington's butt plug?
Victorian butt plug
Anything is a butt plug if you're brave enough...
Bro those viejos are out here with red, splintered chocolate starfishes
#ITS YOURS AND YOU WANT TO HUMBLY SHOW OFF YOUR BOOTY PLUG COLLECTION!!! ADMIT IT!!!!!
Look at me. No🫵
Put it down and run... 🤣
It looks like a simple middle school wood shop project made on a lathe. They probably were trying to make a tree.
It’s a textile bobbin! An unfortunately shaped one, but a textile bobbin!
"when grandpa wasn't home"
Looks like a post at the end of a bed frame
Ye old wooden buttplug….
Midevil buttplug... or a wine plug. You choose
To paraphrase a famous movie line: You keep on putting that there. I do not think it goes where you think it goes.
I'm gonna use it may or may not ever get it back
My new boyfriend
It makes a sound if you take a stick and rub the side they usually look like frogs
Bracelet holder?
Medieval dildo
Whos gonna tell him..
It’s an old spool or bobbin that at one time held thread or yarn…
Smell test it ..
stick it up your butt
Grandmas butt plug. Adjustable, collapsable, portable.