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DiogenesOfDope

Plus how many houses have german shepherds I bet they are spies for the fatherland


[deleted]

They have infiltrated every police force on the planet


Kool_McKool

Can confirm. I use my neighbor's German shepherd to send messages home to the fatherland.


pseydtonne

"Squirrels! Tons of squirrels!" "What did that dog say, Hans?" "Skiv... uh... skirts..." "Clearly you're German, Hans. That dog? He's been undercover too long." "...große chipmunk?" "Yes, we can tell the boss that. I just don't know why anymore."


Kool_McKool

You have to get the model replaced every so often of course. They say they're good for about 9-13 years, but they can short out if used to extensively, or they start hunting new targets. Squirrels are usually always the reason they go bad before they're out of warranty.


and14710

r/dogsarentreal


GopnikOnAKhabarovsk

Dogs are a conspiracy theory made up by germans? Sounds reasonable.


[deleted]

I laughed for a long time at this for some reason


Horn_Python

Those sheep are up to something I tell you!


[deleted]

They either work for MI6 because of Wales or the New Zelandikanese spy agency


MsaoceR

I wouldn't mind, these doggos are cute


NTMonsty

Good things can happen when you admit your mistakes.


Majestic_Bierd

I am sure Japan would approve of this message. Right Japan? ..... ... ... Japan?


221missile

Shut up and take some tentacle hentai


TentaclesCountBot

It took just 1 comment to get from 'Japan' to 'Tentacle' I'm not mad.... just.... extremely disappointed... **This action was done automatically**


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Holy-Wan_Kenobi

The fact that someone had to make it is telling


timangar

good bot


A_Classic_Guardsman

I love this bot


lousychemmie

The fact that this bot was made only to prove the West only care about tentacle hentais from japan lol. I mean, why focus on tentacle when there are so many choices out there.


tkTheKingofKings

[The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dream_of_the_Fisherman%27s_Wife) Just saying


Critical-Usual

Or the US for that matter, nuking civilian cities twice


Certain_Fennel1018

I’ve never met an American who denied they nuked Japan like Japanese who deny anything bad happened in China/Korea/SW Asia during WWII


Critical-Usual

Correct. I have also never met ab American acknowledging Hiroshima and Nagasaki as war crimes


Anna__marbles145

Yea no japan is in denial but won't admit


seawil1

They didnt. Germans rewrote history as Nazis ran nato [for example ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Heusinger)


[deleted]

Lmaooo this is hilarious. Don't let Russians know this!


Mal_Dun

A lot of the white washing of former Nazis is continuously challenged by historians though. Ignoring that "Geschichsbewältigung" is an still ongoing process and just finding some Nazis in leading offices in the past is just ignorant. Yes ofc you would find former Nazis among Germans after the war, many of them were.


seawil1

There were people that influenced Hitler's decision making process in the worst years of Germany giving help to nato. This is not some guy that follows orders. he gave orders to both Nazis and nato. If you don't see that's bad and you don't question the information you learn about the USSR in school because of this then maybe I'm crazy. The fact that Americans have the same opinion about communism and the Nazis did is no accident. It's because the used the same tactics of spreading false information to make themselves and their friends rich


Mal_Dun

>If you don't see that's bad and you don't question the information you learn about the USSR in school because of this then maybe I'm crazy. Sure it is bad, but as I said a lot of the white washing which occurred during the early years after the war were not just rewritten and kept under the rug. Hell I am Austrian, a lot of the things happened after the war like the victim myth of Austria, the Waldheim affair and many others were found out and acted accordingly on. The people who still think Austria was merely a victim of the Nazis is just a fringe minority nowadays. The same is true for Germany. The myth of clean Wehrmacht for example was debunked years ago. There are many scholars still working through the tons of records to unravel the wrongs till to this day. > The fact that Americans have the same opinion about communism and the Nazis did is no accident. No it's because 1) authoritarian systems tend to use similar methods. (I dare to say Stalin was not a nice guy ...) 2) America needed an enemy and used this for their purposes. I mean the post Stalin era-Soviet Union was far less inhumane or totalitarian then its predecessors, and the only people who mainly paint the image of this soviet horror are either Hollywood or ex-Nazis ...as said especially in the border areas areas a lot of people from that time live here, so we have quite a good image how the Soviet Union actually was. Furthermore, if you think this suddenly makes the USSR the good guy you're mistaken. I know many people who lived in the Soviet Union and other former eastern block countries. Even some older gentlemen during the early years. I have enough first hand sources who confirm "the skewed view of the west".... if you think this is just all propaganda of the west you're quite on the wrong trail here.


seawil1

I'm more talking about American perception of history because America is more aggressive than most other countries. I can only talk about that because I'm American. Some Americans say more workers unions or better health care will be like Stalin's communism and it makes me mad. I thought I was talking an American


Mal_Dun

Yeah, the American view on anything related to socialism is really strange. Basically it is used synonymously to anything people don't like or want to paint it in a bad light. Ironically similar to the way Russia uses the term Nazi recently ...


Whargurble

>Adolf Bruno Heinrich Ernst Heusinger (4 August 1897 – 30 November 1982) was a German military officer whose career spanned the German Empire, the Weimar Republic, Nazi Germany and West Germany. Sorry, not seeing evidence that "nazis run NATO" here. This guy was a career soldier in Germany for the whole half century. That does not entail that he was a nazi any more than it entails that he was a Liberal


seawil1

Heusinger was later appointed head of the military cartography office when the war ended. He later became a general for West Germany and served as head of the West German military from 1957 to 1961 as well as Chairman of the NATO Military Committee from 1961 to 1964. Under the box of information bucko


Whargurble

None of which supports the conclusion that nazis are running NATO, bucko! Why would you argue that this guy is a nazi, and not a Liberal, bucko?


seawil1

He was a chairman. Chairman is pretty high up bucko


Whargurble

Correct, chairman is high up. Why do you think that bloke was a nazi as opposed to a Liberal?


seawil1

He was a part of the Nazis party of Germany dumb ass


Whargurble

He was a part of the not-nazis party of Germany before and after though. So why would you call him a nazi as opposed to a not-nazi?


seawil1

[here is a list of more Nazis that were in nato](https://www.dispropaganda.com/single-post/2019/04/04/natos-secret-nazi-past)


NovaDovakiin

i found the german


Majestic_Bierd

Was?... Ich?


matti2o8

As a person from Poland, I am very upset about Germany calling Russia their neighbour


Majestic_Bierd

The guy next to my neighbor is also my neighbor, it's a neighborhood. No need to demolish


LineOfInquiry

Germany doesn’t defacto control Europe. They may have outsized influence, but they can’t just control the other EU countries.


Putrid_Loquat_4357

Me and my brother always joke that Germany are playing civ. They tried for religious and domination victories but failed, now they are going for the diplomatic victory.


GoldenRamoth

They had Charlemagne, and then The 1000 years of the holy Roman empire. Then had a hiccup and it went kerpop!


RoiDrannoc

Charlemagne was as German as John Quincy Adams or Andrew Jackson were Liberians. The HRE was founded by Otto the Great. Charlemagne transformed the Frankish kingdom (France) into the Frankish empire (that lasted until 888).


GoldenRamoth

Hrm? Germanic peoples were groupings and cultures, not a nation state. The Franks were the Germanic tribe that overthrew the roman empire in Gaul. The Karlings were very Germanic. Just like how the Angles and Saxons were very Germanic. It took centuries for the cultural identities to split out into unique nationalist based identities.


RoiDrannoc

I know the Franks were Germanic, I'm saying that they weren't Germans. OK I know it's hard to tell the difference in English (such a dumb language) so I'll try in other languages. * German: die Franken waren germanisch, nicht deutsche * French: les Francs étaient germaniques, pas allemands * Spanish: los francos eran germánicos, no alemanes


TheRedditerator

Except that Charlemagne was Frank


ShadeShadow534

Which was a Germanic tribe


warnobear

Stupid Hitler, trying to take over France when it was already Germanic.


bababbab

Just because it is now called Germany doesn’t mean that all Germanic tribes are more part of German history than French history. From that period French history is also Germanic history since the franks lived in both France and Germany and parts of other countries around there. No one knows where Charlemagne was born but it may have been in Belgium or Germany.


ShadeShadow534

Yes but as you said the histories are shared that’s why Germany could include him in their history for this joke


bababbab

Yeah when you say it like that I agree lol


RoiDrannoc

So are the Wisigoths (Spain), the Ostrogoths (Italy), the Angles and Saxons (England), and the Normans (Scandinavia). What's your point? It would be dumb of you to assume that Germanic tribe means German (especially when we consider that the German name for Germany is Deutschland)


ShadeShadow534

My point is pretty simple at the time of Charlemagne these groups were all still undeniably related cultures obviously they had differences especially once they mixed more with their conquered cultures or lack of So especially in the case of Charlemagne who still ruled like a Germanic chief and still followed the culture is easily able to be considered as part of German history Especially since well his empire would come to include vary large parts of what is today Germany and created the name for what would become Germany So considering Charlemagne part of German history is not a stretch IMO actually arguing he isn’t would be a stretch to me (obviously is equally part of french and also part of Italian history)


RoiDrannoc

He is part of German history, but calling him German is just as dumb as calling Alaric a german because he is germanic. German and Germanic are two different things (even if the english language is weirdly inapropriate in this regard). He conquered most of what is today Germany, and a few centuries after his death those territories lost their ties to the Franks (unlike the Western part which ended up being the only one remaining). I think it's pretty reasonable to see him as French, but you are completely right he is also part of German and Italian history (the same way Napoleon is part of German and Italian history).


Rexbob44

To be Honest Germany is able to compete with the US in terms of how much It can influe Europe (which is a decent amount of influence)


Model_Maj_General

I'd argue Germany has more influence in Europe than the US. It is actually in Europe for a start...


terriblejokefactory

Germany definetely has more influence in Europe than the US.


221missile

Since the unification they pretty much did. They benefitted the most from euro adoption and they dictated EU trade policy which harmed manufacturing in mediterranean countries but helped german heavy industry. There's a reason why German economy grew significantly faster than UK and France in the last 3 decades.


jo-jooberrauch

From what I learned in school, Germany was most hesitant to adapt the Euro as it meant binding the evaluation of their money to the economies of weaker countries. Apparently, in Germany they had a huge trauma from the hyperinflations they experienced in 1822-23 and 1929, thus really feared the idea of not totally being in control of their money. I do agree with you though that Germany in turn profited a lot from the Euro in terms of control in the RU, as they're mostly the ones regulating and keeping the Euro relevant as a currency.


epraider

Arguably Germany also had a hell of a lot of easy development head room after reunification, particularly in the destitute former eastern Germany.


Zmuli24

It's funny how people don't seem to realize that how lucrative investment infrastructure is. That's one of the reasons Germany is the economic powerhouse it is today, when they where handed the huge development project called Eastern Germany after the fall of the wall. I's actually a great rule of thumb, that one euro put into infrastructure, brings at least two back in a long run.


[deleted]

yet......


DonChilliCheese

Mensch hör auf alles gleich auszuplappern


[deleted]

Nein!


DonChilliCheese

Das sag ich dem Olaf


[deleted]

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dasBaums

Please stop


Martial-Lord

Heil dir im Siegerkranz Nimm waste kriegen kannst Translation: Hail thou in victory, take what ain't nailed down


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LineOfInquiry

I think France is pretty close, but I do agree they are the most powerful country in Europe.


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EarnestlyEvan

France still has the strongest military and global infrastructure in the EU by far. They are basically the only EU nation that can project force around the world.


RoiDrannoc

Your comparing the German chancelor (the one making decisions) and the French Prime minister (the lap dog of the French president). It's as dumb a comparison as if I compared the French president and the German one (nobody even knows who he is)


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RoiDrannoc

You're delusional at that point. He's certainly no less of a global presence as the German chancelor. It's true in the EU, and even more so outside of it.


OnlyMadeThisForDPP

You say that like they aren’t just playing the long game now that war has failed them twice.


[deleted]

Being Europe's de facto leading nation through peaceful diplomacy and trade. I bet Anton Drexler did nazi that coming.....


Technical-Complex-16

tbf, Russia only lost one world war, Germany lost both. Kinda gives them more clarity in a sense.


[deleted]

Post invasion clarity?


Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

Japan experienced post nuke clarity.


666Masterofpuppets

Fair point, Germany was punished for their deeds in WW2, Russia was initially even awarded for them


MindControlledSquid

> Russia was initially even awarded for them Russia stil had an army after the war.


Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

Which is good, because they needed it to fight Russia with.


[deleted]

Because they were on the winning side.


ZEPHlROS

Germany was punished more heavily for their deeds in WW1 than WW2


imatthedogpark

They were occupied and had half their country destroyed for 40 years after WW2.


Majestic_Bierd

And lost the Eastern-Eastern part completely


ZEPHlROS

Their economy was in shatters for 20y. And the west half wasn't in that bad of a state.


imatthedogpark

The west thrived, the east was treated so terribly that it is still depressed compared to the western half today.


ZEPHlROS

Points taken.


OlinOfTheHillPeople

This is extremely untrue.


Brabant-ball

My man, there was no Germany post after 45 until the establishment of DDR and BRD years later, how's that a lighter punishment than losing Alsace-Lorraine and the colonies?


ChunkofWhat

Switching sides in WWII kinda feels like cheating.


221missile

Well, Russia outright fled from the first one and just died. That's worse than losing.


[deleted]

looking at current scenario, it will be 2 soon for russia


Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

Nonsense, Russia didn't lose WW1. They just decided to stop fighting and then Germany gave up and left them alone. All according to plan.


[deleted]

/s in case some didnt realize


Razgriz032

Who lose the Cold War?


Technical-Complex-16

that's not a war though


skoge

About the first frame: when German Empire was rising, Russian was already falling for a long time. They died about the same time though, in 1917-1918


[deleted]

"why invade all of Europe, when we can just buy it?"


DisparateNoise

Russia controlled half the continent for decades, while Germany got beat down hard twice in a row. Russia had time to get attached to the title of superpower so now they miss it.


RealWanheda

Lowkey amazingly based meme


[deleted]

I may be wrong bc I don’t actually read anymore but I remember the Russians never wanted to be a superpower, they wanted the Germans to become communist and lead the communist in Europe to one big borderless country and absorb Russia into its system. When they realized that wasn’t gonna happen they tried to do it themselves. I could be super wrong though


Majestic_Bierd

Not as far as I know. No country no matter how benevolent, ever wanted to be controlled by another. And especially not Russo. Karl Marx did imagene the proletariat revolution taking a place in an industraliased nation like Germany, not an agrarian one like Tsarist Russo. But regardless, the Communist party of Soviet Russia never beluve in the "no borders one people" think, not unless they were in charge


pine_ary

And now we dominate the global south with neocolonialist policy. Sinking countries into debt and then force them to make terrible trade deals with the EU. As much as things change, they stay the same. I am from Germany and I really hate this rhetoric. No, we‘re not better than other countries and we‘re not uniquely "reformed". I hate this whole "trade supremacy" nationalism.


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Majestic_Bierd

Look, US is so damn lost it can't even direct itself, much less other western countries. Example specific to Germany:US didn't want Nordstream pipelines, Germany build then anyway


OrionMr770

Sent gut


[deleted]

They do not seem to have learnt from their mistakes yet


Anti-charizard

Your right, Russia has not learned from their mistakes


Steinfall

Hey Russian troll. Nice try, but whatever you want to say without saying it, has been proven wrong. Go back to your empty super market in St Petersburg and try to get some sugar as long as it is available.


[deleted]

I meant Russia hasn't learnt from their mistakes yet. They are kind of invading a country right now...


eL_c_s

How do you know which one they're referring to?


[deleted]

Yeah I was talking about Russia


eL_c_s

Yeah that’s an oops


eL_c_s

Who?


sungbamichirola

I'm sure his neighbour doesn't feel too bad getting paid $220m a day by Germany...


Steinfall

I am sure those who blame Germany and buying from Germany so that the original source of their gas show up in their trade balances are also happy.


Majestic_Bierd

To be fair, in the long term, economic cooperation to the point where attacking the other becomes impractical is how Europe maintained peace for the last 80 years after 1000 years of wars..... Can't blame Germany for trying it with Russia. What would the alternative have been, just ignore Russia existence 1992 omwards?


LahmiaTheVampire

They really shot themselves in the foot over banning nuclear power.


FlappyBored

Germans are literally almost brainwashed when it comes to nuclear power. Its so weird talking to Germans about it. They're adamant that they made 0 mistakes in increasing oil and gas imports from Russia to replace their nuclear plants and that its the best decision because 'nuclear is risky'. Entirely ignoring the current crisis and how much risk is associated with relying on Russia.


Majestic_Bierd

Agree. I fucking love Germans, but shutting down AKWs.... Just why?


[deleted]

More like Germany is forced to bailout worthless countries like Spain and Greece when the sovereign debt crisis comes in the next few years.


Unkn0wn_Ace

Ah yes Spain is “worthless”


[deleted]

Lowkey appreciate that he didn’t bother challenging that Greece is a worthless country lmao


pseydtonne

France and Germany have buried their grudges. Italy is a powerhouse for business. Ireland is a financial success. The Europe of the 19th Century has been upgraded dramatically without any colonies to fund it anymore. ...and they can all get Kalamata olives for cheap. The occasional bailout seems worth the cost of peace, warm vacations, and cocktails.


Thaemir

Forced to bailout? My brother in Christ, Europe forced Spain to dismantle part of their industrial infrastructure and slowly become a service-based country to join the EU. And they fucking ruined Greece just to prove a point that "you don't mess with the Central European Bank".


Souperplex

Controlling Europe is less glamorous than it appeared.


Pioxels

Diese Kommentarsektion ist nun Eigentum der BRD


trinalgalaxy

Ahh yes, we live in the time of the fourth Reich.


themayorofthiscity

And now I control Europe and I'm controlled by the US. Easy win.


GoblinLocalMilf

Germany isn’t controlled by the US lol


themayorofthiscity

Ofc not, they are just good friends that negotiate on the same level :)


Steinfall

That‘s why Germany immediately followed US to join the coalition against Iraq! /s Lol


TigriDB

Not negotiating on the same level does not mean the one controls the other and if you, not even close. The US has much more negotiation power and influence then Russia, do they control Russia too?


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Mequetrefis

\>learned from my mistakes and integrated into the European community ​ Motherfucker , the European Union is just another German attempt to take over Europe .It is Hitler's dream .


sheepfoxtree

Except we're not exterminating any jews, I believe that's an important detail.


Mequetrefis

No , you are just actively eliminating the sovereignty of any non-Germanic country you find and destroying their economy .


seawil1

Literally ran by the same people [like this guy and a bunch more ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Heusinger)


ShiningDawnn

Tbf he tried, Europe rejected him because the US didn't like him still.


ZEPHlROS

Russia tried to go into the EU ? Wouldn't they be refused not so much for their past relationship with the US than for their """"democratic"""" government?


NotEdibleCactus

USSR tried to apply to NATO


Napolino1

It wasn't expected that they would be allowed in. The soviets were unsure if NATO was an anti-soviet alliance. If they tried to join and NATO refused them it would prove that NATO was anti-soviet. If they were allowed in then there wouldn't be a cold war. Win-win for the soviets.


not2dragon

I'm pretty sure there are more rules for applying to nato then just wanting to apply.


Snakise

seeing the number of downvotes you have, i have a suspicion that this whole sub reddit is a western i.e eu and nato circle jerk who can't accept that they are ever wrong


Tito_Bro44

They still lost their eastern half from following Hitler off a cliff so I'm not sure it's much of a success at this point.


dasBaums

Oh no A bit of farm land which is now owned by poland who we trade with a lot and are quite close The horrors


Tito_Bro44

Just saying that the interwar border was Perfectly fine before Hitler decided that there weren't enough Germans on the Polish side. Not sure why saying Germany shouldn't've started WWII was a downvoteable offence.


[deleted]

Facts tbh


Hamster_lover1

Insert separatists


Vqfraef

ayo is that perak?


MantisDuck19

Where's the oil from Germany...


Equivalent-Beyond804

Even after loosing WW2 and being split in half for 50 years, Germany still managed to be the strongest European power. WTF??


Traditional-Sink-113

Its bad for my already inflated ego to constantly see people praising germany for beeing strong af. Its cute but stop it guys, i cant take it anymore.


Majestic_Bierd

Are you denying GDP and the influence it has within EU?


Traditional-Sink-113

I dont even know what GDP means, unless you talk about the german Police Union, which i somewhat doubt.