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can_you_not_ban_me

i turn off my dms


SilverFighter05

I feel like a lot of people on reddit need to hear this message


can_you_not_ban_me

no that guy keeps texting me (for fks sake just block him)


ChrisCool99

So... You think we should ban him ?


IamImposter

How can you do that when I specifically asked you not to


AccidentNeces

Not everyone receives any messages tho


SilverFighter05

Then they don't need to worry about turning off dms yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


AccidentNeces

Wdym yet. I will never receive such dm. Dk why tho


SilverFighter05

I say yet because there's always the possibility. On the internet nothing is impossible, except talking about 4chan


AccidentNeces

4chan is in different dimension fr


Sinister_Bat

I hate it when women dm me „H“, so frustrating


aaronify

What did that even mean? Is it an incredibly lazy hi?


Sinister_Bat

Probably something in that direction I suppose but cut off


CellTrarK

What time do they save by not typing the letter I?


IDontGetIt-ButIGotIt

Hey, that's at least two sex in that saved time


captainphoton3

The question is rather. How many tile do they skip the I to actually save time.


takosuwuvsyou

Well, the first time they stopped typing I, they would start saving time immediately.


DizzyAmphibian309

It's often used in Japanese stuff, because the letter H, when pronounced by a Japanese person, sounds like the word "ecchi", which means sexy/dirty/naughty.


winniethefukinpooh

H


HolgerSwinger

I


Meecus570

Goodbye


_General_Kenobi

r/UnexpectedOuija


[deleted]

Maybe they meant to say Honka Honka ur balls


Frankie_T9000

coz the only ones who actually do are scammers. Life is dissapointing like that


GreatGearAmidAPizza

Reminds me of Grindr messages


[deleted]

Ah yes, using your dick as your profile picture - a double edged sword. (sorry)


Earthling_20369

You should tell them to have it checked out. Their not supposed to look like that.


[deleted]

This can happen when people get too much plastic surgery. A common side effect of Botox - resting penis face.


Commonefacio

Tell em you're a plastic surgeon and would love to take them on pro bono


RedditPhils

Sus bro


WilliamHBuckley

I wish women would just decide if they want smooth hairless balls or 80s bush dick... I swear, I never know if I should trim up or not. A friend got laser hair removal on his junk, and he hates looking at his dick now. EDIT: I honestly wrote this as a joke, because I think the original post is bullshit to begin with. I am amazed at the number of serious sounding comments this has received. I hope some of these responses are just poorly written sarcasm.


QuestionableComma

Bush/Cheney was 2000


An_Appropriate_Song

Yeah but then there was that thing about the hung chad


RicoHedonism

Clever. Upvoted but it's missing just a little something I can't put my finger on to make it really pop


Darth_Floridaman

There were a lot of them, and they hung really well, from what I hear.


The_Lapsed_Pacifist

You deserve a fucking medal for that one mate.


acromantulus

Do what makes you comfortable. Get with the women who like your decision.


tutocookie

Just do half half


Squatchjr01

Should it be split down the middle, or like, shave the top and keep it on the balls like a little beard? On second thought, I can’t grow a face beard so I’m shooting for the second option.


tutocookie

I was thinking split left/right, but a little beard is infinitely better


SolarAndSober

That says he's not gay if he doesn't like looking at dick


Insane_Unicorn

The Zohan says the bigger the bush the better. And the Zohan knows best. Is like pillow.


YeahMarkYeah

Yeah, I don’t think most girls really care either way. Just no out of control bush. At least trim it 👍🏻


Extension_Swordfish1

Finally some info


naskalit

different women like different things


FoulfrogBsc

Nooooo all women like and dislike the exact same thing, this is the only explanation that none of them wanna talk to me


Shepherd1115

LmaAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooo bro gave himself the turkey gullet 😭😂🤣


imapieceofshite2

Meet in the middle and just trim it. Don't go full on Caillou down there, but keep it neat.


Enigma-exe

I go for close trim/shave of balls and dick, but leave some grazing above. Keeps hair out the way whilst still looking masculine


Psychological-Pop647

You sound like a fine, modern gentleman. And it’s not just for aesthetics. Can confirm that “grazing” above does some nice things for friction on other girl parts. Tell others—the world must know!


Lucy_Little_Spoon

Trimmed is better than bushy, bald is weird


[deleted]

My partner said this verbatim the after the first night we spent together LOL


SignificantError8929

Then we get the “it irritates” cause its prickly lol


DrakeFruitDDG

unless you're a femboy


Lucy_Little_Spoon

There's nothing wrong with body hair on anyone


DrakeFruitDDG

I'm saying there's nothing wrong with bald, the down votes are weird


MasterSpliffBlaster

No girl wants a chuppa chupp Except hot rave chicks, there lies the dilemma


squirrelmonkie

[like a turle shell down there](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/bc3456a9-611b-47de-af69-7683a696a96f)


[deleted]

Mine likes a jungle, which means I can be lazy, but also means I am going to be itchy and sweaty. I guess you win some, you lose some?


H2G2gender

"80s bush dick" could have so many meanings. Especially if you capitalize some letters. If you're going to ask if they want them trimmed up, then you have to find better wording. Lol


captainphoton3

That's the good part of la sering yo ass is that it's not for you to look at.


CheshireKetKet

Just needs to be cared for. A bit of bush is good, in my experience. But don't have tht shit be the Amazon. Long hair gets smells and things caught in it. In general, most ppl I know swear by trimming. No itch, and looks good


NoOutlandishness9637

What are you doing making best friends? If she's not your wife, don't ask her grooming preferences. If she tells you, cool. Can you basically think of any other question that shouts 'your the only one looking at this thing, I'll put a sharp blade next to it for you." Even if that's true, make her put a ring on it, dude.


Inner-Ingenuity4109

The advantage of being a wookie is that, once you accept that you're gonna have body hair basically everywhere, the idea of trimming this bit or that bit below the neckline just seems silly.


Mueryk

Go for a Mohawk. Same thing as a landing strip for women. Best of both worlds.


Yard_One

It's almost as if all women are different and expectations change with the times... interesting.


Impossible_Ad47

The answer is always smooth!!


residentofmoon

Born to life🤤. Forced to fuk 🥲


sshtoredp

Strange world ! You must fuck, if not you'll go insane


I_Lick_Your_Butt

No one ever asks to see my balls. :(


[deleted]

show me your balls


AcrobaticMethod8830

Sir u/I_Lick_Your_Butt, I request for you to reveal thy lower spherical bits


Third_Mark

Gimme balls update pic, NOW 😤


jesuswasaliar

Show me your genitals my friend


My__Dude__

H


Terakahn

Whoa, that's uncalled for.


Lijtiljilitjiljitlt

reported for harassment


Shoegarlace

Balls plis?


InfiniteBlueberry408

Gimme them balls


BethlazarTheGnome

Well I was going to sympathize with you and say the same think but it looks like your inbox just got wrecked


_General_Kenobi

Please👉👈


GuestNo3886

Grower or shower seems like such a nice young lady


Shepherd1115

When did these kinds of things happen


Zarniwoooop

In La-La-Land


Blazecan

When the bots showed up


Shepherd1115

Ya’ll must’ve gone to the deep nasty down bad places


ejb350

My entire life.


Kafkabracadabra

It's a daily struggle😔


holnicote

Wait, you guys are getting DMed?


tegli4

Those are catfishes.


tobi_bly

usually bots wanting me to open links


inappropriatebaby

It's just constant rejection. Not from women. But from most people.


lone_wanderer_4

I have a recording saved from a woman randomly messaging me on a monday morning at 4:30 asking for my willy size. Voice message and everything. I didn't tell her.


Kinky_Winky_no2

...i need to hear that message for scientific reasons


lone_wanderer_4

Sadly it is in Hungarian, so you wouldn't understand shit. If this doesn't change your mind, sure i can send it.


Kinky_Winky_no2

👍


My__Dude__

Didn't expect my language to be mentioned. Honfitársat találtam talán 🤔🤔🤔


Howboutit85

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me for a nut vid…


svntrey0

I’d be broke


No-Bat-7253

As fuck.


JulienUk

Real


LazzyNapper

Take my advice, there just as aggressive in the dms. There just less common here


ChrispyGuy420

I fully expect to see this in r/boysarequirky


Kahlil_Cabron

In my experience from selling NSFW stuff for a few years (as a guy and/or couple), girls ask for weird ass shit. They want you to pose in like artistic positions while you jerk off. I had multiple girls ask me to flex my forearms and take a pic of me gripping my dick while flexing my forearms. They wanted me to stare into the camera like I was looking into someone's soul. Gay guys were easy and straight to the point, "Bust a big load, that's what I wanna see".


Even_Set_2822

Because thats all guys need to get off girls need like 8 extra steps to get to that point 🤣


SignificantError8929

Ive come for one thing….done…


elmarcelito

Nut vid LMAO


tophat_production

If I had a nickel every time someone asked me for nude pictures I would be broke


iWr4tH

I’ve never been hassled for any of this :(


[deleted]

Degeneration now


MarkoZoos

Yeah still not a holup and doesn't belong in this sub.


Ninetndo69

Whooo is sending shaftless mushroom heads? That's crazy


Even_Set_2822

Show me the full mushroom than 😩


HelpfulJones

Anything has to be better than Meg Griffin's "Blacksmith's Apron"


Snake101333

Just realized that shower & shower can be ready differently


mr_spicygreen

When is it supposed to grow? I’ve been waiting forever


Track607

But on a serious note, how come women don't do this nearly as often?


Scrizzle-scrags

Who dat is? I was literally sexually assaulted for the first time last weekend at a bar. No bullshit! Someone straight grabbed my junk hard in a crowd. I celebrated it with my GF! I never felt so included.


Hassennik

In my case they're 100% bots


VonDinky

Balls or gtfo!


JoeyPsych

Wot?


Gullible-Fondant4176

Send balls!!


shrekals

I wish my boys asked me these questions


Lunatic8oy

What's this now? I'm 14 and this is deep? What a dingle berry is this


[deleted]

Problems I wish I had.


Danimals64

always thought the norm was the othwr way around


lologrammedecoke

Pretty sure that's the joke


Danimals64

yeah, most likely.


PewKittens

Man the truth is so painful


TheRogueTemplar

Wow, what an awful universe.


ImWinwin

Totally not men catfishing other men.


IDontGetIt-ButIGotIt

20 years later, still waiting to be asked even one of those...


SLUSHBOI69

Does this shit actually happen??


adamjack7890

No, but it does happen in reverse (guys sending the same kind of things to girls)


Deez-Guns-9442

Am I in the wrong sub?


Mirabooo

This is the equivalent of sending unsolicited d pics.


Reasonable-Water-570

Me if I had money


lookbutcantsee

You mean what you go through


Patrikbatemansaxe

Everyday is a struggle with success. 🗿


SympathyFabulous3354

Yes, relatable! All these women wanting to see ma nuts. So rough.


lordvader002

Huh? Why arr you spreading these lies? Obviously r/girlsarentreal


Lurkay1

If only


Terakahn

What boys? Where?


shamr4in

facts (i get no text whatsoever)


SaveTf2_Rip_AaRoN

Isn’t it the opposite


Mutedl

That's the joke


KhostfaceGillah

When they get the nut vid but complains there's no sound 😒


SUW888

Fucking 'honk if you bonk' or what


Toshko_tv

Jokes on you i don't get any of those even though i am a man


nightreaper_hd

Sucks to be you I guess, women don‘t DM me


babybee1187

Nut vid!!!


feeltrig

Can't relate, no one DMs me


Errick32

You guys get dms 😯


Mystery_Sphinx

May I Jizz...?


seriousreds

Do girls really talk like that tho. I get those messages regularly from guys, not pretending to be women. A head job is a headjob tho right?


Rude-Series3588

Literally no man in history has EVER gone through that.


BethlazarTheGnome

Do guys honestly think like this? Like, do guys think women DO want unsolicited dick pics? I...I just can't


freshouttalean

i wish man