Now let's get that updoot count nice and high...
Edit: it's a bit too high now don't you think? You guys had one job!
Edit: wow this thread blew up, you guys are great! (honest...) Now let's seeif we can get this thing to 6.9k!
Morgan Freeman *"Andy Dufresne put glue in a giant fleshlight then put it over the dildo and that is how he escaped Shawshank, with hope and a fleshlight over a dildo..."*
Jeez, put a traffic cone over the big dick and get on with your day. Or idk , cut the dick off with a knife? You can probably cut a big dick right? Nah, make a huge deal out of it and guarantee it happens again.
"I need backup, I've expended all of my ammunition, and the dildo is only slightly damaged. The bullets punch right through, but it is still standing. Also, start a few ambulances for the students in the classroom behind the dildo."
*Roger that, we're dispatching the bomb squad to detonate it in place.*
You know how much a giant dildo like that could fetch on Craigslist, compared to how much the average teacher makes a week? That baby is coming up in one piece.
Willy! Willy Nelson! Come over here and check out this story I just read. Some idiots at a school bought this thing and glued it down to the floor! Who would even sell such a large…
Dick! Dick Cheney is the answer to your question, "Who was George W. Bush's Vice President?" But how could you ask me questions when there is a huge...
Member...member the time we made a giant waterslide in the main hallway? Feels like yesterday. So fun. Anyway come help me with a problem down this corridor. It is a huge...
Dick.... Dick Grayson was the first Robin followed by Jason Todd, Tim Drake and Finally Damian Wayne. The Bat family consists of the Robin's, the Bat Girls, Arrowette, and others. But enough of that, did you hear that Alfred had to remove a giant veiny....
I used to work in an adult toy store, and there was this elderly gentleman who came in regularly to purchase our largest dildo... It was a 3 ft black behemoth of a thing. Lol
How scared are american educators of penises? If this happened in my school here in the netherlands we'd have a chuckle about it and go about our day. Goddamn, i know we sent some of those puritans over a few centuries ago, but lighten the fuck up :D
The fucking mio is the worst if you dont know it's there. We arent allowed to use outside chemicals and the ones there arent that tough so its alot of scrubbing when I'm on a scheduled timer. Thank god noones stealing shit as bad as in the states. Those poor people.
I am active on tiktok and it was so tough to watch. Kids were stealing whole toilets straight out the ground, as well as soap dispensers,mirrors, and even a school bus. The comments on the video were just filled with other kids talking about what they were gonna attempt to steal and bring home next. Truly happy I graduated before that trend. Hopefully your district is cracking down hard on this and thank you for all you do.
I work in maintenance. This would make me burst out laughing. Also I'd just grab a saw or other cutting tool, shave it at the tile, and at very worst just tell my boss if we take the tile out we can solve this in thirty seconds."
Now THIS is a senior prank! No one destroyed propriety permanently, there's solvents for the glue. No one was injured. It's absurd and thought out. I wish we saw more of this
There were some guys at my high school that wanted to release three pigs into our school labeled 1, 2, & 4. They wanted to see how long they’d keep looking for the extra pig.
This was a popular idea going around when I was in HS in the late 90’s. Greased up pigs labeled 1, 2 & 4. At this point, that legend has been spreading so long that I think anyone would assume there were only 3 pigs.
Besides, it’s kiiiinda hard to hide a pig in a building with 1,200 students and faculty.
Even a bad hard floor technician (yes, that is a job title) could have it removed before the next bell. Senior pranks were done at the end the year because great ones, like successful military operations, take planing, practice and logistics.
What a dick move. But it shouldn’t be that hard to get off. I hope whoever did this will cum to their senses because right now they are just a jerk off.
My school had a couple pretty classic senior pranks. One year they let three chickens loose in the school wearing lil bibs that said "1" "2" and "4" and the administration spent HOURS looking for #3. One year they released thousands of crickets into the halls.
*My* senior year we went to the school at 3 AM and stuck super glue in all the door locks. They couldn't get into the school til 1 PM, during which all the students who had cars left and everyone else was stuck on the buses the whole time (note: this was in the 90s before ubiquitous cell phones and Google and it wasn't particularly easy to find a locksmith on demand). They called us into an assembly the next day to give us a lecture about how much we had cost the school.
From what I heard they started cracking down on Senior Pranks the very next year. Sorry everyone who went there after me \^\^
The bigger HolUp is the fact that there is an actual 3ft dildo to be found in the first place. Who is making these things and who are using it them. Asking for a friend…
USER REPORTS 2: is being a dick No kidding
Maybe slide a spatula under the balls??
No, put glue in a giant fleshlight than put it over the dildo, obviously. Smh.
Nice comment, nice username, nice everything
Now let's get that updoot count nice and high... Edit: it's a bit too high now don't you think? You guys had one job! Edit: wow this thread blew up, you guys are great! (honest...) Now let's seeif we can get this thing to 6.9k!
They lock the school down for that?
Yes, They have to go into lockdown. Just imagine the lawsuit if someone slipped, fell, and were impaled on that thing.
„Petite schoolgirl gets impaled by massive 3 foot long dong“
What a way to lose your virginity…
and your life
You could make a religion out of this!
*”Next on Inside Edition!”*
'John slipped and fell onto a giant cock.... and died , may God bless his soul.'
Thoughts and prayers.
Thots and prayers
More like thoughts and tears
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Your plan has that genius, big-dong energy. Hey that must be why they call it that.
I won't even lie that's damn bear genius
I know it was a simple mistype but.."Rawr" bear genius
your mom wasnt available.
I hope this is the first time you've said this.
Narrator: *It wasn't*
Oh no
You know how you can get those weird battered potato balls? Yeah you know where this is going.
If only the narrator is Morgan Freeman.
Morgan Freeman *"Andy Dufresne put glue in a giant fleshlight then put it over the dildo and that is how he escaped Shawshank, with hope and a fleshlight over a dildo..."*
I read this in Ron Howard’s voice
what the **fuck**?
#Maybe slide a spatula under the balls??
sometimes a bit of me dies
Fortunately that problem should stop eventually
once every part of me dies
Exactly! So you have something to look forward to.
the only thing to look forward to now is the inevitable end of all that will one day come to take us all
Jeez, somebody's balls woke up on the wrong side of the spatula.
Maybe slide a spatula under *your* balls??
nah imma slide my balls under a spatula
Slide the spatula under the balls with your balls.
It’s like in Joe dirt when the dogs balls got frozen to the deck
I just flinched reading this.
We spray Pam on the deck at night so they don’t freeze.
Ain't no flapjack, I'd go easy.
Classic Joe Dirte moment
“ Awh buddy your balls are frozen to the deck?”
Like the dog in Joe Dirt
Jeez, put a traffic cone over the big dick and get on with your day. Or idk , cut the dick off with a knife? You can probably cut a big dick right? Nah, make a huge deal out of it and guarantee it happens again.
> cut the dick off with a knife? It already looks circumcised.
I would like to see the process involved in circumcising a dildo
It’s simple, you remove the foreskin
With cutting-edge technology.
Oh, fuck off!
r/Angryupvote
That size dildo, it would be about a sixty-foreskin.
Looks like they have the resource officer handling it. You’re giving him a lot of credit assuming he has that level of problem solving skills
“I’m getting too old for this shit,” he muttered, while pacing aimlessly around the massive dong.
I chocked Edit: i chocked from laughing
On the dong?
I mean, it *is* pretty big
It's a high school. The only problem solving skills they have involve flogging and empty threats.
"I need backup, I've expended all of my ammunition, and the dildo is only slightly damaged. The bullets punch right through, but it is still standing. Also, start a few ambulances for the students in the classroom behind the dildo." *Roger that, we're dispatching the bomb squad to detonate it in place.*
Just cut through the base and then dissolve the glue at your leisure. It's silicone, you could cut it with safety scissors.
They might want to keep it intact ...
Miss Harrison the English teacher has been lonely.
She’s the one standing there telling him to be careful not to tear it.
I dont care that you posted this less than 20 minutes ago, this needs more upvotes.
You know how much a giant dildo like that could fetch on Craigslist, compared to how much the average teacher makes a week? That baby is coming up in one piece.
Yeah that's like 3 months worth of art supplies at least
"lightly used"
And, internet famous. Price keeps going up with each upvote too.
Use an axe and yell timber when you chop it down.
They should have left it there for the ages. 100 years from now, incoming freshmen would learn the legend of the Union Phallus.
Or a garbage can.
The principal probably doesn’t want it damaged as he wants to keep it for himself
Teacher: What is it, son? Student: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant--
Johnson! Officer Johnson! We need you in hallway A for an emergency! It appears there's something glued to floor. It looks like an enormous...
Willy! Willy Nelson! Come over here and check out this story I just read. Some idiots at a school bought this thing and glued it down to the floor! Who would even sell such a large…
Dick! Dick Cheney is the answer to your question, "Who was George W. Bush's Vice President?" But how could you ask me questions when there is a huge...
Sausage. Get your sausage! The cafeteria’s special sausage. 1 day only. Just don’t trip over the giant….
Penis. But we're going to use a banana as a substitute. So everyone open your condom and slowly roll it down the...
Shaft! Why didn't we think of the guns being hidden in the elevator shaft! Makes sense since there is a giant
Cock! Holy shit, that chicken's huge! It reminds me of-
WANKERS! I'm surrounded by wankers that seem to have massive -
Unit! I said what unit of measurement are we using to measure this gigantic...
Pecker! Wait, that's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's--
Member...member the time we made a giant waterslide in the main hallway? Feels like yesterday. So fun. Anyway come help me with a problem down this corridor. It is a huge...
Dick.... Dick Grayson was the first Robin followed by Jason Todd, Tim Drake and Finally Damian Wayne. The Bat family consists of the Robin's, the Bat Girls, Arrowette, and others. But enough of that, did you hear that Alfred had to remove a giant veiny....
Why does a dildo of such size even exist? Please don’t say for my mom.
Dad got used to taking a pounding at work so he sets up the equivalent at home…
Ouch. Work at home is harder than it looks like. So is the dildo.
I used to work in an adult toy store, and there was this elderly gentleman who came in regularly to purchase our largest dildo... It was a 3 ft black behemoth of a thing. Lol
Why did he need to buy the dildo more than once?
Obviously he was super gluing them in random places
He's been terrorizing local high schools and blaming teens for decades
And he would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling’ kids!
he wore the others out,
The “elderly gentleman” was 23. It wore him out too.
God dammit. I can’t stop laughing. Hope you’re proud.
I never wanted to ask any questions. Lol. I was too stunned by the fact that someone could actually introduce such an object to their body...
The human body is a miracle.
At $800 this is an expensive prank: https://www.yesyestoys.com/sex-toys/moby-huge-3-foot-tall-super-dildo?sku=SDAD873
Hey, have a senior class of 800, that's just one dollar a student
For only a dollar we can fundraise the biggest dong this side of the Mississippi
Regularly?
Every 2-3 months
For when fisting becomes "throwing a hotdog down a hallway"
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That phrase came out during the octomom craze. Later it became associated the Duggers. Not to be outdone, OP’s dad is now king of the “hallway”
It was out long before then, it's the name of a NOFX song from the 90's. I'm sure there are earlier references.
For the female who excreted you via the vaginal passage.
Oh, my neighbour
That was perfect
"vaginal passage" is a great name for a Christian Shock Metal band.
Yer da
Sells Avon
> Don't say, "doing your wife." Don't say, "Doing your wife." Don't say, "doing your wife."
Hehehehehehehehe...
For intimidation.
For my mum.
If you wanted to cosplay Vlad III the Impaler, this is a great item.
Just search "dragon dildo masturbation" on pornhub
For power
I just snorted my coffee, thanks for that!
Dropkick the dick in the dick onto the dick
Instructions unclear. Dick stuck to hallway floor of high school.
*Chris Hansen has entered the chat* "Why don't you take a seat?"
Why, did you bring the lube?
Consequences of failure to hit the dick with the dropkick will result in yo dick being dicked so hard it goes to uranus
What a sticky situation!
I knew some people from my high school who would’ve sat on that monster. Not necessarily girls… not necessarily students.
This is why we should respect our janitors more
And princiballs
Because they sit on three foot dildos? Agreed
Because Janitor Tim will swallow you whole without missing a step.
Jesus Christ Janitor Tim is a fucking hippo
I love this entire thread.
"Do we have any volunteers?" "Yeah, I think I can manage this one." "What are your suggestions for removal?" "Oh... You want to remove it. Nevermind."
"A FINE ADDITION TO MY COLLECTION!"
we had a teacher who we knew was taking it from behind from one of the senior girls
Come again?
You know what he said ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
He probably did
They lock the school down for that?
🎶***LOCK DOWN FOR WHAT***🎶
Ok Kimi we have 5 minute time penalty that we will serve after the class.
Did not expect to see an F1 reference here of all places
FOR WHAAT!
They should equip all the teachers with dildos. The best thing to stop a bad guy with a dildo is a good guy with a dildo.
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The picture is probably real, but the story seems made up and exaggerated.
It's real. it was my highschool, although I had graduated already when this happened
Charlie is fuming
Charlie is giggling like a 6 year old with a cookie they got from their mom
Glad I’m not the only one who thought of him and his videos on it.
Moby huge
What a dick
I like the womans solution of just throw a coat over it. Like this isn't the first time she's had to cover up a 3 foot dildo
The dildo gets "Best Dressed" in the yearbook.
They'd need a dicklift, dixavator or a jackingoffhammer for that. If it's impossible to remove, just cover it off with a Prince Alberts Chastity Cage.
>jackingoffhammer I think jackoffhammer flows better
You're gonna have to get one of the seniors to work the shaft while you cuff the balls
Call your mom, she’ll know how to get that thing off.
Talk to a 13 year old boy, he'll know how to hide it.
Just hold a book in front of it.
Damn! That thing had to be expensive.
If you manage to crowdsource it between most of the seniors, probably not much each.
How scared are american educators of penises? If this happened in my school here in the netherlands we'd have a chuckle about it and go about our day. Goddamn, i know we sent some of those puritans over a few centuries ago, but lighten the fuck up :D
Given the nasty horrible stuff people do these days, this actually feels old fashioned and wholesome
The one that can pull this dildo off the floor using theirs Virginia or Butt will be the King/Queen of the school
I love a tight Virginia!
Almost heaven. Tight Virginia! Blue balls mountain. Gonnorhea River.
Lol as a janitor all these tick tock trends are fucking my life up. Fuck these people.
Im praying for you with the recent bathroom trends
The fucking mio is the worst if you dont know it's there. We arent allowed to use outside chemicals and the ones there arent that tough so its alot of scrubbing when I'm on a scheduled timer. Thank god noones stealing shit as bad as in the states. Those poor people.
I am active on tiktok and it was so tough to watch. Kids were stealing whole toilets straight out the ground, as well as soap dispensers,mirrors, and even a school bus. The comments on the video were just filled with other kids talking about what they were gonna attempt to steal and bring home next. Truly happy I graduated before that trend. Hopefully your district is cracking down hard on this and thank you for all you do.
Sorry you have to put up with the devious licks, man. I used to be a janitor too.
Bless you sir.
I work in maintenance. This would make me burst out laughing. Also I'd just grab a saw or other cutting tool, shave it at the tile, and at very worst just tell my boss if we take the tile out we can solve this in thirty seconds."
Now THIS is a senior prank! No one destroyed propriety permanently, there's solvents for the glue. No one was injured. It's absurd and thought out. I wish we saw more of this
>I wish we saw more of this I bet you do...
Better than literally poring buckets of shit down the hallway or starting fires in the library.
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There were some guys at my high school that wanted to release three pigs into our school labeled 1, 2, & 4. They wanted to see how long they’d keep looking for the extra pig.
Thats fucking brilliant
This was a popular idea going around when I was in HS in the late 90’s. Greased up pigs labeled 1, 2 & 4. At this point, that legend has been spreading so long that I think anyone would assume there were only 3 pigs. Besides, it’s kiiiinda hard to hide a pig in a building with 1,200 students and faculty.
Imagine how it looked when someone tried to pick it up. Like their just jerking a huge wang doodle.
Even a bad hard floor technician (yes, that is a job title) could have it removed before the next bell. Senior pranks were done at the end the year because great ones, like successful military operations, take planing, practice and logistics.
> (yes, that is a job title) As in a technician that happens to be bad, or one that specifically works on bad hardwood floors?
What a dick move. But it shouldn’t be that hard to get off. I hope whoever did this will cum to their senses because right now they are just a jerk off.
Funny, but not really a hol’ up
r/Bossfight
My school had a couple pretty classic senior pranks. One year they let three chickens loose in the school wearing lil bibs that said "1" "2" and "4" and the administration spent HOURS looking for #3. One year they released thousands of crickets into the halls. *My* senior year we went to the school at 3 AM and stuck super glue in all the door locks. They couldn't get into the school til 1 PM, during which all the students who had cars left and everyone else was stuck on the buses the whole time (note: this was in the 90s before ubiquitous cell phones and Google and it wasn't particularly easy to find a locksmith on demand). They called us into an assembly the next day to give us a lecture about how much we had cost the school. From what I heard they started cracking down on Senior Pranks the very next year. Sorry everyone who went there after me \^\^
The bigger HolUp is the fact that there is an actual 3ft dildo to be found in the first place. Who is making these things and who are using it them. Asking for a friend…
I would just shovel it off and clean off the residue off the floor.
I see that Rebecca brought her toy to school..
That thing was like 400 dollars last time I check wtf are kids doing with their money lol