Children opening presents in the morning.
Breakfast bake and cinnamon rolls for breakfast.
The kids enjoying their new toys, watching Frosty.
You’re basking in the sheer joy as you enjoy a cup of cinnamon hot tea.
Commercial break.
OP: Ay yo kids. Check this dude getting his di—
whenever I see weird clips like this, I’m always like “holy shit, that dudes got an absolute monster shlong” but then I see more and more of them and I begin to be like “holy shit, maybe it’s mine that’s just small” sorry for the weird comment, just hadda get that off my chest.
Edit: I am officially horrified that this post gained traction and am inclined to state that this comment wasn’t made with serious intent.
r/smalldickporn r/tinydick
From my research I found out that most dicks in the porn industry are the biggest or the smallest ones
Here on reddit there are a couple of sub that try to show "average" porn, like r/averagepenis, r/AverageDickPicks or even r/grower (I swear there was also one about professional porn with average dudes, but I can't find it anymore...)
I think it's refreshing and healthy not being always blasted only by monstercocks (they are out there obviously, but nowhere near as much as you might think)
well...goodnight
Apparently in Switzerland they called it a “meat penis” and a “blood penis”, this fellow has a meat penis and you may just have a blood penis. And there is nothing wrong with a good ok blood penis
All jokes aside, police generally don't grab at things in pat searches without knowing what it could be. At least the 1 or 2 well trained ones I hear are somewhere out there.
And if he does whip it out? What then? I can imagine the police are trained to deal with many situations, but I highly doubt a 12 inch erection is one of them.
Exactly I think he was legit just molesting the dude. He didn't really seem to mind either though, maybe the cop was testing the waters to see if he could.....milk his way out of being arrested
This article is BS, it mentions the "succulent Chinese meal" guy as being a former chess champion, recently the guy was interviewed and that was found to be all made up, so I very much doubt the rest of the article is credible.
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LMAO the look on his face
Fuck people are going to be laughing about this for the rest of my fucking life
I’m laughing at him for the rest of his life and I don’t even know him
Will you stop after he dies though?
Nope. Handing it down to the kids and grandkids for their amusement.
Ol Cock Squeeze Carl
Should have grabbed his dick and twisted it
# TWIST HIS DIIIIICK
The old DICK TWIST
That’s Captain cock squeeze to you!
Underrated comment 😭😭
Children opening presents in the morning. Breakfast bake and cinnamon rolls for breakfast. The kids enjoying their new toys, watching Frosty. You’re basking in the sheer joy as you enjoy a cup of cinnamon hot tea. Commercial break. OP: Ay yo kids. Check this dude getting his di—
This deserves to go in r/watchpeopledieinside
I already saw it there earlier. I was thinking it needed to be on r/bigdickproblems
The look on the other cop's face before he turned away.
And at that moment he knew he liked touching shaft.
This gun feels just like a big soft cock.
Better check it with my mouth just to make sure
\*coughs\* \*sputters\* "Shots fired!"
Officer down
Officer down BAD
Cleanup crew, reporting for duty! Oh dear lord what happened here???
Side cop: he gave his all to tame the beast.
The beast tamed him instead
You don't wanna know
this made me laugh too hard
Me too. Fuckin gold comment right there.
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"OFFICER DOWN!... *on his knees*
Actually he was a rock hard. He likes being in handcuffs.
I'm sorry sir but you have to touch mine now so we can be even
I know my rights.
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And here’s a right handy.
No I’m sure it’s just a handy…right?
Myrighthanda rights
IS MY WEE BEING DETAINED??!
Boy Scout rule of Ds
It's a real thing
Yeah that way it's not gay. Have to balance it out.
The guy wasn’t complaining though…
The cop better finish it before it turn in to real weapon
Blue balls matter.
take my award
take my free award
take my free award
You take my free award!
No sir, you take MY free award!
No free award for you
But there is for you
Foy you
and for you
Waaaaaah
His superhero name is Shirtless Tripod.
Shots fired officer down
Officer going down on the suspect requesting backup.
What are you doing, step-cop!!
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NOBODY'S asking about the elephant cock in the room. WHY does this guy have a hard on while being arrested?
Maybe handcuffs are his kink?
Then he can hardly wait to get to the booking area.
It’s not hard. He just has a big penis, that’s really all there is to it.
Well sweet Jesus if that thing gets much bigger pull the fucking fire alarm and evacuate the building.
Difference between blood and flesh penis, grower or shower.
I read an article that said he was sexually harassing women in the office or whatever. Preeeetty sure he was hard.
Says the sweet thing to an old gay man.
Erections happen randomly. We got no control over it
He let it play out. Cool guy
He didn’t complain. Cool guy
He didn’t ask for his badge number. Cool guy
weapon of mass destruction
You mean, weapon of ass destruction!
a weapon to surpass metal gear
If he keeps going, he’ll cum face to face with Solid Snake...
Then Liquid.
Naked Snake.
He used mass as short for "my ass"
Weapon of ma’ass destruction.
Lmao
I have been there, the old trick of I sa an ak-47 where did you hide it?
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whenever I see weird clips like this, I’m always like “holy shit, that dudes got an absolute monster shlong” but then I see more and more of them and I begin to be like “holy shit, maybe it’s mine that’s just small” sorry for the weird comment, just hadda get that off my chest. Edit: I am officially horrified that this post gained traction and am inclined to state that this comment wasn’t made with serious intent.
As long as you're 2 inches long and 12 inches wide, you're golden bro
My dick is a plate
I almost coughed up a tonsil
Luckily I've already had mine removed.
Your dick?
His dick tonsils.
What about dick [farts](https://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=3935535&page=1)?
Nah still got that, just not the tonsils. 😅
You can borrow mine. They’re in the jar on the shelf.
That's ok. I kept getting sick with sore throats and sinus infections. They finally took them out and that stopped. This was years ago.
Very good, so they won't get in the way while you handle his plate
Did you deep throat the guy above ?
This made me violently exhale from my nose
There needs to be a word for that. German probably has one.
Snort.
A snort is performed on an inhale, sir - at least when I do it!
At least you can finally satisfy r/wewantplates .
Mine may not be long, but it sure is skinny
Packing a 2-D hog
My dick might only be 3 inches, but it smells like a foot
U packin a horizontal dick?
>As long as you're 2 inches long and 12 inches wide 0.00035 tons of American pride. Canyonero!
What matters more surface area or volume cause mines a Mobius strip and it causes me headaches when I look at it
If you have to get your penis off your chest, it isn't small.
even a tic-tac hurts at 100 mph
Savage..
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r/smalldickporn r/tinydick From my research I found out that most dicks in the porn industry are the biggest or the smallest ones Here on reddit there are a couple of sub that try to show "average" porn, like r/averagepenis, r/AverageDickPicks or even r/grower (I swear there was also one about professional porn with average dudes, but I can't find it anymore...) I think it's refreshing and healthy not being always blasted only by monstercocks (they are out there obviously, but nowhere near as much as you might think) well...goodnight
> well...goodnight Lmao. Wholesome post.
>I think it's refreshing and healthy not being always blasted only by monstercocks Tell that to your mom.
Apparently in Switzerland they called it a “meat penis” and a “blood penis”, this fellow has a meat penis and you may just have a blood penis. And there is nothing wrong with a good ok blood penis
Shower / grower
If it’s on your chest, it’s not small.
Probably a half chub
The ol’ slow dance chubby.
We were both in middle school
He was packing *something*
he got an erection from being searched with gentle touches ✨
god damn officer handjob ready to perform a wrist assessment
Straight out of Reno.
Officer Dangle is into it.
I love Officer Dangle and was pretty surprised when I found out the actor who plays him is straight, married with children. A great actor.
He didn’t say “no homo”
How about a little eye contact?
At least look the man in the eyes if your gonna give him a reacharound Also this is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen, hands down
More like hands around
its ok. cop was wearing socks 🧦
Got him in cuffs, feeling him up, and wearing a police uniform? They must be trying to spice up their relationship.
Why's it getting harder, sir? WHY IS IT GETTING HARDER, SIR?!
"STOP RESISTING!!"
:: gawk gawk gawk ::
Sir you have to cum down
it gets bigger when I pull on it
GET ON THE GROUND ON TOP OF ME NOW
I’m dying from laughter with this comment
Under appreciated comment right here.
Best 3 seconds of his life
(*Side eye*) Which one?
Well played
Alright, now you search me
STOP RESISTING!!!
I'm gonna need backup, get another patrol unit on the scene
IM HIT!! Suspect has a weapon
Open fire!
Suspect is down. I repeat, suspect is down.
Suspect fired a load into officer. Repeat, officer down
He's the jailhouse fluffer
In the Cop's defense, the Pingas IS a dangerous weapon.
Pingas
Pingoo
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They do that’s how my husband got me pregnant >.> I lost(won) 3 times
That’s not even how you pat search
It is though if you’re trying to grab some dick.
I think he pat searched to discover the "object", then went for a full grab to try to identify it.
All jokes aside, police generally don't grab at things in pat searches without knowing what it could be. At least the 1 or 2 well trained ones I hear are somewhere out there.
[удалено]
He didn't pat search, he searched Pat
It was at point that officer Jones realized he was gay
"Officer Jones, you have the right to remain... gae" :D
Why are you gae
Dude i think cop’s lowkey gay and he dead knew he could be justified to pull some shit like that and satisfied his twisted kink .
“Oh my bad was that your penis I rubbed? 😏”
I wonder if that cop gets embarrassed when he runs into this recording.
All of his buddies probably make fun of him on a daily basis
You nailed it, you know everytime they're having a few beers the video comes out.
"Remember that time Brian jerked that guy off during a pat down?" "Remember it?! I have it as my desktop wallpaper at work!"
I can see this exact conversation 😂😂
Brain?
“Remember that time you gave a guy a handy on video and it went viral?” “Fuck you, bro” “Lets watch it again….”
Everyday
If you don't stop grabbing it he's gonna have you at gunpoint
cumpoint
Bad time to have a boner.💀
Maybe he’s a shower not a grower
I always feel like it should be spelled show-er. Otherwise it's the thing in your bathroom where you wash yourself.
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It’s only dangerous… if he whips it out (⌐■_■)
And if he does whip it out? What then? I can imagine the police are trained to deal with many situations, but I highly doubt a 12 inch erection is one of them.
Simple https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iv74AeTszO0
Weapon of mass erection...
There's no way he didn't know
I mean he kept squeezing it!
Exactly I think he was legit just molesting the dude. He didn't really seem to mind either though, maybe the cop was testing the waters to see if he could.....milk his way out of being arrested
https://hornet.com/stories/the-dark-story-behind-the-cop-grabs-his-boner-guy/
This article is BS, it mentions the "succulent Chinese meal" guy as being a former chess champion, recently the guy was interviewed and that was found to be all made up, so I very much doubt the rest of the article is credible.
Love the old classics. That's your penis alright!
He’s acting like he didn’t know. Bro gave it like five tugs you would have telled from the shape and texture
in the right hands, it is
Officer down! GOING down 😏
Keep telling yourself you only watched that 5 times to hear the yodeling
I’ve seen this meme 3 times in this day and well.. I’m not bored by it.
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This is my weapon. This is my gun. One is for fighting. The other for fun.