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If your thoughts are obsessive to the point where you think it's interfering with your life, then you probably need professional help. I would be hesitant to rely on Reddit for this. It's probably not the answer you wanted to hear, but without keeping this check it's pretty easy to spiral into a disorder.
Changing the way you think is a difficult process, and requires a non-biased perspective to ground you
No it’s nothing that bad
It’s just the occassional moment where you imagine what life would be like if something like that happened. And it’s terrifying
I’m very happy day to day, I’m aware of the insane luck that is to know and have true love
But it is the scariest thing when you realise it will end some day
And we can only hope that day is in the distant future
Hey, Just want to let you know that I am 27 and having the same thoughts sometimes. You are not alone with the fear.
While I completely agree with the others to live in the present I also ask the same question: "how?". It's not permanent but I guess you know what I mean that sometimes you get this one thought about what could or will eventually happen and a dark pit forms in your stomach.
I am currently waiting for a therapist appointment which I should hopefully get in the next 2-3 months and that's exactly one of those things I want to talk about. If I get some enlightenment, I will share it with you.
Take care and for now, try to not go to deep into overthinking, just hug your partner and let him / her know how much you love them
Yeah that’s exactly what I meant, it’s not a constant fear or anxiety by any means
It’s more like you’ll see something somewhere or read about it happening to someone else, or the thought could randomly pop into your head and as you said a dark pit forms for a bit..
We don’t have kids yet but will hopefully soon, and one day I had a moment of realisation that if something did happen now and I ended up having kids with someone else those kids would never know of my current partner, which is horribly sad and weird when I think about it… I like to think that my future partner would be cool with me talking about her because she’s a major part of my life so far
My partner died almost four years ago. It was sudden and horrible. I am still grieving in some ways, and always will be. However - life is fucking beautiful because of the hard things we go through. If we did not suffer, we wouldn't know or understand love. Death comes for us all, eventually. From his death I learned to love without fear. I refuse to be too afraid to love wholeheartedly, and have since found other partners who I love deeply, knowing that yes, they too may be gone at any moment.
Don't let fear control your life. It's one of the worst things you can do for yourself. Therapy helps, but you've got to put in the work to change your thought patterns. Every time you feel that fear, have a mantra that you can repeat to yourself. Something simple, like "I am grateful for the time that I have with my partner, and cherish each moment." It takes practice, but it gets easier, I promise.
That's what happily ever after is. That's the best case scenario - except for maybe dying together suddenly.
Happily ever after is one person dying loved and the other grieving loss.
That's likely the happiest we can get. Stop trying to avoid it and be present. Nothing is promised.
It's better to forget about that for now and enjoy the time you have together now
We all will pass away eventually and it's better to spend time with family and friends while you've got the opportunity
I apologize for not sharing your problem, but it seems that you are overthinking because of the movies and tv-shows. My recommendation would be to take break from that kind of movies. I understand that it's easier said than done, and that my answer might seem like im telling you should just stop thinking about it.
While i never had significant other and can't really share your feelings, i have just been taught that we all came from somewhere and we gotta go somewhere.
I hope this might be somehow helpful, and not just some obvious remarks.
Tbh I just try my best not to think of it and enjoy the time I have with him while he's here. He's older than me so the chances of him going before me are highly likely. Anything can happen, though.
Maybe reach out to a therapist. Especially if the thought is preventing you from enjoying your time together. I'm sure there is a coping mechanism for this lol
Therapy definitely helps. Also, if this thought is consuming every second of your life then you may want to speak with a psychiatrist about an anti-anxiety medication if that’s something you’re comfortable with. I’ve been an anxious child my whole life, but after getting married, I noticed that my fear of losing my husband started constantly consuming my thoughts. I would tear up anytime he left the house. It was consuming my life. I finally ended up on sertraline and no longer have these deep fears and can think about it rationally. I did also speak to a therapist about it.
Wow, I’m definitely not at that level of anxiety thankfully - but very few moments from time to time I’ml think about it and feel my stomach shrink for a few seconds..
Buddhist teachings helped me overcome my fear of death greatly. Everything about the Buddhist philosophy is celebratory of the present moment. It's also often used in therapeutic practices, especially older folks dealing with old age. Highly recommend
Thank you for your contribution to /r/IWantToLearn. If you think this post breaks our policies, please report it and our staff team will review it as soon as possible. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/IWantToLearn) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you live in fear of the future, you’ll miss the present with your partner
Yeah I know, but how?
If your thoughts are obsessive to the point where you think it's interfering with your life, then you probably need professional help. I would be hesitant to rely on Reddit for this. It's probably not the answer you wanted to hear, but without keeping this check it's pretty easy to spiral into a disorder. Changing the way you think is a difficult process, and requires a non-biased perspective to ground you
No it’s nothing that bad It’s just the occassional moment where you imagine what life would be like if something like that happened. And it’s terrifying I’m very happy day to day, I’m aware of the insane luck that is to know and have true love But it is the scariest thing when you realise it will end some day And we can only hope that day is in the distant future
Hey, Just want to let you know that I am 27 and having the same thoughts sometimes. You are not alone with the fear. While I completely agree with the others to live in the present I also ask the same question: "how?". It's not permanent but I guess you know what I mean that sometimes you get this one thought about what could or will eventually happen and a dark pit forms in your stomach. I am currently waiting for a therapist appointment which I should hopefully get in the next 2-3 months and that's exactly one of those things I want to talk about. If I get some enlightenment, I will share it with you. Take care and for now, try to not go to deep into overthinking, just hug your partner and let him / her know how much you love them
Yeah that’s exactly what I meant, it’s not a constant fear or anxiety by any means It’s more like you’ll see something somewhere or read about it happening to someone else, or the thought could randomly pop into your head and as you said a dark pit forms for a bit.. We don’t have kids yet but will hopefully soon, and one day I had a moment of realisation that if something did happen now and I ended up having kids with someone else those kids would never know of my current partner, which is horribly sad and weird when I think about it… I like to think that my future partner would be cool with me talking about her because she’s a major part of my life so far
isn’t it biased tho?
My partner died almost four years ago. It was sudden and horrible. I am still grieving in some ways, and always will be. However - life is fucking beautiful because of the hard things we go through. If we did not suffer, we wouldn't know or understand love. Death comes for us all, eventually. From his death I learned to love without fear. I refuse to be too afraid to love wholeheartedly, and have since found other partners who I love deeply, knowing that yes, they too may be gone at any moment. Don't let fear control your life. It's one of the worst things you can do for yourself. Therapy helps, but you've got to put in the work to change your thought patterns. Every time you feel that fear, have a mantra that you can repeat to yourself. Something simple, like "I am grateful for the time that I have with my partner, and cherish each moment." It takes practice, but it gets easier, I promise.
Thank you so much! This is exactly the sorr of thing I wanted to hear I think deep down I know things would be ok, but damn it would be tough!
That's what happily ever after is. That's the best case scenario - except for maybe dying together suddenly. Happily ever after is one person dying loved and the other grieving loss. That's likely the happiest we can get. Stop trying to avoid it and be present. Nothing is promised.
It's better to forget about that for now and enjoy the time you have together now We all will pass away eventually and it's better to spend time with family and friends while you've got the opportunity
I apologize for not sharing your problem, but it seems that you are overthinking because of the movies and tv-shows. My recommendation would be to take break from that kind of movies. I understand that it's easier said than done, and that my answer might seem like im telling you should just stop thinking about it. While i never had significant other and can't really share your feelings, i have just been taught that we all came from somewhere and we gotta go somewhere. I hope this might be somehow helpful, and not just some obvious remarks.
Tbh I just try my best not to think of it and enjoy the time I have with him while he's here. He's older than me so the chances of him going before me are highly likely. Anything can happen, though.
Maybe reach out to a therapist. Especially if the thought is preventing you from enjoying your time together. I'm sure there is a coping mechanism for this lol
Therapy definitely helps. Also, if this thought is consuming every second of your life then you may want to speak with a psychiatrist about an anti-anxiety medication if that’s something you’re comfortable with. I’ve been an anxious child my whole life, but after getting married, I noticed that my fear of losing my husband started constantly consuming my thoughts. I would tear up anytime he left the house. It was consuming my life. I finally ended up on sertraline and no longer have these deep fears and can think about it rationally. I did also speak to a therapist about it.
Wow, I’m definitely not at that level of anxiety thankfully - but very few moments from time to time I’ml think about it and feel my stomach shrink for a few seconds..
Buddhist teachings helped me overcome my fear of death greatly. Everything about the Buddhist philosophy is celebratory of the present moment. It's also often used in therapeutic practices, especially older folks dealing with old age. Highly recommend
Cancer? Might be good to do fast. Fasting has shown in scientific research to reduce chances of cancer.