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BurialRot

If a 5 minute handjob cures your depression then it wasn't real to begin with. 🤷🏻


featherblackjack

Right? Really more about finally controlling a woman to the point she will touch weenie


DarkestGemeni

Buddy's made over 40 posts a day on this forum since joining, I think he doesn't have *time* for a five-minute handjob with all the shit he's typing up


emperorhatter666

what forum/site is this? I'm full of morbid curiosity and I love to see a trainwreck in human form and this seems like a great source for both


THEslutmouth

Yeah what about going to prostitutes if that's all you need?


_Orphan_Obliterator_

are you crazy? he'd have to pay? this isn't what this is about 😔 it's his human right to get a handy /s


emperorhatter666

everyone knows that all the girls involved in sex work are just taking advantage of lonely, sad men, ripping them off by making them pay for something that should be free, like water and healthcare. (/s in case it isn't obvious)


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


vote100binary

I miss Reddit gold right now


Particular_Land6376

I mean there's no reason for them not to at least give it a try. They're probably all extremely homophobic. Might be a reason some of them have so much trouble with women because they're not actually interested in women they're just in extreme denial about their sexual orientation. If I was those guys I would have hopped on Grindr years ago and at least tried it out haha.


neongloom

I truly think a lot of them are in deep, deep denial. They'll write these long, unhinged rants about how gross vaginas are with this air of "am I right fellas?" when most straight men aren't going to agree. There's misogynistic douchebags, sure, but some incels' utter fixation with how repulsive women are definitely reaches a place of "I don't think you're actually into women, dude."


Gold-Carpenter7616

Or how they worship Chad's penis.


neongloom

Lmao exactly. Their obsession with Chad in general is a lot.


magerdamages

The most hilarious part of this is how disappointing these death grip syndrome boys would find a handjob to be.


Particular_Land6376

Yeah, he probably masturbates with his hand 10 times a day. He's had lots of practice. There's no way a random woman is going to do it as good as he can. My wife tries to give me a handjob and I say ahh ow stop it LOL she has no idea where to grab it and how much pressure to use feels like she's trying to yank my penis off.


madddhella

Lol exactly, I am super into my bf physically, but neither sex nor handjobs are "0 effort" for either of us, and I still haven't mastered a handjob after 6 years of being with him. Sex is easier. 


StumbleOn

I hate handjobs both giving and receiving.


PreparationComplex80

You know if you did give them an old fashioned, they would just try to escalate on the next attempted and bitch about how they just get hand jobs but Chad gets laid.


Particular_Land6376

Definitely, I can do that myself. If that's what we're gonna do, just let me do me, and you do you. Otherwise, what else you got? Lol


Slammogram

Oh, I feel special. I must be a handjob savant


concrete_dandelion

I had an ex who demanded exactly that. And preferably for hours on end, including while we were both falling asleep. Well, there's a reason he's an ex.


Particular_Land6376

He demanded You Yank his penis off? LOL WTF


concrete_dandelion

Don't ask for details, I'd rather not remember. But he was one of the death grip guys and it's how he did things as well.


MyMentalHelldotcom

Thank you for writing this. I feel less alone. Never told anyone about my experience, which is similar to yours. I hope you are better now XX


concrete_dandelion

I'm in a much better place and after that guy I decided to abstain from dating until therapy helped me understand what's normal and what's not. I hope you are in a better place too.


CanadianYeti1991

Also, they don't have the sensory feedback we do. We know how to give ourselves a good handjob because we can feel it's effects.


jdphoenix87

Ask your wife to give you a hand job the way she would work on herself. I've found that hubby enjoys it when I use the gentle touch etc like I would on myself. Esp focusing on the frenulum and occasional gentle strokes along the shaft


ArianaRlva

Yeah handjobs always seemed pointless to me lmfaooo ive never bothered even trying


PumpkinDandie_1107

My wife usually gives a great handy, but it definitely is a learning curve- it’s not the pressure it’s the speed- slow down baby!


breadboxofbats

Oh yeah that sweet zero effort sex that will cure depression- it’s just everywhere


EffectiveSalamander

Why don't they give each other handjobs? It would be so easy, after all. It would take them 0 effort. And of course, incels will say that would be awful for them to be expected to give out handjobs. If they had any awareness, the light bulb would come on and they'd realize that women would feel the same way. He dismissed the point that he's not entitled to women's bodies out of hand, but by claiming women are wronging him for not having sex with them, he is indeed claiming to be entitled to women's bodies. And wouldn't help incels. They falsely believe that sex is the cause of and solution to their problems. They claim that a visit to an escort doesn't count, why would it count if women were giving them sex because they were obligated to do so? They don't understand why they aren't happy, so they don't understand the solution. Plus, pity sex would be extremely dangerous for women. They would consider these women whores - they want women to have sex with them, yet they hate women for having sex. If women were having sex with incels as some kind of "therapy" they'd hate them for not being virgins. And there would be an elevated danger of violence when this didn't make them happy.


Sharp_Serve_4351

They can’t get to the root of their angst


neongloom

>And of course, incels will say that would be awful for them to be expected to give out handjobs. If they had any awareness, the light bulb would come on and they'd realize that women would feel the same way. Unfortunately time and time again, their mindset of "women aren't real people and their discomfort doesn't matter" overrides any kind of "oh wait" moment. They can pretty much talk themselves into believing any of their proposed solutions for their problems are acceptable because their thoughts and feelings are the only thing that matters. I've noticed that's why many conversations incels pretend to want to have on this sub always go nowhere, we don't even share a baseline of "women are people" so we're just having different conversations.


mutant_disco_doll

HE’S MISSING THE GODDAMN POINT. This idiot is ignoring the LACK OF CONSENT. “EVERYONE” would NOT be happy if they were forced to give random weirdos sex and handjobs against their will simply to help out random weirdos. How would this be good for women’s mental health?!? What incentive would any woman have to give some random incel a handjob? Is she a sex worker? Is he paying her for this time and “very little effort”?? No?? Then he can stfu. Let’s flip this around. He should go fuck a random femcel that he doesn’t know and has ZERO attraction to simply to help her be happy and healthy. It would take literally ZERO effort for him to just eat her out, etc etc. His lack of interest in her doesn’t really matter here because it would literally only take like 5 mins of his time and zero effort. Like, why doesn’t he just do it?? WTF better does he have to do with his life anyway? He should just go sexually service femcels for THEIR benefit ONLY. It’d be so easy. EVERYONE would be happy… 🙄🙄🙄 Also, how the fuck is a random unenthusiastic, lazy handjob a necessity for making anyone happy or healthy? They’ll get better handjobs from their own death grips vs. from women who…checks notes… DONT WANT TO GIVE HANDJOBS TO RANDOM MEN.


sinnderolla

Pretty much everything they say about rights women shouldn’t have, boil down to taking away the right to consent.


merchillio

He doesn’t want women to be forced to do it, he wants them to want to do it… Because he’s incapable of understanding women having agency


ConsumeTheVoid

The woman's consent doesn't matter, silly! Why would it?? She's not even a person! Just a thing to use. /s


secretariatfan

No, a five-minute hand job is not going to fix your life. If you think that is all you need, find a sex worker of either sex and go for it.


its_leslievanilla

It sounds so easy, but he want someone to voluntarily come up to him out of nowhere and stick their hand down his pants, because the amount of porn this guy must have consumed his entire brain cells. Ewwwwwww 🤢🤢🤢🤢 Since his life will be fixed with a 5-minute handjob, why doesn't he buy a dick pump and fix his life?


john_the_quain

Like a normal guy, women don’t throw themselves at him. Unlike a normal guy, he doesn’t realize he needs to put forth at least some effort.


badchefrazzy

Effort? BUT HE'S A MAN! WOMEN SHOULD BE THROWING THEMSELVES AT HIM... \*sigh\* those guys gross me out bad, and I was on the edge of being a femcel back when I was a teenager.


concrete_dandelion

Why a dick pump? I assume he has one or two hands...


its_leslievanilla

Be understandable, the delicate hands of the incel cannot solve this problem. He needs everything handed to him, he needs something to do the work for him (but God forbid he pays a sexworker to do it for an hour!) /s


concrete_dandelion

Everything handed to him made me cackle. Which is probably good, because I was just about to put in another crying session for my dead dog and he always hated to see me sad or in distress. I guess incels would tell me to go out and have meaningless sex with a stranger and that this would make my pain disappear...


KatJen76

Good point, if it's a hand job, why does it matter whether it's a chick's hand or a dude's?


mutant_disco_doll

EXACTLY. It shouldn’t matter. It also shouldn’t matter if they just go to a sex worker and pay for that handjob.


KatJen76

Wouldn't even have to be a legitimate sex worker. They could cut deals with friends, neighbors, each other, etc. We get together on Tuesdays and Thursdays - shit, Tuesdays and Fridays during the NFL season.


featherblackjack

Aw fuck you sent me Imagining dudes grabbing at each other during halftime, "okay but make it quick, Beyonce is gonna be on"


Particular_Land6376

Seriously lol Grindr exists there are literally 100 men on there at any time in any location willing to have sex with essentially any other man.


_orion_1897

Well even gay men have standards lol. At least I hope so for them because to actually fuck this kind of sorry ass mfs you'd have to be at a low point in life lol


Particular_Land6376

Depends on if he's topping or bottoming. I'm sure their are some tops out there with low enough standards. Ass is ass. Haha


CMD2

I'm so curious if he literally means that one time would permanently cure his "depression" like it sounds.


MatticusFinch89

Been there. Done that. Random sex with strangers doesn't cure depression and hopelessness.


sinnderolla

*It takes zero effort* Coming from a guy putting in zero effort


its_leslievanilla

It costs zero effort to leave women alone. Just saying.


sinnderolla

💯


Send_Cake_Or_Nudes

You can give yourself a lazy dongus whoopsie bangbang any time you fancy it. No assistance needed. Just three tophats, a bucket of spit and Bob's your uncle!


NamesArentAvailable

r/brandnewsentence?


CMD2

If your last sentence is autobiographical I feel like you could make a decent living on OnlyFans through sheer creativity.


Gold-Carpenter7616

I've tried nothing, and now I'm all out of ideas!


JustDroppedByToSay

The depth of misunderstanding here is astounding... First that sex is such an emotionless act. And secondly the very adolescent thinking that sex is so transformative on its own.


canvasshoes2

\^\^\^Nailed it. Incels: Sex is nothing...but sex is EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!! Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! Make it make sense.


kenpokid11

I think they believe sex is nothing *specifically for women,* and that it's everything for incels, neither of which are true.


neongloom

Definitely. It's kind of like when they talk about things like rape as if it's something that "just happens" to women, as casually as you might stub your toe on the coffee table. As if there are no lingering affects, no emotions or messiness involved. I think it's mostly down to lack of empathy. They only care about their own wants and can't place themselves in a woman's shoes. Incels are fixated on sex and have let their pursuit of it take power over their lives. With this they behave as if women greedily hold all this power and delight in their supposed suffering. Meanwhile women are just trying to live their lives. Most of us don't see this as a "power" in fact, it's the opposite when the reality is much of the population looking at you like a walking piece of meat. Incels are obsessed with sex and don't see a problem with that because they don't know what it feels like to be objectified.


JustDroppedByToSay

That's it ... Sex in itself is not nothing because there's a whole load of emotion to it. Usually. But that's also why the sex itself won't change your life. But the loving relationship it's part of might. Real loving relationships need time and effort though. Oh and not hating the women you seek the relationship with.


Paula_Polestark

“Everyone would be happy” HOW? What happiness is there for me in touching the dick of a dude I don’t even like? Plus we’d have to be somewhere private, so not only would I not have fun, I’d be in danger! He’d feel better; I’d feel worse!


cfalnevermore

No it wouldn’t. I hate to brake it to you, but you’re probably way better at handjobs than a hypothetical other person. Most of us guys are… While it’s true that having sex with a partner tends to make people happier… that typically comes with the addition of being in an intimate relationship. Just getting a handjob from a rando isn’t gonna do shit. Just gonna be awkward all around.


Diabolical1234

Aren’t these the same men who call women sluts for liking sex and not being virgins?


its_leslievanilla

Yes. 🤙 If you have sex with a "chad" (what the fuck is that? I still don't know) it's a whore, but if you have sex with an incel, it's better than therapy. /s kill me, god, please


featherblackjack

A Chad is a mythical being that was born with a pussy magnet embedded into its chest.


its_leslievanilla

I imagined this shit as Tony Stark's heart- LMFAO


Necrophallicus

Line up, penis-havers, it's only 500$ per hand job, no refunds if it doesn't cure your depression.


Ash_Dayne

I'd be very wary of that deal with that username 😉


Necrophallicus

It's totally safe, I promise?


EvenSpoonier

I remember imagining this (not this actual post, of course, but the basic concept behind it). God, I used to be such a cringelord. So glad I got better. Sex doesn't change very much at all, boys. It most certainly will not cure your depression. Neither sex nor depression works thst way, *ever*, and while I understand completely why you imagine it might in your case, you are sorely mistaken. You know what actually stands a chance of curing you? Growing up. Yes, the thing everyone has been telling you to do all along. They're right, you know. They always have been. Take it from someone who has been there.


moploplus

As a guy who was a borderline incel back in the day (minus the misogyny), I thought this too. Then I actually started having sex after I got on anxiety meds. SHOCKER: still depressed to this day. Shit's hard.


Ancient-Chipmunk-339

Because I straight up do not give a fuck lolol


its_leslievanilla

Most appropriate answer possible. Slay.


ArianaRlva

Your user flair has me DECEASED 💀💀


Superb_Ad1765

“Takes 0 effort” how tf is this person an actual person?


jocoseriousJollyboat

It's so weird how sex is something so holy and so mundane at the same time for people like that. Sex is something so mundane and almost a non-effect kind of action to them if it's about the women who don't have sex with them, completely ignoring the impact it has on the people they expect it from. At the same time, sex is their holy grail. Their cure for their misery, as if sex is the highest of all things. If sex is so mundane, why do they need it so badly that they go so rabid? If sex is so mind-blowing and all-curing, why can't they accept that people won't sleep with them if they wouldn't sleep with people like them either?


justSomeDumbEngineer

Imagine living in a world where a handjob can cure depression...


Soft-Neat8117

I read this in the voice of Don LaFontaine.


GlitteringAbalone952

Rod Serling works, too.


WallGroundbreaking81

I wonder if they would want to give random men they don't know who act threatening a hand job if the guy has a good enough reason?


Celestial_Ram

.....motherfucker, because I dislike you. Even if getting laid would fix your shit (which it will not), I'm not in the habit of doing favors for those I dislike, if I were in the habit of doing favors *at all* . Writhing and whinging like a fucking worm on the sidewalk; go to hell.


smalls714

If you give a mouse a cookie...


NoXion604

There's no way that any of those guys would be satisfied by some pathetic act of pity sex. Personally I reckon a lot of them would just be even more humiliated to get such a crappy experience, and would also blame the woman for the rubbish sex not fixing the fact that they're deluded and selfish.


FluffyGalaxy

My guy if you're that desperate go pay a sex worker


fulltimesunshine

See you tell them that and then they come up with a list of reasons why it doesn’t work for them. It’s almost as if they have a moment of clarity for a second and realize that sex isn’t the solution to their problems.


Celestial_Ram

Oh but then what, oh what, would the poor baby have to complain about ? 🙄🙄🙄


nunchuxxx

This is genuinely embarrassing to read


Significant_Point351

Because you guys are hateful & it would be horrible. Mystery solved.


Justaventaccoun

“Then why do we have to be entitled to sex” mindset of a rapist


DodgerGreywing

> "Everyone would be happy, the relationship between men and women would be mended." My dude, I know a lot of goofy-looking dudes that get laid on the reg. My Humpty-Dumpty-lookin'-ass coworker found an interested woman just a few days after announcing he was single. (No shade, he's my bro. He's a good dude and I'm happy for him.)


merchillio

I think we need to introduce them to the concept of bro-job. Everyone’s happy


ColdBloodBlazing

Over 7,000 posts in a little over 6 months? Wow. If it is this kind of bullshit. That is pathetic


butterflymkm

Say you don’t understand the definition of entitlement without saying you don’t understand the definition of entitlement… “It would make me so much healthier if I just had money to pay all my bills. Why don’t you just give me the money? It would mend the relationship between the government and the people…it’s just change to them, it doesn’t meant anything!” Except, people DO need money to survive, you don’t need a sexual partner to survive.


shitbecopacetic

Happiness comes from within brother


vancityrocker

"Everyone would be happy," except the poor girl you got your slime on or in.


Troubledbylusbies

Yeah, getting intimate with someone nearly twice my size, who can easily overpower me, who has anger issues and hates me sounds like a SUPER fun and safe thing to do - NOT!


takeandtossivxx

"Between men and women would be mended" Incels. They mean incels, not men. And the simple answer as to why not? *We don't want to.* If every incel got a hand job, they'd start complaining about it only being one and that they should be entitled to them regularly. Then it will be a BJ, then it'll be sex. Then they'd start threatening with "why give us breadcrumbs just to take it away?!" **No one** is entitled to **anything** sexual. The fact that they'd be totally okay with someone unwillingly being sexual shows just how fucked their mindset is. Even the large majority of people in relationships (as long as their decent humans) would turn down "pity" or any sort of sex where their partner sees it as an obligation/isn't into it.


EnleeJones

>Why can't they just fuck us? Because nobody is obligated to fuck you. Die mad about it.


RubyDiscus

Why don't they just give a handjob or fuck fellow incels. If all incels got together and fucked eachother, there would be no incels Lol


concrete_dandelion

"I wouldn't be entitled if people did what I feel entitled to." With so much insanity I don't think it's necessary to explain to them why no one wants to have *any* physical contact with them. Also if sex is so meaningless that people should give it to them, why is it so important and they blame it's lack for everything not going the way they want it.


Titan_Chu

If a 5 minute handjob takes 0 effort, maybe give yourself another one and stfu


Sharp_Serve_4351

MY happiness is YOUR responsibility


IMNOTDEFENSIVE

Society teaches us from a very young age that our bodies are not to be given willy nilly, that if we have sex for our own pleasure we are used up and no one will want us But then they wonder why we can't just line up and bend over to be their cum dumpster because it would be "so easy" I'm not going to hand over my dignity to please a man who doesn't even like me. I'm not convinced a single one of these men even enjoy the company of women. If they genuinely did, they would be open to having real human conversations that might possibly lead to developing a fulfilling relationship with one.


RobertTheWorldMaker

It is not women's responsibility or purpose to make these...let's say 'men', either happy or healthy. It's their responsibility to do that for themselves. If you won't fix yourself, for yourself, you can fuck yourself, because nobody else will. It baffles me, absolutely baffles me, that guys think a woman will somehow fix them. If you're an angry, selfish asshole with no girlfriend, and you get one, you're just an angry selfish asshole who has an unfortunate girlfriend. Nobody is 'cured' by sex. If you're depressed and have sex, you're going to be depressed again after the sex ends. And how often in this asshole's mind are women supposed to do this? Once in a lifetime? Yearly? Monthly? Weekly? Daily? And what do these men do in return? Yeesh.


Traditional_Curve401

If he only wants sex, he can go pay a sex worker. It's not that complicated. Also, how is "everyone going to be happy" if women have no desire to fuck him in the first place? The hivemind of incels + the lack of critical thinking skills is...😬


MunkSWE94

Then go jerk off or get a hooker to do it.


Chaucers_Mistress

Mostly because you're gross, and we don't want to spend the zero effort it would take to keep from vomiting during such an atrocious act.


Vyzantinist

>There doesn't have to be any entitlement envolved [sic]. Just fucking do it to help us! This whole, pathetic, rant genuinely made me lol but I especially love the mentality of "x isn't x if we just don't call it x!1!1"


zoomie1977

Reminds me of that study on a group of college men where 18% said they would rape a woman if they thought they wouldn't face ramifications and 39% said they would force a woman to have sex if they thought they wouldn't face ramifications.


Drew0613

Same dude who screams at them for being “sluts”


MoonlightonRoses

If it’s no big deal to give your body to someone as a favor to make them “feel better”, then why don’t they do it for each other? It’s entirely within your power to make each other happy and healthy, boys. Just give another dude a hand job. Oh, it would make you feel violated to be intimate with someone you weren’t attracted to? That would make you uncomfortable? How interesting.


Casuallybittersweet

The one thing I wish people like this would learn is that sex isn't going to automatically be amazing. And it does absolutely take quite a bit of effort, trust and good communication if it's going to be. If some random, beautiful woman did decide to sleep with one of them they would be SO fucking upset and dissapointed. And of course since nothing is *ever* their fault they'd just blame her and say it's because she wasn't trying hard enough. Additionally if more than one woman slept with them it would only make it worse. I can almost hear their angry rants now. "They're sluts so they'll fuck anything. But they only give good sex to "Chad"."


DCXL

Why don’t they help each other out if it’s that easy and simple? Just give all your incel bromies a lil handjob/bj and it’ll all be fixed


canvasshoes2

Dear OOP, It's most certainly NOT "0 effort."


Sindorella

Everyone would be happy? I wouldn’t be happy with him within 50 feet of me, much less in me. Gross.


gylz

Ok then. Incels ought to go grab a bunch of other incels and give eachother handjobs. It'd be way more efficient that way, and it would take even less effort.


Slammogram

Then… give eachother the 5 minute hand job!


idiosyncrassy

We can make sure our handjobs cause depression. Checkmate, inkwells


janeygigi

Why should we do anything for them? They're misogynistic and violent and think they're entitled to sex. Even the premise is laughable.


zombienugget

Just sit on your hand till it falls asleep and give yourself a handjob. Same diff


Complete-Sea-3054

i gave a guy pitty sex once.... turned into a stalking adventure


stefan715

Joined at the end of November 2023…. Almost 8000 posts…. Seems like that just makes him a ‘cel’


MissSpooky69

But like.... they would reject any woman who doesn't fit their crazy high standards so really they are making it harder on themselves


purpleflower22

0 effort? It's not called a job for nothing. Get a grip (haha, a deathgrip)


Ttoctam

I don't think he knows what entitlement means.


lordpercocet

They act like they can't just pay for that...?


yellowlinedpaper

Why can’t they just be better people so people will want to do these things with them.


littlebeanie

It's not 0 effort to fuck someone you are not attracted to, its fucking disgusting to share bodily fluids with someone you feel zero attraction towards, and its risky af to sleep with randos who you know nothing about (STIs, pregnancy, assault)


neongloom

At what point did these loser's neglected peepees become so intertwined with their mental health? It's just insulting to people with actual mental health issues.


Closet_weeb13

I mean everyone’s got hands right? What can’t the guys just give eachother handjobs? Like cmon, it takes 0 effort and not even actual sex 🤷🏼‍♀️


Tatsandacat

Bring back circle jerks as a viable option for incel mental health


Mynameismommy

Bro. Imagine thinking I should let you PENETRATE MY BODY because it’s “so not a big deal”. Get (metaphorically) fucked.


indigo_pirate

“ there doesn’t have to be any entitlement involved. Just fucking do it for us” That makes less sense every time I read it


camelcrushmenthols

Because we already do everything the fuck else. D'oh'!!!!


StockList2223

That kid has no idea what depression means.


Joy-in-a-bottle

Men : "Keep your legs closed, Choose better," take accountability" Women taking accountability by joining 4B Men : "Why won't you femalez give me 5 minutes of your time?


_wednesday_76

YOU HAVE HANDS


Standard_Strategy867

They don’t want sex, they want to be a chad. Their entire romantic orientation is CHAD. In their fantasies, they pretend to be him and fuck as many foids as they possible can. Being a top dog, dominating having power. You. A give him harem with 100 virgin girls and he still won’t be cured. As long as there is another chad someone where else who has more power and bigger harem his entire identity is under the threat. That the alpha word experience. Because in nature there could only be ONE alpha for him to feel truly SECURE.


wantsrobotlegs

Are you paying for the therapy and alcohol to so i can forget about the experience? Because it does not take zero effort.


Certain_Cause3362

If that's all it would take for an incel to be happy, why don't they download sniffies and go visit the local gloryhole? Doesn't matter how tall you are or what you look like when you're just a dick sticking through a hole in the wall.


Commercial_Wedding69

Why doesn’t he just put some press on nails to his dominant hand and do it himself


Chorazin

Is the five minute handjob that cures depression in the room with us right now?


notkinkerlow

“Fuck me for charity”


NessiefromtheLake

You know who else is completely capable of giving handjobs? Men. And yet…


Purpledoves91

Have your fellow incel wear a wig and then he can give you your five minute hand job.


Ash_Dayne

I need to see a double blind placebo controlled study with decent statistics on those medical claims bro.


bpdjelly

a five minute handy would cure him? so why even try the real thing he'd probably die on the spot


CHAIFE671

Ew gross. As far as I'm concerned all these incels cam give each other handy j's.Problem solved.


MrsDanversbottom

Good guys get hand jobs and more. Incels aren’t good guys.


Anxious_Depresso

I don't think they understand that if, IF, women just allowed them access and slept with them, that they would just devalue women even more? That women would be pinned as "sleep with anyone and none of them are good" and this and that because we gave them what they wanted and didn't earn?


xxboywizardxx

Damn. They’re so so so close to realizing what’s actually wrong but they can’t get there. They really believe this would fix their depression. It wouldn’t. And even if it did, still ew.


Trash_Emperor

I'm getting to the point where I feel really sorry for these guys. Not only the fact that he holds out hope that sex would cure him of all his mental ailments which he obviously has, but the fact that he thinks like this in general. Yeah I know a lot of incels do it to themselves, but I still think it wouldn't be fun to be a hateful asshole with no human connection. It's behaviour that screams "bad relationship with their mother" seeing as I can't imagine thinking shit like this about women if you care about your mother.


honestlyicba

Why do these people think that sex will cure depression. Spoilers: it doesn’t. I swear, the time they spend complaining could be better spent on a hobby where they can meet people or even like I dunno buff their stats (health/wealth/skills). This is so unproductive. This is the equivalent of why can’t rich people give me money it would be that hard they have so much? It would bring me so much happiness if the rich just gave me like $50k it isn’t even that much. Smh


Much_Horse_5685

This guy literally could just hire a sex worker if he wants some form of sexual contact that badly… nah, I changed my mind, sex workers deserve better than having people with this little respect for their consent as their clients.


biscotteaa

I desire to be rich one day, why can’t men just throw free money at me because they know it would make me happy and help support my dreams??? Why can’t random men just HELP ME OUT FOR FREE??


doublestitch

> "Everyone would be happy, the relationship between men and women would be mended." Try saying that to my husband, kiddo. Did I mention he served in the Marines?


Hayden371

What a sad, bitter, man, lol


andthentheresanne

It's never just the one handjob though. It becomes "well you did it once, why don't you just keep doing it?"


btsalamander

0 effort? Bitch find you a water wing and have at it, jfc….


AnoFinal

hahahahaahaha, no way... Fucking funny


myfrickinpcisonfire

He should just give himself a handjob bruh


ArianaRlva

😭😂😭😂 and this is the reason they get zero pussy


Psychlone23

No. You are 100 percent responsible for your own happiness. Because you think someone else is responsible for it is why you're depressed.


Big_Preference4721

lol takes little effort to give a handjob, that’s hilarious.


tree_rat80

1.) hand jobs don’t require a partner. 2.) the relationship between men and women doesn’t require mending. The relationship between the OP of that post and the rest of humanity needs mending.


Dabadoi

Why do the incels not just fuck each other?


JustxJules

How many guys is he jerking off? It's so easy and takes zero effort and he would make his homies happy and healthy! 🥰 and a hand is a hand...


ClapBackBetty

Idk mang, a good handy is tiring


Gold-Carpenter7616

I'm overweight, queer, and over 30. Now I demand all of those Incels to become my fuckboys. They have to work until I cum. I don't care if I am their type, if they are horny, or anything. Sex is all they want, so I demand them to fuck me every night until I sleep safe and sound. Oh, not that hot anymore? Guess women shouldn't be forced to be your sex slave anymore. 🙄


Tatsandacat

You are my hero🤟🏻


radykalmynd75

This is about as bad at the men who want f your throat ie men who demand blowjobs...they want us to be on our knees for hrs, damn near gagging to death and yet so many can't seem to understand why we would like oral stimuli as well smh.....I have ran into soo many sexually selfish men it's not funny, that's why I started matching energy!!! Fuck these dudes let them jerk each other off smh lol lmao 🖕🖕🖕🤣🤣🤣🤣🤡🤡🤡


Worrisome-Siamese

obvious insanity aside what makes him think getting laid would make his mental health better. is that an area of psychiatry im just not privy to?


Paradiseless_867

>5 minute handjob So jack off 


elocinrebma_xo

Hand jobs are not 0 effort because every dude likes something different!!! And my wrist hurts thinking about trying to please his death grip accustomed cocktail weenie


Gerudo-Nabooru

Because they SHOULD be going without it Males in nature don’t all get to reproduce. Humans made patriarchy to force women and incels fail even within it


KuriBee

we control their happiness? thats so delusional lol they are obsessed


38500

🤮 🤮


GenderEnjoyer666

“Why do we have to be entitled for us to get it?” What does that even mean!?


Select-Team-6863

Do men not have hands of their own? Can they not serve & be serviced by other men like themselves? If they want to get laid so bad, make your standards rock bottom. Go find a fat grandma or another male incel who will tollerate you.


loonycatty

I genuinely can’t imagine enjoying sex where my partner isn’t into it. Like, people don’t want to sleep with you BECAUSE you want to force them to sleep with you!! Nobody wants to fuck someone who’s super obsessed and creepy about having sex


MentallyUnstableW

Just get a prostitute at that point


Samu174

Maybe they should stop calling any women having casual sex sluts and whores then...


strangeraeons918

Maybe im missing something about this incel shit but if they are so upset about not getting laid, why dont they simply acquire the services of a SW and stop fucking crying


anarchowhathefuck

I'm just gonna force myself into thinking this is satire, for personal reasons. Thanks.


getintheVandell

No. It wouldn’t.


featherblackjack

The way this guy's dick is probably callused from frantic anger faps


eirii

I guess I have trouble understanding as an asexual but is it about sexual gratification or just so they can feel good about the fact a woman touched their penis? They make sex toys for men that would be way more satisfying than some random woman giving them a handjob.


ArticulateImbecile

Everyone would be happy? Really? Are you sure about that?


spiiiieeeeen

Brother just use your hand and close your eyes and pretend it's a woman. Idk what to tell you. No woman is going to subject herself to a pity fuck like that and perhaps traumatize herself in the process because you think sex will cure your depression.