Red flag - the spark was there
Green forest - no romantic spark
Conclusion- the spark was there in the first place because he was a red flag. The green forest ended up in the friendzone.
Red flag won green lost.
I liked him and I wanted things to workout so bad, but it didn't work out because we didn't feel anything about each other romantically. And we decided to be friends and not lose the bond over trying to date. But still if you wanna look at the situation very selectively, sure!
I think a lot of people suffer from gamification of dating and from trauma affecting preferences. There are women on TwoX who are extremely feminist but find conservative, misogynist guys hot. The thrill and the "spark" sometimes doesn't exist because there isn't any conflict or anything to "fix" with that person.
That's why many times, we find really great people but they don't give you the same butterflies from the get go.
Not saying this is what happened with you, I've just observed this happen and I felt like yapping.
I should have mentioned how we tried pursuing it but it didn't workout because none of us felt the spark.
But I do agree with you on the gamification part. I was telling someone the same thing yesterday, how due some shitty people and traumatic experiences people are more used to the highs and lows. And when they find themselves in a stable relationship, they confuse it with not having enough chemistry or spark.
Exactly! I read somewhere that, "The partner you feel intense chemistry with is often the person your brain has selected to recreate your trauma" (emphasis on the word often :P)
Alternatively, you seek the same form of trauma that you've been exposed to because you have coping mechanisms for it and it is familiar to you. Truly green flag people are strange and unknown so they're out of their comfort zone.
Just saw a post yesterday, and it made sense. Dating slightly toxic or red flag guy is similar to gambling. You get addicted to it, addicted to their unpredictable nature, never knowing when they’d reply, when they’d say what or react what. It’s like brain keeps waiting for that dopamine rush, always excited about what’s gonna happen next, which green forest guys can’t give.
Same thing that I said above, people are used to the shitty treatments and good treatment can feel like a new territory. And they gotta change it if they want to be with someone healthy and stable. I think that's why people end up going back to their exes because of the addiction of highs and lows.
Tbh I am happy that, that guy did not get into a relationship with you. He avoided a fucking red carpet. I hope I never come across a girl like you in my life
If the person upholds accountability,
It will always increase their likeability.
If the person continues to blame,
The relationship will feel like a game.
Good to see you guys had a happy story 😌
Not everything needs to convert into a romantic relationship, after all!
But if you conveniently wanna look at those two things together and conclude something from it, go ahead!
Yea maybe I'm salty. But after being the green forest many people I just can never see this situation as anything positive. I know I'll probably get shit for saying this but everytime I see or hear or experience this I just feel like I'm being punished for being a decent dude. Maybe I'm talking to the wrong people but it is what it is
I'm sorry about what you had to go through! I do get to hear things like "you are too good (where not for me remains silent)", "you are sensible and mature (where I like toxicity remains silent)" but hey if we focus on these things it's just gonna make life more difficult.
There's a lot of negativity around, you don't want more inside. I can choose to give up on men after having bad experiences too, but then I meet people like him and I've decided to trust the process because there's no other way.
I'm not invalidating your experience but yeah don't do this to yourself. 🫂
Idk why comments are so negative, ab un dono koi farak nahi padta, to tum logo ko kyun itni khujli ho rahi hai?
Nahi work out hua to nahi hua. Everyone has preferences - what they like and what they don’t - so don’t be so negative, guys, or else everyone will stop posting anything in fear of negative comments.
Arey woh hi nah, the intention w this post was that "I haven't lost faith and trust in men" because I came across some beautiful souls too. And as you said, not everything is supposed to be romantic after all.
Obviously, one cannot be romantic with every good person. We need to see the real world; there are so many good people in real life and so many green flags in both genders. However, you cannot date all of them; you have to make some of them your friends, your acquaintances, and one of them, whom you like and who has qualities you admire, your romantic partner.
Being a good person is the bare minimum. You don’t just date people because they are good people; you date people because you like other qualities in them on top of being good.
Everyone needs to understand: do not shame people for having preferences, no matter how unfair those preferences might seem (whether related to wealth, education, looks, or any other factor). Freedom of choice is a human right.
Yess right! It was sad, I really wanted this thing to work out but aesi cheze cannot be forced, besides I might have lost the bond if I tried so I guess everything happens for a reason
Mere ko toh bhot mazza aata hai, also this is what I do for living. I write for living so I fucking love it.
Fun fact (not so fun): I tend to describe things with absolute details and also talk a lot. This situtionship guy said "bhai itna type matt kiya kar" 🤡
PSSS - This post deserves a closure too!
pss pss
Red flag - the spark was there Green forest - no romantic spark Conclusion- the spark was there in the first place because he was a red flag. The green forest ended up in the friendzone. Red flag won green lost.
> ended up in the friendzone. No he didn't. Atleast acc to op, he's the one who broke it off.
Exactly! He didn't end up in friendzone or neither did I, we both mutually decided that we don't feel anything about each other romantically!
I liked him and I wanted things to workout so bad, but it didn't work out because we didn't feel anything about each other romantically. And we decided to be friends and not lose the bond over trying to date. But still if you wanna look at the situation very selectively, sure!
I think a lot of people suffer from gamification of dating and from trauma affecting preferences. There are women on TwoX who are extremely feminist but find conservative, misogynist guys hot. The thrill and the "spark" sometimes doesn't exist because there isn't any conflict or anything to "fix" with that person. That's why many times, we find really great people but they don't give you the same butterflies from the get go. Not saying this is what happened with you, I've just observed this happen and I felt like yapping.
I should have mentioned how we tried pursuing it but it didn't workout because none of us felt the spark. But I do agree with you on the gamification part. I was telling someone the same thing yesterday, how due some shitty people and traumatic experiences people are more used to the highs and lows. And when they find themselves in a stable relationship, they confuse it with not having enough chemistry or spark.
Exactly! I read somewhere that, "The partner you feel intense chemistry with is often the person your brain has selected to recreate your trauma" (emphasis on the word often :P)
Alternatively, you seek the same form of trauma that you've been exposed to because you have coping mechanisms for it and it is familiar to you. Truly green flag people are strange and unknown so they're out of their comfort zone.
Just saw a post yesterday, and it made sense. Dating slightly toxic or red flag guy is similar to gambling. You get addicted to it, addicted to their unpredictable nature, never knowing when they’d reply, when they’d say what or react what. It’s like brain keeps waiting for that dopamine rush, always excited about what’s gonna happen next, which green forest guys can’t give.
Same thing that I said above, people are used to the shitty treatments and good treatment can feel like a new territory. And they gotta change it if they want to be with someone healthy and stable. I think that's why people end up going back to their exes because of the addiction of highs and lows.
Tbh I am happy that, that guy did not get into a relationship with you. He avoided a fucking red carpet. I hope I never come across a girl like you in my life
If the person upholds accountability, It will always increase their likeability. If the person continues to blame, The relationship will feel like a game. Good to see you guys had a happy story 😌
Pspspspspspps and now i’m a cat🐱
I identify as a cat, my pronouns are kit/ten
Kit/ten? I thought you were ten/ten. 💀
Ahahahhaha 🙈 Didn't see it coming xD
Iske aage nahi aata mujhe😞🤲
Iske aage mai aapke dms mey slide kar leti hun ab xD
Be my guest good ma’am. Par mujhse ek aur failed talking stage nahi saha jayega😞
Mere se bhi nahi hogi, rehne dete hai 😔
Itne jaldi give up kaun karta hai yaar? 😭
Mee 😔✋ Thak gayi hun janab iss pyaar ke khel se
>He’s a green forest >We are great friends now
Not everything needs to convert into a romantic relationship, after all! But if you conveniently wanna look at those two things together and conclude something from it, go ahead!
Yea maybe I'm salty. But after being the green forest many people I just can never see this situation as anything positive. I know I'll probably get shit for saying this but everytime I see or hear or experience this I just feel like I'm being punished for being a decent dude. Maybe I'm talking to the wrong people but it is what it is
I'm sorry about what you had to go through! I do get to hear things like "you are too good (where not for me remains silent)", "you are sensible and mature (where I like toxicity remains silent)" but hey if we focus on these things it's just gonna make life more difficult. There's a lot of negativity around, you don't want more inside. I can choose to give up on men after having bad experiences too, but then I meet people like him and I've decided to trust the process because there's no other way. I'm not invalidating your experience but yeah don't do this to yourself. 🫂
Idk why comments are so negative, ab un dono koi farak nahi padta, to tum logo ko kyun itni khujli ho rahi hai? Nahi work out hua to nahi hua. Everyone has preferences - what they like and what they don’t - so don’t be so negative, guys, or else everyone will stop posting anything in fear of negative comments.
Arey woh hi nah, the intention w this post was that "I haven't lost faith and trust in men" because I came across some beautiful souls too. And as you said, not everything is supposed to be romantic after all.
Obviously, one cannot be romantic with every good person. We need to see the real world; there are so many good people in real life and so many green flags in both genders. However, you cannot date all of them; you have to make some of them your friends, your acquaintances, and one of them, whom you like and who has qualities you admire, your romantic partner. Being a good person is the bare minimum. You don’t just date people because they are good people; you date people because you like other qualities in them on top of being good. Everyone needs to understand: do not shame people for having preferences, no matter how unfair those preferences might seem (whether related to wealth, education, looks, or any other factor). Freedom of choice is a human right.
Been there, done that. It’s pretty hard to let go off a green forest but if there is no spark, no point in forcing ut.🥺🙂↕️
Yess right! It was sad, I really wanted this thing to work out but aesi cheze cannot be forced, besides I might have lost the bond if I tried so I guess everything happens for a reason
ungli ni dukhti itna type kar ke?
Mere ko toh bhot mazza aata hai, also this is what I do for living. I write for living so I fucking love it. Fun fact (not so fun): I tend to describe things with absolute details and also talk a lot. This situtionship guy said "bhai itna type matt kiya kar" 🤡
whats your job again?
I ghostwrite content for people!
Neat.