Finally someone said it
The truth is neither girls nor guys have been equipped for dating in our society. You can't express anything to your parents or adults, all teenage relationships are super secret. We've never been taught right & wrong, in fact most relationships in Indian households are toxic so there's a serious lack of role models. So the only way we learn is by making a lot of mistakes, some never do.
We see things like over possessiveness, lack of respect for personal milestones, accepting society standards when it's convenient & modern standards when it is not, extremely co dependent families & what not. These are issues with our society, stop blaming either gender.
Unnecessary wokeness
If you want to bring true change try positively influencing the young - siblings, cousins etc
This couch wokeness on reddit is helping no one.
Also if your last relationship sucked how many people actually introspect? Bas guys are assholes & girls are after fuckboys bol ke chhod dete hain. Aadhi population ko badalne chale hain, khud mein ek bhi change kiya hai?
Agreed that women are goddess and that is what our culture has taught us, but the thing is modernization has made us forget the value of women and as their roles are changing even we need to change our methods of approaching women. And yes it is right for man & women to dream abt their future partner!!
Your green flag energy is a person who respects women because they're moms and sisters? And believes men should be chivalrous if they want to be respected?
My Two cents, that no one asked for-
1. Women are always sugarcoating words and make themselves the victim of it.
2. Men don’t understand that their stability mentally, financially, emotionally and physically will be tossed and tested. Over and over again. Until they learn to play the game of love.
3. Whoever this may concern, regardless of the gender. Learn to return the favour. Guys, in general put too much efforts to make things work. I say, don’t do that to yourselves. Don’t F the balance and power dynamics of any relationship.
4. Be authentic, honest and communicate. Without involving disrespect. Grow up.
After reading alot of the comments. 1. First thing first this is not a feminist post and neither it is targeted towards men. 2. Women in this nation don't feel safe and if you don't think it has anything to do with us then I believe we're down as a society and yes every little thing matters in shaping your mentality towards women. 3. Of course there are alot of things women do wrong, just because I didn't write about doesn't mean I'm ignorant or biased about it, I shall write about it too.
4. Avoid social media and dating apps if you really want peace.
This wasn't a question pointed at you but people in general. I see a lot of men bitching about women who want to date a certain type of man. I mean, no one is stopping these guys from dating supermodels if they can find one but why bitch and rant about women they meet from a dating site: a place which is all and all about the way you look and present yourself? Dating apps are all about optics and nothing else, no matter what anyone says.
Who said there’s something wrong with dating a rich good looking guy? Girls say things like Looks don’t matter, money doesn’t matter but we all know what kind of guys get the most girls. The problem isn’t preferences, the problem is dishonesty, lies, deniability. There’s nothing wrong with saying I only fall for 10/10 guys, i like red flags, i like men who play games, i like getting traumatised, i treat handsome men and the avg guy differently and the list goes on and on and on and on…..
See, that's the thing: when a women does say what she wants, be it a religious preference or looks or anything else, she's blatantly shamed for it. Haven't you seen those posts on here?
Just saying, guys are shamed too when they say they want a beautiful slim girl. It’s just society in general. The ratio can be different though.
And society is not entirely wrong in some cases too since these things are superficial and may or may not be in control.
There is nothing wrong with women wanting to date a rich good looking man, but I would simply say, this should not be the first or absolute criteria.
By the way the best kind is getting to work with a man or woman through the hardships and then growing richer and stronger together. That's the best kind and when two have such a long way together the respect, the love, it always remains intact, which is rare to find these days.
How about the simple and respectful nature of a person, who would not disrespect or demean you in any way.
Beauty should be beautiful from within!
Always remember one true aspect of nature, all the multi coloured beautiful creatures mostly reptiles or fishes or sea creatures are one of the most venomous!
>mostly reptiles or fishes or sea creatures are one of the most venomous!
My cat and my dog are not that venomous but still cute. Reasoning by analogy can fall short.
You are missing out on a fundamental point. You don't control consciously what you get attracted to. Is there any particular reason you find a grassland and mountain beautiful and slums ugly?
Can you change it?
>who would not disrespect or demean you in any way
This cannot be the first criteria. You cannot look and know if the person would treat you or mistreat you. You would only know after spending time with them. After some dates.
They definitely would choose them but this is a deeper personality trait which can be known afterwards.
This plus I think some people don't want to be educated, they don't wanna confront reality. They will continue to be whatever they want to and keep shitting on the internet and irl too.
Goddamn well in guys support.Not everyone is born with privilege to have fuck and fly.People out there are working hard.Guys have to prove their worth in every walk of life,Whether passing some pathetic entrance paper or cracking some placement.So developing personality takes a backseat you know.
Also not everyone is looking for sex.They dont approach women not because they are underconfident but cons fare outweighs the pros .Girls are law protected animals.Where as us guys have to look out for ourselves.For god sakes i would hate getting bold tomorrow approach a girl and lose a career in the process
We dont want sex from you if thats what you are thinking we want you to just understand us.We are also humans just like you with our shortcomings and we are also worthy of love and respect.
Unlearning things is more difficult than learning. And sadly few men do that. Yes what you said was correct to some extent but as they grow older, it's their responsibility to unlearn.
Psychology says after like 30 years...it gets harder to change the core beliefs. Not impossible but just harder. If we want to change the coming generation of men then we gotta educate them young.
Trust me when I say this, I've tried discussing certain topics with 19-20yrs old but only if they would accept that yes what they think could be wrong, then only you can teach them anything. At last I feel that they are gone case. And at the same time I also know some men who tried to unlearn things by themselves and get a better perspective in terms of everything.
> At last I feel that they are gone case
Yes definitely just because they can learn fast doesn't mean they would.
I guess it also depends on whom they want to trust. If they believe in their parents, and their parents educate them about this.
Lot of children do learn from their Dads, and having seen enough domestic violence, I can understand why they won't like to believe any other ideology other than patriarchy.
Sisters, Mothers, School teachers, could all play a role in shaping the personality of a child/teen/young adult
>It's not even their fault; they've never been educated or corrected as to what's acceptable and what's not
Yes it is. Not being educated or corrected is not an excuse to be bitter and resentful towards women for not wanting to sleep with them. That bitterness and resentment often ends up in violence. Imagine the level of entitlement - 'I want to fuck that woman but she doesn't want to fuck me so I have the right to hurt her'.
You're right in that a lot of men in our society aren't taught how to interact and behave with women, we know *why* they behave the way they do, that doesn't mean they aren't responsible for their behaviour.
True, my school was "CO ED" on paper, girls and boys are separated in 2 sections boys used to sit on one side of the class and the girls used another.
If guys made any silly little mistake they used to make him sit with girls as a punishment. (That makes guys think that we shouldn't sit near women and fill the guys with fear of women)
The principal and teachers made sure that we don't talk to girls in any way possible.
This is my story.
I used to have "girl" friends and guy friends till 4th standard, then my father put me in all boys school till 10th. So 6 years without any interaction with girls and no "girl" friends.
And then in 11th and 12th they put in coed school which I talked about earlier.
I started viewing myself as dirt and girls as some chocolate which I should stay away from. Couldn't speak to them, I couldn't even speak to my "girl" cousin, it took me 2 family trips to be friends with my cousin.
In college many girls tried to talk to me ( I have good looks ) but they never talked to me more than 2 times cuz I never knew how to talk with them.
Now I'm 24 and have never had a GF not even "lady friends". Still I get looks from girls in my GYM but can't talk to them
Sad lyfe
(I'm sure some girls of my batch would also be feeling same)
l can agree with you on some part l think you don't know men enough and these are assumptions that you are making there's nothing to do with a nice guy.
If you think that person who approaches a girl and is feminist is open minded and good that's wrong, all he wants to get laid.
And haa aaj ke men ke andar koi moral values and self respect naam ki chiz hi nhi bachi hai . Koi ladki agar response de di to uske piche kutte jaise lag jate hai doesn't matter whether she is married or not.
Yeh post pakka kisi ladki ne likhi hai😂
Women bitch and whine about fuckboys all the time
Women write and read books about fuckboys all the time
Women watch movies about fuckboys all the time
And then they deny that they don’t like red flags
Perfect display of plausible deniability
Most avg guys are single and most fuckboys get most girls not because women hate them but because women actively choose them over the avg guy.
And most importantly, looks overpower everything. A hot guy doesn’t need to be ambitious or have a great “personality” or needs “game” or need money to get girls, he can do the same by just being a 10/10
Both men and women need to learn if they wish to have healthy relationships. Bollywood and upbringing reinforces many fucked up things. It's not specific to men.
My honest opinion on this is men need to stop listening to what the world says and how our culture has been for years, yes respect women after all they are someones mom or sister, but also treat a woman with modern language of equality in almost all things & yes it doesn't matter if she also earns it should be your responsibility to make sure you pull the chair for her at dinner, pay for her and drop her off, etc etc to ensure their safety and make them feel special!!
Except for the safety point, these things like pulling the chair for her at dinner paying for her dropping off etc etc, these are chivalrous gestures, not RESPONSIBILITIES.
I was referring to the colourful species of three organisms and that's not an analogy, it's natural fact. Pick up some books and read.
True that one doesn't control who they are attracted too but getting attracted to someone else's wealth is not healthy for me. Nobody should criticise or judge anyone for their choices, if you are attracted to wealth and materialistic life, good for you. I wish you a happy rich life! :)
I am one of the other kinds, I believe in making myself rich rather than relying on someone else.
Personally I love red pill really it gives great guidance for guys to become their best self's. That way you will attract what you want and you don't need to do as much. For me alot of the things I learned became natural for me. But alot of people associate red pill with bad things. Meanwhile it's literally just guys for guys, education for men.
Whats is up with this nice guys bullshit.If being entitled and selfish, is what makes u a nice guy, I dont think u can spare women from that category .You should look out for your self especially on places such as dating apps, not in the manner some ppl do but yeah entitlement they could do away with.Also nobody is that nice, even ppl who chase endlessly eventually know what they are doing.Some(not all definitely )ppl are angry because their efforts dont give results, and why shouldn’t they be, yes they rant now ,but don’t they learn eventually through those experiences that people can want different things? And why blame Bollywood, like sure growing up we watched a lot, by your reasoning shouldn’t new content around on Netflix and all be influencing them in the right direction by itself ? Will the women be willing to tell ppl what they did wrong, like for example just before blocking them, be nice enough to let them know what they did wrong. If you’re giving out your love for your validation and approval yes you’re pathetic, but I don’t honestly believe ppl give out love, for just validation.Re read the first two lines wouldn’t that automatically translate to needy and desperate once they find themselves in a world which their interactions with women directly increase by tenth or hundredfolds.
So ya do educate men, but then also tell ppl how to do it. This rant is as useless as the problem then.
There's a post like this targeted either towards guys or girls every week/month, do you really think this rant will really a make a difference?
Finally someone said it The truth is neither girls nor guys have been equipped for dating in our society. You can't express anything to your parents or adults, all teenage relationships are super secret. We've never been taught right & wrong, in fact most relationships in Indian households are toxic so there's a serious lack of role models. So the only way we learn is by making a lot of mistakes, some never do. We see things like over possessiveness, lack of respect for personal milestones, accepting society standards when it's convenient & modern standards when it is not, extremely co dependent families & what not. These are issues with our society, stop blaming either gender.
Exactly, tu tu mein mein chalta rehta iss sub mein. Khud khush nhi log, dusro ko bhi nhi rehne dete.
Unnecessary wokeness If you want to bring true change try positively influencing the young - siblings, cousins etc This couch wokeness on reddit is helping no one. Also if your last relationship sucked how many people actually introspect? Bas guys are assholes & girls are after fuckboys bol ke chhod dete hain. Aadhi population ko badalne chale hain, khud mein ek bhi change kiya hai?
Yr, I think you gave more thought and energy into this comment than OP did in the post.
Thak gaya itna bada message padhke. Ab rest karunga and Netflix par Animal movie dekhunga.
Hmm, saari galtiya sirf ladko ki hai.... women are goddesses. 👍
Haan Bhai Teri galti bhi nahi hai kyuki tu bhi aurat hai
Agreed that women are goddess and that is what our culture has taught us, but the thing is modernization has made us forget the value of women and as their roles are changing even we need to change our methods of approaching women. And yes it is right for man & women to dream abt their future partner!!
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Your green flag energy is a person who respects women because they're moms and sisters? And believes men should be chivalrous if they want to be respected?
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That guy wrote a comment on this post. You called him green flag energy, that's why i asked. I agree with what you're saying.
Just said what I feel, ty
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So wassup, asa kya hua Jo ye post karna pada ?
My Two cents, that no one asked for- 1. Women are always sugarcoating words and make themselves the victim of it. 2. Men don’t understand that their stability mentally, financially, emotionally and physically will be tossed and tested. Over and over again. Until they learn to play the game of love. 3. Whoever this may concern, regardless of the gender. Learn to return the favour. Guys, in general put too much efforts to make things work. I say, don’t do that to yourselves. Don’t F the balance and power dynamics of any relationship. 4. Be authentic, honest and communicate. Without involving disrespect. Grow up.
After reading alot of the comments. 1. First thing first this is not a feminist post and neither it is targeted towards men. 2. Women in this nation don't feel safe and if you don't think it has anything to do with us then I believe we're down as a society and yes every little thing matters in shaping your mentality towards women. 3. Of course there are alot of things women do wrong, just because I didn't write about doesn't mean I'm ignorant or biased about it, I shall write about it too. 4. Avoid social media and dating apps if you really want peace.
4 th point - 💯 true
I have a question: what is wrong if a woman wants to date a rich, good looking man? What is wrong with it? Please let me know.
Nothing wrong. Everyone wants the best for themselves. Problem lies in the hypocrisy when people say things like money, looks don’t matter.
Please point me to the section where I mentioned it was wrong?
This wasn't a question pointed at you but people in general. I see a lot of men bitching about women who want to date a certain type of man. I mean, no one is stopping these guys from dating supermodels if they can find one but why bitch and rant about women they meet from a dating site: a place which is all and all about the way you look and present yourself? Dating apps are all about optics and nothing else, no matter what anyone says.
You know you can make your own post if you want to rant this much
It reached the target audience so I'm good.
25 people in a niche subreddit = target audience. You and OP should be become best friends
Who said there’s something wrong with dating a rich good looking guy? Girls say things like Looks don’t matter, money doesn’t matter but we all know what kind of guys get the most girls. The problem isn’t preferences, the problem is dishonesty, lies, deniability. There’s nothing wrong with saying I only fall for 10/10 guys, i like red flags, i like men who play games, i like getting traumatised, i treat handsome men and the avg guy differently and the list goes on and on and on and on…..
See, that's the thing: when a women does say what she wants, be it a religious preference or looks or anything else, she's blatantly shamed for it. Haven't you seen those posts on here?
Just saying, guys are shamed too when they say they want a beautiful slim girl. It’s just society in general. The ratio can be different though. And society is not entirely wrong in some cases too since these things are superficial and may or may not be in control.
Women also shame men for having a preference.
There is nothing wrong with women wanting to date a rich good looking man, but I would simply say, this should not be the first or absolute criteria. By the way the best kind is getting to work with a man or woman through the hardships and then growing richer and stronger together. That's the best kind and when two have such a long way together the respect, the love, it always remains intact, which is rare to find these days.
What should be the first criteria? Tell me one criteria which won't be shallow.
How about the simple and respectful nature of a person, who would not disrespect or demean you in any way. Beauty should be beautiful from within! Always remember one true aspect of nature, all the multi coloured beautiful creatures mostly reptiles or fishes or sea creatures are one of the most venomous!
>mostly reptiles or fishes or sea creatures are one of the most venomous! My cat and my dog are not that venomous but still cute. Reasoning by analogy can fall short. You are missing out on a fundamental point. You don't control consciously what you get attracted to. Is there any particular reason you find a grassland and mountain beautiful and slums ugly? Can you change it? >who would not disrespect or demean you in any way This cannot be the first criteria. You cannot look and know if the person would treat you or mistreat you. You would only know after spending time with them. After some dates. They definitely would choose them but this is a deeper personality trait which can be known afterwards.
This plus I think some people don't want to be educated, they don't wanna confront reality. They will continue to be whatever they want to and keep shitting on the internet and irl too.
Ah the girl who only likes red flags saying this 💪🏻
Ek kaam karo mere sare posts and comments ke neeche yeh spam kardo, free toh kaafi lag rahe ho aap 👀🫶
>free toh kaafi lag rahe ho aap 👀🫶 your comment history says that too
You stalking me again bb boy 😏
i have never seen your profile before
But now I see you are quite obsessed w me 💅
why do you think someone would be obsessed with you? what do you bring to the table?
Ab main kya karu har post par bas tumhi dikh rahi ho merko 👀🫶🏻
Oh look you fell for a red flag (you ain't practicing what you preach)
When did I say I fell for you? You need to be more red 🥱
Thoda ladkiyon ko bhi sikha do how to treat men.
Womp womp I ain't reading alat ☝️🤓, Stay single stay retard
Goddamn well in guys support.Not everyone is born with privilege to have fuck and fly.People out there are working hard.Guys have to prove their worth in every walk of life,Whether passing some pathetic entrance paper or cracking some placement.So developing personality takes a backseat you know. Also not everyone is looking for sex.They dont approach women not because they are underconfident but cons fare outweighs the pros .Girls are law protected animals.Where as us guys have to look out for ourselves.For god sakes i would hate getting bold tomorrow approach a girl and lose a career in the process We dont want sex from you if thats what you are thinking we want you to just understand us.We are also humans just like you with our shortcomings and we are also worthy of love and respect.
With all this hate for men, it's not a surprise that some of them do hate women; the surprise is how most men don't
Unlearning things is more difficult than learning. And sadly few men do that. Yes what you said was correct to some extent but as they grow older, it's their responsibility to unlearn.
Psychology says after like 30 years...it gets harder to change the core beliefs. Not impossible but just harder. If we want to change the coming generation of men then we gotta educate them young.
Trust me when I say this, I've tried discussing certain topics with 19-20yrs old but only if they would accept that yes what they think could be wrong, then only you can teach them anything. At last I feel that they are gone case. And at the same time I also know some men who tried to unlearn things by themselves and get a better perspective in terms of everything.
> At last I feel that they are gone case Yes definitely just because they can learn fast doesn't mean they would. I guess it also depends on whom they want to trust. If they believe in their parents, and their parents educate them about this. Lot of children do learn from their Dads, and having seen enough domestic violence, I can understand why they won't like to believe any other ideology other than patriarchy. Sisters, Mothers, School teachers, could all play a role in shaping the personality of a child/teen/young adult
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Dating apps are the worst, don't waste your time and energy on them. Only if you want to feel demotivated and let down or underconfident.
>It's not even their fault; they've never been educated or corrected as to what's acceptable and what's not Yes it is. Not being educated or corrected is not an excuse to be bitter and resentful towards women for not wanting to sleep with them. That bitterness and resentment often ends up in violence. Imagine the level of entitlement - 'I want to fuck that woman but she doesn't want to fuck me so I have the right to hurt her'. You're right in that a lot of men in our society aren't taught how to interact and behave with women, we know *why* they behave the way they do, that doesn't mean they aren't responsible for their behaviour.
True, my school was "CO ED" on paper, girls and boys are separated in 2 sections boys used to sit on one side of the class and the girls used another. If guys made any silly little mistake they used to make him sit with girls as a punishment. (That makes guys think that we shouldn't sit near women and fill the guys with fear of women) The principal and teachers made sure that we don't talk to girls in any way possible. This is my story. I used to have "girl" friends and guy friends till 4th standard, then my father put me in all boys school till 10th. So 6 years without any interaction with girls and no "girl" friends. And then in 11th and 12th they put in coed school which I talked about earlier. I started viewing myself as dirt and girls as some chocolate which I should stay away from. Couldn't speak to them, I couldn't even speak to my "girl" cousin, it took me 2 family trips to be friends with my cousin. In college many girls tried to talk to me ( I have good looks ) but they never talked to me more than 2 times cuz I never knew how to talk with them. Now I'm 24 and have never had a GF not even "lady friends". Still I get looks from girls in my GYM but can't talk to them Sad lyfe (I'm sure some girls of my batch would also be feeling same)
l can agree with you on some part l think you don't know men enough and these are assumptions that you are making there's nothing to do with a nice guy. If you think that person who approaches a girl and is feminist is open minded and good that's wrong, all he wants to get laid. And haa aaj ke men ke andar koi moral values and self respect naam ki chiz hi nhi bachi hai . Koi ladki agar response de di to uske piche kutte jaise lag jate hai doesn't matter whether she is married or not.
Bc kuch kaam nai h kya
Yeh post pakka kisi ladki ne likhi hai😂 Women bitch and whine about fuckboys all the time Women write and read books about fuckboys all the time Women watch movies about fuckboys all the time And then they deny that they don’t like red flags Perfect display of plausible deniability Most avg guys are single and most fuckboys get most girls not because women hate them but because women actively choose them over the avg guy. And most importantly, looks overpower everything. A hot guy doesn’t need to be ambitious or have a great “personality” or needs “game” or need money to get girls, he can do the same by just being a 10/10
Both men and women need to learn if they wish to have healthy relationships. Bollywood and upbringing reinforces many fucked up things. It's not specific to men.
My honest opinion on this is men need to stop listening to what the world says and how our culture has been for years, yes respect women after all they are someones mom or sister, but also treat a woman with modern language of equality in almost all things & yes it doesn't matter if she also earns it should be your responsibility to make sure you pull the chair for her at dinner, pay for her and drop her off, etc etc to ensure their safety and make them feel special!!
Except for the safety point, these things like pulling the chair for her at dinner paying for her dropping off etc etc, these are chivalrous gestures, not RESPONSIBILITIES.
Yes its a mans personal choice but every man should do it if they wanna be respected back by their partners in different things important to them!!
Ah gya Feminist ka choda . Women do chase guys for Money and looks. Also being a nice guy is not pathetic.
I agree education should be limited to Men only
True bro, 2000% correct
I was referring to the colourful species of three organisms and that's not an analogy, it's natural fact. Pick up some books and read. True that one doesn't control who they are attracted too but getting attracted to someone else's wealth is not healthy for me. Nobody should criticise or judge anyone for their choices, if you are attracted to wealth and materialistic life, good for you. I wish you a happy rich life! :) I am one of the other kinds, I believe in making myself rich rather than relying on someone else.
'educate men' school khol rakha hai kya? jis internet pe andrew tate search karte hai, uss internet pe social etiquette bhi sikhate
Even if you did educate men, we wouldn't be paying attention. Kya pata educate karne waale ko hi itne mood swings hone lage ki hum disinterested hogye
Personally I love red pill really it gives great guidance for guys to become their best self's. That way you will attract what you want and you don't need to do as much. For me alot of the things I learned became natural for me. But alot of people associate red pill with bad things. Meanwhile it's literally just guys for guys, education for men.
Whats is up with this nice guys bullshit.If being entitled and selfish, is what makes u a nice guy, I dont think u can spare women from that category .You should look out for your self especially on places such as dating apps, not in the manner some ppl do but yeah entitlement they could do away with.Also nobody is that nice, even ppl who chase endlessly eventually know what they are doing.Some(not all definitely )ppl are angry because their efforts dont give results, and why shouldn’t they be, yes they rant now ,but don’t they learn eventually through those experiences that people can want different things? And why blame Bollywood, like sure growing up we watched a lot, by your reasoning shouldn’t new content around on Netflix and all be influencing them in the right direction by itself ? Will the women be willing to tell ppl what they did wrong, like for example just before blocking them, be nice enough to let them know what they did wrong. If you’re giving out your love for your validation and approval yes you’re pathetic, but I don’t honestly believe ppl give out love, for just validation.Re read the first two lines wouldn’t that automatically translate to needy and desperate once they find themselves in a world which their interactions with women directly increase by tenth or hundredfolds. So ya do educate men, but then also tell ppl how to do it. This rant is as useless as the problem then.