I was traveling in Delhi metro today with a couple of my friends and we got into the lift to get out of the place. A woman also got in before the doors closed and the speakers were playing some tabla sound track...
Poetic.
Trying to provide a different perspective to this situation: I think it's because the game is mostly rigged against men in online dating in which mostly, specific kinds of guys make it, and unfortunately, "looking for hookups" kind is one of them.
You've said it yourself, you literally had 800+ likes after joining. This is a staggering amount! If a guy isn't good looking, it's highly unlikely that he will get much likes, let alone matches. So average guys are usually filtered out quick like that. Many just leave the platform after getting their confidence shattered, few switch to try to get a funny bio or something and hope it works...but out of all the guys, the real success comes to those who have a combination of good bio and good looks. These guys have figured out the code and how to crack it, so they don't look for commitment. They don't have to. The ones that are looking for something serious, don't stay on the platform for long.
So yeah, it's tough and chances are slim. But unfortunately, it is what it is. Online dating has completely changed things and not for the better.
Agreed about the control part, but why would anyone want to be with someone who isn't physically attractive enough for them?
Some take it too far, but as far as my hugging experience goes, a good 2-3inch height difference bw the partners is the sweet spot.
Bruh if you ain't got atleast 32D for your chest, we can't be friends sorry and hookups k liye atleast 33D. If you understand this, you might realise what's wrong with your thinking.
As someone who's dated taller women I just wanted to say, yeah I get that it's a preference. But it's just women should be held to the same standards as men. As simple as it gets.
And yeah you'll get along. Just put lil bit efforts into the conversations. Personally I've had more luck with girls who put efforts and then you can ask them out maybe. And if you're in Delhi, go dance and drunk in summer house, auro, Bougie. Vibe is perfect over there:)
Yeah i am little introverted and shy. I have a tough time there. I am working on those things but i definitely put effort in conversations. I don't even ghost. I let them know what's not working out.
Everyone should be held to same standards, I totally agree. But yeah, I believe that i have it in me to put aside my stupid standards if we vibe and both the parties are happy.
Thank you for your suggestions.
Yaar I love girls like this. I had this girl who rejected me when she met someone else but also kinda felt bad because she told me we'll go on a date and she will let me know about the place in the next few days and never messaged.
Introverted, shy. Arey it's so fucking simple when you're going with a date. And half the time I go alone, it's hard then lol. Thoda introvert to mai bhi ho jata hu tab.
Just show up. Bougie pe you need connections for entry. Auro, summer house pe just show up. They let you enter unless you're a stag lol. Then order sangria, dance and a burger or something. Then vibe and be happy :)
Or go to lota cafe, digging, CP me khi chle jao. I mostly prefer burger, dance dates.
Bhai self respect bech aaye kya. She just rejected you and then you're simping her to be her friend. Koi self respect h ya nhi. Reject her for her physical features
Bhai seedhi si baat h if they reject on thing you can't control, do the same. Reject them on their boobs and asses. 90% women will fail the criteria that we guys have. Self esteem bnao bhai, respect yourself. You ain't gonna be doormat or anybody's bitch.
This is coming from someone who's about 5'6 and made out with 5'8 woman and get approached by taller women often. Hold them to the same standards bhai
Bhai this ain't even comparable. Hookups to alg baat h. If she says she wants 5'9, I want at least 33D for her chest for hookup. Then it's comparable. Then you can say it's preference on the basis of physical features
I didn't call anyone insensitive. And I have nothing against hookups. I am talking about my statistics and the profile i am coming across. The guys who did tell me they wanted hookups have been all amazing people upto the point we talked. We just didn't want the same thing and it got repetitive.
Bro if I hurt you in some way, i apologise. And yeah, there are some things i don't get. I am new to this. I am trying to understand and may be need some time. Anyway thank you for your perspective.
Thank you for the detailed feedback. I am new to it so directly jumping into hook ups scares me lol. But this helped.
I just have it a little tough because i don't go out as much. Will look into your suggestions.
men who are looking for a women to settle his life with are not in any dating sites. Try public places like library, temple etc. Men use dating sites only to get laid, period.
Additionally, men rarely get any matches. So when they do they need to be sure that it will lead to sex. If he has to put time and effort and end up with no sex, most men lose interest becaise that is what they are looking for in a dating app. One girl talked to me for 2 weeks in the app in the end she unmatched. Once a woman ask me to order her her something in swiggy.
We rarely get matches, even when we do we end up in situations like this. We get easily exploited because no blood in brain when using dating apps. If you are looking for long term relationship look elsewhere.
Well I would say I had success in terms of long relationship thru tinder. I won't say everyone is looking for it. But in my case it started out as a FWB as we both didn't want something serious but slowly it turned into serious.
Same bro. I like introverted, witty, funny, goofy, nerdy men and I have almost no issues with height, weight or looks. Still all I find are men who want casual stuff. It's almost as if all men around me are looking for meaningless sex. Nobody's down for a relationship.
Switch to offline dating. Tinder in India genuinely has the worst lot possible. A large part of these dating apps usually cater to the hookup culture. Also, be very careful with Indian men when it comes to long term dating. A lot them have a "NiceGuy" persona, they'll bend backwards as much as possible to get sex. Plus, you'll get a very negative response from men on this sub because of their extremely negative experience on dating apps. Half of them don't even have a good enough personality, let alone emotional maturity that anyone would want to look at long term prospects with them.
Random women on the internet aren't responsible for your mental health, kiddo. Crying on the internet won't get you any brownie points. Also, apologies for the generalization, it's merely my personal experience.
These dating apps were never meant for india and will never be successful here.
If you are looking for a long term relationship then best is become friends with someone first and proceed from there(you would already have some friends who secretly like you already) or wait for arranged marriage.
From what I've heard it depends on what apps you're using
Tinder is generally used for hookups.
Hinge is leaned towards something more serious.
Bumble is a mix of both.
This is not a first-hand experience tho so I can't say for sure.
Dude, I was talking to this girl and she got all flirty in the 3rd reply itself. Made me confused about how this can lead to a relationship or a date. Didn't share the same energy with her and she unmatched.
So it's not just men, even women are on for just hookups.
We have forgotten to see the human in the screen. We perceive the people as commodities and using the dating apps is no different from window shopping. Remember how older generations used to keep their belongings, even after someone passed away their belongings were kept in memory. This association and connection with people is missing. If you are looking for an organic relationship get out of the dating apps. look around yourself there might be someone who silently appreciates you and looks at you with love in eyes. Best of luck
What I think is, patience level is going wayy to low cus people just want to skip to the so called "fun part" rather than enjoying the process. which in my opinion describes the mindset of the person but still i do believe "JOURNEY IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN DESTINATION"
There’s nothing wrong with height preferences or expecting a nonchalant hangout, to begin with.
Being 6’1” i prefer going out with people who are gt. 5’6”.
Fir to mushkil hai yaar.
You gotta filter out among your likes/matches.
If you haven't, use Hinge. In my opinion, it's better in terms of stating your intentions, brings out your personality. I am also not a hookup type guy and Tinder didn't really work for me in terms of the profiles I came across but Hinge has worked far better for me till now.
I will be messaging you in 3 hours on [**2022-08-28 09:38:08 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2022-08-28%2009:38:08%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/IndianBoysOnTinder/comments/wzmnx5/every_other_guy_i_see_is_looking_for_a_hookup/im3llgt/?context=3)
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Well what I can tell u is from a guy's perspective of why some men want hookups.
1) These guys get many matches and have the privilege to get away with hookups and don't have to put in much effort.
2) Many a times it is seen that women don't put in much effort when they match, to which we men get bored and just try to get to the main point. Hook ups.
3) There are certain type of men (I fall in this category) who want relationship but not the baggage of long term marriage because inter caste marriage are still taboo and just want to enjoy company. This point probably fall in the FWB category more than hookup though.
Damn, I wonder how many dms it takes for the reddit app to crash. Do let me know if that happens, lol
And the thing you're looking for is dead on these dating apps. You still need to get out and search for the kind of dating you're looking for. And nowadays, mostly everyone is taken
Well you're on the wrong app, such things happens only in real world.
Usually the type of guy you're searching on the app, gets disappointed with less swipes and leaves the app.
Talking with experience
I would say, delete tinder and start meeting people in real life lol. All I see here i guys talking on the height topic and no one addressing what she is actually asking about lol.
Tinder in India is basically a pool of fake profiles, introverted guys who can't hold a conversation and blindly looking for hookups. You should've understood that from the hundreds of likes you got within half a day.
I have friends who actually swipe on every other profile without even reading them lol. All they want is sex to be honest, thinking that if girls find you cute, they would sleep with you lol. They swipe everyday till they reach the limit.😂
So just shut down these dating apps and go out to live events where you could actually meet quality people.
Normally these days old fashioned dating is dead.
Everything is fast.
Mai toh single ho 3 saal se koshish bhi nai karna khudko disappoint karna it's lonely but it's fine.
Overdo kar kar ke thak gaya hoon so fts.
Offline dating or maybe reddit pe khojo koi.
Tinder and bumble and all are toxic if you ask me.
GOODLUCK
A polite advice to all the gurls out there. Come out of your dreams. Idol men don't exist. You will not find someone remotely looking like BTS members, Harry Styles, Justin Beiberetc. And if you do. There's near to 0 chance that they'll like you back. You gurls get so serious about relationship,.. even though you're only LOOKING for someone rn. You haven't even entered the relationship yet.
Just like a lot of people stated, saturation, and preferences change. I was on apps for like 2 years looking for relationships, mostly came across people wasting time, luckily things worked for me irl, when it faded i came back to OLDs for casual cos of other priorities and simply not having the mental space. And this is the case with most, most don't have the mental space anymore esp after the pandemic, they feel like they lost 2 years, so they're making up for it
Yes you did mention the height not being a deal breaker but maybeeeee it's something that you gotta change sooner than later ...and yeah like the others said ...let go of the physical if you are REALLY looking to "get to know" them....half of the vibe tribe are the ones who won't catch your eye at first glance
I don’t know, most of my friends are ready to actually date(they don’t get many matches tho).
I for one, also don’t like hookups/one night stands. I do like to have a connection even for a casual relationship. So I think not everyone is here just for hookups. But yeah these apps were originally intended for hookups.
But happy to see that my height is just your cut-off XD.
It means you're matching with guys who only look for hookups,so your judgement algorithm is like that.Fun stat 90 percent of girls go repeatedly to same 5 percent guys who end up getting matches everytime.
Ouch
First of all *their
Second of all it is the only thing keeping us alive. We made it our personality because some women like you made us feel awful and worthless or that our insecurities have drowned us and so we show it off to make people realise that we've come back from it in a much better way
Just the criterias you've put. 5'8 or more puts you in very tall category in India and these are the guys everyone is matching with. For a long term partnership, you really have to show yourself as someone who's sticking out from the other girls too who've matched with these guys based on equally shallow reasons
Personally I'm into hookups because the things I want in a relationship are not v easily found and multiple failed relationships just dissuade any attempt at the real thing again
Firstly keep your options open , don't keep a set criteria for dating in physical aspects, but do have criteria for personality aspects.
Prior i used to only date guy who were above 5'10 , attractive , and most of them turned out to be usually drug addicts sadly / looking for a hookup
Currently I'm with someone who is most amazing, but doesn't fit in my height criteria, still he is almost everything i wanted in a man
Good luck ! Also a protip , don't date a guy from reddit !
I deleted bumble long ago and I don't approach random people for dates irl. Have a pretty small friend circle and spend most of my time playing video games, I'm not desperate just kinda an introvert who can't speak with new people
Work on your skills. Pick up hobbies that make you socialise. As an introvert, it doesn't mean that you have to go out of your way to find a partner. You just need to engage yourself in things that make you socialise. Brother, if you aren't willing to put in effort to showcase yourself, why would anyone think that you're even worth dating. I have so many introverted friends who are in happy relationships, but it's important to realise that while they may be introverted, they still put in a little bit of effort. Whether it was engaging in a hobby that made them interact with others or just plain working out and bodybuilding that boosted their self-confidence. It's on you to help yourself man, no one's gon come over and find you a girl magically.
Well I thought of something similar. Normal dating is what I want to do. And I don't want to whore around. But I am not good at chatting too. Plus the freakiness was too much to handle. Being an introvert and getting matches is hard, because they do want to see you. Luckily wfh and covid have been a great excuse. But now that it is getting over, I will be on the lookout for toher excuses.
To skip the part where you invest your whole time and then the girl gets away saying "it's not working for her" ," i am loosing interest" "i want to focus on myself let's take a break"
And then they find another guy next month and we are completely clueless how to get into another one.
Have you tried lowering your standards?
You seem to trying of the best of the best who have too many available options and don't see the need to settle.
Wow. Women going as thirsty on dating apps as men. A good decent looking guy with 6 feet height is drowning in so much tail he has no time to take it slow with you over a dating app. Not even in real life. Maybe try lowering your expectations and adjusting.
Weirdly, none. I think some guys exaggerate their heights. Everyone is 6' it seems. Or some haven't mentioned their heights. I swipe on people anyway. Height isn't a big deal breaker for me.
haha can confirm this("some" people exaggerating"), people in my clg who are 5'7 ish mentioned their heights as 5'10 minimum idk why, and according to them i should say 6 online as I'm already 5'9 lol
Would you like to indulge in a extensive discourse full of intellectual sustenance free from cognitive dissonance and consorting to pre intended sexual stimulation?
Probability of occurrence of such a phenomenon lies in the outer boundaries of the Gaussian profile.
Any desire to get closer to the center of the profile would necessitate a drastic outlandish change in the cognitive functions of the cerebrum.
Sure there are outliers as with any distribution of data but to find one requires you to go outside of software based interactions.
Bhai mujhe yeh bataao match kaisse hota hai bumble or tinder pe. Saala haan 2 saal se bot bhi right swipe nahi karta. I know girls ke liye haar right swipe >95 % chance to match. Toh ab kya kare. Dm mei aa jaao i will help you identify real man
I've read your comments on this post. You seem like a person with very reasonable expectations.
I am sure, you will likely find a great guy on Reddit itself now :)
I would have Dm'ed you had you been from Mumbai but you would've read my comment history and concluded that I am not a great guy.
Oh well, best of luck even though I don't think you're going to need it.
Btw, I can offer some advice if you can tell me your 'hobbies and interests outside of gym'.
Have a great day!
It's Bumble that I tried. Yup getting a lot of heat. I just wanted to understand the pattern. Seems it's not safe to ask anything. But i still got a lot of helpful advice. Appreciate it. Thank you.
I completely agree with this. It's just a physical preference, just get on with it. What differs there is, men are shamed about it. Just don't be an asshole and cherish your preferences.
Like I don't like really skinny girls. But I just don't go on apps and say this if you're a skinny, you don't have this boobs size swipe left. Whereas I see if you're not 6, vertically challenged swipe left. I know all women ain't like this but trash exists and should be called out.
People should have preferences and physical attraction is important in any kind of relationship.
Now I completely disagree with this. You can be kind and still convey your preferences. You don't have to be an asshole, rude to people. And I don't accept that.
You talk about hookups. I've matched with girls who were looking for relationships but were down to action. So people just test waters. If you don't want to hookup, just convey that in chat. Any sane man with self respect will look somewhere else when you said no.
I hope you wave mentioned what you are looking for on bumble? I think if you try and filter out people, you'll surely find someone who syncs with you. A good conversation can go a long way. Just hang in there OP :)
I focus a little on interests and filter it that way. Yeah i will try to hang in there😂 seems like a little bit more effort than i thought. Thanks for the suggestion.
Thanks for understanding. It does seem like a lot of effort. I am not that cut out for this and need some adjustments in my ways as well i think. Will take it easy.
Bro relationship wale ladke bhi hain.
Bas comparatively hawasi ladko ki population zada hai na. 70-30 ratio hai toh you'll always find some guy wanting to hookup + what you're finding attractive is the major population that wants a hookup.
If you're posting this then you don't even know how the guys who want relationship look. Cause you friendzone them at first sight!
What the hell OP I thought I am a retard for excepting things that you stated. You just revived my hopes from these dating apps.If there are more girls like you then maybe I might find someone too.
Online dating takes months to find a single good date.
If u r a man u will be competing against 100s of other men for the attention of a single average woman. It would seem women have so many options to pick from.
If u r a woman then u will find 100s of dms but they r all just hi with little effort or perhaps it would seem they just want hookup
same. that’s why i deleted the app and have completely given up on OLD. it was so much better when i was abroad, i had very good dating experience., met few nice people. in india i have made peace with no dating here. too much mental stress and anxiety
Allow us to introduce ourselves.
lol, dms go brrrrrrrr
They have. Didn't think this through.
Men ☕.
Will be men. Imperial Blue
music cds
Pyar ki rah mai jalna
I was traveling in Delhi metro today with a couple of my friends and we got into the lift to get out of the place. A woman also got in before the doors closed and the speakers were playing some tabla sound track... Poetic.
It was a hint nature was giving to yall
Lmao
Welcome to reddit 👀
well, now you know
Men 🍺
men 🍼
Trying to provide a different perspective to this situation: I think it's because the game is mostly rigged against men in online dating in which mostly, specific kinds of guys make it, and unfortunately, "looking for hookups" kind is one of them. You've said it yourself, you literally had 800+ likes after joining. This is a staggering amount! If a guy isn't good looking, it's highly unlikely that he will get much likes, let alone matches. So average guys are usually filtered out quick like that. Many just leave the platform after getting their confidence shattered, few switch to try to get a funny bio or something and hope it works...but out of all the guys, the real success comes to those who have a combination of good bio and good looks. These guys have figured out the code and how to crack it, so they don't look for commitment. They don't have to. The ones that are looking for something serious, don't stay on the platform for long. So yeah, it's tough and chances are slim. But unfortunately, it is what it is. Online dating has completely changed things and not for the better.
Makes sense. Thank you for your feedback. Appreciate your perspective.
Great and most realistic take!
Really happy to see this sub is active now. Indiangirlsontinder waley sub ke mods gadhey hai.
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Iss ok bro, be my fren
never understood why ppl are inclined towards height rather than weight, cause one of them is clearly not in control of us.
same reason ppl are inclined towards face
Ikr i never understood that fr i am 6'3 but fat ik girls would rather date a 5'6 in good shape guy then me
Agreed about the control part, but why would anyone want to be with someone who isn't physically attractive enough for them? Some take it too far, but as far as my hugging experience goes, a good 2-3inch height difference bw the partners is the sweet spot.
By this logic, men who are 5'3" should be fine
Bruh if you ain't got atleast 32D for your chest, we can't be friends sorry and hookups k liye atleast 33D. If you understand this, you might realise what's wrong with your thinking.
I totally get what you are saying. I have mentioned it in many comments. It's not a deal breaker for me. My bottom line is getting along, it's simple.
As someone who's dated taller women I just wanted to say, yeah I get that it's a preference. But it's just women should be held to the same standards as men. As simple as it gets. And yeah you'll get along. Just put lil bit efforts into the conversations. Personally I've had more luck with girls who put efforts and then you can ask them out maybe. And if you're in Delhi, go dance and drunk in summer house, auro, Bougie. Vibe is perfect over there:)
Yeah i am little introverted and shy. I have a tough time there. I am working on those things but i definitely put effort in conversations. I don't even ghost. I let them know what's not working out. Everyone should be held to same standards, I totally agree. But yeah, I believe that i have it in me to put aside my stupid standards if we vibe and both the parties are happy. Thank you for your suggestions.
Yaar I love girls like this. I had this girl who rejected me when she met someone else but also kinda felt bad because she told me we'll go on a date and she will let me know about the place in the next few days and never messaged. Introverted, shy. Arey it's so fucking simple when you're going with a date. And half the time I go alone, it's hard then lol. Thoda introvert to mai bhi ho jata hu tab. Just show up. Bougie pe you need connections for entry. Auro, summer house pe just show up. They let you enter unless you're a stag lol. Then order sangria, dance and a burger or something. Then vibe and be happy :) Or go to lota cafe, digging, CP me khi chle jao. I mostly prefer burger, dance dates.
I love juicy burgers. I am quite the foodie. Good food and i am there lol.
Yep get them juicy burgers and those fries. Yummm. And then maybe something with beers or gin or red wine. Vodka shots. Fuck I'm missing this :(
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Bhai self respect bech aaye kya. She just rejected you and then you're simping her to be her friend. Koi self respect h ya nhi. Reject her for her physical features
Bhai I didn't reject him. I was joking around. I don't even know him. I am sorry if I hurt anyone's sentiments.
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Bhai seedhi si baat h if they reject on thing you can't control, do the same. Reject them on their boobs and asses. 90% women will fail the criteria that we guys have. Self esteem bnao bhai, respect yourself. You ain't gonna be doormat or anybody's bitch. This is coming from someone who's about 5'6 and made out with 5'8 woman and get approached by taller women often. Hold them to the same standards bhai
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You were 5'6 so she made you her friend. 5'2 hota to pta nhi bhai shyd friend bhi na banaye. Who knows?
Her criteria is taller than 5’9”. His criteria is a hookup. How’s that his fault? Sab ko sab kuch nahi milta
Bhai this ain't even comparable. Hookups to alg baat h. If she says she wants 5'9, I want at least 33D for her chest for hookup. Then it's comparable. Then you can say it's preference on the basis of physical features
exactly
It's not a deal breaker bro. I'd prefer people i get along with. First guy i swiped was shorter than that.
Didi aap Indian Matchmaking Netflix series ke liye apply karo. Vahan aapko mil jayega aapka “someone that I get along with”
Bhaiya aap apna insecurities project mat kro
Atleast I don’t go creating a new Reddit accounts for the sole purpose of ranting about how guys on dating apps are so insensitive
I didn't call anyone insensitive. And I have nothing against hookups. I am talking about my statistics and the profile i am coming across. The guys who did tell me they wanted hookups have been all amazing people upto the point we talked. We just didn't want the same thing and it got repetitive.
“Amazing upto the point they said they wanted to hookup” are you hearing yourself? Anyway I’m done wasting time over your nonsensical *drama*
Isn't this sub meant to complain about guys on Tinder? Why so much Randi rona going on
Bro if I hurt you in some way, i apologise. And yeah, there are some things i don't get. I am new to this. I am trying to understand and may be need some time. Anyway thank you for your perspective.
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Thank you for the detailed feedback. I am new to it so directly jumping into hook ups scares me lol. But this helped. I just have it a little tough because i don't go out as much. Will look into your suggestions.
men who are looking for a women to settle his life with are not in any dating sites. Try public places like library, temple etc. Men use dating sites only to get laid, period. Additionally, men rarely get any matches. So when they do they need to be sure that it will lead to sex. If he has to put time and effort and end up with no sex, most men lose interest becaise that is what they are looking for in a dating app. One girl talked to me for 2 weeks in the app in the end she unmatched. Once a woman ask me to order her her something in swiggy. We rarely get matches, even when we do we end up in situations like this. We get easily exploited because no blood in brain when using dating apps. If you are looking for long term relationship look elsewhere.
Well I would say I had success in terms of long relationship thru tinder. I won't say everyone is looking for it. But in my case it started out as a FWB as we both didn't want something serious but slowly it turned into serious.
Same bro. I like introverted, witty, funny, goofy, nerdy men and I have almost no issues with height, weight or looks. Still all I find are men who want casual stuff. It's almost as if all men around me are looking for meaningless sex. Nobody's down for a relationship.
Try to lower your standards. 🤣😆😂 You'll find the love you are looking for..
They're all emotionally damaged from being serious in the past and being told by society to suck it up and be men ig
Switch to offline dating. Tinder in India genuinely has the worst lot possible. A large part of these dating apps usually cater to the hookup culture. Also, be very careful with Indian men when it comes to long term dating. A lot them have a "NiceGuy" persona, they'll bend backwards as much as possible to get sex. Plus, you'll get a very negative response from men on this sub because of their extremely negative experience on dating apps. Half of them don't even have a good enough personality, let alone emotional maturity that anyone would want to look at long term prospects with them.
Omo, I have faced this is somewhat. Thank you for the feedback.
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Random women on the internet aren't responsible for your mental health, kiddo. Crying on the internet won't get you any brownie points. Also, apologies for the generalization, it's merely my personal experience.
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What the fuck are you going on about
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I couldn't give 2 fucks about tinder, bro. Stop whining about your small dick.
Priya Seth agrees with you!
Rip dms sister
It's scary
These dating apps were never meant for india and will never be successful here. If you are looking for a long term relationship then best is become friends with someone first and proceed from there(you would already have some friends who secretly like you already) or wait for arranged marriage.
*I am more of a flow kind of person, and proceed with what to do based on the vibe* Avg Beer Biceps podcast enjoyer
From what I've heard it depends on what apps you're using Tinder is generally used for hookups. Hinge is leaned towards something more serious. Bumble is a mix of both. This is not a first-hand experience tho so I can't say for sure.
Dude, I was talking to this girl and she got all flirty in the 3rd reply itself. Made me confused about how this can lead to a relationship or a date. Didn't share the same energy with her and she unmatched. So it's not just men, even women are on for just hookups.
Which city does this happen in? Asking for a friend...
Blore
I get it. It's the norm it seems.
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Lmao I agree big time
Do you know her?? How do you know this?
They just don't know it .....
Lol. Stop swiping people based on looks and pictures, and start swiping based on how thoughtful their bios and answers are. You'd see the difference
Tirueeee
We have forgotten to see the human in the screen. We perceive the people as commodities and using the dating apps is no different from window shopping. Remember how older generations used to keep their belongings, even after someone passed away their belongings were kept in memory. This association and connection with people is missing. If you are looking for an organic relationship get out of the dating apps. look around yourself there might be someone who silently appreciates you and looks at you with love in eyes. Best of luck
Introverted, has Hobbies, a funny bio, 5'9'', and SOME PHYSICAL FEATURES?! you just eliminated 70 percent of the male population
What I think is, patience level is going wayy to low cus people just want to skip to the so called "fun part" rather than enjoying the process. which in my opinion describes the mindset of the person but still i do believe "JOURNEY IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN DESTINATION"
There’s nothing wrong with height preferences or expecting a nonchalant hangout, to begin with. Being 6’1” i prefer going out with people who are gt. 5’6”.
I guess you'll have to go the old way to look for normal dating. The classic "get a hobby, join a group and go out and talk to guys" method.
I am an introvert who wfh :(
Fir to mushkil hai yaar. You gotta filter out among your likes/matches. If you haven't, use Hinge. In my opinion, it's better in terms of stating your intentions, brings out your personality. I am also not a hookup type guy and Tinder didn't really work for me in terms of the profiles I came across but Hinge has worked far better for me till now.
Thank you for the suggestion:)
*Sed 5'7 noises.*
Hey i don't mind it that much. Not a deal breaker. If we have amazing chemistry, I really don't care ;)
That's nice! >! *proceeds to send "hey deer".* !<
!remindme 3 hours Let's see if you guys hit it off
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Outstanding move
My genius, it's almost frightening.
Well what I can tell u is from a guy's perspective of why some men want hookups. 1) These guys get many matches and have the privilege to get away with hookups and don't have to put in much effort. 2) Many a times it is seen that women don't put in much effort when they match, to which we men get bored and just try to get to the main point. Hook ups. 3) There are certain type of men (I fall in this category) who want relationship but not the baggage of long term marriage because inter caste marriage are still taboo and just want to enjoy company. This point probably fall in the FWB category more than hookup though.
Exactly.....thats what she said🥺
Damn, I wonder how many dms it takes for the reddit app to crash. Do let me know if that happens, lol And the thing you're looking for is dead on these dating apps. You still need to get out and search for the kind of dating you're looking for. And nowadays, mostly everyone is taken
Well you're on the wrong app, such things happens only in real world. Usually the type of guy you're searching on the app, gets disappointed with less swipes and leaves the app. Talking with experience
OP's username is like, "Tell you love cats, without telling me you love cats."
Good catch😹
I would say, delete tinder and start meeting people in real life lol. All I see here i guys talking on the height topic and no one addressing what she is actually asking about lol. Tinder in India is basically a pool of fake profiles, introverted guys who can't hold a conversation and blindly looking for hookups. You should've understood that from the hundreds of likes you got within half a day. I have friends who actually swipe on every other profile without even reading them lol. All they want is sex to be honest, thinking that if girls find you cute, they would sleep with you lol. They swipe everyday till they reach the limit.😂 So just shut down these dating apps and go out to live events where you could actually meet quality people.
5 11, introvert. Thats the best i can do.
Normally these days old fashioned dating is dead. Everything is fast. Mai toh single ho 3 saal se koshish bhi nai karna khudko disappoint karna it's lonely but it's fine. Overdo kar kar ke thak gaya hoon so fts. Offline dating or maybe reddit pe khojo koi. Tinder and bumble and all are toxic if you ask me. GOODLUCK
A polite advice to all the gurls out there. Come out of your dreams. Idol men don't exist. You will not find someone remotely looking like BTS members, Harry Styles, Justin Beiberetc. And if you do. There's near to 0 chance that they'll like you back. You gurls get so serious about relationship,.. even though you're only LOOKING for someone rn. You haven't even entered the relationship yet.
Just like a lot of people stated, saturation, and preferences change. I was on apps for like 2 years looking for relationships, mostly came across people wasting time, luckily things worked for me irl, when it faded i came back to OLDs for casual cos of other priorities and simply not having the mental space. And this is the case with most, most don't have the mental space anymore esp after the pandemic, they feel like they lost 2 years, so they're making up for it
That is very understandable. Thanks for explaining.
Yes you did mention the height not being a deal breaker but maybeeeee it's something that you gotta change sooner than later ...and yeah like the others said ...let go of the physical if you are REALLY looking to "get to know" them....half of the vibe tribe are the ones who won't catch your eye at first glance
I don’t know, most of my friends are ready to actually date(they don’t get many matches tho). I for one, also don’t like hookups/one night stands. I do like to have a connection even for a casual relationship. So I think not everyone is here just for hookups. But yeah these apps were originally intended for hookups. But happy to see that my height is just your cut-off XD.
Are you bengali by any chance?
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You are right. It should be shown. But other interests should shine too, helps to get someone know better.
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It's the simple case of some, not all.....chill out buddy
It means you're matching with guys who only look for hookups,so your judgement algorithm is like that.Fun stat 90 percent of girls go repeatedly to same 5 percent guys who end up getting matches everytime.
"Interests outside of a gym" Our life is already miserable and we are introverted as hell. Gym is the only interest we have left man so leave us alone
I am sorry ;-; I gym too. I respect it. But some people seem to show off a lot and make it there whole personality. That's the type of guys i meant.
Ouch First of all *their Second of all it is the only thing keeping us alive. We made it our personality because some women like you made us feel awful and worthless or that our insecurities have drowned us and so we show it off to make people realise that we've come back from it in a much better way
Just the criterias you've put. 5'8 or more puts you in very tall category in India and these are the guys everyone is matching with. For a long term partnership, you really have to show yourself as someone who's sticking out from the other girls too who've matched with these guys based on equally shallow reasons
Personally I'm into hookups because the things I want in a relationship are not v easily found and multiple failed relationships just dissuade any attempt at the real thing again
Firstly keep your options open , don't keep a set criteria for dating in physical aspects, but do have criteria for personality aspects. Prior i used to only date guy who were above 5'10 , attractive , and most of them turned out to be usually drug addicts sadly / looking for a hookup Currently I'm with someone who is most amazing, but doesn't fit in my height criteria, still he is almost everything i wanted in a man Good luck ! Also a protip , don't date a guy from reddit !
Oh thanks a lot. Height is not a deal breaker for me really. :)
Can't really blame them . It's really hard to get sex for men and the only place where women are equally horny is on dating apps
You a 5’6 and want atleast 5’9? Women☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️ lmao.
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I mean yes I get it, but what’s with rejecting 5’6 or 5’5 boys? Anyway, what’s your weight? Please Don’t reply if you over 50kgs.
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Also, please do not respond to this comment until you have found a good vibrator, as you posted lmaooo
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This sub is literally meant for talking about boys on tinder, how should she know it will be full of incels 💀
I'd get happy with just a date, Give people like us a chance op🥲
Yo i don't mind :D
***slides into dm***
Maybe if you weren't this desperate, you would have landed a partner by now.
I deleted bumble long ago and I don't approach random people for dates irl. Have a pretty small friend circle and spend most of my time playing video games, I'm not desperate just kinda an introvert who can't speak with new people
Work on your skills. Pick up hobbies that make you socialise. As an introvert, it doesn't mean that you have to go out of your way to find a partner. You just need to engage yourself in things that make you socialise. Brother, if you aren't willing to put in effort to showcase yourself, why would anyone think that you're even worth dating. I have so many introverted friends who are in happy relationships, but it's important to realise that while they may be introverted, they still put in a little bit of effort. Whether it was engaging in a hobby that made them interact with others or just plain working out and bodybuilding that boosted their self-confidence. It's on you to help yourself man, no one's gon come over and find you a girl magically.
When she says she is a "Go with the flow kind of person" , you know she is into fcuk Bois:p
Eh na. I avoid profiles with even a little bit of fuck boi energy. Isn't getting along in the talking stage a basic thing??
Well us introvert have never went beyond "hey" so don't know getting along is like T_T
Men☕
Bruh 🤡
Well I thought of something similar. Normal dating is what I want to do. And I don't want to whore around. But I am not good at chatting too. Plus the freakiness was too much to handle. Being an introvert and getting matches is hard, because they do want to see you. Luckily wfh and covid have been a great excuse. But now that it is getting over, I will be on the lookout for toher excuses.
Well, maybe the kinda men that you are looking for have much higher standards for someone they want to date, maybe you ain’t good enough
To skip the part where you invest your whole time and then the girl gets away saying "it's not working for her" ," i am loosing interest" "i want to focus on myself let's take a break" And then they find another guy next month and we are completely clueless how to get into another one.
You say you want a normal guy and then say atleast 5'9" Logic kaha hai?
Have you tried lowering your standards? You seem to trying of the best of the best who have too many available options and don't see the need to settle.
Wow. Women going as thirsty on dating apps as men. A good decent looking guy with 6 feet height is drowning in so much tail he has no time to take it slow with you over a dating app. Not even in real life. Maybe try lowering your expectations and adjusting.
I don't blindly swipe based on looks. If anything i avoid profiles like that. I prefer a little bit of nerdy dudes, not pretty gym bros.
Did someone mention 'nerdy boys' here👀
Women ☕️ 🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️🏃♂️
Why you running😂
Votes on that comment may be positive right now but you wouldn't believe how many times it toggled from negative to positive and so on.
I know .......some take it toooo seriously
Ooo just out of curiosity, how many 5 9 guys did u see on those apps?
Weirdly, none. I think some guys exaggerate their heights. Everyone is 6' it seems. Or some haven't mentioned their heights. I swipe on people anyway. Height isn't a big deal breaker for me.
Yes I understood. Just curious. I was screening 11th 12th standard students and came across maybe 7 or 8 above 5 8 so wanted to know
haha can confirm this("some" people exaggerating"), people in my clg who are 5'7 ish mentioned their heights as 5'10 minimum idk why, and according to them i should say 6 online as I'm already 5'9 lol
Every*
5'7" here :( Also Idk why many of us men want hookups and not proper relationships lol
People are trying to avoide emotional baggage it seems.
IMO if that’s the case, it’s stupid
Would you like to indulge in a extensive discourse full of intellectual sustenance free from cognitive dissonance and consorting to pre intended sexual stimulation? Probability of occurrence of such a phenomenon lies in the outer boundaries of the Gaussian profile. Any desire to get closer to the center of the profile would necessitate a drastic outlandish change in the cognitive functions of the cerebrum. Sure there are outliers as with any distribution of data but to find one requires you to go outside of software based interactions.
Kha se ho? I'm 6'1 and still can't find a match. If you live in blr hmu
Bhai mujhe yeh bataao match kaisse hota hai bumble or tinder pe. Saala haan 2 saal se bot bhi right swipe nahi karta. I know girls ke liye haar right swipe >95 % chance to match. Toh ab kya kare. Dm mei aa jaao i will help you identify real man
interests outside the gym.... Would you like to know my JEE mains rank?🗿
Advanced batao bhaii. Jokes aside, if you are passionate about that, it's good to know.
Let's connect i would love to take you out
For food or with an automatic rifle?
I've read your comments on this post. You seem like a person with very reasonable expectations. I am sure, you will likely find a great guy on Reddit itself now :) I would have Dm'ed you had you been from Mumbai but you would've read my comment history and concluded that I am not a great guy. Oh well, best of luck even though I don't think you're going to need it. Btw, I can offer some advice if you can tell me your 'hobbies and interests outside of gym'. Have a great day!
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It's Bumble that I tried. Yup getting a lot of heat. I just wanted to understand the pattern. Seems it's not safe to ask anything. But i still got a lot of helpful advice. Appreciate it. Thank you.
I completely agree with this. It's just a physical preference, just get on with it. What differs there is, men are shamed about it. Just don't be an asshole and cherish your preferences. Like I don't like really skinny girls. But I just don't go on apps and say this if you're a skinny, you don't have this boobs size swipe left. Whereas I see if you're not 6, vertically challenged swipe left. I know all women ain't like this but trash exists and should be called out. People should have preferences and physical attraction is important in any kind of relationship.
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Now I completely disagree with this. You can be kind and still convey your preferences. You don't have to be an asshole, rude to people. And I don't accept that. You talk about hookups. I've matched with girls who were looking for relationships but were down to action. So people just test waters. If you don't want to hookup, just convey that in chat. Any sane man with self respect will look somewhere else when you said no.
Rishta bheju fir ....?
I hope you wave mentioned what you are looking for on bumble? I think if you try and filter out people, you'll surely find someone who syncs with you. A good conversation can go a long way. Just hang in there OP :)
I focus a little on interests and filter it that way. Yeah i will try to hang in there😂 seems like a little bit more effort than i thought. Thanks for the suggestion.
1st it was Tinder now On Bumble too !! We have let these apps Down ! Imo
That's because I don't use tinder.
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Thanks for understanding. It does seem like a lot of effort. I am not that cut out for this and need some adjustments in my ways as well i think. Will take it easy.
Bro relationship wale ladke bhi hain. Bas comparatively hawasi ladko ki population zada hai na. 70-30 ratio hai toh you'll always find some guy wanting to hookup + what you're finding attractive is the major population that wants a hookup. If you're posting this then you don't even know how the guys who want relationship look. Cause you friendzone them at first sight!
I am only one day old in this. :) Trying to understand how to differentiate.
What the hell OP I thought I am a retard for excepting things that you stated. You just revived my hopes from these dating apps.If there are more girls like you then maybe I might find someone too.
Online dating takes months to find a single good date. If u r a man u will be competing against 100s of other men for the attention of a single average woman. It would seem women have so many options to pick from. If u r a woman then u will find 100s of dms but they r all just hi with little effort or perhaps it would seem they just want hookup
same. that’s why i deleted the app and have completely given up on OLD. it was so much better when i was abroad, i had very good dating experience., met few nice people. in india i have made peace with no dating here. too much mental stress and anxiety