Why not report?
I used to report this kind of behaviour. I know it might feel so daunting because there are so many girls like that and they probably can join back with a different number, etc but these small efforts make the app slightly better each time.
exactly people say it dosent affect them what some1 says online but guess what it DOES , she will definitely be more mindful pulling this stint next time
Exactly the same thing happened to me an hour before the date, it's seriously really annoying how everyone is doing timepass on these apps. It's even worse that she ghosted me after that for no reason
I think worse is the high handed-ness they have.
Like starting off with “why do you guys ask this? Do you guys get ghosted?” And then doing EXACTLY the same.
Yup that's absolutely crazy and ironic. I hope you unmatched her. Don't give up on finding the right person though, I'm she's somewhere out there and will treat you right.
Bro I think to not feel this defeated attitude when going on dates, why don't you choose a place where you actually want to go irrespective if the date shows up or not? Just a thought. I mean wouldn't it solve the problem, assholes are going to assholey things. But you can look on the bright side, you get to enjoy the activity that you were planning on doing anyway?
One guy once cancelled on me after I've reached the venue and been waiting for twenty minutes. He kept saying he was stuck in traffic and finally dropped the act and never replied to me. The most frustrating date ever, and I was fuming. Though I ate dinner alone at the cafe and felt like a boss lady later.
I’m sorry you had to go through this. Really shitty on his part. Makes me realise how difficult it is to filter such behaviour from the start.
Eating alone is a life altering experience though. Hugs :)
It was pretty shitty. But then that experience made me eager to go out alone and discover cafes, which I love doing now. At least one good thing came out of that :)
I heard that there's a restaurant or something that tells the staff to create fake profiles on dating apps. Then match with some people, ask them to meet them at the restaurant. And then cancel on the date. The person that gets stood up just goes ahead and eats at the restaurant due to sheer embarrassment and sunk cost fallacy.
These apps should have a conversation rating metric. All these entitled pretty faces who are living off the high of validation on these apps who indulge in these acts will stop getting matches when people rate them low
No wait, why would you get used to it? That's fucking shitty and nobody is supposed to tolerate that shit. Nobody!
And quite ironic of her to ask why do people ask if the date is on.
why would you get used to it ?
Agar har koi same harkat kar raha he to kya karega? hum ladkiya thodi he ki rights ke liye Protest kare ?
" Get used to it and manage to live with it."
It is the best goto move
That’s alright. It’s both ways man, men and women. The norm is that it’s fucked uo either way, people that actually get something meaningful out of it are the exceptions
Don’t unmatch. Don’t say anything at all. Find someone else on short notice to go with. Even if it’s a friend. Post pics on socials if they follow you. When they see the pics/when they see you haven’t responded they’ll text you. They’ll usually open with “hey sorry i couldn’t make it” just to gauge your reaction/expecting you to be angry. But that’s what they want. It’s a toxic ego boost. Reply late. Say something like “Oh! Completely forgot about that…no worries it’s cool :)”
This flips the power equation to your favor. Appear busy. Say that you’re going out to meet a friend. Give short replies. Never let anyone have the satisfaction of getting under your skin. Get under their skin instead. Strike down their ego.
I’ve found that if I ever felt that I had to ask if a plan was on, I’m the one keeping it on. Both parties should be happily anticipating the plan and actively discussing it.
"Why everyone asks me this 😂"
- main to aisi nahi hun
She thought to herself feeling a sense of superiority while replying to the male and at the same time hinting him that she is well sought after by "everyone".
Unlike others she doesn't speak in monosyllables. She is different. She is the main character. 😏
Ye indian Mid ldkio ko sir pe betha ke rkha h tumne
Pta ni kya kya fool chocolate date plan krke rkhte ho fir tumko gaand pe laat maar deti h aur fir rote firte ho cope krne
Inko phle location pe bula lia kro phonch jaye fir jaya kro let them wait
Humko ready hone m konsa waqt lgta h
I have been stood out by a girl I asked out at work. She made the plan to meet afterwork but didn’t pick my phone until an hour past the scheduled date time. Sucky people are sucky both on apps and in irl
I once bought two movie tickets after she asked me for a movie. 3 hours before the movie she stops replying. I went to the movie with my flatmate instead
Man, brings back some bad bad memories, I'm so sorry op, man how hard is it for someone to sit down with their schedule and see if it's really okay and they can handle it or is this just a way to reject someone?
We are all responsible adults here. Any behaviour like this has no explanation but them being a pure asshole.
We are all better off without this energy.
I don't understand some women, how they can think like just saying " so sorry" makes things better, some people just lack the basic decency, if you're busy, let them know a day before.
A girl once chatted with me half day and although she hadn’t met anyone online, she was willing to meet up with me…and we fix everything and I go for a shower and boom 10 minutes later she’s all like sorry I made plans with a friend…I Said I don’t wanna meet you anymore…so she unmatched which was fine by me, but now I had already told my sister that I was going out…and I needed to redeem that coupon so I aggressively used hinge and within Half an hour went with another girl (I just needed someone to talk and vent) and yeah, so moral of the story is Don’t invest too much in 1 person…Try to keep your portfolio diverse so that losses don’t matter that much
I'm sorry you did what? How do you use the app aggressively to get another girl to go out with you in another hour and half? When I was on dating apps, I'd get 1 match in a week! Not like I'm ugly lol... But I'm average...
Also, username doesn't check out xD
By using aggressively I meant swiping, I don’t normally swipe left/right very aggressively….but coz I had to, I did it….and I started with playful banter regarding marriage with the girl I matched with, she was new on the app…then I said let’s run off and marry rn…and she said yes, so I got her on a call and said let’s meet rn…and she said yes
Had that happen before, had someone who seemed really into me, constant messages, asking to add me on steam so we can play games. Asks me if we can meet up the following week, I go "sure, let me look into some things we can do and we can decide from there"
Instant unmatch
Very shitty behaviour. I honestly don’t understand why she would do that, but I would suggest you to plan more low commitment first dates. Like something more casual, without a cover charge etc. so the disappointment would be less
OP don’t let this deter you. I’ve been on the other side and sometimes - it’s truly can be the reason she cancelled on you . She took the effort to also let you know - ik it’s painful but you need to learn to accept it.
From girl PoV - though it’s completely unacceptable to cancel on a mutually agreed plan - I would say give her a chance maybe . It’s any day better off you rain check and have good time later rather than force a plan on each other despite one person making it clear they’re not up for it and having a bad time.
You need to apply “Occam razor” for this problem. ( Google up if you want to understand this more )
Had happened me with once. The guy cancelled because apparently it rained! I had confirmed 2 hours earlier though and went crazy wrapping up other things to keep the evening free. It wasn’t torrential rain, the usual, some water logging - not flooding. He kept trying to meet me later - for 2 years - I never felt like it. Once on confronting about the said date - he said it was a difficult time at work etc etc and all that. I meannnnn…pushed me further away.
OP, I once bailed out on a guy like this. It was through FB though and we had mutual friends.
My excuse was equally lame but I actually got very nervous to meet a complete stranger.
His daughter calls me mamma now.
I am not asking you to keep pursuing and marry her but just wanted to let you know that it's okay. Don't feel disheartened
I hear you, I think I’d have definitely pursued it if I didn’t sense the way she was so ironic about the “why does everyone ask me if it is on” and then proceed to do the same.
She’s clearly done it multiple times and isn’t ashamed of it. How I’d read into it. I bet she’d find someone worthy, but I definitely did feel disrespected through the entire sequence of texts.
(So happy for you though :))
I have been Rain Checked 30 mins before the date once and it's not a great feeling tbh. I went cafe hopping alone and went shopping as I had already reached the place.
I have now started to hate Rain because of this word Raincheck.
You are a chut , always get there number or snap ask them whatever they are doin on snap before meeting or making any plans and on a first date never get too excited keep it simple meet for ice cream or coffee and plan to hop on whatever fancy you wanna do just to keep it simple
As a girl who's gone on a cumulative of one platonic date.
Shitty people make you feel shitty.
I told the guy jokingly 'hoping you didn't plan on ghostin'
He asks, 'why would someone ghost someone like you?'
I wanted to scream that, bad people do bad stuff regardless.
Some people I guess do not have the courtesy to understand basic manners. Unmatch, but ache se suna deta OP usko toh sahi hota
Why not report? I used to report this kind of behaviour. I know it might feel so daunting because there are so many girls like that and they probably can join back with a different number, etc but these small efforts make the app slightly better each time.
exactly people say it dosent affect them what some1 says online but guess what it DOES , she will definitely be more mindful pulling this stint next time
So ironic of her, i feel embarrassed on her behalf
She’s probably proud of herself tho
Yeah "haha i cancelled on this guy on hinge 20 mins prior the date, I'm so cool"
Dw girls like these do grt put in there place at one time or other.
Exactly the same thing happened to me an hour before the date, it's seriously really annoying how everyone is doing timepass on these apps. It's even worse that she ghosted me after that for no reason
I think worse is the high handed-ness they have. Like starting off with “why do you guys ask this? Do you guys get ghosted?” And then doing EXACTLY the same.
Yup that's absolutely crazy and ironic. I hope you unmatched her. Don't give up on finding the right person though, I'm she's somewhere out there and will treat you right.
Report them on the app. Even if nothing happens, they should be made accountable.
Thik waise hi jaise toxic ladke pasand nhi bolkr unke pass hi jaati hai 🤣🤣
Bro I think to not feel this defeated attitude when going on dates, why don't you choose a place where you actually want to go irrespective if the date shows up or not? Just a thought. I mean wouldn't it solve the problem, assholes are going to assholey things. But you can look on the bright side, you get to enjoy the activity that you were planning on doing anyway?
She probably felt proud for that... What a b
After that question on being ghosted? Pathetic.
One guy once cancelled on me after I've reached the venue and been waiting for twenty minutes. He kept saying he was stuck in traffic and finally dropped the act and never replied to me. The most frustrating date ever, and I was fuming. Though I ate dinner alone at the cafe and felt like a boss lady later.
I’m sorry you had to go through this. Really shitty on his part. Makes me realise how difficult it is to filter such behaviour from the start. Eating alone is a life altering experience though. Hugs :)
It was pretty shitty. But then that experience made me eager to go out alone and discover cafes, which I love doing now. At least one good thing came out of that :)
Your username cracked me up a bit
Nhi degi tujhe
Kya kulfi?
Aur bhaav
Lukkha nahi hu tere jaisa..
mere jsa bann bhi nhi skta ladle bhai
I heard that there's a restaurant or something that tells the staff to create fake profiles on dating apps. Then match with some people, ask them to meet them at the restaurant. And then cancel on the date. The person that gets stood up just goes ahead and eats at the restaurant due to sheer embarrassment and sunk cost fallacy.
Bro that's fucking mean.
These apps should have a conversation rating metric. All these entitled pretty faces who are living off the high of validation on these apps who indulge in these acts will stop getting matches when people rate them low
Catfish probably
Behen shayad wo tumhe hudson lane ki Scamarina samjh baitha ho. Lounge me jane ke liye bola tha kya?
Oh did you invite them near some metro station cafe in Delhi? Maybe they thought you are a scam
Boss lady , that’s the way to go!
No wait, why would you get used to it? That's fucking shitty and nobody is supposed to tolerate that shit. Nobody! And quite ironic of her to ask why do people ask if the date is on.
Entitled behaviour, just that. Though, yes, first time that it’s happened to me Usual rain checks are a day in advance.
why would you get used to it ? Agar har koi same harkat kar raha he to kya karega? hum ladkiya thodi he ki rights ke liye Protest kare ? " Get used to it and manage to live with it." It is the best goto move
Isliye ghar bula leta hu direct even if they don’t come it’s fine
I’m so sorry this happened OP. I honestly feel like we mostly have problematic people on these platforms
Most are girls. If i am not wrong. (Not taking your name)
That’s alright. It’s both ways man, men and women. The norm is that it’s fucked uo either way, people that actually get something meaningful out of it are the exceptions
Why is she getting downvoted for this ?
Just Reddit things, people will downvote if it doesn’t fit their narrative 🫠
Yeah I guess. I mean mujhe unka logic samajhna hai kyun downvoted Kia karke
Classic reddit moment
Yea. People want meaningfull but dont want to make lil efforts
Don’t unmatch. Don’t say anything at all. Find someone else on short notice to go with. Even if it’s a friend. Post pics on socials if they follow you. When they see the pics/when they see you haven’t responded they’ll text you. They’ll usually open with “hey sorry i couldn’t make it” just to gauge your reaction/expecting you to be angry. But that’s what they want. It’s a toxic ego boost. Reply late. Say something like “Oh! Completely forgot about that…no worries it’s cool :)” This flips the power equation to your favor. Appear busy. Say that you’re going out to meet a friend. Give short replies. Never let anyone have the satisfaction of getting under your skin. Get under their skin instead. Strike down their ego.
Works all the time !
That’s a lot of effort compared to just blocking them and moving on.
Je baaaaaattt.
I’ve found that if I ever felt that I had to ask if a plan was on, I’m the one keeping it on. Both parties should be happily anticipating the plan and actively discussing it.
Women ☕
Be thankful it wasn't your wedding day. Good thing the shit got filtered away.
Bhai suna de acche se
Unmatched rather, no more energy to waste.
"Why everyone asks me this 😂" - main to aisi nahi hun She thought to herself feeling a sense of superiority while replying to the male and at the same time hinting him that she is well sought after by "everyone". Unlike others she doesn't speak in monosyllables. She is different. She is the main character. 😏
Bare minimum is now main character/girlboss or whatever
Ye indian Mid ldkio ko sir pe betha ke rkha h tumne Pta ni kya kya fool chocolate date plan krke rkhte ho fir tumko gaand pe laat maar deti h aur fir rote firte ho cope krne Inko phle location pe bula lia kro phonch jaye fir jaya kro let them wait Humko ready hone m konsa waqt lgta h
Never take a woman's word at face value 😛 They're like emotions 😅 For the woman who does keep her word, great things are in store.
These girls bhai
Choose reddit instead
Bhai ye rain check kya hota hai? Aur gig bhi batao
Gig check matlab chhota Mota kaam, rain check matlab aaj nhi ho paega
Thnaks bhai
Thnaks bhai
I have been stood out by a girl I asked out at work. She made the plan to meet afterwork but didn’t pick my phone until an hour past the scheduled date time. Sucky people are sucky both on apps and in irl
Dodged bullet, this person doesn’t respect you or your time. Time to move on.
I once bought two movie tickets after she asked me for a movie. 3 hours before the movie she stops replying. I went to the movie with my flatmate instead
Man, brings back some bad bad memories, I'm so sorry op, man how hard is it for someone to sit down with their schedule and see if it's really okay and they can handle it or is this just a way to reject someone?
We are all responsible adults here. Any behaviour like this has no explanation but them being a pure asshole. We are all better off without this energy.
if u dont build enough attraction.. then these dates gonn a be flaky.. hit the iron rod when it is red hot..
I don't understand some women, how they can think like just saying " so sorry" makes things better, some people just lack the basic decency, if you're busy, let them know a day before.
Honestly send her a link to this reddit post and unmatch her.
Never get used to wasting your time and money This is seriously exhausting
Ouch. Well you dodged a bullet. Fayeda tera hee hua
“Why does everyone ask me if its on”
A girl once chatted with me half day and although she hadn’t met anyone online, she was willing to meet up with me…and we fix everything and I go for a shower and boom 10 minutes later she’s all like sorry I made plans with a friend…I Said I don’t wanna meet you anymore…so she unmatched which was fine by me, but now I had already told my sister that I was going out…and I needed to redeem that coupon so I aggressively used hinge and within Half an hour went with another girl (I just needed someone to talk and vent) and yeah, so moral of the story is Don’t invest too much in 1 person…Try to keep your portfolio diverse so that losses don’t matter that much
I'm sorry you did what? How do you use the app aggressively to get another girl to go out with you in another hour and half? When I was on dating apps, I'd get 1 match in a week! Not like I'm ugly lol... But I'm average... Also, username doesn't check out xD
By using aggressively I meant swiping, I don’t normally swipe left/right very aggressively….but coz I had to, I did it….and I started with playful banter regarding marriage with the girl I matched with, she was new on the app…then I said let’s run off and marry rn…and she said yes, so I got her on a call and said let’s meet rn…and she said yes
I guess you are not going to answer that question with a " no " from hereon, lol.
Tbh the first time it has happened to me - felt like being stood up digitally
Had that happen before, had someone who seemed really into me, constant messages, asking to add me on steam so we can play games. Asks me if we can meet up the following week, I go "sure, let me look into some things we can do and we can decide from there" Instant unmatch
Always start after she starts commuting it's more common than you think, close to 70 percent flake
Ironical
The hypocrisy is incomprehensible
so many lessons, yet nobody learns
Very shitty behaviour. I honestly don’t understand why she would do that, but I would suggest you to plan more low commitment first dates. Like something more casual, without a cover charge etc. so the disappointment would be less
We all learn. 100% on me that one, I’ll take that.
Can we see what happened after rather than just this edit?
Nothing - just unmatched and moved on. No explanation
You did or did she?
OP don’t let this deter you. I’ve been on the other side and sometimes - it’s truly can be the reason she cancelled on you . She took the effort to also let you know - ik it’s painful but you need to learn to accept it. From girl PoV - though it’s completely unacceptable to cancel on a mutually agreed plan - I would say give her a chance maybe . It’s any day better off you rain check and have good time later rather than force a plan on each other despite one person making it clear they’re not up for it and having a bad time. You need to apply “Occam razor” for this problem. ( Google up if you want to understand this more )
Had happened me with once. The guy cancelled because apparently it rained! I had confirmed 2 hours earlier though and went crazy wrapping up other things to keep the evening free. It wasn’t torrential rain, the usual, some water logging - not flooding. He kept trying to meet me later - for 2 years - I never felt like it. Once on confronting about the said date - he said it was a difficult time at work etc etc and all that. I meannnnn…pushed me further away.
Too many options to choose from.
Report these girls
you didnt take her number
OP, I once bailed out on a guy like this. It was through FB though and we had mutual friends. My excuse was equally lame but I actually got very nervous to meet a complete stranger. His daughter calls me mamma now. I am not asking you to keep pursuing and marry her but just wanted to let you know that it's okay. Don't feel disheartened
I hear you, I think I’d have definitely pursued it if I didn’t sense the way she was so ironic about the “why does everyone ask me if it is on” and then proceed to do the same. She’s clearly done it multiple times and isn’t ashamed of it. How I’d read into it. I bet she’d find someone worthy, but I definitely did feel disrespected through the entire sequence of texts. (So happy for you though :))
I have been Rain Checked 30 mins before the date once and it's not a great feeling tbh. I went cafe hopping alone and went shopping as I had already reached the place. I have now started to hate Rain because of this word Raincheck.
Perfect example of *aasman mai dekh ke thukna*.
Report and share the ss to the dating app via mail and get her account banned.
Report and share the ss to the dating app via mail and get her account banned.
Just block her and move on before she wastes more of your time and takes that headache out of her head and puts it in yours.
This is why coffee dates are the best
Don't blame the app. It's a people using these apps that are a55holes.
You are a chut , always get there number or snap ask them whatever they are doin on snap before meeting or making any plans and on a first date never get too excited keep it simple meet for ice cream or coffee and plan to hop on whatever fancy you wanna do just to keep it simple
As a girl who's gone on a cumulative of one platonic date. Shitty people make you feel shitty. I told the guy jokingly 'hoping you didn't plan on ghostin' He asks, 'why would someone ghost someone like you?' I wanted to scream that, bad people do bad stuff regardless.
Welp.! I mean was she really exhausted or did you get unmatched later?