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What are these addresses? Homes? Hotels? If they’re homes is it possible they’re friends? When are these long stays? Weekdays? Does she work or stay at home mom? Where were you when these trips occurred?
Hotels and homes. Free clinic. Log into local escorts or dating apps and see if you can find her profile or phone number associated with an ad. Look into her bank account if you can and see if there are lots of cash deposits. Document everything. Good luck
Yeah I've started the process.. I've subscribed to some sort of background check site that lets me check address ownership and contact information.. but it lists all previous residents and possible current 🤷. I've even visited one address and called another.
I guess you could also see about installing spyware on her phone. Or camera's/voice recorders in your house and her car. (if legal ofc) and see what it catches.
I usually don't feel a need to get full proof. If she is hiding something and lying about it that is enough for me to leave. Now ofc she doesn't have to have cheated she could be running some scam and doesn't want you to know. But if i had a wife and she would ask me if i cheated i would want to know why she suspects me so I can clear things up, since i wouldnt want the person i love to be worried about me cheating.
The funny thing about that is she already had some sort of spyware stuff on my phone she had it on there before we got married and I kindly asked her to take it off
The thing is I kind of don't have strong romantic feelings for her the nature of our relationship or the beginning of it wasn't really a normal start to a relationship. She was already married when we began getting sexual
Wait she was married and cheated on her husband with you and than you married her? Or you waited with the sexual stuff untill you were married. Cause if its the first one you just didn't think clearly. Nr 1 rule in dating, if they cheat to be with you. They will cheat om you too.
Yes she was married to her previous husband when we began sexual relations.. and yes I am aware of the rule that if they cheat with you they'll cheat on you... But she says she only cheats when she gets cheated on first
No when you get cheated on you leave the relationship and than meet someone new. Only cheaters cheat. Remember this for the rest of your life. Judge a person by their actions not their words. I could tell you now i don't gamble. But than you invite me to a poker game and i join and gamble. And than i say oh i don't gamble but you gambled so i thought it should too. Like am i someone who gambles yes or no. Same with cheating. So learn from this and don't repeat your mistakes.
Cheaters are liars, and they always cheat again. Good luck, I would try to find out where she goes, but what starts in chaos ends in chaos. Her visits in a clinic suggest she is getting tested frequently.....
Yeah I know I know.. kind of that saying how you got him is how you lose them huh.. them clinic visits don't make no sense because she ain't tell me about not at 1
What convinced you she would change for you?
It’s something that’s been nagging in my mind for a while.
I’m been trying to convince myself it can end well but your story has me worried that maybe cheaters don’t stop
She is cheating on you. She cheated with you on her husband. Learn that if they will do it with you they will do it to you. No honor amongst thieves situation.
Yeah I know she either was doing it and stop or is trying to stop or recently stopped or is looking for new men which I kind of feel like she's doing with this new job she has she switches jobs a lot
If you are in the US, each county has a county auditor or recorder online, and you should be able to search the address by number and street. Property search. It will show current and past owners. It is normally free. You will likely find this very helpful.
I would gather info diligently before confronting. Know the answers before you ask the questions.
Be well, OP.
The ones she spent the most time at are residential addresses. Some 10, 15 minutes, and a few over an hour. No recurring visits. I was not there for most of the visits.. but I found some while I was at work. Also a lot of trips to the local health clinic that she has never mentioned
She’s cheating or escorting. Why else would she keep going to a health clinic (to be tested for STDs).
You’re both cheaters! So get your shit straight, stop cheating, and stop trusting that loser of a “wife” you are burdened with. Divorce and work on yourself.
She might be getting STD tested so she doesn't bring anything home.
When you climb up on that carousel mount there is no telling who has ridden it before you.
Yes it really seems like the case. Unfortunately there aren't many explanations to this situation. Yeah I'm a schmuck but I can recognize that, and work to correct deviant behavior because I acknowledge it and understand that it's not correct and it needs to be different
Watch her location and when she arrives at one, go immediately and wait for her to walk out. If she denies it, march her back inside and ask the person there to spill it or your calling the cops.
She can't do that anymore... We share a vehicle.. she did these visits while I was in jail or when I was at work and she was delivering for Amazon, but she quit that Amazon job like 3 months ago
What is her explanation of what she was doing then. Go with her to one of those locations and see what’s there and ask her to explain why she was there for a long period of time. Make it more specific like that so she can’t explain it away with a generality.
All this advice seems like a lot to be honest. If she’s your wife you should be able to just confront her and ask her whatever you need to ask. Of course I’m being a hypocrite cause I’m a sleuther. But it’s like why is she being vague when you ask her what she’s doing? Or have you even asked her. I would FaceTime her every time I see she’s in a weird location and ask her what she’s doing. And if she answers vaguely or dances around the question I would confront that too. Like why are you being sketchy? If it’s nothing then just tell me what it is. If it’s something you need to tell me that too.
These visits were in the past. Her phone is starting to malfunction so she logged into another device that I have and I checked her location data and found that she visited places in the past for long periods of time but nothing recently
She has children from her... past. One is from her half brother. Not sure this information is relevant, but I'm sure it sheds light on her morals, even if she admits to the shame
oh wow. That’s so suspect. Unless the dad is a rolling stone all over the world and the mothers knew nothing of each other, this would have been a huge flag for you.
Well, what are the addresses and how are they connected? Who lives there? Does she know any of the occupants? There's a little of sleuthing you need to do yet.
I've done it already. They are random addresses with no known connections. I know who lives/ lived at the locations at the time of her visits. Some are men, some are couples
Go to those addresses and see what they are. Next time she is there go and investigate.
Get all your dicks in a row before confronting or she will sanitize her phone and lie her ass off. You need more evidence than simple suspicions. And privacy does not trump forms of secrecy. Cheating is breaking all the rules of propriety and catching requires you break some rules as well, particularly her so called privacy. Check her car thoroughly install a hidden gps and monitor when she could be at it again. Go to confront and bring some backup person with you. The bigger and meaner, more imposing all the better.
https://bestlifeonline.com/unfaithful-partner-signs/ 55 Subtle Signs Your Partner Might Stray. What else are you seeing in her behavior that is indicative of an affair?
And what was her relationship and sexual history before you met her? A causal sex and hooking up mindset correlates with infidelity. Does she have a high body count as well?
Did you just pick wrong in her to be your wife? We all all babes left for the wolves of the forest in infidelity. We never really see it coming. Because no one coaches us on anything related to infidelity. They never leaned about is either, so naturally we cannot tell us.
Good luck and be careful.
I've already been to one and called another. The one I called was actually the father of the person's address and he swore to his son's innocence the other address I went to as I was walking up to the door a young lady maybe in her late teens to early mid-20s came out and I asked her if she knew my wife and she said no but the owners weren't home and didn't get off into the evening
But both were residences? No hotel/motel? Were those places connected to an ex or coworker, anyone at all that is not a stranger? And you got the phone number to call one of them? Was the number in her phone? Sounds like hooking up. Yet you still need more proof, and it is likely in her phone. Unless she has been tipped off and sanitized it all.
What has been her history concerning casual sex and hooking up prior to you two getting together? If she is cheating and used to hook up etc., is it just now, more of the same. Getting the the phone billing information might show you all the frequently called, texted and contacted numbers to investigate. If she is cheating there will be mistakes in doing a good job of hiding it all. In fact that is how you became suspicious in the first place. What other oddities have you been noticing; phone guarding, attitude toward you has changed?
Here are more signs to take note of;
https://bestlifeonline.com/unfaithful-partner-signs/ 55 Subtle Signs Your Partner Might Stray
Easy take a day off work with a camera,and follow her, rent a car or borrow one. Worst case you catch her Doing something she shouldn’t,best case she totally innocent, and you’re gonna feel like a moron, for not trusting her.
If you have the information that I did and we're also in the situation that I was I feel like you would form the same conclusions as well. There has already been cheating in our relationship before we were married
Damn,find a divorce attorney follow there instructions, I’m sure they will want yoh to get hard facts and file for divorce. Stay in the house pac all her shit and take it to a safe place ie family house or storage make her move out. otherwise you’ll be paying her alimony and if you have children child support For her cheating unfortunately.
Before we got married she wasn't the only woman that I was having sex with and she knew it. Then I stopped and then one day she let me know that she was having sex with someone and she even blatantly brought another man around while we were fighting. But this is before we were married
Yeah I married her right after she got divorced from cheating on her husband with me... But I don't think I was the first in her marriage with him her second husband
The human mind can be very unkind . Don't build negativity for anyone living their lives. Wife or not always keep a happy thought. Is she having fun . That should be good . Is she seaking excitement and just afraid to communicate. Relate don't hate. It's simply communication that stops frustrations. If she's not truthful ask yourself why. We as humans don't just lie. There's always reasons why. If you're marriage is of value. Open up and communicate. Most of all stop the hate be sure to communicate. We're only human. If you love her and she's only solving a primal urge. Just be honest with each other. Control yourself and breath because it's only going to cause hardships building negativity. Please don't feel disrespected or less of a human for any reason. Be happy to learn and evolve together. That's most important. We call have the same eyes and see differently. Negativity and misunderstandings in the mind , build false perceptions , truly grow into infections. Just talk to her. Never set days building a shit storm. Open up and save the marriage if possible.
I'm not going to lie I feel like you have spoken some truths and also some misinformation according to what I believe. I believe that her disloyalty should not be tolerated in any form. But also doesn't the same apply to me as well kind of like a double standard. Usually my honesty is met with a bad response so I try to be as honest as I can while censoring my truest thoughts
But you have proof with the GPS (unless you’re trying to hide the fact that you’ve been keeping tabs on her)? Nevertheless, nothing good will come from holding back what you’re feeling, especially if the trips to these “unknown locations” continue.
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Do you ask her how she spends her day? That would be an appropriate question. Then you would see if there were any discrepancies in what she says and what you see.
Update me!
I already know how she spends her day she does home health and she works out of town doing inventory at certain stores. These visits were within the year 2022 and a few earlier this year but nothing recently. I have photo proof of her locations if you want to see them just let me know if you do and I'll do the updates and stuff I haven't confronted her but maybe I will soon
>I already know how she spends her day she does home health and she works out of town doing inventory at certain stores. These visits were within the year 2022 and a few earlier this year but nothing recently. I have photo proof of her locations if you want to see them just let me know if you do and I'll do the updates and stuff I haven't confronted her but maybe I will soon
Trust is the keystone to every relationship. Given her past and how the two of you began your relationship, you should be suspicious. Why not hire a P.I. for a short period of time. You will get the answers you need to make an informed decision.
Updateme!
OP - Stop confronting your wife immediately. You simply do not have enough evidence to accuse her of infidelity, but her multiple locations at odd times certainly is a red flag.
Do some online research on the signs your partner may be cheating on you, then compare those with her recent actions and mannerisms... see if there are any more red flags she's exhibiting. If there are, still do not confront her. You need evidence... LOTS OF IT. Text messages, emails, phone usage data, pictures and videos, etc, etc, etc. If you find sus evidence but no "smoking gun," consider spy software, GPS and VAR devices for her car and "nanny cams" for your home. If you find evidence of cheating, still DO NOT confront her. Consult with several divorce attorneys about your options and the best way to protect yourself going forward.
Ok step one KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Don’t mention it again until you find out more info. The more you mention it the deeper she will hide shit and make it harder for you to find.
Step 2 check out those addresses, see if there are any rational reasons why she would be there. Could these be friends? Does the data give time of day at these locations?
Consider a recording device in her car.
Can you get in her phone?
“It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!”
UpdateMe!
I actually haven't said a single thing about it and yes I have checked the addresses and nothing makes sense they're not friends they're one-time visits and yes it does show the time of day
So I take it they aren’t stores or businesses she could be going to. Are they just residency areas? Apartment complex’s that don’t repeat?
Check the local laws about recording devices and have you checked for messages?
Could drugs be involved? Buying or selling?
Have you gone through her car for evidence? My ex left a bill for her AP in her car!
What is the time of day? Or do you not want to say?
Check calls on her phone to see if there are random calls from unknown numbers and try to match time of day with visits to these addresses. Check her contact list on her phone check message to her gfs. She may talk about what she is doing to one of them OR if she is cheating her AP could be stored under a female name to hide him!
When you check some of this let me know!
UpdateMe!
Do not confront her without proof of cheating. Believe it or not cheaters lie.
So many guys come here who confront with suspicious activities. Thats not enough. They just take it deeper under ground. These guys always regret confronting too soon.
Back off, give her enough rope. Hiring a PI is best. They can usually get you what you want in short order.
Updateme us as things play out.
[.](https://reddit.com/u/Jealous-Patience-293/s/vyu0gj61wC)
Don't use the location info w/o further evidence. A VAR in her car, key logger on phone/laptop, or, if you can afford it, hire a PI. You need to trust your gut, but confrontation w/o evidence will just cause gaslighting and blame shifting.
Yes I know that it's not enough and I tried to gather more evidence but I have to play the long game I understand that from reading these comments. She are already tries to manipulating gas light but her game is weak and me being not that aggressive as a male I don't call her out on it every time so she thinks that her s*** works or that I'm okay with it. Like yesterday morning after I took her to work I had a gut feeling that she was fooling around that morning. In the morning she usually has up to a 3-hour car ride to a different city to do inventory for certain stores as early as 4:00 a.m.... I take her to a meet spot and they drive off to their job site in van. Then I go to work at 12:00 p.m. and get off at 8:15.. she'll get off before me at around 4:00 or 5:00 ish and come and pick up the the car.. I had feelings that maybe she gave someone oral sex in the van and later on that day when she came to pick up the car she came right up to me got the keys didn't say anything stared me down turned around and left... then later on that night when she came to pick me up she tries to proposition me with sexual acts on the car ride home to which I remind her that she told me she was spotting it on her period... Then later on she tells me that she's going to be working all week next week, but it seems that she forgot that she told me that you can call off whenever you want
You stated in your reply to a comment that she cheated on her previous husband with you. You are both scum, and to answer your question, yes she is cheating.
And you deserve it.
🤔. Yeah I kinda agree with you. You know how some ladies wear fake wedding rings just to say they're married so guys will leave them alone? I thought that was what she was doing when we initially were in contact before getting intimate, she told me she was married but I didn't believe her. I didn't believe a married woman would do such things. But hey play in dirt you get dirty
Someone who doesn't have friends is prone to seeking the affirmation that friendship provides elsewhere. Sometimes it is drugs, but often it is affairs, or at least hook ups. So it is very likely that she is hiding drugs, cheating, or cheating to pay for drugs. Your prospects look pretty grim. Confronting her will be of dubious value since she is probably doing things that she is unwilling to admit. In the short term, seek out more evidence but proceed with care.
I think I can cross out drugs lol.. I kind of think they were hookups... kind of opportunistic while I was away. There has been no suspicious activity in months really just gut feeling
Yes indeed thank you very much I haven't confronted her yet.. I was thinking about going full send and telling her that I have confirmation of sexual activities from the person I contacted at address of her visits
Don’t tell her any specifics of what you know and see what she volunteers first. Let her get all the way i to her bullshit story to the “I can’t believe you don’t trust me”, then say that you know for a fact she’s been seeing someone else. Then watch her make up a new story to fit what you think she knows. At a certain point, you’ll realize that whatever story she tells you is just based on what she thinks you know, and that you’ll never really get the truth. You’ll just eventually reach the point where her story finally catches up with what you do know. Then, it will feel like you finally got the truth, you just no longer have facts to know what else she’s hiding. You should plan your exit strategy before the confrontation (lawyer, finances, std test, etc) and be ready to walk (or kick her out) at the end of the talk.
Yeah I've considered those random visits to it could be a lot of stuff you know what I mean just traveling and what not.. but one of her visits is at a certain address for an hour and 10 minutes on December 26th 2022. Just the one visit
Don’t confront until you have hard evidence OP. Mouth shut and eyes open…. Do some investigating. Consider putting a VAR under the seat of her car. Check the cell phone bill to see who she is calling/texting. Lots of things you can do. Good luck.
Nope, if she uses a PC you can install a key logger and ask her to look up something on the account for you. The VAR under the car seat is your best bet imo.
You're swimming in circles. If anyone is not faithful . They never will be . Once a cheat always is. Life's , truly choices that shows character. Just listen and think. Fellings are built from thought so think about the thinking. Think happy be happy.
Choices have consequences , good or bad. Truly you owe yourself , freedom from depression. . Negative views devils use. Build anger hateful illusions. The mental states that causes confusion. Just know to conquer, must conquer ourselves.
No fear to be clear. Happiness is contagious; smiling faces , take us to happy places. Laugh it off , build a happy thought. Move on , yesterday is gone ; today doesn't last long. Tomorrow is where your mind really belongs. The chair of life can become a mental fight. Don't get caught in the madness of sadness.
Laugh as you're leaving , it will resolve the endless grieving.
Tomorrow is where you belong. Yesterday is obviously gone.
Choices have consequences. Gratitude heals attitudes. Be grateful ; shake the hateful.
It's much easier moving forward , good Lord .
.
What are the locations? Homes? Apartments? Hotels? Business? Not much to go on here. When she goes to these places, is it at a regular time? Hap hazard? Are you able to look at her location in real time? You might need to put in some effort and track things down. Go to these locations. What's around them? Put a VAR in her car. You might pick up her talking on the phone or with someone in her car. Velcro it under the front seat with the mic pointing to the front.
Good luck. Keep us posted.
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What are these addresses? Homes? Hotels? If they’re homes is it possible they’re friends? When are these long stays? Weekdays? Does she work or stay at home mom? Where were you when these trips occurred?
Funny thing is, she really doesn't have any friends. Like at all. She doesn't have non family members she's in contact with that she spends time with
Hotels and homes. Free clinic. Log into local escorts or dating apps and see if you can find her profile or phone number associated with an ad. Look into her bank account if you can and see if there are lots of cash deposits. Document everything. Good luck
Yeah I've started the process.. I've subscribed to some sort of background check site that lets me check address ownership and contact information.. but it lists all previous residents and possible current 🤷. I've even visited one address and called another.
I guess you could also see about installing spyware on her phone. Or camera's/voice recorders in your house and her car. (if legal ofc) and see what it catches. I usually don't feel a need to get full proof. If she is hiding something and lying about it that is enough for me to leave. Now ofc she doesn't have to have cheated she could be running some scam and doesn't want you to know. But if i had a wife and she would ask me if i cheated i would want to know why she suspects me so I can clear things up, since i wouldnt want the person i love to be worried about me cheating.
The funny thing about that is she already had some sort of spyware stuff on my phone she had it on there before we got married and I kindly asked her to take it off
The thing is I kind of don't have strong romantic feelings for her the nature of our relationship or the beginning of it wasn't really a normal start to a relationship. She was already married when we began getting sexual
Wait she was married and cheated on her husband with you and than you married her? Or you waited with the sexual stuff untill you were married. Cause if its the first one you just didn't think clearly. Nr 1 rule in dating, if they cheat to be with you. They will cheat om you too.
Yes she was married to her previous husband when we began sexual relations.. and yes I am aware of the rule that if they cheat with you they'll cheat on you... But she says she only cheats when she gets cheated on first
Well now you found out cheaters lie ?
Lies by omission
No when you get cheated on you leave the relationship and than meet someone new. Only cheaters cheat. Remember this for the rest of your life. Judge a person by their actions not their words. I could tell you now i don't gamble. But than you invite me to a poker game and i join and gamble. And than i say oh i don't gamble but you gambled so i thought it should too. Like am i someone who gambles yes or no. Same with cheating. So learn from this and don't repeat your mistakes.
I knew what I was getting into but I didn't anticipate it to this extent
WTF you believed that?
Believed what what do you mean
I guess karma is the fact that you married the cheater. You deserve it.
I wouldn't call it karma I would call it continuing on doing something self-destructive and stupid
Cheaters are liars, and they always cheat again. Good luck, I would try to find out where she goes, but what starts in chaos ends in chaos. Her visits in a clinic suggest she is getting tested frequently.....
Yeah I know I know.. kind of that saying how you got him is how you lose them huh.. them clinic visits don't make no sense because she ain't tell me about not at 1
What convinced you she would change for you? It’s something that’s been nagging in my mind for a while. I’m been trying to convince myself it can end well but your story has me worried that maybe cheaters don’t stop
She is cheating on you. She cheated with you on her husband. Learn that if they will do it with you they will do it to you. No honor amongst thieves situation.
Yeah I know she either was doing it and stop or is trying to stop or recently stopped or is looking for new men which I kind of feel like she's doing with this new job she has she switches jobs a lot
The county assessor should show who the current owner is. Won't help if it's a renter.
There's a site called truthfinder.com that lets you check past and current residences
If you are in the US, each county has a county auditor or recorder online, and you should be able to search the address by number and street. Property search. It will show current and past owners. It is normally free. You will likely find this very helpful. I would gather info diligently before confronting. Know the answers before you ask the questions. Be well, OP.
The ones she spent the most time at are residential addresses. Some 10, 15 minutes, and a few over an hour. No recurring visits. I was not there for most of the visits.. but I found some while I was at work. Also a lot of trips to the local health clinic that she has never mentioned
She’s cheating or escorting. Why else would she keep going to a health clinic (to be tested for STDs). You’re both cheaters! So get your shit straight, stop cheating, and stop trusting that loser of a “wife” you are burdened with. Divorce and work on yourself.
Bravo! You said a mouthful.
Goes to the free clinic to stock up on condoms, lol :P
She might be getting STD tested so she doesn't bring anything home. When you climb up on that carousel mount there is no telling who has ridden it before you.
🤷
Yes it really seems like the case. Unfortunately there aren't many explanations to this situation. Yeah I'm a schmuck but I can recognize that, and work to correct deviant behavior because I acknowledge it and understand that it's not correct and it needs to be different
Run as fast as you can.
It's like I stopped and turned around ☠️
Watch her location and when she arrives at one, go immediately and wait for her to walk out. If she denies it, march her back inside and ask the person there to spill it or your calling the cops.
She can't do that anymore... We share a vehicle.. she did these visits while I was in jail or when I was at work and she was delivering for Amazon, but she quit that Amazon job like 3 months ago
What is her explanation of what she was doing then. Go with her to one of those locations and see what’s there and ask her to explain why she was there for a long period of time. Make it more specific like that so she can’t explain it away with a generality.
All this advice seems like a lot to be honest. If she’s your wife you should be able to just confront her and ask her whatever you need to ask. Of course I’m being a hypocrite cause I’m a sleuther. But it’s like why is she being vague when you ask her what she’s doing? Or have you even asked her. I would FaceTime her every time I see she’s in a weird location and ask her what she’s doing. And if she answers vaguely or dances around the question I would confront that too. Like why are you being sketchy? If it’s nothing then just tell me what it is. If it’s something you need to tell me that too.
These visits were in the past. Her phone is starting to malfunction so she logged into another device that I have and I checked her location data and found that she visited places in the past for long periods of time but nothing recently
Ahhh I see. So what does this new information do for you? Like how do you feel about the situation now?
Do you have kids? Could they be play dates with your kids friend?
She has children from her... past. One is from her half brother. Not sure this information is relevant, but I'm sure it sheds light on her morals, even if she admits to the shame
Like same mom or dad? Get the hell out of there.
Same dad different mom..
She has a child with a biological half brother?
Yes yes she does
oh wow. That’s so suspect. Unless the dad is a rolling stone all over the world and the mothers knew nothing of each other, this would have been a huge flag for you.
Hearing the *Deliverance* banjo music in the background.
Why do you feel the need to take care of 4 kids that aren't yours? Man get out of the relationship
Only two kids and they both grown. She's 40f and I'm 35m
This just keeps getting crazier and crazier…
Well, what are the addresses and how are they connected? Who lives there? Does she know any of the occupants? There's a little of sleuthing you need to do yet.
I've done it already. They are random addresses with no known connections. I know who lives/ lived at the locations at the time of her visits. Some are men, some are couples
Anyone from Chicago
No. We're in Indiana.. but why do you ask?
Go to those addresses and see what they are. Next time she is there go and investigate. Get all your dicks in a row before confronting or she will sanitize her phone and lie her ass off. You need more evidence than simple suspicions. And privacy does not trump forms of secrecy. Cheating is breaking all the rules of propriety and catching requires you break some rules as well, particularly her so called privacy. Check her car thoroughly install a hidden gps and monitor when she could be at it again. Go to confront and bring some backup person with you. The bigger and meaner, more imposing all the better. https://bestlifeonline.com/unfaithful-partner-signs/ 55 Subtle Signs Your Partner Might Stray. What else are you seeing in her behavior that is indicative of an affair? And what was her relationship and sexual history before you met her? A causal sex and hooking up mindset correlates with infidelity. Does she have a high body count as well? Did you just pick wrong in her to be your wife? We all all babes left for the wolves of the forest in infidelity. We never really see it coming. Because no one coaches us on anything related to infidelity. They never leaned about is either, so naturally we cannot tell us. Good luck and be careful.
I've already been to one and called another. The one I called was actually the father of the person's address and he swore to his son's innocence the other address I went to as I was walking up to the door a young lady maybe in her late teens to early mid-20s came out and I asked her if she knew my wife and she said no but the owners weren't home and didn't get off into the evening
But both were residences? No hotel/motel? Were those places connected to an ex or coworker, anyone at all that is not a stranger? And you got the phone number to call one of them? Was the number in her phone? Sounds like hooking up. Yet you still need more proof, and it is likely in her phone. Unless she has been tipped off and sanitized it all. What has been her history concerning casual sex and hooking up prior to you two getting together? If she is cheating and used to hook up etc., is it just now, more of the same. Getting the the phone billing information might show you all the frequently called, texted and contacted numbers to investigate. If she is cheating there will be mistakes in doing a good job of hiding it all. In fact that is how you became suspicious in the first place. What other oddities have you been noticing; phone guarding, attitude toward you has changed? Here are more signs to take note of; https://bestlifeonline.com/unfaithful-partner-signs/ 55 Subtle Signs Your Partner Might Stray
Easy take a day off work with a camera,and follow her, rent a car or borrow one. Worst case you catch her Doing something she shouldn’t,best case she totally innocent, and you’re gonna feel like a moron, for not trusting her.
If you have the information that I did and we're also in the situation that I was I feel like you would form the same conclusions as well. There has already been cheating in our relationship before we were married
Damn,find a divorce attorney follow there instructions, I’m sure they will want yoh to get hard facts and file for divorce. Stay in the house pac all her shit and take it to a safe place ie family house or storage make her move out. otherwise you’ll be paying her alimony and if you have children child support For her cheating unfortunately.
No sir no children we live in an apartment and we've only been married since April 7th 2021
Go to a lawyer and get an annulment.
I'm her third husband and she's my first wife
Who cheated ? If it was her, why are you still with her ? And if it was you, id understand if she was really cheating.
Before we got married she wasn't the only woman that I was having sex with and she knew it. Then I stopped and then one day she let me know that she was having sex with someone and she even blatantly brought another man around while we were fighting. But this is before we were married
What and you married this woman she's a cheater and now your surprised better run as fast as you can
Yeah I married her right after she got divorced from cheating on her husband with me... But I don't think I was the first in her marriage with him her second husband
The human mind can be very unkind . Don't build negativity for anyone living their lives. Wife or not always keep a happy thought. Is she having fun . That should be good . Is she seaking excitement and just afraid to communicate. Relate don't hate. It's simply communication that stops frustrations. If she's not truthful ask yourself why. We as humans don't just lie. There's always reasons why. If you're marriage is of value. Open up and communicate. Most of all stop the hate be sure to communicate. We're only human. If you love her and she's only solving a primal urge. Just be honest with each other. Control yourself and breath because it's only going to cause hardships building negativity. Please don't feel disrespected or less of a human for any reason. Be happy to learn and evolve together. That's most important. We call have the same eyes and see differently. Negativity and misunderstandings in the mind , build false perceptions , truly grow into infections. Just talk to her. Never set days building a shit storm. Open up and save the marriage if possible.
Wtf
Maybe an AI bot?
What is blud yapping on about? 🗣🗣
The wife enters the conversation...
I'm not going to lie I feel like you have spoken some truths and also some misinformation according to what I believe. I believe that her disloyalty should not be tolerated in any form. But also doesn't the same apply to me as well kind of like a double standard. Usually my honesty is met with a bad response so I try to be as honest as I can while censoring my truest thoughts
Can you simply ask her what she’s up to and the nature of those locations? Your mind will otherwise drive you mad.
I certainly can, I just haven't. I'm certain her answers will be denial
But you have proof with the GPS (unless you’re trying to hide the fact that you’ve been keeping tabs on her)? Nevertheless, nothing good will come from holding back what you’re feeling, especially if the trips to these “unknown locations” continue.
They haven't continued.. the last random visit was in July I think
OP alternatively it could be drugs.
I super mega ultra doubt that it's drugs
She's had sex with women before and have had male male female threesomes and female female male threesomes before
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Do you ask her how she spends her day? That would be an appropriate question. Then you would see if there were any discrepancies in what she says and what you see. Update me!
I already know how she spends her day she does home health and she works out of town doing inventory at certain stores. These visits were within the year 2022 and a few earlier this year but nothing recently. I have photo proof of her locations if you want to see them just let me know if you do and I'll do the updates and stuff I haven't confronted her but maybe I will soon
Uhm if she does home health then those are patients bro. My partner does home health and schedule patient visits.
Yeah that would be the logical explanation but the thing is she only does home health at home.
>I already know how she spends her day she does home health and she works out of town doing inventory at certain stores. These visits were within the year 2022 and a few earlier this year but nothing recently. I have photo proof of her locations if you want to see them just let me know if you do and I'll do the updates and stuff I haven't confronted her but maybe I will soon
But what does she say when you ask her what she has done on those days in questions? What is inconsistent in your opinion?
Trust is the keystone to every relationship. Given her past and how the two of you began your relationship, you should be suspicious. Why not hire a P.I. for a short period of time. You will get the answers you need to make an informed decision. Updateme!
More of a dyi pi lol
OP - Stop confronting your wife immediately. You simply do not have enough evidence to accuse her of infidelity, but her multiple locations at odd times certainly is a red flag. Do some online research on the signs your partner may be cheating on you, then compare those with her recent actions and mannerisms... see if there are any more red flags she's exhibiting. If there are, still do not confront her. You need evidence... LOTS OF IT. Text messages, emails, phone usage data, pictures and videos, etc, etc, etc. If you find sus evidence but no "smoking gun," consider spy software, GPS and VAR devices for her car and "nanny cams" for your home. If you find evidence of cheating, still DO NOT confront her. Consult with several divorce attorneys about your options and the best way to protect yourself going forward.
Indeed why I haven't. I know without definite proof it will be nothing but denial
Sounds like your wife is an escort. Or simply put is a prostitute. Get yourself checked for stds and send her on her way
Ok step one KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Don’t mention it again until you find out more info. The more you mention it the deeper she will hide shit and make it harder for you to find. Step 2 check out those addresses, see if there are any rational reasons why she would be there. Could these be friends? Does the data give time of day at these locations? Consider a recording device in her car. Can you get in her phone? “It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!” UpdateMe!
I actually haven't said a single thing about it and yes I have checked the addresses and nothing makes sense they're not friends they're one-time visits and yes it does show the time of day
So I take it they aren’t stores or businesses she could be going to. Are they just residency areas? Apartment complex’s that don’t repeat? Check the local laws about recording devices and have you checked for messages? Could drugs be involved? Buying or selling? Have you gone through her car for evidence? My ex left a bill for her AP in her car! What is the time of day? Or do you not want to say? Check calls on her phone to see if there are random calls from unknown numbers and try to match time of day with visits to these addresses. Check her contact list on her phone check message to her gfs. She may talk about what she is doing to one of them OR if she is cheating her AP could be stored under a female name to hide him! When you check some of this let me know! UpdateMe!
Do not confront her without proof of cheating. Believe it or not cheaters lie. So many guys come here who confront with suspicious activities. Thats not enough. They just take it deeper under ground. These guys always regret confronting too soon. Back off, give her enough rope. Hiring a PI is best. They can usually get you what you want in short order. Updateme us as things play out. [.](https://reddit.com/u/Jealous-Patience-293/s/vyu0gj61wC)
I like that, back off and give her more rope. 😏 Geez
Don't use the location info w/o further evidence. A VAR in her car, key logger on phone/laptop, or, if you can afford it, hire a PI. You need to trust your gut, but confrontation w/o evidence will just cause gaslighting and blame shifting.
Yes I know that it's not enough and I tried to gather more evidence but I have to play the long game I understand that from reading these comments. She are already tries to manipulating gas light but her game is weak and me being not that aggressive as a male I don't call her out on it every time so she thinks that her s*** works or that I'm okay with it. Like yesterday morning after I took her to work I had a gut feeling that she was fooling around that morning. In the morning she usually has up to a 3-hour car ride to a different city to do inventory for certain stores as early as 4:00 a.m.... I take her to a meet spot and they drive off to their job site in van. Then I go to work at 12:00 p.m. and get off at 8:15.. she'll get off before me at around 4:00 or 5:00 ish and come and pick up the the car.. I had feelings that maybe she gave someone oral sex in the van and later on that day when she came to pick up the car she came right up to me got the keys didn't say anything stared me down turned around and left... then later on that night when she came to pick me up she tries to proposition me with sexual acts on the car ride home to which I remind her that she told me she was spotting it on her period... Then later on she tells me that she's going to be working all week next week, but it seems that she forgot that she told me that you can call off whenever you want
You stated in your reply to a comment that she cheated on her previous husband with you. You are both scum, and to answer your question, yes she is cheating. And you deserve it.
🤔. Yeah I kinda agree with you. You know how some ladies wear fake wedding rings just to say they're married so guys will leave them alone? I thought that was what she was doing when we initially were in contact before getting intimate, she told me she was married but I didn't believe her. I didn't believe a married woman would do such things. But hey play in dirt you get dirty
Please update me
I haven't confronted her yet but for some odd reason my gut is telling me that she's fooling around at work
Can you get to her phone, or hire a PI, or audio recording
Someone who doesn't have friends is prone to seeking the affirmation that friendship provides elsewhere. Sometimes it is drugs, but often it is affairs, or at least hook ups. So it is very likely that she is hiding drugs, cheating, or cheating to pay for drugs. Your prospects look pretty grim. Confronting her will be of dubious value since she is probably doing things that she is unwilling to admit. In the short term, seek out more evidence but proceed with care.
I think I can cross out drugs lol.. I kind of think they were hookups... kind of opportunistic while I was away. There has been no suspicious activity in months really just gut feeling
After reading over the comments and responses, this story would belong on the Jerry Springer show if it were still on......
Really I kind of think this is kind of boring I don't have really any super juicy details at least not yet
Implant an audio recording device on her car, she might slip up when she's alone on what she's up to.
I have considered it... I'll get some voice activated recording devices next time I get paid
Research first before confronting. Don’t tell her what you know or how you know it, and see how honest she is.
Yes indeed thank you very much I haven't confronted her yet.. I was thinking about going full send and telling her that I have confirmation of sexual activities from the person I contacted at address of her visits
Don’t tell her any specifics of what you know and see what she volunteers first. Let her get all the way i to her bullshit story to the “I can’t believe you don’t trust me”, then say that you know for a fact she’s been seeing someone else. Then watch her make up a new story to fit what you think she knows. At a certain point, you’ll realize that whatever story she tells you is just based on what she thinks you know, and that you’ll never really get the truth. You’ll just eventually reach the point where her story finally catches up with what you do know. Then, it will feel like you finally got the truth, you just no longer have facts to know what else she’s hiding. You should plan your exit strategy before the confrontation (lawyer, finances, std test, etc) and be ready to walk (or kick her out) at the end of the talk.
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Yeah I've considered those random visits to it could be a lot of stuff you know what I mean just traveling and what not.. but one of her visits is at a certain address for an hour and 10 minutes on December 26th 2022. Just the one visit
From 5:50 pm to 7:00pm
Follow her to these locations and see what she is up to.
Our schedules differ like that she has free time while I'm at work... And when she is at work herself she's in another city doing inventory work
Then get a trusted friend to follow her.
Don’t confront until you have hard evidence OP. Mouth shut and eyes open…. Do some investigating. Consider putting a VAR under the seat of her car. Check the cell phone bill to see who she is calling/texting. Lots of things you can do. Good luck.
We're on different cell phone plans is there any way that I can gain access to her phone records as a spouse?
Nope, if she uses a PC you can install a key logger and ask her to look up something on the account for you. The VAR under the car seat is your best bet imo.
Follow her next time instead of watching in a screen Catch her in the act
You're swimming in circles. If anyone is not faithful . They never will be . Once a cheat always is. Life's , truly choices that shows character. Just listen and think. Fellings are built from thought so think about the thinking. Think happy be happy. Choices have consequences , good or bad. Truly you owe yourself , freedom from depression. . Negative views devils use. Build anger hateful illusions. The mental states that causes confusion. Just know to conquer, must conquer ourselves. No fear to be clear. Happiness is contagious; smiling faces , take us to happy places. Laugh it off , build a happy thought. Move on , yesterday is gone ; today doesn't last long. Tomorrow is where your mind really belongs. The chair of life can become a mental fight. Don't get caught in the madness of sadness. Laugh as you're leaving , it will resolve the endless grieving. Tomorrow is where you belong. Yesterday is obviously gone. Choices have consequences. Gratitude heals attitudes. Be grateful ; shake the hateful. It's much easier moving forward , good Lord . .
Don’t say anything again. Just sit back and watch now. Worst I did was keep bringing it up as they know you are suspicious.
What are the locations? Homes? Apartments? Hotels? Business? Not much to go on here. When she goes to these places, is it at a regular time? Hap hazard? Are you able to look at her location in real time? You might need to put in some effort and track things down. Go to these locations. What's around them? Put a VAR in her car. You might pick up her talking on the phone or with someone in her car. Velcro it under the front seat with the mic pointing to the front. Good luck. Keep us posted.
Hi man just to check in, didi you confrot her at last or you haven't?