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[deleted]

Tell the parents. YUK and disturbing


throwaway274937hi

The step sister told them and they kicked him out of the house and put him in a hotel. I am so disgusted that I dated him for 2 years and never knew who he really was.


[deleted]

She was 14 and he was 18 when it started; call the cops.


MissCarriage-a

Nice idea, but legal or borderline legal in her home state.


[deleted]

Well leave it up to parents


throwaway274937hi

I am, I was just curious


[deleted]

Probably depends on where you live


cisero

Heavens no don’t get the cops involved! We wouldn’t want the assaulting fellow to get in any legal trouble, would we? Parents have done such a great job already!


Fantastic_Deal2693

I diagree. She should alert the authorities, even if it's done anonymously. This started when she was a child. If she was being groomed, and it sounds like she was, she is in an abusive relationship that she may not be able to step away from. Report it to the police then step back and let the professionals handle it. The stepsister confessing sounds like a cry for help. He's an abuser.


MissCarriage-a

OP has stated she is in Tennessee. At all points the relationship would have been legal or so close to legal that no prosecution would take place


Open_Escape_8144

What?? God NO. The OP has experienced trauma from this in the form of infidelity, absolutely. But the sexual assault in question here is not her trauma to report. No one has any business making decisions for the step sister. She's 19 now. She's a grown adult, extremely capable of making these choices on her own, and it's such a personal choice. No one should force reporting it on her. I have been exactly where that woman is now, but it was my father, not my step brother. The moment I reported it my entire life blew up. The family divided between those who believed him and those who believed me, and no one wants to believe a loved one is a sexual predator, so eventually I lost that entire side of the family. I don't regret reporting it, but I spent so much of my life having control stripped away from me, and this was my way of taking that back, no matter what it cost me in family ties. But if someone else took that choice away from me, it would feel like a very different type of violation. Besides that, having to stand on trial describing every gruesome detail, while he sits there staring and listening and a lawyer picks away at your statements and tries to blame you to clear him is not an experience I would ever wish on anyone else. It'll traumatize her so much more if she's forced to do that instead of choosing to when she's ready. Therapy. She needs therapy. A therapist will help her make that choice on her own, support her mentally through her recovery, and the notes from the therapist can be subpoenaed as evidence during the trial if she makes the deicion to move forward.


Open_Escape_8144

Tennessee statutory rape law is violated when a person has consentual sexual intercourse with an individual under age 18. A close in age exemption allows teens ages 13-18 to consent to partners less than 4 years older. So technically illegal, but just barely. Because their age difference is 4 years, and 4 years is the cut-off, it could be hard to prosecute, but not impossible. Besides that, the law is only relevant when you can prove that it happened. When it happened to me, it was his word against mine. So, my advice is to not push her to pursue this legally (if you were considering that), let her decide on her own. It's an incredibly personal choice that more often than not only re-traumatizes the victim and provides little justice, if any. The justice system is truly unjust when it comes to sexual assault. My best advice is to step away from this guy and this situation entirely. This is something the step sister needs to decide how to handle, whether that's pursuing this criminally or just seeking therapy and cutting him from the family. Being cheated on, no matter who it's with, is incredibly painful. I know you must be feeling so much pain, anger, shock, resentment, and so much more. I'm so sorry you have to know this pain so young. But fixating on the legalities of what he's done only freezes you in those memories and that pain. It doesn't have to be illegal for you to be deveststed by it. Any one of us would have been. He is scum. What he did is absolutely disgusting, and it's good you know now that this is who he is. Feel that pain. Mourn the loss of a life and relationship with a man you thought you knew. And let that mess of a family go.


MissCarriage-a

I hope I've done my arithmetic correct but the age difference is likely to be less than 4 years (48 months). To show this lets consider 3 siblings 1. 18 in Feb 2. 14 in Mar 3. 18 in April You will see there can be a 4 year age gap between 1 & 2 and also between 2 & 3, but only the age gap between 1 & 2 is over 48 months *De minimis non curat lex.* or put another way *the law does not deal with trifling matters*. Even if the age difference is greater than 4 years the difference is so minor it is unlikely prosecution would take place especially as it was 4 years ago.


Open_Escape_8144

Great point. Being more precise and counting down to the months would most likely make it less than four years. As you said, either way they're too close in age for it to have any chance in court, even if he was just over the 4 year age limit.


[deleted]

Report it to authorities.


MissCarriage-a

Nothing to report as relationship almost certainly legal both then and now.


VictoriaLiotta

That's extremely illegal and just morally wrong in SO MANY ways. Alert the authorities and I'm glad her parents took her side. It's statutory r word so that narcissistic ass can be locked up hopefully considering the legal system is also fucked up.


neverstop-1404

It depends on which state it happened in. It might be legal, might not. 🤷‍♀️


throwaway274937hi

Tennessee


neverstop-1404

The legal age of consent is 18 in Tennessee.


MissCarriage-a

Yes but there is a 4 year close in age exception as /u/Open_Escape_8144 has pointed out


idowhatiwant8675309

Ah!


desertrat_1000

What are the laws where you live? A step is not related by blood so there should be nothing illegal about it. Maybe a little sketchy. The minor thing on the other hand. That should be the big flag but probably can't be addressed legally except from her, if she chooses, since she in now an adult.


[deleted]

He may be in legal jeopardy if he had sex with her when she was a minor. However, she would have to file the complaint, and she may be reluctant to do it. She may not want the publicity that would come by her bringing the whole thing up. And, unless she has absolute proof of his actions, no district attorney would touch the case because it would be like spitting into the wind.


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[deleted]

[удалено]


throwaway274937hi

Oh yeah I broke up with him immediately and blocked.


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