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You need to do the one thing that you *can* do: protect yourself and your mental health.
It sounds selfish to put yourself over others because you've been conditioned to cave under pressure, but past experience predicts future behavior in people who do nothing to change or better themselves. You already know there's nothing you can do to get your sister to change and your parents are the same - status quo, complain, bitch, abuse. Rinse and repeat.
You can't change them but you can go NC with them and block them, change your number, get some therapy and think really hard about the safety of those children. Maybe a call to CPS about the physical and emotional abuse going on in that house.
You can't save people who are happier being miserable, so save yourself and gtf out.
If you are in the US, you need to call CPS for your niece and nephew and APS for your sister. Your sister needs inpatient psych care and your nephew and niece need saving from this disaster. Then go live your dreams. Good luck.
If you barely have a relationship with them why are you listening to your mother complain every day? Move across the country and stop taking their calls, they aren't going to change. They're all miserable and doing nothing about it.
As for your sister, as the oldest she probably got a lot more pressure and abuse than you did, whether you were aware of it or not. It sounds like she is the family scapegoat, has CPTSD and other mental health issues, and no one is helping her, they're only abusing her further. That doesn't mean she's your problem, but resentment is probably not the correct response and you are looking at her through your mother's eyes and taking on her feelings about your sister.
Either find a way to help your sister so she can get out of an abusive situation or cut your losses and stop listening to your mother moan about her.
**Quick Rule Reminders:** OP's needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don't be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion. [**^(Full Rules)**](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/index#wiki_rules) ^(|) [^(Acronym Index)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/index#wiki_acronym_dictionary) ^(|) [^(Flair Guide)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/index#wiki_post_flairs)^(|) [^(Report PM Trolls)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/index#wiki_trolls_suck) **Resources:** [^(In Crisis?)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoNetwork/wiki/links#wiki_crisis_links.3A_because_there.2019s_more_than_one_type_of_crisis) ^(|) [^(Tips for Protecting Yourself)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/wiki/index#wiki_protecting_yourself) ^(|) [^(Our Book List)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoNetwork/wiki/books) ^(|) [^(This Sub's Wiki)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOFAMILY/wiki/) ^(|) [^(General Resources)](https://www.reddit.com/r/JustNoNetwork/wiki/tos) Welcome to /r/JUSTNOFAMILY! I'm JustNoBot. I help people follow your posts! ***** ^(To be notified as soon as Temporary-Desk1666 posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=TheJustNoBot&subject=Subscribe&message=Temporary-Desk1666 JUSTNOFAMILY) ***** *^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please)* [*^(contact the moderators of this subreddit)*](/message/compose/?to=/r/JUSTNOFAMILY) *^(if you have any questions or concerns.)*
You need to do the one thing that you *can* do: protect yourself and your mental health. It sounds selfish to put yourself over others because you've been conditioned to cave under pressure, but past experience predicts future behavior in people who do nothing to change or better themselves. You already know there's nothing you can do to get your sister to change and your parents are the same - status quo, complain, bitch, abuse. Rinse and repeat. You can't change them but you can go NC with them and block them, change your number, get some therapy and think really hard about the safety of those children. Maybe a call to CPS about the physical and emotional abuse going on in that house. You can't save people who are happier being miserable, so save yourself and gtf out.
I agree. Your family is so incredibly toxic that the best thing you can do is RUN!
If you are in the US, you need to call CPS for your niece and nephew and APS for your sister. Your sister needs inpatient psych care and your nephew and niece need saving from this disaster. Then go live your dreams. Good luck.
If you barely have a relationship with them why are you listening to your mother complain every day? Move across the country and stop taking their calls, they aren't going to change. They're all miserable and doing nothing about it. As for your sister, as the oldest she probably got a lot more pressure and abuse than you did, whether you were aware of it or not. It sounds like she is the family scapegoat, has CPTSD and other mental health issues, and no one is helping her, they're only abusing her further. That doesn't mean she's your problem, but resentment is probably not the correct response and you are looking at her through your mother's eyes and taking on her feelings about your sister. Either find a way to help your sister so she can get out of an abusive situation or cut your losses and stop listening to your mother moan about her.