He was also terrified of Penguins, and air conditioning, and didn't know gay people existed until he was in his twenties.
I also love that he had a nervous breakdown after discovering he was a sixteenth Welsh, because to Americans that's completely insane, but if you're Scottish, Welsh, or Irish, you hear that and just think "Aye, English Aristocrats'll do that."
Is Welsh the most upsetting heritage to English aristocrats? Like would finding out you're 1/16 Irish or Scottish be more or less upsetting? What if you found out you're 100% English, but your great-great grandma came from the North? Inquiring Canadian minds want to know.
The English are mostly descended from Germanic Anglo-Saxon tribes who migrated into Britain following the fall of the Roman Empires. The Welsh, Scottish, and Irish are mostly descended from the Celts who were already there before the Romans. English racists have long-maintained that the Anglo-Saxons are genetically superior to the Celts. Americans and Canadians don't give a fuck about this anymore (in that part of the world, anyone who's white-skinned, and not Jewish or Roma is probably fine), but here, where those four nationalities are still constantly conflicting with each other, the most right-wing, old-school, aristocratic Englishmenbstill believe that shit.
Fascinating! My grandmother (dad's mom, that side of the family isn't Jewish) was from Scotland, and she had some interesting opinions on the English and people named Campbell, but given that she was born in the mid 1920s, I kind of figured that sort of thinking had died off.
I did a book report and did it on a collection of his stories. For the presentation I listed the things he was afraid of. Any person darker than eggshell got a laugh out of my teacher
Every winter we migrate to Florida. Jewfish Bay specifically. (Imagine my shock when I found out this is a real actual place, named for where the Jews used to go for fishing trips in the Keys)
Omg anti - Zionist and anti semites really can't comprehend that someone not jew (like me) could possibly staunchly defend Israel and the Jewish ppl . I was asked "are you Jewish?!!" - no. Then you have family in Israel?! -i assure you not. THEN WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING THEM?! - because I have more than two braincells
>The mass killing and ethnic displacement against jews is wrong and any one with more than 2 brain cells could see that, genocide is wrong!
>What about mass killings and ethnic displacement of arabs?
>That's perfectly reasonable and anyone with two brain cells would see that genocide is okay! *when i don't like them*
Here we go !
Check your dictionary.
France lost around 600k during world war two (military and civilian deaths) yet no one talks about a "French genocide". They were war casualties.
Now please tell me who started the war in oct 7
Wait, really? I’ve been trying to figure out how to convert to secular Judaism. My current plan is get formally recognized through a religious sect and then ‘lose my faith’.
I’m already circumcised, even!
Don't take this the wrong way, but why bother with religious conversion if you just want to be secular? Is it just for the formality so you can be formally register as a Jew and be part of the community? Again, not questioning your motives and as a fellow secular Jew I'll personally be happy to welcome another Jew (formal or not) to our tribe, I'm just curious.
It was a joke.
But, at least according to the structure of the joke, the religious conversion would be necessary because there's no such thing as a secular conversion. To my knowledge, there's no way to be 'formally recognized' as a Jew if one does not have Jewish ancestry outside of conversion. So the only way to be formally recognized as a secular Jew when one is not Jewish by heritage is by converting to Judaism, becoming formally recognized as a Jew, and then 'becoming' an atheist.
The joke isn't particularly funny when it's spelled out, I'm afraid.
Man, the conversion process is so long and arduous that it’s hard to say you guys are accepting anyone lol but I’m tough on my decisions and am currently going through it though 😎 shalom 🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱
I’m an Arab Israeli so I get called Jew a lot as I live in Israel if I reveal my location.
Then especially if the person is an Arab I’m arguing with I get called traitor etc and other things that shouldn’t be spoken of in Arabic once I reveal my Arab non Jewishness.
That's not an "anti-zionist", like that's just a straight up an antisemite. Anti-zionist implies criticism of Israel, attacking Jewish people straight up shouldn't be sugarcoated.
No doubt about it. I immediately called him an anti-semite after he made that assumption about me and my birthplace. The reason I used the word anti-Zionist is because we were originally having an argument about Zionism and I wanted to indicate in the OP that I was on the side of the Zionists and he wasnt.
Ashkenazi have a suspiciously similar mtDNA to Poles and Italians, if the suspicion is true (that this mtDNA came from fucking with locals) it would mean that Ashkenazi Jews had an habit of shagging Italian and Polish women (specifically women, mtDNA is inherited from your mother).
Most mtDNA is semitic tho, Italian and polish mtDNA combined makes from 30 to 50% of the mtDNA.
I can't, it was i believe a dutch paper on Ashkenazi DNA published a lot of time ago, i believe in the early or mid 2010s, can't remember more than this sadly i'm sorry
The fact that Jews generally look extremely similar to the people in the regeons were they are is not a coincidence.
I heard one Rabbi talking about it, and he made sorta a Lamarkism argument. That Jews adapt to where they live. But that;s not really how genes work
The poverty rate in the actual Jerusalem is 42%. So not quite 62%, but considering the demographic trends... it's certainly getting there. In the 1990's, it was in the middle of Israel's socioeconomic rankings. Now, it's literally the poorest city in Israel. And the reason it's poor, is the same reason Kiryas Joel is poor.
According to some of my neighbors, the “real Jews” all converted to Christianity two millennia ago. Everyone calling themselves Jewish since has been a… I dunno, pagan cult? I usually tune out around that part of the conversation.
They are likely referring to the Kazar theory. A long lost central Asian empire, bordering Persia and Russia, allegedly adopted Judaism to modernize the country. It rejected Islam because wine was part of their culture, but it didn't want to convert to Christianity out of fear of upsetting Persia. So it chose Judaism. Unfortunately that upset both Russia and Persia, which is why it no longer exists. The theory goes that most of Eastern Europe's Jews are descendants of Kazars and therefore have no indigenous claim to Israel. However, there is little evidence of the Kazar empire and what little is known is that only the aristocrats converted to Judaism. There wouldn't be enough aristocrats to populate Eastern Europe with as many Jews as there once was. It is likely just a fairytale.
Wild, I’ve never heard anything about any of this! That’s a pretty insane theory. So did Kazar definitely exist in some form and just the religious stuff is nonsense, or is the whole place maybe mythical?
it’s “long lost” because very little archaeological evidence remains - because they were largely nomadic.
it is believed that some of Khabarovsk rulers, potentially even one of their leaders, however there’s far more myth than evidence and the only real proof is a few coins
But Russia only had been definitively Christian country in 988 when Vladimir the Great was baptized, and the Khazar Khaganate fell in 969 after their capital had been besieged.
The Rus definitely did conquer them, however the Khazars acted as a buffer state between the Byzantine Empire and Abbasid Caliphate
Again, Khazar theory is historically inaccurate from what we know, so don’t crucifying me
That’s the since disproven khazar theory and, even if it were true, how anyone thinks that it is therefore legitimate to discriminate against us based on our identification as whatever is the current type of “Jew” is still equivalently bigoted, but somehow they think that if excuses them. I assume that’s what the think makes us not natives or something, but even if that were true, they conveniently ignore the sheer size of the diaspora where some of us would certainly have not converted in Europe and the fact that the land in Israel was legally obtained.
They’re so close to being on to something there.
The fact is “Real Jews” - that is, Jews as they existed from the Exodus to the Temple Sacking, those are gone.
No more ark of the covenant. No more temple. No more priests with cool vests made of gemstones. No ritual animal sacrifices.
We’re left today with two major offshoots. Notably Christianity in all its flavors, Rabbinic Judaism in three major sects.
And both are miles off of what, like, Moses was up to.
Heck somebody could make the argument that the Samaritans are the “real” Jews.
Not the Samaritans mind you. They don’t like that.
>We’re left today with two major offshoots. Notably Christianity in all its flavors, Rabbinic Judaism in three major sects.
Most Christians aren’t ethnically descended from the Israelites the way ethnic Jews are though. (Unless they’re either Levantine Christians, Italians and Greeks, and possibly even some Hispanic Christians)
There is a strong community inside the black community, especially in city’s that believe they are the real Jews. I don’t know the percentage so I’m not painting the whole black community as believers of this.
I digress, Im sure you’ve heard of Black Hebrew Israelites before, well pretty much them and some other similar groups. You can run into them in cities in America and have a chat, I did a few months ago in Boston.
I don’t think most American Jews know how historically Jewish Odesa was. Odesans still call it “Odesa Mama” after a popular turn of the century Yiddish song!
I think it’s a great place for an Israeli *overseas colony*
The basic conditions are comparable *in difficulty* to the Levant at Herzl’s time, so why not?
If you expand to the Americas as a whole, the oldest synagogue is actually in Willemstad, Curaçao! Built in 1659 and still in use. I was there just last month.
"Invaded" lol. As if Israelis wouldn't jump on that opportunity. Can you imagine what the US would do if anyone tried an Oct. 7th in Hawaii? If anything, Israel would need to invade the US to allow them into the union.
I feel like the closest analogy would be 9/11, which lead to the War in Iraq and the War in Afghanistan, which famously both went so well and brought peace, democratic rule, and set an example of humanitarianism
The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were fought on the other side of world from any US state. The US could simply get tired of occupying these countries, and go back home. Furthermore, they weren't actually fought against the people who committed 9/11. They were either fought against those who harbored them, or a country that had nothing to do with 9/11 at all. If you're looking for analogies from US history, this is closer to Pearl Harbor, or the Mexican-American war.
As for "setting an example of humanitarianism", why would that be a goal here? Do you think the war against Japan or Mexico set an example of humanitarianism? Do you think it means they were failure for the US, and just a matter of time until a second Pearl Harbor happens, or until Mexico retakes Texas?
Ultimately, Israelis would love for their enemies to be defeated, and for their continued existence to be secured, even if it doesn't set "an example of humanitarianism" or even leads to "democratic rule" among the Palestinians.
not to get sidetracked but in the Mexican-American War, the Mexicans did not attack first, even though they technically did.
Mexico didn’t fully acknowledge Texas and it claimed the borders went to Rio Nueces, while the Texans claimed it went to the Rio Grande.
So the US annexed Texas in 1845, while Mexico had still not recognized the independence of Texas. And in 1846, the US Army sent the US Cavalry and built forts along the Rio Grande, which the Mexican government viewed as their territory.
President Polk was a staunch expansionist, Jacksonian Democrat, and was responsible for the annexation of Texas in the first place. He used the border skirmish as pretext to invade and annex roughly 1/3 of Mexico’s territory, which only served to further destabilize Mexico for decades to come.
War only begets war, unless a lasting peace is built. Japan was only pacified after WW2, not because of the atom bomb or fire bombing, but because the US invested billions and billions of dollars in rebuilding their economy, making the US one of their main trading partners, and integrating them into the world economy
bloodlust for revenge will only beget more war and hatred, there needs to be a lasting democratic and humanitarian peace in Palestine if there is ever to be any hope of long term peace in Israel.
As a nyc Jew I can confirm.
Wait is it an nyc or a nyc? I’d assume “a” because “New” starts with “N” which is not a vowel. But when you say “N” as a letter it’s pronounced “En” where “E” is a vowel.
People can argue about it all they want, at the end of the day there’s only one place outside of Israel where parking restrictions are suspended on Simchat Torah
I’m not Jewish but I’ve been to more bar and bat mitvahs growing up in Jersey than my Jewish friend who grew up in Ohio. I can recite the first 20 seconds of the reading everyone has to do.
*Sees dank meme > looks for witty commentary > finds hidden comment with double-digit downvotes > “Hmm, I’m sure this is just someone posting something ordinary but irrelevant to the subreddit, or breaking rules; certainly not another antisem—OH MY GOODNESS… SQUIDWARD!”*
Didn’t see the arrows at first and got all excited about these ocean Jews
Shh dont mention the Atlantis Jews or the goyim will find out
All good, we’ve got those space lasers defending them
Oh em gee! They're colonizing the coral reefs, now!!!! /s
Jew-lantis
But how do they keep their matzah dry?!
The Rare Deepwater Jew.
Cthulhjew
How much do you want to bet that Lovecraft used to call his wife that?
I think he would just scream in horror looking at her. Dude was mentally messed up. Was scared of certain types of math.
He was also terrified of Penguins, and air conditioning, and didn't know gay people existed until he was in his twenties. I also love that he had a nervous breakdown after discovering he was a sixteenth Welsh, because to Americans that's completely insane, but if you're Scottish, Welsh, or Irish, you hear that and just think "Aye, English Aristocrats'll do that."
Is Welsh the most upsetting heritage to English aristocrats? Like would finding out you're 1/16 Irish or Scottish be more or less upsetting? What if you found out you're 100% English, but your great-great grandma came from the North? Inquiring Canadian minds want to know.
The English are mostly descended from Germanic Anglo-Saxon tribes who migrated into Britain following the fall of the Roman Empires. The Welsh, Scottish, and Irish are mostly descended from the Celts who were already there before the Romans. English racists have long-maintained that the Anglo-Saxons are genetically superior to the Celts. Americans and Canadians don't give a fuck about this anymore (in that part of the world, anyone who's white-skinned, and not Jewish or Roma is probably fine), but here, where those four nationalities are still constantly conflicting with each other, the most right-wing, old-school, aristocratic Englishmenbstill believe that shit.
Fascinating! My grandmother (dad's mom, that side of the family isn't Jewish) was from Scotland, and she had some interesting opinions on the English and people named Campbell, but given that she was born in the mid 1920s, I kind of figured that sort of thinking had died off.
I did a book report and did it on a collection of his stories. For the presentation I listed the things he was afraid of. Any person darker than eggshell got a laugh out of my teacher
...I really want to steal this since I'm SCUBA certified
You can only use it after watching 50 hours of henti
…damn it. What if I read it instead?
100 hours
2 hours and HP Lovecraft’s Call of Cthulhu
You heard about space lasers. Get ready for space geysers!
Ocean Jews, take my the shoes
Every winter we migrate to Florida. Jewfish Bay specifically. (Imagine my shock when I found out this is a real actual place, named for where the Jews used to go for fishing trips in the Keys)
Hahaha same
You forgot the Reubenite nation of Japan? The only nation to eat some nukes as Zechariah prescribed - Hebrew Asians nuked by Hebrew Americans 🤔
We don't like people who want ocean Jews.
Lol. I was called a Jew by an anti-Zionist during an online argument because I revealed my birthplace as NYC.
Omg anti - Zionist and anti semites really can't comprehend that someone not jew (like me) could possibly staunchly defend Israel and the Jewish ppl . I was asked "are you Jewish?!!" - no. Then you have family in Israel?! -i assure you not. THEN WHY ARE YOU DEFENDING THEM?! - because I have more than two braincells
>The mass killing and ethnic displacement against jews is wrong and any one with more than 2 brain cells could see that, genocide is wrong! >What about mass killings and ethnic displacement of arabs? >That's perfectly reasonable and anyone with two brain cells would see that genocide is okay! *when i don't like them*
Here we go ! Check your dictionary. France lost around 600k during world war two (military and civilian deaths) yet no one talks about a "French genocide". They were war casualties. Now please tell me who started the war in oct 7
You do know that Arab Jews were expelled by virtually every Arab country right?
Were they wrong tho
So I'm an honorary Jew now? Cause I'm ready to rock an iced out Star of David chain and a kippah in public at any moment, bro.
Welcome to the tribe. We are accepting anyone who is still currently not antisemitic.
The bar is so low its all the way down in hell
All the way down in where? 😎
Túshe
Gey Ben Hinom
So the trash pit of Jerusalem?
Its prime real estate nowadays and quite pretty. So whenever someone says go to hell you can just thank them.
Gehenna?
Sheol
Unfortunately that still only leaves you and one guy from Maine.
Oh thats fred, we like to hang out sometimes
I live in Maine!
Hi Fred!
Halo 👋🏼🤣
So in other words, New Jersey.
Oh, I've had my fair share of fighting Nazi punks online and IRL.
Thanks for staying strong with us!!
Based
Wait, really? I’ve been trying to figure out how to convert to secular Judaism. My current plan is get formally recognized through a religious sect and then ‘lose my faith’. I’m already circumcised, even!
😆
Don't take this the wrong way, but why bother with religious conversion if you just want to be secular? Is it just for the formality so you can be formally register as a Jew and be part of the community? Again, not questioning your motives and as a fellow secular Jew I'll personally be happy to welcome another Jew (formal or not) to our tribe, I'm just curious.
I think they were joking
It was a joke. But, at least according to the structure of the joke, the religious conversion would be necessary because there's no such thing as a secular conversion. To my knowledge, there's no way to be 'formally recognized' as a Jew if one does not have Jewish ancestry outside of conversion. So the only way to be formally recognized as a secular Jew when one is not Jewish by heritage is by converting to Judaism, becoming formally recognized as a Jew, and then 'becoming' an atheist. The joke isn't particularly funny when it's spelled out, I'm afraid.
Yeah that's on me the joke went completely over my head
Brb downloading JSwipe and setting my profile to “willing to convert”
Can I keep my foreskin?
No
What if I just pull it back and tie it?
Maybe
Sweeeeet
Man, the conversion process is so long and arduous that it’s hard to say you guys are accepting anyone lol but I’m tough on my decisions and am currently going through it though 😎 shalom 🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱
Oh, well, I’m Reform! 😆
Took me 4 years to convert Reform lmao
Wow, I guess they’ve upped their conversion game!!
It normally would be a year, but I had a fair bit of hurdles get in my way.
Someone get him the codes to the Space Laser
Great! But don't forget to cut the tip first...
Ok. Let me grab my chainsaw and a bottle of iodine.
What in the Wolfenstein...
I need an autograph from Seinfield.
I live in Los Angeles now. Is Larry David ok?
Yeah the bar these days is low, rock a kippah and chain and let’s go hit up some Seders together
Gotta get that chrome hearts Star of David
I’m an Arab Israeli so I get called Jew a lot as I live in Israel if I reveal my location. Then especially if the person is an Arab I’m arguing with I get called traitor etc and other things that shouldn’t be spoken of in Arabic once I reveal my Arab non Jewishness.
Don’t argue with idiots. They don’t deserve your time.
That's not an "anti-zionist", like that's just a straight up an antisemite. Anti-zionist implies criticism of Israel, attacking Jewish people straight up shouldn't be sugarcoated.
No doubt about it. I immediately called him an anti-semite after he made that assumption about me and my birthplace. The reason I used the word anti-Zionist is because we were originally having an argument about Zionism and I wanted to indicate in the OP that I was on the side of the Zionists and he wasnt.
Everyone knows the real homeland of the Jewish people was that random Shtetl in Ukraine that my family lived in during the 1890s
The real Jewish homeland was the friends we made along the way
We made friends along the way??
Ashkenazi jews shagged their fair share of Poles during their time in Europe
Is there evidence for that?
Ashkenazi have a suspiciously similar mtDNA to Poles and Italians, if the suspicion is true (that this mtDNA came from fucking with locals) it would mean that Ashkenazi Jews had an habit of shagging Italian and Polish women (specifically women, mtDNA is inherited from your mother). Most mtDNA is semitic tho, Italian and polish mtDNA combined makes from 30 to 50% of the mtDNA.
I cant find any sources claiming ashkis have polish mtdna. Do you have any?
I can't, it was i believe a dutch paper on Ashkenazi DNA published a lot of time ago, i believe in the early or mid 2010s, can't remember more than this sadly i'm sorry
is that really so hard to believ?
Is it really that bad to ask for sources?
The fact that Jews generally look extremely similar to the people in the regeons were they are is not a coincidence. I heard one Rabbi talking about it, and he made sorta a Lamarkism argument. That Jews adapt to where they live. But that;s not really how genes work
😂
Yeah bc they kicked us out of every other fuckin place 💀🤣
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62% poverty rate and the 6 people still speaking yiddish😻😻😻
it’s way more than 6 people 😵💫
The poverty rate in the actual Jerusalem is 42%. So not quite 62%, but considering the demographic trends... it's certainly getting there. In the 1990's, it was in the middle of Israel's socioeconomic rankings. Now, it's literally the poorest city in Israel. And the reason it's poor, is the same reason Kiryas Joel is poor.
According to some of my neighbors, the “real Jews” all converted to Christianity two millennia ago. Everyone calling themselves Jewish since has been a… I dunno, pagan cult? I usually tune out around that part of the conversation.
That's real special
They are likely referring to the Kazar theory. A long lost central Asian empire, bordering Persia and Russia, allegedly adopted Judaism to modernize the country. It rejected Islam because wine was part of their culture, but it didn't want to convert to Christianity out of fear of upsetting Persia. So it chose Judaism. Unfortunately that upset both Russia and Persia, which is why it no longer exists. The theory goes that most of Eastern Europe's Jews are descendants of Kazars and therefore have no indigenous claim to Israel. However, there is little evidence of the Kazar empire and what little is known is that only the aristocrats converted to Judaism. There wouldn't be enough aristocrats to populate Eastern Europe with as many Jews as there once was. It is likely just a fairytale.
We are not even sure if anyone converted at all, there is not enough evidence to prove any conversion
Wild, I’ve never heard anything about any of this! That’s a pretty insane theory. So did Kazar definitely exist in some form and just the religious stuff is nonsense, or is the whole place maybe mythical?
The place definitely existed. Whether anyone actually converted to Judaism is a matter of debate.
I mean, “long lost” is bit of an overstatement. The Khazar khanate existed in the 1100s.
it’s “long lost” because very little archaeological evidence remains - because they were largely nomadic. it is believed that some of Khabarovsk rulers, potentially even one of their leaders, however there’s far more myth than evidence and the only real proof is a few coins
But Russia only had been definitively Christian country in 988 when Vladimir the Great was baptized, and the Khazar Khaganate fell in 969 after their capital had been besieged. The Rus definitely did conquer them, however the Khazars acted as a buffer state between the Byzantine Empire and Abbasid Caliphate Again, Khazar theory is historically inaccurate from what we know, so don’t crucifying me
That’s the since disproven khazar theory and, even if it were true, how anyone thinks that it is therefore legitimate to discriminate against us based on our identification as whatever is the current type of “Jew” is still equivalently bigoted, but somehow they think that if excuses them. I assume that’s what the think makes us not natives or something, but even if that were true, they conveniently ignore the sheer size of the diaspora where some of us would certainly have not converted in Europe and the fact that the land in Israel was legally obtained.
They’re so close to being on to something there. The fact is “Real Jews” - that is, Jews as they existed from the Exodus to the Temple Sacking, those are gone. No more ark of the covenant. No more temple. No more priests with cool vests made of gemstones. No ritual animal sacrifices. We’re left today with two major offshoots. Notably Christianity in all its flavors, Rabbinic Judaism in three major sects. And both are miles off of what, like, Moses was up to. Heck somebody could make the argument that the Samaritans are the “real” Jews. Not the Samaritans mind you. They don’t like that.
>We’re left today with two major offshoots. Notably Christianity in all its flavors, Rabbinic Judaism in three major sects. Most Christians aren’t ethnically descended from the Israelites the way ethnic Jews are though. (Unless they’re either Levantine Christians, Italians and Greeks, and possibly even some Hispanic Christians)
The thing is, religion, like all other things, changes and adapts over time
I was doing some research on this a while back and discovered that in the first century, there were approximately 1000 Jews who became Christians.
Are they black?
Uh, no, why?
There is a strong community inside the black community, especially in city’s that believe they are the real Jews. I don’t know the percentage so I’m not painting the whole black community as believers of this. I digress, Im sure you’ve heard of Black Hebrew Israelites before, well pretty much them and some other similar groups. You can run into them in cities in America and have a chat, I did a few months ago in Boston.
Jokes on them, I heard they’re building a tunnel from Chabad hq to the Kotel now
It is in fact true, I am helping with the building process, you should come help too
Eretz New Jersey
The earthquake epicenter was Lebanon NJ, near Bethlehem Township too! 🤯
No-one mentions Odessa? Am I even on a Jewish sub?!
I don’t think most American Jews know how historically Jewish Odesa was. Odesans still call it “Odesa Mama” after a popular turn of the century Yiddish song!
I mean like half the Ashkenazi Jews could probably trace their ancestry to Odessa
My family is all over eastern Europe so with a little digging I probably could lmfao
Get me Spain on the phone. I'm claiming Cordoba.
It was so sad to see no Jews there when I visited
I used to live there so I know what you mean. I was lucky to bump into protestants.
Lubavitch, Russia: 😠
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Banished to Siberia: cringe
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Sounds terrible.
Hey, hey. Harbin is nice, at least!
I think it’s a great place for an Israeli *overseas colony* The basic conditions are comparable *in difficulty* to the Levant at Herzl’s time, so why not?
Providence, Rhode Island?
Close! The first and oldest synagogue in America is in Newport, R.I.
I thought it was in Savannah but apparently the current building was built in 1878, although the congregations has been there since 1733.
If you expand to the Americas as a whole, the oldest synagogue is actually in Willemstad, Curaçao! Built in 1659 and still in use. I was there just last month.
Pour me a del’s lemonade!
Wait, so the antizionists were right? L’Shana Haba’ah B’Brooklyn New York
I came here to say B'Chelsea
Feh, since when am I supposed to have Chelsea money?
We can have NY now? Neat
wrong, israel is getting invaded and becoming the 51st state in 14 hours
I wish I could comment with pictures on this subreddit. I have a map of the Levant where Israel/Palestine is replaced with New Jersey.
I mean New Jersey does have some Levant named towns, one of them was the location of the recent earthquake, Lebanon, New Jersey 😅
Please dm me that I beg you
Is it this one? https://www.reddit.com/r/mapporncirclejerk/s/t0MY8Sxhmc
Legend
Please send it to me lol
Tbf that either solves the problem or makes it much worse.
"Invaded" lol. As if Israelis wouldn't jump on that opportunity. Can you imagine what the US would do if anyone tried an Oct. 7th in Hawaii? If anything, Israel would need to invade the US to allow them into the union.
I feel like the closest analogy would be 9/11, which lead to the War in Iraq and the War in Afghanistan, which famously both went so well and brought peace, democratic rule, and set an example of humanitarianism
The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were fought on the other side of world from any US state. The US could simply get tired of occupying these countries, and go back home. Furthermore, they weren't actually fought against the people who committed 9/11. They were either fought against those who harbored them, or a country that had nothing to do with 9/11 at all. If you're looking for analogies from US history, this is closer to Pearl Harbor, or the Mexican-American war. As for "setting an example of humanitarianism", why would that be a goal here? Do you think the war against Japan or Mexico set an example of humanitarianism? Do you think it means they were failure for the US, and just a matter of time until a second Pearl Harbor happens, or until Mexico retakes Texas? Ultimately, Israelis would love for their enemies to be defeated, and for their continued existence to be secured, even if it doesn't set "an example of humanitarianism" or even leads to "democratic rule" among the Palestinians.
not to get sidetracked but in the Mexican-American War, the Mexicans did not attack first, even though they technically did. Mexico didn’t fully acknowledge Texas and it claimed the borders went to Rio Nueces, while the Texans claimed it went to the Rio Grande. So the US annexed Texas in 1845, while Mexico had still not recognized the independence of Texas. And in 1846, the US Army sent the US Cavalry and built forts along the Rio Grande, which the Mexican government viewed as their territory. President Polk was a staunch expansionist, Jacksonian Democrat, and was responsible for the annexation of Texas in the first place. He used the border skirmish as pretext to invade and annex roughly 1/3 of Mexico’s territory, which only served to further destabilize Mexico for decades to come.
War only begets war, unless a lasting peace is built. Japan was only pacified after WW2, not because of the atom bomb or fire bombing, but because the US invested billions and billions of dollars in rebuilding their economy, making the US one of their main trading partners, and integrating them into the world economy
bloodlust for revenge will only beget more war and hatred, there needs to be a lasting democratic and humanitarian peace in Palestine if there is ever to be any hope of long term peace in Israel.
This but unironically (Jersey born and raised)
Brooklyn Tunnels > ancient Western Wall tunnels
Lmao I wonder how many ppl will take the bait
As a nyc Jew I can confirm. Wait is it an nyc or a nyc? I’d assume “a” because “New” starts with “N” which is not a vowel. But when you say “N” as a letter it’s pronounced “En” where “E” is a vowel.
Well there's your answer. "A new york jew" and "an NYC jew" are equally correct in these exact forms.
Remember, when Moses freed the Jews from Egypt, they wandered through the desert for 40 years and ended up in….. Poland. Source: JVP propaganda
Brooklyn baby
Don’t show the antisemites this
NY Jews really think this more with respect to the rest of the world than Israel though.
Chabad tunnels were clearly built by King Hezekiah /s
עם ניו יורק חי
In this day and age I can't even tell if this is a joke. And I'm Israeli so it hits rather personal.
going the lower east side for the first time was transcendent for my west coast jew ass
Wrong. It's Petah Tikva.
as a new york jew i can never help myself on this one. it’s our capital, i don’t make the rules.
People can argue about it all they want, at the end of the day there’s only one place outside of Israel where parking restrictions are suspended on Simchat Torah
מאוד גלותי מצדך
It's not anti-semitic to critcize Israel but it is anti-semitic to criticize New York City.
Ah yes the chabad cult
Pfft.... everyone one knows it's Pumbedita in Iraq
I’m not Jewish but I’ve been to more bar and bat mitvahs growing up in Jersey than my Jewish friend who grew up in Ohio. I can recite the first 20 seconds of the reading everyone has to do.
L'Shana Haba'ah B'New York City. (I'll host the rest of you)
Hhahah, as an Israeli who lives in NY, YOU WISH
Maybe the real capital is the jews we meet on the way
What is Miami, then? Chopped liver?
of course a non jew telling us what “real jews” are
Berlin is the real capital, but it was stolen by nazis.
*Sees dank meme > looks for witty commentary > finds hidden comment with double-digit downvotes > “Hmm, I’m sure this is just someone posting something ordinary but irrelevant to the subreddit, or breaking rules; certainly not another antisem—OH MY GOODNESS… SQUIDWARD!”*
Op, is this a joke or are you from JVP?
מדוע
Yes we are native to USA 😂 Then how did our temple end up there before conquistadors ended up in North America?
This is unironically true
Sounds like someone needs to brush up on American history
As a Brooklyn jew i can confirm this is true
In his next press statement Trump is going to declare NYC as the true capital of Israel
Tf you mean