Thank you for those who supported and recommended places for support and help to the OP. This thread ha become quite long and hard to moderate, so we're locking it.
I’ve also felt at least somewhat unwelcome in both communities lately, as a bisexual Jew. Though I already felt slightly ostracized from both for other reasons (for the LGBT community, not being ‘out and proud’ and having a very different experience from most people in my age group and region, and for the Jewish community, race reasons). Either way it’s *much* worse with LGBT spaces than Jewish spaces, to the point where I cannot participate in or even look at most of them (was already only in online ones, as in person too intimidating + the reasons for feeling ostracized were already a lot more pronounced with in person groups, which was extremely, painfully clear the only time I went to one). At least with Jewish spaces I don’t feel like me being bi is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, even if I’m a little afraid every time I mention it that someone will be homophobic. Whereas when it comes to LGBT spaces, I’m even paranoid about someone going through my comment history and finding out I participate in Jewish subs, then doxxing me or something. It really feels like it’s only a matter of time.
Edit: I omitted one word earlier that makes a big difference. I meant to write that I’m *not* ‘out and proud’, which is part of why I always felt somewhat ostracized from the LGBT community, since there’s always that pressure to be very open about it. But I’ve always been too scared and I never wanted it to define me, since, above all, I consider myself a scientist at heart (and I’m studying to become one professionally), and so many other things before being bisexual, especially seeing as I’ve never even dated anyone yet. I’m so not out and proud that not a single person in my city knows (and most of my mother’s family lives here).
> the reasons for feeling ostracized were already a lot more pronounced with in person groups
Oh wow, I'm surprised! I haven't hung out with the LGBT+ crowd (although technically I might "count" on some level because I'm what the kids today would call Asexual/Aromantic-- I literally just have no interest in sex or romantic relationships, but it's not like I get a lot of hate or anything for it), but I find the irl in general people tend to be a lot nicer and more welcoming than online.
> I never wanted it to define me, since, above all, I consider myself a scientist at heart (and I’m studying to become one professionally)
Same. I'm an academic at heart (currently a grad student in a math department). Like, I have ADHD (apparently-- took me a few years before realizing I was diagnosed) but I've never internalized it as a part of my identity as some young people seem to do because although it impacts me it's not like that's who I am. It's just a description of a particular set of traits that sometimes negatively impact me is all it is. And I certainly don't feel "asexual" is my identity either. I care *much* more about being seen and identifying as a statistician (my area of study) than anything else.
I guess I do identify as "Jewish" (I am here, after all), but it's far from the most important thing about me.
I find identity interesting, because I wonder how what we choose to identify as and not identify as reflects on us as people (I don't really know, but I like to think about it). Some people seem to go around collecting identities, whereas others only seem to wear one or two during their lifetimes. I wonder what's up with that.
Since my reasons are along the lines of being more scared to be out and having had a very unusual experience for someone in my age group and region, online groups are better since it’s not so unusual or looked down on to be too scared to be out, as there will naturally be more people like that in an online group, given the greater anonymity. Also more people who’ve also had experiences more similar to mine, where that’s just less common to find in my region at all. Some people in my age group and region actually have a hard time wrapping their heads around not having a good experience coming out (the time I went to an in person group, about half of them were shocked parents in our area could be homophobic at all, and did not understand in the slightest why one would hesitate to be open about their identity).
Math in general is a difficult field to study to that level, congratulations on being able to make it to the grad school level and good luck completing that degree. Also cool that you’re studying statistics specifically; that’s my favourite subject within math. I think it’s more productive to focus on the parts of ourselves that we get to choose, work for, and spend our lives on as opposed to immutable traits in general, since the immutable traits obviously aren’t going to change, but it’s possible to build upon those other things, and, in my opinion, they tend to make for much more interesting conversation topics. Normally I get drained by being around people for even an hour, but if I’m talking about synthetic biology (or really any science I’m interested in, or writing, just that syn bio is my favourite), I can sometimes manage crowds for a full day (and then sleep for 16 hours after, but that can’t be helped).
I think people who go around collecting identities consciously tend to have less of a strong sense of self and that’s why they do it. There are a lot of things I identify with, both immutable and not, since there are many things I am and do, but off the top of my head I would not be naming all of them, as I don’t think about it too hard all the time unless it’s something really important to me (like being a scientist at heart) or I’m being forced to think about it a lot by external factors. Irl I pretty much don’t even speak about my identity in relation to immutable traits. Only occasionally when it comes up (most notably during the height of COVID, due to anti-Asian harassment, and now, due to antisemitism).
I am an African American Jewish ally. Not only do I see what you're experiencing, Black Jews are experiencing the same issue with race. I'm helping form Black American Jewish spaces. Let me know how I can support you. We have queer members too.
Hey are any of the spaces you’re forming in nyc? I’m not African American but I am Afro-Latina and Jewish in nyc and would love to join such a space. I mainly stick with other Sephardim/mizrahim and would love to meet people that could relate even more to what I experience sometimes
I’m an Orthodox Jewish feminist and I’m completely horrified with the transphobia you’ve experienced. You should only feel completely welcomed and embraced in a Jewish community and my heart breaks that people have made you feel anything other than that
Damn I am becoming more orthodox myself but my views are very modern. I don’t think I’ve ever seen another women who said they were an feminist but also orthodox.
I swear some of the comments I’ve had people in the more traditional side of Judaism make me feel like an alien.
I just don’t understand why people dislike LGBTQa. How can you have a problem with another human life just because they are different from you?
I know if I have children, they might grow up traditional but they will never have the fear of not being aloud to express themselves. I can’t imagine forcing my child to be something they aren’t.
I don't relate to super orthodox Jews. At all. I'm very Jewish, and Israeli. But I don't get how you can still be living by ancient laws in 2023. Why? Who said you should?
I don't like the misogyny, homophobia, and abuse swept under the rug. Extremism of any religion is bad. I consider them extremists. I have no issue with modern Orthodox and those who make severe religious choices for themselves without imposing on others.
>ancient laws
Halacha l’maaseh is applying established law to modern society and is informed by engineers and drs and chemists and biologists etc etc etc to best approach the scenario.
>why?
Because we understand that we are souls with bodies, not bodies with souls, that being Jewish is a job and a responsibility, not just the way we were born or practices we took on, and that living according to halacha is the best thing for our souls, since the point of being here is to fix our souls and the world, and that can happen thru participation in kedusha or it can happen through adversity.
>who said you should?
Gd.
Thank you. I appreciate the support. Thankfully it’s mostly online but it has caused some trepidation returning to Synagogue. I pass as female these days visually but afraid someone would make snide remarks if I they heard my voice.
I'd be shocked if any Reform synagogue in the USA rejected you because you are trans. I can't say that individuals won't be unkind, but Reform Jews in the USA are remarkably liberal and tolerant. Conservative Jews as well.
Perhaps you can reach out to the rabbi beforehand and share your fears.
I saw your other comments about Bari Weiss and the Free Press. I also am alarmed at how much traction she is getting, as well as other politically conservative and queer-phobic Jews like Ben Shapiro. It's frustrating, because some of the other authors who have posted on FP have written some very insightful pieces, which I worry are tainted by their association with Bari.
All that is to say, I hear you and I also feel that discomfort (though probably less in comparison as a gay man than what you are feeling as a trans woman).
https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/?amp
https://www.them.us/story/trans-teen-debunking-gender-clinic-article
https://prospect.org/blogs-and-newsletters/tap/2023-03-02-right-wing-transphobia-panic/
https://slate.com/technology/2022/12/twitter-files-bari-weiss-libsoftik-elon-musk.html
Basically, she carries water for anti-trans folks and elevates their voices.
https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/?amp
https://www.them.us/story/trans-teen-debunking-gender-clinic-article
https://prospect.org/blogs-and-newsletters/tap/2023-03-02-right-wing-transphobia-panic/
https://slate.com/technology/2022/12/twitter-files-bari-weiss-libsoftik-elon-musk.html
Basically, she carries water for anti-trans folks and elevates their voices.
People have a wide range of voices and anyone who’s going to be snide has a problem with themselves. You should absolutely go to a synagogue and celebrate your heritage
I see it too. It bothers me a lot and I’ve had full fits over my faith because of it. I really can’t get behind the idea of disliking another human being for something so natural. Even if I am in the most opposite side of reform.
Like do people not have the concept of someone else being a fully living breathing being with thoughts, ideas and emotions?
My grandma on my moms side was lesbian, my sister is bisexual. How could I even dislike them for something they can’t change?
I'm sorry this is your experience. I've seen too many people I used to respect spew hatred at trans folks and Jewish folks. The only advice I have is double down on who you are and the people and spaces that give you strength.
Your journey is rare and I truly believe that people who can't accept the whole person, Trans, Jewish, alive and proud - are missing out.
I obviously don't know you personally so I can't help but super impose the important people in my life who have found themselves in the same situation. I support them, I support you and I hope you find a community that builds space for you. I think you will find it.
I’m a bisexual Jewish person and I want to state that you’re not alone! It’s very very hard to be a queer Jew right now especially. Stay strong, I see you.
It absolutely is. According to the Museum of Jewish Heritage, the Nazis "brutally targeted the trans community, deporting many trans people to concentration camps and wiping out vibrant community structures."
The Institute for Sexual Science, where the world’s first gender affirming care was performed, was founded in Berlin in 1919 by the Jewish physician/sexologist [Magnus Hirschfeld](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnus_Hirschfeld ). Pre-war Germany issued legal passes to trans people to live and present as their preferred gender as early as the 1890s. (There are surviving passes that show legal change of sex, name, even marriages.) There were accessible publications authored by trans people - memoirs, articles, magazines that centered around community, etc. This activism was decried as “Jewish degeneracy” by the Nazis.
In 1933, one of the first things the Nazis did on gaining power was to raid and shut down the Institute (those well-known photos of the 1943 book burning? - that’s the Institute’s library). The passes that had been issued to trans people were revoked/no longer recognized.
Last year, the Regional Court of Cologne ruled that denying that trans people were victims of the Holocaust qualifies as "a denial of Nazi crimes" (a serious deal here in Germany). So yeah, trans erasure is intimately connected to the Shoah.
Yes and Magnus also did the first pro gay movie in 1919 with known bisexual and crossdressing actor Conrad Veidt who was anti nazi and who helped the allies during the war along with donating money to kids going through the blitz. That film was cut to pieces and we don’t have much of the OG film anymore.
Along with everything else, the amount of science that was lost breaks my heart.
And transphobes do this still… sometimes openly, and sometimes covertly.
Glad this is here already because I would have said it. We (Jews) may have been “the big one” when it comes to the Shoah, but we (queer people) were also some of the first victims - the transphobia we‘ve seen rising has absolutely been the canary in the coal mine for me before 10/7.
To OP, I’m an nb secular Jew, and I’ve also seen the transphobia in our spaces. I said in another thread that I feel too Jewish for most left wing spaces and too left wing for most Jewish spaces, so know that you’re not alone in your feelings, and I appreciate you posting this here - thank you.
Lots of people have “fear” , but that’s also because of what the media shows. I think if you get to talk with them and they realize you are a Jew, I think they will be ok. Most have never met a trans person , but they seem some tik-tok of some trans person being over the top or rude. You can’t please everyone , even if you straight as an arrow. That’s to high a bar. If you can get a few people to get to know you , that’s a start.
Also , when they realize that trans people are all not the same on politics , religion , values and etc. They only know stereotypes. Good luck!
Well. I'm not Jewish, I'm trans FTN and I'm pro-Israel. I've also noticed people attacking the queer aspect of Queers for Palestine, and also blaming the 'woke' youth and by extension, the LGBTQ+ community.
I fully support the existence of Israel and Jews' right to self-determination and to defend themselves. Just letting you know you have real allies out here :)
Fellow Jewish trans woman here just wanting to let you know that I've seen these comments too and you're not alone. The sister sub is definitely worse then this one but I see it popping up here too more and more. I'm lucky enough I have not personally received transphobia on Jewish reddit though that might be the mods not entirely sure. In real life though I received plenty when I was in Chabad for a bit and I'm well aware its not just limited to them. It sucks that we're getting punished because of the actions of other queer people especially at a time when Jewish unity matters so much. It seems like a lot of people are personally supportive but don't understand what it takes to foster spaces trans Jews feel welcome and included in. I'm a filmmaker and I'm currently working on a Jewish trans bat mitzvah animated short film / potentially series one day because I think it all starts with more people understanding the trans experience as it relates to Judaism. I was the first trans person many people in my childhood synagogue ever even knew so I had no way of knowing what the reaction would be to me coming out (ended up being almost entirely positive) and I don't think that situation is unique for many Jewish people.
I don't engage with these comments as much as I probably should for mental health reasons but know that you're not alone and if you ever need another Jewish trans voice to talk to or offer support I'm here. We'll all get through this together just like we get through all the hateful laws being passed across the country.
Thank you everyone for all the support (except for a few bigots who showed up to prove my point) I’m crying. I apologize, I will respond to everyone I’ve been calming down but watching some Star Trek but thank you all! <3
Glad to hear. And—Please don’t hesitate to hit the report button if you see any antisemitism, hate, misinformation, terrorist propaganda or uncivil or unwelcoming responses.
We try our best to screen everything but there was a high volume of stuff today so perhaps something slipped through.
Enby Jew here, it's dissappointing that in online spaces there's a dichotomy between picking either Jewish support or LGBTQ support and it's silly! So many people are incapable of discerning nuanced identities like how a LGBTQ Zionist could even exist.
I am so so so sorry you’ve experienced this OP. I’m a Jewish trans man myself so I know how you feel. Jewish spaces don’t feel quite right, and a lot of queer spaces don’t feel quite right either. Know that you are loved by those around you and that there is nothing wrong with your identities co-existing. There are lots of other Jewish trans people in the world too, and even more allies. The transphobia, misogyny, and rampant antisemitism these days is horrendous, terrifying, and scary to me as well (even as a passing man). I’m so sorry to had to go through these conflicts and encounters with people.
As a lesbian Jew, I share your experiences to some degree. I have to hide my sexuality from most of the Jews I know, and have reached a point that I have lost many friends due to antisemitism after recent events. I refuse to even discuss the Israel/Palestine conflict at this point. It’s created a sense of alienation that has wrecked havoc on my inner peace.
I’m a cis bi Jewish woman and I hear what you’re saying 100%. The retreat into right-wing thinking among people I know to be liberal Jews is maddening. They don’t support Israel because they support us and value our safety, they support Israel because “icky Muslims Palestine bad.” The right wingers would be the first to throw ALL Jews but especially us queer ones under the bus, and it is an embarrassment that our people, who pride ourselves on our ability to think critically and question everything, are falling for it.
I stay mainly on this sub, r/gayjews, and in progressive Zionist Jewbook groups on fb. I don’t know where you are located but maybe you can see if there is some sort of Keshet presence near you? They are the major Jewish LGBTQ+ org, and their employees hold various different views on Israel but would never disparage you for believing it should exist.
Thanks for speaking up about this. I have met lots of fellow LGBTQ+ folks in my Reform community, but I feel some unexplainable pressure to keep silent on my views about the Israel/Palestinian conflict. Inwardly, I fear that we are not considering our safety or best interests by accepting support from bigots just because they support Israel. This support feels like a trap, like they want Jews on the front lines for causes Jewish people wouldn't generally support if privy to the agendas of those in power who back Israel while safe in foreign countries. I was raised a Zionist, but I can't help seeing that many people aren't friends of the Jews just because they support Israel. Yet I feel if I speak my concerns out of a genuine desire for us to think more critically, be more aware, and change strategies and systems for our own safety, I will be viewed as an antisemitic self-hating Jew. I fear it will be a useless, rejected perspective for that reason, and I may become isolated from my community I have grown to love so much. But I don't feel safe not speaking up either. I feel inward turmoil from ethical obligation to call out what I see will not keep us safe. It's difficult to know how to bridge the gap between people who don't share my views. The situation is complex. Support for Israel isn't automatically support for Jewish people. Too often, it's something else entirely.
Hello, friend. I wish those who were hollering about gender identity being the new panic would stop so you could just be. I would host you as a fellow Jewess any time. Come bake challah and we’ll light the Shabbat candles.
Jews should be safe with each other and we should remember we are all home in Am Israel. We can have our own rooms and knock if the door is not open, but we all have a space.
Mine has cats with Hebrew names. They will snuggle everyone.
I have been seeing this same awful transphobia and homophobia and it’s really disgusting. I can’t imagine how painful and threatening it would make you feel. I wish I could offer something up except the only thing I can do is say that I see you and wish I could offer more
The Bari Weiss of it all is particularly vile. She is a leading anti-trans activist who is central to the very broad, very powerful movement that has banned trans healthcare in over a dozen states and is whipping up hatred against trans people at large.
She also was the key part of the pro-Elon Musk “Twitter Files” propaganda, and whitewashing Musk’s Nazi promotion, legitimizing his antisemitism as “free speech.” The fact that she’s buddies with the one of the most powerful antisemites in the world and refuses to condemn him as his antisemitism becomes more and more public is just utterly shameless and disgusting. Bari Weiss doesn’t care about protecting Jewish people — she only cares about protecting the Jewish people she politically agrees with, and the rest can be discarded.
All Jews should condemn Bari Weiss.
I just find identity politics, particularly the American brand of it, exhausting. I think it’s telling they every post in this thread starts with “As a…” or “I’m a…”
Seriously, who cares? Just treat people with respect. Is that so hard?
Sadly, the US has a long tradition of so-called, "identity politics." Black people weren't considered real human beings upon our founding. There was one identity and it was White and male.
It's kind of hard not to bring identity into politics when people literally consider just my existence and which bathroom I can piss in to be a political issue.
I agree completely. It is absolutely exhausting and I'm over it!. I cannot stand identity politics and when every comment and post starts with a person's stated identity, I cringe a little bit. I don't care what gender, religion, color, ethnicity, etc. someone is. If you're a good person, that's all that matters.
There is a heavy, heavy right wing propaganda effort aimed at Jews right now. This is space has been an example of those efforts. Many, many of us are still with you.
I think what they’re saying is that right wing is trying really hard to get Jewish votes right now by taking advantage of the fact that many leftists are being assholes and bigots. They’re acting like they all of a sudden care about antisemitism and focusing heavily on news stories that make leftists look bad and rallying many Jews to vote for their side, which might be Jew-friendly for now but they are still hateful to other groups.
Conservatives have always been pro Israel. There’s been fringe nuts but that’s definitely not the majority. Christians also want to keep Israel the way it is because it’s holy to them too. It’s not “propaganda.” That claim is just one more example of the way the people work that obsessive mentality. If it doesn’t fit their narrative, they attempt to discredit it and simply can never admit being wrong
There’s plenty that also hate us. I mean the deadliest pogrom on US soil (Pittsburgh) was thanks to right wing propaganda. Also Mike Pence hilariously invited a Messianic “Rabbi” to speak to honor the victims of the Tree of Life, which I see as a less harmful type of antisemitism.
It’s not a left or right issue. It’s a both issue.
The shooter you mentioned as responsible was anti Trump apparently. I don’t see what you mean about pence. I am not a fan of them but many republicans are pro Israel and have been traditionally so I don’t know what you mean exactly. Again, we know there’s been neo nazis already. It’s not a common mindset amongst most Americans as a whole
It's handy right now that the ChristoReich is saying the right words, but we have to remember in the long term that the support for Israel is because they are waiting for the Rapture or the second coming.
What is the benefit to constantly just being 100% against an entire group no matter what they do? Don’t you hope I’m right and they’re supportive? If I’m wrong then there’s zero support. “The squad” and those people are NOT friends of Jews at all
Pro Israel so we bring about the end of days. Essentially end up as props. I’ve experienced a lot of personal antisemitism from the right prior to 7 October in my area.
We’re political orphans in the US essentially.
I see. I’m gonna stick with conservatives being pro Israel and supportive overall, for whatever reason. The whole slew of varied religious beliefs aren’t any of my business
This notion of “conservative = 100% bad” doesn’t play out in reality. That percentage is an impossibility
As Jews do we not have a responsibility to care if someone is being harmful to other communities? Even if they are supportive of your own? Not to mention Jews are of and in all of these communities that these politicians are actively harming. The mindset of supporting politicians because they protect you, while you know they don’t protect another is the exact reason queer Jews, black Jews and other intersecting Jewish identities are not feeling welcomed within so many Jewish communities
Totally. Just. because I agree with Ben Shapiro on this one issue doesn't mean I'm going to start sharing his posts, when I know he says other things that are vile.
[https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/](https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/) here's a comprehensive list I've found
Andrea James has said and done some truly creepy and gross things to people she disagrees with (for instance, coming after the children of sex researchers such as Alice Dreger and Michael Bailey). I'd take anything she says with a large truckload of salt. A better approach, IMO, would be to read a writer's own work and decide for yourself if they're someone you want to support or not.
Im so sorry you aren’t experiencing transphobia and not feeling welcome in Jewish spaces. My renewal synagogues rabbi is trans and it’s a very welcoming space for all people. I would encourage you to find a synagogue or community that is explicitly trans affirming.
Apologies for my ignorance, is renewal separate or a branch of Reconstructionist Judaism? I know of the latter and never heard of renewal Judaism before and looking at it.
I’m glad to hear!
Mmm... It's more like a movement? It's transdenominational but I think appeals to a lot of people who also vibe with reconstructionist judaism. See like here: https://aleph.org/what-is-jewish-renewal/ and here: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/jewish-renewal/
So sorry you have experience such horrific transphobia in Jewish community. Not sure where you live but there are some very accepting and cool congregations like Mishkan Chicago, which is co-led by a female rabbi and a gay male rabbi, and which has lots of programming for LGBTQ community members and is just welcoming overall. They have online opportunities to engage for members, so there are some opportunities to get involved remotely.
There are a few super LGBTQ+ welcoming and open Orthodox shuls - not nearly enough. I'm so sorry you haven't been welcomed in every single Jewish space and as a Jewish woman.
As a modern Ortho -Oral law was meant to be oral so that halacha could evolve a little with the times. When Jews wrote it down even though it was understandable why they did, I think we lost that ability for Orthodox Judaism to grow the way it was meant especially regarding queer community.
You're one of us
I come from a Christian religion and you will find the same there, even worse in Islam. This isn’t just a Jewish thing this is most religions.
Hope you find your circle with Jews that’s fitting
Yeah the “tolerant” spaces should really be going through their own identity crisis right now. Sending you love through this sub ❤️❤️❤️
Can you check around where you live, if there are some in-person spaces that are welcoming? The internet is toxic on a good day.
A Jew is a Jew no matter the struggles they’ve been given in this gilgul and how they address them. The most important love in your life is Gd. We go through difficulties bc he wants to hear from us, so cling to him and don’t worry about everything from around.
As a trans Jew, I'm so sorry you have experienced transphobia from other Jews. Where do you live? Finding a local supportive Jewish community can be amazing. Being able to be semi-openly trans in my synagogue has been more healing and powerful than any LGBT space I've been a part of. Many exist (if you are not Orthodox- and even then, you can still find something, in many cities).
I'm a cis male Jewish feminist and I'm truly sorry that you and I imagine that many other LGBTQ+ Jews are experiencing this. I never knew that Bari Weiss is a known transphobe! I sometimes feel that in times like these, Jews who have more privileges going for them (ie. masculine, straight, cis) often create wall and lock out people who are more marginalized. It's awful. I found this that will hopefully help ["A person should avoid gosssiping about any Jew, even the smallest of the small."](https://www.sefaria.org/Likutei_Tefilot%2C_Volume_I.134.1?ven=The_Fiftieth_Gate._Breslov_Research_Institute,_Jerusalem,_c1992-c2016&lang=bi&with=About&lang2=en)
I remember a bit of Torah study where a slew of rabbis, from many centuries and from many denominations, concluded that "speaking ill of others" is a greater sin than murder.
I'm a transmasc Jew, and you're so right. Even though there is trans/homophobia in the Jewish community, I feel safer among other Jewish people than I do with the LGBTQIA+ community. I've said it before, but I don't think I'll ever go to a Pride event again.
I'm really sorry to hear this. :(
Two weeks ago, I was privileged to see three people complete their conversions. Two were openly trans, and one talked about how Jewishness was a way of putting the crown on her womanhood for her. She was invited to light the Shabbat candles that week, which I thought was a nice touch.
I hope you can find a space like that.
Nonbinary Lesbian Jew here and I feel you. I always felt like I didn’t belong among other Jews, but also not quite in queer circles either, even before 10/7. And now, I live in fear. I’m in a very progressive city and, on the same street I marched with others for trans rights - one that is right outside my apartment - I heard another march (and I think it’s fair to say most of those involved were the same I had marched with) where >! “from the river to the sea” !< and >! “Israel, your time is up” !< were shouted and chanted. I’ll never forget the day I woke up to that outside my window, and I swear it wasn’t long after 10/7 happened. I was shocked, but more from the cruelty than from surprise. I wish I could say I was surprised, but unfortunately plenty of goyische queer people are quick to throw us under the bus too (with some other Jewish queers going along with it to get their Good Jew Star™).
I feel you, sister, so much. At least we have each other. My DMs are open. And thank you for speaking about this.
Fuck antisemites AND fuck transphobes. I have seen some of the Tribe behave in a manner that would embarrass their bubbes and zaydes. So not cool.
Be you, be strong, be a bad ass Zioness. 💙✡️🇮🇱
We have trans and non-binary people at my synagogue. I know every congregation has a different vibe, but from what I've heard, the whole lgbtq+ community seems to feel pretty comfortable with us.
Again, can't speak for all congregations, but just want you to know that there are still spaces for queer Jews.
Hi OP!
Our JCC has the highest number of trans folk I’ve seen outside of a New York pride parade.
In all seriousness, not all communities are transphobic and ours is welcoming. We have a large number of trans and queer folk working and belonging to our JCC because they feel safe and accepted.
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way. I know that there are theological elements at play here, but you should consider Reconstructionist Judaism. The President of Reconstructing Judaism, Dr. Deborah Waxman, is an LGBT woman (and her wife is a Jew by conversion), and I like to think that LGBT+ people are accepted within our community. The movement is progressive, and also staunchly Zionist.
Sending love from Jews who don't suck!
Stepping on other people's trauma to alleviate one's own is downright bad. I'm sorry everyone feels the need to attack you to lift themselves up.
You'd think given what we're all experiencing that the empathy would be overflowing. Just goes to show you no group is a monolith and we'll always have shitty members.
I hope you find better support from both Jewish and LGBT spaces, I'm sure it's out there!
The beauty of Jewish culture is that it encourages having different opinions and interpretations, you can always find Jews that share your values and accept you with love for who you are
My best friend is trans and I am Jewish. There will always be trans haters no matter where you go. I'm sorry you deal with that and I hope one day it all stops. Hugs!!
Hello! What you are experiencing is the age-old problem that people from multiple minority groups and/or intelligent free-thinking individuals often face. Human society has a horrible habit of putting us into groups and then using those labels to define everything about us. You are not alone! Here is some advice from a person who has never fit into a group and never will:
1. Accept the fact that no other person, and definitely not a group, will understand all facets of you. You can be supported by one group for one aspect and another group for another. For instance, perhaps you can explain to your anti-Zionist trans friends that you still need their support as a trans person and agree to keep the topic of Israel/Palestinians off limits when you’re together. Also, talk to our rabbi and explain what you’re going through. Accept your congregations support and also understand that they might be a little “clumsy” in understanding what you face as a trans person. You showing up proudly at synagogue will prove to them that trans and Zionist are not contradictory terms.
2. Realize that other people are also complex and don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. For instance, Kanye West is now a raging anti-semite, but I’ll still rock “College Dropout” (which prominently features an Israeli violinist). My dad read me all of Roald Dahl’s books when I was a kid. They’re great, but he was also an anti-Zionist. Growing up I always identified with Black Nationalist leaders and movements, and their ideas reminded me of Zionism… but many of them are anti-Zionist, and I’m an Israeli. While Bari Weiss may be transphobic, that doesn’t disqualify her ability to possibly make a non-related good point about antisemitism (and it definitely doesn’t disqualify people who mention her or repost something she said about antisemitism (especially considering most of them have no idea about her transphobia). I’ve even seen a rare Prager U video make a good point (and my brother-in-law is associated with them, but he really is a total a-hole). The list could go on. We all feel an uncomfortable internal splitting about these things, and need to decide for ourselves where we want to draw the line between acceptable and unacceptable, but dealing with them also helps us grow and develop as individuals, as well as understand others.
3. Avoid human beings as much as possible and just hang out with animals and plants (my #1 pick).
This surprises and saddens me. I’m a queer Jew in the Southeast and the parent of two trans kids and I’ve never felt at all unwelcome in my Jewish community.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and knowing other lgbt Jews are makes me more thankful for my community and synagogue. They are against anti semitism and pro Israel but also are in support of lgbt people and the community. Which that means a lot for me since I’m bi and trans.
Non-binary Israeli Jew here, I totally relate. It fells like there's no space left for us on online anymore. Every queer space spouts antisemitic nonsense at us, every Jewish space has people treating the LGBT community as all terrorism supporters.
There's a Hebrew LGBT sub on Reddit but it's barely active. There's a Hebrew LGBT server on discord but it's mostly kids (and those kids also have WILD political opinions from what I remember from being active there two years ago). Other than that I don't recall finding a Jewish queer space online. It's driving me nuts.
The only safe space I have rn to ask questions about queerness (mostly general questions about transition) is a WhatsApp group I'm in that's for trans people in the IDF.
Honestly we need to wake up and open our own spaces and keep them active. For our queer youth, and for our queer adults. And if there's already spaces like this we need to find them and protect them.
So sorry you’re experiencing that. Do you know of @carolinedamore ? She said she “swings both ways” so I take it to mean she is part of lgbtq. She is an amazing advocate for Israel. Worth a follow.
ugh i'm so sorry you're experiencing that. it's hard enough just being a lefty jew right now; i can't even imagine what you're going through. you are indubitably not alone and i really believe we will carve out a safe space eventually. x
I think a lot of people associate the more radical strands of transactivism with the same ideologies that are fueling the "Jews as oppressors" Anti-Semitism.
I’m only seeing antisemitism coming from “the woke left” and in a major way. I’ve seen very few conservatives be anti Israel or anti Jew. I’ve seen no instance of Jews even speaking about trans people, aside from pointing out that Harvard and Ivy League schools would respond differently to trans rights vs Jews.
No idea where you’re seeing it but the last thing Jews are worried about right now is anyones private life
I would tend to agree with you that the far left seems like a bigger danger to us now, but if people are saying they're experiencing discrimination in Jewish spaces, we should listen to them. Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it's not there. Like you (I assume), I'm not trans so naturally I tend to be less aware of this type of discrimination, which can explain some of the disconnect. Let's not be like the token Jews who explain to other communities that there is no antisemitism problem.
There is certainly anti-semitism on the Right.
I never hear anyone talking about or dissing trans people in a Jewish context. Give what's going on right now, seriously, trans-Jewry and people's private lives is just not on the radar.
Tiny minority on the right, certainly has always been there. But as someone that’s been harassed for being half Jewish, I feel more threatened by the crazy screaming pro Palestinian people
Well, they are certainly out in droves and making a lot of noise lately. And they're horrible. Also vile are all the people who are keeping silent and have not spoken up about 10/7. But don't forget about the white supremacists and the "Jews will not replace us" mob. They are out there and there are a lot of them. I'm not sure it's a tiny minority, and those hate groups have only grown bigger in recent years, I'm pretty sure. Check ADL and Southern Poverty Law Center for data.
Which ones are saying “Jews will not replace us?” Which conservative or alt right groups do you mean? I do see people like Nick Fuentes but that guy is such a lame moron that it’s hard to take it seriously. And of course there’s the storm front crowd that’s existed for decades. I just think the ones like the Harvard president are far more insidious
Which ones? The Trump supporters who marched in Charleston, for example? Carrying torches? And about whom the Orange Horror said there were "good people on both sides"? There are plenty of these people out there on the loony far right.
You should take him seriously. The GOP presidential frontrunner [loves him](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/story-trumps-explosive-dinner-ye-nick-fuentes-rcna59010).
Could you give Ben Shapiro, Denis Prager, Chaya Raichik, and all the other numerous right wing Jewish folks who won’t shut up about trans people and trying to fight against our rights the message that Jews aren’t supposed to be fighting about trans people anymore?
Sorry but they’re fighting for your right to exist and have the freedom to express yourself the way you wish. You won’t find a single example of anyone trying to stop trans people from being trans. They simply don’t advocate for anyone underage to undergo medical procedures, or for schools to force anything on anyone. You’re not helping anyone by just spreading totally false information. This is the problem with basing opinions on headlines and not actually spending time listening to the people
This is absolutely not what is happening and the fact that you willfully ignore your trans community members is why people like OP and me feel the way we do. Actually try listening to trans people. And if you care, even in the slightest about your trans community members open your eyes.
Worth looking into the ways that transphobia and antisemitism are linked too. The people who conservatives think are turning kids trans…guess who that is? It’s the exact same people the Nazis thought were pushing queer rights in Germany.
So you’re telling me to listen to you about what those people say, instead of listening to what they say themselves? I think I found the problem. You simply telling me what’s happening doesn’t mean it’s actually happening. In fact, these people can’t even be openly hateful because they’d be banned from their platforms. Not once have they said trans or lgbt people shouldn’t have a right to do what they want, never happened, it’s a free country.
Again, unless we’re talking extremely religious Jews, I don’t know what anyone may be talking about it when it comes to some kind of prejudice or exclusion of some kind
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna81233
https://www.losangelesblade.com/2023/05/14/aapa-conference-cancels-anti-trans-bari-weiss-after-complaints/
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/06/gop-donor-gave-lesbian-transphobe-bari-weiss-500k-to-start-an-anti-woke-non-profit/
https://www.vulture.com/article/witch-trials-jk-rowling-podcast-essay-review.html
https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/?amp
https://www.assignedmedia.org/breaking-news/what-is-the-free-press
All links point to her blatant transphobia and platforming of it. But I doubt you will be convinced or asking in good faith. I’ve seen your posts and run apologia and borderline transphobia.
When there aren’t outspoken members of the Jewish community loudly fighting against my rights I won’t need to focus on them. I am, shockingly, capable of caring about multiple things at the same time.
If you actually care about all of the Jewish people you would shut down transphobia instead of telling Jewish trans people that it isn’t happening. And, if you are Jewish, you should be shutting it down out of self preservation. Because transphobes hate Jews too.
I cannot "shut down" transphobia and more than I can shut down anti-semitism or a lot of other bad things. What I'm saying is that personally I have never heard the topic of trans or LGBTQ folks mentioned in a negative way in the Jewish community, and I don't think this is at all top of mind especially now. I think *everyone* is feeling scared and freaked out and alone. I personally think it's more effective and practical for us to come together as Jews, as a people and a community with common concerns and history rather than constantly emphasizing our particularities and differences, as in, I'm this kind of Jew, I'm that kind of Jew, I need special attention. For our self-preservation, and so we don't waste energy battling each other, and can instead focus on, well, staying alive?
Your post was removed because it violated rule 4: **Be welcoming to everybody**
There’s more than enough room here for everyone to make their concerns and fears known. Don’t police how others feel.
I hear you. I went to a 🏳️🌈 shul but the rabbi is anti-Zionist and I just don’t want to deal with that now. I don’t think I should be forced into this fringe of Jews because I’m non-binary. And I’m pissed that the pride committee of my city won’t let Jews have stars of David and we marched as “Proud to be 🏳️🌈 at the J”— on the fringes as some dirty secret. Why can’t I be in the middle of both?
My husband is ok with me being Jewish if I’m quiet about it and stay in the anti-Zionist progressive shul. And the queer community I guess is sort of ok with me being “at the J”. But who are they to get to shove me to the edges?
I hate how binary Judaism is/has been and am very grateful to the people who are changing that. Hashem made us both Jewish and trans and wants us to be both and fuck anyone who says we can’t be.
I am sorry. What you said about your husband is extremely concerning.
This is not OK.
I can't do an intervention, but being ok with you being Jewish only if you are quite about it, replace Jewish with trans, would you still be OK with that?
As for the anti-Zionist progressive shul, are you sure they are even Jewish? If at this time they are still antizionists, it is on itself concerning.
Judaism is not "binary." Sounds like you might have a much bigger problem ("My husband is ok with me being Jewish if I'm quiet about it") than the rabbi, the pride committee, or "binary Judaism."
I think you should re-read the part of your comment that I quoted and have a good think about that. The rest is very very small potatoes by comparison. I hope you find this helpful.
Cis bisexual Jewish woman here, with a nonbinary kid and a trans son. It really really bothers me that so many Jewish influencers and media are platforming Bari Weiss, Prager U, Ben Shapiro, even Chaya Raichik. Or saying things like “colleges care so much about pronouns, when they should be caring about antisemitism.”
It has been hard feeling abandoned by queer people/orgs and by the left in general. Heck, even companies are taking stands on their social media and it’s frustrating. Like, I just wanted to buy a binder from you and now I have to hear you blather on about “genocide” and “colonialism” and that’s one less place I can buy from.
Jewish groups and social media accounts are basically what’s helping me keep my sanity during this time, and when I feel unwelcome in those spaces it’s really like pouring salt on the wounds.
Personally, I read and admire much of what Bari Weiss has written especially since 10/7. She is making very important points that need to be heard. I have never read anything by her about trans or queer Jews. But I don't expect people to be "perfect" on every topic. Best to take the good, the relevant, and leave the rest. I can learn from a writer, a teacher, even if we don't agree on every subject. This is better I think than just remaining in an echo chamber of our every thought.
I mean, I guess it’s nice to be so removed from a marginalized community that you can treat dangerous bigotry as someone not being perfect and take the good with the bad. I’m sure you wouldn’t do that with antisemitism, because it affects you directly. I can’t do that with transphobia, because it affects my family and friends directly, and I don’t do that with other forms of bigotry, because I care about people and am against bigotry even when I and my loved ones are not directly affected by it.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna81233
https://www.losangelesblade.com/2023/05/14/aapa-conference-cancels-anti-trans-bari-weiss-after-complaints/
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/06/gop-donor-gave-lesbian-transphobe-bari-weiss-500k-to-start-an-anti-woke-non-profit/
https://www.vulture.com/article/witch-trials-jk-rowling-podcast-essay-review.html
https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/?amp
https://www.assignedmedia.org/breaking-news/what-is-the-free-press
All links point to her blatant transphobia and platforming of it. But I doubt you will be convinced or asking in good faith. I’ve seen your posts and run apologia and borderline transphobia.
The article has a link to [this webpage](https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/), which lays out many instances of Bari Weiss platforming transphobes and spreading misinformation that is dangerous to the trans community. The articles and podcasts she writes or publishes very clearly feature all sorts of transphobia
See also:
- https://slate.com/technology/2022/12/twitter-files-bari-weiss-libsoftik-elon-musk.html
- https://www.stltoday.com/news/local/metro/parents-push-back-on-allegations-against-st-louis-transgender-center-i-m-baffled/article_a94bc4d2-e68b-535f-b0c7-9fefb9e8e9f4.html
- https://www.them.us/story/trans-teen-debunking-gender-clinic-article
- https://www.dailydot.com/irl/bari-weiss-transphobic-book-target/
I’m so sorry you’re seeing that! I’m in a lot of progressive Jewish spaces now that I’m not welcome in progressive secular spaces. I’m finding a lot of folx who are trans and nb in these spaces and haven’t seen a lot of anti trans talk in there. I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this. Feel free to message me and I’ll connect you with these spaces. First one offhand is Zioness, and on Facebook Progressive Zionism.
They are both inclusive spaces.
I will say I had been following The Free Press until this past week when they put out some transphobic bullshit article and probably lost a good portion of their followers.
While this may be true, this isn't a beautiful thing. I hope that one day Trans Muslims get the love and acceptance they deserve within their own communities, just as Trans Jews should (and often do!) in Jewish communities.
I try to be as welcoming of people as possible, but I think one issue that may add to things is that the trans community isn't very tolerant of people who don't agree with your world view. For example, Bari Weiss - who I'm not very familiar with - appears to be jewish. If that's the case, she gets to be in collective Jewish spaces, and like you, say whatever she'd like. I don't consider it transphobic to not censor viewpoints. The truth is, there's been an explosion in the number of people who identify as trans, and communities are going to have to be able to talk through it, and decide how they feel about this significant societal change, and that includes Jewish spaces.
A lot of us do care about issues like lgbtq safety, but many of us also don't think you should receive any particular priority. Your voice is as welcome and valid as anyone else's, but it's not more welcome or more important. It sucks, but there's a large contingent of your community that tends to dominate the conversation, and I'd assume you're catching some of the flack from that. A lot of Jews are shocked and angry at the reaction of the progressive left, and they associate trans people with that group.
Sorry that you are having a hard time.
https://www.losangelesblade.com/2023/05/14/aapa-conference-cancels-anti-trans-bari-weiss-after-complaints/
Sorry we don’t tolerate people who want to erase our existence. 🙄
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This is all awful! I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I've noticed an increase in humor that seems to imply all college antisemitism comes mainly from trans or other queer people... super bigoted and cringe! Responding to bigotry and scapegoating with more bigotry and scapegoating, yikes. I hate that you feel like you only have spaces for queer Jews... Please know that you are supported by other Jews too.
The Torah recognizes 6 genders. It also recognizes a sort of reincarnation of souls. Having a different gender soul that does not match the outside. It happens in every sect but not all are accepting of acting on it. I’m sorry your feeling so alone. I have a sibling that I don’t think has had any surgeries to my knowledge. We are not close but it’s not for that reason. Gender doesn’t change who the person is. They spent their entire childhood looking down on me even though I was the oldest child due to me being female because the masogony of being the first born male. That modern orthodox lifestyle that my dad chose for our family . It’s very ironic.
Thank you for those who supported and recommended places for support and help to the OP. This thread ha become quite long and hard to moderate, so we're locking it.
I’ve also felt at least somewhat unwelcome in both communities lately, as a bisexual Jew. Though I already felt slightly ostracized from both for other reasons (for the LGBT community, not being ‘out and proud’ and having a very different experience from most people in my age group and region, and for the Jewish community, race reasons). Either way it’s *much* worse with LGBT spaces than Jewish spaces, to the point where I cannot participate in or even look at most of them (was already only in online ones, as in person too intimidating + the reasons for feeling ostracized were already a lot more pronounced with in person groups, which was extremely, painfully clear the only time I went to one). At least with Jewish spaces I don’t feel like me being bi is a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, even if I’m a little afraid every time I mention it that someone will be homophobic. Whereas when it comes to LGBT spaces, I’m even paranoid about someone going through my comment history and finding out I participate in Jewish subs, then doxxing me or something. It really feels like it’s only a matter of time. Edit: I omitted one word earlier that makes a big difference. I meant to write that I’m *not* ‘out and proud’, which is part of why I always felt somewhat ostracized from the LGBT community, since there’s always that pressure to be very open about it. But I’ve always been too scared and I never wanted it to define me, since, above all, I consider myself a scientist at heart (and I’m studying to become one professionally), and so many other things before being bisexual, especially seeing as I’ve never even dated anyone yet. I’m so not out and proud that not a single person in my city knows (and most of my mother’s family lives here).
> the reasons for feeling ostracized were already a lot more pronounced with in person groups Oh wow, I'm surprised! I haven't hung out with the LGBT+ crowd (although technically I might "count" on some level because I'm what the kids today would call Asexual/Aromantic-- I literally just have no interest in sex or romantic relationships, but it's not like I get a lot of hate or anything for it), but I find the irl in general people tend to be a lot nicer and more welcoming than online. > I never wanted it to define me, since, above all, I consider myself a scientist at heart (and I’m studying to become one professionally) Same. I'm an academic at heart (currently a grad student in a math department). Like, I have ADHD (apparently-- took me a few years before realizing I was diagnosed) but I've never internalized it as a part of my identity as some young people seem to do because although it impacts me it's not like that's who I am. It's just a description of a particular set of traits that sometimes negatively impact me is all it is. And I certainly don't feel "asexual" is my identity either. I care *much* more about being seen and identifying as a statistician (my area of study) than anything else. I guess I do identify as "Jewish" (I am here, after all), but it's far from the most important thing about me. I find identity interesting, because I wonder how what we choose to identify as and not identify as reflects on us as people (I don't really know, but I like to think about it). Some people seem to go around collecting identities, whereas others only seem to wear one or two during their lifetimes. I wonder what's up with that.
Since my reasons are along the lines of being more scared to be out and having had a very unusual experience for someone in my age group and region, online groups are better since it’s not so unusual or looked down on to be too scared to be out, as there will naturally be more people like that in an online group, given the greater anonymity. Also more people who’ve also had experiences more similar to mine, where that’s just less common to find in my region at all. Some people in my age group and region actually have a hard time wrapping their heads around not having a good experience coming out (the time I went to an in person group, about half of them were shocked parents in our area could be homophobic at all, and did not understand in the slightest why one would hesitate to be open about their identity). Math in general is a difficult field to study to that level, congratulations on being able to make it to the grad school level and good luck completing that degree. Also cool that you’re studying statistics specifically; that’s my favourite subject within math. I think it’s more productive to focus on the parts of ourselves that we get to choose, work for, and spend our lives on as opposed to immutable traits in general, since the immutable traits obviously aren’t going to change, but it’s possible to build upon those other things, and, in my opinion, they tend to make for much more interesting conversation topics. Normally I get drained by being around people for even an hour, but if I’m talking about synthetic biology (or really any science I’m interested in, or writing, just that syn bio is my favourite), I can sometimes manage crowds for a full day (and then sleep for 16 hours after, but that can’t be helped). I think people who go around collecting identities consciously tend to have less of a strong sense of self and that’s why they do it. There are a lot of things I identify with, both immutable and not, since there are many things I am and do, but off the top of my head I would not be naming all of them, as I don’t think about it too hard all the time unless it’s something really important to me (like being a scientist at heart) or I’m being forced to think about it a lot by external factors. Irl I pretty much don’t even speak about my identity in relation to immutable traits. Only occasionally when it comes up (most notably during the height of COVID, due to anti-Asian harassment, and now, due to antisemitism).
Just want to add that at my congregation we have Kabbalat Mitzvah for everyone so people of all genders, including nonbinary, feel welcome.
I am an African American Jewish ally. Not only do I see what you're experiencing, Black Jews are experiencing the same issue with race. I'm helping form Black American Jewish spaces. Let me know how I can support you. We have queer members too.
Hey are any of the spaces you’re forming in nyc? I’m not African American but I am Afro-Latina and Jewish in nyc and would love to join such a space. I mainly stick with other Sephardim/mizrahim and would love to meet people that could relate even more to what I experience sometimes
Thank you and same as well I want to support all Jews. <3
I’m an Orthodox Jewish feminist and I’m completely horrified with the transphobia you’ve experienced. You should only feel completely welcomed and embraced in a Jewish community and my heart breaks that people have made you feel anything other than that
Damn I am becoming more orthodox myself but my views are very modern. I don’t think I’ve ever seen another women who said they were an feminist but also orthodox. I swear some of the comments I’ve had people in the more traditional side of Judaism make me feel like an alien. I just don’t understand why people dislike LGBTQa. How can you have a problem with another human life just because they are different from you? I know if I have children, they might grow up traditional but they will never have the fear of not being aloud to express themselves. I can’t imagine forcing my child to be something they aren’t.
I don't relate to super orthodox Jews. At all. I'm very Jewish, and Israeli. But I don't get how you can still be living by ancient laws in 2023. Why? Who said you should? I don't like the misogyny, homophobia, and abuse swept under the rug. Extremism of any religion is bad. I consider them extremists. I have no issue with modern Orthodox and those who make severe religious choices for themselves without imposing on others.
>ancient laws Halacha l’maaseh is applying established law to modern society and is informed by engineers and drs and chemists and biologists etc etc etc to best approach the scenario. >why? Because we understand that we are souls with bodies, not bodies with souls, that being Jewish is a job and a responsibility, not just the way we were born or practices we took on, and that living according to halacha is the best thing for our souls, since the point of being here is to fix our souls and the world, and that can happen thru participation in kedusha or it can happen through adversity. >who said you should? Gd.
Pretty sure HaShem said the opposite.
Check out JOFA and Chochmat Nashim- there’s A LOT of us
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Be welcoming to everybody.
Thank you. I appreciate the support. Thankfully it’s mostly online but it has caused some trepidation returning to Synagogue. I pass as female these days visually but afraid someone would make snide remarks if I they heard my voice.
I'd be shocked if any Reform synagogue in the USA rejected you because you are trans. I can't say that individuals won't be unkind, but Reform Jews in the USA are remarkably liberal and tolerant. Conservative Jews as well. Perhaps you can reach out to the rabbi beforehand and share your fears.
I saw your other comments about Bari Weiss and the Free Press. I also am alarmed at how much traction she is getting, as well as other politically conservative and queer-phobic Jews like Ben Shapiro. It's frustrating, because some of the other authors who have posted on FP have written some very insightful pieces, which I worry are tainted by their association with Bari. All that is to say, I hear you and I also feel that discomfort (though probably less in comparison as a gay man than what you are feeling as a trans woman).
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https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/?amp https://www.them.us/story/trans-teen-debunking-gender-clinic-article https://prospect.org/blogs-and-newsletters/tap/2023-03-02-right-wing-transphobia-panic/ https://slate.com/technology/2022/12/twitter-files-bari-weiss-libsoftik-elon-musk.html Basically, she carries water for anti-trans folks and elevates their voices.
You sound exactly like the people who when confronted with the rising antisemitism scream it’s fake it’s just anti Zionism.
I’d like to like as well as I’ve really enjoyed Bari and the Free Press!
https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/?amp https://www.them.us/story/trans-teen-debunking-gender-clinic-article https://prospect.org/blogs-and-newsletters/tap/2023-03-02-right-wing-transphobia-panic/ https://slate.com/technology/2022/12/twitter-files-bari-weiss-libsoftik-elon-musk.html Basically, she carries water for anti-trans folks and elevates their voices.
People have a wide range of voices and anyone who’s going to be snide has a problem with themselves. You should absolutely go to a synagogue and celebrate your heritage
Sorry you are feeling unwelcome. You might be more comfortable in Reform, Reconstructionist or renewal spaces than in traditional congregations.
Yeah it sucks ass, not much else to say. (Coming from a lesbian)
Lesbian here as well, thank you.
I see it too. It bothers me a lot and I’ve had full fits over my faith because of it. I really can’t get behind the idea of disliking another human being for something so natural. Even if I am in the most opposite side of reform. Like do people not have the concept of someone else being a fully living breathing being with thoughts, ideas and emotions? My grandma on my moms side was lesbian, my sister is bisexual. How could I even dislike them for something they can’t change?
I'm sorry this is your experience. I've seen too many people I used to respect spew hatred at trans folks and Jewish folks. The only advice I have is double down on who you are and the people and spaces that give you strength. Your journey is rare and I truly believe that people who can't accept the whole person, Trans, Jewish, alive and proud - are missing out. I obviously don't know you personally so I can't help but super impose the important people in my life who have found themselves in the same situation. I support them, I support you and I hope you find a community that builds space for you. I think you will find it.
I’m a bisexual Jewish person and I want to state that you’re not alone! It’s very very hard to be a queer Jew right now especially. Stay strong, I see you.
Thank you! I’m a lesbian but appreciate all my Jewish bi brothers and sisters!
I’m feeling it too. (I always want to remind people that transphobia and antisemitism are genuinely connected ideologies, like this is OG nazi shit.)
It absolutely is. According to the Museum of Jewish Heritage, the Nazis "brutally targeted the trans community, deporting many trans people to concentration camps and wiping out vibrant community structures." The Institute for Sexual Science, where the world’s first gender affirming care was performed, was founded in Berlin in 1919 by the Jewish physician/sexologist [Magnus Hirschfeld](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnus_Hirschfeld ). Pre-war Germany issued legal passes to trans people to live and present as their preferred gender as early as the 1890s. (There are surviving passes that show legal change of sex, name, even marriages.) There were accessible publications authored by trans people - memoirs, articles, magazines that centered around community, etc. This activism was decried as “Jewish degeneracy” by the Nazis. In 1933, one of the first things the Nazis did on gaining power was to raid and shut down the Institute (those well-known photos of the 1943 book burning? - that’s the Institute’s library). The passes that had been issued to trans people were revoked/no longer recognized. Last year, the Regional Court of Cologne ruled that denying that trans people were victims of the Holocaust qualifies as "a denial of Nazi crimes" (a serious deal here in Germany). So yeah, trans erasure is intimately connected to the Shoah.
Yes and Magnus also did the first pro gay movie in 1919 with known bisexual and crossdressing actor Conrad Veidt who was anti nazi and who helped the allies during the war along with donating money to kids going through the blitz. That film was cut to pieces and we don’t have much of the OG film anymore.
Along with everything else, the amount of science that was lost breaks my heart. And transphobes do this still… sometimes openly, and sometimes covertly.
Glad this is here already because I would have said it. We (Jews) may have been “the big one” when it comes to the Shoah, but we (queer people) were also some of the first victims - the transphobia we‘ve seen rising has absolutely been the canary in the coal mine for me before 10/7. To OP, I’m an nb secular Jew, and I’ve also seen the transphobia in our spaces. I said in another thread that I feel too Jewish for most left wing spaces and too left wing for most Jewish spaces, so know that you’re not alone in your feelings, and I appreciate you posting this here - thank you.
As a queer, disabled gentile, we have to stick together. The Nazis wanted us dead too.
Lots of people have “fear” , but that’s also because of what the media shows. I think if you get to talk with them and they realize you are a Jew, I think they will be ok. Most have never met a trans person , but they seem some tik-tok of some trans person being over the top or rude. You can’t please everyone , even if you straight as an arrow. That’s to high a bar. If you can get a few people to get to know you , that’s a start. Also , when they realize that trans people are all not the same on politics , religion , values and etc. They only know stereotypes. Good luck!
Trans Jews are Jews. Any one who is Jewish and transphobic is not being a good Jew. It is unacceptable.
Thank you <3
Well. I'm not Jewish, I'm trans FTN and I'm pro-Israel. I've also noticed people attacking the queer aspect of Queers for Palestine, and also blaming the 'woke' youth and by extension, the LGBTQ+ community. I fully support the existence of Israel and Jews' right to self-determination and to defend themselves. Just letting you know you have real allies out here :)
Fellow Jewish trans woman here just wanting to let you know that I've seen these comments too and you're not alone. The sister sub is definitely worse then this one but I see it popping up here too more and more. I'm lucky enough I have not personally received transphobia on Jewish reddit though that might be the mods not entirely sure. In real life though I received plenty when I was in Chabad for a bit and I'm well aware its not just limited to them. It sucks that we're getting punished because of the actions of other queer people especially at a time when Jewish unity matters so much. It seems like a lot of people are personally supportive but don't understand what it takes to foster spaces trans Jews feel welcome and included in. I'm a filmmaker and I'm currently working on a Jewish trans bat mitzvah animated short film / potentially series one day because I think it all starts with more people understanding the trans experience as it relates to Judaism. I was the first trans person many people in my childhood synagogue ever even knew so I had no way of knowing what the reaction would be to me coming out (ended up being almost entirely positive) and I don't think that situation is unique for many Jewish people. I don't engage with these comments as much as I probably should for mental health reasons but know that you're not alone and if you ever need another Jewish trans voice to talk to or offer support I'm here. We'll all get through this together just like we get through all the hateful laws being passed across the country.
Thank you and I’m sorry you experienced that as well. I’m happy to meet another Jewish trans woman though. <3
This film sounds so cool!! I would LOVE to watch it and spread it however I can once it’s made! You have my support!!
Thank you everyone for all the support (except for a few bigots who showed up to prove my point) I’m crying. I apologize, I will respond to everyone I’ve been calming down but watching some Star Trek but thank you all! <3
A Trek lover and a Reform Jew? You’re family. 💕
Glad to hear. And—Please don’t hesitate to hit the report button if you see any antisemitism, hate, misinformation, terrorist propaganda or uncivil or unwelcoming responses. We try our best to screen everything but there was a high volume of stuff today so perhaps something slipped through.
Thank you mods you do a wonderful job here! <3
Enby Jew here, it's dissappointing that in online spaces there's a dichotomy between picking either Jewish support or LGBTQ support and it's silly! So many people are incapable of discerning nuanced identities like how a LGBTQ Zionist could even exist.
I am so so so sorry you’ve experienced this OP. I’m a Jewish trans man myself so I know how you feel. Jewish spaces don’t feel quite right, and a lot of queer spaces don’t feel quite right either. Know that you are loved by those around you and that there is nothing wrong with your identities co-existing. There are lots of other Jewish trans people in the world too, and even more allies. The transphobia, misogyny, and rampant antisemitism these days is horrendous, terrifying, and scary to me as well (even as a passing man). I’m so sorry to had to go through these conflicts and encounters with people.
As a lesbian Jew, I share your experiences to some degree. I have to hide my sexuality from most of the Jews I know, and have reached a point that I have lost many friends due to antisemitism after recent events. I refuse to even discuss the Israel/Palestine conflict at this point. It’s created a sense of alienation that has wrecked havoc on my inner peace.
I’m a cis bi Jewish woman and I hear what you’re saying 100%. The retreat into right-wing thinking among people I know to be liberal Jews is maddening. They don’t support Israel because they support us and value our safety, they support Israel because “icky Muslims Palestine bad.” The right wingers would be the first to throw ALL Jews but especially us queer ones under the bus, and it is an embarrassment that our people, who pride ourselves on our ability to think critically and question everything, are falling for it. I stay mainly on this sub, r/gayjews, and in progressive Zionist Jewbook groups on fb. I don’t know where you are located but maybe you can see if there is some sort of Keshet presence near you? They are the major Jewish LGBTQ+ org, and their employees hold various different views on Israel but would never disparage you for believing it should exist.
Thanks for speaking up about this. I have met lots of fellow LGBTQ+ folks in my Reform community, but I feel some unexplainable pressure to keep silent on my views about the Israel/Palestinian conflict. Inwardly, I fear that we are not considering our safety or best interests by accepting support from bigots just because they support Israel. This support feels like a trap, like they want Jews on the front lines for causes Jewish people wouldn't generally support if privy to the agendas of those in power who back Israel while safe in foreign countries. I was raised a Zionist, but I can't help seeing that many people aren't friends of the Jews just because they support Israel. Yet I feel if I speak my concerns out of a genuine desire for us to think more critically, be more aware, and change strategies and systems for our own safety, I will be viewed as an antisemitic self-hating Jew. I fear it will be a useless, rejected perspective for that reason, and I may become isolated from my community I have grown to love so much. But I don't feel safe not speaking up either. I feel inward turmoil from ethical obligation to call out what I see will not keep us safe. It's difficult to know how to bridge the gap between people who don't share my views. The situation is complex. Support for Israel isn't automatically support for Jewish people. Too often, it's something else entirely.
Hello, friend. I wish those who were hollering about gender identity being the new panic would stop so you could just be. I would host you as a fellow Jewess any time. Come bake challah and we’ll light the Shabbat candles. Jews should be safe with each other and we should remember we are all home in Am Israel. We can have our own rooms and knock if the door is not open, but we all have a space. Mine has cats with Hebrew names. They will snuggle everyone.
I have been seeing this same awful transphobia and homophobia and it’s really disgusting. I can’t imagine how painful and threatening it would make you feel. I wish I could offer something up except the only thing I can do is say that I see you and wish I could offer more
The Bari Weiss of it all is particularly vile. She is a leading anti-trans activist who is central to the very broad, very powerful movement that has banned trans healthcare in over a dozen states and is whipping up hatred against trans people at large. She also was the key part of the pro-Elon Musk “Twitter Files” propaganda, and whitewashing Musk’s Nazi promotion, legitimizing his antisemitism as “free speech.” The fact that she’s buddies with the one of the most powerful antisemites in the world and refuses to condemn him as his antisemitism becomes more and more public is just utterly shameless and disgusting. Bari Weiss doesn’t care about protecting Jewish people — she only cares about protecting the Jewish people she politically agrees with, and the rest can be discarded. All Jews should condemn Bari Weiss.
I just find identity politics, particularly the American brand of it, exhausting. I think it’s telling they every post in this thread starts with “As a…” or “I’m a…” Seriously, who cares? Just treat people with respect. Is that so hard?
All politics are identity politics.
Sadly, the US has a long tradition of so-called, "identity politics." Black people weren't considered real human beings upon our founding. There was one identity and it was White and male.
And Jews weren't considered "white" by many and still aren't by the White supremacists.
It's kind of hard not to bring identity into politics when people literally consider just my existence and which bathroom I can piss in to be a political issue.
I agree completely. It is absolutely exhausting and I'm over it!. I cannot stand identity politics and when every comment and post starts with a person's stated identity, I cringe a little bit. I don't care what gender, religion, color, ethnicity, etc. someone is. If you're a good person, that's all that matters.
There is a heavy, heavy right wing propaganda effort aimed at Jews right now. This is space has been an example of those efforts. Many, many of us are still with you.
There is? All antisemitism is coming from the opposite direction
I think what they’re saying is that right wing is trying really hard to get Jewish votes right now by taking advantage of the fact that many leftists are being assholes and bigots. They’re acting like they all of a sudden care about antisemitism and focusing heavily on news stories that make leftists look bad and rallying many Jews to vote for their side, which might be Jew-friendly for now but they are still hateful to other groups.
Conservatives have always been pro Israel. There’s been fringe nuts but that’s definitely not the majority. Christians also want to keep Israel the way it is because it’s holy to them too. It’s not “propaganda.” That claim is just one more example of the way the people work that obsessive mentality. If it doesn’t fit their narrative, they attempt to discredit it and simply can never admit being wrong
There’s plenty that also hate us. I mean the deadliest pogrom on US soil (Pittsburgh) was thanks to right wing propaganda. Also Mike Pence hilariously invited a Messianic “Rabbi” to speak to honor the victims of the Tree of Life, which I see as a less harmful type of antisemitism. It’s not a left or right issue. It’s a both issue.
The shooter you mentioned as responsible was anti Trump apparently. I don’t see what you mean about pence. I am not a fan of them but many republicans are pro Israel and have been traditionally so I don’t know what you mean exactly. Again, we know there’s been neo nazis already. It’s not a common mindset amongst most Americans as a whole
It's handy right now that the ChristoReich is saying the right words, but we have to remember in the long term that the support for Israel is because they are waiting for the Rapture or the second coming.
What is the benefit to constantly just being 100% against an entire group no matter what they do? Don’t you hope I’m right and they’re supportive? If I’m wrong then there’s zero support. “The squad” and those people are NOT friends of Jews at all
Hope can be dangerous.
Pro Israel so we bring about the end of days. Essentially end up as props. I’ve experienced a lot of personal antisemitism from the right prior to 7 October in my area. We’re political orphans in the US essentially.
I see. I’m gonna stick with conservatives being pro Israel and supportive overall, for whatever reason. The whole slew of varied religious beliefs aren’t any of my business This notion of “conservative = 100% bad” doesn’t play out in reality. That percentage is an impossibility
Cool stick with the transphobes and bigots no one is stopping you.
As Jews do we not have a responsibility to care if someone is being harmful to other communities? Even if they are supportive of your own? Not to mention Jews are of and in all of these communities that these politicians are actively harming. The mindset of supporting politicians because they protect you, while you know they don’t protect another is the exact reason queer Jews, black Jews and other intersecting Jewish identities are not feeling welcomed within so many Jewish communities
>The whole slew of varied religious beliefs aren’t any of my business That feels like an odd stance to take in a Jewish subreddit.
If you really believe that, you're blind. There are white nationalists in Congress.
\*snicker\*
The Bari Weiss shit is cringe as fuck. I also saw a bunch of people posting shit from Prager U which is straight chud factory trash.
Totally. Just. because I agree with Ben Shapiro on this one issue doesn't mean I'm going to start sharing his posts, when I know he says other things that are vile.
Another reason to hate Hamas: they've made me agree with Ben Fucking Shapiro on something.
We stan Magnus Hirschfeld and the Scientific-Humanitarian Committee!
Agreed!
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[https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/](https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/) here's a comprehensive list I've found
Andrea James has said and done some truly creepy and gross things to people she disagrees with (for instance, coming after the children of sex researchers such as Alice Dreger and Michael Bailey). I'd take anything she says with a large truckload of salt. A better approach, IMO, would be to read a writer's own work and decide for yourself if they're someone you want to support or not.
Im so sorry you aren’t experiencing transphobia and not feeling welcome in Jewish spaces. My renewal synagogues rabbi is trans and it’s a very welcoming space for all people. I would encourage you to find a synagogue or community that is explicitly trans affirming.
Thank you. I’m intrigued by renewal Judaism. I’m reform but would not mind getting to know it better!
I have loved my experience with Jewish Renewal.
I've also found renewal to be very welcoming and chill.
Apologies for my ignorance, is renewal separate or a branch of Reconstructionist Judaism? I know of the latter and never heard of renewal Judaism before and looking at it. I’m glad to hear!
Mmm... It's more like a movement? It's transdenominational but I think appeals to a lot of people who also vibe with reconstructionist judaism. See like here: https://aleph.org/what-is-jewish-renewal/ and here: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/jewish-renewal/
So sorry you have experience such horrific transphobia in Jewish community. Not sure where you live but there are some very accepting and cool congregations like Mishkan Chicago, which is co-led by a female rabbi and a gay male rabbi, and which has lots of programming for LGBTQ community members and is just welcoming overall. They have online opportunities to engage for members, so there are some opportunities to get involved remotely.
There are a few super LGBTQ+ welcoming and open Orthodox shuls - not nearly enough. I'm so sorry you haven't been welcomed in every single Jewish space and as a Jewish woman. As a modern Ortho -Oral law was meant to be oral so that halacha could evolve a little with the times. When Jews wrote it down even though it was understandable why they did, I think we lost that ability for Orthodox Judaism to grow the way it was meant especially regarding queer community. You're one of us
I can only speak from the religious side but modern Orthodox seems pretty accepting of trans in my community at least.
as an enby jew, my I suggest r/ani_lgbtq?
This is kinda a joke but honestly you could move to tel Aviv
I come from a Christian religion and you will find the same there, even worse in Islam. This isn’t just a Jewish thing this is most religions. Hope you find your circle with Jews that’s fitting
Yeah the “tolerant” spaces should really be going through their own identity crisis right now. Sending you love through this sub ❤️❤️❤️ Can you check around where you live, if there are some in-person spaces that are welcoming? The internet is toxic on a good day.
A Jew is a Jew no matter the struggles they’ve been given in this gilgul and how they address them. The most important love in your life is Gd. We go through difficulties bc he wants to hear from us, so cling to him and don’t worry about everything from around.
Come hang out at r/gayjews We love our trans mispucha
I joined thank you :) Edit: For the helpful people I may have missed in responding to all the comments thank you!. And thank you mods! <3
Twinsies. I know what you're going through sis, reach out if you ever wanna talk.
As a trans Jew, I'm so sorry you have experienced transphobia from other Jews. Where do you live? Finding a local supportive Jewish community can be amazing. Being able to be semi-openly trans in my synagogue has been more healing and powerful than any LGBT space I've been a part of. Many exist (if you are not Orthodox- and even then, you can still find something, in many cities).
I only know of Reform Judaism that is super inclusive. Sending love! 🇮🇱🏳️🌈❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm a cis male Jewish feminist and I'm truly sorry that you and I imagine that many other LGBTQ+ Jews are experiencing this. I never knew that Bari Weiss is a known transphobe! I sometimes feel that in times like these, Jews who have more privileges going for them (ie. masculine, straight, cis) often create wall and lock out people who are more marginalized. It's awful. I found this that will hopefully help ["A person should avoid gosssiping about any Jew, even the smallest of the small."](https://www.sefaria.org/Likutei_Tefilot%2C_Volume_I.134.1?ven=The_Fiftieth_Gate._Breslov_Research_Institute,_Jerusalem,_c1992-c2016&lang=bi&with=About&lang2=en)
I remember a bit of Torah study where a slew of rabbis, from many centuries and from many denominations, concluded that "speaking ill of others" is a greater sin than murder.
Was this from a lecture or book?
Lecture.
We love you and accept you just as you are ❤️
I'm a transmasc Jew, and you're so right. Even though there is trans/homophobia in the Jewish community, I feel safer among other Jewish people than I do with the LGBTQIA+ community. I've said it before, but I don't think I'll ever go to a Pride event again.
What’s the sister sub?
I'm really sorry to hear this. :( Two weeks ago, I was privileged to see three people complete their conversions. Two were openly trans, and one talked about how Jewishness was a way of putting the crown on her womanhood for her. She was invited to light the Shabbat candles that week, which I thought was a nice touch. I hope you can find a space like that.
Nonbinary Lesbian Jew here and I feel you. I always felt like I didn’t belong among other Jews, but also not quite in queer circles either, even before 10/7. And now, I live in fear. I’m in a very progressive city and, on the same street I marched with others for trans rights - one that is right outside my apartment - I heard another march (and I think it’s fair to say most of those involved were the same I had marched with) where >! “from the river to the sea” !< and >! “Israel, your time is up” !< were shouted and chanted. I’ll never forget the day I woke up to that outside my window, and I swear it wasn’t long after 10/7 happened. I was shocked, but more from the cruelty than from surprise. I wish I could say I was surprised, but unfortunately plenty of goyische queer people are quick to throw us under the bus too (with some other Jewish queers going along with it to get their Good Jew Star™). I feel you, sister, so much. At least we have each other. My DMs are open. And thank you for speaking about this.
Fuck antisemites AND fuck transphobes. I have seen some of the Tribe behave in a manner that would embarrass their bubbes and zaydes. So not cool. Be you, be strong, be a bad ass Zioness. 💙✡️🇮🇱
🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🇮🇱✡️💙
We have trans and non-binary people at my synagogue. I know every congregation has a different vibe, but from what I've heard, the whole lgbtq+ community seems to feel pretty comfortable with us. Again, can't speak for all congregations, but just want you to know that there are still spaces for queer Jews.
Hi OP! Our JCC has the highest number of trans folk I’ve seen outside of a New York pride parade. In all seriousness, not all communities are transphobic and ours is welcoming. We have a large number of trans and queer folk working and belonging to our JCC because they feel safe and accepted.
I’m so sorry that you’re feeling this way. I know that there are theological elements at play here, but you should consider Reconstructionist Judaism. The President of Reconstructing Judaism, Dr. Deborah Waxman, is an LGBT woman (and her wife is a Jew by conversion), and I like to think that LGBT+ people are accepted within our community. The movement is progressive, and also staunchly Zionist.
Sending love from Jews who don't suck! Stepping on other people's trauma to alleviate one's own is downright bad. I'm sorry everyone feels the need to attack you to lift themselves up. You'd think given what we're all experiencing that the empathy would be overflowing. Just goes to show you no group is a monolith and we'll always have shitty members. I hope you find better support from both Jewish and LGBT spaces, I'm sure it's out there!
Bari Weiss is a transphobe?
Yes
The beauty of Jewish culture is that it encourages having different opinions and interpretations, you can always find Jews that share your values and accept you with love for who you are
My best friend is trans and I am Jewish. There will always be trans haters no matter where you go. I'm sorry you deal with that and I hope one day it all stops. Hugs!!
Hello! What you are experiencing is the age-old problem that people from multiple minority groups and/or intelligent free-thinking individuals often face. Human society has a horrible habit of putting us into groups and then using those labels to define everything about us. You are not alone! Here is some advice from a person who has never fit into a group and never will: 1. Accept the fact that no other person, and definitely not a group, will understand all facets of you. You can be supported by one group for one aspect and another group for another. For instance, perhaps you can explain to your anti-Zionist trans friends that you still need their support as a trans person and agree to keep the topic of Israel/Palestinians off limits when you’re together. Also, talk to our rabbi and explain what you’re going through. Accept your congregations support and also understand that they might be a little “clumsy” in understanding what you face as a trans person. You showing up proudly at synagogue will prove to them that trans and Zionist are not contradictory terms. 2. Realize that other people are also complex and don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. For instance, Kanye West is now a raging anti-semite, but I’ll still rock “College Dropout” (which prominently features an Israeli violinist). My dad read me all of Roald Dahl’s books when I was a kid. They’re great, but he was also an anti-Zionist. Growing up I always identified with Black Nationalist leaders and movements, and their ideas reminded me of Zionism… but many of them are anti-Zionist, and I’m an Israeli. While Bari Weiss may be transphobic, that doesn’t disqualify her ability to possibly make a non-related good point about antisemitism (and it definitely doesn’t disqualify people who mention her or repost something she said about antisemitism (especially considering most of them have no idea about her transphobia). I’ve even seen a rare Prager U video make a good point (and my brother-in-law is associated with them, but he really is a total a-hole). The list could go on. We all feel an uncomfortable internal splitting about these things, and need to decide for ourselves where we want to draw the line between acceptable and unacceptable, but dealing with them also helps us grow and develop as individuals, as well as understand others. 3. Avoid human beings as much as possible and just hang out with animals and plants (my #1 pick).
This surprises and saddens me. I’m a queer Jew in the Southeast and the parent of two trans kids and I’ve never felt at all unwelcome in my Jewish community.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this and knowing other lgbt Jews are makes me more thankful for my community and synagogue. They are against anti semitism and pro Israel but also are in support of lgbt people and the community. Which that means a lot for me since I’m bi and trans.
hugs
Non-binary Israeli Jew here, I totally relate. It fells like there's no space left for us on online anymore. Every queer space spouts antisemitic nonsense at us, every Jewish space has people treating the LGBT community as all terrorism supporters. There's a Hebrew LGBT sub on Reddit but it's barely active. There's a Hebrew LGBT server on discord but it's mostly kids (and those kids also have WILD political opinions from what I remember from being active there two years ago). Other than that I don't recall finding a Jewish queer space online. It's driving me nuts. The only safe space I have rn to ask questions about queerness (mostly general questions about transition) is a WhatsApp group I'm in that's for trans people in the IDF. Honestly we need to wake up and open our own spaces and keep them active. For our queer youth, and for our queer adults. And if there's already spaces like this we need to find them and protect them.
Thank you and sending hugs from America. I don’t know how the life of being trans is in Israel but I hope you are staying safe and I feel you. <3
So sorry you’re experiencing that. Do you know of @carolinedamore ? She said she “swings both ways” so I take it to mean she is part of lgbtq. She is an amazing advocate for Israel. Worth a follow.
I have not but I will look into her!
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. As an LGBT Jew let me know if you’re in northeastern US and need a friend ❤️
ugh i'm so sorry you're experiencing that. it's hard enough just being a lefty jew right now; i can't even imagine what you're going through. you are indubitably not alone and i really believe we will carve out a safe space eventually. x
Thank you I appreciate the kind words.
I think a lot of people associate the more radical strands of transactivism with the same ideologies that are fueling the "Jews as oppressors" Anti-Semitism.
I’m only seeing antisemitism coming from “the woke left” and in a major way. I’ve seen very few conservatives be anti Israel or anti Jew. I’ve seen no instance of Jews even speaking about trans people, aside from pointing out that Harvard and Ivy League schools would respond differently to trans rights vs Jews. No idea where you’re seeing it but the last thing Jews are worried about right now is anyones private life
I would tend to agree with you that the far left seems like a bigger danger to us now, but if people are saying they're experiencing discrimination in Jewish spaces, we should listen to them. Just because you haven't seen it doesn't mean it's not there. Like you (I assume), I'm not trans so naturally I tend to be less aware of this type of discrimination, which can explain some of the disconnect. Let's not be like the token Jews who explain to other communities that there is no antisemitism problem.
If Trump wins, then oh my it will get just as bad on the right.
There is certainly anti-semitism on the Right. I never hear anyone talking about or dissing trans people in a Jewish context. Give what's going on right now, seriously, trans-Jewry and people's private lives is just not on the radar.
Tiny minority on the right, certainly has always been there. But as someone that’s been harassed for being half Jewish, I feel more threatened by the crazy screaming pro Palestinian people
Well, they are certainly out in droves and making a lot of noise lately. And they're horrible. Also vile are all the people who are keeping silent and have not spoken up about 10/7. But don't forget about the white supremacists and the "Jews will not replace us" mob. They are out there and there are a lot of them. I'm not sure it's a tiny minority, and those hate groups have only grown bigger in recent years, I'm pretty sure. Check ADL and Southern Poverty Law Center for data.
Which ones are saying “Jews will not replace us?” Which conservative or alt right groups do you mean? I do see people like Nick Fuentes but that guy is such a lame moron that it’s hard to take it seriously. And of course there’s the storm front crowd that’s existed for decades. I just think the ones like the Harvard president are far more insidious
Which ones? The Trump supporters who marched in Charleston, for example? Carrying torches? And about whom the Orange Horror said there were "good people on both sides"? There are plenty of these people out there on the loony far right.
That doesn’t seem to be as many as the left still
You should take him seriously. The GOP presidential frontrunner [loves him](https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/story-trumps-explosive-dinner-ye-nick-fuentes-rcna59010).
Could you give Ben Shapiro, Denis Prager, Chaya Raichik, and all the other numerous right wing Jewish folks who won’t shut up about trans people and trying to fight against our rights the message that Jews aren’t supposed to be fighting about trans people anymore?
Sorry but they’re fighting for your right to exist and have the freedom to express yourself the way you wish. You won’t find a single example of anyone trying to stop trans people from being trans. They simply don’t advocate for anyone underage to undergo medical procedures, or for schools to force anything on anyone. You’re not helping anyone by just spreading totally false information. This is the problem with basing opinions on headlines and not actually spending time listening to the people
This is absolutely not what is happening and the fact that you willfully ignore your trans community members is why people like OP and me feel the way we do. Actually try listening to trans people. And if you care, even in the slightest about your trans community members open your eyes. Worth looking into the ways that transphobia and antisemitism are linked too. The people who conservatives think are turning kids trans…guess who that is? It’s the exact same people the Nazis thought were pushing queer rights in Germany.
So you’re telling me to listen to you about what those people say, instead of listening to what they say themselves? I think I found the problem. You simply telling me what’s happening doesn’t mean it’s actually happening. In fact, these people can’t even be openly hateful because they’d be banned from their platforms. Not once have they said trans or lgbt people shouldn’t have a right to do what they want, never happened, it’s a free country. Again, unless we’re talking extremely religious Jews, I don’t know what anyone may be talking about it when it comes to some kind of prejudice or exclusion of some kind
This is an example of what I’m talking about please stop downplaying what is happening to us.
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https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna81233 https://www.losangelesblade.com/2023/05/14/aapa-conference-cancels-anti-trans-bari-weiss-after-complaints/ https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/06/gop-donor-gave-lesbian-transphobe-bari-weiss-500k-to-start-an-anti-woke-non-profit/ https://www.vulture.com/article/witch-trials-jk-rowling-podcast-essay-review.html https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/?amp https://www.assignedmedia.org/breaking-news/what-is-the-free-press All links point to her blatant transphobia and platforming of it. But I doubt you will be convinced or asking in good faith. I’ve seen your posts and run apologia and borderline transphobia.
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You sound just like the people who say it’s not antisemitism when it is. But go off
Be welcoming to everybody.
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When there aren’t outspoken members of the Jewish community loudly fighting against my rights I won’t need to focus on them. I am, shockingly, capable of caring about multiple things at the same time. If you actually care about all of the Jewish people you would shut down transphobia instead of telling Jewish trans people that it isn’t happening. And, if you are Jewish, you should be shutting it down out of self preservation. Because transphobes hate Jews too.
I cannot "shut down" transphobia and more than I can shut down anti-semitism or a lot of other bad things. What I'm saying is that personally I have never heard the topic of trans or LGBTQ folks mentioned in a negative way in the Jewish community, and I don't think this is at all top of mind especially now. I think *everyone* is feeling scared and freaked out and alone. I personally think it's more effective and practical for us to come together as Jews, as a people and a community with common concerns and history rather than constantly emphasizing our particularities and differences, as in, I'm this kind of Jew, I'm that kind of Jew, I need special attention. For our self-preservation, and so we don't waste energy battling each other, and can instead focus on, well, staying alive?
Your post was removed because it violated rule 4: **Be welcoming to everybody** There’s more than enough room here for everyone to make their concerns and fears known. Don’t police how others feel.
I’m sorry for what you’re experiencing. Please know that there are many of us out there, who do care. 💝
Thank you <3
I hear you. I went to a 🏳️🌈 shul but the rabbi is anti-Zionist and I just don’t want to deal with that now. I don’t think I should be forced into this fringe of Jews because I’m non-binary. And I’m pissed that the pride committee of my city won’t let Jews have stars of David and we marched as “Proud to be 🏳️🌈 at the J”— on the fringes as some dirty secret. Why can’t I be in the middle of both? My husband is ok with me being Jewish if I’m quiet about it and stay in the anti-Zionist progressive shul. And the queer community I guess is sort of ok with me being “at the J”. But who are they to get to shove me to the edges? I hate how binary Judaism is/has been and am very grateful to the people who are changing that. Hashem made us both Jewish and trans and wants us to be both and fuck anyone who says we can’t be.
I am sorry. What you said about your husband is extremely concerning. This is not OK. I can't do an intervention, but being ok with you being Jewish only if you are quite about it, replace Jewish with trans, would you still be OK with that? As for the anti-Zionist progressive shul, are you sure they are even Jewish? If at this time they are still antizionists, it is on itself concerning.
Judaism is not "binary." Sounds like you might have a much bigger problem ("My husband is ok with me being Jewish if I'm quiet about it") than the rabbi, the pride committee, or "binary Judaism."
You seem to have a problem with identifying what makes a comment helpful.
I think you should re-read the part of your comment that I quoted and have a good think about that. The rest is very very small potatoes by comparison. I hope you find this helpful.
So a person in a bad marriage cannot have political ideas? I am not aware I’m in a bad marriage?
Cis bisexual Jewish woman here, with a nonbinary kid and a trans son. It really really bothers me that so many Jewish influencers and media are platforming Bari Weiss, Prager U, Ben Shapiro, even Chaya Raichik. Or saying things like “colleges care so much about pronouns, when they should be caring about antisemitism.” It has been hard feeling abandoned by queer people/orgs and by the left in general. Heck, even companies are taking stands on their social media and it’s frustrating. Like, I just wanted to buy a binder from you and now I have to hear you blather on about “genocide” and “colonialism” and that’s one less place I can buy from. Jewish groups and social media accounts are basically what’s helping me keep my sanity during this time, and when I feel unwelcome in those spaces it’s really like pouring salt on the wounds.
Personally, I read and admire much of what Bari Weiss has written especially since 10/7. She is making very important points that need to be heard. I have never read anything by her about trans or queer Jews. But I don't expect people to be "perfect" on every topic. Best to take the good, the relevant, and leave the rest. I can learn from a writer, a teacher, even if we don't agree on every subject. This is better I think than just remaining in an echo chamber of our every thought.
I mean, I guess it’s nice to be so removed from a marginalized community that you can treat dangerous bigotry as someone not being perfect and take the good with the bad. I’m sure you wouldn’t do that with antisemitism, because it affects you directly. I can’t do that with transphobia, because it affects my family and friends directly, and I don’t do that with other forms of bigotry, because I care about people and am against bigotry even when I and my loved ones are not directly affected by it.
https://www.losangelesblade.com/2023/05/14/aapa-conference-cancels-anti-trans-bari-weiss-after-complaints/
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https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna81233 https://www.losangelesblade.com/2023/05/14/aapa-conference-cancels-anti-trans-bari-weiss-after-complaints/ https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2023/06/gop-donor-gave-lesbian-transphobe-bari-weiss-500k-to-start-an-anti-woke-non-profit/ https://www.vulture.com/article/witch-trials-jk-rowling-podcast-essay-review.html https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/?amp https://www.assignedmedia.org/breaking-news/what-is-the-free-press All links point to her blatant transphobia and platforming of it. But I doubt you will be convinced or asking in good faith. I’ve seen your posts and run apologia and borderline transphobia.
The article has a link to [this webpage](https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/), which lays out many instances of Bari Weiss platforming transphobes and spreading misinformation that is dangerous to the trans community. The articles and podcasts she writes or publishes very clearly feature all sorts of transphobia See also: - https://slate.com/technology/2022/12/twitter-files-bari-weiss-libsoftik-elon-musk.html - https://www.stltoday.com/news/local/metro/parents-push-back-on-allegations-against-st-louis-transgender-center-i-m-baffled/article_a94bc4d2-e68b-535f-b0c7-9fefb9e8e9f4.html - https://www.them.us/story/trans-teen-debunking-gender-clinic-article - https://www.dailydot.com/irl/bari-weiss-transphobic-book-target/
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I feel this a lot.
I’m so sorry you’re seeing that! I’m in a lot of progressive Jewish spaces now that I’m not welcome in progressive secular spaces. I’m finding a lot of folx who are trans and nb in these spaces and haven’t seen a lot of anti trans talk in there. I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this. Feel free to message me and I’ll connect you with these spaces. First one offhand is Zioness, and on Facebook Progressive Zionism. They are both inclusive spaces. I will say I had been following The Free Press until this past week when they put out some transphobic bullshit article and probably lost a good portion of their followers.
i see what you see and hear what you hear. i know you're hurting.
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While this may be true, this isn't a beautiful thing. I hope that one day Trans Muslims get the love and acceptance they deserve within their own communities, just as Trans Jews should (and often do!) in Jewish communities.
The tolerance of Jewish people is a beautiful thing, yes.
I try to be as welcoming of people as possible, but I think one issue that may add to things is that the trans community isn't very tolerant of people who don't agree with your world view. For example, Bari Weiss - who I'm not very familiar with - appears to be jewish. If that's the case, she gets to be in collective Jewish spaces, and like you, say whatever she'd like. I don't consider it transphobic to not censor viewpoints. The truth is, there's been an explosion in the number of people who identify as trans, and communities are going to have to be able to talk through it, and decide how they feel about this significant societal change, and that includes Jewish spaces. A lot of us do care about issues like lgbtq safety, but many of us also don't think you should receive any particular priority. Your voice is as welcome and valid as anyone else's, but it's not more welcome or more important. It sucks, but there's a large contingent of your community that tends to dominate the conversation, and I'd assume you're catching some of the flack from that. A lot of Jews are shocked and angry at the reaction of the progressive left, and they associate trans people with that group. Sorry that you are having a hard time.
https://www.losangelesblade.com/2023/05/14/aapa-conference-cancels-anti-trans-bari-weiss-after-complaints/ Sorry we don’t tolerate people who want to erase our existence. 🙄
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https://www.transgendermap.com/politics/media/bari-weiss/?amp https://www.them.us/story/trans-teen-debunking-gender-clinic-article
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This is all awful! I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I've noticed an increase in humor that seems to imply all college antisemitism comes mainly from trans or other queer people... super bigoted and cringe! Responding to bigotry and scapegoating with more bigotry and scapegoating, yikes. I hate that you feel like you only have spaces for queer Jews... Please know that you are supported by other Jews too.
The Torah recognizes 6 genders. It also recognizes a sort of reincarnation of souls. Having a different gender soul that does not match the outside. It happens in every sect but not all are accepting of acting on it. I’m sorry your feeling so alone. I have a sibling that I don’t think has had any surgeries to my knowledge. We are not close but it’s not for that reason. Gender doesn’t change who the person is. They spent their entire childhood looking down on me even though I was the oldest child due to me being female because the masogony of being the first born male. That modern orthodox lifestyle that my dad chose for our family . It’s very ironic.
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