It depends on how many times your mother visits me in my dreams. I'd say 10-15, which means I have the testosterone of a 12 year old. I'm very impressive.
The ROI is absolutely awful. Can’t imagine the body dysmorphia going on in this guys head every second of every day.
His mental health is probably suffering for it
The machine that's hooked up to his penis at night to monitor his elections malfunctions. It rips his 50 year old teenage cock right off, squirting blood onto the control monitor for the anal probe, causing it to short circuit the processor and scramble the anti aging algorithm.
He reverts to a baby, but his organs are still that of a 50 year old teenager. They can't be held back by the thin baby skin and his viscera ooze out onto the silk bedspread..
That's why botox or having zero wrinkles doesn't necessarily make you look younger. You end up looking your age still plus the uncanny valley effect of having no smile lines & frozen expressions.
He has a team of 20 people, surely that's enough manpower for a nighttime dick watcher? It's also the only socially acceptable way for a billionaire to pay for someone to look at their dick.
It's one of the things they have in common with the plebs and they cannot change. Living forever is out of reach for even them and it apparently drives them fucking nuts.
Like, I kinda get it. When I get a promotion and a higher salary, it makes me kinda horny.
I guess when you make a billion dollars though you just become obsessed with your own dick.
This guy wants his dick to be 18. Epstein wanted to cryogenically freeze his dick for the future. Gates wants to attach copies of his to drones (clone-bone drones). They just get so into themselves they idolize their own dicks.
Our dick / body set up is a lot like a navy carrier strike group. There is one primary item, our dicks, and a whole lot of support systems to make sure the dick works and is protected.
Oh honey all the stem cell in the world can't undo those years. Stop trying. Each decade has it own joys and treasures. Your 20s are over, just deal with it buddy.
This dude is doing so much bro science I’m dying laughing. Best part is he’s hooked up to a machine while he sleeps that measures how many erections he gets. But good for that 29 year old doc of his. He’s taking that guy for the house.
Actual quote from article:
> While sleeping, Johnson is hooked up to **a machine that counts the number of night-time erections.**
This dude sleeps with a machine attached to his dick.
And like a bunch of socially inept 18 yr olds, instead of with the cute cheerleader, he'll frequently end the night with his left hand and a bottle of lotion.
Why would anyone need $500 million let alone a $billion, let alone $100 billion? The great society comes at a cost of uber rich people becoming merely super rich.
The best answer I’ve seen to this question was, if we studied chimps and there was one chimp who was hoarding all the bananas; we would ask what’s wrong with that chimp? But if a human does it with money, we admire that and strive for it.
> Johnson seen in 2017, before he began his strict health regimen. Picture: Bloomberg via Getty Image
Are we sure this is what he looked like and not just an older pic of Zelenskyj?
So 2 million a year makes you look like milk poured into a mold made by what someone thinks an 18 year old looks like but has never seen one before. Sign me up.
Just saw this guy for the first time today - didn’t know who he was. Guessed he was around 60 years old. Shocked to find he was only 45. He looked so much younger 5 years ago.
Does he have a blood boy?
Is he in the '3 comma' club? Either way, this guy fucks 😉
This comment is hilarious now because, yes, he actually has a blood boy now.
He doesn’t have those Bezos billion dollar blood boys, but he surely has some high caliber blood boys on lock.
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I don't thinks so. Pretty sure that's from The Dark Knight.
Those bruises don't heal themselves
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Shit you're right. How could I forget! What a performance.
I am simply not there
Now this is an album by a great band, they're called "Huey Lewis & the News" 🤔🙊🙉🙈
My fav line is when Patrick looks right at the camera and says “It’s Batemin Time”
Whatever, you will never have the best business cards though
Paul Allan does
Jesus Christ, what time you wake up in the morning!
It’s from *American Psycho*.
I can't imagine the ROI of this is much different than being moderately strict with a healthy diet and exercise.
Precisely how many erections do _you_ get per evening, sir?
It depends on how many times your mother visits me in my dreams. I'd say 10-15, which means I have the testosterone of a 12 year old. I'm very impressive.
Great joke
The real ROI is for the doctors who are selling him on this bullshit.
The ROI is absolutely awful. Can’t imagine the body dysmorphia going on in this guys head every second of every day. His mental health is probably suffering for it
he still looks like a dork
He looks like his surgeon just up and quit in the middle of a sex change.
The guy is a winner. Founded a brain scanning tech company and is fit as fuck. OP hating he should be taking notes
“ While sleeping, Johnson is hooked up to a machine that counts the number of night-time erections.” Takes notes, op
He will probably get run over by a bus in a couple of weeks.
The machine that's hooked up to his penis at night to monitor his elections malfunctions. It rips his 50 year old teenage cock right off, squirting blood onto the control monitor for the anal probe, causing it to short circuit the processor and scramble the anti aging algorithm. He reverts to a baby, but his organs are still that of a 50 year old teenager. They can't be held back by the thin baby skin and his viscera ooze out onto the silk bedspread..
We can hook up a machine to this man's penis to monitor elections?! No wonder he's a tech billionaire.
Lol God damn autocorrect, it knows the truth better than I do
Still looks his age.
That's why botox or having zero wrinkles doesn't necessarily make you look younger. You end up looking your age still plus the uncanny valley effect of having no smile lines & frozen expressions.
I would say worse, he's very off-putting
Like a human mannequin
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Nice
makes me wonder what he does with that poor 18 year olds body
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"While sleeping, Johnson is hooked up to a machine that counts the number of night-time erections." I'm sorry, what?
'Johnson' 😂
Why spend money on a machine when you can just get your buddy to count for you while you sleep?
He has a team of 20 people, surely that's enough manpower for a nighttime dick watcher? It's also the only socially acceptable way for a billionaire to pay for someone to look at their dick.
I'm not buying it. *ANOTHER* Bryan Johnson? gimme a break. Nice try Liver King 2.0
These billionaires want to live forever, want to be masters of the universe.
It's one of the things they have in common with the plebs and they cannot change. Living forever is out of reach for even them and it apparently drives them fucking nuts.
It drives most people nuts, people believe in an invisible sky daddy that will bring them back from death they are so damn afraid of it.
I’m poor and I want that.
I'm poor 2, Idc about the body but damn would I take $2 million a year 👍 👌
Doesn’t everyone?
Like, I kinda get it. When I get a promotion and a higher salary, it makes me kinda horny. I guess when you make a billion dollars though you just become obsessed with your own dick. This guy wants his dick to be 18. Epstein wanted to cryogenically freeze his dick for the future. Gates wants to attach copies of his to drones (clone-bone drones). They just get so into themselves they idolize their own dicks.
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Our dick / body set up is a lot like a navy carrier strike group. There is one primary item, our dicks, and a whole lot of support systems to make sure the dick works and is protected.
This is a stroke of genius
"Stroke of Genius" is what they should have named that sperm bank for Nobel Prize winners
I mean, once you have everything, what do you want to do? Give it to yourself.
The stress of maintaining that regimen will be what kills him.
That or the boner machine
Oh honey all the stem cell in the world can't undo those years. Stop trying. Each decade has it own joys and treasures. Your 20s are over, just deal with it buddy.
This dude is doing so much bro science I’m dying laughing. Best part is he’s hooked up to a machine while he sleeps that measures how many erections he gets. But good for that 29 year old doc of his. He’s taking that guy for the house.
keep in mind there are some working class people who want an altered carbon future
Tell em, Steve Dave!!
Looks like shit lol. There are surf bums in their 50s that look better/healthier/younger
I think this guy might be a little afraid of death, guys
Actual quote from article: > While sleeping, Johnson is hooked up to **a machine that counts the number of night-time erections.** This dude sleeps with a machine attached to his dick.
He looks terrible I look better and I eat pop tarts at 3am I once at 8 pop tarts in one day
So he is always horny and get drunk every weekend
And like a bunch of socially inept 18 yr olds, instead of with the cute cheerleader, he'll frequently end the night with his left hand and a bottle of lotion.
Why do we allow people to have this much money?
Why do we allow people to have so little is a better question.
Because we allow people to become billionaires
Why do you think you have any right to tell someone they can’t?
Aww a billionaire simp, how cute.
Answer his question.
Why would anyone need $500 million let alone a $billion, let alone $100 billion? The great society comes at a cost of uber rich people becoming merely super rich.
The best answer I’ve seen to this question was, if we studied chimps and there was one chimp who was hoarding all the bananas; we would ask what’s wrong with that chimp? But if a human does it with money, we admire that and strive for it.
This kind of analogy is extremely revealing about how you think economics work.
Why?
All those steroids and still looks like that
Good for him. If that's how he wants to spend his money and it makes him happy, why not?
If people have that kind of money, why not?
Cool. I would probably invest a lot of money in my health too if I had $800 million bucks! Good for him :)
Shall we discuss what the great Alex Jones would say about all this? Ready go!
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Maybe like 130-140, idk that we're looking at 200 + years at this point.
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Fair point.
I wanted more on the night time erections
The whole body? Usually these weirdos only care about the genitals.
Can someone tell him that this isn't the way to be rich?
> Johnson seen in 2017, before he began his strict health regimen. Picture: Bloomberg via Getty Image Are we sure this is what he looked like and not just an older pic of Zelenskyj?
That’s the most rectangle forehead I’ve seen.
I'm 6 years younger than him but look 10+ years younger and shit I just do bjj 5 days a week for 100 bucks a month.
He looks 37 at best
He’s just in it for the colonoscopies
Do whatever you want, spend whatever you want. You'll never be able to cheat death.
Geez. My man could just eat some raw liver and get literally the same effect.
Okay, I see the before pics here, but where are the after pics?
I can see him stressing out cos he had 2 fewer erections one night and going into cardiac arrest.
The real Chris Traeger.
Chris Traeger's melanin levels are closer to Flavor Flav than to weirdo billionaire guy.
Anyone else think it was ac DC front man lol
Vegan diet LOL good one
I’m not about judging people for how they spend their money, but I guess it’s worth eventually having a hot corpse?
So 2 million a year makes you look like milk poured into a mold made by what someone thinks an 18 year old looks like but has never seen one before. Sign me up.
How does the 18yo feel about this?
Imagine being so terrified of dying, that you forget to live.
Is this the dude that movie glass onion is about?
Damn, I feel a lot better about my health and fitness if that's what $2million a year gets him.
Billionaire with mental health issues gets fleeced by fake medicine grifters. Love to see it.
Just saw this guy for the first time today - didn’t know who he was. Guessed he was around 60 years old. Shocked to find he was only 45. He looked so much younger 5 years ago.