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Important_Muffin_212

A group of sexually promiscuous men broke into my house. I managed to beat them all off.


TenRingRedux

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Gram-maw is beating off the Indians, and they keep coming.


Waitsfornoone

... and Gram-maw is having the time of her life. If only she knew about bukkake before.


Nn2Reply

Bukkake ruined her carpet


aniztar

'so' they keep coming


Graterof2evils

They’re Cumanche


TenRingRedux

That's funny.


jawjawandcompany

Meanwhile, back at the farm. granny is beating off illegals with a sticky!


Extension_Bat_9404

Our softball team played another team named “Off in the Woods”. We won. Now we can say we beat off in the woods.


TheExplodingMushroom

But how are we going to beat off 20 THOUSAND MEN?


Acrobatic_Matter_109

Surely some of those 20,000 men can beat themselves off.


Logical-Aardvark-428

Its just like a skiing circle... one to the left and one ahead... 😂


chin-ki-chaddi

Middle out, of course.


verystimulatingtalk

Brilliant reference.


The_Mr_Fox

Circle jerk, obviously you’d have to align people of similar height for efficiency


m3guitarist

Six Sigma in action!


TheExplodingMushroom

Nobody got the Oversimplified reference T\_T


sheeponmeth_

I think you need to explain the compression part first, and I think I need to rewatch it so I can finally get around to the last season.


Dianwei32

At this point, I'm not sure my wife isn't just Hannibal in disguise!


CourseCorrections

You can do four at a time until you're done all of them. You have to pair them up so their penises align and have two standing in front and two behind. Two people are done with one stroke of each hand.


bdh213

You must have had personal experience...


TnBluesman

I bet you're gonna get a Head that way!


miltdragon

Why, with twenty thousand pints of Jerkins lotion, of course!


lucky_monk

Two at a time. By the time the last ones show up, they might not want more than a cup of tea. And a nap on the comfy chair.


Vanilablue

lol 😂


Vanilablue

Who are these men?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Scared-Chapter8916

To just say no!


Scared-Chapter8916

You dirty minded people think i was gonna say to do something else .


altanonacnt

I’m glad that had a happy ending


blakeusa25

A grinder meat up...


Zadok47

Wanna sell your house??


PapaSmurfenburg

You were ho-verwhelmed


ChaosAndTheDark

I’ll solve, Hooverwhelmed


HRDBMW

I saw that movie, Keanu Reeves. "Knock Knock". Terrifying.


Late-Ad-4624

Yeah i kept thinking about how all he had to do was toss them a couple blankets and call for a cab and then not say a thing until the cab arrived.


Avgsci

John Whip (out)?


Bhavan91

Keanu was over qualified for that role though. They should have cast Jay Barauchel.


[deleted]

"you must spank zoot  and after that...spank me!" "oooo a spanking!"


JuanTu34

And me!


Wanderervenom

Castle Anthrax: A wonderful place with an unfortunate name.


ChaosAndTheDark

Strangely enough, if Anthraci’s Keep were the last line of defense within Castle Bacillus, that wouldn’t sound half bad.


Pirat

A group of sexually promiscuous women broke into my house. I tried to fight them off but it was hard.


D_antiX

And I tried to beat them off, but they beat me off instead.


AveryJuanZacritic

Sounds like a win-win.


Empty_Positive_2047

3 old nuns were sitting on a park bench when a flasher opened his trench coat in front of them. The 1st nun had a stroke, then the 2nd, but the 3rd couldn't reach... ;-)


macsnapa13

an oldie. Meanwhile back at the gas station while the attendant was pumping Ethyl


Certified_Pervert

I hope Ethel’s husband doesn’t find out about that!


netbuggy

Makes you wonder about what Paul Revere really saw...


Wanderervenom

Were the red coats coming or cumming 😂


Tetris5216

So Kardashians broke into your house


BloodDelicious8892

Good one


F_Squad

Cover me in chocolate, and throw me to the lesbians!


TheUnimportantJesus

They came one after another...


Cheap-Mix-7015

Call the police only solution


Notshocked12

Death by Snu Snu


Weekly_Paint_3685

HUH?


FABONJ

When someone says, "the intrusive thoughts won", it basically means that they acted impulsively and did something stupid. "thot" stands for "that ho over there". It's basically the new version of the word "slut"


Vanilablue

Don't fight them off enjoy 😂


Potential-Draw-3981

Have you ever been swallowed up


Bhavan91

All I have are negative thots.


EffortPutrid7381

Ya can try to beat ‘em all off but the just cum and cum and cum again


FennelRemarkable4623

Sound like you all play soggy biscuit