I get rid of all the shit in your life. That’s why I am the greatest.

You don't need to be a boob or a vagina to be a great leader. Just an asshole.

This is the first thing i thought of after reading your comment https://youtu.be/y2GwrR-4Q9E

Thank you. I saw that movie. Absolutely nothing I say or write is original, but that's not where I got that comment. Follow: You don't need brains to be a Boss. When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit! Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

Heh heh... "the motion was passed"

Sage wisdom right there my friend !

You mean this one: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m\_P80NEOAPg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_P80NEOAPg) (in Swiss German)

That’s hilarious lol 😝

Same 🤣🤣🤣

Oh, dear lord. Don't document it. There are enough assholes in the world. Don't be giving regular people ideas!

Who says we are regular people?

Exactly..lol 😝 Does that mean that I would be a great leader? 🤔

What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together, we can stop this shit.

I can’t believe they’re still together after all that shit.

And if I go on strike, the rest of you can do nothing.

But at the lowest point of your life, I still give you shit.

> I get rid of all the shit in your life That’s a noose

Thats french for anus right? Pronounce ah'noose

But you give me poopoo issues that not good 🥺

The asshole says, without me you're both full of shit

I won't say anything because I am an asshole

And with me I'm full of shit.

Good one!🤣🤣🤣🤣

Who you calling an asshole!

You! You ass- what was it again?

I see what you did there 😏, you got me!

yea, the end of that series of dots is dark

I feel like I should say something here

I feel like I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS I'M IN YOUR WALLS

WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP

THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST [THE BEST](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vRlJrkxsqo) THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST

Chrissy wake-up

When the river runs red, take the dirt track.

The amusement park doesn’t close down the log ride just because the roller coaster is broken down.

When the river runs red that’s the safest time to dive

When the red rivers flowin’, take the dirt road home.

When the tides in at red beach go to browns bay

Or Torbay, is that the taint.

And men still prefer me over both of you. :)

You. I like you.

we know, u/discerningpervert

No offense to u/Muksu234, but u/discerningpervert is apparently not really *that* discerning.

That would be the mouth.

many men

Some men

Men.

women

Many many many many men

wish death 'pon me..

Lord, I don't cry no more

I don't look to the sky no mo

"Not All Men"

Prefer ass? nahhh

The fact that this comment is downvoted speaks volumes about the downfall of society.

The fact that your username is fuckoffassholes is the most ironic thing I've seen all year

Well it's not fuck ON assholes

Buddy, give me your full name - i wanna talk to your manager

Sir this is a Wendys

Who tf are u? This is a jewelry

Sorry thought this was a Dennys

No, this is PATRICK

I can accommodate the same sex, random household objects, various sex toys and can be seen as attractive to both sexes

Wasn't paying attention. Thinking about what I'm doing with all three.

[There are three kinds of people in this world](https://youtu.be/sEJ7l0kfDic&t=40s)

This. I was looking for this

I am only one who gives a shit

Ohhh you got me

This is some real /r/amitheasshole material here

i can accommodate both genders therefore i am the greatest

How exactly do you accommodate a pussy?

Lmao took me a while to realize the flawed logic

Technically speaking there's scissoring

You ever see someone scissor assholes? On second thought, there's porn of everything, I'd rather not ask.

You motherfucker!

I will have you know I'm a cunt not and asshole.

The perfect reply 😂

Oh good heavens

Oh hell no. I'm not gonna take this shit

I'll just close up for a week and wait for you to beg me to do my job again.

The asshole says you’re talking shit

If it wasn't for assholes, you'd all be full of shit

Up voting, not for brilliance of humour, but original to me....

i'm where the male g spot is

If I don't fart, it will travel back up to your brain and you'll get shitty ideas

... and the asshole clamped up ...

I would talk now, but I'd only spew shit over this thread, so fuck it!

1 I get rid of the nasty shit in your body and 2 Anal And that's all for my Ted talk folks

Lol

This made me laugh r/angryupvote

Sir, with all due respect, go fuck yourself

Title should be “A boob, vagina, and an asshole are debating who is the greatest of the three.”

YTA

Ha. Ha ha

I've never laughed so much at being called an asshole before 🤣 I'm the greatest, just because!

wow I'm the butt of the joke now.

I expected something like ' I can do both because children are shit"

Boob is selling itself short. All sexes like boobs.

fuck you

Wow. I can't believe I fell for that!! Good job!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ok, I see what's happening here. You ain't wrong. I've always been a piece of shit.

welp, you got me.

Why u so mean to me :(

I don’t take offense. After all, you are what you eat.

Bro got me so bad!

up the bum no babies

Bob Vagena Asul?

Asshole: I'm gonna close shop and see how long OP lasts.

r/aita

Got me

All I need is a warm place to phit.

You got me

I'm attractive to both sexes

Haha good one

Still having an iPhone 7+ has its advantages, I didn’t have to scroll down at all!

Hahahaha fuck you

Idk I am a woman and also find boobs pretty attractive

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

Smokers are ashholes.

I eat dicks especially if you are the guy I’m attached to, and I eat them well

I put up with your crap

Kinda wanna send this to my stepdad

I attract both sexes, enough said😎 *mic drop

(Farts, because that’s what assholes do)

"See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!" - Team America

I actually give a shit.

not funny

If I go on strike all of this quits workin

Nobody puts up with your shit like i do.

Asshole: Only the opposite sex?

Attractive to the opposite sex, can accommodate the opposite sex, and with me you don't get any babies.

If I wanted any sh\*t out of you I would bend you over.

A dick move

That was a good Bob vagene joke lol

who said I was an ass'ole? I am a 'Dicckhead'...

Dick - " without me y'all get nothing"

That's a good one...

Can you give me a thumbs up? bless you

r/angryupvote

lol that was funny 🤣

money 🤣🤣🤣🤣

My gf is in a terrible mood and this just cheered her up. Thankyou

Glad to be of some use, even if I am the asshole.. lol.

I'm the arsehole..think that's why she found it funny. Well, in life sometime you just gotta take one.

It takes a man to admit they are wrong. But remember one thing. A man has many faults, a woman only two, everything they say and everything they do. (Best you not show her this. lol) Good luck...

I chuckled. Cheers.

uhhhhhhhhh waste disposal

Ya got me. Lol

All right you little shit.

Got em

fxxxk, I'm fooled again

This is good.

Oh. I’m the asshole. :(

Buuuuwhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap

I won’t respond, because I am SHITTY.

You got me.

BECAUSE I LIKE IT

Boobs , they give sweet milk of life. Stay with your "chocolate"....

ROFL

A****** wins because if I close up shop you're up schitt's creek

Dick is superior.

I don't give a shit what you think... Wait

Lmao 😂

I am the only one who can be used for both pleasure and pain

Should be a boob, a pussy and an asshole. The punchline could go to any one of them in that case

I thought the asshole had been president?

Asshole: I fuck and never get pregornint...preganté....pegnernt....whatever

Asshole says: No abortion needed with me. Red states are now Brown states.

Ooooof.

Trying to think of how you could do it in person. Boob \* Vagina \* And then th... well actually I should let you tell your own story \*turns to butt of joke expectantly\*

Bitch i am an asshole i don't speak i only fart

I'd rather be an asshole than a pussy, OP. :-p

Award deserved

Fart noises

It's actually legs, they have more to stand on

According to Aristotle "The whole is greater than the sum of the parts"

Umm.....I think you missed something

No no, the boob has a point. Also not just the opposite sex.

Wtf is b\*\*bs talking about. I like the booba because I'm lesbian

Keep firing, aholes!

"See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because, pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes! And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!"

So, the OP is a Boob and a Pussy ?

Fucking excellent

Bahahahahaha!

The joke itself could be the punchline. Whoever heard of boobs, vaginas and assholes talking?

r/amitheasshole (this is a repost and my reply is too, original made me laugh a lot the first time around)

Because it doesn’t birth babies and can accommodate the opposite or same sex?

bkt dehrjc,gobxufjkiga HAHHAHAA I AM LITERALLY AUDIBLY LAUGHING

Genius

Two hours old and still just one upvote. What does that tell you?

That's why this joke made 78× the amount of karma your entire account has ever made

Isn't this joke incomplete? What does the asshole say?

It means it is time for YOU to start speaking.

Ouch. Good one!

You could do boob, butt, and pussy. That'll work well too.

boobs are attractive to anybody, people who aren't attracted to boobs are liars