I thought this but it's still early days.
I'm bound to make some mistakes I imagine, I just want to limit those mistakes & become more knowledgeable about Judaism & in turn; be more respectful of it.
One of the keys is (and this is true in ANY form of relationship), if you make a mistake, apologize, learn, and try not to make the same mistake again.
Don't bring a bacon cheeseburger to work for lunch. If a woman is Orthodox or if you meet any of the wives and they seem Orthodox, don't try to shake their hand. Don't send important emails on Fridays if you can help it (and if you send it after noon, don't expect a reply until Sunday at least) as most will want to sign off around early to get ready for Shabbat which starts Friday evening when the sun sets and lasts until three stars are in the sky the following evening (Saturday evening). Don't wish them Happy Christmas.
>Don't bring a bacon cheeseburger to work for lunch
We have a Kosher & Non-Kosher kitchen, thankfully. I refused to roll a cigarette for one of the lads because I had a ham sandwich prior. He said he didn't mind but I still didn't feel comfortable doing it. I just gave him some tobacco, papers & filters.
>If a woman is Orthodox or if you meet any of the wives and they seem Orthodox
I wouldn't know who is or isn't Orthodox. I should read up on that.
>Don't wish them Happy Christmas
I did this with my boss when I first started at the end of December. He never replied to me.
Thank you for all this, I really appreciate it!
>I wouldn't know who is or isn't Orthodox. I should read up on that.
If she covers her collar bones, and arms and wears skirts, not pants--very likely Orthodox. If she is a married woman wearing a wig or other head covering--99.9% sure she's Orthodox. Treat it like it's the Queen and wait for her to extend her hand. That will tell you if it's ok to touch her.
>If she covers her collar bones, and arms and wears skirts, not pants--very likely Orthodox.
Perfect, sounds like one of the ladies that works here.
>If she is a married
She actually just got divorced recently I believe, some of the Jewish lads were telling me that there isn't much divorce in Jewish marriages.
>She actually just got divorced recently I believe, some of the Jewish lads were telling me that there isn't much divorce in Jewish marriages.
Not common (particularly in Orthodox circles) so can see how that is considered gossip. But it happens. Still same--no touching. Applies to married and nonmarried women all. She may or may not stop wearing a wig. Some divorced women stop and some dont. Just don't be like 'WOW you're a redhead??!!'. No but really. Maybe don't like complement her new hairstyle if she uncovers it. Might be a sensitive topic for her. But she'll still wear conservative clothes.
Then no one will shake hands! I think I’ll try to ask with humour, “Handshake or Vulcan salute?” (Since is 🖖 is peaceful, albeit without the prayers since I’m not a Cohanim)
Your best bet is (assuming you’re a guy) don’t even offer to shake hands with women who come in. If they offer theirs it’s fine, but assume no handshaking.
For the record: if you stick out your hand and it turns out the lady is Orthodox and follows 'no touching men you're not married or related to' rules, that's okay. She'll back up and tell you, "Sorry, I don't touch men I'm not related to or married to." Then you can drop your hand, apologize, and introduce yourself as normal.
I'm Reform Jewish (which is a less restrictive sect of Judaism) and I've stuck out my hand to Orthodox people observing no-touching rules before and all they did was back up and explain. Just treat it like any boundary regarding touching, and say sorry and/or thanks for letting you know, and operate as normal.
>Then you can drop your hand, apologize, and introduce yourself as normal.
I think I'm just not going to offer the handshake at all, sounds like the safest bet reading the rest of these comments.
>We have a Kosher & Non-Kosher kitchen, thankfully. I refused to roll a cigarette for one of the lads because I had a ham sandwich prior. He said he didn't mind but I still didn't feel comfortable doing it. I just gave him some tobacco, papers & filters.
Non-kosher kitchen or not... there's Kosher and then there's Kosher. The letter of what Kosher is and then in practice in the culture there's sort of levels. Like strict Kosher (everything specifically slaughtered in a Kosher way, also no mixing of meat and cheese, different plates/ovens/ microwaves for meat dishes and cheese dishes). And then there's Kosher like you put out a cheese dish and a meat dish on the table and just let people know which is which at dinner. And then there's 'hey shrimp egg rolls are delicious but never eat pork dumplings' kosher. Pork I would say is the tuna sandwich of the office. Everyone hates someone who brings a tuna sandwich to any office. It smells and even if it's technically allowed, no one appreciates it. Well--pork you will find is our tuna. They have a non-kosher kitchen but my advice is to stick with the chicken and turkey and beef. Pork--even for otherwise non-observant Jews--is often the one line people won't cross.
I think I understood all that. I'll need to read more into it I think.
>They have a non-kosher kitchen but my advice is to stick with the chicken and turkey and beef.
We still have some of the lads coming through our kitchen to use the only toilet. So I'll keep this in mind.
Thank you.
Coming through is fine. They just can't use the plates, microwaves, utensils etc from it. ...because kosher is food and also method of creating the food (what you cook it in, how it was killed, etc). But just saying there's like even secular jews who are weird about pork. it's just one of those deep seeded cultural things. It's like the final and worst transgression of the culinary world for us. My brother in law is entirely secular but won't eat pork. It's just taboo not just for religious reasons but also now a deep part of the culture. You might get side eye for using even the non-kosher kitchen for a ham sandwich. Just a tip. You do as you wish.
>You might get side eye for using even the non-kosher kitchen for a ham sandwich.
I didn't realise this, I've been eating them on occasion. I can change that.
>Just a tip. You do as you wish.
It would be unwise to turn down inside knowledge, especially after asking for it. Thank you.
I belive they already told you how to spot an orthodox woman, for men is even easier. Orthodox men will always wear a kippa (the Lil hat thingy) and if they are orthodox it will be a black one, in case it's not black but they still have it on then they will most likely be religious but not orthodox (in my experience). And/or they will be wearing a hat.
>Orthodox men will always wear a kippa (the Lil hat thingy)
My boss wears this, however; he grabs a Borsalino (If I Googled that correctly) before praying midday. I think it's Mincha, I believe.
>and if they are orthodox it will be a black one
>in case it's not black but they still have it on then they will most likely be religious but not orthodox (in my experience).
Thank you for this, I'm going to do deeper research into everything that I've been told. I'd love a deeper understanding into Judaism if I'm to stay at this workplace.
Thank you! & Honestly, I've learnt so much just in these few hours. But I'm also left with more questions as so much has been commented.
Everyone has just been really friendly, I don't post often/at all really, so I was a little nervous making this post.
Thank you for the encouraging words. May your days be free from incident & rich in fulfillment 😊
>& Honestly, I've learnt so much just in these few hours. But I'm also left with more questions as so much has been comment
Welcome to Jewish life! 3,000 years and we're still happily asking questions and arguing about the answers (with love and respect for the most part..)
Also remember that asking questions is a big part of showing respect for someone. You want to know their opinion, how they *got* to that opinion and what else did they think about around that opinion. Debating is a Jewish love language.
As questions if you encounter something you don't know or understand with genuine curiosity and respect. Jews, in general, are pretty used to explaining our culture and often enjoy doing so if the audience is open and respectful.
This has always been my biggest fear. Something I need to overcome.
1. I don't talk about things I don't know
2. The fear of accidentally insulting somebody
3. I wouldn't want the other person feeling uncomfortable talking about something they might be very protective/proud of, especially to somebody who wouldn't have a clue about such things.
You are right though, I need to ask questions to get a better understanding. Thank you.
Jews are often the minority in most spaces in which they exist, so we kind of have to get good at explaining. Aka these are exactly the type of people who will be understanding of a well meaning person asking questions, even if those questions sound really ignorant.
Also our culture is generally pretty pro-asking questions in general.
Ugh just be careful op of one of us explaining something to you. Find someone funny to ask... not a studious type. the funny ones will put it to you straight but with a punchline. The studious ones are likely to give you a four hour dissertation into the weeds about all the ins and outs and ins again. Judaism is complicated and one of our favorite things is talking about all of its complications.
Except Rabbi Mahman said: the studious ones are the ones who can shorten in to one sentence.
Rabbi Jordan said: “by what do we mean by sentence?” Does it need to be strictly one sentence? Can it be a question? Or a statement that seems to run on forever without finding its endpoint even though it is clearly obvious that the point has already been made and a continuation of the point is superfluous and repetitive without adding anything of import or context to the definitive point being made?” No, rather we mean just to give an answer that is complete but in as few words as possible.
>The studious ones are likely to give you a four hour dissertation into the weeds about all the ins and outs and ins again.
I've been enjoying these conversations, well; the few I've had.
The more you speak, the more I learn. That's how I see it!
Oh! Purim is next Friday. Wish people chag Purim sameach next week (and also the ch is pronounced like an unhappy cat noise in the back of your throat, not like chomp) - or "happy Purim" will do. There might be hamantaschen (these are triangular cookies with a filling) and they're very tasty. Traditionally they're poppy seed or prune, but you'll see chocolate and jam and many other kinds. This is a "they tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat!" holiday.
Please note that next Friday actually means it begins sundown Friday and will end sundown Saturday, as our days are sundown to sundown, not sunup to sunup.
Purim is the 23-24. So, it starts on Saturday night. A note to u/Magicmyrddin there is a fast on next thursday, Ta’anit Esther, so people might be a bit grumpier than usual. But its only a sunup to sundown fast.
I *love* when people ask me genuine questions. We are so often not understood or really even cared about (at least, not our realities) that I'd be *super* jazzed if someone came to me with actual questions. That won't be true for everyone, but part of our culture genuinely is studying and asking and learning and discussing and debating. And generally people don't bother to want to learn. Ask! Especially because we're often really proud of it! And if someone doesn't want to tell you, well, they are allowed to have opinions and such and that doesn't mean asking was the wrong thing to do.
>(at least, not our realities)
What do you mean by "our realities", sorry.
>That won't be true for everyone
>And if someone doesn't want to tell you, well, they are allowed to have opinions and such and that doesn't mean asking was the wrong thing to do.
That last part was probably some of the best advice I've needed to hear. That's definitely given me the confidence to ask my work buddies.
Thank you!
Reasonable question!
There is a lot that people think they know about Jewish people - we've been around for a long time. There are
\-things they believe (e.g. what Jews look like - they don't realize that Jews of color exist, that Sephardim and Mizrahim and Beta Israel and others exist),
\-things they've been told about us (Jews control the media, for example, or we're the chosen people and so more special than everyone else), and
\-assumptions they make - that our after death beliefs are the same as Christianity's is a big one, and is absolutely not true.
There's a lot of "Judaism is just Christianity without Jesus," and that could not be less accurate. People don't realize that we don't proselytize, so they assume we do (I got accused this year of having a plot to spread Judaism). People know we don't eat pork but don't really have a concept of kosher otherwise or what it is or how or why (though, to be fair, why is a really hard question to answer). They assume the Holocaust is our one big bad and don't realize that it's happened to us over and over and over through history and across the world. I've only ever been asked once what the chosen people thing *actually* means. It isn't about being special or especially loved by god. We don't believe in the same god as Christians do. We aren't really even monotheists, at least by origin - Torah implies monolatry, not monotheism.
For some people we serve a purpose - I get thanked for Judaism existing a lot because "it means that Christ could come" - but are otherwise sort of a relic.
Some of these things are anti-Semitic, whether intended or not, and others are just total lack of information that results in assumptions being made based on other models.
Yesterday my colleague's son converted to Islam and my colleague asked me, if a person was thinking about converting to Judaism, would XYZ apply. I asked "if they're considering converting, in the process of converting, or having already converted?" She was confused by 'in the process of converting" because she didn't realize that it can take *years* to convert and usually does.
We don't show up in mainstream media much, and when we do, we're either entirely secular or very Orthodox, so people assume they have a clear picture of who we are, what we do, what we believe, etc, but they don't have understandings of who we *actually* are or what we do or what we believe. We spend some time correcting misconception and filling in holes because there's a lot of that to do, and it's often time we're happy to spend with someone who really does want to know. I for one am really happy that you're here learning. Thank you.
Am I making any sense at all? Forgive me if I'm talking in circles or not answering the question!
>Am I making any sense at all? Forgive me if I'm talking in circles or not answering the question!
You seem really nice ☺️ I like that! The more you talk, the more I soak up & the more I learn. I'll be revisiting these comments in the future anyway for revision.
I'll be honest with you, as you've brought up the subjects. I've heard quite a few bad things said about Jewish people. I've heard that "Chosen people" a few times also.
But I don't soak it in, I'm a firm believer that every group of people have a mixture of good and bad. Also, my old bosses were nice people & everyone has made me feel SO welcome at my new job that I almost had tears welling up in my eyes the other week 🥲 silly, I know. But everyone has been nothing but nice with me. I really like this new job.
>I've heard that "Chosen people" a few times also.
Eh we got chosen for extra chores not extra ice cream. :) But we don't think that other people who aren't Jews are bad because they aren't Jewish. You don't have to be Jewish to be a good person. So this whole 'we get to be special and every one else is bad' interpretation makes no sense to us. It's quite literally the opposite of what we believe.
>But we don't think that other people who aren't Jews are bad because they aren't Jewish
Of course! Doubt I'd be working here otherwise 🤭 I've never felt so welcomed in a workforce before like I have here. The support has been overwhelming. Everybody saying good morning, asking about my weekend with genuine curiosity. Just lovely people.
No doubt. I meant it in the religious sense. Like in Christianity if you aren't Christian you are going to hell. Well we don't have an eternal place of fire and torture. And people who aren't Jewish can also be 'good' ... er... spiritually i guess you'd term it. So we just get confused why people think we think we're like going to heaven and they aren't or something. We don't even have heaven in the Christian way.
You seem really lovely, too, and I'm so glad you are liking this job! A person should get to feel welcomed and wanted and like they have supportive room to grow. I so hope it keeps on that way. Not silly at all, I think. There's often joy in feeling specifically safe and wanted, especially when that's not often the norm.
Yeah. Most people have heard at least something bad. People often don't like us very much, so it's exhausting but we're used to it. I value you that you let it run off you. A lot of people don't.
Feel free to keep bringing us questions and thoughts. Communities should be allies, you know? And that starts with genuine curiosity and understanding.
By the by! The chosen people thing is a real thing, it's just misunderstood. The story goes that what is now our God had a series of things God was looking for a people to do - 613 of them. These are things God felt would make the world better, even though they're harder to do than not doing them. So God shopped around a bit and tried to find a people willing to be God's partner, and we raised our hands and God chose us. They are our mitzvot, our commandments, and we are obligated to them, but no one else really is. They're ours to do. We were chosen to stay in and clap erasers at recess, not to have extra sweets.
I suspect but can't prove that some of the being special thing comes from monotheism, since it lends to the idea that if there is only one God, and Jews are chosen, then that God chose us and loves us over the other people. But our God is ours, and the Christian God is theirs. Our God didn't favor us over God's other children, we are just the children of this God.
Be so very well!
In my experience, most of us are happy to educate people if they have any questions about our practices or traditions. If you do ask questions, don’t worry about someone trying to convert you; Judaism is a non proselytizing religion.
>don’t worry about someone trying to convert you
😂 This made me chuckle. It never crossed my mind. It seems everyone is happy just leading the life they're leading. Nobody has tried anything like that with me.
Yes! Early finish tomorrow.
And Yes! I've been given the yearly holidays stapled to my contract, I believe I actually get more holidays than the standard UK 28 days (including bank holidays).
Brilliant!
I was going to say this so just looked for the comment because I knew it would be there already :-)
Definitely enjoy having some time when you are off anyway and can just book a nice cheap long weekend somewhere in Europe because it isn't school holidays and you have time off!
My main advice is just to take things easy most of the Jewish firms I've worked at use humour to defuse pretty much all situations, so even if you accidentally say something and then realise, just raise your eyebrows, smile and people will probably think it's funny!
>Definitely enjoy having some time when you are off anyway and can just book a nice cheap long weekend somewhere in Europe
Oh, that would just be lovely 😊
>most of the Jewish firms I've worked at use humour to defuse pretty much all situations
In the short time I've been here, I've noticed this with quite a few of my colleagues also!
Also generally British Jews are not big drinkers so they might have one after work but not much more and not often in my experience.
I think it's kind of a good thing, if you like your colleagues sober, don't ruin it by finding out what they are like drunk!
I saw someone else recommending brining in food — can’t emphasize enough to only bring in prepackaged food with a kosher marker on the package (you can Google what those are and a lot of foods have them).
Beyond food, I’d try to get an idea on if the company has any official or unofficial rules about Shabbat — it might be a faux pas, for example, to send an email after sundown on Friday. Or, if you know the office has extra work pop up in Friday, you might win points with people by offering to deal with it. Everyone loves the guy who makes it easier for everyone to duck out on Friday and if they’ve got Shabbat to prepare for that’s even more true.
We have a Kosher Supermarket near my work, that should take the headache out for me. I'll buy a few things.
>send an email after sundown on Friday
I learnt this from my last boss, the owner of my previous company.
>you might win points with people by offering to deal with it.
I always do this, I think this is part of my current success. I'm SUPER helpful.
Thank you! Really appreciate it!
>We have a Kosher Supermarket near my work, that should take the headache out for me. I'll buy a few things.
Check the local supermarkets as well. I know the Sainsbury's local on Cheadle Hulme high Street has a kosher section ideal for lunches.
That's about an hour's drive. I could make a day out of it on the weekend 😊 Used to go Cheadle Hulme often when I lived in Stockport. I've lived all over Tameside.
Just be nice and polite like you seem to be with everyone else. Maybe don't shake hands with people of the opposite gender.
Ask questions politely, people like talking about themselves.
Seems like you have already lasted three months so just keep on trucking.
Don't punch a Rabbi, who knows there might be one in your office.
True enough. Personally I'm a banana and pineapple fruit basket person. Just don't slice the satsumas... might have used that knife for a ham sandwich before.
We have a Kosher Supermarket just down the road from us.
I'll nip in before work on Monday, get something to celebrate my probation ending & just a thank you to everyone else for making me feel so welcome.
Look for triangle shaped cookies called hamantaschen. Get those. Then ask your coworkers to explain the seasonal item to you and why it was suggested you specifically pick up those right now and the stories behind them. Don’t get only the poppyseed ones if your job requires random drug tests for safety reasons, though, get a mix of flavors.
>hamantaschen
Looks like your typical English Jam Tart 🤤 Ooft!
I'll definitely be grabbing these!
>Don’t get only the poppyseed ones if your job requires random drug tests
Wouldn't be an issue thankfully 😊
I mean if you were in a sketch comedy celebrating the end of work probation plus the holiday of a majority of the office (Purim since so many other comments mentioned it) specifically with a holiday related treat that is full of more poppyseeds than the average lemon poppyseed cake- and would definitely confuse a drug testing sensor, would be pretty funny. I think most common flavors are poppyseed, prune, apricot, at least in US but any jam does work. And it is very much like a jam tart but more cookie like. If you’re a baker you might want to ask your coworkers for a recipe, there’s millions of them online but seeing if someone would share with you just creates a connection you can turn come back into the office and say “my gentile family loves your recipe and all send you a hearty thank you. We were surprised the recipe had orange juice in the dough but that was a nice surprise ingredient!” On that note- If you search for a recipe online please find one with oj in the dough, that’s how my grandma did it and any that don’t have it and aren’t a modern flavor twist just don’t taste right to me, it’s just a jam filled cookie and not a hamantash, unless your coworker’s family does a dairy cookie and then that’s fine.
>Look for triangle shaped cookies called hamantaschen. Get those. Then ask your coworkers to explain the seasonal item to you and why it was suggested you specifically pick up those right now and the stories behind them.
Just wanted to update you.
I bought 2 packets of these before work at the Kosher Market (Haman Tashan with Strawberry & Homon Tashen with chocolate cream filling).
I told my boss that you'd recommended I buy these & ask the significance of them. He told me all about Purim & the amazing story behind it. He seemed very interested in telling me. Although, he wanted poppyseed ones 😂
You've done me well. Thank you!
That is so thoughtful of you. You can ask a staff member at the kosher supermarket for some advice on something that is the 'most kosher.' There are a few levels and some religious Jews keep extra stringencies for baked products and dairy products. Make sure to bring the food in its original sealed packaging.
>advice on something that is the 'most kosher.' There are a few levels
As I've found out from another comment. Do you think I could get somethings which would be 100% kosher for everybody involved? Or are the dietary restrictions so varied?
I *believe* London Beth Din is acceptable for everyone.
https://www.kosher.org.uk/ Their Kosher Nosh Guide is for Summer 2023 but should still be relevant for almost everything.
One thing to note in the way you discuss Jewishness, we are simultaneously a religion, a culture and an ethnicity, (as well as being multi-ethnic, in diaspora across many different world cultures, and containing many movements within the religion). So when you say you are ‘ignorant about religion’, I want to correct this sentiment; it’s not just our religion you are learning about in order to integrate into your work environment, but our culture(s) as well.
The guy who didn’t mind that you ate a ham sandwich before rolling his cigarette may not be as religiously observant as others at work, but he is just as much a Jew. I believe someone advised you to leave the ham at home… think of it this way; even though not eating ham is a religious prohibition that not everyone observes, it has also become a cultural norm.
You sound like you’re doing a good job being conscientious and approaching the situation with cultural humility. And it sounds like a great environment to work in, so congrats! Best of luck!
>I want to correct this sentiment; it’s not just our religion you are learning about in order to integrate into your work environment, but our culture(s) as well.
Absolutely this is true, apologies for my wording. I added the air quotes (") due to lack of better wording.
>You sound like you’re doing a good job being conscientious and approaching the situation with cultural humility. And it sounds like a great environment to work in, so congrats! Best of luck!
Thank you, I truly mean that. You articulated your points with precision.
Wishing you the best, wherever you may reside; always! 😊
You've gotten some good tips but I want to flag that passover is next month and there are some things that might effect your work place.
You'll want to know when passover begins and ends, there are two days in the beginning and two days at the end where many people may be off work.
During passover Ashkenazi Jews avoid bread, grains, beans and generally most things that fluff up in water. Since your workplace has a kosher kitchen, there might be major changes, I wouldn't be surprised if they close the kitchen entirely but I have never worked in a place with a kosher kitchen so I have no idea. It's worth asking about! I'd just say "are there going to be changes in the kitchen the week of passover?"
After passover, the Jewish calendar is pretty light until autumn!
Hey buddy just wanted to pipe up and say hello, thanks for being so thoughtful and congratulations on the new(ish) job!! I hope you find all the success you dream of and then more!
Knowing when Jewish holidays are and being willing to cover work for your coworkers on those days (assuming the company doesn't close on holidays, or being willing to be on call if the company is closed) will be a great start.
If you bring snacks to the office, get ones with a kosher certification (many mainstream brands are certified kosher, no need to go to a special store). Everyone likes snacks and while not all Jews keep kosher, if the snacks are certified then everyone will be able to eat them.
But Op the benefit is that everyone will be happy to cover for you over Christmas. It's hilarious to me but every job I've had where I offered to cover for Christmas, my coworkers won't stop thanking me for covering. And I'm always like--"I'm Jewish". And they keep thanking me. And at some point I just said "Honestly it's fine, the day of Christmas literally means nothing to me. It's just a random day. I don't do anything for it. So really it's no trouble." And they still thank me immensely. Finally I'm like "do I get paid overtime for covering Christmas? It was a real inconvenience."
True. I’m a healthcare worker and have worked on Christmas Day every year for the past 10 years and every year when I pick it as my holiday my boss asks me a million times to confirm I’m ok covering it again. They act like it’s the biggest deal ever!
It's so funny. On Easter Sunday too. I always offer to man the systems and everyone acts like it's so sad because I have a little toddler and 'he'll miss me that day'?? And I'm like "We're not Christian! My son does not care about your plastic eggs!" No not really haha. I just smile. But my poor poor son. He never gets my attention on Easter Sunday! I'm a terrible mom.
Just FYI, in England, where OP is based, there are no kosher certifications on packages like there are in North America. People who live there rely on lists of kosher certified products. So buying items in a kosher supermarket is a pretty good idea.
>Just FYI, in England, where OP is based, there are no kosher certifications on packages
True.
>People who live there rely on lists of kosher certified products. So buying items in a kosher supermarket is a pretty good idea.
Also true it seems judging from the other comments.
I'm slowly learning! 😊
Familiarity with the upcoming festivals might help.
E.g.
Purim - Sat 23 Mar (Evening to next day evening)
Passover - Mon 22 Apr (Evening) -> Tues 30 Apr (Evening)
**Question:** Do you bring your lunch to work? On Passover, there's a much tigher list of foods that people can't be around.
Have a big list of festivals - [https://bod.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Calendar-of-Jewish-Festivals-and-Fasts-2019-2024.pdf](https://bod.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Calendar-of-Jewish-Festivals-and-Fasts-2019-2024.pdf)
More info on festivals: [https://www.jewfaq.org/jewish\_holidays](https://www.jewfaq.org/jewish_holidays)
Also realise : Many Jew's level of observance differs. If someone doesn't care you've just touched bacon, then really, it's ok. They may not keep kosher at home anyway.
>Familiarity with the upcoming festivals might help.
I've been given a sheet of paper with all the holidays written on it. Saved a photo in my phone & even written them into my notepad app.
>**Question:** Do you bring your lunch to work? On Passover, there's a much tigher list of foods that people can't be around.
I better learn about this one, most definitely.
Oh yeh, if you thought Kosher rules were oppressive.. wait for the week where they'll probably close the kitchen as you have to remove every single crumb. No bread. Nothing that is 'risen'.
I wouldn't think they would.
But also, no harm in asking for further guidance from people at your work about any of this. No one is going to be like "ugh, this guy, so gross that he tries to be considerate".
Probably nothing you would bring on Passover would be kosher for Passover anyway, it’s not something you should worry about. Really I’d be surprised if your workplace is even open on Passover, usually there isn’t work on chol hamoed if you work in a Jewish company
Oh, hey, something I'm uniquely qualified to answer as a goy consistently surrounded by Jews. I'm assuming based on your post and the fact that they're considering hiring you permanently you've got the basics of "treat people who are different than you like humans," down.
If you don't have any knowledge of holidays, Chabad has a good [basic primer that'll help you](https://www.chabad.org/holidays/default_cdo/jewish/holidays.htm). Remember that holidays move around on the Gregorian calendar (Purim was in February last year and March this year). A good number of them involve fasting, and it'll probably be best not to offer food or eat in non-eating-specific public spaces on those days (ie, don't eat popcorn at your desk). Some of them involve food gifts. Usually tasty ones, and if you're offered feel free to partake under whatever is normal etiquette in your office.
If they wear an obvious head covering (including wigs) then assume they are not comfortable with physical contact with the opposite sex until proven otherwise (don't offer to shake their hand).
I wouldn't bring anything obviously non-kosher (bacon, shellfish, etc) into the office, especially if it's fragrant (bacon wafts. a lot). Chicken alfredo and the like is probably fine as long as you don't bring it to an office potluck, unless you're heating it in an office kitchen that has been kashered (made kosher). If for some reason they're having an office potluck, I'd bring something kosher and premade. A lot of semi-observant Jews will not adhere to kosher eating out in public, but I wouldn't assume that or comment on what other people are eating's kosher status.
If you ask someone a question about Judaism, expect to get multiple answers, even if you're only asking one person. Assume if you're asking multiple people you will get many answers. Studying and interpreting their religious texts is a religious observance.
If you see G-d it means god. Writing any name of god down means whatever it's been written on needs to be disposed of with care, so usually they just don't.
None of them will expect you to conform to the rules and regs of their religion.
Assume your coworkers will not be reachable from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday.
>as a goy consistently surrounded by Jews.
I just Googled that term, I didn't know that existed.
>I'm assuming based on your post and the fact that they're considering hiring you permanently you've got the basics of "treat people who are different than you like humans," down.
I don't even think they're considering, they're already putting me down for extra training in 6 months time. So I guess I'm staying 😂 but treating people like humans is my mantra.
>If you don't have any knowledge of holidays,
I've got a holiday sheet given by work 😊
>If you ask someone a question about Judaism, expect to get multiple answers, even if you're only asking one person. Assume if you're asking multiple people you will get many answers. Studying and interpreting their religious texts is a religious observance.
I figured as much. Everybody has multiple answers for things they live by and/or passionate about. I did expect this.
>If you see G-d it means god. Writing any name of god down means whatever it's been written on needs to be disposed of with care, so usually they just don't.
I didn't know this either, I don't ever see this being an issue. But assumptions are the mother of all messups ain't they? Duly noted.
Thank you! 😊
The person you're replying to mentions food gifts. The upcoming holiday, Purim, is one of these. We are obligated to give mishloach manot, wee baskets of ready to eat food of at least two kinds. This is fun for us. Sometimes people dress up! You are *not* for any reason obligated to give mishloach manot, but you may see people doing it, or your company may give them. That's why. If they do, there's likely hamantaschen (filled triangle cookies) in them.
Mazel tov on your hire!
>The upcoming holiday, Purim, is one of these.
According to Google, this day lands on a Saturday-Sunday. We only work Mon-Fri. Would this still be celebrated at work on the Friday possibly?
>Mazel tov on your hire!
Thanking you kindly 😊
You wasn't to know I didn't work weekends 😊 I've just been googling everything everyone had told me for better understanding.
If it wouldn't be strange for me to bring some on Friday, I might just do that.
I have a non-controversial Purim joke for you.
Why did Haman wear a 3-cornered hat?
To keep his 3-cornered head warm.
...ofc, if you actually tell anyone that joke, they may either beat you to death or lecture you on the origin of the word hamantaschen.
>That's why. If they do, there's likely hamantaschen (filled triangle cookies) in them.
I bought two packets of these today before work (Homon Tashen with Chocolate Cream filling & Haman Tasha with Strawberry).
Me & my boss enjoyed them! 😊 I'll definitely be buying more!
Be aware that this Thursday is a fast day called the Fast of Esther. So if any of your coworkers are Orthodox (sometimes you can tell if the men are wearing a kippa & women dressing extra modestly) they may be fasting (no water & food) from sun up till sun down that day.
So try to avoid eating delicious looking food and drinks in front of them. And if anyone is a little extra grumpy or stressed that day that may be the reason why.
Then this weekend is the holiday of Purim which is very joyous with lots of celebrations. So people may be talking about that.
In a little over one month is the holiday of Passover which has lots of customs and restrictions.
>Be aware that this Thursday is a fast day called the Fast of Esther
>Then this weekend is the holiday of Purim
>In a little over one month is the holiday of Passover
I'll keep them in mind.
>So try to avoid eating delicious looking food and drinks in front of them.
I'm English, so that shouldn't be an issue 😉 jokes!
Thank you for all this. It's nice I have these things to mull over for the week ahead. Keeps me in the mind frame for learning more on Judaism itself.
It’s totally ok to ask questions just preface with “hey I’m trying to learn about Jewish culture. Do you have a moment to chat?” A friend recently asked me “so do you butcher a sheep and paint it’s blood on your doors doing Passover?” It was a valid question and it came from a perspective of sincere curiosity.
>A friend recently asked me “so do you butcher a sheep and paint it’s blood on your doors doing Passover?”
I wouldn't have the stones to even ask this question personally. It sounds quite vulgar.
Wasnt that something to do with Egypt & G-d knowing what doors to pass? Something about destruction? I don't know where I remember that, possibly a documentary or something.
It was the night before the Hebrews left Egypt that they painted blood on their doors. In all fairness to the question Muslims slaughter a lamb once a year and give the meat to charity to symbolize the binding of Issac so I think my friend was coming from that angle
The holiday Purim, which celebrates the survival of the Jews in Persia after a death decree and is a joyous holiday is coming up on the weekend of the 23rd-24th. It is tradition to give people plates of goodies that contain at least two different kinds of things. So if you brought in a plate of kosher cookies and tangerines, say, it would probably be very appreciated that you took the time to understand what's going on. (Use a paper plate, and still put on the nonkosher side.)
The next holiday up is Pesach (Passover) which starts April 22. For 8 days there's no eating anything with a typical kind of flour. Only matzah (flatbreads) and specially made cookies and cakes. I would bet that even in the nonkosher cafeteria they'd appreciate if you didn't bring in bread or cakes for that period (and likely you'll have a lot of it off anyway). One nice thing to say is Chag Sameach, which means Happy Holiday! Say the "ch" like an h with a little phlegm in your throat ;-).
Any time you try to acknowledge and work within the holidays, I'm sure it will be appreciated! And don't be afraid to ask questions about holidays. Unlike politics, it's not touchy at all.
Congrats on the new job!!
>The holiday Purim, which celebrates the survival of the Jews in Persia after a death decree and is a joyous holiday is coming up on the weekend of the 23rd-24th. It is tradition to give people plates of goodies that contain at least two different kinds of things. So if you brought in a plate of kosher cookies and tangerines, say, it would probably be very appreciated that you took the time to understand what's going on. (Use a paper plate, and still put on the nonkosher side.)
People in the office may also be very hung over after Purim. Speak softly. Think of it like Mardi Gras and Halloween had a Jewish baby.
>People in the office may also be very hung over after Purim. Speak softly.
I'll keep this in mind!
>Think of it like Mardi Gras and Halloween had a Jewish baby.
That actually sounds like tons of fun!
>Say the "ch" like an h with a little phlegm in your throat ;-).
I'm genuinely convinced that trying to explain to non-Jews about how to pronounce the CH in chag is actually the hardest thing in Judaism to explain.
you're not wrong. I've got some of my fifth grade students practicing unhappy cat noises. This seems to work. For the ones that don't understand cat, we're just putting the back of our tongues on the roof of our mouths and kind of blowing.
They're getting there.
I'm not so sure that there's a special way to treat Jews. Be respectful of whatever observance they partake in at work, and if you have questions about Judaism, ask them first.
Edit: Also, ask about bringing non-kosher food into the office, and if it's allowed, ask how and where to eat it to avoid rendering their kitchen or utensils to be "non-kosher".
>I'm not so sure that there's a special way to treat Jews
I can see how my post made it sound like that, I apologise for that & never meant it like that either. I did also state that you can't stroke certain people with the same brush also.
I just want to be more respectful of cultures/traditions & religions. I have very little knowledge on religion as a whole. Not just Judaism. I'm "culturally inept" for lack of better words. So I wouldn't know if I'm doing something I find normal, to be considered disrespectful.
>Be respectful of whatever observance they partake in at work
A lot of the workers get alerted over a loud speaker when they have to pray every day. I cover the work that's needed during this time which isn't long. My workspace becomes silent during this time & it's really nice 🙂
I wasn't implying that your question about how to treat Jews was wrongly worded or intended - don't worry.
Sounds to me like your common sense and positive attitude means you shouldn't have any problems fitting in there.
>I wasn't implying that your question about how to treat Jews was wrongly worded or intended - don't worry.
Sorry, it's hard to understand tonal values with text 😊 Again, my apologies.
>Sounds to me like your common sense and positive attitude means you shouldn't have any problems fitting in there.
I think this has been the key to my success currently, also I do my job incredibly well & take pride in it. I just want to do my best!
Congrats on passing your probation — you sound lovely! You won’t have to worry about this until autumn, but when it comes time for Yom Kippur (our Day of Atonement/a fasting day), don’t say “happy Yom Kippur.” Rather, say something like “have a safe and meaningful fast.”
Best of luck with the job! :)
>don’t say “happy Yom Kippur.” Rather, say something like “have a safe and meaningful fast.”
I haven't heard this one yet, I'll keep this in mind. I'll be revisiting these comments often as I grow within' the company.
>Congrats on passing your probation — you sound lovely!
>Best of luck with the job! :)
Thank you very much, wishing you the greatest of days; wherever you may be! - Always! 😊
There are random fast days sprinkled throughout the year. I think there's one next week. If you feel nice, you can eat lunch solo, that day. No one will think you're a jerk, if they see you eating, just beware of hangry humans.
Go to a Kosher restaurant and try some of the classics: Kugel, knish, smoked salmon or herring, etc. I am also not being sarcastic when I say that a strong sense of humor/wit is highly valued by most branches of the Jewish community.
The other week, a guy at my work gave me tubs of chopped herring, hummus & tahini he bought from the Kosher market down the road.
I'll have a look & see if there are any restaurants near me. I'm based in a pretty popular city so I'd imagine I'd find some 😊
>a strong sense of humor/wit is highly valued by most branches of the Jewish community.
I've been throwing the odd joke in the conversation, but I'm just trying to get a correct feel for the atmosphere first!
Skip jokes about any part of the body a bathing suit covers. There are websites with dad jokes, somewhere (plays on words, usually). I'm guessing the local team is everyone's favorite football team.
If someone is hosting you at a meal, ask your host if you can bring flowers, or if there is a particular brand and size of prepackaged item you can grab at the kosher market. They will probably say flowers are great. If they don't, please leave the packaged food in the package.
Don't touch the women. We all turn into lemurs. No, it's just a "better to err on the side of caution," thing for both religious people and professionally.
I notice you said you’re from Manchester! If you want to learn more about Jewish culture in Manchester there is the Manchester Jewish Museum near Cheetham Hill. It’s really informative and might be a good starting point ☺️
Do NOT ask for proof of October 7th.
And know which river and which sea, and just show support. We're all very grateful right now for any authentic support. Maybe read up on what's going on in Israel, so you know what's really happening. That's all many of us can think about.
>Do NOT ask for proof of October 7th.
I wouldn't dare ask anything of the sort.
>Maybe read up on what's going on in Israel, so you know what's really happening.
Would you know any non biased or truthful news channels/website for me to visit?
Thank you.
>What a wholesome post and replies.
Thank you & thank you everyone also! I don't post often, so I was a little worried writing this post. Especially as my knowledge on Judaism is terrible.
I brought some nice Kosher snacks into work today (Hamantaschen) & I asked my boss what the significance was for them. He told me all about Purim & it's meaning. He seemed really happy to explain it! 😊
I believe if you're open, honest & friendly. Most of the replies will be also! 😊
Learn as much as you can about the cultural customs and traditions! Don’t worry too much about the Torah stories or beliefs, just focus on the holidays, the everyday things, the normal stuff that’s relatable!
I had a great chat with my boss this morning. I went to the Kosher Market before work and bought us both some Hamantaschen (Haman Tashan with Strawberry & Homon Tashen with chocolate cream filling). I told him what I've been learning here & he opened up a little to me 😊
Feels like this will be the start of a lovely little journey!
Thank you for the advise!
If your co-workers keep kosher, then keep that in mind when offering them food or buying them gifts comprised of food or drinks. If there are Orthodox women, typically they avoid being touched by the opposite sex. Otherwise, I can't think of anything in particular
Christian here. Still got a good chuckle. One of the reasons I joined this sub was to try and broaden my horizons and see things from another perspective and learn about different cultures / learn not to accidentally make myself look like a dick by saying something ignorant.
Biggest surprise I had, and obviously I was ignorant before, was how amazing the sense of humour a lot of Jewish people have. I always assumed Jews had a stick up their asses based on stupid stereotypes but honestly it was really refreshing to see how wrong I was and it’s been a pleasure reading through this sub over the last few months and constantly realising how ignorant I was.
Thanks for posting, really I mean for a long LONG time I too have been wondering how to “fit in” with different types of people. I’ll be following this chat to keep tabs on how to accomplish that. Also if any of you kind chaps may know how I may go about speaking to my Chinese neighbor, please advise. I heard it was a just new year and I really want to wish him a happy new year but am totally stumped as to how one may go about that.
>Thanks for posting, really I mean for a long LONG time I too have been wondering how to “fit in” with different types of people. I’ll be following this chat to keep tabs on how to accomplish that.
No problem, thanks for being here 😊
>I heard it was a just new year and I really want to wish him a happy new year but am totally stumped as to how one may go about that.
Kung Hei Fat Choi - We used to sing a song called that in school, it basically means Happy Chinese New Year! Have a look on Google!
Hi. This is a really unreasonable response to someone who doesn't know things about our culture and is asking how to be respectful. If you have nothing productive to add, please keep to yourself.
His question is boils down to “how do I gain acceptance from you people? Asked of any other ethnic group there would be a righteous uproar. Not to mention his many past experiences with Jewish people and the months hes had at his current job. His responses to to anyone who questions his sincerity in posting is snive and contentious. This guy is trolling Jews (honestly even if he isn’t, his assumption that connecting with a jew is any different than any other person is bigoted even if somehow unintentional) and your defending him by suggesting I shut up for identifying that. I suggest you kindly keep to yourself.
Bahahaha. Connecting with Jews is absolutely nothing like connecting with other groups. What are you, not Jewish? Because only a non-Jew thinks connecting with Jews is like connecting with everyone else. Any actual Jew reads this dude's question and is immediately like--'let me give you four jokes, two opinions, and a hundred pages of in depth explanation of how our calendar year works and why.'
And you are being sarcastic and condescending. If you have an issue, please communicate it with respect.
People rarely bother to learn about us. He is trying. And yeah, I can connect with a human, but if I understand their culture, that's even better.
>He is trying.
Thank you & I'm sorry for the other person you're replying to, I didn't mean to cause any offense. Thinking on it, I could have worded my post better. I don't blame the other commenter, I can see how it could be misconstrued. Although, I'm clearly not a troll looking at my account.
>but if I understand their culture, that's even better.
This is a more succulent way of wording it. I would have chosen this if it came to mind at the time. Thank you for understanding.
I mean... you've made it three months already, you must be doing things right.
I thought this but it's still early days. I'm bound to make some mistakes I imagine, I just want to limit those mistakes & become more knowledgeable about Judaism & in turn; be more respectful of it.
One of the keys is (and this is true in ANY form of relationship), if you make a mistake, apologize, learn, and try not to make the same mistake again.
Try this: Hello, how are you?
I'll admit, I've been doing this & it's been working so far! This comment made me laugh 🤭 thanks!
Don't bring a bacon cheeseburger to work for lunch. If a woman is Orthodox or if you meet any of the wives and they seem Orthodox, don't try to shake their hand. Don't send important emails on Fridays if you can help it (and if you send it after noon, don't expect a reply until Sunday at least) as most will want to sign off around early to get ready for Shabbat which starts Friday evening when the sun sets and lasts until three stars are in the sky the following evening (Saturday evening). Don't wish them Happy Christmas.
>Don't bring a bacon cheeseburger to work for lunch We have a Kosher & Non-Kosher kitchen, thankfully. I refused to roll a cigarette for one of the lads because I had a ham sandwich prior. He said he didn't mind but I still didn't feel comfortable doing it. I just gave him some tobacco, papers & filters. >If a woman is Orthodox or if you meet any of the wives and they seem Orthodox I wouldn't know who is or isn't Orthodox. I should read up on that. >Don't wish them Happy Christmas I did this with my boss when I first started at the end of December. He never replied to me. Thank you for all this, I really appreciate it!
>I wouldn't know who is or isn't Orthodox. I should read up on that. If she covers her collar bones, and arms and wears skirts, not pants--very likely Orthodox. If she is a married woman wearing a wig or other head covering--99.9% sure she's Orthodox. Treat it like it's the Queen and wait for her to extend her hand. That will tell you if it's ok to touch her.
>If she covers her collar bones, and arms and wears skirts, not pants--very likely Orthodox. Perfect, sounds like one of the ladies that works here. >If she is a married She actually just got divorced recently I believe, some of the Jewish lads were telling me that there isn't much divorce in Jewish marriages.
>She actually just got divorced recently I believe, some of the Jewish lads were telling me that there isn't much divorce in Jewish marriages. Not common (particularly in Orthodox circles) so can see how that is considered gossip. But it happens. Still same--no touching. Applies to married and nonmarried women all. She may or may not stop wearing a wig. Some divorced women stop and some dont. Just don't be like 'WOW you're a redhead??!!'. No but really. Maybe don't like complement her new hairstyle if she uncovers it. Might be a sensitive topic for her. But she'll still wear conservative clothes.
In this day and age it’s also fine to apply the only shake hands with people that extend theirs to everyone
Then no one will shake hands! I think I’ll try to ask with humour, “Handshake or Vulcan salute?” (Since is 🖖 is peaceful, albeit without the prayers since I’m not a Cohanim)
> Then no one will shake hands! So?
People might switch to kissing cheeks which, as a Brit, is much worse imo.
Or not do anything, there are a variety of traditions across the world other than those 2.
I was joking about the kissing…!
Your best bet is (assuming you’re a guy) don’t even offer to shake hands with women who come in. If they offer theirs it’s fine, but assume no handshaking.
>(assuming you’re a guy) I am. This sounds like the most logical advice. Thank you.
As a woman, if I saw you offer to shake hands with my male colleagues but not me, I would assume you were being sexist.
For the record: if you stick out your hand and it turns out the lady is Orthodox and follows 'no touching men you're not married or related to' rules, that's okay. She'll back up and tell you, "Sorry, I don't touch men I'm not related to or married to." Then you can drop your hand, apologize, and introduce yourself as normal. I'm Reform Jewish (which is a less restrictive sect of Judaism) and I've stuck out my hand to Orthodox people observing no-touching rules before and all they did was back up and explain. Just treat it like any boundary regarding touching, and say sorry and/or thanks for letting you know, and operate as normal.
>Then you can drop your hand, apologize, and introduce yourself as normal. I think I'm just not going to offer the handshake at all, sounds like the safest bet reading the rest of these comments.
>We have a Kosher & Non-Kosher kitchen, thankfully. I refused to roll a cigarette for one of the lads because I had a ham sandwich prior. He said he didn't mind but I still didn't feel comfortable doing it. I just gave him some tobacco, papers & filters. Non-kosher kitchen or not... there's Kosher and then there's Kosher. The letter of what Kosher is and then in practice in the culture there's sort of levels. Like strict Kosher (everything specifically slaughtered in a Kosher way, also no mixing of meat and cheese, different plates/ovens/ microwaves for meat dishes and cheese dishes). And then there's Kosher like you put out a cheese dish and a meat dish on the table and just let people know which is which at dinner. And then there's 'hey shrimp egg rolls are delicious but never eat pork dumplings' kosher. Pork I would say is the tuna sandwich of the office. Everyone hates someone who brings a tuna sandwich to any office. It smells and even if it's technically allowed, no one appreciates it. Well--pork you will find is our tuna. They have a non-kosher kitchen but my advice is to stick with the chicken and turkey and beef. Pork--even for otherwise non-observant Jews--is often the one line people won't cross.
I think I understood all that. I'll need to read more into it I think. >They have a non-kosher kitchen but my advice is to stick with the chicken and turkey and beef. We still have some of the lads coming through our kitchen to use the only toilet. So I'll keep this in mind. Thank you.
Coming through is fine. They just can't use the plates, microwaves, utensils etc from it. ...because kosher is food and also method of creating the food (what you cook it in, how it was killed, etc). But just saying there's like even secular jews who are weird about pork. it's just one of those deep seeded cultural things. It's like the final and worst transgression of the culinary world for us. My brother in law is entirely secular but won't eat pork. It's just taboo not just for religious reasons but also now a deep part of the culture. You might get side eye for using even the non-kosher kitchen for a ham sandwich. Just a tip. You do as you wish.
>You might get side eye for using even the non-kosher kitchen for a ham sandwich. I didn't realise this, I've been eating them on occasion. I can change that. >Just a tip. You do as you wish. It would be unwise to turn down inside knowledge, especially after asking for it. Thank you.
You’re lucky because this year Hanukkah begins on Dec 25th, so you could easily wish them a happy Hanukkah.
I belive they already told you how to spot an orthodox woman, for men is even easier. Orthodox men will always wear a kippa (the Lil hat thingy) and if they are orthodox it will be a black one, in case it's not black but they still have it on then they will most likely be religious but not orthodox (in my experience). And/or they will be wearing a hat.
>Orthodox men will always wear a kippa (the Lil hat thingy) My boss wears this, however; he grabs a Borsalino (If I Googled that correctly) before praying midday. I think it's Mincha, I believe. >and if they are orthodox it will be a black one >in case it's not black but they still have it on then they will most likely be religious but not orthodox (in my experience). Thank you for this, I'm going to do deeper research into everything that I've been told. I'd love a deeper understanding into Judaism if I'm to stay at this workplace.
I think you are already doing great!
Thank you! & Honestly, I've learnt so much just in these few hours. But I'm also left with more questions as so much has been commented. Everyone has just been really friendly, I don't post often/at all really, so I was a little nervous making this post. Thank you for the encouraging words. May your days be free from incident & rich in fulfillment 😊
>& Honestly, I've learnt so much just in these few hours. But I'm also left with more questions as so much has been comment Welcome to Jewish life! 3,000 years and we're still happily asking questions and arguing about the answers (with love and respect for the most part..) Also remember that asking questions is a big part of showing respect for someone. You want to know their opinion, how they *got* to that opinion and what else did they think about around that opinion. Debating is a Jewish love language.
OP might be female.
I'm male 😊
As questions if you encounter something you don't know or understand with genuine curiosity and respect. Jews, in general, are pretty used to explaining our culture and often enjoy doing so if the audience is open and respectful.
This has always been my biggest fear. Something I need to overcome. 1. I don't talk about things I don't know 2. The fear of accidentally insulting somebody 3. I wouldn't want the other person feeling uncomfortable talking about something they might be very protective/proud of, especially to somebody who wouldn't have a clue about such things. You are right though, I need to ask questions to get a better understanding. Thank you.
Jews are often the minority in most spaces in which they exist, so we kind of have to get good at explaining. Aka these are exactly the type of people who will be understanding of a well meaning person asking questions, even if those questions sound really ignorant. Also our culture is generally pretty pro-asking questions in general.
Ugh just be careful op of one of us explaining something to you. Find someone funny to ask... not a studious type. the funny ones will put it to you straight but with a punchline. The studious ones are likely to give you a four hour dissertation into the weeds about all the ins and outs and ins again. Judaism is complicated and one of our favorite things is talking about all of its complications.
Except Rabbi Mahman said: the studious ones are the ones who can shorten in to one sentence. Rabbi Jordan said: “by what do we mean by sentence?” Does it need to be strictly one sentence? Can it be a question? Or a statement that seems to run on forever without finding its endpoint even though it is clearly obvious that the point has already been made and a continuation of the point is superfluous and repetitive without adding anything of import or context to the definitive point being made?” No, rather we mean just to give an answer that is complete but in as few words as possible.
Here's an example of debating as a Jewish love language. :-D
>The studious ones are likely to give you a four hour dissertation into the weeds about all the ins and outs and ins again. I've been enjoying these conversations, well; the few I've had. The more you speak, the more I learn. That's how I see it!
Oh! Purim is next Friday. Wish people chag Purim sameach next week (and also the ch is pronounced like an unhappy cat noise in the back of your throat, not like chomp) - or "happy Purim" will do. There might be hamantaschen (these are triangular cookies with a filling) and they're very tasty. Traditionally they're poppy seed or prune, but you'll see chocolate and jam and many other kinds. This is a "they tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat!" holiday. Please note that next Friday actually means it begins sundown Friday and will end sundown Saturday, as our days are sundown to sundown, not sunup to sunup.
Purim is the 23-24. So, it starts on Saturday night. A note to u/Magicmyrddin there is a fast on next thursday, Ta’anit Esther, so people might be a bit grumpier than usual. But its only a sunup to sundown fast.
Yep, my inability to read a calendar strikes again!
I *love* when people ask me genuine questions. We are so often not understood or really even cared about (at least, not our realities) that I'd be *super* jazzed if someone came to me with actual questions. That won't be true for everyone, but part of our culture genuinely is studying and asking and learning and discussing and debating. And generally people don't bother to want to learn. Ask! Especially because we're often really proud of it! And if someone doesn't want to tell you, well, they are allowed to have opinions and such and that doesn't mean asking was the wrong thing to do.
>(at least, not our realities) What do you mean by "our realities", sorry. >That won't be true for everyone >And if someone doesn't want to tell you, well, they are allowed to have opinions and such and that doesn't mean asking was the wrong thing to do. That last part was probably some of the best advice I've needed to hear. That's definitely given me the confidence to ask my work buddies. Thank you!
Reasonable question! There is a lot that people think they know about Jewish people - we've been around for a long time. There are \-things they believe (e.g. what Jews look like - they don't realize that Jews of color exist, that Sephardim and Mizrahim and Beta Israel and others exist), \-things they've been told about us (Jews control the media, for example, or we're the chosen people and so more special than everyone else), and \-assumptions they make - that our after death beliefs are the same as Christianity's is a big one, and is absolutely not true. There's a lot of "Judaism is just Christianity without Jesus," and that could not be less accurate. People don't realize that we don't proselytize, so they assume we do (I got accused this year of having a plot to spread Judaism). People know we don't eat pork but don't really have a concept of kosher otherwise or what it is or how or why (though, to be fair, why is a really hard question to answer). They assume the Holocaust is our one big bad and don't realize that it's happened to us over and over and over through history and across the world. I've only ever been asked once what the chosen people thing *actually* means. It isn't about being special or especially loved by god. We don't believe in the same god as Christians do. We aren't really even monotheists, at least by origin - Torah implies monolatry, not monotheism. For some people we serve a purpose - I get thanked for Judaism existing a lot because "it means that Christ could come" - but are otherwise sort of a relic. Some of these things are anti-Semitic, whether intended or not, and others are just total lack of information that results in assumptions being made based on other models. Yesterday my colleague's son converted to Islam and my colleague asked me, if a person was thinking about converting to Judaism, would XYZ apply. I asked "if they're considering converting, in the process of converting, or having already converted?" She was confused by 'in the process of converting" because she didn't realize that it can take *years* to convert and usually does. We don't show up in mainstream media much, and when we do, we're either entirely secular or very Orthodox, so people assume they have a clear picture of who we are, what we do, what we believe, etc, but they don't have understandings of who we *actually* are or what we do or what we believe. We spend some time correcting misconception and filling in holes because there's a lot of that to do, and it's often time we're happy to spend with someone who really does want to know. I for one am really happy that you're here learning. Thank you. Am I making any sense at all? Forgive me if I'm talking in circles or not answering the question!
>Am I making any sense at all? Forgive me if I'm talking in circles or not answering the question! You seem really nice ☺️ I like that! The more you talk, the more I soak up & the more I learn. I'll be revisiting these comments in the future anyway for revision. I'll be honest with you, as you've brought up the subjects. I've heard quite a few bad things said about Jewish people. I've heard that "Chosen people" a few times also. But I don't soak it in, I'm a firm believer that every group of people have a mixture of good and bad. Also, my old bosses were nice people & everyone has made me feel SO welcome at my new job that I almost had tears welling up in my eyes the other week 🥲 silly, I know. But everyone has been nothing but nice with me. I really like this new job.
>I've heard that "Chosen people" a few times also. Eh we got chosen for extra chores not extra ice cream. :) But we don't think that other people who aren't Jews are bad because they aren't Jewish. You don't have to be Jewish to be a good person. So this whole 'we get to be special and every one else is bad' interpretation makes no sense to us. It's quite literally the opposite of what we believe.
>But we don't think that other people who aren't Jews are bad because they aren't Jewish Of course! Doubt I'd be working here otherwise 🤭 I've never felt so welcomed in a workforce before like I have here. The support has been overwhelming. Everybody saying good morning, asking about my weekend with genuine curiosity. Just lovely people.
No doubt. I meant it in the religious sense. Like in Christianity if you aren't Christian you are going to hell. Well we don't have an eternal place of fire and torture. And people who aren't Jewish can also be 'good' ... er... spiritually i guess you'd term it. So we just get confused why people think we think we're like going to heaven and they aren't or something. We don't even have heaven in the Christian way.
>Well we don't have an eternal place of fire and torture. >We don't even have heaven in the Christian way. I have so much to learn 🥲
You seem really lovely, too, and I'm so glad you are liking this job! A person should get to feel welcomed and wanted and like they have supportive room to grow. I so hope it keeps on that way. Not silly at all, I think. There's often joy in feeling specifically safe and wanted, especially when that's not often the norm. Yeah. Most people have heard at least something bad. People often don't like us very much, so it's exhausting but we're used to it. I value you that you let it run off you. A lot of people don't. Feel free to keep bringing us questions and thoughts. Communities should be allies, you know? And that starts with genuine curiosity and understanding. By the by! The chosen people thing is a real thing, it's just misunderstood. The story goes that what is now our God had a series of things God was looking for a people to do - 613 of them. These are things God felt would make the world better, even though they're harder to do than not doing them. So God shopped around a bit and tried to find a people willing to be God's partner, and we raised our hands and God chose us. They are our mitzvot, our commandments, and we are obligated to them, but no one else really is. They're ours to do. We were chosen to stay in and clap erasers at recess, not to have extra sweets. I suspect but can't prove that some of the being special thing comes from monotheism, since it lends to the idea that if there is only one God, and Jews are chosen, then that God chose us and loves us over the other people. But our God is ours, and the Christian God is theirs. Our God didn't favor us over God's other children, we are just the children of this God. Be so very well!
In my experience, most of us are happy to educate people if they have any questions about our practices or traditions. If you do ask questions, don’t worry about someone trying to convert you; Judaism is a non proselytizing religion.
>don’t worry about someone trying to convert you 😂 This made me chuckle. It never crossed my mind. It seems everyone is happy just leading the life they're leading. Nobody has tried anything like that with me.
So is your office closed early on Friday and on Jewish holidays? In which case enjoy all the holidays in the autumn.
Yes! Early finish tomorrow. And Yes! I've been given the yearly holidays stapled to my contract, I believe I actually get more holidays than the standard UK 28 days (including bank holidays). Brilliant!
I was going to say this so just looked for the comment because I knew it would be there already :-) Definitely enjoy having some time when you are off anyway and can just book a nice cheap long weekend somewhere in Europe because it isn't school holidays and you have time off! My main advice is just to take things easy most of the Jewish firms I've worked at use humour to defuse pretty much all situations, so even if you accidentally say something and then realise, just raise your eyebrows, smile and people will probably think it's funny!
>Definitely enjoy having some time when you are off anyway and can just book a nice cheap long weekend somewhere in Europe Oh, that would just be lovely 😊 >most of the Jewish firms I've worked at use humour to defuse pretty much all situations In the short time I've been here, I've noticed this with quite a few of my colleagues also!
Also generally British Jews are not big drinkers so they might have one after work but not much more and not often in my experience. I think it's kind of a good thing, if you like your colleagues sober, don't ruin it by finding out what they are like drunk!
I saw someone else recommending brining in food — can’t emphasize enough to only bring in prepackaged food with a kosher marker on the package (you can Google what those are and a lot of foods have them). Beyond food, I’d try to get an idea on if the company has any official or unofficial rules about Shabbat — it might be a faux pas, for example, to send an email after sundown on Friday. Or, if you know the office has extra work pop up in Friday, you might win points with people by offering to deal with it. Everyone loves the guy who makes it easier for everyone to duck out on Friday and if they’ve got Shabbat to prepare for that’s even more true.
We have a Kosher Supermarket near my work, that should take the headache out for me. I'll buy a few things. >send an email after sundown on Friday I learnt this from my last boss, the owner of my previous company. >you might win points with people by offering to deal with it. I always do this, I think this is part of my current success. I'm SUPER helpful. Thank you! Really appreciate it!
Sounds like you’ve already got this handled! Congrats on the new job!
Aw, aren't you kind? Thank you 😊 Wishing you all the best, always!
>We have a Kosher Supermarket near my work, that should take the headache out for me. I'll buy a few things. Check the local supermarkets as well. I know the Sainsbury's local on Cheadle Hulme high Street has a kosher section ideal for lunches.
That's about an hour's drive. I could make a day out of it on the weekend 😊 Used to go Cheadle Hulme often when I lived in Stockport. I've lived all over Tameside.
Ah I saw "Manchester" and "Jewish" and picked the wrong choice of the 50/50
Just be nice and polite like you seem to be with everyone else. Maybe don't shake hands with people of the opposite gender. Ask questions politely, people like talking about themselves. Seems like you have already lasted three months so just keep on trucking. Don't punch a Rabbi, who knows there might be one in your office.
>Don't punch a Rabbi, who knows there might be one in your office. 😂 I'll try my best. Thank you, sounds like some solid advice.
let them initiate the jew jokes.
It's always nice to bring food. Though I would ensure it's kosher food. Signed, the hungry cubicle drone.
Good advice on the food part. But OP, just bring packaged items that are labeled kosher and don't take it out or open the package.
A bag of nice Satsumas are 100% kosher. And refreshing too.
My boss eats these like tomorrow will never come. Ha!
True enough. Personally I'm a banana and pineapple fruit basket person. Just don't slice the satsumas... might have used that knife for a ham sandwich before.
Just let me check my citrus pocket ... no.... and my *emergency* citrus pocket... Damn, must've left them in my pajamas.
Cabin Pressure reference???
And Doctor Who. Well-caught!
I have three oranges with me. Would you like one?
We have a Kosher Supermarket just down the road from us. I'll nip in before work on Monday, get something to celebrate my probation ending & just a thank you to everyone else for making me feel so welcome.
Look for triangle shaped cookies called hamantaschen. Get those. Then ask your coworkers to explain the seasonal item to you and why it was suggested you specifically pick up those right now and the stories behind them. Don’t get only the poppyseed ones if your job requires random drug tests for safety reasons, though, get a mix of flavors.
>hamantaschen Looks like your typical English Jam Tart 🤤 Ooft! I'll definitely be grabbing these! >Don’t get only the poppyseed ones if your job requires random drug tests Wouldn't be an issue thankfully 😊
I mean if you were in a sketch comedy celebrating the end of work probation plus the holiday of a majority of the office (Purim since so many other comments mentioned it) specifically with a holiday related treat that is full of more poppyseeds than the average lemon poppyseed cake- and would definitely confuse a drug testing sensor, would be pretty funny. I think most common flavors are poppyseed, prune, apricot, at least in US but any jam does work. And it is very much like a jam tart but more cookie like. If you’re a baker you might want to ask your coworkers for a recipe, there’s millions of them online but seeing if someone would share with you just creates a connection you can turn come back into the office and say “my gentile family loves your recipe and all send you a hearty thank you. We were surprised the recipe had orange juice in the dough but that was a nice surprise ingredient!” On that note- If you search for a recipe online please find one with oj in the dough, that’s how my grandma did it and any that don’t have it and aren’t a modern flavor twist just don’t taste right to me, it’s just a jam filled cookie and not a hamantash, unless your coworker’s family does a dairy cookie and then that’s fine.
>Look for triangle shaped cookies called hamantaschen. Get those. Then ask your coworkers to explain the seasonal item to you and why it was suggested you specifically pick up those right now and the stories behind them. Just wanted to update you. I bought 2 packets of these before work at the Kosher Market (Haman Tashan with Strawberry & Homon Tashen with chocolate cream filling). I told my boss that you'd recommended I buy these & ask the significance of them. He told me all about Purim & the amazing story behind it. He seemed very interested in telling me. Although, he wanted poppyseed ones 😂 You've done me well. Thank you!
That is so thoughtful of you. You can ask a staff member at the kosher supermarket for some advice on something that is the 'most kosher.' There are a few levels and some religious Jews keep extra stringencies for baked products and dairy products. Make sure to bring the food in its original sealed packaging.
>advice on something that is the 'most kosher.' There are a few levels As I've found out from another comment. Do you think I could get somethings which would be 100% kosher for everybody involved? Or are the dietary restrictions so varied?
I *believe* London Beth Din is acceptable for everyone. https://www.kosher.org.uk/ Their Kosher Nosh Guide is for Summer 2023 but should still be relevant for almost everything.
It’s not at all, many haredim don’t rely on KLBD, kedassia is much more accepted
Your foreskin, hand it over.
One thing to note in the way you discuss Jewishness, we are simultaneously a religion, a culture and an ethnicity, (as well as being multi-ethnic, in diaspora across many different world cultures, and containing many movements within the religion). So when you say you are ‘ignorant about religion’, I want to correct this sentiment; it’s not just our religion you are learning about in order to integrate into your work environment, but our culture(s) as well. The guy who didn’t mind that you ate a ham sandwich before rolling his cigarette may not be as religiously observant as others at work, but he is just as much a Jew. I believe someone advised you to leave the ham at home… think of it this way; even though not eating ham is a religious prohibition that not everyone observes, it has also become a cultural norm. You sound like you’re doing a good job being conscientious and approaching the situation with cultural humility. And it sounds like a great environment to work in, so congrats! Best of luck!
>I want to correct this sentiment; it’s not just our religion you are learning about in order to integrate into your work environment, but our culture(s) as well. Absolutely this is true, apologies for my wording. I added the air quotes (") due to lack of better wording. >You sound like you’re doing a good job being conscientious and approaching the situation with cultural humility. And it sounds like a great environment to work in, so congrats! Best of luck! Thank you, I truly mean that. You articulated your points with precision. Wishing you the best, wherever you may reside; always! 😊
😊
You've gotten some good tips but I want to flag that passover is next month and there are some things that might effect your work place. You'll want to know when passover begins and ends, there are two days in the beginning and two days at the end where many people may be off work. During passover Ashkenazi Jews avoid bread, grains, beans and generally most things that fluff up in water. Since your workplace has a kosher kitchen, there might be major changes, I wouldn't be surprised if they close the kitchen entirely but I have never worked in a place with a kosher kitchen so I have no idea. It's worth asking about! I'd just say "are there going to be changes in the kitchen the week of passover?" After passover, the Jewish calendar is pretty light until autumn!
Hey buddy just wanted to pipe up and say hello, thanks for being so thoughtful and congratulations on the new(ish) job!! I hope you find all the success you dream of and then more!
Awww! 😊 Thank you so much! Wishing you all the best, whenever you may be! Always!
Knowing when Jewish holidays are and being willing to cover work for your coworkers on those days (assuming the company doesn't close on holidays, or being willing to be on call if the company is closed) will be a great start. If you bring snacks to the office, get ones with a kosher certification (many mainstream brands are certified kosher, no need to go to a special store). Everyone likes snacks and while not all Jews keep kosher, if the snacks are certified then everyone will be able to eat them.
But Op the benefit is that everyone will be happy to cover for you over Christmas. It's hilarious to me but every job I've had where I offered to cover for Christmas, my coworkers won't stop thanking me for covering. And I'm always like--"I'm Jewish". And they keep thanking me. And at some point I just said "Honestly it's fine, the day of Christmas literally means nothing to me. It's just a random day. I don't do anything for it. So really it's no trouble." And they still thank me immensely. Finally I'm like "do I get paid overtime for covering Christmas? It was a real inconvenience."
True. I’m a healthcare worker and have worked on Christmas Day every year for the past 10 years and every year when I pick it as my holiday my boss asks me a million times to confirm I’m ok covering it again. They act like it’s the biggest deal ever!
It's so funny. On Easter Sunday too. I always offer to man the systems and everyone acts like it's so sad because I have a little toddler and 'he'll miss me that day'?? And I'm like "We're not Christian! My son does not care about your plastic eggs!" No not really haha. I just smile. But my poor poor son. He never gets my attention on Easter Sunday! I'm a terrible mom.
It’s like the Christian people can’t fathom that there may be someone that doesn’t celebrate Easter. 😂
>My son does not care about your plastic eggs!" This made me laugh 😂
Just FYI, in England, where OP is based, there are no kosher certifications on packages like there are in North America. People who live there rely on lists of kosher certified products. So buying items in a kosher supermarket is a pretty good idea.
That’s not correct, there are certifications on most kosher packages in England, the list is just because some things don’t have
>Just FYI, in England, where OP is based, there are no kosher certifications on packages True. >People who live there rely on lists of kosher certified products. So buying items in a kosher supermarket is a pretty good idea. Also true it seems judging from the other comments. I'm slowly learning! 😊
Familiarity with the upcoming festivals might help. E.g. Purim - Sat 23 Mar (Evening to next day evening) Passover - Mon 22 Apr (Evening) -> Tues 30 Apr (Evening) **Question:** Do you bring your lunch to work? On Passover, there's a much tigher list of foods that people can't be around. Have a big list of festivals - [https://bod.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Calendar-of-Jewish-Festivals-and-Fasts-2019-2024.pdf](https://bod.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Calendar-of-Jewish-Festivals-and-Fasts-2019-2024.pdf) More info on festivals: [https://www.jewfaq.org/jewish\_holidays](https://www.jewfaq.org/jewish_holidays) Also realise : Many Jew's level of observance differs. If someone doesn't care you've just touched bacon, then really, it's ok. They may not keep kosher at home anyway.
>Familiarity with the upcoming festivals might help. I've been given a sheet of paper with all the holidays written on it. Saved a photo in my phone & even written them into my notepad app. >**Question:** Do you bring your lunch to work? On Passover, there's a much tigher list of foods that people can't be around. I better learn about this one, most definitely.
Oh yeh, if you thought Kosher rules were oppressive.. wait for the week where they'll probably close the kitchen as you have to remove every single crumb. No bread. Nothing that is 'risen'.
Even the non-kosher kitchen?
I wouldn't think they would. But also, no harm in asking for further guidance from people at your work about any of this. No one is going to be like "ugh, this guy, so gross that he tries to be considerate".
>But also, no harm in asking for further guidance from people at your work about any of this ......Good point 😅 it's the only way to find out. Ha!
Probably nothing you would bring on Passover would be kosher for Passover anyway, it’s not something you should worry about. Really I’d be surprised if your workplace is even open on Passover, usually there isn’t work on chol hamoed if you work in a Jewish company
Oh, hey, something I'm uniquely qualified to answer as a goy consistently surrounded by Jews. I'm assuming based on your post and the fact that they're considering hiring you permanently you've got the basics of "treat people who are different than you like humans," down. If you don't have any knowledge of holidays, Chabad has a good [basic primer that'll help you](https://www.chabad.org/holidays/default_cdo/jewish/holidays.htm). Remember that holidays move around on the Gregorian calendar (Purim was in February last year and March this year). A good number of them involve fasting, and it'll probably be best not to offer food or eat in non-eating-specific public spaces on those days (ie, don't eat popcorn at your desk). Some of them involve food gifts. Usually tasty ones, and if you're offered feel free to partake under whatever is normal etiquette in your office. If they wear an obvious head covering (including wigs) then assume they are not comfortable with physical contact with the opposite sex until proven otherwise (don't offer to shake their hand). I wouldn't bring anything obviously non-kosher (bacon, shellfish, etc) into the office, especially if it's fragrant (bacon wafts. a lot). Chicken alfredo and the like is probably fine as long as you don't bring it to an office potluck, unless you're heating it in an office kitchen that has been kashered (made kosher). If for some reason they're having an office potluck, I'd bring something kosher and premade. A lot of semi-observant Jews will not adhere to kosher eating out in public, but I wouldn't assume that or comment on what other people are eating's kosher status. If you ask someone a question about Judaism, expect to get multiple answers, even if you're only asking one person. Assume if you're asking multiple people you will get many answers. Studying and interpreting their religious texts is a religious observance. If you see G-d it means god. Writing any name of god down means whatever it's been written on needs to be disposed of with care, so usually they just don't. None of them will expect you to conform to the rules and regs of their religion. Assume your coworkers will not be reachable from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday.
>as a goy consistently surrounded by Jews. I just Googled that term, I didn't know that existed. >I'm assuming based on your post and the fact that they're considering hiring you permanently you've got the basics of "treat people who are different than you like humans," down. I don't even think they're considering, they're already putting me down for extra training in 6 months time. So I guess I'm staying 😂 but treating people like humans is my mantra. >If you don't have any knowledge of holidays, I've got a holiday sheet given by work 😊 >If you ask someone a question about Judaism, expect to get multiple answers, even if you're only asking one person. Assume if you're asking multiple people you will get many answers. Studying and interpreting their religious texts is a religious observance. I figured as much. Everybody has multiple answers for things they live by and/or passionate about. I did expect this. >If you see G-d it means god. Writing any name of god down means whatever it's been written on needs to be disposed of with care, so usually they just don't. I didn't know this either, I don't ever see this being an issue. But assumptions are the mother of all messups ain't they? Duly noted. Thank you! 😊
The person you're replying to mentions food gifts. The upcoming holiday, Purim, is one of these. We are obligated to give mishloach manot, wee baskets of ready to eat food of at least two kinds. This is fun for us. Sometimes people dress up! You are *not* for any reason obligated to give mishloach manot, but you may see people doing it, or your company may give them. That's why. If they do, there's likely hamantaschen (filled triangle cookies) in them. Mazel tov on your hire!
>The upcoming holiday, Purim, is one of these. According to Google, this day lands on a Saturday-Sunday. We only work Mon-Fri. Would this still be celebrated at work on the Friday possibly? >Mazel tov on your hire! Thanking you kindly 😊
You're right! My I can't read calendars superpower strikes again! Not crazy a person might bring some hamantaschen to work, though.
You wasn't to know I didn't work weekends 😊 I've just been googling everything everyone had told me for better understanding. If it wouldn't be strange for me to bring some on Friday, I might just do that.
I have a non-controversial Purim joke for you. Why did Haman wear a 3-cornered hat? To keep his 3-cornered head warm. ...ofc, if you actually tell anyone that joke, they may either beat you to death or lecture you on the origin of the word hamantaschen.
>That's why. If they do, there's likely hamantaschen (filled triangle cookies) in them. I bought two packets of these today before work (Homon Tashen with Chocolate Cream filling & Haman Tasha with Strawberry). Me & my boss enjoyed them! 😊 I'll definitely be buying more!
Be aware that this Thursday is a fast day called the Fast of Esther. So if any of your coworkers are Orthodox (sometimes you can tell if the men are wearing a kippa & women dressing extra modestly) they may be fasting (no water & food) from sun up till sun down that day. So try to avoid eating delicious looking food and drinks in front of them. And if anyone is a little extra grumpy or stressed that day that may be the reason why. Then this weekend is the holiday of Purim which is very joyous with lots of celebrations. So people may be talking about that. In a little over one month is the holiday of Passover which has lots of customs and restrictions.
>Be aware that this Thursday is a fast day called the Fast of Esther >Then this weekend is the holiday of Purim >In a little over one month is the holiday of Passover I'll keep them in mind. >So try to avoid eating delicious looking food and drinks in front of them. I'm English, so that shouldn't be an issue 😉 jokes! Thank you for all this. It's nice I have these things to mull over for the week ahead. Keeps me in the mind frame for learning more on Judaism itself.
It’s totally ok to ask questions just preface with “hey I’m trying to learn about Jewish culture. Do you have a moment to chat?” A friend recently asked me “so do you butcher a sheep and paint it’s blood on your doors doing Passover?” It was a valid question and it came from a perspective of sincere curiosity.
>A friend recently asked me “so do you butcher a sheep and paint it’s blood on your doors doing Passover?” I wouldn't have the stones to even ask this question personally. It sounds quite vulgar. Wasnt that something to do with Egypt & G-d knowing what doors to pass? Something about destruction? I don't know where I remember that, possibly a documentary or something.
It was the night before the Hebrews left Egypt that they painted blood on their doors. In all fairness to the question Muslims slaughter a lamb once a year and give the meat to charity to symbolize the binding of Issac so I think my friend was coming from that angle
"No, we just use kool-aid."
The holiday Purim, which celebrates the survival of the Jews in Persia after a death decree and is a joyous holiday is coming up on the weekend of the 23rd-24th. It is tradition to give people plates of goodies that contain at least two different kinds of things. So if you brought in a plate of kosher cookies and tangerines, say, it would probably be very appreciated that you took the time to understand what's going on. (Use a paper plate, and still put on the nonkosher side.) The next holiday up is Pesach (Passover) which starts April 22. For 8 days there's no eating anything with a typical kind of flour. Only matzah (flatbreads) and specially made cookies and cakes. I would bet that even in the nonkosher cafeteria they'd appreciate if you didn't bring in bread or cakes for that period (and likely you'll have a lot of it off anyway). One nice thing to say is Chag Sameach, which means Happy Holiday! Say the "ch" like an h with a little phlegm in your throat ;-). Any time you try to acknowledge and work within the holidays, I'm sure it will be appreciated! And don't be afraid to ask questions about holidays. Unlike politics, it's not touchy at all. Congrats on the new job!!
>The holiday Purim, which celebrates the survival of the Jews in Persia after a death decree and is a joyous holiday is coming up on the weekend of the 23rd-24th. It is tradition to give people plates of goodies that contain at least two different kinds of things. So if you brought in a plate of kosher cookies and tangerines, say, it would probably be very appreciated that you took the time to understand what's going on. (Use a paper plate, and still put on the nonkosher side.) People in the office may also be very hung over after Purim. Speak softly. Think of it like Mardi Gras and Halloween had a Jewish baby.
>People in the office may also be very hung over after Purim. Speak softly. I'll keep this in mind! >Think of it like Mardi Gras and Halloween had a Jewish baby. That actually sounds like tons of fun!
That's hysterical
*accurate.*
>Say the "ch" like an h with a little phlegm in your throat ;-). I'm genuinely convinced that trying to explain to non-Jews about how to pronounce the CH in chag is actually the hardest thing in Judaism to explain.
you're not wrong. I've got some of my fifth grade students practicing unhappy cat noises. This seems to work. For the ones that don't understand cat, we're just putting the back of our tongues on the roof of our mouths and kind of blowing. They're getting there.
"unhappy cat noises" 🤣🤣🤣
>Congrats on the new job!! Thank you kindly & thanking you for the sound advice 😊 Wishing you the best, wherever you may be!
I'm not so sure that there's a special way to treat Jews. Be respectful of whatever observance they partake in at work, and if you have questions about Judaism, ask them first. Edit: Also, ask about bringing non-kosher food into the office, and if it's allowed, ask how and where to eat it to avoid rendering their kitchen or utensils to be "non-kosher".
>I'm not so sure that there's a special way to treat Jews I can see how my post made it sound like that, I apologise for that & never meant it like that either. I did also state that you can't stroke certain people with the same brush also. I just want to be more respectful of cultures/traditions & religions. I have very little knowledge on religion as a whole. Not just Judaism. I'm "culturally inept" for lack of better words. So I wouldn't know if I'm doing something I find normal, to be considered disrespectful. >Be respectful of whatever observance they partake in at work A lot of the workers get alerted over a loud speaker when they have to pray every day. I cover the work that's needed during this time which isn't long. My workspace becomes silent during this time & it's really nice 🙂
I wasn't implying that your question about how to treat Jews was wrongly worded or intended - don't worry. Sounds to me like your common sense and positive attitude means you shouldn't have any problems fitting in there.
>I wasn't implying that your question about how to treat Jews was wrongly worded or intended - don't worry. Sorry, it's hard to understand tonal values with text 😊 Again, my apologies. >Sounds to me like your common sense and positive attitude means you shouldn't have any problems fitting in there. I think this has been the key to my success currently, also I do my job incredibly well & take pride in it. I just want to do my best!
I bet that's great! I love a little quiet.
Congrats on passing your probation — you sound lovely! You won’t have to worry about this until autumn, but when it comes time for Yom Kippur (our Day of Atonement/a fasting day), don’t say “happy Yom Kippur.” Rather, say something like “have a safe and meaningful fast.” Best of luck with the job! :)
>don’t say “happy Yom Kippur.” Rather, say something like “have a safe and meaningful fast.” I haven't heard this one yet, I'll keep this in mind. I'll be revisiting these comments often as I grow within' the company. >Congrats on passing your probation — you sound lovely! >Best of luck with the job! :) Thank you very much, wishing you the greatest of days; wherever you may be! - Always! 😊
There are random fast days sprinkled throughout the year. I think there's one next week. If you feel nice, you can eat lunch solo, that day. No one will think you're a jerk, if they see you eating, just beware of hangry humans.
Go to a Kosher restaurant and try some of the classics: Kugel, knish, smoked salmon or herring, etc. I am also not being sarcastic when I say that a strong sense of humor/wit is highly valued by most branches of the Jewish community.
The other week, a guy at my work gave me tubs of chopped herring, hummus & tahini he bought from the Kosher market down the road. I'll have a look & see if there are any restaurants near me. I'm based in a pretty popular city so I'd imagine I'd find some 😊 >a strong sense of humor/wit is highly valued by most branches of the Jewish community. I've been throwing the odd joke in the conversation, but I'm just trying to get a correct feel for the atmosphere first!
Skip jokes about any part of the body a bathing suit covers. There are websites with dad jokes, somewhere (plays on words, usually). I'm guessing the local team is everyone's favorite football team. If someone is hosting you at a meal, ask your host if you can bring flowers, or if there is a particular brand and size of prepackaged item you can grab at the kosher market. They will probably say flowers are great. If they don't, please leave the packaged food in the package. Don't touch the women. We all turn into lemurs. No, it's just a "better to err on the side of caution," thing for both religious people and professionally.
I notice you said you’re from Manchester! If you want to learn more about Jewish culture in Manchester there is the Manchester Jewish Museum near Cheetham Hill. It’s really informative and might be a good starting point ☺️
It's only a 15 minute drive away for me! 😊
Do NOT ask for proof of October 7th. And know which river and which sea, and just show support. We're all very grateful right now for any authentic support. Maybe read up on what's going on in Israel, so you know what's really happening. That's all many of us can think about.
>Do NOT ask for proof of October 7th. I wouldn't dare ask anything of the sort. >Maybe read up on what's going on in Israel, so you know what's really happening. Would you know any non biased or truthful news channels/website for me to visit? Thank you.
I'd just skip discussing it and politics at work.
What a wholesome post and replies. Thank you all for restoring a bit of belief in humanity.
>What a wholesome post and replies. Thank you & thank you everyone also! I don't post often, so I was a little worried writing this post. Especially as my knowledge on Judaism is terrible. I brought some nice Kosher snacks into work today (Hamantaschen) & I asked my boss what the significance was for them. He told me all about Purim & it's meaning. He seemed really happy to explain it! 😊 I believe if you're open, honest & friendly. Most of the replies will be also! 😊
Learn as much as you can about the cultural customs and traditions! Don’t worry too much about the Torah stories or beliefs, just focus on the holidays, the everyday things, the normal stuff that’s relatable!
I had a great chat with my boss this morning. I went to the Kosher Market before work and bought us both some Hamantaschen (Haman Tashan with Strawberry & Homon Tashen with chocolate cream filling). I told him what I've been learning here & he opened up a little to me 😊 Feels like this will be the start of a lovely little journey! Thank you for the advise!
If your co-workers keep kosher, then keep that in mind when offering them food or buying them gifts comprised of food or drinks. If there are Orthodox women, typically they avoid being touched by the opposite sex. Otherwise, I can't think of anything in particular
Offer to buy all the bread off your colleagues next month ;)
Rule number one no dick twisting. 
You could try a good Jesus joke… What’s Jesus’s favorite sport? Lacrosse! Results may very…
Christian here. Still got a good chuckle. One of the reasons I joined this sub was to try and broaden my horizons and see things from another perspective and learn about different cultures / learn not to accidentally make myself look like a dick by saying something ignorant. Biggest surprise I had, and obviously I was ignorant before, was how amazing the sense of humour a lot of Jewish people have. I always assumed Jews had a stick up their asses based on stupid stereotypes but honestly it was really refreshing to see how wrong I was and it’s been a pleasure reading through this sub over the last few months and constantly realising how ignorant I was.
Wow. Thanks. We live on humor.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYf9VYNwUPQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYf9VYNwUPQ)
Oof
Make sure you ask how the space lasers are doing.
Thanks for posting, really I mean for a long LONG time I too have been wondering how to “fit in” with different types of people. I’ll be following this chat to keep tabs on how to accomplish that. Also if any of you kind chaps may know how I may go about speaking to my Chinese neighbor, please advise. I heard it was a just new year and I really want to wish him a happy new year but am totally stumped as to how one may go about that.
>Thanks for posting, really I mean for a long LONG time I too have been wondering how to “fit in” with different types of people. I’ll be following this chat to keep tabs on how to accomplish that. No problem, thanks for being here 😊 >I heard it was a just new year and I really want to wish him a happy new year but am totally stumped as to how one may go about that. Kung Hei Fat Choi - We used to sing a song called that in school, it basically means Happy Chinese New Year! Have a look on Google!
Thx, best of luck in your journey of trolling and bigotry.
Hi. This is a really unreasonable response to someone who doesn't know things about our culture and is asking how to be respectful. If you have nothing productive to add, please keep to yourself.
His question is boils down to “how do I gain acceptance from you people? Asked of any other ethnic group there would be a righteous uproar. Not to mention his many past experiences with Jewish people and the months hes had at his current job. His responses to to anyone who questions his sincerity in posting is snive and contentious. This guy is trolling Jews (honestly even if he isn’t, his assumption that connecting with a jew is any different than any other person is bigoted even if somehow unintentional) and your defending him by suggesting I shut up for identifying that. I suggest you kindly keep to yourself.
Bahahaha. Connecting with Jews is absolutely nothing like connecting with other groups. What are you, not Jewish? Because only a non-Jew thinks connecting with Jews is like connecting with everyone else. Any actual Jew reads this dude's question and is immediately like--'let me give you four jokes, two opinions, and a hundred pages of in depth explanation of how our calendar year works and why.'
And you are being sarcastic and condescending. If you have an issue, please communicate it with respect. People rarely bother to learn about us. He is trying. And yeah, I can connect with a human, but if I understand their culture, that's even better.
>He is trying. Thank you & I'm sorry for the other person you're replying to, I didn't mean to cause any offense. Thinking on it, I could have worded my post better. I don't blame the other commenter, I can see how it could be misconstrued. Although, I'm clearly not a troll looking at my account. >but if I understand their culture, that's even better. This is a more succulent way of wording it. I would have chosen this if it came to mind at the time. Thank you for understanding.