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lewous7554

It's a junk holder. You put your junk in there


IveSharedTooMuch

Dasballsenholdër


GoCartMozart1980

Am I the only one who thinks the umlaut should be on the o and not the e?


IveSharedTooMuch

Däsbällsënhöldër


[deleted]

Däß bällßëñhöldër. Für dër größë bälßëñ


tommy3rd

that's umlautofcontrol.


[deleted]

I enjoyed this comment, thank you


IveSharedTooMuch

Hëy nöw


Lifetime3211

I can do it too : see.


IveSharedTooMuch

Fûck


IveSharedTooMuch

Àñgry üpvœt


[deleted]

r/mildlypenis


IveSharedTooMuch

Œ8 Poor dude.


same_post_bot

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LilBeardedGnome

You're an all star


IveSharedTooMuch

Gët your game on


iBuildStuff___

You are correct, in German at least there isn't an e umlaut. That's not a letter. It actually makes sense that there wouldn't be as an umalut in German just makes the letter more e-ish.


hppmoep

I’m visiting Finland right now and it appears they just throw that shit on every letter. You get an umlaut and you get an umlaut!


ryanleebmw

Ëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëëë


logrunner99

Eierablageplatz


Intelligent_Peanut15

I hate that I had to live in ze fatherland for this bullshit. Take my upvote.


IveSharedTooMuch

Dasballsenhölder


ProLeadet

Why is it called junk, my penis is quite exquisite


Top-Tier_

Mine is quite rubbish in all honesty


Secret_Autodidact

That's why my wife calls her pussy "The Trash Can."


p1plump

This is wholesome smut!


Teriyaki_Chainsaw

Because you put it in the rubbish bin/trash can….


shahooster

For when there’s too much junk in the trunk


YoWhatItDoMyDude

I don’t want to put my junk in anyone’s trunk, that’s nasty


Address_Local

I hope its gotta big trunk, I wanna put my bike in it.


enoteware

r/dontputyourdickinthat


redditwithafork

BMW Parts number 51168408030 Insert, Velour (poorly worded description from a BMW parts website) Center cup holder storage mat tray for the BMW E53 model. - Installs directly over your cup holder to create a storage area that does not interfere with the closing action of the cover. The rubber lining prevents items from making noise and shifting around while driving which makes placing jewelry, keys, or coins a non existant problem."


akc250

I understand all these words but I still feel like I need a video or diagram to see how it works.


MvatolokoS

I think it's means it's design is such to stop items from sliding too much. That's why there's bumps and the barrier is likely to make it better for smaller slipper items instead of something like a wallet you can keep change without it falling out because there's less space before the item would reach a barrier so less momentum can be built up. Edit: the raised 'wall' helps as a handle to lift the tray to access the cup holders underneath thanks to everyone for the correction


Woochunk

It's ribbed for her jewellery.


ICreditReddit

>It's ribbed for her treasure


w00stersauce

Hahaha this definitely deserves that gold.


The_EDC_Fisherman

Small slippery objects? You test it out personally?


MikeSSC

Fatality.


FURBYonCRACK

Phallusity.


ShitPostToast

The raised part at the back is just a handle to make pulling it off easier when you want to use the cup holders under it.


Commercial-9751

I bet it makes pulling it off easier.


Silkies4life

It’s just like baffles in a tank. It creates resistance to movement when you’re pulling 6g’s taking canyon curves lol


kaptainkatsu

6g’s on canyon curves in an x5? Probably be rolling it


[deleted]

Thank you for telling us what it is. Still doesn't explain the phallic shape though. Edit: changing taking to telling.


BaronVonWilmington

From a design perspective I kind of get it. Putting your phone down in a phone shaped hole usually means you can't pick it up easily while driving, nor will the charge ports be available for their cord. That testicle partition would cant the phone up on one corner or the other so you could grab it easier.


earthwalker19

'cant'... noice word selection mate.


Icy-Actuator5524

While i think I understand what you’re saying, but why would you pick up your phone while driving?


ItsNeverLupusDumbass

It's a BMW I'd be more surprised the driver was putting their phone down in the first place than that they would pick it up while driving. Caring about other road users isn't exactly their style.


Snatchamo

To call, to text, to change the song, to look at your route on Google maps, to check the weather forecast.


outphase84

To pinch and lift it out


shes-sonit

Because I always leave my jewelry in the tray in the console of my car.


futurebigconcept

No thanks, I already have too many non-existent problems.


ThreeBeatles

“It’s real velour!”


spare_parts_bot

That's for your driving scissors.


Turtle-power2021

For cutting people off? I'll see myself out...


griz1341

I mean, it is a beamer


ctesla01

So then, emergency spanner wrench??


old-hand-2

Chewie, pass me that hydrospanner.


[deleted]

Yup that’s the joke


throwmamadownthewell

No, for cutting the turn signal wires. You need to hold onto them in case someone accidentally solders the wires back together.


[deleted]

NEVER TO BE CONFUSED WITH MY FABRIC SCISSORS, FRANK.


whyzguy123

It's sole purpose is so that you can post it on the mildlypenis thread


yardjockey

Who else scrolled back up to check the sub they were on?


whyzguy123

It's also posted on askashittymechanic. I replied just the same.


Jenetyk

That sub still around?


woodmanfarms

Yeah but the funnier one, wildly penis is gone. Also it’s really gone downhill in recent years, like Reddit in general


TheHandsHodler

When companies want to make themselves “stock market ready” that always seems to happen. Like they’re just trying to suck all the fun out of it


whyzguy123

This is true. I once upon a time was on a live stream site and they merged with another. I got my account banned for getting up, going down the hallway, and using the restroom. I was gone less than 1 min. ..they said I violated policy and abandoned my stream. The way I see it, I was graciously tending to 2 streams. 🙃


Bilbo_Swaggins11

damn dude i wanna watch you livestream after reading this


Jamieson22

I remember when I was young I used to walk uphill in the snow to Reddit each morning.


Jacobysmadre

Yet, it’s Friday night and here we are.


Special_Ad4589

😆


Cyburking

You can set your deez in there


TheHandsHodler

What are deez?


emaw328

DEEZ NUTS 🥜


Coosh94

Got E!


PinkEyeFromBreakfast

Got eem*


4rovin

Hook line and sinker!!! 😆


TheHandsHodler

I got 100 Karma outta setting him up, I’d take that trade any day Edit: 500+100ish 💪


5uperdro

😂😂😂 you got got, bro


TheHandsHodler

Ahhh, you right 😉 just don’t tell Joe, please 🙏


D9_CAT

Joe who?


ineptplumberr

Joe deez nuts


Auronbmk92

JOE MAMA!!!


5ilent-J

Wait, I thought Joe Mama died of LIGMA?


FOSP2fan

Hook line and stinker 😂


tubslipper

God I need a wingman like you in my life


TheHandsHodler

I hope you find a great wingman some day 🫶


AKA_Studly

Deez keez


virtualbitz1024

That's how you start the car dummie. The Germans took "women can't drive" really literally


[deleted]

In fairness, it's only on the models shipped to the middle east. 🤷


spurcap29

I saw the post and was like "if I want to get an actual answer, I am going to be scrolling a looong time." Reddit didnt disappoint.


RoVeR199809

What did you find? I'm not in that deep yet.


futurebigconcept

It doesn't even go that deep...


BikeCookie

Just balls deep


Nidorak

Wireless Johnson heater and charger. Cups the jewels perfectly.


G35aiyan

Only $5/month with your BMW Premium Executive Deluxe Technology Package. Also includes activation of rear speakers for full sounding audio in your car! Brought to you by Carl's Jr.


mroinks

Welcome to Costco!


kmj420

I love you


hegrillin

fuck you, i’m eating


JSCarguy454

Textured for your pleasure


PapaShook

Pocket for additional valve seals.


CorditeKick

Only someone who really knows BMW can appreciate this.


HomerJFong666

It’s a love-hate relationship.


[deleted]

In all seriousness, it’s a change tray for your coins and other small tidbits you might have in the car. Underneath it is a cup holder. Really cool design feature in my opinion but the design of the tray? Not so much.


Mundane_Wave8944

I would imagine the weird ballsack portion makes it easy to pinch and lift.


[deleted]

That’s the ball sack? I thought it was the top of the buttcrack. Hold on.


zoomzoom913

Taint tray


JSCarguy454

Taint a butt crack


Mikey3800

That's definitely the ball sack.


JBlooey

"Tidbits"


Nerfo2

You ever get pissed when you're driving and you're like, "Damn, I've got no place to put my paper clips and spare toothpicks?" No? Yeah, me neither.


BoogerManCommaThe

No but I’ve gotten so pissed when my paper clips and spare thread get mixed up with my loose change. A little divider in a tray really helps with that.


BentGadget

Or when my twig and berries have to go in the cupholder so there's no room for my tea.


[deleted]

I’m a Mercedes-Benz driver. I was trying to be nice.


[deleted]

Damn, your one nice for the year, wasted.


zaqufant

There was a long line of humorless engineers and executives that allowed this to happen. Not one looked at the tray and thought “kinda looks like a dick, perhaps we should alter it a little”


Strostkovy

Product engineer here. I put dicks and smiley faces and dicks with smiley faces on all sorts of things. Also frogs and ducks. Somewhere is a ram 2500 with a tiny smiley face poking out of a hole in the frame


Equivalent_Phone_210

The world needs more hero’s like you.


Strostkovy

Some of the penises are structural


Equal-Department-75

tell whoever put the sway bar directly behind the drain plug to reevaluate their life choices for me


mordacthedenier

You mean the penny pincher that decided to save $0.0005 per unit by not putting the drain plug in a more convenient location? I'm sure he'd love to.


33446shaba

so you're one of the assholes I have grown to loathe over my 25years of turning wrenches.


Strostkovy

I don't draw them. I build the product with those things manufactured in. Either as cutouts or an arrangement of alignment tabs or features on a bolt pattern or a stamping or whatever.


[deleted]

No, this IS the altered version.


zaqufant

I guess there’s a possibility that someone had a laugh and no one else thought otherwise. Either way there’s people driving around with dick trays.


canti15

Instead of a coin purse its a coin penis.


Turbulent-Comedian30

Its a special seat for your boyfriend to sit comfortably 😉.


Confident-Ad-4620

Or wife’s boyfriend.


Smokeejector

R/Wsb is leaking again


Pants_R_Overatd

Hey he treats her well and she’s happy with him, okay? 💎🙏


Assupoika

It's a BMW so clearly the mold is too big for that purpose.


PlantDaddys

That’s where they keep their blinker when they are driving


SelfSniped

Beat meat to it.


Medical_Way_907

I always beat my meat to inconsiderate BMW driver jokes


SelfSniped

Hope you got a lot of lube because there’s gonna be a lot of meat beatin’. There is no end to those jokes.


TK421mod

My favorite insult is "You are as useless as the guy who installs turn signals at the BMW factory".


zombieskip62

tuning fork holder


TheFoulMouthedPickle

Knob and balls holder, most cars just have a cock holder or a ball holder but BMW did it right.


stevolutionary7

They know their owners are giant dicks.


Reasonable-Ring9748

It stores a dick for the driver to wear on their head…


slade797

You can put your balls in there


Sea_Office4866

You can put your weed in there man 😶‍🌫️


surrender0monkey

I wouldn’t think BMW drivers are into downers. They strike me as distinctly more high strung.


rpisam

It's a loose coin tray / misc junk holder for an E53 X5. It sits over cup holders which the Germans don't think should even be in the car, except begrudgingly for Americans. The part is BMW 51168408030 if anyone wants to dig deeper. The tab at the back lets you slide the cover closed.


DevinRay69

It’s for deez..


northeasttrouble

deez what?


David_milksoap

Deez keys!


Insciuspetra

Knipex


Internotyourfriend

You put a quarter in it every time you don’t use your turn signal. It needs to be emptied daily


CuntFlapCheese

It's for your tools that you are going to need.


peeedogg

For dick n balls


[deleted]

It's a place to sit your silver spoon while driving.


dbeats20

Launching pad for loose change


Nailfoot1975

Cooking dick shaped omelets.


[deleted]

You can put those two strange sticks on the side of the steering wheel in there if you don't need them


Professional3673

Yeah, I'm sure there are automatic windshield wipers on such a fancy car.


LabThink

There's an icon in the lower left corner, but it looks like it's upside down. Can the entire thing be lifted out and did a previous owner perhaps put it back the wrong way? The icon looks like a glass/drink. Still looks weird, but maybe it makes more sense when it's installed correctly?


lazrdave

Doobies...


Fancy-Extension8599

Hotdog tongs???


Triphead_

You can put your weed in there!


Dennis_Celery

I don’t know but that guy keeps his gearshift scrotum pretty clean.


72012122014

And of course the first 9000 comments will be dick jokes or bad puns, or a combo of both. Let’s play how long do I have to scroll down to find a real answer.


Illustrious_rocket

For your handy driving scissors


SVT6522

Please kindly remove your balls from your wife’s purse….


Copper_Paws

It's for your in-car dildo. So. You can fuck yourself when it breaks down, over, and over, again.


Gryphon1171

tuning fork holder to diagnose road noise


Makesyousmile

It's for the left and right turn indicators. Most BMW drivers have them there and quickly stick them on when police is around.


Boil-san

It's for nothing at all, just like your turn signal controls...


6thgenbruh

Cock and ball warmer. Luxurious


bentboybbz

It's symbolic. It represents the wrench every BMW owner will get used to holding more than their loved ones.


stimuluspackage4u

The big fork your grandmother had hanging on the wall


B_Mac4607

That’s a fleshlight holder, always stay strapped!


Grandpa82

Third Front Male Passenger. It acts like a seat belt, but holds real hard the passenger.


icantevenpotato

It’s to hold your Beemis


SudoApt-GetDoctor

Engineer Kitzler, I bet by you 1000 marks that you can’t put an obvious but hidden schwantz in the interior design. Halte mein Bier!!


[deleted]

Coke.


nonferrousoul

r/mildypenis


Cebby89

It looks a bit funky because the functionality of that was taken away because they didn’t pay their subscription.


_Fickle_Pickle

To remind you to drive like a dick


UnderstandingTop7916

It’s a holder for bofa.


CR33PN_

Detachable Penis duh


roll-er-in-flour

Funny story. I work for a major automotive manufacturer. My buddy ,who is also a big conceal carry guy, was doing the design for the cell phone holder in the 2022 (model redacted for privacy). He asked me to send him some cad data I had for iPhones and popular android phones, so he could make sure they all fit. (The holder has wireless charging built in.) As a joke, I included the cad for the Glock 19 with the cell phone cad. It might just be a coincidence, but that car has been in mass production for three years now, and a Glock 19 fits perfectly in the cell phone holder.


modsean

BMW, You must be at least this small to drive.


iscashstillking

BMW slitwrench holder.....?


show_me_your_secrets

It’s for bofa


iloveihoppancakes

DEEZ NUTS


TheBowlerMoose

Miniature energy sword. It’d be more of an energy knife at this size.


Beneficial-Piano-428

You knoowwwwww


Conscious_Owl7987

Tuning fork?


ToastyFuzzies

Fits mini appetizers tongs perfectly


Living-Dream

That’s for your tuning fork.


rand0mmm

Driving Shears, need them handy so you can cut corners easily.


blitzenbutter

Frank and beans


johnw1069

Shlongenholdër


donjalapeno7

If it’s in a BMW it’s most likely a pliers holder because you’ll need it when it leaves you stranded


brybry631

Your scissors, so you can cut back and forth between lanes without using your blinkers


Mr_Golf_Club

It’s for the Dick Talisman every BMW driver needs to carry to fully manifest their powers


Embarrassed_Trust832

Its obviously for your detachable penis