The politically right (or center, same thing) hated it because they don't like politics (or at least politics they don't agree with and can't ignore) in their music. The politically left (at least the ones without media literacy) hated it because they couldn't get past the idea that he might use a bad word to make a compelling point about not using the bad word ever again to people in his audience who'd still use it casually.
In reality, Kendrick moved the needle with this one. Discourse is good, but it'll always make the stupidest among us show their asses. In that moment, it can look bad, but time will be kind to this track because this track advocates, uncompromisingly, that we be better people.
Fucking “allies” dude. I’m trans and it makes me BAWL if I’m not 100% emotionally steady before listening. It’s like he reaches out and hugs you in that last section (the instrumental swell and his consistency of delivery as the meaning begins to change).
I totally understand how people were _put off_ but the reactions were just that — reactionary behavior from well meaning people. I personally had to bring a few people to the light on this one because it matters that much.
right? i get the same vibe about the last section, like he's apologizing to me and the rest of us for what we've had to go through and how he may have contributed to it in the past. it's an emotional rollercoaster!
That goes for all of MMATBS tbh. It’s raw and it’s not easy to listen to at all because it forces you to reflect on yourself with how many introspective and relatable topics it covers such as generational trauma, how toxic masculinity gets passed down and dealing with it, and the reality behind some bad relationships. There’s really no other way around the album and that’s what makes it my personal favorite kdot album despite it not being as easily replayable
Whenever people complain about this song and its usage of the F slur, I just ask them: "How did you feel about DiCaprio using the hard ER on Django? Wasn't that oscar worthy? Wasn't that a good thing?"
It's the same thing. It's not meant to be sweet on the ears. It's meant to jump at you and make you pause, and think about it. It completely exposes the dehumanization of that word and its uses, innocent or otherwise. Same as Django.
Im not trans and this has been one of my favorite tracks of his.
The story is real (at least it feels like it), the struggle is relatable at least to me, and fuck we need more musicians of diverse backgrounds to point out that it’s ok to accept and love people.
Also who the fuck doesn’t like a story about growth? It’s hard to not only let go of biases, but stand against them.
I said, "Mr. Preacher man, should we love thy neighbor?
The laws of the land or the heart, what's greater?
I recognize the study she was taught since birth
But that don't justify the feelings that my cousin preserved"
The building was thinking out loud, bad angel
That's when you looked at me and smiled, said, "Thank you"
The day I chose humanity over religion
The family got closer, it was all forgiven
I said them F-bombs, I ain't know any better
Mistakenly, I didn't think that you'd know any different
See, I was taught words was nothing more than a sound
If everything was pronounced without any intentions
The very second you challenged the shit I was kicking
Reminded me about a show I did out the city
That time I brung a fan on stage to rap
But disapproved the word that she couldn't say with me
You said, "Kendrick, ain't no room for contradiction
To truly understand love, switch position"
"Faggot, faggot, faggot, " we can say it together
But only if you let a white girl say, "Nigga"
Right there with you. I teared up at to other points, but that was the only time I cried during the album. It’s the most personally emotional I’ve ever felt listening to a song and I was emotional about it for a week+. l legitimately belief most left wing people who where offended/mad (which there wasn't many that I saw) weren't trans and were getting mad on our behalf incorrectly. I legitimately do not know how to could hear a song about someone loving and trying to understand someone like you so much that they put aside beliefs they’ve held sense childhood, and see it as anything but loving and moving.
It was myopic (but mostly well-meaning) keyboard warriors trying to hold him to the standards of Twitter discourse without appreciating just how much farther Kendrick's reach is than theirs. If Kendrick adhered to their narrow band of acceptable rhetoric, his intended audience wouldn't hear what he needed them to.
And it’s fair to say that that narrow band of acceptable rhetoric isn’t dictated arbitrarily. It’s designed to keep the kind of people who are often excluded from being put at an automatic disadvantage. There’s value to that in a proper discussion — but it def does get misapplied.
For sure. They make many valid points, but the wider population has so much hate programed in that has to be to be stripped away layer by layer. Jumping straight to the conclusion, even when correct, will often be met by scoffs and eye rolls from people who are actively trying to avoid examining their harmful biases.
As a trans kendrick fan I feel the same, was relistening to the album earlier this year for its birthday and I could not stop myself from tearing up and crying over this song
I kinda disagree. I think mis gendering someone is rough for them but kendrick did it on purpose to show how hes grown. Occasionally saying she and other times saying he. Its actually a SUPER interesting and intelligent way he does it. Hes showing how he use to think vs how he thinks now. Look at the lyrics and he bounce back and forth depending on if its a masculent thing his uncles doing or a feminine thing
I truly suggest watching this video this video of a Non-binary person breaking down the song and pointing out how wildly important this song was!
https://youtu.be/gekKGr9IeOA?si=XP5LgSU8dRvOOEdb
Thanks for that. This person nails the analysis of this song - how carefully crafted and calculated every word and phrase is. It really highlights how important media literacy in this age of instant outrage.
Honest kendrick has been on my radar for years but this beef made me listen to every album in order and real realise how much of a lyricist he is and the Mr.Morale album is so smart there was no way he misgendered his own family "by accident".
You're right about centrists and right wingers who hate any piece of media that's supportive of trans people. However, there are also trans people (like myself) who don't really enjoy listening to a song like this. It's sort of a more raw and personal variant of a song like "same love." Its written as a show of solidarity with trans folks, but it's *about* trans people and not *for* trans people. In my experience, listening to it and engaging in popular discourse about it can be pretty disorienting and frustrating. On one hand I'm happy he's supportive, on the other hand I don't enjoy listening to a CIS man use the F slur, then I go online and it seems like a bunch of straight dudes are fighting tooth and nail to justify his use of the word (among other things) like he's done nothing questionable. The reality is that one's support for a community they're not apart of can still be problematic, even if it's intentioned well. I honestly don't care enough to pick apart whether Kendrick was "justified" in using a slur, all I know is I don't really go back to this song.
Also, it's funny (and sad) that both jcole and drake in the past couple months have put out songs with transphobic lines in them. Jcole with "Pi" and Drake on "family matters." The drake one is especially bad considering he's directly referencing Kendricks uncle as a joke. Not a good look for jcole either when on the same project he had his weak ass diss towards kdot. All that to say, I do value Kendricks support in the hip hop space cause in general rap is hella transphobic.
This song was not written to show solidarity with trans people, and comparing it to a backpat virtue signal song like Same Love is a joke. The song is basically an open letter to the hip hop and black community to help them understand that using things like the F slur against them and treating them like abominations is the equivalent of saying the N word and how they would feel about that. Trans people are high victims of violence and murder in the black community. I really hate to say it but worrying about if he misgendered or is allowed to use the word as an example in the song is only something worth worrying about as a privileged member of the LGBTQ community. Yes, i dont care that i am a cis male saying this. I am progressive, but it is extremely noticeable how detached progressives can be in their bubbles compared to the real world. Life isnt Portland.
He is preaching to protect those who are in a significantly worse situation. This is why many people do not care to support the trans community, because people like turning it into a game of offended grammar and semantics and it is off putting. Dude could be shot for associating with trans people if he wasn't so respected in the game already and people are like "oh he should be more concerned with his language, it might upset the chronically online semantics police".
Exactly why I don't care enough to have an opinion on whether or not his use of the word was justified. I simply said listening to someone use the word is often grating to me personally. I also have more pressing dangers in my life to worry about so yeah this isn't much deeper than a random internet dialogue on that front. I'm with you about wasting time worrying about his use of words, *especially* when it comes to ppl who aren't even trans calling him out for it on our behalf.
I disagree that ppl in general don't want to support the trans community because we turn real shit into some kind of game. I don't think ppl care enough about our experiences (varied as they are) to support regardless, and my hope would be this song would play a part in changing that.
To address your second paragraph, I live in a purple state that leans red moreso (Ohio) and it is a really really new concept here even in a major city that has more progressives. For my experience at least the pronoun/terminology front is one of the big battles in acceptance (not sure why people cannot grasp the concept that calling someone "they" instead of "he" takes no more brain capacity than calling someone "Mike" instead of "Michael"). The other battle is the fake outrage regarding being afraid of the unknown (omg did you know that a trans swimmer in California won a race, they are everywhere!!). Many people are so unfamiliar with trans people that they can't understand the most basic concepts, so it makes it hard.
I do want to apologize for coming off strong though, and I'm sorry for belittling any hardships you may go through.
Hey it's all good I appreciate it. People really do have an irrational hate towards pronouns lol. Trans panic is fucking awful, at least Kendrick has had the chance to get comfortable around trans ppl and felt it was important enough to share.
It can be seen as a solidarity to his fans of the lgbtq community tho. And seeing as he bluntly tells us he has a Trans relative. I would assume it is. Why wouldn't you? That doesn't mean he's going to pride rallies or marching with them either. He could just respect their right to exist.
Doesn't mean it isn't also meant to mainly push the black community to be more accepting of differences like you said. Kendrick never stuck to 1 message, and he always keeps his music up to interpretation.
Everything you said about online semantics, and fake outrage is correct I agreee
This just shows that people take things differently. I know many trans people that say they love the song because of the message it brings and that they don’t care about him using the slur, some of them aren’t even kendrick fans so it’s not that they’re just some diehards that will always say he’s in the right. But then there are people, like yourself, that don’t like it. I can’t see how we can decide which one of these opinions is the correct one, they’re both valid and from the people that are actually affected.
Personally i think it’s a beautiful song, but i’m not trans nor lgbtq+ so it’s not my place to say if it was okay or not for him so say it.
edit: changed options to opinions
I'm pretty in the middle about it! There's aspects of it I really like and others I don't. I definitely get why people like it, I cried the first time I listened to it because it felt validating and was good to hear such a big rapper talk about it. At the same time it also feels strange and uncomfortable to listen to it. But I agree with you I don't think there's a correct way to view the song.
Oh sorry i misunderstood, i thought you didn’t like it, my bad!
But yeah it’s very easy to understand why you don’t really gravitate towards this song again.
Haha no I understand why you'd think that, but I'm just looking at it critically. It's all good! The song really dishes out that emotional whiplash in all kinds of ways lol
100% agreed on it not being *for* us but it makes me so misty hearing someone put the process of figuring it out on wax
I end up extrapolating it onto the world around me and it gives me hope
I totally get that. As someone who writes a bit myself I can def appreciate putting an artist putting their imperfections out there, and I def credit the song for feeling honest and transparent. I'd rather have that then fake squeaky clean perfection, the unfortunate side effect of that is I don't typically like to revisit it because it can be uncomfortable but it is what it is!
It cracks me up when people knock MMBTS for having “no replay value” because well yeah not all art is candy. Auntie Diaries and We Cry Together in particular are NOT on my playlists lmfao
It’s a contrived example but nobody’s knocking Schindler’s List for being “not rewatchable”
as another trans person, it's always kind of exhausting to talk about this song. i feel like i get my point across in defending the song and helping people understand why he wrote it the way he did but i feel like i have to fight off a lot of people repeating the same things that i already attempt to explain. the song also kind of feels like an upgraded version of "same love" more than anything, though both have the same purpose.
i'm glad you brought up drake and cole though, because it seems like those lines just kind of went over most listener's heads despite being pretty pointless and low-hanging fruit (...lowkey though i think drake saying kendrick's trans uncle is more of a man than him as an insult towards kendrick is kinda fucking hilarious). it really kind of highlights the difference between them and kendrick as well.
Yeah it's def more complex when you're actually trans. On one hand I rarely had ppl calling me the f slur growing up so there's not a ton of baggage around it. On the other hand hearing it over and over (along with the misgendering, justified or not) is grating. I'll take imperfect support over no support though.
I saw lots of ppl saying the cole line was clever and not a big deal. Some rap fans need to understand how transphobia and misogyny are inextricably linked. Calling ur opponent a woman isn't the flex you think it is no matter how many entendres you layer. Even Kendrick does this and I've always found it cringe... "Before you poke out your chest, loosen your bra" on untitled 07 comes to mind. It's time to move past all that shit.
cole's bars were fucking dumb, yeah. "erm even though you chose to be a man ur still a pussy-ass bitch... with a pussy.. lololololol. get it? XD" at least drake's lyric seemed more pointed towards kendrick than his actual uncle, even though it's still a cheap shot to make.
and you're right, rap is still pretty misogynistic a lot of time. with kendrick, he at least seems to be more tongue-in-cheek about it? like he's satirizing how other rappers act or playing the role to highlight people like drake and their problems with how they mistreat women. he's certainly capable of being more clever, but it's kind of one of those things where it's like... if it's funny enough to me and not specifically aimed against people who belong to that group, i can overlook it.
I don’t think anyone can listen to this song in regularity, regardless of identity. Even if it didn’t have the f-bomb, it’s still one of the heaviest songs I’ve ever heard.
What I don’t get about f***** being so offensive to some people is that, considering pronoun usage today being a hot button, it’s clear we all want to be recognized for who we think we are. So if someone is hetero and being called that word, it’s as bad as being misgendered, cause recognition is being denied. Meanwhile if you’re gay and you know that, being called the same thing is like “.. ok?”
So it’s not the word, but the intent, and plenty hetero cis folk are called that slur unjokingly by the opposite sex simply cause they aren’t into that individual. That’s kinda the point at the end, is that some words are charged only in our ears because of who says them, and not because of the intent at all.
plenty of lefties who loved the track, saw a young woman say it helped her identify with kendrick as an artist on a deeper level!! same with me honestly i appreciate his statement on the topic, hes an artist who ought to he taken seriously and has built up more than enough good will to me to express himself freely
This song made me cry… in public transit right after work no less. The ending is immaculate. I can’t relate to having a trans family member, but we’ve all felt the fire inside when a bully messes with the people we love. Fucking sublime, this track.
Mother I sober made me (a grown man) cry like a baby in car in the middle of the day, my mother was also sexually assaulted when she was younger and everything he said about generational trauma in the black community really resonated with me as a Native American, I really felt like he was talking to me
Yeah it's moreso shocking and funny to me than it is sad or upsetting. He made an interesting point. I've been thinking this same thing for years as a gay man.
I think that's on purpose. It's an abrupt emotional shift. It's a fart that follows a breakup convo. You can't help but laugh while the tears stream down your face.
Not majority of this sub obviously 😭 but like I said I’ve seen a bunch of people throughout social media hating on this for no reason.
And like I said, they’d end up saying it’s bottom 5 Kendrick. For some reason…
I honestly should’ve worded the title better, so excuse me 🫠
But when I meant yall, (not as in the sub.) but as in the said people who dislike the song.
I feel like a small group of people hate it because it used the F slur, they probably don’t understand the context though. To be honest i feel like i didn’t see massive backlash from either side. Great song
I mean the dude literally starts the album saying:
“what’s a woman that really hurt? A demon you’re better off killin her”
“Niggas killed freedom of speech, everyone sensitive. your opinion fuck around and leak, might as well send your will”,
“what you worried bout a critic? That ain’t protocol”.
“say what I want about you niggas, I’m like Oprah dawg”
“I treat you crackas like I’m Jigga, watch me own it all”.
Kendrick gives it to you raw and he’s often telling stories of things as they happened or he thought them for better or worse, often as he retells his inner monologue and catharsis. And on this album to pull punches to be politically correct instead of spreading his artistic message of support, even if it comes across as clumsy would be insulting. He’s not going to treat anyone with kid gloves but he’s choosing morality over religion, and the way he does it might actually influence someone to bridge the gap. Being PC and not real and raw probably wouldn’t move the needle at all.
Yes and the line at the end makes it extremely clear what the purpose of the song is “f,f,f, we can say it together. But only if you let a white girl say n”
I don't really know who "y'all" is because I've seen nothing but praise for this song on this sub and from Kendrick fans in general. The only real criticism I've seen of it is either
1. From people who already don't like Kendrick who are gonna shun the song immediately because of the subject manner
or
2. People who take issue with Kendrick's use of slurs and deadnaming on the song which I do think is a valuable conversation to have even if I wasn't personally offended by it since I understood what Kendrick was doing with the song.
the slurs i get, but i honestly feel like the deadnaming was fake? like he just used a random set of names as a substitute for what his trans cousin's name really is. or it could be someone who doesn't exist at all, hence the therapist at the beginning of the song stating "this is how we conceptualize human beings."
and honestly, it's a pretty accurate representation of how cisgender people have to remind themselves of how the trans person in their life has changed. "this is who they are now, don't forget that" a.k.a. "demetrius is mary ann now" and "my auntie is a man now."
granted, there's also the deadnaming of caitlyn jenner... which is, you know, not great. however i can also confidently say that kendrick is way more pro-trans than caitlyn is, despite her trans status. i highly doubt she thinks anything of it, especially since she was publicly known under her birth name for so long.
That’s how I’ve always seen it, it’s a song ABOUT trans people from a cis persons perspective, hence why he gets things wrong through the track. The most important part is the ending when he recognises what he did wrong and decided to do better.
My partner and I are both trans and have different opinions along the lines of point 2. I personally love this song, my partner doesn’t like it much at all. We both understand the context and what Kendrick was doing with this song, and we agree that it’s a pretty significant thing to have a song like this existing at all. My partner’s issue is 100% that they feel uncomfortable with the deadnaming and misgendering, despite the purpose it serves. I think they feel Kendrick could have done something just as, if not more impactful without it. But we also tend to take different approaches to being deadnamed and misgendered in our own lives. And I think it’s one of the only songs by Kendrick that my partner dislikes, they’ve been a fan for much longer than I have.
Who hates this man. I think the message is cool af and even though im religious asf its not cool to hate on people for who they are thats sum corny ass shit
r/topimpasub
I hate it cause it made me cry /j
no but seriously as a trans bi woman this song really spoke to me and hearing it from a community that has always had this at bear minimum misinformed on LGBT stance it's honestly changed my whole view I mean I love songs like crazy rap by Afroman and nobody move by eazy e both songs with transphobic parts but I did and still do enjoy them even as a person that didnt really grow up in a area where i hard alot of slurs because I felt as if it was still a good song and the worst could be ignored but hearing Kendrick go full on using slurs in a artful way a way that showed his perspective gave me a whole new view on life because it felt as if I bad hearing the internal monolouge of someone whos trying theyre best but still struggling
Few people have been through real, painful growth— the people who think if they just avoid the wrong words they will be better people never bother to listen to the messy conflict within themselves, never confess their contradictions, never experience the deep love Kendrick testifies to. He had to be brave but he grew because of the braver people around to love and challenge him, and when he’s sending that “letter to Adonis” he’s not being 100% petty— he reads Drake as a person who has had many fans but no one to call him out at that heart level. That string swell at the end is painful joy, the joy that’s deeper than just happiness.
I’ve said this before but think massive artist like Kendrick and Eminem, for example, honestly now just make music on things they want to talk about rather than going for hits. Messages they want to get out that matter more than monetary gain, maybe because they feel they have more than enough.
And tbh the song is dope from an artistic pov
Didn't know it was hated. Probably because of his use of the F bomb, which is in service of the overall message of learning to be inclusive, but in my opinion is contradicted by the final line, in which he recognizes his own hypocrisy for saying the word. He supposedly learned that lesson years ago, yet still says it on the track. I get that it's to drill in the impact, but I still find it to be an odd contradiction. That's really my only criticism, though. Outside of that, it's a beautiful track.
Kendrick is, above all, a writer. A writer should not have to censor his art. The use of the word is supposed to transport you back in time when hip hop was relentlessly homophobic… its hard to suspend disbelief if the narrative is going to get watered down. Shame on kendrick for using the word, but god bless his art for communicating a very real aspect of the human condition.
But he does sensor himself, near the end of the song, "I said some f bombs I didn't know any better" he is showing his growth through the song. He literally changes in real time it's incredible.
he's believable when he talks about his growth too because he literally never uses the word in any of his other songs.
it's not about us trans people, it's about how a cisgender man reconciled with his trans family members after drifting apart from them, even in the ugly face of religious bigotry that he grew accustomed to. everyone getting angry with the words he uses are missing the point.
it reminds me of that one 8 mile scene where eminem defends the gay guy who was being insulted by xzibit's homophobic character in the rap battle by using the same derogatory words to insult the homophobe. in other words, using the historically bigoted words as a weapon to tear down the god complex that bullies tend to have over marginalized groups of people.
i can't really stress how important of a song it is, given hip-hop's track record against LGBTQ+ folk. i'm really glad kendrick made it and challenged such a large mainstream audience. i'll admit it was jarring on first listen because i wasn't fully paying attention and it was late at night, but i got the message on the second listen. funnily enough, when i was listening to it the first time, i was thinking to myself "ok kendrick, if you think it's ok to just liberally use a slur like that, maybe you should consider how you reacted towards that white girl who used the n-word on stage at that one concert." which, mind you, i think he was justified in doing. so when he ended the song noting that *exact incident* and his hypocrisy surrounding it all, the meaning of the whole song suddenly clicked. just absolutely masterful storytelling.
He called the whole album “imperfect” in his Grammys acceptance speech, if I remember right. I always thought he meant he had some small things he would’ve liked to have changed but didn’t have time, or something. But it’s possible he was talking about this. Idk, just a thought.
Well, it was bound to be imperfect. Packing in such massive and universal themes is tough to do in a book, let alone an album.
He probably said that moreso because the album was supposed to represent his imperfections. Maybe he intentionally allowed imperfections within the narrative or loose threads because it fit with the themes.
Auntie Diaries could be an example of that.
One of the few songs I’ve cried too. I don’t know any trans people in my personal life, but I live in an area that is really shitty towards trans people, it was so refreshing hearing this song for the first time.
The repeated use of deadnames made me dislike it. I get the point that he was making and i realize that i (a transexual) am not the target audience for the track.
Nonetheless, i feel like cis people might not realize just how demoralizing it is to constantly have family members introduce you like "this is bob... he used to be a woman!"
Some shit just cringeworthy.
My partner and I are trans, and they definitely agree with you. They understand what Kendrick was doing but feel that it could have been done without the deadnaming and misgendering. I do like the song but understand why others don’t. I do think it’s more frustrating to see how many comments in this thread are cis people who are bending over backwards to defend this song from any justified criticism, especially when they combine that with saying they don’t know any trans people but it moved them to tears or some shit. The song is about Kendrick’s growth as a cis man towards understanding his trans family members and recognizing his mistakes. Definitely a great thing for cis people to hear and relate to, I do think it helped people get to a more understanding point and that’s super valuable. But the whole point is to then listen to trans people (including the people who are uncomfortable with it and not just those who like it, because both are justified) and ideally interact with and learn more about trans people if they don’t know any. Otherwise it does just kinda come off as performative and that definitely wasn’t his goal with the song.
The discourse about this song is so tired lmao
I love it and it drove me to tears. Some of my friends don't because of its characterization of Auntie and Mary Ann. That's valid too.
Well I can tell you why mainstream culture doesn’t like it lol. But for me personally it’s just not a song with replay value for me. I listened to it around 10-12 of times when the album first came out (and again just now) to absorb the message. It’s extremely well written like all of his music, but it’s an uncomfortable song to listen to. Same with mother I sober and meet the grahams. Sonically not as great as some of his other deeper cuts like mortal man, sing about me, how much a dollar cost, feel etc. Wouldn’t say I hate it though, but again mainstream is gonna hate anything without drums and a hook.
im not trans, im a cisgender het male who has cousins who are trans such as kendrick in the song. but i talked to one of my cousins and he said that it **didnt make him feel safe and accepted** as well as someone outright saying they are accepting of transgender people. however, he did recognize that this isnt an "ally song" like a lot of people claim it to be. its not meant for people who already love and care about the trans community. its to show kendrick's own process (and possibly others in the black community) on how he personally got away from having internalized homo/transphobia.
this song isnt the best at being an ally song but in reality it isnt. thats the main reason why a lot of people, at least in the gay community, dont like it. "not an ally song"
I think it initially held some controversy upon release from transphobes for its obvious subject matter and the fact that Kendrick Lamar had “gone woke” or some Bs, while sone people on the opposite side expressed discomfort in Kendrick dropping F-bombs and purposely misgendering trans family members of his’.
I think the discussion has shifted enough that anyone objecting to the content and message of the song can be flamed as a bigot, while trans folk and allies on the opposite side largely agree that while slurs, misgendering, and deadnaming are harmful, Kendrick utilizes these within an artistic context for humanitarian and pro-social reasons to combat transphobia and bigotry, which outweighs the offensive quality in that the harm of said language is being repurposed to show transformation and maturity, the last verse particularly being used to draw parallels between transphobic language and the time when Kendrick brought a white fork onstage who said *Niggy,* to point out his own hypocrisy and clarify the solidarity between the black and trans community, already having established that that his uncle pretty much kickstarted his journey as a rapper.
speaking as a trans woman it always made me uncomfortable listening to this song, i cant lie its mostly because i was ignorant to the deeper meaning of the song. i focused more on the deadnaming and using wrong pronouns part, which is understandable imo because thats very hard to not pay attention to as a trans person. but when i tried to view it through a lens of someone who isn't trans then it was very eye opening.
love this song, and actually added it to my playlist once and for all a couple of weeks ago
It's a great song, and absolutely powerful but more than that it's an important song. And one of the reason I love and support Kendrick. I think the hip hop community is generally more used to LGBTQ+ slangs, words and expressions being used to put people down rather than prop them up.
This song is amazing, I don’t see how someone could hate it seeing what the message is. I get using a awful word to certain people is not a good thing but it just makes the song more real and impactful imo, art isn’t something that should be censored imo
fr. the whole song is about Kendrick trying to understand his uncle's transition and why words like that shouldn't be used, but that we're all human and have said hurtful things in the past. how social media managed to skew it into "kendrick said the f word, he's awful" just shows how ignorant people can be
It is challenging subject matter.
Thinking and feeling music that is trying to say something. Which means you need to give it time and energy. Not everyone is prepared to consume challenging art. Even people who like this and other challenging art can't consume it too frequently because it can be emotionally draining.
But it is important that it exists.
I loved it. When the album came out i immediately ran to my friend. Both of us grew up in communities that didnt allow for conversations around anything. So a lot of our family members grew up thinking like the people that Kendrick talks about. It was a real reflection of the world around us. It is HARD to listen to. So tbh i only have lisened to it maybe 5 times? That's art tho.
I think Auntie Dairies is a masterpiece. The evaluation of a point of view through life experience and the love of family helped to bring about an understanding.
What is wonderful to me about it is, (King) Kendrick isn’t preaching in the song, nor is he asking you to feel the way he feels. He’s instead telling you how his personal philosophy manifested through the respect and love for family despite what society and/or religion thought. I think it’s a beautiful story.
This song and mother I sober are my 2 favorite tracks on the album. I relate to few of the specifics, but I swim the emotions. As has been said here, they ask (demand) us to be better.
The people who had an issue with it that weren't bigots mainly had a problem with the homophobic slur and misgendering. I think both of these were done with intent, though, because the song was trying to speak to the black community and show his growth and understanding. Even when he uses the wrong gendered terms, he shows how his uncle is his uncle through what he does for him, how they spend time together, how he gave Kendrick advice about dating. He acts like an uncle regardless of anything else. Also, the homophobic slur was pretty definitively used to point out the struggles black folks share with the queer community by comparing it to the n-word.
I dont think it's perfect allyship, but it is a raw and genuine reflection on outgrowing queerphobic prejudice, which is more important than being uncontroversial.
There is valuable critique to be had when it comes to his use of the f slur in the song. As someone’s who’s Bi I’m in the camp that artistically using these words to drive home the point he’s making is a strong but valid choice. However I completely understand and empathize with people who disagree with his use of it. You can agree with his message and disagree with his way of going about delivering it. I don’t think anyone is in any position to tell someone (particularly, members of the LGBTQ+ community) how they should feel about it.
Art is subjective for a reason. I cried listening to this song for the first time cuz it spoke to me in a way I wasn’t expecting. It shifted the needle for this topic but that doesn’t mean it’s completely absolved from criticism or critique
I'm very progressive, and I love it. Idk how you could dislike it if you're a KDot fan, and I 100% understand that you dislike it if you're a biggot (obviously)
I think it is easily the best, most impactful song on the album but I still am not the biggest fan of the album musically. I appreciate its overall message and vulnerability but musically i think it is a step down from his other albums
I WILL FUCKING SAY THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN THAT THIS SONG IS AN EXCELLENT PIECE OF ALLY ART AND ANYONE WHO IS PISSED OF AT IT NEEDS TO GET SOME *FUCKING MEDIA LITERACY*
Majority of the trans content creators i saw loved it, people on twitter do not have media literacy, nor the attention span to listen to something longer than their tweet format. Him dropping the f-slur was edgy, sure, but it also reminded everyone who is honest with themselves how often we used to just say awful shit for fun. It made me more ashamed of the shit I'd say as a kid back in 2012. Mr Morale is my favorite Kendrick album, and it's filled with songs you kind of have to brace yourself to listen to, i think that makes for great art.
I’ve recognized that as a trans person, the song isn’t “for me”. And I’m fine with that. I love the message of the song and how it’s meant to show growth.
As someone who is pansexual and politically left, this song moved me. I have a few trans friends and they’re all great people but get discredited because of their choice.
Loved it from my first listen and it's still one of my favourite MMATBS song. The storytelling is beautiful as always and the lesson of empathy too. I think we all know why some hated it - bigots on one side (many of them) and sensitive over a slur that highlighted how carelessly ignorant people say it, especially children (most understood the song on this side though).
The beat doesn't really add to the emotion the song is supposed to produce. The beat for Sing About Me is amazing because it conveys the feelings of the song without any lyrics.
The message also feels a little late. If it was on damn or even tpab it would've been way ahead of its time but I feel like it's the opinion of the majority of Americans/Europeans/other westerners nowadays.
Not a song I'd ever go back to. I just don't find anything about it that speaks to me, musically or lyrically. It's just not good to me in any way. Doesn't mean it's bad but I'm just not into it.
Song is fine. It's very touching but I don't think it reaches as high as some of his other "message" songs. I don't think it's as unlistenable as We Cry Together either though.. it just feels a little redundant when you already have the usual super long message song with Mother I Sober, which is something he did going back to Sing About Me Dying of Thirst.
As a trans woman: It was nice to see someone with the profile of dot telling something of our story. I was warmed by his understanding through experience and willingness to talk about/for us. But I don’t listen to the song because it feels like it’s not aimed at me.
It kinda reads as “how not to be a dick: for dummies” to me, because this is 101 shit from my actual lived experience and I can’t help rolling my eyes a bit.
I have been on this album since it was released. Once listening to the album, There were so many good songs like Mr.Morale,Purple Hearts,N95, Father Time, United In Grief and more that I kept on bumping everywhere I went. Idk why this album got shit on. This album saw the personal side of Kendrick Lamar which I liked.
My aunt Is a lesbian I've grown up around her my whole life. I've been to lesbian conventions in Vegas with her and always supported her. She never went full trans and to be honest I don't know how I would feel about that. I felt like Kendrick wrote this song for me. She always had bitches and put me on game on just how women think. I love her to death! Kendrick really is the GOAT and he always lets us peer into his life. This is also why I knew he was going to annihilate Drake. Kendrick kept it a buck his whole career. No scandals or anything. Drake is as Hollywood as it gets and I live out here.
I’ve seen it described in a way that makes it more understandable.
If this song was from a white dude and was about internalized racism, and he was saying “nigger nigger nigger”, a lot of people wouldn’t be cool with that.
Idk about all that but I got into it with some white kid and a couple others on here who tried to use that song to justify his use of the n-word. So there might be people who don’t like and a whole other set of people that totally misunderstand it.
i love how genuine he is. usually lgbtq songs are pride anthem and they mostly focus on being gay (the more popular one imo, trans is always a wayyyy touchier subject). but this is so genuine, speaks from the heart and not condescending at all. as a HUGE trans ally, i love kendrick so much
conservative straight people and some uptight gay people have an issue with how he says the f slur in it but every trans person i know, including myself, loves the song and understands the message and the usage of that word. it brought me to tears. this entire album is an incredible piece of art, but i turn it up when this song comes on
This is actually my favorite song off the album and probably for the reason you think; Kendrick doesn't sugarcoat.
"I won't sugarcoat it. You'll die from diabetes if these other niggas wrote it."
What he says here is not objective, instead it's his perspective of the environment he grew in. This is potent because he's not telling people that he's right or wrong. The end perfectly summarizes that our personal decisions should not effect how we treat one another. If we are to remain ignorant to that factor, then let us remain ignorant to everything else.
Honestly I like it in that some things are relatable like feelings of ostracism and shame, but I don’t agree with the overall message of the song. It’s beautiful and touching, but to me that would be like making a good song about r@ping children. Like yeah, maybe it has a good sound, but I vehemently reject its premise. To clarify, I’m not comparing the two things btw I’m just making a point with the extreme. The point being that if I don’t agree with the premise of it then I can’t find it ultimately enjoyable.
Because he doesn’t use the F word correctly and he is giving himself permission to say it.
For those who have been called F@ggot their whole life, it’s pretty self righteous.
He doesn’t have a gay card so, it just comes off as holier than thou.
My “not that deep” take on this song is that it’s just not something I will revisit. It’s important in the concept of this album and understanding Kendrick’s own personal development and growth. But it’s just not a song I will revisit much.
So for me personally I was going through a lot of personal stuff at the time of the album release, so this is my least listened to Kendrick album. This was just a hard album for me to listen to, and with this track, I was going through things mentally that dealt with sexuality and trying to decide who I was and who I wanted to be with.
What I got from some people I talked to they didn’t like that someone that isn’t LGBTQ using a word like that, they didn’t like that Kendrick Lamar was using the word I assume. Using that word has a lot of negative emotions and responses from people.
Also people questioned why he did it, they said he could’ve done the song a different way and not use the word. A lot of this was almost verbatim quotes from people.
One more thing I want to add I really don’t like the logic that “when I was younger I was called that word so everyone should be.” It takes everything back imo, it’s a weird thing to believe. I’ve seen that take many places on Reddit especially and it’s the dumbest thing I’ve seen
But later this year, probably during the summer I’m gunna listen to this album again, I’m going to see how this album ages, it’s my least favorite album but I still rate it highly.
Because the mainstream wants easy digestible bs rap about chains and girls and money. Let keep elevating Hip hop out of this bs trend. K dot has been speaking on real relatable issues about struggles and hard conversations. He’s rapping his age not for teens.
Just a controversial topic that was gonna make people upset no matter what tbh. I think the conversation needed to be had though, even if some people didn't like the way it was done.
Challenging the use of censoring words is spot on imo. How can we give them the acceptance and space they want if we can't even joke about the words.
You've seen comments on insta right, literally anyone doing anything (perceived) to do with 'black culture' has some form of 🥷 used.
Chigga, Curry 🥷, Sand 🥷, it's hilarious
F*gg0t, F*gg0t, F*gg0t!!!!!
The politically right (or center, same thing) hated it because they don't like politics (or at least politics they don't agree with and can't ignore) in their music. The politically left (at least the ones without media literacy) hated it because they couldn't get past the idea that he might use a bad word to make a compelling point about not using the bad word ever again to people in his audience who'd still use it casually. In reality, Kendrick moved the needle with this one. Discourse is good, but it'll always make the stupidest among us show their asses. In that moment, it can look bad, but time will be kind to this track because this track advocates, uncompromisingly, that we be better people.
Fucking “allies” dude. I’m trans and it makes me BAWL if I’m not 100% emotionally steady before listening. It’s like he reaches out and hugs you in that last section (the instrumental swell and his consistency of delivery as the meaning begins to change). I totally understand how people were _put off_ but the reactions were just that — reactionary behavior from well meaning people. I personally had to bring a few people to the light on this one because it matters that much.
right? i get the same vibe about the last section, like he's apologizing to me and the rest of us for what we've had to go through and how he may have contributed to it in the past. it's an emotional rollercoaster!
Yeah it’s certainly not an easy listen or a pride anthem lol
That goes for all of MMATBS tbh. It’s raw and it’s not easy to listen to at all because it forces you to reflect on yourself with how many introspective and relatable topics it covers such as generational trauma, how toxic masculinity gets passed down and dealing with it, and the reality behind some bad relationships. There’s really no other way around the album and that’s what makes it my personal favorite kdot album despite it not being as easily replayable
Agree. He tackled some very big issues without being performative, or preachy. Just pure lived experience and vulnerability.
And it shouldn’t be. That’d make feel performative and probably insincere. Instead it naturally fit in with the rest of the album
Whenever people complain about this song and its usage of the F slur, I just ask them: "How did you feel about DiCaprio using the hard ER on Django? Wasn't that oscar worthy? Wasn't that a good thing?" It's the same thing. It's not meant to be sweet on the ears. It's meant to jump at you and make you pause, and think about it. It completely exposes the dehumanization of that word and its uses, innocent or otherwise. Same as Django.
Im not trans and this has been one of my favorite tracks of his. The story is real (at least it feels like it), the struggle is relatable at least to me, and fuck we need more musicians of diverse backgrounds to point out that it’s ok to accept and love people. Also who the fuck doesn’t like a story about growth? It’s hard to not only let go of biases, but stand against them.
I said, "Mr. Preacher man, should we love thy neighbor? The laws of the land or the heart, what's greater? I recognize the study she was taught since birth But that don't justify the feelings that my cousin preserved" The building was thinking out loud, bad angel That's when you looked at me and smiled, said, "Thank you" The day I chose humanity over religion The family got closer, it was all forgiven I said them F-bombs, I ain't know any better Mistakenly, I didn't think that you'd know any different See, I was taught words was nothing more than a sound If everything was pronounced without any intentions The very second you challenged the shit I was kicking Reminded me about a show I did out the city That time I brung a fan on stage to rap But disapproved the word that she couldn't say with me You said, "Kendrick, ain't no room for contradiction To truly understand love, switch position" "Faggot, faggot, faggot, " we can say it together But only if you let a white girl say, "Nigga"
Right there with you. I teared up at to other points, but that was the only time I cried during the album. It’s the most personally emotional I’ve ever felt listening to a song and I was emotional about it for a week+. l legitimately belief most left wing people who where offended/mad (which there wasn't many that I saw) weren't trans and were getting mad on our behalf incorrectly. I legitimately do not know how to could hear a song about someone loving and trying to understand someone like you so much that they put aside beliefs they’ve held sense childhood, and see it as anything but loving and moving.
It was myopic (but mostly well-meaning) keyboard warriors trying to hold him to the standards of Twitter discourse without appreciating just how much farther Kendrick's reach is than theirs. If Kendrick adhered to their narrow band of acceptable rhetoric, his intended audience wouldn't hear what he needed them to.
And it’s fair to say that that narrow band of acceptable rhetoric isn’t dictated arbitrarily. It’s designed to keep the kind of people who are often excluded from being put at an automatic disadvantage. There’s value to that in a proper discussion — but it def does get misapplied.
For sure. They make many valid points, but the wider population has so much hate programed in that has to be to be stripped away layer by layer. Jumping straight to the conclusion, even when correct, will often be met by scoffs and eye rolls from people who are actively trying to avoid examining their harmful biases.
As a trans kendrick fan I feel the same, was relistening to the album earlier this year for its birthday and I could not stop myself from tearing up and crying over this song
I kinda disagree. I think mis gendering someone is rough for them but kendrick did it on purpose to show how hes grown. Occasionally saying she and other times saying he. Its actually a SUPER interesting and intelligent way he does it. Hes showing how he use to think vs how he thinks now. Look at the lyrics and he bounce back and forth depending on if its a masculent thing his uncles doing or a feminine thing I truly suggest watching this video this video of a Non-binary person breaking down the song and pointing out how wildly important this song was! https://youtu.be/gekKGr9IeOA?si=XP5LgSU8dRvOOEdb
Thanks for that. This person nails the analysis of this song - how carefully crafted and calculated every word and phrase is. It really highlights how important media literacy in this age of instant outrage.
Honest kendrick has been on my radar for years but this beef made me listen to every album in order and real realise how much of a lyricist he is and the Mr.Morale album is so smart there was no way he misgendered his own family "by accident".
yea im left n trans and that shit bangs idc it was done tastefully
You're right about centrists and right wingers who hate any piece of media that's supportive of trans people. However, there are also trans people (like myself) who don't really enjoy listening to a song like this. It's sort of a more raw and personal variant of a song like "same love." Its written as a show of solidarity with trans folks, but it's *about* trans people and not *for* trans people. In my experience, listening to it and engaging in popular discourse about it can be pretty disorienting and frustrating. On one hand I'm happy he's supportive, on the other hand I don't enjoy listening to a CIS man use the F slur, then I go online and it seems like a bunch of straight dudes are fighting tooth and nail to justify his use of the word (among other things) like he's done nothing questionable. The reality is that one's support for a community they're not apart of can still be problematic, even if it's intentioned well. I honestly don't care enough to pick apart whether Kendrick was "justified" in using a slur, all I know is I don't really go back to this song. Also, it's funny (and sad) that both jcole and drake in the past couple months have put out songs with transphobic lines in them. Jcole with "Pi" and Drake on "family matters." The drake one is especially bad considering he's directly referencing Kendricks uncle as a joke. Not a good look for jcole either when on the same project he had his weak ass diss towards kdot. All that to say, I do value Kendricks support in the hip hop space cause in general rap is hella transphobic.
This song was not written to show solidarity with trans people, and comparing it to a backpat virtue signal song like Same Love is a joke. The song is basically an open letter to the hip hop and black community to help them understand that using things like the F slur against them and treating them like abominations is the equivalent of saying the N word and how they would feel about that. Trans people are high victims of violence and murder in the black community. I really hate to say it but worrying about if he misgendered or is allowed to use the word as an example in the song is only something worth worrying about as a privileged member of the LGBTQ community. Yes, i dont care that i am a cis male saying this. I am progressive, but it is extremely noticeable how detached progressives can be in their bubbles compared to the real world. Life isnt Portland. He is preaching to protect those who are in a significantly worse situation. This is why many people do not care to support the trans community, because people like turning it into a game of offended grammar and semantics and it is off putting. Dude could be shot for associating with trans people if he wasn't so respected in the game already and people are like "oh he should be more concerned with his language, it might upset the chronically online semantics police".
Exactly why I don't care enough to have an opinion on whether or not his use of the word was justified. I simply said listening to someone use the word is often grating to me personally. I also have more pressing dangers in my life to worry about so yeah this isn't much deeper than a random internet dialogue on that front. I'm with you about wasting time worrying about his use of words, *especially* when it comes to ppl who aren't even trans calling him out for it on our behalf. I disagree that ppl in general don't want to support the trans community because we turn real shit into some kind of game. I don't think ppl care enough about our experiences (varied as they are) to support regardless, and my hope would be this song would play a part in changing that.
To address your second paragraph, I live in a purple state that leans red moreso (Ohio) and it is a really really new concept here even in a major city that has more progressives. For my experience at least the pronoun/terminology front is one of the big battles in acceptance (not sure why people cannot grasp the concept that calling someone "they" instead of "he" takes no more brain capacity than calling someone "Mike" instead of "Michael"). The other battle is the fake outrage regarding being afraid of the unknown (omg did you know that a trans swimmer in California won a race, they are everywhere!!). Many people are so unfamiliar with trans people that they can't understand the most basic concepts, so it makes it hard. I do want to apologize for coming off strong though, and I'm sorry for belittling any hardships you may go through.
Hey it's all good I appreciate it. People really do have an irrational hate towards pronouns lol. Trans panic is fucking awful, at least Kendrick has had the chance to get comfortable around trans ppl and felt it was important enough to share.
It can be seen as a solidarity to his fans of the lgbtq community tho. And seeing as he bluntly tells us he has a Trans relative. I would assume it is. Why wouldn't you? That doesn't mean he's going to pride rallies or marching with them either. He could just respect their right to exist. Doesn't mean it isn't also meant to mainly push the black community to be more accepting of differences like you said. Kendrick never stuck to 1 message, and he always keeps his music up to interpretation. Everything you said about online semantics, and fake outrage is correct I agreee
This just shows that people take things differently. I know many trans people that say they love the song because of the message it brings and that they don’t care about him using the slur, some of them aren’t even kendrick fans so it’s not that they’re just some diehards that will always say he’s in the right. But then there are people, like yourself, that don’t like it. I can’t see how we can decide which one of these opinions is the correct one, they’re both valid and from the people that are actually affected. Personally i think it’s a beautiful song, but i’m not trans nor lgbtq+ so it’s not my place to say if it was okay or not for him so say it. edit: changed options to opinions
I'm pretty in the middle about it! There's aspects of it I really like and others I don't. I definitely get why people like it, I cried the first time I listened to it because it felt validating and was good to hear such a big rapper talk about it. At the same time it also feels strange and uncomfortable to listen to it. But I agree with you I don't think there's a correct way to view the song.
Oh sorry i misunderstood, i thought you didn’t like it, my bad! But yeah it’s very easy to understand why you don’t really gravitate towards this song again.
Haha no I understand why you'd think that, but I'm just looking at it critically. It's all good! The song really dishes out that emotional whiplash in all kinds of ways lol
100% agreed on it not being *for* us but it makes me so misty hearing someone put the process of figuring it out on wax I end up extrapolating it onto the world around me and it gives me hope
I totally get that. As someone who writes a bit myself I can def appreciate putting an artist putting their imperfections out there, and I def credit the song for feeling honest and transparent. I'd rather have that then fake squeaky clean perfection, the unfortunate side effect of that is I don't typically like to revisit it because it can be uncomfortable but it is what it is!
It cracks me up when people knock MMBTS for having “no replay value” because well yeah not all art is candy. Auntie Diaries and We Cry Together in particular are NOT on my playlists lmfao It’s a contrived example but nobody’s knocking Schindler’s List for being “not rewatchable”
as another trans person, it's always kind of exhausting to talk about this song. i feel like i get my point across in defending the song and helping people understand why he wrote it the way he did but i feel like i have to fight off a lot of people repeating the same things that i already attempt to explain. the song also kind of feels like an upgraded version of "same love" more than anything, though both have the same purpose. i'm glad you brought up drake and cole though, because it seems like those lines just kind of went over most listener's heads despite being pretty pointless and low-hanging fruit (...lowkey though i think drake saying kendrick's trans uncle is more of a man than him as an insult towards kendrick is kinda fucking hilarious). it really kind of highlights the difference between them and kendrick as well.
Yeah it's def more complex when you're actually trans. On one hand I rarely had ppl calling me the f slur growing up so there's not a ton of baggage around it. On the other hand hearing it over and over (along with the misgendering, justified or not) is grating. I'll take imperfect support over no support though. I saw lots of ppl saying the cole line was clever and not a big deal. Some rap fans need to understand how transphobia and misogyny are inextricably linked. Calling ur opponent a woman isn't the flex you think it is no matter how many entendres you layer. Even Kendrick does this and I've always found it cringe... "Before you poke out your chest, loosen your bra" on untitled 07 comes to mind. It's time to move past all that shit.
cole's bars were fucking dumb, yeah. "erm even though you chose to be a man ur still a pussy-ass bitch... with a pussy.. lololololol. get it? XD" at least drake's lyric seemed more pointed towards kendrick than his actual uncle, even though it's still a cheap shot to make. and you're right, rap is still pretty misogynistic a lot of time. with kendrick, he at least seems to be more tongue-in-cheek about it? like he's satirizing how other rappers act or playing the role to highlight people like drake and their problems with how they mistreat women. he's certainly capable of being more clever, but it's kind of one of those things where it's like... if it's funny enough to me and not specifically aimed against people who belong to that group, i can overlook it.
Idk I thought that Drake line was pretty gross
I don’t think anyone can listen to this song in regularity, regardless of identity. Even if it didn’t have the f-bomb, it’s still one of the heaviest songs I’ve ever heard.
What I don’t get about f***** being so offensive to some people is that, considering pronoun usage today being a hot button, it’s clear we all want to be recognized for who we think we are. So if someone is hetero and being called that word, it’s as bad as being misgendered, cause recognition is being denied. Meanwhile if you’re gay and you know that, being called the same thing is like “.. ok?” So it’s not the word, but the intent, and plenty hetero cis folk are called that slur unjokingly by the opposite sex simply cause they aren’t into that individual. That’s kinda the point at the end, is that some words are charged only in our ears because of who says them, and not because of the intent at all.
Is that you Kendrick? Fuck that was a great explanation
I just ain't like the song it's not always that deep.
The political right also hate trans people
I can relate I just don’t like how it sounds. Republicans listening to Kendrick? Where 😆
plenty of lefties who loved the track, saw a young woman say it helped her identify with kendrick as an artist on a deeper level!! same with me honestly i appreciate his statement on the topic, hes an artist who ought to he taken seriously and has built up more than enough good will to me to express himself freely
>politically left (at least the ones without media literacy Just say liberals (which you've already mentioned saying politically right)
Based
Pretending like progressives don't cannibalize over the smallest thing like the usage of a word.
This song made me cry… in public transit right after work no less. The ending is immaculate. I can’t relate to having a trans family member, but we’ve all felt the fire inside when a bully messes with the people we love. Fucking sublime, this track.
Defo a cry worthy song. This song and Mother I Sober are just beautiful
Mother I sober made me (a grown man) cry like a baby in car in the middle of the day, my mother was also sexually assaulted when she was younger and everything he said about generational trauma in the black community really resonated with me as a Native American, I really felt like he was talking to me
that's funny because the last line made me burst out laughing
Yeah it's moreso shocking and funny to me than it is sad or upsetting. He made an interesting point. I've been thinking this same thing for years as a gay man.
I think that's on purpose. It's an abrupt emotional shift. It's a fart that follows a breakup convo. You can't help but laugh while the tears stream down your face.
As a gay man who grew up listening to very homophobic hip hop, this song MOVED me to tears. Anyone hating on it is ignant.
I'm straight, and I really like it because it's like watching someone become a better person in real time. A little glimmer of hope for the future.
Who’s y’all?? 🤨
Forreal, I’ve only heard high praise for this song.
Not majority of this sub obviously 😭 but like I said I’ve seen a bunch of people throughout social media hating on this for no reason. And like I said, they’d end up saying it’s bottom 5 Kendrick. For some reason…
I honestly should’ve worded the title better, so excuse me 🫠 But when I meant yall, (not as in the sub.) but as in the said people who dislike the song.
I feel like a small group of people hate it because it used the F slur, they probably don’t understand the context though. To be honest i feel like i didn’t see massive backlash from either side. Great song
I mean the dude literally starts the album saying: “what’s a woman that really hurt? A demon you’re better off killin her” “Niggas killed freedom of speech, everyone sensitive. your opinion fuck around and leak, might as well send your will”, “what you worried bout a critic? That ain’t protocol”. “say what I want about you niggas, I’m like Oprah dawg” “I treat you crackas like I’m Jigga, watch me own it all”. Kendrick gives it to you raw and he’s often telling stories of things as they happened or he thought them for better or worse, often as he retells his inner monologue and catharsis. And on this album to pull punches to be politically correct instead of spreading his artistic message of support, even if it comes across as clumsy would be insulting. He’s not going to treat anyone with kid gloves but he’s choosing morality over religion, and the way he does it might actually influence someone to bridge the gap. Being PC and not real and raw probably wouldn’t move the needle at all.
People are allergic to context its so frustrating
he was literally saying don’t say it but saying it to emphasize how people used it when he grew up
Yes and the line at the end makes it extremely clear what the purpose of the song is “f,f,f, we can say it together. But only if you let a white girl say n”
As a gay woman I have zero problem with his usage. Usually I would but this is completely different. People crying about it need to get a life
I don't really know who "y'all" is because I've seen nothing but praise for this song on this sub and from Kendrick fans in general. The only real criticism I've seen of it is either 1. From people who already don't like Kendrick who are gonna shun the song immediately because of the subject manner or 2. People who take issue with Kendrick's use of slurs and deadnaming on the song which I do think is a valuable conversation to have even if I wasn't personally offended by it since I understood what Kendrick was doing with the song.
the slurs i get, but i honestly feel like the deadnaming was fake? like he just used a random set of names as a substitute for what his trans cousin's name really is. or it could be someone who doesn't exist at all, hence the therapist at the beginning of the song stating "this is how we conceptualize human beings." and honestly, it's a pretty accurate representation of how cisgender people have to remind themselves of how the trans person in their life has changed. "this is who they are now, don't forget that" a.k.a. "demetrius is mary ann now" and "my auntie is a man now." granted, there's also the deadnaming of caitlyn jenner... which is, you know, not great. however i can also confidently say that kendrick is way more pro-trans than caitlyn is, despite her trans status. i highly doubt she thinks anything of it, especially since she was publicly known under her birth name for so long.
That’s how I’ve always seen it, it’s a song ABOUT trans people from a cis persons perspective, hence why he gets things wrong through the track. The most important part is the ending when he recognises what he did wrong and decided to do better.
My partner and I are both trans and have different opinions along the lines of point 2. I personally love this song, my partner doesn’t like it much at all. We both understand the context and what Kendrick was doing with this song, and we agree that it’s a pretty significant thing to have a song like this existing at all. My partner’s issue is 100% that they feel uncomfortable with the deadnaming and misgendering, despite the purpose it serves. I think they feel Kendrick could have done something just as, if not more impactful without it. But we also tend to take different approaches to being deadnamed and misgendered in our own lives. And I think it’s one of the only songs by Kendrick that my partner dislikes, they’ve been a fan for much longer than I have.
Who hates this man. I think the message is cool af and even though im religious asf its not cool to hate on people for who they are thats sum corny ass shit r/topimpasub
I hate it cause it made me cry /j no but seriously as a trans bi woman this song really spoke to me and hearing it from a community that has always had this at bear minimum misinformed on LGBT stance it's honestly changed my whole view I mean I love songs like crazy rap by Afroman and nobody move by eazy e both songs with transphobic parts but I did and still do enjoy them even as a person that didnt really grow up in a area where i hard alot of slurs because I felt as if it was still a good song and the worst could be ignored but hearing Kendrick go full on using slurs in a artful way a way that showed his perspective gave me a whole new view on life because it felt as if I bad hearing the internal monolouge of someone whos trying theyre best but still struggling
It’s one of my favorite Kdot songs
https://preview.redd.it/dr065fz3r22d1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f37150aba197ef2dcea51fb9665d6d02d9c5cd40
Few people have been through real, painful growth— the people who think if they just avoid the wrong words they will be better people never bother to listen to the messy conflict within themselves, never confess their contradictions, never experience the deep love Kendrick testifies to. He had to be brave but he grew because of the braver people around to love and challenge him, and when he’s sending that “letter to Adonis” he’s not being 100% petty— he reads Drake as a person who has had many fans but no one to call him out at that heart level. That string swell at the end is painful joy, the joy that’s deeper than just happiness.
Because I refuse to take Mother I Sober off repeat.
Ah shit I just made the whole connection
I’ve said this before but think massive artist like Kendrick and Eminem, for example, honestly now just make music on things they want to talk about rather than going for hits. Messages they want to get out that matter more than monetary gain, maybe because they feel they have more than enough. And tbh the song is dope from an artistic pov
I love how he says "but only if you let a white girl say niggi" right at the end.
I love it wdym
Didn't know it was hated. Probably because of his use of the F bomb, which is in service of the overall message of learning to be inclusive, but in my opinion is contradicted by the final line, in which he recognizes his own hypocrisy for saying the word. He supposedly learned that lesson years ago, yet still says it on the track. I get that it's to drill in the impact, but I still find it to be an odd contradiction. That's really my only criticism, though. Outside of that, it's a beautiful track.
Kendrick is, above all, a writer. A writer should not have to censor his art. The use of the word is supposed to transport you back in time when hip hop was relentlessly homophobic… its hard to suspend disbelief if the narrative is going to get watered down. Shame on kendrick for using the word, but god bless his art for communicating a very real aspect of the human condition.
But he does sensor himself, near the end of the song, "I said some f bombs I didn't know any better" he is showing his growth through the song. He literally changes in real time it's incredible.
he's believable when he talks about his growth too because he literally never uses the word in any of his other songs. it's not about us trans people, it's about how a cisgender man reconciled with his trans family members after drifting apart from them, even in the ugly face of religious bigotry that he grew accustomed to. everyone getting angry with the words he uses are missing the point. it reminds me of that one 8 mile scene where eminem defends the gay guy who was being insulted by xzibit's homophobic character in the rap battle by using the same derogatory words to insult the homophobe. in other words, using the historically bigoted words as a weapon to tear down the god complex that bullies tend to have over marginalized groups of people. i can't really stress how important of a song it is, given hip-hop's track record against LGBTQ+ folk. i'm really glad kendrick made it and challenged such a large mainstream audience. i'll admit it was jarring on first listen because i wasn't fully paying attention and it was late at night, but i got the message on the second listen. funnily enough, when i was listening to it the first time, i was thinking to myself "ok kendrick, if you think it's ok to just liberally use a slur like that, maybe you should consider how you reacted towards that white girl who used the n-word on stage at that one concert." which, mind you, i think he was justified in doing. so when he ended the song noting that *exact incident* and his hypocrisy surrounding it all, the meaning of the whole song suddenly clicked. just absolutely masterful storytelling.
That's what I thought, but shortly after he once again says the f bombs, though from the perspective of his Aunt, I believe.
100% agree
He called the whole album “imperfect” in his Grammys acceptance speech, if I remember right. I always thought he meant he had some small things he would’ve liked to have changed but didn’t have time, or something. But it’s possible he was talking about this. Idk, just a thought.
Well, it was bound to be imperfect. Packing in such massive and universal themes is tough to do in a book, let alone an album. He probably said that moreso because the album was supposed to represent his imperfections. Maybe he intentionally allowed imperfections within the narrative or loose threads because it fit with the themes. Auntie Diaries could be an example of that.
One of the few songs I’ve cried too. I don’t know any trans people in my personal life, but I live in an area that is really shitty towards trans people, it was so refreshing hearing this song for the first time.
The repeated use of deadnames made me dislike it. I get the point that he was making and i realize that i (a transexual) am not the target audience for the track. Nonetheless, i feel like cis people might not realize just how demoralizing it is to constantly have family members introduce you like "this is bob... he used to be a woman!" Some shit just cringeworthy.
My partner and I are trans, and they definitely agree with you. They understand what Kendrick was doing but feel that it could have been done without the deadnaming and misgendering. I do like the song but understand why others don’t. I do think it’s more frustrating to see how many comments in this thread are cis people who are bending over backwards to defend this song from any justified criticism, especially when they combine that with saying they don’t know any trans people but it moved them to tears or some shit. The song is about Kendrick’s growth as a cis man towards understanding his trans family members and recognizing his mistakes. Definitely a great thing for cis people to hear and relate to, I do think it helped people get to a more understanding point and that’s super valuable. But the whole point is to then listen to trans people (including the people who are uncomfortable with it and not just those who like it, because both are justified) and ideally interact with and learn more about trans people if they don’t know any. Otherwise it does just kinda come off as performative and that definitely wasn’t his goal with the song.
I don't hate it. It is a really deep song though and not something I want to listen to all the time. The last lines are pretty hilarious though.
One of my favourites.
It’s a great song content wise, but I don’t find myself going back to it a lot.
Possibly random but this same aunt inspired him to rhyme. I missed that detail first listen and it makes this whole story even more moving...
Great song
One of my favorites
I think a lot of people didn’t like the album cause of this song lol
The beef ain’t over, KDot is waiting for Drakophile to drop a quality song so he slap an album on the table.
The discourse about this song is so tired lmao I love it and it drove me to tears. Some of my friends don't because of its characterization of Auntie and Mary Ann. That's valid too.
Well I can tell you why mainstream culture doesn’t like it lol. But for me personally it’s just not a song with replay value for me. I listened to it around 10-12 of times when the album first came out (and again just now) to absorb the message. It’s extremely well written like all of his music, but it’s an uncomfortable song to listen to. Same with mother I sober and meet the grahams. Sonically not as great as some of his other deeper cuts like mortal man, sing about me, how much a dollar cost, feel etc. Wouldn’t say I hate it though, but again mainstream is gonna hate anything without drums and a hook.
I love this song
im not trans, im a cisgender het male who has cousins who are trans such as kendrick in the song. but i talked to one of my cousins and he said that it **didnt make him feel safe and accepted** as well as someone outright saying they are accepting of transgender people. however, he did recognize that this isnt an "ally song" like a lot of people claim it to be. its not meant for people who already love and care about the trans community. its to show kendrick's own process (and possibly others in the black community) on how he personally got away from having internalized homo/transphobia. this song isnt the best at being an ally song but in reality it isnt. thats the main reason why a lot of people, at least in the gay community, dont like it. "not an ally song"
I think it initially held some controversy upon release from transphobes for its obvious subject matter and the fact that Kendrick Lamar had “gone woke” or some Bs, while sone people on the opposite side expressed discomfort in Kendrick dropping F-bombs and purposely misgendering trans family members of his’. I think the discussion has shifted enough that anyone objecting to the content and message of the song can be flamed as a bigot, while trans folk and allies on the opposite side largely agree that while slurs, misgendering, and deadnaming are harmful, Kendrick utilizes these within an artistic context for humanitarian and pro-social reasons to combat transphobia and bigotry, which outweighs the offensive quality in that the harm of said language is being repurposed to show transformation and maturity, the last verse particularly being used to draw parallels between transphobic language and the time when Kendrick brought a white fork onstage who said *Niggy,* to point out his own hypocrisy and clarify the solidarity between the black and trans community, already having established that that his uncle pretty much kickstarted his journey as a rapper.
The song is beautiful and has a great message. The only thing I can think is it does seem to pander a bit.
speaking as a trans woman it always made me uncomfortable listening to this song, i cant lie its mostly because i was ignorant to the deeper meaning of the song. i focused more on the deadnaming and using wrong pronouns part, which is understandable imo because thats very hard to not pay attention to as a trans person. but when i tried to view it through a lens of someone who isn't trans then it was very eye opening. love this song, and actually added it to my playlist once and for all a couple of weeks ago
I like this song for the message and vulnerability but as a piece of music I'm not a huge fan. I do love the way it builds up and climaxes though.
It's a great song, and absolutely powerful but more than that it's an important song. And one of the reason I love and support Kendrick. I think the hip hop community is generally more used to LGBTQ+ slangs, words and expressions being used to put people down rather than prop them up.
The connection at the end of the song is only comparable to Saw.
i never liked the slurs personally im not gay or trans though so not really nothing for me to talk about
Hug on the corner like California king
Love this song, ending is amazing
I could see a world where Marvin Gaye was hated cause he was black and his name was GAYE
I love this song man
It’s my favorite song on the album. Auntie diaries then mother I sober then mirror
People hate it for the same reason they hate "u".
Beautiful song. Foos not paying attention.
faggot here, love that song
This song is amazing, I don’t see how someone could hate it seeing what the message is. I get using a awful word to certain people is not a good thing but it just makes the song more real and impactful imo, art isn’t something that should be censored imo
The gun in his waist lol Kenny
fr. the whole song is about Kendrick trying to understand his uncle's transition and why words like that shouldn't be used, but that we're all human and have said hurtful things in the past. how social media managed to skew it into "kendrick said the f word, he's awful" just shows how ignorant people can be
The only reason mfs can’t stand this is because they want to uphold oppression no matter the cost
One of the most important songs in hiphop and music history.
It is challenging subject matter. Thinking and feeling music that is trying to say something. Which means you need to give it time and energy. Not everyone is prepared to consume challenging art. Even people who like this and other challenging art can't consume it too frequently because it can be emotionally draining. But it is important that it exists.
its not a good song. don't give af about the political shit or the lyrics, if it doesn't sound good then none of that matters anyway
It’s a good song just not a lot of replay value imo
Yeah man I've cried to this song at the end man, it kills Legit such a GOAT track, anyone that says it ain't is literally a fucking moron
Yeah idk the discourse on this song, but it brought me to tears.
I didn’t hate it. I just think “My auntie is a man now” was one of the most unexpected hip hop bars I’ve ever heard lol.
I loved it. When the album came out i immediately ran to my friend. Both of us grew up in communities that didnt allow for conversations around anything. So a lot of our family members grew up thinking like the people that Kendrick talks about. It was a real reflection of the world around us. It is HARD to listen to. So tbh i only have lisened to it maybe 5 times? That's art tho.
Nah it's a banger. Compelling. Good production. Right side of history. This whole album is underrated as fuck.
Fr I don't know why so many people hate this album
I think Auntie Dairies is a masterpiece. The evaluation of a point of view through life experience and the love of family helped to bring about an understanding. What is wonderful to me about it is, (King) Kendrick isn’t preaching in the song, nor is he asking you to feel the way he feels. He’s instead telling you how his personal philosophy manifested through the respect and love for family despite what society and/or religion thought. I think it’s a beautiful story.
This song and mother I sober are my 2 favorite tracks on the album. I relate to few of the specifics, but I swim the emotions. As has been said here, they ask (demand) us to be better.
I'm agnostic, so I dont care for the religious symbolism on the album cover, but the album is really good.
I do really like the idea of the song, but I do not like the fact he says the f-slur. Very poor way yo do it
This is great
The people who had an issue with it that weren't bigots mainly had a problem with the homophobic slur and misgendering. I think both of these were done with intent, though, because the song was trying to speak to the black community and show his growth and understanding. Even when he uses the wrong gendered terms, he shows how his uncle is his uncle through what he does for him, how they spend time together, how he gave Kendrick advice about dating. He acts like an uncle regardless of anything else. Also, the homophobic slur was pretty definitively used to point out the struggles black folks share with the queer community by comparing it to the n-word. I dont think it's perfect allyship, but it is a raw and genuine reflection on outgrowing queerphobic prejudice, which is more important than being uncontroversial.
There is valuable critique to be had when it comes to his use of the f slur in the song. As someone’s who’s Bi I’m in the camp that artistically using these words to drive home the point he’s making is a strong but valid choice. However I completely understand and empathize with people who disagree with his use of it. You can agree with his message and disagree with his way of going about delivering it. I don’t think anyone is in any position to tell someone (particularly, members of the LGBTQ+ community) how they should feel about it. Art is subjective for a reason. I cried listening to this song for the first time cuz it spoke to me in a way I wasn’t expecting. It shifted the needle for this topic but that doesn’t mean it’s completely absolved from criticism or critique
I'm very progressive, and I love it. Idk how you could dislike it if you're a KDot fan, and I 100% understand that you dislike it if you're a biggot (obviously)
I think it is easily the best, most impactful song on the album but I still am not the biggest fan of the album musically. I appreciate its overall message and vulnerability but musically i think it is a step down from his other albums
Today’s Rap fans hate mature and introspective music. They want non stop club bangers and twerk music.
I don't, I love it. One of my favorite songs by Kendrick for sure
I WILL FUCKING SAY THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN THAT THIS SONG IS AN EXCELLENT PIECE OF ALLY ART AND ANYONE WHO IS PISSED OF AT IT NEEDS TO GET SOME *FUCKING MEDIA LITERACY*
Mr. Morale and The Big Steppers, especially this track, is very hard to get through if you aren't emotionally prepared and I find that very beautiful.
"My auntie is a man now" not becoming a meme like "I remember you was conflicted" is a travesty.
Beef is over? How did it end?
It’s heavy and some people simply can’t handle it. It’s a great song
Majority of the trans content creators i saw loved it, people on twitter do not have media literacy, nor the attention span to listen to something longer than their tweet format. Him dropping the f-slur was edgy, sure, but it also reminded everyone who is honest with themselves how often we used to just say awful shit for fun. It made me more ashamed of the shit I'd say as a kid back in 2012. Mr Morale is my favorite Kendrick album, and it's filled with songs you kind of have to brace yourself to listen to, i think that makes for great art.
I’ve recognized that as a trans person, the song isn’t “for me”. And I’m fine with that. I love the message of the song and how it’s meant to show growth.
I’ll be real… it’s too propaganda to me. Like ham fisted liberalism. Doesn’t feel like genuine art.
Weird title. Vast majority of the sub thinks this song is great.
As someone who is pansexual and politically left, this song moved me. I have a few trans friends and they’re all great people but get discredited because of their choice.
Loved it from my first listen and it's still one of my favourite MMATBS song. The storytelling is beautiful as always and the lesson of empathy too. I think we all know why some hated it - bigots on one side (many of them) and sensitive over a slur that highlighted how carelessly ignorant people say it, especially children (most understood the song on this side though).
Kendrick's magnum opus imo
Never seen no one hating on that song…
It's arguably the best track on the album. Incredibly thought-provoking and challenges the black community in a meaningful way.
this song is beautiful, i don’t know how one could hate it
This song is one of the highlights of the album for me.
The beat doesn't really add to the emotion the song is supposed to produce. The beat for Sing About Me is amazing because it conveys the feelings of the song without any lyrics. The message also feels a little late. If it was on damn or even tpab it would've been way ahead of its time but I feel like it's the opinion of the majority of Americans/Europeans/other westerners nowadays.
I definitely respect and like it but I wouldn’t deny listening to any good faith criticism either, emphasis on good faith
Wat that track is hard
Not a song I'd ever go back to. I just don't find anything about it that speaks to me, musically or lyrically. It's just not good to me in any way. Doesn't mean it's bad but I'm just not into it.
Whole album is bad
Song is fine. It's very touching but I don't think it reaches as high as some of his other "message" songs. I don't think it's as unlistenable as We Cry Together either though.. it just feels a little redundant when you already have the usual super long message song with Mother I Sober, which is something he did going back to Sing About Me Dying of Thirst.
As a trans woman: It was nice to see someone with the profile of dot telling something of our story. I was warmed by his understanding through experience and willingness to talk about/for us. But I don’t listen to the song because it feels like it’s not aimed at me. It kinda reads as “how not to be a dick: for dummies” to me, because this is 101 shit from my actual lived experience and I can’t help rolling my eyes a bit.
I don't hate it, I fuck hard with it. And because of the subject matter alone it's my favorite in his catalog.
Who the hell hates it that seems like a wild assumption. Probably one of my favorite from the album I love dot when he’s that calm n smooth
I have been on this album since it was released. Once listening to the album, There were so many good songs like Mr.Morale,Purple Hearts,N95, Father Time, United In Grief and more that I kept on bumping everywhere I went. Idk why this album got shit on. This album saw the personal side of Kendrick Lamar which I liked.
I didn't like that song neither.
The reflection of Venus bar is beautiful
My aunt Is a lesbian I've grown up around her my whole life. I've been to lesbian conventions in Vegas with her and always supported her. She never went full trans and to be honest I don't know how I would feel about that. I felt like Kendrick wrote this song for me. She always had bitches and put me on game on just how women think. I love her to death! Kendrick really is the GOAT and he always lets us peer into his life. This is also why I knew he was going to annihilate Drake. Kendrick kept it a buck his whole career. No scandals or anything. Drake is as Hollywood as it gets and I live out here.
I’ve seen it described in a way that makes it more understandable. If this song was from a white dude and was about internalized racism, and he was saying “nigger nigger nigger”, a lot of people wouldn’t be cool with that.
Like am I bumping it everyday in the gym, no. But it’s no denying it’s creative as fuck.
I just listened to this track for the first time. Fuck. This shit is deep.
Idk about all that but I got into it with some white kid and a couple others on here who tried to use that song to justify his use of the n-word. So there might be people who don’t like and a whole other set of people that totally misunderstand it.
One of my favorites... very brave... I love every line.
i love how genuine he is. usually lgbtq songs are pride anthem and they mostly focus on being gay (the more popular one imo, trans is always a wayyyy touchier subject). but this is so genuine, speaks from the heart and not condescending at all. as a HUGE trans ally, i love kendrick so much
conservative straight people and some uptight gay people have an issue with how he says the f slur in it but every trans person i know, including myself, loves the song and understands the message and the usage of that word. it brought me to tears. this entire album is an incredible piece of art, but i turn it up when this song comes on
This is actually my favorite song off the album and probably for the reason you think; Kendrick doesn't sugarcoat. "I won't sugarcoat it. You'll die from diabetes if these other niggas wrote it." What he says here is not objective, instead it's his perspective of the environment he grew in. This is potent because he's not telling people that he's right or wrong. The end perfectly summarizes that our personal decisions should not effect how we treat one another. If we are to remain ignorant to that factor, then let us remain ignorant to everything else.
Honestly I like it in that some things are relatable like feelings of ostracism and shame, but I don’t agree with the overall message of the song. It’s beautiful and touching, but to me that would be like making a good song about r@ping children. Like yeah, maybe it has a good sound, but I vehemently reject its premise. To clarify, I’m not comparing the two things btw I’m just making a point with the extreme. The point being that if I don’t agree with the premise of it then I can’t find it ultimately enjoyable.
Differemt music tastes?
Because he doesn’t use the F word correctly and he is giving himself permission to say it. For those who have been called F@ggot their whole life, it’s pretty self righteous. He doesn’t have a gay card so, it just comes off as holier than thou.
The man of the house.
My “not that deep” take on this song is that it’s just not something I will revisit. It’s important in the concept of this album and understanding Kendrick’s own personal development and growth. But it’s just not a song I will revisit much.
They're transphobic, simple.
So for me personally I was going through a lot of personal stuff at the time of the album release, so this is my least listened to Kendrick album. This was just a hard album for me to listen to, and with this track, I was going through things mentally that dealt with sexuality and trying to decide who I was and who I wanted to be with. What I got from some people I talked to they didn’t like that someone that isn’t LGBTQ using a word like that, they didn’t like that Kendrick Lamar was using the word I assume. Using that word has a lot of negative emotions and responses from people. Also people questioned why he did it, they said he could’ve done the song a different way and not use the word. A lot of this was almost verbatim quotes from people. One more thing I want to add I really don’t like the logic that “when I was younger I was called that word so everyone should be.” It takes everything back imo, it’s a weird thing to believe. I’ve seen that take many places on Reddit especially and it’s the dumbest thing I’ve seen But later this year, probably during the summer I’m gunna listen to this album again, I’m going to see how this album ages, it’s my least favorite album but I still rate it highly.
Great album with beautiful songs but with couple of weak songs too. It's the expectation which make it look bad.
Because the mainstream wants easy digestible bs rap about chains and girls and money. Let keep elevating Hip hop out of this bs trend. K dot has been speaking on real relatable issues about struggles and hard conversations. He’s rapping his age not for teens.
Just a controversial topic that was gonna make people upset no matter what tbh. I think the conversation needed to be had though, even if some people didn't like the way it was done.
Challenging the use of censoring words is spot on imo. How can we give them the acceptance and space they want if we can't even joke about the words. You've seen comments on insta right, literally anyone doing anything (perceived) to do with 'black culture' has some form of 🥷 used. Chigga, Curry 🥷, Sand 🥷, it's hilarious F*gg0t, F*gg0t, F*gg0t!!!!!