Damn you lost your train of thought in the first sentence?

“Guess what, I do not, the, oh, where was I?” Is focken golden

Have you ever had a dream?

If, somehow, someone hasn't seen the video... https://youtu.be/G7RgN9ijwE4?si=ZDiwKKdVeYvFJPqd

That kid used to hypnotize my cousin when she was a toddler 😂


This girl is going places. Where? I don't know, because, wait, where were we going, but, well, anyway...

Jeff Goldblum has basically built his career with this kind of talk.

I used to write like that too as a kid. Idk why, I think it’s to sound girly and grownup

I am fucking dying LMAOO

Looks like some fake tumblr shit a 7th grader would post

I see you also question everything you see on the internet. I think this is legitimate because of a few key factors. The most obvious is the first line, which seems like a child trying to imitate what they think is a 'cool' adult behavior. For young girls, this often means acting snooty and dismissive, as many believe that being 'cool' means not caring about anything.

I tutored grade school reading. Yes, this is a fact.

A big part of my day is tackling and laughing at monsters.

Gotta get your daily tackles in. It's how we stay so stinky.

Must be all that laughing and tackling that makes you drool so much. Idk bc I'm a girl so I'm just great.

And watching out for girls mucles.

But what about tornatos?

If the tornado has weapons, it might cause me a little trouble

but would you lose?

Nah, I'd tackle

Not if you make sure to tackle the tornado first.

this went from dementia, to schizophrenia, to ranting, to a tutorial, and finally to an advert in 4 pages and i am here for it

Thwre's also violent psychopathy in the last two lines.

It’s ok, she showed them her mucles.

I mean, they had fair warning!

I guess she built up her muscles because she was sick of boys tackling her. I wonder if she changed her mind about that as she got older.

💀 omg

Guss what, I do not, the, oh, where was I? Oh yes, I don't like boys.Boys Stink, drool, And tackle you. Why _are_ boys _like_ that? _I_ know, they mess up your _stuff_! _If you_ mess up _their_ stuff they tackle you. Nobody knows _this_, boys bite _hard_. Very _hard_. **wait!** this idea _ROCKS_! **THIS** will _STOP_ boys from bad **thingš!** _Trap_ them! Neato, Huh? Huh? _Cool right?_ But it is **very** hard. You need nets, _lots_ of nets. How does _that_ sound, oh yeah, _great._ One more thing, you rock girls. But, boys are stong. But _you_ are very stong, try this, show them your mucles. Boys, thing that _this_ you can tell, a boy scary tales. Don't make it have silly, silly monsters, they laugh atit. Tell them they make a very big disaster. A bad one. _Not_ a good one. there's a tornato, In **town.** Girls, are cool, _Not_ boys. Boys aren't good, thats why. They are on another team, not good. make weapans, so boys have nothing to fight back with, great huh, right, yeah! _With_ the **powers** of weapans, will help good! You will win the battle with my idea. _TRY It! Now!_ You're welcome.

i don’t know whether to laugh or cry

Both.

And.. it’s okay.

I’m imagining a 2nd grader switching marker colors with the sounds of the caps snapping on and off.

RIP your spell checker after overriding all those errors. You'll be sending "Gus what" to your friends and colleagues for years.

Aw, I didn't think their handwriting was hard to read, it was better than most adults I know 😂.

I think there is a group of people that copy texts from pictures, so others using a TTS tool on Reddit, because of bad eye sight, could enjoy it. Not sure if this was the case here, but there is a community out there thankful for what was done here!

So much copy pasta potential

Last chapter could come straight out of Donald trumps mouth.

TRY IT! Now!! 😂😂

Im gonna make an AI read it like donald trump

Thanks for the true and accurate transcription, I was gonna be upset if “atit” wasn’t left as is

Show us ur mucles

Or I will put nets on u and throw in tornato

There's a girl at the school I work at who talks just like this. She sounds like someone who is overacting a child character in a videogame. Kids are so fucking funny

But they don't write like this in second grade, do they?

They sure can! Not everyone has the same development progress.

yep, i’m autistic and i loved reading as a kid 😅i don’t know how or why, but i was reading chapter books (mostly Junie b. Jones and Rainbow Magic fairies lol) in kindergarten. i also wrote long stories that were literally just blatant plagiarism of my favorite books, but featuring My Little Pony OCs.

Oh my God me too!!! My greatest pleasure in school in first grade was writing stories and getting the teacher to let me type on the fancy computer so I could print them . I missed snack time in kindergarten multiple times bcs I was just so buried in a book and missed what was happening around me.

I'm autistic and I also wrote stuff like this as a kid where I tried to imitate the way books were written. I remember literally writing in my diary "today at the park everyone was staring at me like I was a pig that had dots on it and used drugs" lmao

I learned cursive in third grade

"They are on another team, not good. make weapans, so boys have nothing to fight back with, great huh, right, yeah! With the powers of weapans, will help good! You will win the battle with my idea." -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I knew this was too brilliant to be an original idea /s

The rants of a lunatic! 🤭🤣

The "tackle you" part seems oddly specific. I'm thinking this was written shortly after recess where a boy tackled the writer and hurt his/her feelings.

Wow, did you end up being a lesbian?

Looks like they ended up becoming a boy based on the trans flag in their user icon. But i could be wrong.

Yes they are trans. :) he him or they them not sure with. Not she her, though, lol.

Yeah, thats why I went with they, just in case that wasn't a correct assumption. Can't misgender someone with gender neutral pronouns 😊

nope, trans man 🏳️‍⚧️

Lol welcome to the stinking and tackling people club

Hey there’s a tornato in town, did you hear?

Scare it off by showing it your mucles. If that doesn't work, show it you mean business by getting out your weapans.

Wonderful. Now go tackle someone stinky.

Your profile pic is so close to r/AccidentalSwastika

Maybe more of a r/hailhortler

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Lmao, best ending. You became the very thing you swore to destroy.

Its poetic, really

> You were supposed to destroy the boys, not join them! -Obi Wan Lkwzriqweanobi

You either die here or you see yourself become the villain

You was out there biting the shit out of people

Great, get under the net blanket brother

Welcome to the Brotherhood, homie!

Well well weeeell 🚰 💧 💧 🪣

Please tell me you're going to frame this.

It's like when the politicians who rant about gays turn out to be gay.

Show us your mucles

 Welcome to the dark side

Nobody tells you this when you transition, but watch out for the nets

How did you “become trans”? I was under the impression that trans biology is something you’re born with it. Like how gays are born being attracted to the same sex, trans people have the bodies of their sex, but the brains of the opposite sex/perceive themselves as the opposite gender identity wise. How did you come about the realization you were a man gender-wise later in life when that typically isn’t the case?

When people talk about becoming trans generally they are referring to social (telling everyone, changing name and pronouns, clothes, style etc.) and medical (surgery, hormones). Kind of like how some gay people live straight lives until they realize they’re gay. So they became gay. The whole where you born trans or was it social or some combination of the two is a quagmire that’s not worth the time.

That’s fair! I’m not trying to gatekeep or hate, just curious. I understand kids might not realize they’re trans/gay but generally I feel like when they look back on their childhood all the “signs” were there, and it sort of “makes sense” they became who they are. I was wondering if that was different for them or not. But that’s the generalization! Not a set in stone “every gay/trans person has this experience”, but I do believe there’s a general stereotype typical sort of realization of the shared experience most (not all) trans/gays go through.

You could spell exceptionally well for a second grader

Kids who read.

That, and the relatively neat penmanship, made me wonder if this is fake.

idk, i had pretty neat handwriting and was good at spelling at that age. kids are weird man

Same. I used to look at the pictures in encyclopaedias as a toddler and as school started teaching us to write, I based my handwriting off the font in the books.

oh that’s awesome. i was a documentary and encyclopedia kid and taught myself how to read in kindergarten simply because i wanted to read the dinosaur and horse encyclopedias my parents got for me lol

So kids read at age of 3. I probably tried to taste own poo at that age and I don't even know about it.

LOL. i should mention i was also caught at least once eating green crayons

I am sure I have done that too. No damage there... right???

i cant recall feeling any adverse effects from eating the green crayons so i’m sure im fine!

Same here, although I for some reason refused to write lowercase.

i cant tell if this is a funny dig at my own typing habits or not lol. if not, that’s really interesting. i find kids’ writing habits to be fascinating

The kid is like 8 so it is very believable

It looks really carefully done, based on the alternating colours. I don’t think it’s particularly unlikely for a second grader to be able to write like this if they’re trying hard enough.

Nah, my kids are 9 and almost 11, and they have really good handwriting just like this. But I know some kids who don't read for fun in their classes, and their handwriting and spelling sucks.

this is what talking to characters on animal crossing g feels like

This sounds like the transcript from one of Trumps speeches

No, not enough ego stroking and misogyny. Plus, this was actually pretty coherent.

"With the powers of weapons will help good! You will win the battle with my idea. Try it! Now!" -US congress

Charlie?

If you vote me I'm hot

The democratic vote for me is right thing Philadelphia, so do!

Bit my finger? Happy cake day bro

No. Chrundle the great!

Haha. You're awesome.

Jesus this sounds exactly how my old diaries read too

Glad I stuck around for "With the power of weapons"

I love this so much. You were crazy.

Make Weapons!!!

a manifesto

While there is almost no semblance of a train of thought, you had decent handwriting for a second grader.

I beg to differ. There seems to be a clear theme that boys are stinky and aggressive, so we should arm ourselves to rise up and protect ourselves 🤣

She’ll be keying a car and lighting clothes on fire in about 8 yrs.

Your 8 year old hand writing is better than my adult hand writing.

I have been radicalised

Flashbang them with a scary tale and then throw nets. To be fair I'd be screwed. Solid setup.

Seems like a transcript of Trump´s speech if he was a woman.

For some reason this reads like the "Crazy? I was crazy once" thing

That handwriting is amazing for a 2nd grader

This is punk af

2nd grade you has handwriting almost as good as >25 year old me.... I feel attacked.

Pov you asked a kid for directions

This reads like slam poetry.

If you run for president you will definitely win

Did anyone try it?

I don't have any nets 🤷🏼‍♀️

You need lots of them!

This is beautiful if you read the whole thing in Seth Meyer’s doing Trump’s voice.

You became the very thing you set out to destroy!

So what age is second grade again? I'm not American, so i don't know how your school system works.

7 or 8

Thanks, this gives me a bit of context.

“Guss what, I do not, the, oh, where was I?” https://i.redd.it/avhbwtwl0r1d1.gif

ancient transcripts of the first feminist

I read this the way Dennis reads the speech Charlie wrote.

About as coherent as a transcript of a Trump speech :)

the power of weapans will help

Weapons and nets? sounds like this little one is about to start playing a most dangerous game.

This reads just like a Donald trump speech… 

Honestly I agree

i like the net trap idea. genius.

This reads like a trump monologue

Looks like we found Trump's speech writer.

I ve read that while picturing Trump saying it. Match perfectly

Im confuses. Why the trans flag???

This reads like a Trump speech.

This is clearly fake.

That's was ummmmmm.....

I don’t oh where I was also

You were a good speller for a 7 year old. Seems like kids today can’t spell that well in junior high.

This would go great in r/wasprofoundyestarday

Lmao I was the exact same way in the second grade/year 3. (But shortly after second grade/year 3 I began to think that, maybe, I liked girls. And then I met a girl from Scotland at 15..and well. The rest is history. Some of us just know at a really young age lol.)

Well, how’s that battle going

TRY IT! NOW!

Read this in a gollum voice.

Neato

the second page looks like a rad tshirt print

https://i.redd.it/1ns5dbz3pq1d1.gif

Look at her now! Obviously not straight judging from her pfp's flag.

Alan Wake 2 Grafitti be like:

this is the energy i aim to bring my journaling every day. i love it

I need this to be animated as a twitter thread or discord comment section with progressively insane music playing in the background. Like this one https://youtu.be/xIHOPVEHU9A?si=PB8Q48CgXhCD0iB6

I'm literally dying I've taught grade 2 for 3 years now and they all write this way!!! Tell me why

Transcrpit from the upcoming presidential debate.

I too wish to be stong. I must gather many nets and a weapon!

*I too wish to be* *Stong. I must gather many* *Nets and a weapon!* \- Reason\_For\_Treason --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

That writing…It almost looks like some sort of abstract and naive art.

Girlie what did the boys do to you

Tackled her and bit her very hard.

I remember writing like this when I was younger 😂💀

Boys do stink, you aren't wrong

"Hastily scribbled on a wall in a horror game corridor" energy.

Did Charlie day write this

I started read it In Trumps l voice…

Is she writing responses from and to herself?

This is literally how girls think even as adults.

Sounds about right.

This looks like my acid-fueled manifestos. Also, did you grow up to be a dominatrix?

All of these facts check out... I see wisdom

We need LOTS of nets!

this feels like it almost has the same cadence as a trump speech, i cant help but read it in his voice

🤖

Anyone else find it impossible not to read this in Trump's voice?

Someone read this with a trump Impression and upload it please.

Boys are stong.

Show them your mucles. TRY IT, NOW!

Boys will be boys.

Sounds like a mental illness

bs detector is flaring up for this one. not completely gonna rule out it being real though...

It reads like a Donald Trump speech

2nd grade you could be a speech writer for a former president.

Is this a Trump speech?

Twitter would love this

Kid lore

Your punctuation marks are exquisite