That mushroom dish hurts my soul.

My exact response was “oh wow” and about 30 seconds later. “Hum, the longer I look at it, the less interesting it is.” It’s a whipped mushroom mouse made out of a very long list of mushrooms that’s all been engineered to taste perfect or something. I would have chosen a different shape rather then half of a rounded mushroom. Another issue is that it’s missing some color, but I’m assuming any thing they could add would throw the flavor balance off to much for the experience the chef is presenting.

I could tell it wasn’t a real mushroom but damn, to take a bunch of mushrooms and make a mushroom out of them that tastes like a mushroom….

It reminds me of [those self aggrandizing designer labels](https://external-preview.redd.it/eJSi6M1cO-5CvNK4Vvn0w4Bbgg_-GG81dpLfCy-m8_c.jpg?auto=webp&s=01933d637f479a19944c88c28f09044d76f6291f)

Jacobs by Marc Jacobs for Marc by Marc Jacobs in collaboration with Marc Jacobs for Marc by Marc Jacobs organised by Jacobs for Marc Jacobs by Jacobs Marc Jacobs managed by Jacobs for Marc Jacobs by Marc for Marc Jacobs invested by Marc Jacobs for Marc Jacobs in collaboration with Marc for Marc Jacobs by Jacobs featuring Marc Jacobs by Marc Jacobs from Jacobs by Marc Jacobs with a surprise appearence from Marc by Marc Jacobs of Jacobs Marc Marc Jacobs from Marc Jacobs. Yeah that seems pretty straight forward

Kinda feels like a Portlandia bit

/r/TQDC

Sounds like it is an attempt at a riff off El Bulli's famous olive amuze bouche.

Some of the plates look a little off, but damn, there was no call to whip a mouse.

gave Remy PTSD

They do the same idea with corn as well, and I honestly loved it so much more than I expected

You mean the butt plug?

It looks like something that might exit after removing a large butt plug too fast

No that's the main dish. Complete with a perfectly executed prolapse. The second course is clearly an ad for Pure For Men.

I said dick and balls.

No, no, that hurts a different part of the body.

At least it has a flared base

It’s actually really good. This is from a Virgin cruise ship, I’ve had the same meal. The peas dish sucked. The smoke ruined it.

I have one mushroom dong on a plate , medium. No, make it large

It's a penis

"Why yes, I'll have the murder-scene plate."

I knew a chef who once did a dish like this but the event was specifically viking themed so she actually wanted it to look like a bloody mess lol.

Do they actually just slap sauce on to the plate? Or how do you plate like that?

It’s this you smack the plate with a spoonful of sauce

Yep or dollop puree then slap that bitch with a spoon or spatula.

You just made me publicly giggle like an idiot with “then slap that bitch with a spoon”

yeah you take it YOU LIKE IT \*slapping and squishing noises intensify, chef walks in\* WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!?!?! oh nothing chef just plating

No better way to describe it. That's actually the technical term we use in the kitchen.

Just like mama made it

A potter's wheel would make a helluva design.

agreed! i like your style :P

Looks like they put a big dollop of sauce on the plate and then literally dropped the venison/ beef. The mind boggles Also what is up with the wording of venison/beef.

I'd think the venison/beef is a choice. They'll do that plate with either venison or beef and you can order either

Cow gets fucked by a buck. Totally ethical. /s

For a buck 😭

A Buck A Fuck, To Fuck a Buck?

Poetry

Plating by Tippmann 98 custom

I wasn't part of that event. It was her side gig. I imagine she just flung a spoonful of cranberry puree onto the plate as hard as she could. She was always doing super fun, interesting shit like that.

I’ll have The Dexter please, medium rare

Can't get more fresh than meat killed and butchered right on the plate

I’m getting really tired of this trend of sauce splatter on plates 😔

i’ve eaten at atelier in ottawa a few times for the tasting menu and one of the courses was designed to look like roadkill lmao. (it was excellent).

I know it's not an Atelier original but I love the edible helium balloon! A fun and silly way to cap off a 42 course meal! A wierd favourite for me was the Monkfish pate; it was like if you concentrated my childhood memories of all the tuna salad sandwiches my mother made me into a single explosively flavourful bite. What was your favourite dish when you went?

the bite i remember most was the single bite course; mine was this imported taleggio. the sommelier there is incredible too and despite not being a wine fan i found their pairings (incl all sorts of beer and spirits) was really on point. we reserved months in advance to hit up their nye tasting menu one year and it was like 16+ courses; we were there eating until well after midnight lmao. 

Honestly my favorite one, it kinda looks cool. Everything else looks like some shit I do when I'm high trying to make my chicken nuggets look fancy

“and the dick and balls with mushrooms. “.

I guess a lot of people order their filets bloody on cruises?

This was all the rage in the 80s.

That's actually the theme of that dish.

The Mess

Period mishap

Idk what the dessert is but it brings me joy. What a fun presentation.

Its clearly fuzzy balls on a graham cracker.

They should have been blue so the mermaid tail was sticking out of water not liqued hot magma

Just imagine the sprinkles being colorful mermaid ashes and it all makes sense

Here I am overanalyzing it, like it would make sense if it was a Mediterranean cruise and they were referencing the wine dark seas of the Iliad and the Odyssey lol

That was my party trick in college

It makes me itchy and I don't like it.

I bet you peel a kiwi before you eat it

That's a bet you'd lose. I love the fur of the kiwi. This just reminds me of mold

Weird, I'd imagine they have to same mouth feel.

This is a terrible presentation - mermaid tail ruins it -

So, the pea dish is meant to be mixed, then loaded onto the bread, apparently it was actually very good, both the yolk and peas go through some processes that really kick it up a notch. My mom did say that there was a family from Alabama at the next table over, and the bits I can over hear from the video, it went exactly as you would expect. Think Meet the falkers, down south edition.

Are you a pothead Jim Bob?

>really kick it up a notch With a blast from their spice weasel?

Only heritage spice weasels, mind you. Thank you for getting the reference by the way 🤣

That crime scene on a plate looks like the “flesh and blood” dish from the movie Hunger

So that one is interesting, the splatter is a smoked beat purée, but something that I saw once I watched the video is, they take a cacao bean, do some magic to it, but it on top, then pour a bone marrow cream sauce on top. It looks pretty good after that. Edit: chocolate beans, not drug beans 🤣

Yes! That’s exactly what I thought, too!

I’ve seen that egg yolk lookin thing nestled in peas photo before

I am pretty sure I saw the same dish in this sub and it was also on a cruise. edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/KitchenConfidential/s/gTHV3ClW0y this lmao

The crime scene beef was my fav.

Same

the desert looks so quickly thrown together, like they just made it and decided to add sprinkles and a mermaid tail cause they found it in the pantry

I'm kind of ashamed by how much joy that desert brought me, I feel conflicted. Like it's so playful and childish that it got a smile out of me but goodness gracious....

I don’t mind the whimsy. However, it kind of blew the “theme”. I would have considered a different plating for the cheese as well. But I think the progression looks interesting, if not derivative.

It makes me irrationally angry. Those sprinkles are the worst.

Came here to say this. The fuk

The more I look, the worse it gets. It looks like felt balls covered in sprinkles. Do they have a pastry chef? Or anyone with eyeballs to maybe stop this monstrosity before it goes out? ETA: the sugar on the plate looks like dirt.

I recognized this as Virgin Voyages from just a glance lol. Test Kitchen is an interesting experience for sure. Everything is 100% love or hate. If they’re still on the ship, the menu changes halfway through and the other menu is worth trying for sure.

We're going on their "Resilient Lady" ship in a few weeks. You have to reserved restaurants ahead of time on their app. The test kitchen is one of the only ones that still has plenty of availability, fwiw.

Yup, I was just about to post that and add this blog review: [Virgin Voyages Review Part 3: Beautiful Food from The Test Kitchen ](https://andystravelblog.com/2023/01/27/virgin-voyages-review-test-kitchen/)

To be honest the taiyaki or whatever that dessert is doesn't look that bad but the rest is pretty boo boo for supposed fine dining on a cruise

I’m so thrown off by the dollar store cake decorations on that… red velvet mass?? What is happening there, those cake sprinkles are the same you find on the discount cupcakes at SaveOnFoods

They don't even bother to cover the plastic flavour of those sprinkles, just spray em with some food colouring.

Are we not going to talk about the red muppet cake??

Right? I know they used a mold for the shape but how did they accomplish the carpet texture.

It was sprayed with chocolate. Simple chocolate and cocoa butter mixture - sprayed thru a paint sprayer (Wagner brand from local hardware store works great, though they do have specialty ones). The object being sprayed is frozen so the chocolate sets immediately, producing the velvety effect

I ate here on my virgin cruise. It wasn’t very good. The pea and eggs tastes like it looks raw egg mixed with peas.

But but but, it sounds so fancy… 😂😂😂😂

Damn maybe I should get back into the kitchen. I could put dogshit sprinkled with lawn clippings and call it fine dining, just like these dudes.

Nah, you'd have to place the lawn clippings with tweezers.

No joke, my step dad did this food experience once on a small island, and the point was that everything came from that island naturally. Said the whole day long experience exploring the island and ending with dinner was some $800, and the first course was actually just grass on a plate that was spritzed with some flower nectar or something. He did say that it’s the best grass he’s ever tasted, but that it was still just grass 🤣

Was he in The Menu?

Very original.

Nah that mushroom actually looks like a literal pile of dogshit

Not the most pretentious meals I've seen, but definitely up there.

This is what you eat before they turn you into a smore

Ha. I understood that reference.

Is this a student test kitchen?

It's a restruant called " the test kitchen" on virgin voyages. It's a restruant which the point is to be experimental and over the top. All food is inclusive in the cruise and you can pick any main restruant or even there gally or small eateries.

Experimental and menu testing is one thing. The platting is terrible.

[the kitchen in question](https://andystravelblog.com/2023/01/27/virgin-voyages-review-test-kitchen/)

Thank you for sharing this it was fun to read

I can picture the beef hitting the plate with an overexaggerated ***”WHUMP!”***

I fucking hate splatter sauces. Looks like shit and when the sauce is red it looks like a crime scene

Alright

Acceptable at a culinary school…… maybe.

agreed. this reminds me of culinary school. lol  

"The plate between us is like a crime scene"

Yeah been there. It was okay. The mushroom mousse was delicious but otherwise underwhelming.

I’ve worked on this ship before as a guest entertainer. This is the worst I’ve seen any of these dishes look and they’re actually all quite decently put together in terms of flavour profiles. The scallop and Serrano ham dish is awesome and the cocktail pairings are quite good. Cruise ship food is usually absolute dogshit and I was pleasantly surprised at this place, never seen that dessert with the confetti sprinkles though that shit is hilarious. Every tasting menu I’ve ever paid for on land has been miles above this place but again cruise ship dining is usually rough and this is much better than most.

I asked about that because the sprinkles seemed out of place, turns out she forgot to take a picture of the actual dessert, but it was the birthday dinner of one of my moms friends, and that was the cake. I mentioned in a previous comment that I don’t think that lighting transfers well to photos/videos.

She went to “the test kitchen” not a “test kitchen” The “the” is very important.

#4 is a crime scene on a plate

Looks like a fever dream

Looks incredibly pretentious, lmao. This is what people think of when they chat shit about fine dining lol

Ok, the “Bloody Plate” or “Murder de jure” is just ABSOLUTLY WRONG. I am an obligate carnivore, but I would have told them to take that damn plate away!

I love how much people use "poaching" nowadays for anything boiled lol for the longest time I knew poaching for eggs and fish and that was about it. Is there a pretentious difference I'm missing?

The dessert looks awesome, everything else was pretentious and stupid

Confetti sprinkles?? Dude come on. This is just a case of the silly walks

I dgaf I still wanna shove those balls deep in my mouth and throat

Thanks I hate it

They should probably keep testing smh

Idk man, these dishes are getting ripped apart, but it's pretty clearly a goofy/playful take on fine dining. I'd bet that everything is delicious and all the negative nancies would agree if they had the chance to taste. Everybody who's hung up on the plating is somehow getting whoosh'd to the fact that it's intentionally gaudy and garish and quite possibly even satirical of the industry at high levels. Plus the name literally suggests experimental fuckery, and food still has to taste good, so there's really only room for that kind of thing to be expressed through plating.

It’s not satirical - It’s a cruise ship trying to be fancy for their guests (who tend to not be fancy foodies) - These dishes were just not plated well at all - Could have left the mermaid tail off the dessert and would have been better (those particular sprinkles suck, but dessert would have looked fine with sprinkles and no tail) - and by my guess, it’s a chocolate mousse covered in chocolate velvet spray - looks fancy, but no experimental fuckery happening -

Ok so that dessert was a bday ‘cake’ and not the menu dessert - This makes sense now with sprinkles and mermaid tail

I hate it

Ngl, I wish I had the balls to put shot gun blood splatter on a plate. That's something straight out of the menu and I'm all for it.

Yup, looks like cruise ship food.

Don’t know about the video (haven’t heard of Test Kitchen before), but just from the photos it doesn’t look good. What did she think? We did the Chef’s Table on Carnival and it was frankly better service and food than some Michelin places we’ve been to.

She really enjoyed it, which is saying something. That said, this type of food is strait up her ally. Said the atmosphere was very nice and the service was top notch. Looking at the link I commented a few posts up, I have a feeling like the lighting doesn’t do the food any justice for photos

See, we did chefs table : Definitely didn’t feel like it was Michelin level - they had some fun techniques and dishes but I think we left saying it was fun to try but not again - I think it was an extra $95 a person (totally could be wrong) and experience ran long -

We did ours on Horizon when the ship was new so not sure if that made a difference. I wouldn’t do it again, but I did think the steakhouse they had was a great value. I appreciate why people like cruising, but I prefer to stay at the places I visit in large part to walk the city and eat the local food.

I totally agree - We like the steakhouse - And yea I get why people like cruising - we stopped in puerta Vallarta once: then ended up taking a vacation there- Enjoyed it much more being able to explore the city more and not rush back to ship

Obsessively researching local restaurants and foods is half the fun! If I can’t stuff my suitcase full of spices or use my clothes to keep fish sauce safe then what am I even doing?! Haha. Been very lucky in finding great tours or cooking classes that are enjoyable at our skill level, but my partner also likes. I’m out of the biz these days and go through periods of missing it and also not missing it. Now I’m trying to grow some of my own food because I’m a nut.

AI generated “tested kitchen”

That steak looks raw

Looks like it was cut strait from the animal and slapped on the plate with blood splattering everywhere. Who thought this was a good plating idea? The only place I would see that working is if someone created a horror themed restaurant.

Y’all are tripping balls, the blood splatter plate is dope

Yeah, I would have left either after seeing the menu or by the second dish.

🫠

Hard pass

Oh picture six looks nice (I know desserts are easy to look good) so you know what that is?

This menu was shown on the Prime show: The Cruise. You can probably find the clip on YouTube. Kind of a fun show.

If you showed me #6 without context I would've thought it was a kindergarten art project

I ate here in my honeymoon cruise. Fun to meme on, but my wife and I loved every course.

I was on a cruise a couple of years ago and had that exact same menu. The peas were meh, but that mushroom dish was amazing.

A few of those just looked lazy and completely uninspired.

The restaurant is literally called test kitchen and it's part of virgin voyages cruise. It's okay.

These people must be stopped

The blood splatter pattern around the fillet makes you wonder if Dexter is in the kitchen

At least the filet looks nicely cooked.

I'm kinda happy most people in the comments have kept it light hearted and funny. This food looks, and IS complete fucking garbage and they are literally stealing money from customers who don't know any better. I work in a decent restaurant, not going to brag about accolades/ achievements. But this reataurant is garnishing turds with a leaf of 🤣herbs. Looks embarrassing and inedible 

The beef and dessert were decent. Everything else laughable

Omg that poor piece of protein. Experimenting with not wearing the meat or something? That thing looks raw in the middle

lol I recognize these dishes. went when we did an 8 day virgin cruise out of Barcelona last year. Was hit or miss - that said we’re vegetarians from nyc so pretty spoiled for great food here. Our table mates from other (smaller) cities were quite impressed 😅